Ep.05.02- Dance Dance Revelations

saw someone say they're we're happy Alicent's and Otto's deaths forced them "realize what they had done" and like...

Otto's one thing, I get the animosity. but Alicent? your getting hot and bothered over her realizing she failed, she failed to save her children, she failed to protect them, to them alive? that she tried so hard, so fucking hard, making every hard decision, trying to get between her children and the fate they were damned to by Viserys and Rhaenyra? that she damned her kids, who were already damned to die to begin with, and had to suffer the guilt of them dying to her own hand? that she's going to drive herself mad with grief over her children, her grandchildren?

like... it's not satisfying (especially for show Alicent) watching a woman go so mad with grief it literally kills her because she fought with everything she had to save her children only for them to die anyway. ever since her father's exile, when Rhaenyra's lies took Viserys's favor, when Viserys ignored the Rhaenyra's sons bastardhood at the risk of the whole house, or when Luke took Aemond's eye and Viserys demanded good will; she knew her children's lives were forfeit. then Daemon killed Vaemond and her children's coffins were built, catching cobweb's all the while. she knew and she fought it desperately, taking risk after risk, living in fear until her moment came, she could out Aegon on the thrown, she could protect her kids, maybe, just fucking maybe they'd be safe... only for it to lead to a war that would kill her entire family.

her death, slow and tragic as it was, is heartbreaking. she didn't deserve it, she deserved to feel safe, to feel as though she could allow her past friend take the thrown without her children being at risk to feel as though she and her children weren't being circled by wolves and picked at by vulture's. she didn't deserve to live alone and die alone. she didn't deserve to have her hands coated in her children's blood.

What is your favorite Candle scent?

(And also, if it pleases you, what do you HC the Dangans fav scents are?)

HMMM.... been pretty fond of sandalwood recently. I didnt know I liked it because I didnt know it existed with a name, but it reminds me of wood varnish found in stuff like old jewelry cases (or in my case, an old music box)!

Also because I actually wrote and drew something to do with sandalwood scent hehe. But. I dont like it enough yet to post it.

But on that topic;

Hajime doesnt like almost any artificial scent; he can smell the actual chemicals too well, and a lot of it makes him feel kinda gross (cheap perfumes straight up smell like pure alcohol). He likes natural scents, like petrichor or the shore, stuff that changes often and can't possibly be recreated in a lab.

Sonia likes a specific scent for a specific creme from her homeland that can't be found anywhere anymore. When she tries to describe it, it sounds ... weird? But she SWEARS it was great. And of course, she likes book smell. Learns to tolerate the smell of rodent enclosures.

Kazuichi is completely neutral about the smells in his near surroundings (he might smell like oil, grease, gasoline and sweat, but he barely notices (someone ELSE might notice, and even appreciate)). Hes always liked "girly" smells, like floral perfumes or laundry softeners. The smell of car air fresheners (like the little rubber feet) makes him nauseated.

Akane doesn't like any froufrou stuff! She likes the smell of food, exhaust, dirt, forest and sweat. All natural baby. If anything, she's a bit particular to the smell of rubber and leather, since she uses both frequently at her best (in the gym). For some reason, men's cologne makes her feel physically sick.

Fuyuhiko is a traditional dude and likes traditional smell, like incense, oils, and bamboo. Nothing too overpowering. Just plain soap, too. His least favourite smell is not something he'll admit out loud (at worst, he'll seem like he cant handle himself, at best, it's just depressing), and you could never tell anyway.

"Im not even sure anymore if we get to choose who our friends are" There is a part of me that resents you for making me a worse person than i want to be but i am inexplicably uncontrollably drawn to you. You make me a worse person which is the last thing i want yet i want you in every way. If i could leave i would. Maybe i can but i dont want to. I have fun with you. You challenge me and you captivate me and you push me and pull and run circles around me and it makes me feel like a younger man. For the price of being a worse person i get to feel truly, wholly alive. You are the blood that runs through my veins; vital, inseparable. I was reborn when i met you and you are the womb that haunts me. You are the one person on planet earth who knows me. I wish i could leave, move on and be the man im supposed to be but my heart is tied to yours in a gordian knot. There is a part of my soul that rests in yours, magnetic. For as long as i love you i cannot be better than i am. But maybe thats something i can learn to live with. Gregory House-- I think you're worth it.

attention girlies with tinnitus: consider that your problems could be nerve related and caused by neck and back issues

i was scared that i was gonna eat like a garbage person forever and never get any vegetables in me but it turns out that my body will naturally start craving any sort of vegetation when i eat too much fatty meaty things cause oh my god its killing me

can we actually take a moment and remember swan upon leda? can we actually shut the fuck up and sit the fuck down and think about our lord and savior swan upon leda because i'm tired of doing it alone every single day guys

you know how some anime artists online turn kinda ugly to mediocre guys into really sexy bishie yaoified dudes in their art? i feel like dio from jojos is the polar opposite because originally he DID look like that but the adaptions did this to him

I understand the people who DC in DBD when they find out the killer is the Clown, now. That's going to be me with the horrible fucking thing that's joined the franchise now.

I love crawling out of the depths, opening up tumblr, and seeing your art. I love it.

it is quite interesting how social media can fall to the wayside, and people on the internet can just disappear forever if they really wanted to! I admit I struggle to keep up with "public accounts", they are uniquely stressful and I solute your hibernating tenacity. always lovely to see you resurface regardless, thank you very much for the lovely compliment...

I will say in case any of my dear followers were wondering where i've gone for the past month and a half, for weeks i've been pondering how to even broach the enormity of the topic that is: I made the mistake of thinking about my most favorite character for more than 2 minutes in one sitting. I intentionally go out of my way to avoid this and have many strategies to evade this occurring because every time I do enter a sort of hermetically sealed mental chamber where it's just me and him and his life and I begin to ignore all points of previously established social contact and also my health indefinitely. It's difficult to convey the emotional experience of this or its psychic magnitude. and it's hard to say "guys i really love this character!" because that's just words. you can't see it. the 10 years of obsessively thinking about some guy so intensely on&off cyclically until you've made 20 different worlds he's living in... how does one convey the depth of these without artistically depicting them as you see them to be...? i am trying to figure it out. currently planning a longform comic for my favorite and several smaller comics for others, but logically an individual can understand this takes a while... he and I have had multiple rendezvous over the past decade and I wish I had more "historical" art to show but for many of these years I have been a bit too physically disabled to draw, the past several weeks have been spent attempting to recreate his ideal form as he exists in my head. he is starting to come around!

I typed up three separate disquisitions last month to try and explain my feelings on him and none of them felt like the proper vessel to communicate this concept. which is likely for the best. the obvious answer is "just draw him". fine with this being the case, difficult when I have so many drawing ideas I'm now sitting on 100+ works in progress and they just keep accumulating since my brain generates these like an old laptop you leave in the corner of your room to mine bitcoin. in a way I'm content with this being a very "personal" experience thus far, shared with me and those in my inner social circle (really cannot emphasize to my readers enough how fandom can poison your constitution without self-checked moderation). however... I yearn to meet others who are as passionately involved with him as I am, because I think we could coalesce our ideas, and passion, into something beautiful...

^dio brando

did you know i love your MASH fanart so so so much with my whole entire heart. i just wanted to make sure you knew!!!!!! LOVE ATTACK 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤💥💥💥💥💥💥

thank you, i'm so glad people like it!! i'm definintely venting a LOT of the stress, insecurity, chronic insomnia, and general sense of helplessness in the face of doomsday that are involved in getting a marine bio degree and not only dealing with it myself, but trying to help all my friends get through it too. frankly i'm surprised i'm even able to be coherent anymore at this point...

i got so sick and braindead off of formaldehyde on wednesday that i ended up totally untethered from reality and cried in another lab later on, so at this point drawing/writing my funny depressed doctors having a good time is much-needed emotional support. that, and my mom gets a kick out of me sending her drawings of hawkeye. she loves that fruity son of a gun!

Hi bitch ive been busy. I forgot to share a sad beats so there and is link thats not bandcamp: https://push.fm/fl/0OKVK8cK and then a link that is bandcamp: https://samzabala.bandcamp.com/track/sarong-banggi my shit aside from sad beats and its just nerdy coding shit: https://samzabala.space/projects/piano/ https://samzabala.space/projects/ghoststoriesdubipsum/ I got interviewed too: https://boldjourney.com/news/meet-sam-zabala/ i love you 🙂

now i do like 'young and menace' but it is not a pleasant listening experience for me, personally. i think it's a beautiful piece of art that perfectly encapsulates the essence of all the evils of mental illness in sonic form. and is therefore a deeply uncomfortable listen FOR ME. like yeah! oops i. did it again i. forgot what i was losing my mind about. for real! that is what that sounds like. mania itself caught like lightning in a bottle (3:43 long song).

i read the exorcist.

you will come across like seven different influencers promote a brand or startup selling clothing for over $50 a piece and they’re talking it up they’re smiling they’re loving it and you check the material. it’s always polyester acrylic or nylon every single time

shaking some of you by the shoulders and forcing you to confront if your self proclaimed pretentiousness is just an excuse to be casually classist or ableist