#getting RAPED some fucking of us have brain enough to be mortified
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can we actually take a moment and remember swan upon leda? can we actually shut the fuck up and sit the fuck down and think about our lord and savior swan upon leda because i'm tired of doing it alone every single day guys
#the title itself!!! THE FUCKING TITLE#swan UPON leda#god he's an actual genius THANK U HOZIER SO FUCKING MUCH#i hate how that myth is portrayed and received and objectified bc they make it out to be such a funny little chuckle story like 'hahaha led#is SO easy that she fell for a swan isn't that actually the funniest thing you've ever heard omg like women are literally so easy to please#whatever whatever blahblahblah yes that's fucking hilarious matthew thank u SO much for that absolutely fascinating commentary on a women#getting raped by a god really truly an amazing insight into ur pea fucking brain#like fuck sorry but i just absolutely despises how this myth is made out to be and i remember learning abt it in class and being literally#nauseated bc guess fucking what it's literally not hard to understand wtf is happening and while u r laughing away about i repeat a WOMEN#getting RAPED some fucking of us have brain enough to be mortified#jesus ANYWAY#hozier dropped that song after roe v wade was over turned and i just i love him so fucking much he cares SO MUCH and before anything else#he's an activist and he actually gives a shit about women's rights and he dropped this song as a comfort as something to hold onto but also#as a social commentary and he linked charities and resources to help women and keep them safe and this song just means everything to me#bc greek mythology often gets reduced to children stories bc most ppl know myths from children books and obviously a book for kids not gonn#outloud say the word rape or even imply that that's what's happening and that's fine ig but bc so many ppl know it from there it gets#reduces to a joke and a raped women gets ridiculed but hozier actually took one of the few poems about leda being raped and it being a rape#at all and made it into a song during a time that was so traumatizing for ever afab person in the world basically and it just says 'i see#you i see what you're going through and i'm listening and i actually care and i want to help you' and he's helping by writing a song yes bc#he's spreading the word that way bc that's how movements are spread and people listen to him when he's singing and that's how he helps and#i did i mention that i love him? bc i'd actually do anything for him and to meet him and tell him how much he fucking means to me#the line that always gets me is 'a crying CHILD pushes a CHILD into the night' bc yes she was a fucking child who had to deliver 4 KIDS BC#AN ASSHOLE DECIDED SHE WAS PRETTY ENOUGH TO FUCK and nobody ever cares that she was just a child and her child helen was just a child when#she was abducted and raped and impregnated (JUST LIKE HER MOTHER) by theseus a supposed great hero and im genuinely sick she was just a#child like so many women or girls in greek mythology and ik it was a different time back then or wtv but they were just GIRLS and nobody#cared about that or cares now. but this song does.#bc of course it does it's hozier.#hozier#swan upon leda
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Eternal Hearts Liveblog, pt 1
Special thanks to @missn11, who is probably mortified their name is associated with this travesty of a post, for letting me get my filthy little hands on this piece of embarrassing VTM history.
Okay guys, time to do the thing that’s gonna get me cancelled by fifteen-year-olds in the year 2032:
I’m gonna liveblog Eternal Hearts.
I once promised myself I would never make a rape joke, but today I break that vow because even the rape scenes are (sometimes) just that fucking ridiculous that I had to make fun of them.
This book is just.
Guys.
It’s GLORIOUS.
In the first twenty-four pages alone we have:
A guy is confronted by a locked door, so he whips his dick out. Everyone else acts like this is completely normal.
A guy meeting Final Death because a politician sat on his face. RIP in pieces Noah.
A mortal setting herself on fire, waving her arms around and running at a bunch of vampires yelling “DIE, YOU BASTARDS!”
A guy using his dick as a key ring. (Yeah, it’s the locked door guy.)
Lucita given the Hallowe’en treatment, in that she’s covered with sewage -- but sexy!
Daddy kink on top of the Washington monument.
Only some of the above makes sense in context. Some of it is as baffling in context as it is out of context.
This is the funniest shit I’ve ever read. Nobody told me about this when I went in holy shit.
Time to open this sucker up!
Liveblog under the cut!
DEAD DOVE, DO NOT EAT, THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING. IF YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT ETERNAL HEARTS IS, DO NOT READ THIS LIVEBLOG, HOLY SHIT.
You’re in for a ride, and it’s the edgiest, unsexiest ride ever.
First thing I notice: Eternal Hearts is, in fact, written by a woman. Which may mean that if she wanted to scare the shit out of her female readers, she'd know exactly how to do it.
gulp.
(^ I wrote that back when I thought I was gonna traumatise myself by reading this. OH BOY)
Next bit, the rape book is opened by the following foreword:
What follows is an essay that basically boils down to "no! :D but we wrote it anyway!”
Partway through that is this quote:
We’ll come back to that quote later. Several times, I predict.
Aaaand we open straight into a gang rape scene! Oh joy. And there’s church spires, to make it extra edgy.
Oh but then they give her the Kiss so she enjoys it! Yay!
Oh.
She's a shovelhead.
They never mentioned THIS part of the Sabbat recruitment process.
and now she's underground and buried and being raped again? Somehow. Like somebody’s got their entire goddamn fist in there. While under six feet of dirt. I know someone’s got their entire damn fist in there because the Shovelhead’s thinking about how somebody got their entire goddamn fist in there.
(Yeah this is the bit I had to make jokes about because it was that fucking ridiculous. I started this out trying to be respectful. I failed. Miserably. I just can’t fucking do it this is too -- too -- Eternal Hearts-y.)
Like the author just turned to the other people in the credits page and pitched this idea: “guys. Hear me out. What do you think is scarier than being raped or being buried alive?”
“idk what?”
“being raped after being buried alive!”
“That’s a GREAT idea!”
(”Lucy didn’t even break the rules as much as I was willing to let her” Remember that quote? Thank god for that.)
Jean - for that is our poor Shovelhead's name, RIP - seems only mildly concerned about the rape. and the fact it’s still happening.
Like yeah, serious talk, putting my respectful hat on: to be fair, everyone responds to trauma differently. You know how I respond to trauma? I make jokes about it. Like I’m the kind of person to say “what are you gonna do, STAB ME?” for the lols when a guy is pointing a knife at me.
Okay, respectful hat back off, back to edgy humour.
Anyway she’s being fisted by somebody while also six feet underground, somehow, and daydreaming about the guy she’s stalking and about how she’s in love with him, hmm, maybe he had something to do with it? She’s not entirely sure.
(ETA: So an anonymous Discord friend was reading my liveblog and said this:
and I laughed so hard my dog actually pawed at me because she was worried.
Yeah, I’m going to hell, but at least I know I’m taking you guys with me.)
Anyway she starts digging her way out, and I guess she’s still being fisted while she’s digging her way out???? IDK they didn’t say it stopped??? Like that’s gotta make digging your way out difficult.
And then cut to Lucita!
Walking past a protest outside a sex shop. There’s a bunch of Christian protestors outside because they’re bored or something. We get straight back into rapiness with a Dominate:
Damn Lucita, if jizzing your own brains isn't the hottest image you can give a guy, I don't know how what is.
Lucita decides to snack instead of raping him, but does sexually assault him by taking his dick from his pants and leaving it in his hand when he’s unconscious.
Lucita walks into a meeting at a brothel. There are “slaves”. I’m not sure if they’re sex slaves or if they’re actually ghouls, but then again, this is Eternal Hearts so probably both.
She expects Pieterzoon to be there, but he's not. When the others start talking like he's missing, she is completely unconcerned and immediately starts talking as if she knows he's missing.
They move on. Pieterzoon has paid Lucita to assassinate Marcus Vitel. Good fucking luck with that one. Everyone at the meeting is trying to stop her from doing it. Lucita’s like “tough shit he’s already paid me bitch is gonna die”.
Also the Brujah woman present is apparently this scene’s titillation or something because the author loves to remind us about how tight her clothes are and how she's "seductively cuddling" people.
no fucking kidding
I like how the VTM universe goes out of its way to avoid using the terms “son” and “daughter” to avoid the Unfortunate Implications when people inevitably start fucking their Sires
and the author’s like "nah fuck that let’s daddy kink it up.”
Oh and he does it ON TOP OF THE WASHINGTON MONUMENT!! Like gang rape in a churchyard wasn’t edgy enough I guess.
the author can't go a paragraph without reminding us that sex exists and everyone is utterly sex crazed. The bit I blacked out above? That was Lucita daydreaming about hiring a prostitute. Like that’s not erotica, erotica is arousing, this is just voyeurism.
Lucita apparently hasn't yet noticed she's in a porno.
Somebody makes a joke about the Christian protestors gang raping the prostitutes outside. It’s a Ventrue. Of course it is.
Apparently the slave (I guess the word “ghoul” isn’t sexy enough) in the above screenshot is a fucking senator. Pun not intended. She soothes the cranky Brujah by suggesting they get somebody called Torres deported? I have no idea what that has to do with Lucita assassinating Marcus Vitel, but there's almost certainly going to be fucking involved.
(ETA 23/1/21 -- I regret to inform you all that there wasn’t “fucking” involved so much as gang rape. Never mind.)
Lucita and the Brujah guy almost start stabbing each other (so much for that soothing), but somebody has just set the brothel on fire so they have to GTFO.
The mortal senator can't quite fit inside the escape tunnel because her skirt is huge and keeping it on is apparently more important than not dying of smoke inhalation. But it’s okay, she manages it.
The skirt will be important later, unfortunately.
They come to a locked door in the passage. Oh no, whatever will they do?
Will they take a key out of their pocket and unlock it?
Nah, that’s too fucking sensible.
The Brujah that tried to punch Lucita whips out his dick.
Yes.
He actually fucking does that.
Weird flex, but okay.
(ETA 21/1/21 -- I just realised... what if it’s somebody ELSE’S penis he just whipped out? Like the thing was actually just chilling out and he pulls it out the way somebody else pulls out a cucumber. It’s not attached to his body, it’s just THERE?)
Everyone is completely unfazed by this. Both by the fact he whipped his dick out, and the fact he uses it as a fucking key ring.
Like. Is this a habit of his????? APPARENTLY IT IS.
(ETA: Anonymous Discord friend says:
SDFADLFJASDLFJASDF)
They end up in a sewer.
Garinson keeps a key to a sewer on his dick key ring.
(”Lucy didn’t even break the rules as much as I was willing to let her” yeah I just remembered another place more fitting for a sewer key)
THEN!!!
PLOT TWIST!!
The senator suddenly threatens everyone with a lighter!!
After the kindred are done laughing their ass off, she covers herself in whiskey, sets herself on fire and charges them.
I'm sorry but the way it's worded - pin wheeling, cringing - just makes this the funniest shit. It gets even funnier when you remember they’re knee-deep in water. Ever tried to run in water? It’s. not exactly easy. So presumably she’s tripping and stumbling the entire time and somehow still on fire as she does so.
A kindred tries to escape by clawing his way up the wall. He falls. The senator assassinates him by flinging her skirt over his head and sitting on his face. That part of her is also on fire. The skirt and her thighs are on fire.
And I guess they’re obviously not thigh-deep in water any more ‘cause the poor fuck doesn’t survive this.
what a way to fucking go: death by fire pussy.
Everyone panics, except Lucita, who's like "fuck this", cuts off her head, puts out the corpse, then, uh. uses it as a shield against the remaining flames. as you do.
(Between that and the above screenshot, there’s graphic descriptions of what, exactly, the fire is doing to the senator, and how said senator doesn’t give a flying fuck that fire is kinda hurty because she hates vampires that fucking much.)
Lucita meets a Nosferatu who offers to guide her from the sewers. On the next page, we have an illustration of Lucita, in sewage, looking up at the Nosferatu.
You couldn’t possibly make that picture sexy, could you?
Welp the artist went “Challenge accepted!”
So I wanted to show you guys the picture but I didn’t want to get too banned from Tumblr for an Eternal Hearts liveblog, so I went to my friends for help. One of them, @intimidatethevoid, answered the call to arms:
Well.
This is awkward.
And so she bestowed upon me this glorious, but also cursed, image:
Yeah.
Her shirt’s somehow come off. And she isn’t wearing any knickers. Hence the Filthy Frank sticker.
And that’s gonna wrap up part 1 of my Eternal Hearts liveblog!
For more, like this post in secret shame so that none of your followers have to see it. To cancel me, send angry anon messages and death threats to my inbox.
#Dusty liveblogs#Eternal Hearts#VTM#rape CW#Eternal Hearts CW#DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT oh my god I can't even#I'm going to regret posting this I just know it but I HAD to#eternal hearts liveblog
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That Night - Pt 2
Request: Hey can I request a jj fic where y/n doesn’t want to do sex/touching stuff with jj because of a past she has. When she gets uncomfortable around it multiple times he thinks she’s not really in love with him or that she’s cheating. At a kegger, topper comes up to y/n when she’s alone and flirts with her and touches her arm. He tries to get her to go some place else but she doesn’t want to. Jj comes in and punches topper and they fight. Topper exposes y/n and says that they already had sex before, but it wasn’t just sex it was rape. Y/n doesn’t want to talk to anyone again, but jj comforts her and says it doesn’t define her.
AN: So I decided to make this into two parts, since it was just going to be wayyy too long as one. I also understand how heavy this topic is, so I am trying to deal with it with as much care as I can. Please let me know what you all think of this one!
Warnings: Sexual Assault, Anxiety, Self Doubt
WC: 1.7K
---
As you and JJ walked up hand in hand, Kie smiled at you. John B passed him a beer and you sat down on a log by the fire. JJ came around to sit next to you, draping his arm lazily across your shoulders. He leaned in and whispered “I love you” in your ear, quietly so the others wouldn't hear, placing a kiss on your temple. You guys had agreed to keep your love to yourselves a little longer, wanting to stay in your bubble as much as you could. John B noticed the affection and gave JJ a look of happiness, knowing his friends had worked everything out.
“So, how is everyone on this fine evening?” John B said, in the worst posh accent you might add. Pope just laughed and took a sip from his cup. “Damn, the energy here is shit, I'm gonna get another drink, Kie, you coming?” He looked over at Kie, and she shot you a look, double checking you were okay with JJ, to which you nodded, silently telling her it was okay to go. She stood up and they walked over to the keg. It was still early, so you assumed that Sarah was running late, as usual, trying to pick out the perfect outfit to make John B’s head spin. You were lost in your brain, and the love you now knew you had for JJ, you didn’t even realize you had spaced out until the sound of JJ and Pope making dumb jokes and laughing brought you back to reality. You were so happy, it was unbelievable. You joined in their conversation, and pretty soon, John B and Kie had returned with new alcohol, making you realize you hadn;t grabbed a drink yet.
“I’m gonna go grab a drink really quick, I just realized I’m the only one left out!” You laughed and began to stand up, but JJ held his hand up.
“I’ll get it, babe, don’t worry” He said.
“JJ, it’s 20 feet away, I got it.” You shook your head and stood up, walking over to the keg. Behind you, you heard Pope and John B teasing JJ, and you could have sworn you heard Pope make a “whipped” sound, which just made you chuckle. You got to the keg and began filling your cup, shaking your head at all the clueless tourons flirting with locals. You were so focused you didn’t even notice that your least favorite kooks were making an appearance behind you.
“Well, well, well Y/N, you clean up pretty nice for a pogue.” Topper whistled from behind you, and you froze. His voice sent chills down your spine. You wanted to play it cool, so you turned around and rolled your eyes.
“Bet you say that to all of them.” You bit back, proud of yourself, and you began walking back to your friends, but you realized JJ had noticed the exchange, and had begun getting up to come over.
“Only the hot ones, which damn, you are.” You felt disgusted at the words, and even worse knowing that JJ was close enough to hear that one. He had a look of rage about him as he walked towards you. “Oh look, your trailer park trash boyfriend here to save the day.” He laughed with his friends, loving making fun of you.
“Yeah, he is. Get the fuck out of here Topper. We told you to stay off the Cut.” JJ seethed through clenched teeth, trying his best to hold back. He knew you hated when he got into fights, especially with kooks. He had enough bruises as it was with his home life, he didn’t need more, you’d told him.
“Hey, tell me JJ, have you fucked her yet? Because let me tell you, she’s pretty goo…” He couldn’t even finish his sentence before JJ lunged at him, punching him in the face. The rest of the kooks joined in, and pretty soon it was 4 on 1. You were frozen. Not only were you completely angry, hurt, and upset that JJ was in a fight, but Topper had just outed your biggest secret. The rest of the pogues heard the commotion, and ran over to see what was happening, only to find JJ being held up by two kooks, Topper and Rafe, taking shots at his face and stomach. You snapped out of it when Pope pulled you away, fear of you getting caught in the crossfire, while Kie screamed and John B ran over to help his friend. You didn’t even realize you were out of Popes grip until you were standing one foot from the fight. You reached out and grabbed at Topper’s arm, yanking him back, your eyes blazing.
“Don’t you ever...say anything like that about me again, or I swear, I will kill you.” You slapped him in the face on the word ever. JJ and John B were completely taken aback, as were you, of your confidence, but this was it. He’d crossed the line and there was no going back. You were fuming.
“Oh, the princess fights back!” He laughed in your face. This was it. You had to say it.
“I know that I didn’t fight back the night you fucking raped me, but I’m not the same girl I was a year ago. Go fuck yourself, Topper.” You spat in his face, a look of absolute shock on everyone watching. You had said it. Rafe looked genuinely surprised, looking at Topper with confusion. Kie covered her mouth with her hand, a gasp escaping, and they guys all were in disbelief. You pushed him away and turned around. You couldn't face any of them after revealing what you did. You heard John B punch Topper in the face and you got further away, and you swore you heard Rafe say something along the lines of “He probably deserved that one” which shocked you even more. By the time you had gotten to the car, you realized you had been crying, and you heard footsteps approaching you from behind. This was the last conversation you wanted to have, but here you were. You turned around.
“Look, I get it if you’re disgusted with me J. I hate myself for letting it happen. I don’t want to talk about it anym…” JJ just grabbed you into a bruising hug, your face smushed in his chest. You began crying harder, and he just shushed you, rubbing your hair soothingly. You don;t know when, but at some point your legs collapsed underneath you, and you both fell to the ground, JJ holding you in his arms, never letting you go. The other pogues weren’t far behind, coming up to you guys and sitting down silently. You finally looked uo, seeing that Sarah had joined the group. She must have shown up in the fight and you didn’t even notice, because she has a look of absolute pity on her face.
“Well now you guys know.” You sniffled. You were mortified.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Pope said, almost a whisper. He had tears running down his face, and blood on his knuckles. Pope had punched out Topper for you. Damn.
“I couldn;t even live with myself for now. I just wanted to forget. Please, just let me forget.” You let out a choked sob and hid your face in JJ’s neck. He just held you tighter. It finally clicked to him, why you hated being touched, why you never wanted to have sex. You had your first time forcibly taken. He clenched his jaw, and John B noticed too, the realization across his face.
“We love you, Y/N. We’re gonna be here for you, through the whole process okay?” Sarah said in the sweetest voice.
“You got us forever, and we got your back. We’re gonna take care of you, okay?” Kie joined in. You pulled your head away from JJ’s neck and smiled at them. You reached your hand out and everyone grabbed it, silent. This was your family, no matter what. You turned back to face JJ, and after letting go from the group, touched his cheek, and his face softened, look in your eyes.
“I love you.” You breathed.
“I love you too, Y/N. Nothing bad will ever happen to you again baby, never. I promise.” You finally believed it.
#jj maybank#jj fanfiction#jj imagine#jj x reader#outerbanks#jj outer banks#outer banks fanfiction#john b routledge#obx x reader#obx jj#obx#John b#kie#pope#topper#jj angst#jj soft#jj
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