The tiny cellar. The door slamming shut. The darkness. Gils claustrophobia. The DRAMA!
For the wildfire one please! ❤️
"Someone! Anyone, please!!"
Thena walked a little more briskly. It had reached her ears so quietly and muffled at first, but there was no mistaking it now. Someone needed help. "Hello?"
"Please, help me!"
She picked her pace up to a light jog, the scenery looking much more familiar now. She kept telling herself she wasn't coming back to Gil's cabin - again - she was just...in the area. Her perimeter routes had changed, that was all.
It wasn't that she missed the place, or the host.
"Someone!"
"Gil?" she called out, looking around for him. She couldn't figure out for the life of her where he was. She walked around the side of the cabin, but he wasn't by the wood pile, or chopping out front. He didn't seem to be inside, based on how she was hearing him.
"Please!"
"Gil, are you okay?!" she shouted back, her heart starting to beat faster. What the hell had happened to him? "Gil!"
"Help!!"
"Gilgamesh!" Thena ran around the other side of the house. There wasn't much over there except the storm cellar door and where the water connection was. He had showed her the water main so that she could help herself to the shower in case he was away and had shut it off.
The doors rattled, being pounded on from the inside.
"Please, please, please!"
"Gil!" Thena shouted back, rushing to pull them open. They weren't locked, but the wood had warped over the course of winter, and now were wedged together in just such a way that made them seem impossible to get open now that they were slotted together.
"Thena, please!"
She slammed her foot on one door and pulled on the other one, stumbling back as it finally cracked open. If she didn't know him so well, it might have been terrifying, seeing someone as large as Gil come tearing up and out of the cellar in that state.
"Thena!"
She tried not to fall over as Gil sank to his knees, wrapping his arms around her and pressing his face into her stomach. He was bawling like a baby, clearly having been hyperventilating in the cellar by himself. She huffed. "Gil."
"Thena, oh thank god, fuck, I-I thought-"
Thena tried a few times to try and pat his head - or something - without feeling weird about it. He was clinging to her like he'd faced down his worst nightmare, which perhaps he had. He wasn't being dramatic, or his big, sensitive self. He wasn't well. "It's okay, Gil."
He screamed into the material of her shirt, his whole body quaking. He was such a bear of a man but he truly seemed fragile, on the verge of crumbling. "I can't...I can't..."
Thena finally gave in, letting her hands fall over him as gently as she could manage. He flinched, and it only made her feel worse for him. But she rubbed his shoulder, ran her fingers through his hair. "I'm here, Gil. You're okay."
He took slower breaths, steadier with each slow inhale. He slowly sank lower until he couldn't even hold onto her anymore, seemingly ready to lie down on the forest floor.
"Gil, hey," she said gently, trying to have more than her usual charisma (lack thereof) with him. She knelt with him, holding his shoulders and making him look at her. "What happened?"
He groaned, his throat raw from screaming for however long he'd been in there. "I-I was checking on some stuff in the cellar. I always have the doors wide open, but they must have gotten blown over, or maybe something wandered by and closed them--I-I dunno."
"Okay," she nearly whispered, nodding and watching him closely. His eyes were bloodshot from crying, but his pupils were responsive. He was no longer gasping for air, his chest no longer heaving. She wouldn't be surprised if he was lightheaded. "It's over now."
He groaned again, rubbing his face. "Ugh, Thena...I'm sorry."
He was apologising?
"I didn't mean to freak out and," he blushed, typical Gil, "throw myself at you like that."
She tilted her head at him, and he looked truly ashamed and remorseful. "You never told me you're claustrophobic."
He shook his head, ruffling his own hair now. He looked like he'd been through hell. "Doesn't come up much, I guess. I don't exactly get put on cave duty that often."
Thena furrowed her brows. She would think that if his phobia was this severe that he wouldn't be put on cave search duty to begin with.
"Thanks for rescuing me," he smiled limply at her as she rocked back on her heels and flopped back on her butt across from him. "Sorry you had to come all this way to do it."
"I was," she shrugged, hoping she seemed casual, "passing by."
Whether he believed her or not, he chuckled and nodded, "well, you really saved me, so..."
Thena sighed, keeping an eye on him. It didn't feel right to just...leave him like this. She inhaled, poking him in the shoulder, "okay, hey, c'mon, get up."
He blinked at her as she pulled herself up and dusted off her grey jeans. "R-Right, you must have to-"
"Get inside, I'll make your disgusting leaf water for you." As soon as she said it she wondered if maybe she could see why she was known as a 'stone cold bitch' at the station.
Gil brightened like a dog being offered a treat. He looked up at her with those big brown eyes of his, "really?"
She turned away from him; he acted like she had asked him to marry her! All she offered was to make him some tea! "Today, Gilgamesh, before I change my mind!"
Maybe she could be a little nicer to the man whose life had flashed before his eyes in his own storm cellar.
But Gil picked himself up, hopping to fall in step beside her. He nudged her shoulder gently with his, "thanks."
She bit the inside of her cheek. He was making such a big deal about it. "Thank me if I make it right."
But even now, her growling did nothing to dissuade him from inviting her in. If anything, when she whipped the door open and stepped in ahead of him, he held the door open over her shoulder. Such a little gentleman (she rolled her eyes).
"Gil," she started while on her way to the kitchen.
"Yeah?" he asked, already kicking off his boots in favour of his sandals.
She lingered by the doorway between the kitchen and the main body of the cabin. "Next time you need something in that cellar...just call me."
"Huh?"
She resisted the urge to press her forehead to the fridge door, feeling her face growing warm. "Just wait for me and I'll do it for you! You don't have to go down there again, is what I'm saying."
She continued on her way, digging out the kind of tea that was his favourite. She didn't know what kind it was, but she supposed she had smelled worse teas. And she knew how to put the kettle on. Maybe she would make herself a single mug of instant coffee with the boiling water while she was here.
"Thanks, Thena."
He was probably smiling that dumb smile that was kind of endearing. And she refused to go out there if he was going to catch her looking flustered over it. He could wait for his stupid leaf water.
This was why she was off search and rescue. Saving just one person made it feel worthwhile to do it again and again.
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I actually lost sleep over merlin last night and i still have a lot of thoughts
i never actually watched the show after the first time through when i was 14. And the impressions i was left with this entire time was: merlin is gay; arthur and gwen are SO cute but i still think merthur is even stronger; morgana's downfall makes me depressed because once they were all friends and then she betrays them all; poor merlin trying his hardest to make the parts of destiny he likes happen and the parts he doesnt like NOT happen, he is literally a tragic hero and for all his efforts, for all his sacrifice and the time he spent closeted, arthur still dies and the ending made me sob for a week
But now that i'm rewatching i feel like i remembered it completely wrong and i feel like a lot of people do too. Yes the ending is tragic and it hits as hard as it did because we've always knownit was going to end like this, they've been telling us since season 1!!
But its also tragic because..merlin is such a damn bootlicker. Its tragic to see him stop fighting for his rights and even stop WANTING to stand up for himself. All he cares about is arthur arthur arthur, and i dont just mean this like he's obsessed in a bad way because he loves kissing the monarchy's ass. ITS BECAUSE MERLIN IS 100% ACTUALLY GENUINELY IN LOVE WITH ARTHUR! And arthur loves him a lot too, just not romantically. ANDTHESE TWO ASPECTS ONLY MAKE MERLIN'S SITUATION ALL THE MORE TRAGIC AND PATHETIC.
For some reason I remembered this show as being so sad because For The Power Of Good, merlin had to sacrifice living openly. When really this show is so sad because Merlin willingly submits and renounces his rights, his fire, his rightful desire for respect for himself and his kind all because he is in love with a man who, if he knew the real him, would have him exiled or even executed
And you know what? There's elements of that same Tragedy Of Bootlicking in gwen and gaius as well. Both have been wrongfully accused and nearly executed by uther (gwen's father was ACTUALLY executed by him) and yet they continue to not only not seek revenge (which fair enought, thats your choice) but they continue to serve under him DIRECTLY at his fucking palace. ?!?!? Logic?!?! Logic where did you go?!?
Gaius has been criticized in the show by other sorcerers for betraying their kind for standing by as they were slaughtered and now working directly for uther. Why?!? Why did gaius do this?!? Honestly, i have to believe it was just fear and cowardice and convenience. His other choice was exile or maybe death and he chose submission. MUCH LIKE MERLIN!!
What about gwen? Why does she stay in camelot after her father is murdered? How can she possibly bear it? Because she is in love with a man who she believes will bring about a new era of prosperity and peace and rights (for servants and the lower class in general). MUCH LIKE MERLIN!! (Except he also wants rights for those with magic)
Morgana is the only bitch i respect around here. She is the only one who says "you know what? Fuck this and fuck you, i will not submit just because i have blind faith in the hope that one day things might be a bit different". Oooo and she is the villain of this tale, i see... just because she refuses to bootlick...
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