Now I’m curious, what breeds are on your list?
✨Golden Retrievers✨
Pomeranians
Samoyeds
Rottweilers
Irish red setters
German Shepherd (I like the black ones)
Rough Collies and Shelties
Great Pyrenees
Bernese Mountain Dogs
Cocker Spaniels
St. Bernards
Borzois
and probably more that I forgot to list!!
These are all dogs that I Especially want to cry when I see them, and that I could see myself loving / being able to meet the particular needs of their breed. I've expanded my Range a little in the two years since I brought Hugo home, since he's taught me a lot about dogs, and I could potentially take care of a baby with very different needs from the ones that he had. I'm still by no means a dog expert but. Yanno. You learn small things over time!
In the end, when I was searching for a dog a few years ago, I had a few qualifications I didn't want to budge on.
I needed a dog that's trainable, but not stubborn, a dog that's gentle and considerate with my cats and my niblings, a dog that's not too reactive, a dog with soft fur, and a dog that is affectionate.
So... Hugo is all of those things!!! He picks up skills quickly and listens (I gotta work on his Recall though), he takes extreme care around the cats and is so careful that he can be left alone with kittens and baby chicks, so being sat on / bothered / tugged on by small kids isn't even a challenge. He has never growled at anyone or anything in Irritation in his life. He's never bared his teeth. He doesn't bark at strangers or at odd noises, he doesn't snap as a response to being surprised. He's extremely pillowy soft, and his fur doesn't irritate my skin or pierce my clothes. He is extremely, extremely sweet and loving, frankly to the point that he would easily fall in love with a new owner if he was kidnapped lmao.
You can maybe see why I like goldens so much.
I got REALLY close to adopting a Pomeranian, which I'll continue to Think About, basically forever... but as someone with a predisposition for migraines, I don't want to set the dog up for failure if I'm not ready to hear bark bark bark bark bark bark bark all day. That's the ONLY downside. Maybe I invest in some noise cancelling headphones? They're beautiful dogs though, I love an animal that looks like a little rat. You ever see one of them after a bath? My god.
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Something that makes reading TOA so devastating is how fucking much Apollo feels about Everything. There’s so MUCH. Like I don’t even know how to describe it to you if you haven’t read the books yourself. He has so many complicated thoughts and emotions about just about everything and he cares about everything so much and there is just SO MUCH going on in his head. And yet none of it ever reaches his mouth!!
He almost never says what he’s feeling. What little comes out of his mouth about his thoughts barely even scratches the surface of what he actually means. Like he’ll be having a long ass monologue about how incredible someone is, showing a deep understanding of them as a person and empathizing with them so hard you’d almost think it’s projection but it’s not he’s legitimately just mind melding with this random person he met like a week ago and he’s thinking the softest, kindest thoughts about them like he knows they’re fucking incredible - and what comes out of his mouth is just like, “you’re a wonderful friend :)” AND ITS LIKE. THERES SO MUCH MORE UNDER THE SURFACE. the sheer admiration and adoration he has for everyone around him……… UGHHH!!! But he never VOICES ANY OF IT!!!!!! He never tells anyone about what Zeus did to him……. He never tells anyone except the reader about his realization that Zeus is abusive…. He never even tells commodus about how much he adored him, not then and not now… he refuses to tell anyone when he’s in pain or tries to justify the things he does when he actually had Decent Reasons for why he did something… I’m. I’M. AUGH. AHHHHH
HE DOESN’T EVEN TELL US ALL OF HIS THOUGHTS IS THE THING. THERES EVEN MORE THAT HE IS NOT TELLING US!!!!! THE FUCKING OCEAN OF FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS HE HAS ABOUT EVERYTHING IS THE CLIFF NOTES VERSION. I AM IN DISTRESS.
And YET…. Even what slips out of his mouth is so fucking devastating it is SO devastating. He’s so fucking kind and gentle with Harley and Meg and and other younger Demis and his kids… he’ll act like an obstinate idiot and then turn around say something that drags the core of the person he’s talking to into the light like nail on the fucking HEAD like he reached into their soul and gave them the words to express something that they were struggling to say aloud or that they didn’t even realize about themself. Around the 2nd book he starts putting voice to some of his feelings and thoughts about others and even that tiny fucking sliver is overwhelming to the people he’s talking to bc he’s SO. AUGHHHH
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hey bestie i'm finally here with that essay about jacob fighting for bella's humanity w/o being a love interest bc the potential that has!
he's set up to be the perfect avenue for it! he's the warmth and sun that she loved from arizona; he's the community and family she could be deeply enmeshed in w/ charlie and billy; he's a childhood friend who grew up (which bella's going to lose the potential to do if she becomes a vampire! and she's going to forget that past!); he's someone who fixes up old damaged cars instead of having perfect ones, and they aren't the *same* but they're still good...he's literally thematically everything best abt being human that bella will lose, AND examples of the negatives she sees in humanity, (all the times she thinks abt how the wolves are fragile in comparison to the vampires)...and it would just be SO fascinating to see that played out w/out the romance. it would honestly be even more powerful! bc baked into smeyer's worldbuilding is that vampires prioritize their romantic partners above everything else and having jacob be the true contrast to that where he's a platonic connection that bella genuinely values equally and she has to think abt how becoming a vampire would cut her off from the potential of connections like that!!! i am thinking so many thoughts
BESTIE thank you as always for dropping the Jacob love in my inbox!
you're so right about Jacob being the perfect avenue to explore Bella's doubt about vampirism! the warmth & family & community & LOVE & acceptance & nostalgia she loves about humanity is all embodied in Jacob's character & in their relationship. she likes hand-me-downs & homemade gifts! she likes acts of service! she likes reckless stunts that remind her of her own fragility & weakness! she likes warm sodas & spaghetti dinners! she likes being reminded that she belongs somewhere! & THIS IS JACOB <3
the fact that their relationship isn't utilized to this end (or any end, really) is my biggest problem with Eclipse. Bella drops little hints in the narrative that she's nervous about becoming a vampire. there are so many opportunities— e.g. when Rose tells her story— for her to reflect on what she's giving up.
in the end, she doesn't sum up the argument in a compelling way & doesn't make her choice in a believable way.
in part because the event that kicks off her grand realization that she's not ready (AKA THE CONFLICT OF HER ENTIRE SERIES ARC) is ...graduation
big life event as a catalyst seems to make sense. but how relevant is it to her narrative? & once it's brought up, we don't we see her digging into why she's nervous. what about saying goodbye makes her not ready? what about getting what she wants terrifies her? what does she need to sort through? what plans does she need to make? we're left to wonder what's running through Bella's mind re: the biggest decision of the series...in a first person narrative. no!!!
Jacob, who embodies all these ideals of her humanity, should be the one to push her to this realization. the climax of her internal conflict should be focused around him: losing him physically/emotionally (or both), & everything he represents. there is so much weight that her relationship with Jacob adds to her choice if she's allowed to love him and Edward unconditionally! as a romantic interest, all Jacob's doing is pushing her away.
(& that's why this whole fucking triangle makes no sense. he loves her so much he remembers her from early childhood. he loves her so much he'll sit there for months & pick up her broken pieces. he loves her so much he'll spend every moment just doing silly little hobbies together. he loves her so much he wants to fight for her humanity "until her heart stops beating" AND EVEN AFTER. but he doesn't love her enough to respect her choices or opinions? he doesn't love her enough to know that by being an asshole, he's pushing her closer to death? imo this is where we see stephie's grubby hands moving pieces. Jacob loves her more than he's in love with her.)
& so, because the "i'm not ready" realization is tied to something Bella doesn't give a shit about, the realization that she is ready is equally empty
what makes her decide she's ready to become a vampire is GUILT & FEAR & ANGUISH. she's "ready" to become a vampire because she feels weak & useless. worse, this realization is not touched on as the event (the training sesh) unfolds. she has this realization OFF-PAGE & then shows up to Edward's proposal like "yeah i'm ready to become a vampire but first i wanna fuck :)"
& we're supposed to buy that? girl, you resolved nothing internally. you didn't show us what changed for you. you're making this decision out of fear instead of out of love. & we're supposed to believe this is what little miss "thoughtful & responsible" wants???
it's such a blatant disregard to all the growth she went through & the relationships she developed. you can't just turn Jacob in a fucking asshole & turn the choice into a non-choice & call it day. Jacob deserves better, Bella deserves better, & the readers deserve better!!
MAKE 👏 EVERYONE 👏 SUFFER👏👏👏
(in the name of love!)
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i'm sure i could make a more coherent post later but do u ever think abt sonic, tails, and eggman and how the three of them are stuck in an endless funhouse mirror maze? do u ever think about how these are two of the most important people in sonics life? how (depending on canon) the only adult in a young hoglets life is also the very man set to destroy it? about how sonic grew up around robotnik? about how he surely must have picked up traits? about how those traits passed down from sonic to his brother? about how sometimes when the thoughts won't stop sonic can't bear to look at all the machines and death rays in tails's workshop because they're just a little too familiar? do you ever think about how sonic is sandwiched between two twisted portraits of himself? about how he looks at tails and sees eggman's drive and about how he looks at eggman and sees tails's ingenuity? about how two of the most important and formative people for sonic to have ever met are lonely geniuses? do you ever think about how tails takes after sonic who takes after eggman?
is it any wonder that miles prower, in a world without sonic, is even more similar to eggman? what with his practicality, pessimism, and lack of loyalty?
is it any wonder that doctor ivo robotnik is the only one to have made the closest thing to a perfect copy of sonic as possible? a copy so perfect it deems sonic, the original, to be a loathsome copy?
know thy enemy. keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
strange, isn't it?
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Uhh Ruel redesigns..? I gotta step up my ability to draw old people.. But let me explain:
I'd usually keep a character like Ruel's nose the same, variety in noses is so beautiful!
But I'm not very comfortable with his characterization as an old big hooked nosed greedy man who is actually rich and works in mines, because those facts together ring me as them being scaringly close to antisemitic tropes.
I am NOT jewish myself, so I might be wrong, plus I don't necesarily think the creators designed him with ill intent-these caricatures have been used so much the general public sees them as harmless without the context of their origin (for example: goblins)
Obviously my take on Ruel would extend from only design: cause greediness is so integral to his story and class (and wife), but I love his character when he's not written as greedy and is important story-wise, so I think he deserves a redesign. This post is already too long, I could probably write his character overhaul in another post, but, basically I'm thinking of a retired heavy metal singer/bounty hunter (but more for the thrill of fighting rather than the pay.. closer to Alibert's bounty hunter era being more for heroism) working as a grumpy (yet a bit goofy once you know him) farmer with interpersonal relationship problems who joins Yugo on his quest and.. Well, the rest is history :) . His headbutting with the tofu brotherhood is rather because he's old and tired and, again, he doesn't really socialize at first.
(also idk what to do about enutrofs in general because of the aforementioned tropes. My Ruel take is an wo12 atheist (aka normal human) who has great longevity and relatively good physical shape cause he was rewarded with that after saving an important eniripsa, or something..)
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