#like 2020 - 2024 . have just been ass . | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

slimeylee · 2 months

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why have these last years fucking sucked ass

#slimey-vents #trigger warning below hi did you drink water today and eat something i hope u did ur so cool and amazing pls get some rest gives u a cookie #please scroll past if uninterested i also dont want u to feel obligated like u have to read n listen to me vent and ramble on abt dumb shit #like 2020 - 2024 . have just been ass .#we're not even halfway into 2024 and it already is just #garbage . like its fucking horrible #i dont see how this year could get . any worse ?? but i wouldnt want to get my hopes up on that itll get better ?#like god what has been happening .#covid came up technoblade got cancer and passed away israel's continuing their mass genocide #and a lot of things have happened in my personal life . such as my mother passing away .#and . its just been so fucking hard ??#i wish i had lasting hope in humanity . but tbh i dont think its ever gonna get any better and that really fucks w me #ive been having suicidal thoughts and ive just been in a very shitty mental state recently #like social media #is honestly the only thing i have to live on #i have honestly boring friends n all my friends dont go to my school . my gf doesnt even go to my school #ive had to switch schools after having a fun time and doing a lot better . the only thing that im holding on by a thread to is social media #all my friends . my fandoms . etc . i talk to through my phone and through here #im so glad to have met everybody that i have on here #im sorry this is getting really long ive started going on a ramble but i just want everyone to know that i love yall /p #i appreciate everybody so much . all my moots and my close friends that ive made not only here but irl as well #and everybody that ive talked to throughout the time we've known each other . i really just want to think that everything will get better #everybody that ive met through my years of social media and school have really changed my life . and idk what i wouldve done #having never met any of them . especially my moots on here that ive grown close to #its just been stressful . but ive strived to get through it all . despite how hard it is #and how desperately i just want to let go from everything #but ending one thing doesnt end any pain it just gives it on to someone else #and i know that im way too pussy to end anything anyways .#but on another note .#please remember that you are amazing . talented . strong . and i appreciate and ily so much . /p

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xcherryerim · 1 month

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SmutMasterlistBy_XCherryerim.com

Lay back, and feast as this website guides you through new and exciting stories

Public’s favorite: 🌟 | Popular: 💕

Billy (Burn 2019)

🌟💕 “Double The Fall, Triple The Pleasure” | wc: 3.6k | Gn!reader

Summary: As you work your shift as a casino host Derek Danforth, the son of the co-owner, decides to begin a round of baccarat with a stranger named Billy. Somehow you end up participating in the game and emerge victorious, causing the two players to owe you financial compensation but, they end up repaying you in another way. (Billy x reader x Derek)

“Intoxicating Admiration” | wc: 2.7k | Gn!reader

Summary: Running from the police, Billy finds himself hiding in a grunge bar, unsure of what to do next. He decides to stay for a little while longer and as he watches your band's performance, He is instantly drawn to you.

Clapton Davis (Detention 2011)

“Forgotten Bond(age)” | wc: 3.7k |Gn!reader

Summary: At a freshman college party, you spot Clapton, the individual whom you used to torment in high school, who promptly initiates a search for you despite your efforts to evade an encounter. However, instead of seeking answers or explanations, he seems to desire something else, as he appears to seek out a more intimate and provocative connection, aiming to submit to your dominance.

this is just a reallyshort clapton x amab reader

Derek Danforth (Beekeeper 2024)

🌟💕 “Double The Fall, Triple The Pleasure” | wc: 3.6k | Gn!reader

Summary: As you work your shift as a casino host Derek Danforth, the son of the co-owner, decides to begin a round of baccarat with a stranger named Billy. Somehow you end up participating in the game and emerge victorious, causing the two players to owe you financial compensation but, they end up repaying you in another way. (Billy x reader x Derek)

“On Your Knees” | wc: 3.2k | Gn!reader

Summary: Once a suspicious source leaked documents of Derek helping his mom get ahead of the presidential election, you are forced into a PR relationship to distract the media from finding the truth. Even if this is all a facade, Derek will prove you’re his.

“Sugar Rush” | wc: 3.3k | Fem afab!reader

Summary: Since the day Derek friends’s introduced you to him as a dealer, he grew obsessed with you but never acted on his feelings until you gave a him a glimpse of hope (combined with the magic powder cough cough)

Josh Futturman (Future Man 2017—2020)

💕 “A Call Away (Help I’m Still Hard!)” | wc: 1.6k | gn!reader

Summary: After taking some pills to have some fun by himself, the harness doesn’t seem to go away so he calls his beloved partner for help.

“New Memories” | wc: 2k

summary: Sleepless Futturman playing with reader’s chest.

🌟”Spilled Drinks” | wc: 2.8k | gn!reader

Summary: After many failed attempts, Josh, Tiger, and Wolf decided to change their perspective and get after the co-owner of the Kronish experiment, hoping it would finally prevent the super-cure from ever happening. Unlucky for Josh, to get after the co-owner, he needed to wear an out-of-the-comfort-zone attire in an unusual bar, where you happen to be.

in other words…

“Josh is undercover as a slutty ass waiter for a mission, he eventually loses sight of the goal and begs you to fuck him while he's still wearing the lingerie. “ — An user said

Mike Schmidt (fnaf movie 2023)

“A Helping Hand” | wc: 2.4 | Gn!reader

Summary: Injured and touch starved Mike, that’s it.

💕 “Chocolate Kisses” | wc: 2.3k | Gn!reader

Summary: After another failed date that makes you feel like you will never find love, you go to your best friend's place (Mike), searching for comfort, but he ends up showing you the love you’ve been craving (and also something big and thick).

💕 “Roommates Conflict” | wc: 3.9k | fem afab!reader

Summary: After fighting with your roommate for a month, you decide to discuss your issues with Mike but, your plans don't go accordingly, and then...Mike finds you stuck on the couch.

⭐️“Strange Fascination” | mini series | gn!reader

Summary of pt. 1: After not seeing you at school to pick up your brother, his mind is flooded with worry. In an excuse to hangout with his sister, Mike drove near your place, observing your every move through the cafe window.

— Want me to write for another Jhutch character? Let me know! (If you send request please be specific as possible with what you want!)

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tomssexdoll · 11 days

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Could you please do tomorrow headcannons like the ones you’ve done for bill recently. 🙏🙏🙏. Love your writing btw- also if you make it can you tag me..

yesss ofc love and ty for the support <3

Relationship headcannons Tom

NSFW MENTIONED!!!!!!!!

2008

You guys first started dating

Brags about you to anyone who will listen

Once you got to know him you realized how much of a softie he really is

He was very confident at first

Spoils you

Quickies behind stage at tours

You love playing with his dreads

Tugging on his braids during sex

2009

Suprised you with the braids

you love them ofc

Loves going on walks with you

Very affectionate

Super protective

Gets jealous easily

Slightly possessive

Hates when you wear skimpy clothing out

Always accompanies you at parties

Will hurt any guy if he has to

Gets you flowers a lot

2010

Takes you on the humanoid tour

Shouts you out in the crowd and brings you up to the stage

Stares at you while he's playing and flirts with you too

Quickie backstage ofc

Loves seeing you in his shirts when you go to sleep

Always gives you his jackets, hoodies, shirts

SUPER flirty

Teases you in public

Leaves hickeys everywhere for everyone to see

Smacks your ass playfully in public

2011

Cuddles are the best

Loves to go to the club with you

Still very protective

Jealousy issues calming down a little

Shows you off in interviews

Talks about you non stop in podcasts

Brings you to practice

Very loving and caring

Will drop everything just to make sure you're ok

Super close, very healthy relationship

2012-2014

Proposes to you finally

The proposal is beautiful, he takes you out to a fancy dinner and he gets the best spot and proposes to you under the stars

Showers you with gifts all the time

Gets you lunch when you're working hard

Loves to give you massages when you're stressed

Learnt how to cook for you

Talking about wanting a family

Cuddes and movies every second night

Partying like there's no tomorrow

Falling pregnant in late 2014 so the baby came after the wedding

2015

The wedding finally happens

The ceremony is beautiful

He smiles like an idiot when he sees you walking down the aisle, crying softly

Does the garter wedding tradition but tries to take your panties off instead

Dances with you sweetly at first

When you get drunk he grinds on you, dancing so sexually

He smashes his lips into yours when the priest declares you husband and wife

also picks you up and spins you around when after the kiss

Can't stop talking about how sexy you were at the wedding

Makes a wedding night sex tape with you LOL

Buying a house together

Baby finally arrives

2016-2019

A lot of renovating

More talks about having a big family

Tom upgrades the nursery

Best father EVER

Spoils you and the kids

Forces Bill to babysit for a couple nights so you guys can spend time together

Sex is amazing and always has been

Still very protective of you and especially your daughter

Fall pregnant again

2020

Find out you're having twins

tom jumps with joy after he finds out

Tells Bill and they are super happy

Tom buys you fresh flowers every week

When he takes the dogs for walks he'll always pick flowers for you

Loves taking your daughter to the park with you even though you're super pregant

Loves you unconditionally

Takes care of you so much during pregnancy and birth

Holds your hand at the hosptal

Sobs and holds the twins in his arms

Loves you for you

Reminds you everyday how beautiful and precious you are

Spoils the kids with junk food when you aren't there

2021-2024

Thinking of another kid

Very happy relationship and super close

Sex is amazing ofc

Buying you flowers every week ofc

Partying here and there

Loves home dates and spending time with you

Some nights he'll fall asleep on your chest

You love playing with his long hair and beard

Beard tickles you when he kisses you

He's careful not to give you carpet burn when eating you out

Loves washing your hair and making you feel relaxed

Runs baths for you to relax after a hard day

He helps with the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc.

Best present giver

Super affectionate

tags: @effy-2000 @itsmealaiah @tomscumdump @20doozers @charliesgoodboy @tomkaulitzloverr @tomscumdoll @syylss @ge-billsgf @ballhair @miyukafujii

#tom kaulitz #tokiohotel #bill kaulitz #georg listing #gustav schäfer #tom kaulitz x reader #tom kaulitz x you #tom kaulitz x y/n #i love tommy #i love tom #tom kaulitz tokio hotel #tom kaulitz smut #tomkaulitzheadcannons #tom kaulitz fluff #fluff #sweet fluff #headcannons #ilovetomkaulitzmybfomg

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ahedderick · 1 month

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Drat

Oh, drat. In late fall of 2019 I was invited to show artwork (for sale) in one of the buildings at a large, lovely retreat center nearby in Pennsylvania. I had known the guy who runs the center for a couple years; he told me that they would handle any sales and send me a check, much like a gallery. In return they got decoration for their extremely plain building, which sounded pretty reasonable. So I accepted, hung the artwork, aaaand then 2020 punched us all in the gut.

The retreat didn't open their doors again for quite a while, and by that point I was ass-deep in alligators with end-of-life care for my father. The guy who had made the original invitation retired, and it took me a while for that issue to come to the top of my "issues to deal with" pile.

Last spring I sent an email to the general address of the organization, just checking in, and got a rather terse response back that they still had the artwork; I could pick it up if I wanted it or it could stay there. Since summer is their busy season, I figured it wouldn't hurt to let it stay there a little while longer. However, at this point in 2024, I thought it would probably be better to go ahead and take the display down.

My husband and I had time to run over there this afternoon, and I called ahead to be sure the building would be open and the Guy in Charge was expecting me. All was fine, until we actually got there and found only four paintings. I knew there had originally been 8 - 10, but I didn't know which ones or exactly how many were missing. Instead of tracking down The Guy (it is a very big area) I came home and looked up my records of what I took down there.

Now I have to write a polite email to Guy and let him know that someone sometime must have moved four paintings (I could see they'd changed some things around in the room and they would have to have moved them to get that big new cabinet in there). Where? Are they now? Sir? and I will send images of the missing ones to jog his memory.

Argh.

#artblr #artists on tumblr #artist

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couldneverhurtusnow · 4 days

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This article in 2020

https://www.thepinknews.com/2020/01/06/andrew-scott-grindr-fleabag-london-date-gay-mailonline/

But now 2024 maybe he is in committed relationship with a Irish hunk

good for him. i’ve heard of him having been on grindr. i don’t really see an issue either way. maybe he was on the app just to hook up. maybe he was there hoping to find a bit more. maybe he was just out of a 19-20 year relationship & doing casual was something that felt right at that time or he was just trying to figure himself out since he had literally gotten out of a relationship that had spanned his late 20’s to late 40’s (that’s a long ass time) — the article doesn’t clarify any of it (there are no quotes from andrew about him sleeping around) & it also doesn’t say anything about him sleeping with his friends like that ask said. i don’t understand what the big hoopla is…? let my man be promiscuous if he wants to (if that’s even the case)?

edit: (also him having done casual, doesn’t mean that he can’t settle down again & be in a committed relationship, if that’s what you’re worried about)

#andrew scott #anon #answered

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elialys · 3 months

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Channeling positive energy for 2024

I have been very listless for at least the last couple of years (if not since 2020 and the whole pandemic mess), resulting in a pretty rough depressive episode that peaked this last November. It's hard to feel motivated to do anything concrete to improve your own life when everything around you is just...bleak. And this world does suck so much, so often, in so many ways.

But then I remember how I innately believe that most people are good, and that I am good, too, and that the one thing that always makes me feel better when I'm low is to do something helpful for someone, or to just be kind if I don't have the spoons for more.

(Putting this big ramble under read more)

I think I've mentioned it here before but I've made the decision to try and get into a new field of work, which involves at least two if not three years of studying. Let me tell you, I'm about to turn 36 in a couple of weeks. It's scary as fuck to do something like this. But this job, if I get into the school I need to get into, will be perfect for me. I'll be helping people who need guidance and compassion basically every day.

The bond I got to build with my students was my absolutely favorite part of teaching, but I got overwhelmed by everything else. I burned myself out in less than four years because I became a workaholic who worked 70 hours a week, never took a breath, tried tried tried, yet never felt like I was doing enough. The pressure was incredible, the 'I have to be around hundreds of people every single day', performing in front of entire classrooms full of kids 6h a day'...it just wore me down. Loved my kiddos to death, loved my science team so much, but then the pandemic hit and I lost a few family members within a few months, and I realized it was time for me to go home after 12 years abroad.

The meanest part of my brain likes to tell me I've spent the last four years being basically a useless human blob, but realistically, I know I wasn't. I had been working my ass off since 2011, when I was in America nannying two young kids all day long then going to school full time at night/weekends, before being hired as a teacher in England for 4 years.

I needed the break, I needed time with my loved ones. I needed to help grieving family members, especially my little sister with ASD, who had to learn to navigate life without her mom, who also developed epilepsy on top of everything else while our father pretended nothing was happening. I needed to spend time with my grandmother, who did so much for me when I was young and who's all alone, now. I'll even go as far as saying I've been working on fixing things with my mother this past year living with her, which was not an easy thing. Still isn't, but it's so much better than it used to be, and she's trying, too.

But I'm ready to get my life "back on track", or at least, to get busier , more proactive, more helpful to others who aren't in my inner circle, because I know that's what I'm good at, and why I'm here.

So, yeah, channeling positive thoughts for 2024. I'm not only going to work on getting into that school in the next few weeks, I also just received an email a couple days ago from an editor I used to work with. She's a writing director somewhere else now, and they need writers for a new webcomic project; she told me she immediately thought of me because they'd always been happy with my work, so I'm going to test for that, too, because why the hell not. Actually getting paid for the stuff I was writing a couple of years ago was the most surreal, rewarding experience of my writer life, and I wouldn't mind that happening again.

I want to give the biggest shoutout to my best friend & other butt cheek, @melusine0811, for helping me navigate those last four years, for always believing in me, and for being so fucking courageous when life is just so damn hard. Lauren, you're the bravest person I know, and forever my Donna Noble.

And because I'm sappy this weekend, awards and all, I'm also sending my thanks to my Australian unicorn, just for existing somewhere out there, for being a role model to me from afar these last thirteen years, for being another perfect example of people persevering no matter what, doing the things they love, while always trying to be kind to others in the process. I don't believe in much, but I believe in karma. You do good deeds, good things will happen to you.

Be kind to each other, my lovelies. Always be kind.

#personal #about me #just putting my thoughts and feelings down #encouraging positivity for myself #and for anyone who needs it ❤️#2024 i'm coming for you

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maylorscardigan · 6 months

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Reputation & TS11.

do you think Taylor will announce or drop Reputation in a few days? Do you think we will see TS 11 soon? I’m curious what your thoughts are with these because there’s been a lot of speculation with it lately. I don’t think she would do 1989 TV dirty like that. Please… thoughts.

*mumbles under breath*

NO.

I do not think we are getting Reputation as an announcement or as a drop this weekend. 1989TV is quite literally her most successful album debut of her career. She is NOT going to disrespect that album by doing that. 1989 TV / SV is her baby. It’s the album that changed her entire career.

So no.

Besides - anyone who truly knows anything about Reputation knows that she is not going to make it obvious. That’s the entire point of Reputation. It’s like the Reputation fans who thought she wasn’t actually going to release 1989 TV and just drop Reputation instead. There are so so so many things that would have gone wrong with that.

SNTV got a short period because when you look at it… while it didn’t have a long Era like Red TV or Fearless TV… it got A LOT. It got a night dedicated to it with the guest appearances and the music video etc. Red and Fearless were released outside of the Eras tour so they got a longer stretch. That being said - she is giving 1989 TV longer.

When she announced 1989 TV she performed “New Years Day” from Reputation and that in itself could be an Easter Egg. If she was going to stick to the 112 day thing then she could announce Reputation on New Years Day and release it for February 16th, 2024. This would give it 46 days of promotion before a release.

Is it possible she just drops Reputation on New Years? No. It’s a Monday. Not to mention a holiday. Logistics nightmare if you ask me.

I am to laugh my ass off if the next album announced is Debut, closing with Reputation towards the end of the tour. Why? It’s exactly something that Taylor would do. Reputation Taylor at least. But I won’t get into my theories as to why I think Debut could be coming next.

As for TS 11…. I don’t see it coming before Eras wraps. The entire concert if designed around her first 10 albums. A LOT would need to be cut and redone to fit a new album into the concert. Not to mention all the work that has already gone into it with the movie and all that. She has a year left of touring with 2024. Two re-records to still get released. She is finishing off the Eras tour with those released then anything going forward will be TS11 and beyond. Releasing TS 11 during Eras would be such a bad business decision. New Albums deserve their own time. Just like Midnights had separate from the tour.

I think fans have become extremely greedy. She dropped two albums in a year with folklore and evermore because there was literally a pandemic going on and she had nothing else to do. Fans want all the re-records on top of each other. They want a new album - all while a world tour is going on. Like… come on guys. She is Taylor Swift, yes. She’s a bit of a super hero. I get it. But she’s still human all the same. Stop demanding so much from her all the time.

Since 2020, we have gotten:

• folklore

• evermore

• fearless tv

• red tv

• midnights

• speak now tv

• 1989 tv.

That is SIX albums. And fans just want more and more and more and more. Other artists… they’ve released one… maybe two if you’re really lucky. Some of released none and are working on one now. You also complain that the sound between 1989 tv and Midnights is too similar but you want TS 11 and Reputation like right now yet if it sounds similar you’ll complain about that… give it a rest and be THANKFUL fans for getting 6 albums in under 3.5 years AND a massive world tour with a three and a half hour show.

Disagree? Cool.

But the vultures need to back off.

((Note: when I say you in the post I do not mean the anonymous directly. I’m speaking about fans in general))

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pomarrillo · 4 months

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pomarrillo art summary 2023 and rambling be upon ye

hello there.........

reused 2020's template for the fourth year in a row bc idgaf !!!!!!!!!!!! also these were hard to fit into this template cuz i did a lot of landscape canvases this year

Hi guys! Year is coming to a close and I don't have it in me to make another piece, so I thought I'd just go ahead and share this now 😁

Ok so hmm... not much to say in comparison to my 2022 one! I definitely feel my sense of color has changed; my color palettes are way more dark and muted in comparison to last years. I also didn't draw as much in general so there's less to compare to... I actually feel like I kinda regressed in rendering and color because of how many breaks I took LOL

Not to say I didn't improve on anything tho!! I just focused more on facial structure than anything for some reason 😭😭

additionally I also didn't hit a lot of goals I made from 2022 either. I feel like a lot of the art I made was mostly self-indulgent without thinking too hard about my technical skills... which I don't think is necessarily bad because I enjoyed making all of these pieces :3 art as a hobby is fun

For 2024 art goals, I'm gonna borrow my 2022 ones: do more interior spaces, dynamic framing, and ofc better anatomy! I also wanna challenge myself to make more original pieces if i ever feel inclined to... Fanart is my favorite thing to make but I gotta learn to pull from my own creativity sometimes lol

Tyvm for supporting me and my art!! 😭😭😭 sorry I don't have much to say this year.... I've been busy my first year of college learning design fundamentals and the commute there has been kicknig my ass SO HARD....... but yk what. fuck it we ball !!!!!!!! I'm just hoping to improve my skills and make more art I'm proud of next year 😆 oh and hopefully get started on making prints, I want something to put on my wall!! anyway I'm rambling TY IF YOU READ, here's to 2024!

#angle chat

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pinehutch · 2 months

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In 2018 I fell down some stairs and severely sprained my right ankle and moderately sprained the left one. Didn't rest long enough . Physio. Recovery took a long time and only ever got me back to maybe 80%? I walked less.

Eleven months later, in 2019, I fell down the same stairs (I was going out to buy some shoes with more ankle support obviously) and severely sprained my left ankle and moderately sprained the right one. More physio, eventually. But I walked less.

Nine months later it was March 2020 and we were in first lockdown for ages. I didn't leave my town at all until the next October. I was afraid of crossing paths with people in parks. My immunocompromised (RA) ass hardly went into the office at all for the better part of three years. I walked less.

Last February, I started a sick leave because my mental health was the worst it's ever been in my life. I spent days and days crying. I had to trick myself into eating with prepared foods and snacks. I slept not at all or, after a change in meds, for 16+ hours per day. Needless to say, I walked very little indeed. I started a gradual return to work in June, half days from home.

Last August, I had a super enormous arthritis flare and my knees, especially the left one but actually both of them, were fucked. I couldn't walk without a crutch or cane for several months, and when I say "walk" I mean "even for just a few feet." I walked less.

I've been diligent with physio this time and I can walk for about five minutes without a cane. But the factors that made me extra sedentary all fall and winter, combined with a desk job, mean that my legs and hip muscles are all fucked up. The piriformis is my enemy. I just got a Charley horse so bad that I yelled; I was lying in bed on my stomach, gently flexing my legs at the knee. This is after massage therapy this afternoon and a muscle relaxer before bed.

So anyway it's actually kind of horrifying to watch yourself become progressively more disabled from the feet up over such a long period of time that you forget what it was like before that. It's worrisome that first ankles then knees and now hips and nothing has recovered all the way.

And the weirdest part is that I'm generally feeling better than I have in well over a year. Which means, I think, that 2024 is the year of. pine's incredibly gradual training montage.

#personal #disability #disordered eating mention #which i am tagging in case someone needs it not because i believe i had any kind of ed. it was just depression and burnout #this is a weird post and boring but also helpful for me so #here it is. void: shouted into #anyway I'm just tired of being in a noticeable amt of pain literally all the time. sometimes it just wears on you a bit #in some ways the recovery of some of ky my ability and mobility snd strength makes the pain worse because of the training montage factor #but bc things are injured and fucked up the rehab process doesn't feel like the good kind of hurt even if it is #anyway. gripes complete!

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eddiemunsonswhxre · 3 months

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where have i been?

an update for those curious.

hey there my loves, long time no see.

i’m not sure how many of you will actually read this or care to see why i haven’t written in over a year now but typing this stuff out helps me process and get back into my groove.

well, today is january 16, 2024. the last thing i posted that was an actual one shot was posted on january 3, 2023. i haven’t written since. 2023 was my worst year yet and caused me to learn a lot about people and myself.

things were going alright in the beginning, i was in my second semester of college and my biggest problem was 2 of my 3 roommates (lived in a quad) hated each other so me and my bestie/3rd roommate had to play mediator and it was exhausting. i started liking a guy and got my hopes up. and i started to get more and more annoyed with school and my living situation every day. i was ecstatic to move out of that room despite hating my hometown. the day of move out, one of my roommates who i thought was someone very close to me blocked me and all of our friends on everything with no explanation but we knew she wasn’t coming back for 23-24.

i like where i grew up for a maximum of a week at a time, after that my depression just kicks my ass and im not having a great time. my plan for the summer was to work my ass off so much so that i wouldn’t have time to think of anything else. that backfired, because a few days after i came home one of my two jobs fell through unexpectedly and my other job was giving me less than half the hours they promised me. i was broke. everyone says it’s so easy to get a job these days because everyone is hiring but i applied to over ten places within a reasonable distance from me and didn’t get a single one. so i spent too much time with myself and that’s not normally a good thing.

to make matters even worse, in june my mom was sentenced to three years in prison for a crime she committed back in 2020. i don’t want to get into too many specifics, but my mom would never harm anyone she just has struggled with addiction. my mom was my constant emotional support, and knowing she was no longer going to be around ripped me to shreds. not even a month later after my mom was shipped off to prison, my dog died. and i know you might think “dogs die all the time it’s a pet.” but my dog was much more than that. she wasn’t even three years old and was a beautiful great pyrenees german shepard mix and she was the sweetest girl ever. i don’t care how ridiculous it sounds, because i know my soul and hers were meant to be together. i was even in the process of registering her as an emotional support animal so i could take her to college with me because she was finally old enough and for the most part out of the puppy phase. but one night out of nowhere she got really sick and within an hour of her showing signs something was wrong she died while i was holding her. not the greatest thing for a 19 year old who’s already struggling to experience. it took my over a month to stop seeing her like that every time i closed my eyes. call me dramatic, but that dog really was a child to me.

after that, i went to stay with my cousin for a few weeks and that was nice but i still knew i wasn’t feeling right. i moved back to school in august and had way too high of hopes that everything would fix itself. surprise, it didn’t. in fact, i just got worse. i reached lows i haven’t hit in over two years. i was having roommate problems, i was trying to do way too much at once, and i was neglecting my health. i had a breakdown.

the highlight of my semester was taking a week off to visit my best friend since age 2 for her birthday (she lives roughly a 2 hour plane ride away from me now) with our other two best friends. then i came back and immediately totaled my car. my car was a piece of shit yes, but it got me places. not having a car when you’re a person who drives around to destress is not fun. i was even worse mentally at this point and i was trying so so hard to get into my overbooked doctor to get my medications raised. the only constant i had were my three friends at school and my studies. so i threw myself into them. i was never alone and if i was i was nose deep in a text book. i was just avoiding the rest of my existence. i was able to get my meds upped and decided i was done wallowing. i started a diet that is actually manageable and enjoyable and discovered for the first time workouts that i actually liked doing. it was something small, but i knew i was turning myself around.

i went home for winter break knowing it was going to be tough. i also had to spend this time looking for a new car. it was an extremely stressful process to say the least. but i focused on myself, taking all the time for myself that i needed and processing everything that had made me get to such a bad place. i’ve always been very spiritual, so i dove more into that as well as trusting the universe.

i’ve decided that 2024 will be my best year yet. i got a new car, im getting a new job, im doing great in school, my mom is getting released from prison literally six hours after i post this, and im taking care of myself in more ways than one. while doing a lot of that reflecting, i remembered how much i used to love to write and how that passion just died after loving it since i was ten. i started small, doing short story exercises and getting into reading again. i finally, after an entire year, have my passion for writing back.

i can’t promise i’ll be consistent with uploads because i’ve decided that my goal for the year is to write a novel. so that project is going to be my main focus and it isn’t anything fanfic related, it’s actually a psychological thriller. more than likely i will be asking for opinions on here throughout the year as well.

with that said, my plans this year for this blog are to keep posting. eddie munson is mainly who i write for, but i want to expand my horizons. i want to challenge myself with genres and types of characters. i will greatly appreciate any requests you can give and i promise i will read through them. if i don’t post them right away, just know it may come out three months later. sometimes inspiration sparks at weird times.

if you’ve read this far, thank you. i hope this can inspire you to see that there’s light at the end of the tunnel but sometimes you’ve gotta dig the extra dirt to it yourself. beyond thankful to anyone who was here a year ago and has come back to read my new stuff- you made an aspiring writer really proud of herself.

much much love

-eddiemunsonswhxre 🤍

#eddiemunsonswhxre #i’m back #mental health is important

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wendytestabrat · 3 months

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why i resonated with stan in “you’re getting old/ass burgers” (FROM THE VAULT [2020])

You’re Getting Old/Ass Burgers has always been one of my favorite South Park episodes because I feel like I’ve always connected to it on so many levels and related to Stan a lot. My favorite part is the end of part 2 (Ass Burgers) after Stan was so depressed and had been seeing shit for so long he came to the realization that he DIDN’T want things to go back to the way they were. He realized he was fine with his parents getting a divorce and Kyle ditching him to go fuck Cartman because it opened his life up to new possibilities of where it could go. In his words he’s all like “I’m gonna make a big left turn” or whatever. The ending is also frustrating tho bc everything ended up going back to normal anyways so we didn’t get to see how that would’ve played out, but we’re not gonna talk about that we’re just gonna talk about the beautiful speech Stan made. That part has always resonated with me so much bc I agree with Stan. I remember at a certain age I just got to a point where I realized that the key to staying happy and optimistic is to stay open-minded and keep trying new things. I think it’s rlly important in life to follow those child-like curiosities you have when you’re a kid, when you’re younger you’re excited about everything and want to know about the whole world and how everything works, and I think it’s good to continue that mindset into adulthood. For me personally, I get really depressed easily if I feel like I’m stuck in one place, following the same routine and doing the same shit over and over, like that’s the point when everything starts to turn to shit to me too. It’s good to add some excitement and spontaneity to your life, and I know it can be hard for a lot of people to get out of their comfort zones, trust me I get this sometimes I can be a stubborn bitch and I only wanna stay in the same lane doing the same thing over and over, but trying new things and embracing change is what builds character. Sometimes life can seem scary, especially when you’re young and you don’t have everything figured out, but the truth is life just gets easier the more and more you challenge yourself to get out of your comfort zone and try things, it makes you more fearless. The more you can gain knowledge and wisdom about different aspects of life the easier you have it figured out, and this all comes with allowing yourself to get excited about new things, expanding your interests and having an open-mind. And when I say trying something new it can be big or small. It can just simply be deciding to learn about something new each day, deciding to read a new book, watching a tv show or a movie you’ve never seen before, starting a new hobby, meeting new people (I know this one is a bad example bc everyone is social distancing LMAOO), for me I really love discovering new songs and listening to artists I haven’t heard before. I mean the risk that goes into trying something new is that maybe you won’t like it and sometimes we can have that mindset where we’re like “this is gonna suck” so we don’t even bother, but you never know until you try, and you can still have an opinion on something you don’t like too. (I can’t count how many times I’ve suffered watching something awful I could not care about but I did it anyways out of curiosity. Also NEVER form an opinion on something you know nothing about or shit on something you know nothing about or else you sound ignorant.) But open-mindedness and being able to adapt to change and trying new things is really the key to staying well-rounded and happy and fulfilled. Having a lot of interests also makes it a lot easier to be able to talk to a lot of different people about different things and make real fulfilling connections. So yeah to me, what Stan said was actually very wise and I agree with him because it’s kind of been my go-to philosophy on life.

update 2024: i’m starting to realize now that my constant need for stimulation and new experience is prob just my sociopathicness FFHJDJSJS bc i get bored of shit way quicker now than i did before

#i’m a motivational speaker #me > tony robbins #south park #stan marsh

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poisonousquinzel · 4 months

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sorry but if you think Biden is better than Trump and we have vote for him Again on the sole basis that he is not Trump, then at this point you're either ridiculously naive or you just don't care about the over 20k Palestinians who've been slaughtered by Israel with American funding and American weapons at Biden's continued approval since Oct 7. If you don't see their murders as clear enough evidence and proof that Biden is and has never been better than Trump then you need to get help. Or about the unjustifiable attacks carried out by America and the UK against Yemen for daring to take a stand against the genocide being committed in Palestine. That is not something of Trump's doing (tho it is something he would endorse i have no doubt), it is Biden, the current sitting President.

every single drop of blood shed in Palestine and Yemen will stain the hands of these politicians for the rest of eternity.

Neither Trump or Biden is a viable option and neither Should be an option.

if Trump wins in 2024 we're fucked.

if Biden wins in 2024 we're fucked.

those are the only options those parties are endorsing anymore. you don't get to be mad at folks who voted for Biden (for dems) because he was not Trump in 2020 who refuse to vote for his lying racist, genocide supporting ass again. the overwhelming majority that voted for him did so solely on the reason that he was not Trump.

He has went above and beyond proving that he is no better.

we did want the dems wanted, we gave them the presidency and they've fucked us for it. just like republicans.

all of them are corrupt, all of them are greedy corporate sell outs who 99% of cannot even do the bare minimum and utter the phase ceasefire. none of them have Any of our interests in mind.

and if they don't give a shit about the population they're suppose to be serving, then we should stop fucking voting for them and prove to them that they will lose support based on their heinous actions.

continuing to blindly vote for war criminals under the guise that they're better than this other war criminal is not going to better this world.

it is not going to improve the disastrous situations anywhere. the only ones profiting off these monsters being in power are those commiting war crimes, colonizing lands with funds given to them by the leaders "free world" and the wealthy elite like Elon and Bezo who's greed they protect.

Trump would be doing the exact same shit Biden is because they're both monsters. they both support genocide.

there is no lesser evil if both are deserving the lowest pits of hell.

#''oh but what about tr*mp being friends with epstein that makes b*den better!''#yeah well b*den is Also a creepy freak towards kids almost like they All suck and All deserve ************#shocker #if you put democrats and republicans in a ven diagram it would be a circle #not dc #id rather cut off a finger than vote for either of those disgusting losers

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hawks-anon · 4 months

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happy end of 2023, and a new 2024. by now i learned that all years cannot be particularly ‘good’ or ‘bad’. there will always exist happy moments, good moments, likewise, there will always be rough patches, moments where you want nothing but to lay down and be run over or pull your hair out of your scalp or run your eyeballs dry or cry into the mountains for a hope and an echo would reply in solidarity.

when people gather around wishing happy new years, the hope of a ‘happy new year’ is awfully similar to the hope of redoing something perfectly after tearing up your previous paper to shreds.

the exception would be that i hate the idea of that analogy now, i’d rather much live with my mistakes and be better in my next page.

for 2024, i’ll be a little greedier, actually. i want to have everything, so i can give it to my wife, so i can paint a smile on her face in the harder days. i want tomorrow to be a day where i wake up and see her face glow with restfulness and sleep. i want to be able to make her feel heard, inspired, loved. because god knows she has been that for me. my inspiration since day one, and my strength for until i take my last breath.

and i want to stop being an ass, even unknowingly, i can’t stand when i make her upset. so please 2024, spare me an extra few braincells. or i swear i will skin myself alive and wallow in self pity.

to my one love, i loved you in 2020, i loved you in 2021, i loved you in 2022, i loved you in 2023, and i will love you in 2024, and continue to love you until the year when i would be destined to die.

so heres to the glint in your eyes, heres to your toothy smile, and the cute gap in your teeth, heres to your pretty nose, and the way you squint and try to stare me down when you’re angry at me, here’s to your lips, when they curl, when they form a line or when they pout so cutely i just want to drop everything and kiss you. heres to little you, and big you, heres to happy you, and anxious you, and sad you, and angry you, heres to every emotion in between. heres to your parents for making you who you are, heres to your brother, heres for everyone —friend and foe— who passed you and made you who you are today.

heres to everything that you are.

and heres to our little family.

i love you, and i wish there was a better way to convey more of how i feel for you other than to describe it as being like a cardiac or respiratory problem and the only medicine would be you by my side, forever.

@keigotakamiz

#hawks speaking~#hawks bnha #happy new year #happy new years

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josiebelladonna · 6 months

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i’ve been thinking about this for a few weeks now.

i think i’m going to take 2024 off from here. i think it’ll just be on main (i.e., my art blog nuagederose as well as feverinfeveroutfic and my healing blog theghostandthehealer will all remain active): i throw it out there every now and again (read: whenever tumblr introduces a garbage new feature), but i really think i’m going to commit to it.

i hate the overall attitude on here now, people on here acting like they’re better than everyone who doesn’t have a tumblr, you and your precious ~mutuals~. i remember the rampant irony about it all around here in 2013-2015, but everyone is so deadly serious now and it honestly sucks, like… give me something fun, anything, PLEASE. y’all are KILLING ME. and… you know. i’m not jewish. but the antisemitism around here is honestly flooring to me—it’s kind of what i get for lurking around jumblr, but it’s interesting to see what we non-jews don’t: it makes you go, “oh. OH. really? well, i’ll be damned, i’ll take your word for it, unknown friend.” in my opinion, after reading about israel and palestine some 6 or 7 times, you can’t be like “happy hanukkah” and then turn around and say you want to see israel destroyed, like… no. say “it’s complex and nuanced” all you want, it not only doesn’t make it any more true, but… if you ask me, it actually isn’t. i don’t want to be around a place filled with people who talk out of both sides of their mouths, be it about the jews, the palestinians, ukraine, animals, art, or really… anything. the takes on here honestly suck, like there’s no substance to any discussion and i can’t tell you the last time i saw a take that really made me think. and worse? none of it would be half as bad if no one prided themselves in this. why do you think we’re failing as a society (aside from everything around us failing as well)? i’m surrounded by idiots—mean idiots, too, like so many of you are almost bullies about it—and you guys are doing bupkis to save yourselves.

i can’t go through any tag anymore without seeing stranger things (which i kind of hate now), our flag means death (which i LOVE, but i’ll see it in a tag about autumn and i’m like why), good omens (which i don’t get the appeal of), or supernatural (which… i’m sorry. i have never understood the appeal of this show—whereas i adore sherlock and doctor who, so rest your sphincters, ghosts of superwholock). the only tags that don’t have those four are the lower tier thrash tags, any tags about food or baking, and pokemon if you can believe that: seriously, not even the cartoon tags are safe. the thrash tags are quieter than a graveyard, i have no idea what to do with food porn, and fuuuuck, it’s been a while, pokemon, should we catch up? it’s exhausting.

kinktober this year killed kinktober for me. congrats, nickybloodhead, i hope you’re satisfied with yourself as everyone has inexplicably kissed your ass and disregarded someone who’s actually kinky and made her feel so terrible about herself that she deleted her collection and wrote a horror story instead. i hope you’re happy, you now have blood on your hands.

my weight loss is bringing forth some really intense feelings (look no further than goretober; i made those drawings right as i was starting to lose), and i’ve said this before, too: i know i’m not welcome here or on ao3, anyway. i know no one likes me. i’ll just finish my wips and go, and you won’t ever have to see me again.

i have no idea what 2024 holds, anyway—and i’m a little wary of leap years now, especially after the last three have been particularly brutal. 2020, the infamous year of disease, fire, riots, and a boring white girl who clowned me and pretty much killed my career; 2016 was one loss after another and the never-ending election cycle hyped to the moon that did not end well; and 2012 was just a lonely year for me. 2024 could be the year that finally takes me out for all i know.

so… i think it’s just best to be away from the main channel and stay down low for the year. i’ll still be on instagram (badmotorartist) and *gasp* threads (badmotorartist as well), and like i said, the side blogs will be active still.

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c0rpseductor · 2 months

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i think of all the things that stick in my craw about lore olympus the Most one is the stupid fucking way it handles virginity and the gorgeously “I GOT A CALLOUT POST” backpedal throwaway bit it adds in later. truly it’s so….

like. for personal background i read the first leg of LO in i think 2020? i didn’t have nearly as discerning of taste as i do in 2024, and on top of that i was dealing with a lot of like, trauma memories coming back about sexual assault. i really wanted something nice and brainless to take my attention off my horrible life and decided to read LO. the arc about assault did not deter me because i thought there would be some kind of cathartic payoff. i promise all this is relevant.

anyway, one of the big stupid plot points in the first leg of the comic was like, persephone wouldn’t tell anybody she’d been assaulted by apollo (for obvious reasons), but eros finds out she’s not a virgin anymore through his metaphysical Virginity Sensing Powers and is like Hey what about your eternal maiden scholarship you can only get if you’re a virgin forever??? and she’s like ummm haha! and it’s all kind of mind bendingly offensive. my personal state is kind of relevant bc at the TIME this did not register to me, since it was already how i thought about myself. i just kind of accepted the idea that virginity could be a metaphysical observable status that could be taken away and that you could be punished for not having, so i was like, “yeah this reflects my experience” <- unhealthy

eventually a long time later, i think once the comic started up again after a hiatus, i went to catch up and decided to reread it from the beginning. and because i had gotten further in recovery THEN i was like Wait a minute….this is kind of an insanely horrific thing to reify…..and then of course the whole rest of everything else fell apart. like pulling on that one thread when I wasn’t in such a state of self loathing and duress made me see that the whole comic was actually godawful, and not even good for brainless entertainment OR catharsis the way i’d hoped when i was at rock bottom.

what REALLY makes me hate it is the backtracking. later on persephone has been in therapy for a while (YES. LOL.) and mentions to hades like “Actually um i don’t HAVE to not consider myself a virgin bc my therapist (FUCKING LOL!!!!) explained that it’s just a construct and assault doesn’t count anyway.” which is better but still doesn’t really scratch the surface and also doesn’t matter anyway because

HOW. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE WITH THE FACT THAT ANOTHER CHARACTER COULD FIGURE OUT WHETHER OR NOT SHE WAS A VIRGIN LIKE IT WAS A FUCKING BLOOD TEST????? it was so stupid it was the most blatant ass-covering i’d ever seen it made me want to tear rachel smythe to bits with my teeth

it’s not that i think it’s inappropriate for a survivor of rape in fiction to not consider themselves a virgin and then change their mind later, or to not consider themselves a virgin EVER and be critical of the idea of virginity and the expectations placed in the categories of Virgin and Not Virgin to begin with (this is where i’m at irl). it’s that the author clearly did not have such a criticism of virginity in mind to begin with and seemed to have no problem with the idea that loss of virginity is an ontological change to your physical and metaphysical being that can be done due to assault. That’s like. insane? it’s horrible. and she just tried to cover her ass about it with like one throwaway line rather than give any of that incredibly thorny topic justice (not that i want to see her try! but you know). absolute worst thing I could’ve picked to stare at for cheap fluffies during The Childhood Rape Trauma Spiral Of 2020-2021

#rape ment #csa ment

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strayfriend · 2 years

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I have too many pets. Here they are all in one place.

(no the newest cat has not been added yet)

Steven Tiberius Beans. God's perfect little animal except that he needs to be walked at least twice a week or he'll scream and try to run out the door. Born July 2017. Made of morning sunbeams and cinnamon. Extremely touchable tummy. Captain of the debate team. Once very clearly yelled "fuck you" at me but in his defense I said it to him first.

Eggs Benedict (Bennifer, Bimby, Bindle etc) cannot contain his emotions. Big happy, big scared, little baby legs. Muzzle trained and sedated for your safety. Plays the toddler xylophone. Feigns stupidity to manipulate others, has an absurd sense of humor. Built like a beanie baby but would bite a toddler over a squeaky toy. Born November 2019 (highly inbred and has major pandemic puppy problems).

Seeker (Dreamsend Dream Seeker) was rehomed to me from sheer dumb luck Fall of 2020 because the universe knew we were meant to be together. His manner of grumbling resembles a human speech pattern with a stutter. Sweet sensitive perfect creature. Can summon small localized breezes specifically to blow his hair around and occasionally dream walks to visit his friends. Born August 2014.

Susuwatari (Susu, Soup, Soupy) is a former bottlefed foster that my sister couldn't let go of, so she gave him to one of my partners. Buddies with Benny. Cuddly. Gets protective of little fuzzy pompom toys. Says Eeeeh instead of meow. Born and adopted sometime in 2020. If anyone opens the fridge while he's in the kitchen he grabs their ass and yells until he is given spinach. This is known as Soup and Salad time.

Sully (Suliman) was dumped at my clinic with a bunch of other young cats. I was fostering him but failed almost immediately. He thinks everyone should love him despite the fact his favorite hobby is causing problems. He knows exactly how cute his face is and will make baby eyes at you after affectionately biting your nose (hard!)

Former kitties Aris and Kiwi (tagged Kwee or kweecat) may come up from time to time but were humanely euthanized due to poor quality of life from unmanageable arthritis and worsening kidney failure.

Miyoko left the physical plane in 2024 but I'm leaving her blurb as it was when she was with me.

I think Miyoko is an animated pile of dust, fur, abandoned birdnest bits, and dryer lint that an irresponsible enchanter left in a Whole Foods parking lot. Completely delusional, told me she is a lost ruler of the fae because she has minor residual magical abilities. Not a fold, scar tissue rumpled her ears after untreated infection. Chooses violence. Adopted early 2020. Thinks Seeker is her best friend but he just ignores her because he knows she is unstable. Flings curses over perceived slights. Tread carefully. Maybe she IS fae I don't really know.

And finally, Cakepop was a very sick 2-3 week old kitten I found in 2017 and bottlefed. He passed away from Panleukopenia between 9-10 weeks old. It's hard to find my posts of him because my tagging then was very inconsistent. My heart is still pretty broken about losing him.

#steve beans #eggs benedict the dog #miyoko kitty #dreamsend dream seeker #susuwatari tag #sullycat

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