"And Mrs. Earwig," said Mistress Weatherwax, her voice sinking to a growl, "Mrs. Earwig tells her girls it's about cosmic balances and stars and circles and colors and wands and...and toys, nothing but toys!" She sniffed. "Oh, I daresay that's all very well as decoration, somethin' nice to look at while you're workin', somethin' for show, but the start and finish, the start and finish, is helpin' people when life is on the edge. Even people you don't like. Stars is easy, people is hard."

She stopped talking. It was several seconds before birds began to sing again.

"Anyway, that's what I think," she added in the tones of someone who suspects that she might have gone just a bit further than she meant to.

Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky

Sarah "Granny" Aching vs. Letice Earwig

Sarah "Granny" Aching

Sarah "Granny" Aching (née Grizzel) would never have called herself a witch. She was a shepherd; she took care of sheep, and the Chalk where they grazed, and others who lived there, including the Nac Mac Feegle. While she was alive, shepherds would seek out Granny Aching to get help for sick sheep. After her death, they sometimes used to leave packets of Jolly Sailor tobacco where her hut used to be, with a wish. The Feegles dealt with the tobacco end of the business (after allowing a decent period for her to take it if she wished). 

Letice Earwig

Mrs. Earwig (pronounced "Ah-widge") is an arrogant, snobbish witch. She is married to a retired wizard Dr Earwig, and is of the kind of witches who read books, and has even written several books on "magik". Her last, and only, trainee was Annagramma Hawkin. Although she does use practical folk wisdom as a witch, she also tends to use crystals, jewelry and other items considered useless by witches of Esmeralda Weatherwax's tradition. (Not that Granny doesn't recognise the uses of Boffo, but you don't have to go believing it yourself.) Her complete self-absorption does come in handy; she is shown to be completely immune to Elven Glamour, which leverages human self-doubt. With Letice, there's nowhere for such a lever to gain a purchase.

based on this poll…

From "The Sea and Little Fishes"

(A deputation has come to see Granny Weatherwax on the subject of the upcoming "Witches Trials". Not that sort of trial, but an annual tradition where witches get together to demonstrate their abilities in the spirit of.. ahem... "good natured" competition and entertainment)

"On the subject of witchcraft," said Letice, with the born chairwoman's touch for the enforced segue, "I thought I might raise with you the question of your participation in the Trials." "Yes?" "Do you … ah … don't you think it is unfair to other people that you win every year?" Granny Weatherwax looked down at the floor and then up at the ceiling. "No," she said, eventually. "I'm better'n them." "You don't think it is a little dispiriting for the other contestants?" Once again, the floor to ceiling search. "No," said Granny. "But they start off knowing they're not going to win." "So do I." "Oh, no, you surely -" "I meant that I start off knowing they're not goin' to win, too," said Granny witheringly. "And they ought to start off knowing I'm not going to win. No wonder they lose, if they ain't getting their minds right." "It does rather dash their enthusiasm." Granny looked genuinely puzzled. "What's wrong with 'em striving to come second?" she said.

Monday morning procrastination comic with an unfortunately dry pen. A silly Wild West AU for The Sea and Little Fishes. Three panels in and all is quickly spiraling towards crack.

(Ooops, I uploaded it on the wrong blog! Here's the right one. Everybody hush about my actual main blog.)

#Inktober Ego. Mrs. Letice Earwig (pronounced "Ah-widge"), by all accounts inside her own head, was the greatest living witch. Why? Just count the jewelry, the crystals, the runes, and her unusually tall witch hat. All very witchy, indeed. In fact, it's a wonder one broomstick can carry so much ego. #InktoberEgo #Inktober2022 #Discworld #SirTerryPratchett #TiffanyAching https://www.instagram.com/p/CkPIX2uJd3V/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Thought: Letice Earwig's and Diamanda Tockley's actual problem is that they're lashing out at the wrong people. Their actual problem is that they're more cut out for wizardry than witchcraft. It's absolutely fine that they want to dress up in fancy robes and spend all their time doing magic instead of being the community social worker and midwife, but they shouldn't lash out at the people who DO want to do that stuff!

Exactly this! If they wanna be glittery and magical and kinda snobby, that's not a bad thing, that's just a wizard thing!

But they're stuck trying to prove that it's the superior form of witchcraft... which is very silly, honestly. It doesn't work well in the context of helping townspeople, which really irritates the "wise-woman herbalist" witches. It's just not the job they know how to do. Both sides end up devaluing each other, and because they're both on the village witches' turf in terms of what kind of work is needed, they're the ones who seem in the right.

Tiffany actually notes this at one point: "it's not Annagramma's fault she was taught magic instead of witchcraft." It's a large part of why she decides to help.

Nanny’s heart sank at the sight of the third witch, and it wasn’t because Letice Earwig was a bad woman.  Quite the reverse, in fact.  She was considered to be decent, well-meaning and kind, at least to less-aggressive animals and the cleaner sort of children.  And she would always do you a good turn.  The trouble was, though, that she would do you a good turn for your own good even if a good turn wasn’t what was good for you.  You ended up mentally turned the other way, and that wasn’t good.

Terry Pratchett, “The Sea and Little Fishes” (A Blink of the Screen) (Mrs Earwig’s first appearance, and it seems that although Nanny dislikes her, she doesn’t despise her quite as much as she does by the time of Tiffany’s books.  I have the feeling that I’m about to read the reason for that downslope in an already low opinion.  

Also, try saying the last three sentences fast!)

Every time you talk I hear that sound that plays when Pacman dies.

Granny Weatherwax (to Letice Earwig)

The Witches Tournament!

Round 1 Masterpost

(minus the Big Wukwuks: Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg, Magrat Garlick, Agnes Perdita Nitt, and Tiffany Aching)

Round 1 pitches the following bad (and good!) witches against each other:

Lily "Lilith the Tempscire" Weatherwax vs. Lucy "Diamanda" Tockley

Desiderata Hollow vs. Geoffrey Swivel

Sarah "Granny" Aching vs. Letice Earwig

Evadne Cake vs. Anagramma Hawkin

Eumenides Treason vs. Hilta Goatfounder

Perspicacia Tick vs. Letitia Keepsake

Miss Level vs. Petulia Gristle

Erzulie Gogol vs. Eunice Proust

A reminder who all these good (and bad!) witches are is included in each post! These texts are taken from the L-Space wiki, with some editing by yours truly.

Evadne Cake vs. Anagramma Hawkin

Evadne Cake

Mrs. Evadne Cake is a psychic medium, verging on small. She volunteers at all temples that she can find, taking over miscellaneous housekeeping duties and performing them so efficiently that soon no one else does them anymore. Unfortunately, sooner or later she invariably falls out with the priests (because she converses with the dead) and ends up leaving the temples in a mess because now nobody else knows how to do the housekeeping anymore. For this, Mrs. Cake is dreaded by all priests and priestesses across the continents, as far as the Lost Jewelled Temple of Offler, in Klatch, and maybe farther. Besides conversing with the dead, Mrs. Cake also has the ability to turn on or turn off her precognition, a very useful tool while walking the dangerous streets of Ankh-Morpork, but premonitions also make her conversation with normal people very confusing, because she tends to reply to a question right before it has been asked. Yet, if she has replied and then the person decides not to ask the question, she gets a terrible headache.

Anagramma Hawkin

A trainee witch of Letice Earwig. She has a tendency to boss other people around, and becomes the "leader" of the coven of apprentice witches of which Tiffany Aching is part. She takes over the cottage of Miss Treason, at which she turns out to be rather inadequate until Tiffany and the other apprentice coven members help her out. Annagramma receives a crash-course in all the things that Mrs Earwig didn't teach her, which when added to her natural strengths (she does have them) helps her to make a success of herself as a witch - despite Mrs. Earwig, not because of her.

"Do you ... ah ... don't you think it is unfair to other people that you win every year?" [Asked Letice Earwig] Granny Weatherwax looked down at the floor and then up at the ceiling. "No," she said, eventually. "I'm better'n them." "You don't think it is a little dispiriting for the other contestants?" Once again, the floor to ceiling search. "No," said Granny. "But they start off knowing they're not going to win." "So do I." "Oh, no, you surely -" "I meant that I start off knowing they're not goin' to win, too," said Granny witheringly. "And they ought to start off knowing I'm not going to win. No wonder they lose, if they ain't getting their minds right." "It does rather dash their enthusiasm." Granny looked genuinely puzzled. "What's wrong with 'em striving to come second?" she said.

The Sea and Little Fishes - Sir Terry Pratchett