#let jimmy be smol
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For the ranchers a bit more shleep i just really like charakters comfy and nice:Dc /nf
Eepies. Jimmy woke up to really sore wings but its okay because Tango
#(I cannot imagine avians sleeping on their backs lest they have special mattresses or something but hnng. For the domestic fluff...)#team rancher#rancher duo#solidaritek#I imagine Tango is not nearly as much of a ray of sunshine in the mornings as Jimmy is. Jimmy finds it endearing though 100%#I also imagine Tango moves the hell around in his sleep and tangles them both up with his tail#He's gonna try to apologize a thousand times for “making you sleep on your back” but Jimmy won't let him#ALSO what does /nf mean lol. Every other day I see another new tone indicator that I cant figure out the meaning of#please feel free to use brackets to circumvent my stupidity. I do not know the hip things... I am but a boomer noobie#trafficshipping#trafficblr#I have so many other rancher asks in my inbox that could fall under this#Rancher cuddles and smol Tango and this and that hhrr but I will... I will get to them... in time....#never enough rancher content#also laying on someone when they laugh so their chest bounces up and down etc. Oh it makes me weak. Not that I know what its like lol#but it feels cute...#tubby art
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Who would you like to see on BFQOTY that has never made an appearance before?
okay i always take these kinds of asks too seriously but pls bare with me!!
when it comes to panel shows there is a spectrum of preparation: on the far left is a show like mock the week, where literally everything apart from a very smol amount of relevant banter is pre-prepared by the panel (they're given the news stories & scenes we'd like to see ahead of time, the standup categories are chosen around their pre-written bits, and so on); and on the other end of that spectrum is a show like big fat quiz, where the only thing you really prepare is potentially a team name. so — to answer this question i'm thinking about people who are very willing and very good at joining in, people who will comfortably banter with jimmy, people who don't always wait their turn to speak (which works better on a show like, say, 8 out of 10 cats). obviously jimmy throws to each team whilst the teams' answers are being revealed, but for the show to really succeed you need a lot more chat and goofing around and camaraderie than that — so who are some of these confident, friendly, funny people?
well let's get this out of the way we need victoria on bfq right? it helps a lot she's irl pals with jimmy so their dynamic is very comfy and she would probably have so much to say about the news or even admonishing the amount of tiktok-related questions LMAO it's great to imagine her with david but also what about team victoria and lee mack?? THE PEOPLE NEED TO SEE IT
nicola coughlan, graham norton, alan cumming, catherine tate (omg catherine and lee...please GOD...), huge davies, get me a doctor let's go jodie whittaker baybay or our man ncuti, would love to see some drag queens like miss lawrence chaney and the viv of course but there are sooo many amazing uk drag stars, kathy burke, ed gamble, morgana robinson, maggie aderin-pocock
get me my man. joe wilkinson. put him with roisin and one white onion
fuck it go big or go home: jennifer saunders and joanna lumley, fry and laurie(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), tennant and sheen (or tennant and tennant frankly georgia ily), the mighty boosh???
wildcard answer jordan north and william hanson? is that just me? i know jordan has done celeb juice a few times and he was great but i also know in my soul william would be fucking good on a panel show, and their friendship is too sweet
cheating but i'd love to see guz khan back on but with a different partner? i fockin love sarah but strategically speaking for lulz imo that year i think it should have ben judi & guz and sarah & jonathan. i understand wanting to change it up and give us new kinds of teams but i don't think those were the people to do it with. also bring back charlie brooker i have charlie brooker withdrawals........ (charlie on wilty in a couple weeks!!! ahhh!!!)
i'd love to see so many people!!! okay i am done with the longest response ever (do you guys ever read these like 'girl just answer the question')! what about you?? who do you want?
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hi uh. It’s 2 am, I got back from my side job two hours ago, I was planning on sleeping early BUT 🌸🐚🌹 was on some conspiracy thingies has me up, and telling about which characters like what kinda of people depending on cannon ships and our favourite ships(I love/p her but please…) So while I’m sleeping, she’s writing this with my ideas thrown in.
SCOTT pulls blonde men.
3rd life obvi flower husbands
Last life flower husbands(hinted), (one sided for now)mean gills, (one sided for now)Tango/Scott(WHATS THEIR SHIP NAME???) (-🌺🪸🥀)
Double life really hits Scott hard cause he could’ve at least flirted with Jim but now that he can’t he’s sulking. Flower husbands, (hinted) flower ranchers(-🌺🪸🥀)
Limited life I think we all know the mean gills(Martyn totally had a crush on Scott the whole time but now that he could he immediately tries to get closer to him), Flower ranchers(angst cause flower husbands angst, and Jimmy totally cried to Tango about how he messed up -🌺🪸🥀)
JIMMY pulls teal haired men.
Scott obvi, ESMP2 Scott let his demons out and flirted worth every man in a 279.58 mile radius
decked out Tango(that has him being icy like ESMP1 Scott) came through the portal and they were definitely flirting. Can’t tell me other wise.
MARTYN pulls non humans
3rd life, him and Ren were something else(they totally fucked at least once.) Ren? Werewolf.
Last life, him and Mumbo were definitely flirting. Mumbo Jumbo? Definitely a vampire, just a very awkward and kinda “UUUUHHHHH- what’s was I meant to do to get blood again?” Vibe(auto correct calls him Jumbo Jumbo)(-🌺🪸🥀)
Double life, Martyn was trying to win back Cleo. Cleo? A zombie.
Limited life, MEAN GILLS FOR LIFE BABY!(They mean very much to) Scott? Definitely a mermaid or siren. Which ever has sharper teeth. (-🌺🪸🥀)
TANGO, we aren’t sure what he pulls cause we’re still learning about how to write the hermits so we take them one at a time to ensure we know how they act and what makes them them. We haven’t reach tango yet so like- help us out?
-written by 🌸🐚🌹, storyline ideas by 🌺🪸🥀!! Okie byie!!
SO TRUE FOR SCOTT (he is like, all my comfort characters are blonde, i got a thing for blondes💀) but IDK- I dont think they have a ship name, id imagine something like majortango cuz thatd be super silly
Martyn do be pulling all the nonhuman LMAO
TANGO- tango gets all the "smol beans" for a lack of better term
cuz ykno, we got Jimmy whos just so sad in the life games LOL always dying first and trying his hardest to appear tough
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VOTE FOR JOEL
Reasons:
1. He is an absolute loser and a pathetic meow meow
In season 2 he is so insecure that he goes out of his way to make lore in order to make it cannon that he is tall and sexy. His own wife refuses to be his lawyer because she knows he will lose.
Going off the last sentence, in last life, whenever joel interacts with lizzie she always talks about how incompetent he is before and afterwards. In the one scene where she flirts with him, he has the most awkward and uncool respince possible. She votes for him to die first and profits off it. He dies 4 times in the second episode and looses all his friends (only had one to begin with).
In afterlife when Joel has objectively the best origin in the game, he needs an umbrella to walk in the rain. He dies in his second origin because he accidently walks off a cliff. When he has the supposedly "cool" origin (iceling) he falls into a cauldron by accident.
(Have not wached x life yet)
2. Joel is also a total whore
He sleeps with sausage in like the third episode of empires s2. He and his worst-enemy-turned-friend Jimmy fuck barely 2 episodes after they become friends. His wife is a ten foot tall axolotl hybrid who could absolutely step on him and he would let her.
In the first few episodes of double life he takes as little damage as possible and tries to stay out of trouble on green and yellow despite his soulmate going to the deep dark and spawning the warden, all while building a lovely and flammable home.
Joel also flirts with Jimmy in empires s1 and somehow asking Jimmy to be his best man is more romantic than a marriage proposal to his own wife?? He has bi wife energy.
3. He is absolutely unhinged and chaotic
In third life, he tames a wolf army and sicks them on absolutly everyone. It is also believed that one of the life series 'curses' is that the player that tames the most wolves is the most unhinged.
When he goes red life in LL, he tries to get kills on absolutly everyone possible, he also has no hesition when lying to his teammate when he is the boogeyman. He goes on a killing spree with grian at the end, it's even said by Scott that dying of "natural causes" included dying at joel and grians hands.
During double life, as soon as the ship burns he immediately starts burning everything and goes on another killing spree. Also, the first thing he does after dying a second time is killing someone with zero hesitation.
He starts a whole religion and goes on a whole villan arc because of a fucking donkey. A fucking donkey.
Now this is not physically, emotionally, or even that visibly unhinged, but. Let's rember that this is the guy who spent like over twenty hours worth of building in Jimmy's empire for the purpose of 'it would be funny'. It is literally insane. On that topic, all his bases are also absolutly insane, one could say, unhinged.
4. Do it for...
Vote joel, for he derves to win the mcyt sexyman bracket. And if this has convinced you that he is too pathetic to vote for, then do it for his son hermes. Hermes is too precious for this world and his other dad sadly got out of the competition yesterday. Do it for the smol armor stand demigod lore child. Or do it for donkey Jeremy, idk.
Shoutout to @infamousvamp , who inspired this post, I tried to add more stuff and make difference points, but you should check out https://at.tumblr.com/infamousvamp/vote-joel-smallishbeans-for-mcytblr-sexyman-2023/ngx5hduweccw , the original. In the end though, it really dosnt matter, as we all would like joel smallishbeans to with this competition, or at least this round. Hopefully this has either influenced your vote or reminded you how pathetic joel is. Vote here at https://at.tumblr.com/mcytblrsexymen/round-four/kprd9e10zjmp
#guys pls let joel win#it took like 40 minutes to type this on a phone#smallishbeans#joel smallishbeans#mcyt sexyman#mcyt sexyman poll#polls#mcyt#fox fails tasks#fox fails writing
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Another grian liveblog! i really enjoyed the last on i did so here’s another :)
(this ended being really long I’m so sorry)
grians merch! go check it out! I bought one and I’m very excited for it to come
HE DID IT my boy pressed the record button I’m so proud of him
I love the little yell of happiness he did away from the mic after he said that
Hermitopia!!
thank god he’s addressing the whole “grrr im being forced to watch another series thing”
THE HERMITS ON HOLIDAY BUT THE CAR BROKE DOWN OR SOMETHING IS SO PERFECT OH MY GOD
THE STORY THE LORE
the hermits have been busy busy busy
poor grians the leader of all this
return of the grian empire, but he learned how to share and collaborate with others
he’s visiting Katherine!!
aww he didn’t actually interact with her :(
OLI AND HIS LUTE ELYTRA I CANT
oh no the rocket shortage begins
that’s,, a lot of scaffolding
like,,, a lot a lot of scaffolding
but it looks cool from a distance!!
built height empire,,, but they’re all tiny
I like it, picasso
bouncing villagers!
aww noooooo pls don’t crash the empires economy I like their barter and trade system
they’re getting gunpowder from jimmys place
apparently this whole storyline was fabricated just so grian could get on this server and annoy timmy
oh poor impulse has been left behind bc he don’t got no wings
ah. he has taken a stack of jimmys gunpowder. he know owes???? timmy
they’re going to joeys instead now
but before they leave tumble town they’re placing an intelligence test,,, in the form of a button on top of tnt,,, with a sign saying press me,,, in an empire where jimmy and scar are hanging out,,,
oh no
grian feels bad for impulse, and now they’re walking together
grian has found joeys gator villager
he is confused
he has found the pesky bird villager!
THE LAG JOKE
OH NO THE LAG,, JOEYS GUNPOWDER LAGGED INTOHIS INVENTORY
grians elytra broke, oh how the turn tables
impulse left grian
impulse grian and cub are now chatting about the AWFUL LAG ON THE SERVER OH NOOOO
THE RETURN OF TAG??
oh no they’re playing tag on the empires server
LORE VILLAGERS
grian that’s respiration. not unbreaking
LORESICALS??
oh no grian you let the villagers out
AVADAKALORE I CANT
WINGARDIUM LEVILORESA
STUPIFILORE
EXPECTO PALOREM
EXPELLILOREMAS
ALOHOLOREMA
he spent so much time yelling lore spells he forgot which enchant he was trying to get
unbreaking loresome???
these puns are giving me AHA flashbacks
HE GOT UNBREAKING III
kdbdjfjf you can hear impulse underground cheering
I love seeing all the hermits work on the same thing all at once this is incredible
ooh visit to pix
he’s using pix’s machine to age his copper
he gets to press a button!!
poor guy is worried about breaking David
there’s a sheep trying to eat his waffle
oop he’s borrowing fwhips sign style
building timelapse of a hermit induction machine and tag look at him go!
hermitssss stop bringing your lag to other servers!!
GRIAN WHAT WERE THOSE SOUNDS
scar snuck up on him
they’re messing with the lasso jimmy gave scar
I like the idea of the worlds largest bubble
clearly there was a mishap in communication rip scar
ooooh scar becoming the first hermit!
hermitgeddon??
awww he’s little!!!
just a tad smol
“IM A LITTLE BOY WHY AM I A LITTLE BOY”
oh poor fwhip saw things he shouldn’t have
awww little grian!!
they’re bdubs!!
imagine being smaller than a goblin lol
THEYRE SHORT KINGS
all the hermits have been busy busy bees
ok ik it’s shocking they’ve done all of this so fast but I have to keep reminding myself that this is at least 10-13 people working on hermitopia at around the same times ofc it’s going to be pretty quick
but it’s just still so immpressive
it’s cubs turn to be hermitified
THE JANGLER HAT??
hermits vs empires tag oooh
go watch grians vid for the full tag explanation, bc if I’m completely honest, I don’t really get it
grian is a hermit irl??
episode ends with grian laughing about his irl height rip
and that’s a wrap! these are so much fun to make :)
Idk how often I’ll do these but I might do them for sausage bc he uploads at normal times for me it’s nearly 3am I might pass out after uploading this lmao
#grian#hermitcraft#empires smp#empires smp season two#empires x hermitcraft#liveblogging#links liveblogging#i kinda love making these#might start doing them for sausage#hermitblr
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SIDE BLOGS INFO
@wackyinflatablearmtubeman - Small Sign spinner who is just trying his best to hold down a job despite having horrible luck doing so.
@king-vortigern-pendragon - Legend Of The Sword Rp blog for Vortigern Pendragon
@somanydumbwaystodie - Airheaded idiot cop who is cursed to die in horrible ways and can never find peace.
@brain-over-brawn - Tiny Alien Brain who is trying to disguise as a human to study them and learn how to take over the world with his boss.
@running-on-co2 - Once turned science experiment now the worlds greatest robotic assassin.
@chalk-it-up-to-fate - Well known Artist who traps people in a fake world of his own creation due to envy of the people in the human / real world.
@in-heaven-everything-is-fine - Eraserhead baby Au blog from the movie Eraserhead.
@twists-and-turns-of-fate - Demon muse that wants revenge on one man and seeks out a way to destroy him and the clones that he has created as well as others he sees as threats
@heartbrokenwhispers - Yandere muse blog for a man trying to find love but who keeps having horrible luck doing so.
@the-dukes-archives - Dark souls Rp blog for Seath the scaleless and other muses from that fandom.
@ceaseless-chaos - Prince of Chaos who is cursed to be in pain all his life and only find comfort in his own siblings corpse that he thinks still watches him.
@the-monster-of-scotland - NESSIE!
@lordseekerlucius - Lucius Corin blog / Envy from Dragon Age Inquisition.
@you-reap-what-you-sow - Harold blog from Scary Stories to tell in the Dark series.
@run-run-as-fast-as-u-can - Smol tiny baker trying his best with a cursed magic oven that can make baked goods come to life.
@rise-up-like-glitter-and-gold- Elden Ring Multi Muse blog for my tarnished and my OC Rune.
@the-galaxy-is-on-orions-belt - Small Alien Prince tasked with keeping the world safe from destruction.
@bee-my-queen - Bumblebee OC that made a human appearance hive to go out and try to date and find a new queen.
@deathisjustthebeginning - Elden Ring OC for a man who was once human now cursed to spread death after he tried to cheat it and became a horrible disfigured monster in the process now having to hide behind a fake human mask of his own design.
@the-king-of-villains - King of all villains who learned to steal powers from other villains to become stronger
@ill-met-by-m00nlight - WEREWOLF SWEET BABY :D
@atlas-jericho-carmichael - Atlas Carmichael blog from UA
@squirming-evil - Oogie from TNBC
@bright-and-clever-no-matter-watt - OC blog for the smartest inventor ever.
@bloodline-rewritten - intravenous System OC Muse
@klaus-the-hessian - Dullahan muse
@pastor-of-vows - Miriel from Elden Ring
@all-the-kings-horses-and-men - Soldier that was sent 200 years in the future due to being in a coma after getting injured.
@of-direwolves-and-broken-things - Elden Ring legless baby and his pet direwolf.
@wouldyoustillloveme - Librarian baby who has trouble finding love out of fear of being abandoned / hated
@let-your-dreams-flood-in - Sloth Demon from DAO
@wooden-lies- Pinocchio Au / OC blog
@lord-jab-desilijic-tiure - Jabba the hutt muse
@let-your-evil-shine - Grigori Rasputin from Anastasia blog
@who-can-take-the-sunrise - Literal Chocolatier
@dont-trust-a-thing - Alien shapeshifter :D
@villainsthatliveinmyhead- Gabriel / Madison blog from Malignant
@lord-of-the-dead-aidoneus - Hades from Disney's Hercules
@ruler-of-artisans - Toasty from Spyro
@the-first-murderer - Cain aka the first murderer
@another-1-bites-the-dust - Smol Robot Janitor
@hit-me-one-time-hit-me-twice - Hexxus from Ferngully
@culex-headquarters - Group of assassins that track people Via blood.
@within-a-sea-of-stars - Sea Star OC
@go-ahead-make-your-choice - Imshael / Choice Spirit
@ask-randall-boggs - Randall from monsters inc
@audacity-reigns - Humanized Dagger that chooses those who are worthy
@devourer-of-the-gods - Aldrich from Dark Souls 3
@unfinished-calamity - Calamitous from Jimmy Neutron
@killing-is-mere-childs-play - Charles Lee Ray
@as-luck-may-have-it - Good Luck Charm muse
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Heads Up Seven Up!
Because I've actually kinda been doing some writing! I know, it's pretty wild to me, too!
Gonna make this a doubleheader cuz these lines amuse me, so thank you for the tags, @andromedaexist and @autumnalwalker! I'll pass it along with soft tags to @daisywords, @mjjune, @on-noon, and @smol-feralgremlin, as well as keeping it an open tag for anyone!
This excerpt is from the unnamed sequel to my unnamed WIP (still doesn't have a name!)
“I already told Don no.” Jimmy sounded bored. “This could’ve been done over the phone. This was done over the phone.”
“Oh yeah, but he couldn’t show you these over the phone.” Reaching into her thick coat, Lana pulled out a white envelope.
“Pictures?” Jimmy asked.
She opened it up to pull one out and hand it over. “Don said you might not want these to be found by your mama.”
“You handed me a single picture.”
“There’s more in the envelope, Jimmy,” she said as though he was an idiot.
“Show me.”
“No, you only get to see enough to let you know the threat is real.”
“Lana,” he said, fighting back annoyance to be patient. “It’s dark out here. I’m pretty sure this hotel has cameras. How am I supposed to be threatened if I don’t know what’s in the pictures? I think there’s a dog in this one, but it’s not a dog I’m familiar with.”
“It’s your brother.”
“I’m not related to any dogs.”
#heads up seven up#heads up 7 up#tag game#writer games#open tag#open to everyone#my writing#yavs writing#unnamed wip#unnamed sequel to unnamed wip
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Seeing Kix in concert (part 2): what happened AFTER
Cherry and I hugged and agreed to meet out back again
I met the photographer that was onstage afterwards and I felt even more like a fraud bc I know nothing about cameras or anything at all and he's the one who showed me the shot of the band that I'm in
I waited out back for maybe 15 minutes before Bob came out and I feel so bad for being part of this annoying small crowd of fans just slowly closing in on him
he kept trying to have a cigarette and every time he picked it back up someone else came up to him and he had to put it down again
I get so caught up in trying to be polite to famous ppl that I just end up being 20 times more awkward
every time I said "that's so cool" or "you guys are so awesome" i died a little more inside bc I didn't know what else to say
I asked Bob to sign my setlist (he did) and we took a photo and he pressed his head against mine and I know ppl do that but it makes me swoon every time
Steve came out next and I ascended
the artists' exit leads to a very small fenced in lot behind the venue and Steve came out to load his stuff into his car and everyone just OMINOUSLY gravitated toward the fence bc the car he was at was right by the fence
nO ONE WAS SAYING ANYTHING SO I BROKE THE SILENCE BY GOING "we love you, Steve" and he went "love is good : )"
someone asked him to sign this huge poster they got about 2 dozen other signatures on and he said sure and went to the gate and stops and goes "now how do I get out of here..."
I said "you can't leave"
I was SO AWKWARD I WANNA PUNCH MYSELF IN THE MOUTH
he was about to leave and i was right next to him internally like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWAIT becuase I AM SO AWKWArd i diDN'T KNOW WHEN TO SPEAK UP WITHOUT SEEMING RUDE
he was taking a picture with someone and went "why does everyone smile in photos? let's do a glum one" and when I tell you i couldn't breathe I could not breathe just watching him take these pictures with ppl and they're all going :C in them I was dying
and then he was like "nah let's do an angry one" and he's flipping the camera off with them
he referred to markers as "singing thingies"
every time someone complimented him on the show or thanked him for coming back he would go "it's my job!" and at one point I just went "well you're pretty damn good at your job!" and he stopped mid sentence and quietly said thank you to me
REALIZING NOW THAT I SHOULD'VE SAID 'YOU'RE WELCOME' HE WOULD'VE LOVED THSAT *bangs head off my toilet tank*
it was around this time where he said "you know I was just kidding about the shits, right" AND I WAS GONNA TELL HIM ABOUT HOW I FOUND OUT ABOUT JIMMY HAVING COVID BUT PPL KEPT TALKING
I got him to sign my setlist also and take an angry photo with me (I flipped off the camera but he didn't tho and for like 1.5 very tense seconds I was waiting for him to do the same)
he went back in and Jimmy came out
was anyone gonna tell me Jimmy is smol and cute like I'm taller than him he's so smol
I got Jimmy to sign my setlist and take a photo too
Brian came out last and I got to talk with him the most
this weird southern guy kept asking him about getting Kix on the bill for the stadium tour and I could tell Brian was like e_e
Brian agreed with me when I said that gigs like this one are more fun
we were ABOUT to shake hands right before we left but then this stupid mf guy interrupted and I was left hanging it was horrible I wanted to strangle him
we looked at Brian's turquoise ring up close with him and I flashed back to Ace pressed up against me at the same location showing me his own jewelry uwu
we moved and they opened up the gate and Steve began backing his (red) car out of the lot and it was funny to watch him do it ngl I think Jimmy was in the car with him idk? someone else was in the car with him I wish I yelled bye to him I think I waved and he waved at everyone
I watched him drive away like a normal person in a normal car and I was like c': there he goes; up, up, and away
Mark didn't come out >:| I wanted to meet that sonofabitch
I was screaming in the car like an Elvis fan again while driving down the hill out of the parking lot, similar to the time I met Ace
this was also the shortest show I've ever been to? It was only an hour and a half but it felt longer, like the show literally ended at 9:30 and I was home before midnight it was WEIRD
#anyway did I tell yall about the time i met kix#concert#concerts#concert log#kix#kix band#that's my last concert for this year :( as far as I know anyway#i have no more planned atm
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Leave her. ALONE!!!! Let her be short and be cute
Jimmy needs to be. Woobified (is that what it’s called I’m dumb and can’t spell :3) ITS HOW SHE GETS HIS DAILY NUTRITION
-🎸 (I sometimes love fics that like. Make her seem more innocent. INFANTILISE THAT GIRL NEOWWW)
Jimmy is a smol bean
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Hi I'm trying to sleep and I just imagined the kind of huge warm hugs Hopper would give and I 🥺💖😭💖🥺💖😭💖
#he is 6'3" and CHUBBY and i LOVE IT 💖💖💖💖💖#I JUST WANT SOME CUDDLES FROM MY BIG SWEET MARSHMALLOW THATS ALL 🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖🥺#im so smol i think if i curl up ill fit against his chest 🥺🥺🥺🥺 god plz jimmy just hold me super tight and never let go#💜: where have all the good men gone#ruby rambles
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Aight Peter Maximoff stans, I want to point out some plot holes and unanswered questions about "Ralph Bohner"
WandaVision Spoilers:
(I am in currently listening to Sweet Dreams/80s music while writing this very drunk, determined and in immense denial. 😁🤘)
(Pls read, my drunk smol brain worked hard on dis 😘👉👈)
Ralphs name. Why doesn't Ralph Bohner have a hex name and a real name? Unless "Pietro" was essentially his hex name. But I truly believe that Wanda unintentionally or otherwise wouldn't name some random civilian "Pietro", right? Like how Sarah was named Dottie at random, wouldn't that be the case for Ralph also? From what was shown it made it out to seem he's called Ralph Bohner in and out of the hex.
From episode 1-5 Agatha spoke about Ralph like he was her husband for some reason. Why did he only appear in episode 5 if she had Ralph under her control to use to her benefit from the very beginning? It's just odd.
Agatha's abilities. Agataha had shown Wanda that can perform illusions(like how she turned a bug into a bird). So... why didn't she make Ralph look like Wandas brother if she can make illusions? Especially after going through the trouble of picking a guy that acts nothing like Wandas brother and giving him powers? Agathas power scale confuses me so much.
Why did Wanda recognize Ralph Bohner when he showed up at her door? The explanation "Cause magic" would feel so cheap. I seriously don't understand this. Wanda despite her fragile mindset would be like, "Who are you? You don't look like my brother. You don't act like him. He's dead(Wanda definitely knows that internally.) The only thing you both have in common is the superpowers. Y'all move fast." Now if it was Peter Maximoff from another universe I'd assume that Wanda can sense he's her sort-of brother but not really. Almost like somethings a little off....at least that's what I thought, but nope. He's a random person apparently, so there isn't that instinctual connection. So then why the recognition at all?
The alarm. In episode 5 right when Ralph appears at Wandas door some random ass alarm goes off at Swords base outside the hex. Why?? Peter Maximoff fans and myself thought that was him possibly entering the hex somehow. But apparently not...so what was that exactly?? Of course that was never explained.
Ralphs superspeed. So, y'all telling me that Agatha had not only forcibly put a necklace on Ralph to control him to be her "eyes and ears" BUT ALSO gave him LITERAL superpowers?? All of that is completely glossed over. Mf at Marvel will probably say, "Cause Magic" smh.
Jimmys missing guy. There's unfortunately a lot to debunk this theory, but I could still see it being a possibility. Jimmy along with Monica and Darcy all saw the TV when Ralph was on it, but Jimmy never said a word. An interesting point though is the fact that this witness protection person was never brought up again, which is really fucking weird. More shit left unanswered. Could it be "Ralph"? We don't know.
The house. Ralph Bohner is supposedly a struggling actor. At least that's the explanation many have said is the reason as to why he has a random headshot of himself laying about his man cave. But then how does he live in that big ass family home? Plus that house ain't actually Agathas, she came into WestView looking for Wanda to find answers about the hex. That wasn't originally her house. With Ralph looking like the broke ass himbo he is...how could he afford to live there if he supposedly lived as a civilian in that town to begin with??? Make this make sense lol.
Ralph chuckled at his name. Aight aight I know this is a stretch, but hear me out; If you had a dumbass name that sounded weird, you'd probably be used to people making fun of it or saying it wrong, right? You'd maybe even get tired of hearing the silly name your entire life. But when Monica said Ralphs name, he chuckled like one would at their silly fake name and not their real name. That's at least how my dumbass would react to someone saying a funny name I choose for myself. And honestly "Ralph Bohner" truly sounds like a name that Peter would choose lol. Unless WandaVisions writing team said, "Evan, we want you to laugh at your name like you've never heard anyone pronounce Bohner like Boner before." Or maybe Ralph didn't know his own name because he was under Agathas control still...or something.
Why "Ralph Bohner"? K so lets just say we all accept that they stunt casted Evan Peters and he is and always will be a nobody named Ralph Bohner. Marvel knew- no, knows that fans of Evan Peters Quicksilver and the X-Men would get hyped up bout him when they made that glorious reveal in episode 5. So they really dragged that expectation out for 3 weeks, to leave it off on a dick joke? Nah, Marvel/Disney can't be that stupid right?....right?
They gave us some hope and hefty amount of evidence(that isn't listed all here) that Ralph could be Peter Maximoff because of some Multiverse shenanigans....
But then they left it like...this?
Tis very strange of Marvel to think people wouldn't notice how they kinda, sorta baited fans if left like this.
I literally had no crazy theories for this entire show, everything Marvel I take with stride with almost zero expectations...then my boy Evan Peters showed up and my ass finally had some hope to see my comfort character make an appearance in the MCU...which ironically ended in a dick joke. The universe said, "Nah fam, you can't hope for shit lol 🤡"
Anyways, I'd like if this could give some evidence to those still willing to believe that Ralph Bohner is Peter Maximoff. With so many unanswered questions and plot holes with his character, it just feels wrong for him to be nobody...y'know?
Also I'm sorry if this gives you false hope lol.
Love y'all, Peter Maximoff stans are sweet as heck. 💕
#evan peters#peter maximoff#ralph bohner#quicksilver#pietro maximoff#fietro#wanda vision#wandavision spoilers#wandavision#agatha harkness#wanda maximoff#scarlet witch#marvel comics#marvel studios#mcu#xmen#x men#marvel#disney#jimmy woo#darcy lewis#monica rambeau
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Elder Council:
Aphmau - She could be a forest spirit or a fae. Orrr my personal favorite since I’m assuming we’re using the MCD Aphmau she could be a normal human that was given magiks.
XD - Since he is probably going to be either Dream’s brother/father or something he should be an elder demon
Herobrine - I would like to make him related to Eret probably either his father or brother sooo prob fae(also he could totally be the one of the reasons faes are seen on bad light)
Lizzie - Mer - Blue axolotl - she was the first to figure out that Tommy is human. I believe that mers can be anything from the ocean so it fits(maybe we could make her related to Sally or Niki?) Also could be current or past ruler of the ocean empire
Scott - Elf - He could be either the current or past Elf king.
FWIP - One of his occupations is alchemist so we are going with that.( I’m pretty sure he falls into some sort of witch category soo)
GeminiTay(Gem) - Wizard one of the rae humans in the world. Though at this point she can’t exactly be considered a human anymore. After spending literal centuries in the magic realm(+from her profession) her body has absorbed so much magic that just like Tommy ended up as something else. The only human thing left is her appearance. Just like Lizzie she was able to know that he was human but stayed quiet for unknown reasons.
Joey - Ihavenoideahelp
Katherine - Fae - She can either be the current or old ruler of spring court.
Mythical Sausage - He is a warlock so I think that works
Pearl - Probably something similar to Aphmau but I’m not sure
Pix - I don’t know
Shubble - Gnome - Wolf spirit - you chose
Joel - human - he isn’t part of the council but I think we should mention him :) also he smol
Jimmy - Ancient ocean dueler - cod - Maybe another ruler of the sea? Like lizzie
Also not everyone has to be in the council
but I thought everyone should be included and then decide who should go and who should stay.
I haven’t watched many perspectives of the empires so most information I got was from the wiki.
I think most elders would be past rulers some may have kept their position until now.
Aphmau: I have no idea what an MCD is!! I'll have to look it up!! But? Wizard Aphmau, perhaps?? Or whatever you think the equivalent of MCD!Aphmau is?
XD: Sounds good! Dream can be his younger brother! Maybe XD's some sort of Eldritch Demon? He's technically probably powerful enough to rule himself(and at one time did), but he'd rather mess with people and hang out with George.
Herobrine: I think we had this as Eret's original true name, but them being a brother could be cool too! Hmm...maybe twins?? They split the name between them, until Eret's changes, but Herobrine's didn't, instead just taking on the entire name for himself. Take that as you will.
Lizzie: Very good, very good! And hey, why not both? We already have Niki of the Glow Squid, so now we can have Sally of the Salmon! As for Lizzie and all the other rulers, I'm going to say that for the most part, they're past rulers. But every now and then there's a successor crisis, and they end up back on the throne for a bit.
Scott: He's an ice elf, maybe? Or just elf in general. Elf/spirit, if we want to tie in Aeor somehow? Either still ruling, or just the one who ends up back on the throne the most.
Fwhip: I mean, if we want to have him as twins with Gem, he can be in a similar situation to her? Oh, or maybe he's the reason she delved into magic, and became what she did? Alchemist/witch!Fwhip, for the win!
Gem: I like that! When someone asks her why she didn't say Tommy was human, she likes to give a cryptic answer-usually something about letting time take it's course-but honestly, she and the other former humans just like to take bets on this sort of thing. You'd think after three or four times, supernaturals would be a bit more willing to go 'maybe they're just human', but nope! 'How Long Does It Take Them To Get It Right' is one of Gem's favorite guessing games, closely followed by 'Who's original guess comes closest when they stop being human'.
Joey: Jungle spirit? One of those creatures that guards tombs? God? One of whatever he calls his cat villagers?
Katherine: We love to see it! She can be on the throne, as a treat. And also because the Overgrowth(shard of Mother Nature, long story), is a bit finicky, and it's hard to find someone besides her who it'll listen to.
Sausage: Good enough for me! Does that also make him human, or would that be like Fwhip's situation? Do we need to start a category for this stuff? Warlock under Witch-would Witch be the broad term for natural magic users, thus automatically making them non-human, or?
Pearl: Harvest god, perhaps? Ancient summer fae?
Pix: Immortal prophet? Former human like Gem? One of Mumza's angels?
Shubble: Hey, we can have both? Spirits take whatever form they choose, and anything can become a spirit. Or we could have them seperate, who knows?
Joel: He's an honorary member, because Lizzie lets him tag along sometimes to judge people's life choices.
Jimmy: Ooh, works for me. Both he and Lizzie are probably just a tiny bit Eldritch themselves. Maybe they split it, when they're on the throne. Lizzie takes care of salt-water affairs, and Jimmy deals with fresh water.
As for who's on the council, hm. Okay, so we've got Aphmau, and XD for short. Potentially Herobrine, depending on what we want to do with that. I feel like Lizzie and Jimmy kinda share a spot? They switch though, and just share details later. Scott and Gem, I'm thinking, along with Katherine. And Pearl too. Maybe some others, I don't know.
How should the council be set up? Specific people who are there for certain reasons? People representing each supernatural species/area/side? Leaning towards the latter, just because there'd be fewer, but if we want to expand, then we probably want the former.
What do you think?
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fictional men i will give up my rights and bark for: an annotated list
Fred Weasley: he’s my future fucking husband and is...Fred Weasley. This is all I need to explain. Actually, no I will continue to simp, he’s a god and I love him and I would let him run me over with a bus. And push me off a cliff. And stab me with a clarinet or something quirky and cute like that.
Poe Dameron - I love my Fred Weasley but fifteen years older space Latino he makes me so haPPY
Falcon: I WILL- FUCK YALL better HEAR ME WHEN I say this man...this KING...he’s perfect. Shut up. Drink in his perfect soul pLS
James Potter: PLEASE HE IS THE OG HP MAN I SIMPED FOR PLEASE HE IS PERFECTION IN A BOTTLE HE HAS GLASSES AND PROTECTS WOMEN AND IM WIWJWJJSKSKSS
George Weasley: I love him so much he is a himbo angel and if you hurt my best friend I will shank you in the boobs and I have no issues-
Charlie Dalton: Fred in a different and probably cursive font, he’s the only man under 6’0 that I would let rail me date me
Finnick Odair: Fred in a different font except he’s shirtless more often and is more petty and hateful
Kyle Spencer: PLEASE THIS ANGEL HE IS SUCH A PERFECT LITTLE BEAN AND I WILL HISS IF YOU HURT THIS ABSOLUTE JOY OF A MAN
Jimmy Darling: he is a classic little golden retriever but like make him sassy, we all know a Jimmy that do be a chivalrous lil bean
Percy Jackson: ...he’s a water boy and i love him mwah. Our himbo baby. Our golden retriever smol angel.
Sokka oftheWaterTribe: I will lay down my life for our Inuit king PLEASE WHEN HE TAKES HIS PONYTAIL DOWN I SWEAR I AM 33 WEEKS ALONGGGGGG
Eren Jaeger: please I hate myself he is so angry and he has impulse control issues which means he’s perfect
Barry Allen: RUN WHITE BOY RUN! Part 2! Except make him not problematic sometimes and make him love kids which means he should in theory be higher on this list but idk
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smash or pass
MARK WITH A Q
OH GOD NO. HARD PASS. the second i saw that man in action, with the way he moves, i dried up like the sahara.
but, since we're here already, and i'm extremely drunk... let's have us a little look at mister jimmy d'anda, the other gentleman in the picture. he is a thousand percent SMASH. i'll be honest, i don't normally go for the stick men drummers but he is extremely my type (smol and weird) and holy hell. pls i have some self-indulgent gifs handy so that i can yell about how much he is a smash.
^this is from literally the worst quality video i have ever watched on youtube. genuinely replicated the feeling of watching a vhs tape, and that is NOT a compliment. ANYWAY. HE'S SO FUCKING PRETTY. THE EARRING!!!!! HIS HAIR. HIS MOUTH. HIS EVERYTHING.
^this is definitely in the weird category but he's very cute, smooching his cymbal, and then right at the end EYE CONTACT. GOODBYE. I AM DEAD. WOULD LOVE HIM ON ME.
AGAIN! THE HAIR!! THE EARRINGS!!!! THE MOUTHHHHHHHHHH pls whatever stupid shit he's doing with the drumstick, he can absolutely do to me. he also at one point in this video just BITES down on the stick, and like. strong vibes of someone who bites during sex. which...... mmhmm.
i kind of forgot where i was going with all this because i'm very drunk and he's so hot i want to fuck him and/or die right now thanks
#help i've been listening to bulletboys all night#i just need to yell about my pretty stick boy#and all i did was zone out while staring at this last gif#i'm sorry i'm like this#i just find marq so offputting oh my god#and so why not talk about something i actually like#yayyy#he pretty must kiss him#long post#inbox things#smash or pass
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I saw someone else do this and now I’m compelled to as someone who’s been in the fandom since 2010
Stereotypes of SP fans by character:
Stan fans: pretty chill usually, hates discourse, likes telling people about their pets, very appreciative of the old school SP eps, wants Randy Marsh to burn
Kyle fans: usually some of the nicest ppl around, ain’t too afraid to speak their mind, reblogs a lot of art, big smarts
Kenny fans: open to a lot of different aus/concepts, would literally die for him and his siblings, usually big readers, appreciative of many different ships even if they don’t directly ship them themselves
Cartman fans: confident on their blog, isn’t afraid to let people know when something bothers them, has a consistent friend/group of friends, isn’t a stranger to discourse, I pray for them each day that they survive in this fandom
Butters fans: wholesome and caring people, can be pretty shy at first but when you get to know them they’re a joy to be around, quite creative and artistic, don’t need to be protected but you wanna protect them anyway
Wendy fans: just wants everyone to be at peace, is capable of heavily binge watching their fav show if they wanted to, promotes a lot of positive content, appreciates the background characters a helluva lot, girl power!!
Craig fans: comes out with really random shit all the time, usually the funniest one in their group of friends, sarcasm is in their blood, was probably a real wild child
Clyde fans: posts memes a lot, doesn’t care for aesthetics or a consistent theme with their blog, exaggerates stuff literally because they can, quite social/keen to make friends online, the type who laughs at inappropriate moments
Tweek fans: excitable, big on aesthetics, usually the arty type, easily amused, can talk about the same headcanon for days and not get bored, smol bean but will fight
Token fans: rare to find, pretty clever, easy to get along with, chilled about life in general, will sit down with just about anyone and fan girl about all your fav things (or fanboy?fanenby? whatever the neutral term for that is)
Jimmy fans: generally supportive, has an endless stream of headcanons, is all about giving love to rare pairs and minor characters, sympathetic and sincere up until you leave Jimmy out of Craig and those guys, then they might roundhouse kick you into orbit
#OBVS NOT ENTIRELY ACCURATE its just from my personal experience#tried not to self project on the clyde part lmfao#clyde fans have been rare to come across lately#there used to be loads of us back in the day rip#south park#tweek tweak#wendy testaburger#kyle broflovski#clyde donovan#stan marsh#jimmy valmer#token black#kenny mccormick#eric cartman#craig tucker
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Tagged by @paprikat (thank you so much!!!)
Tag eight people you’d like to get to know better.
Favorite colors: mostly blues, especially teals, and blues like you see on my sona. I also love a light purpley-blue, like the colour everything is just before the sun comes up. You know the crayola crayon blue-green? that. Lavender and silver are also strong contenders
Last song I listened to: ‘The Science of Selling Yourself Short’ - Less Than Jake
Favorite Musicians: wow ur really gonna make me submit myself to the terror of being known, huh. Okay buckle up lmao: The Highwaymen (and also all of them by themselves), Big and Rich, The Dixie Chicks, Alestorm, Babymetal, Blue Oyster Cult, Rainbow, The Mountain Goats/John Darnielle, The Oh Hellos, Jimmy Buffet, KitCaliber, Rotteen, My Chemical Romance, Joe Hisaishi, Shiro Sagisu, Prince Whateverer, whoever the FUCK composed for Wind Waker, and like, a lot of others but I think u get the gist. There’s no set sound
Last Film I watched: Village of the Damned (1960)
Last show you watched: GOTHAM, BABEY. wait, actually it mighta been The Owl House haha
Favorite Original Character: THALIA, my DBZ OC. I just, I love her so so so so much? She deserves all the good in the world. People keep betraying her but she never loses that openness to let people into her life. Also she Fights Real Good and likes heavy metal and is the alien equivalent of age 10-14, her species is developmentally different from humans and it’s totally not just me being indecisive.
Sweet, spicy or savory: ???? ALL??? PLEASE??? I like adding sweet and spicy stuff to my meats. I made this rlly good pork loin one time that I had soaked overnight in peach wine and canned peaches and then slathered with peach bbq sauce before cooking it and it was so fucking good but like, I wish I had added spicy stuff. I bought some dried Carolina reapers and crushed em up and put them on chicken, it took me like 40 minutes to eat one little bit of chicken but it was so good.
Water, tea or coffee: TEA. I BUY SO MUCH TEA ALL THE TIME CONSTANTLY. Adagio Teas has my number lmao. Sometimes I do it quick and dirty in the microwave if I’m using bagged tea, otherwise I brew it. I have an electric kettle :3
Pets: Jack Russell Terrier, named Teddy Bear! :3
he looks like babey (and he is) but he can also be very r00d and will step all over u and sometimes sit on your head like his butt is a hat
hhh okay so idk who has done this and who hasn’t and also I don’t wanna bother people but here I gooooooo @bees-self-ships @thatgirlwiththeglasses13 (I think you may have done this already? but my brain says u won’t be annoyed if I tag u so you’re getting tagged) @mister-misfit-and-his-internet @instantcrushez @moron-selfshipper @smol-girl-shipping-the-world uh uh um idk if I’m close enough with anybody else to tag them that you didn’t already tag so I guess if u see this and wanna do it, do it and tag me
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