#l love her so much man
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THIS DAMN WINK IS ONLY FOR ME 🗣‼️‼️‼️‼️
ONLY ME RAHHHHHHHHH🦁🦁🦁‼️‼️( i freakin love her sm )
#bro i can’t#l love her so much man#kny#demon slayer#art#giyubabe#kny shinobu#demon slayer shinobu#shinobu kocho#kocho shinobu#kny official art#goddess#she’s so cute#and mine
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unnecessary comparison of the day!
volume 5’s release of one of asuna’s chapters changed the subject of her stan twt cancellation posts from mona to miyu (of frusu)!
#there are also minor dialogue changes from the piccoma release to the volume versions but still~~~~#though ngl i love how asuna is the one who has received the most dialogue changes out of everyone in the series lmao#she received one in vol 2 when. like. no one else did iirc#ily asuna frusu i wanna k n o w your after story auauaauaaaaaaaaa#but. man. now im faced with a tough decision for vol 4.#do i or do i not have asuna cuss mona out in the name of localisation or should i just tl directly?#bc so far i’ve tried to tl asuna based on vibes and such as much as possible (instead of direct tls) sooooo#i just. wanna do her justice mannnnnnn. she’s a dumbass but she’s *my* dumbass yk?#but aside from that… i gotta try my best to come up with tls for the variety show segments auaaaaaaaa#i think my little theme of attempted alliteration would work? im sorry appare☆manten you’re sunny⭐︎skies now#hmmmmamamsmmdmdkdjdmdjdjdjdjse im sorryy im goinggngngng insaneeeee from the lack of lxl album shipping updates auauauaaaaaaaaa#p l s ship my album i n e e d to inject meoto into my veins#pls cmonnnnn you cant just suddenly up the shipping price by 20 bucks and *not* ship it on timeeeee#im gonna e a t d h l if it’s the last thing i do#m. maybe it’ll ship if i finish tling the vol 3 bonus chapter today (delusional) i hate waiting for parcels smmmmmm#ok insanity over i think i should get some dinner bye
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my therapist really saved me….
#tw abuse // tw sa#i can’t sleep bc i keep thinking about this.#like i probably would’ve not been here if it weren’t for her#i started seeing her january of 2023… my life has changed entirely since then and she was definitely the one who got the ball rolling#literally so much has changed since then and it’s all because of her#i was so dissociated during our first few sessions#thanks to her i was able to get diagnosed and medicated for adhd. i was able to realize i was in an abusive situation and plan a way out#i was able to focus on myself and my healing and she’s helped me reframe so much of my negative thinking#i was able to process a lot of emotions and become a better version of myself with each session#she’s truly incredible.#i remember the first comment she made about the relationship had been ‘’so it’s like there’s an imbalance of control in the relationship’’#i had put my partners on such a high pedestal that i had no idea they could be doing anything wrong#and i asked her what she meant and she said ‘from what you’ve been describing it’s sounds like a strict parents and child type of dynamic’#she told me they didn’t need to understand why i wanted to leave and they didn’t need to make that decision. if that’s what was going to be#best for me the only thing i could do is let them know my reasoning and simply leave. i didn’t need their permission.’’#i remember being so confused at that realization bc like… i had been putting their emotions over mine the whole time i had forgotten simply#doing what’s best for me was an option… l#ever since then i’ve been putting myself first and it’s been a steady uphill from rock bottom… i’ve made an incredible amount of progress#when i first started with her getting out of bed and walking to the kitchen was incredibly difficult and took all my strength.#yesterday i conquered a mountain!!!!!!! i hiked all the way to the top!!!!! :D#me a year ago thought it was going to take me years and years to recover. as soon as i left i made leaps of progress#im incredibly proud of myself and grateful for her. and my reiki lady she’s also been a great great help.#the silver lining is i realized who really matters. and the relationships i cared about deepened.#my sweet virgo friend was the one who was always like ‘THATS A GROWN ASS MAN WHO CANT UNDERSTAND BASIC CONSENT???’#LMFAO i would be like ‘but he has trauma and bla bla bla’ she looked me dead in the eyes and said#’jess you said with your last boyfriend that you would never make excuses for a man who was hurting you again. stop defending him.’#she’s really a gem and i treasure her with my life. i hope she knows i love her. she’s family at this point#she’s also literally saved my life before (like deadass called 911 for help)#im glad i had the support system i had. that was a rough situation with so many layers and im glad i got through it#my 22nd year of life was by far the worst of my life and i don’t ever want to put myself in that situation again. im glad i learned.
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nah man I get hancock I really do if I had to pick a single man in the whole history of the world to fall for I'd pick luffy too, who are we kidding
#i love kuja island its a cool spin on the amazon myth and all the designs for the girls are extremely fun#i wish luffy had spent more active on screen time there the girls are fun#also i never spent too long thinking about it but it makes sense kuma would send him there#since he was trying to hide him and that's like#the only island that's completely off limits for anyone who's not a resident#smart thinking !#also during the fight with the sisters they talk about conqueror haki and i thought about how zoro has it and#UGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he loves luffy so much!!! HE LOVES LUFFY SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!#it's LITERALLY in his very nature to stand at the top and follow noone and he still loves luffy so much he'd follow him to hell#he said so!!! on page!!!!! he would!!!!!!!!!#they repeat it a whole lot during the manga too#how a man like zoro could be a captain himself#how it's weird there's someone above him#he loves luffy so much he goes against everything anyone would expect of him to stay by him....... p l e a s e 😭😭😭#on a slightly unrelated not just before being sent away nami looks at luffy and Cries and Asks for Help and luffy can't save her and I just#AUUUGHHHHH the callback!!! to her arc!!!!! and how while he tries to get back on the sea luffy thinks about her specifically!!!!!!#FUCK!!!!!!!#I'm fine I'm normal I'm not crying about something i first read 14 years ago what are you talking about hahahahaha
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Soulmates AU in which when your soulmate is in a situation that can result in their death you get to see through their eyes. Like, I don't know how to explain this- it kind of flashes between what you see and what your soulmate sees. You know those edits where there's a scene going on and there's another one faded in the background happening at the same time? Similar to that. The idea is that you get to see what your soulmate sees too, on top of what you're seeing.
Now, this AU but JeanMarco. With Marco asking the others where's Jean, just for him to start seeing a corpse right in front of his eyes not even a second after asking. Seeing through Jean's eyes as he's trying to get hold of that gear and stuff. And once Jean's safe, once it clicks that you know his best friend is his soulmate Marco can't wait for them to graduate so he can you know tell him that.
Then, you know. That happens. And Jean is so fucking confused because he keeps seeing Annie crying, looking down on him. Only when Annie starts getting off the gear, when his soulmate starts moving around trying to get away he starts panicking, starts moving around faster than before. And maybe he's too late. Or maybe he shows up in time and kills the titan. I don't know. That's not where I'm trying to get, but to the second option AKA Marco pulling an UNO reverse on Annie because he's a smart sneaky bastard like that and being like 'Hey you can't kill me, my soulmate will know it was you' which makes her stop trying to take off his gear. Reiner keeps telling her to do it, Bertholdt keeps yelling about that titan coming closer, but Annie... she has seen things, at some point. Flashes of moments that weren't hers, happening right in Trost- right in that moment. And she didn't give them too much thought until that moment, until it got confirmed that it has nothing to do with her titan powers.
'What do you mean by that?' she asks, because she needs to know more. Because she wants to know more. And Marco starts explaining how it works. Tells them that he has found his soulmate, that they will put all the blame on them for his death. Reiner doesn't believe him, keeps insisting that he's playing them around - he, and anyone born and raised on Marley, has never heard of something like that before, it doesn't exist - but Annie tells him to shut up and to let Marco go. Cue to the plot of any fic in which Marco doesn't straight up die after finding up their secret.
Anyway I don't know man, just,,, We need more soulmate aus for JeanMarco. That's an order.
#When I wrote this my mind was to Mina x Annie like straight up I was like 'Yeah Mina's Annie's soulmate and she saw her dying' but my brain#liked to remind me that you know Armin has a nerd death experience too. So it can go either way guys the idea is that Annie's soulmate l#either died in Trost or was close to dying#Some little things I daydreamed about while waiting to get home to finish this post (more like little details for the au than anything#else) : Only Eldians can have a soulmate aka only subjects of Ymir. Marley being the racist motherfucker they are aren't aware of the whole#soulmate thing. That's why Reiner Berthold and Annie has no clue something like that exists they didn't get taught about that. Meanwhile#everyone on Paradis knows about soulmates kind of hard not to when many SC die on a basic lol. Is something normalized for them#Also another little detail would be that a Titan Shifter can't see during their shift. Aka Eren didn't see through Mikasa's eyes during#Trost despite her being near death at some point(s) (I'm thinking about when Titan Eren punched that Titan coming for Mikasa but honestly?#She was in danger when Eren lost control too). So yeah that's all I have for now#I think it also make sense a little for some soulmate thing to occur on top of the titan powers given the whole 'love story' between Ymir#and King Friz (or whatever his name fuck that guy- in a nonsexual way). So yeah we should totally play around with the concept of soulmates#more#This post is a mess but I started it at like 11 pm and finished it at 6 pm let me be man. My sleep deprived mind came out with this one#I make no promises to actually write something with this - I'll have to re-watch the first two season and kind of update as I watch the#other seasons so yk. Low chances. But feel free to use this as you please haha. Go wild guys. It doesn't even need to be JeanMarco yk#Like Annie seeing Mina die with her own eyes??? And her thoughts process for the whole time once she finds out she was her soulmate#Or ykyk Historia Witnessing Ymir's death??? Nicolo losing his shit over seeing that little girl shoot his soulmate??? LEVI SEEING FLASHES#OF BIG ASS STONES THROWN AROUND#Man actually you can play around with Levi so much like we have Petra too and Hange and-#Regardless#aot jean#aot marco#aot#jeanmarco#Aot JeanMarco#jean kirstein#jean kirschstein#marco bodt#marco bott
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Keep thinking about Lawmane. How L would be so utterly awkward when stuttering out that he loves Misa. How confused he would be when she kisses him. How stunned he would be when he first feels her mouth against his. How he would melt into her arms, and she would pet his hair as he kisses her back.
And of course how he would absolutely cuddle her and show his PDA everywhere after that.
#give this man a girlfriend#he would love her so much#and she would love him if light imagay was out of the picture#death note#lawmane#l x misa#lawmisa
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Trigger warning for medically assisted death
I learned something today. As a Canadian I'm incredibly lucky that we have access to MAID (medical assistance in dying). Not to say it doesn't have it's issues, which it does and I have no problem being very loud about those issues, but when you have a family member suffering from terminal cancer and they've exhausted all possible treatments that have a chance if prolonging their life those issues don't really come into play. That's not what I learned by the way, just a little bit of background.
What I learned is that gathering to be with your loved one while they die is very similar to a funeral. In fact, for me at least, it's more effective than a funeral.
Funerals are supposed to be a way to allow people to say goodbye to someone who has died, to get closure. More often than not there wasn't a chance to do that before the person died. It allows you to get together and remember the person and grieve, and for a lot of people that works really well. It's never really helped me much though. Between my ADHD "Now" and "Not Now" time blindness and object stasis (it's not really onject impermanence bit that's a discussion for another time), and my belief that there is no after life, we just.. end, a funeral doesn't provide me any of that closure it seems to for most people. The only thing a funeral does is cause me pain because I'm overwhelmed by seeing so many people emotionally hurting.
But gathering as a family today with my mom, getting to say goodbye to her and have her say goodbye to us, having the support of other people who loved her as much as I did while we watched her fall asleep and then stop breathing, and then going back to the house with everyone to eat and help each other co-regulate? That was as much closure as I think my weirdly wired brain is ever going to be able to get.
I don't have much experience with death. The only two people in my life who have died were very old (80+), so I didn't know how I would handle being there today. I thought it might be too hard, seeing everyone be so sad. I wasn't worried about my own grief, I long ago accepted this outcome and I'm very happy she had the option to die with dignity and go out on her own terms, but I was worried about how I'd cope with other people's grief.
It wasn't hard though, it was quite the opposite. It was one of the easiest things I've ever done. I think a large part of that was that no one was uncomfortable seeing other people upset (like they usually are), and we were all really happy for her and grateful so there was no resentment or denial, just sadness and relief.
Actually I take that back. Lance was very distressed to see so many people upset and not be able to fix it. I had him in his vest for the first time in years (mom was in the hospital and I didn't want to leave Lance in the car case while I could have managed without him it was so much easier with him there. I took a couple of decompression breaks and we went and visited some of the other patients which always makes me happy).
But other than Lance no one else was uncomfortable and it was really just an incredibly cathartic experience and I'm really glad I chose to go (mom gave us the option. She said she'd like us there but it was okay if we didn't want to be). I knew I'd regret it down the line if I didn't go, and that instinct was spot on.
I'm sure that not everyone will find the experience as positive and healing as I did, but if you ever find yourself in the position to choose whether or not to be there with someone as they die and you're one the fence about it I hope this helps you make a more informed choice, whichever option ends up being the best one for you.
For me, this experience granted me a peace above and beyond my acceptance of her death that I wasn't expecting, and I'm really grateful for that. If I was a spiritual person I'd even say I was blessed.
I love you so much mom. You fought so hard and I'm so glad that your last moments got to be peaceful ones.
#the second to last thing she said to me#was that she was sorry I hadn't found my Cinderella#but that maybe I should be looking for a pinderella instead#(paraphrased cause my brain doesn't store memories well when I'm upset)#man those palliative care drugs are wild!#I *think* what dhe meant was that perfect doesn't exist#and I shouldn't hold out hoping for it to find me#it's okay mom#I'm not single because my standards are too high#I'm single because I'm not able to really leave my house#and other people's standards sail right over me l#lol#the last thing she said was that she loved me#and there was so much unspoken in those three words#so much she didn't know how to say in that moment#and all I could say back was that I loved her#because I didn't know how to give voice to everything I wanted say either#and it was perfect#and once my brain finally catches up thay she's really gone#and not just out of sight#I'm gonna miss her so much.#I wrote a song for her and played it for her#and she really liked it and said it made her want to go to sleep#so I played it on my phone's speaker for everyone while the doctor injected the drugs into the IV#and she went to sleep for the last time#It made it feel like more of a ritual I think#I know it helped me to listen to it instead of just silence#I wrote it to say goodbye to her#I'm so glad I got enough of it done that I could share it with her
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Ok so like.....*sigh*
So like in the show he basically asks her to marry him and she says yes, and they're both like "Promise? Promise!" but she keeps fucking conveniently remembering and forgetting "the promise to mother" like I know he's intoxicating af and it's hard to hold a thought around this man (I also have a very hard time holding a thought looking at him), but pick a goddamn side and have a backbone about it ffs!! Like you can't waffle on people like this girl!! You literally sat here and engaged yourself to this man and then you go off and do THAT???
I would like to note that so far in the (very drastically different) novel, there is no such promise ever made, and she fucks off to the steppe because she's mad at Ning Yi thinking the whole entire time he had just been cozying up as part of a plot to kill her so leaving bought her time, space, and a power base to fight back and he just eats the misunderstanding like "????? fine, come and kill me when you're ready, at least I'll get to see you again, I am ok with this." which makes a bit more sense tbh.
In a loooot a lot of ways, the tv show is about 1000x more polished than the book, but at least the book has fewer slaps in the face like this. They become a bit more obvious on rewatch, especially after pawing through the novel. (I hope the translator finishes it someday!! They picked it up again this past may after two years of nothing so here's hoping!)
#the rise of phoenixes#spoilers#i needed to talk about some stuff ok#tbh I do like the ning yi of the tv show a LOT more- god bless chen kun#but the book ning yi also has his good points like accepting zhiwei's major choices#in the show it is absolutely not his fault that her mom and brother die- no question bc he tried damn hard to do everything he could#in the book he's got a bit more of the blame because he loses control of his subordinates after showing too much favor to zhiwei#they think he's blinded by her charm and talent and unable to make sound decisions so they act independently without telling him and fuck u#and he accepts that because he lost control of his people that that puts some of the blame on him because he WAS investigating feng hao#just not at zhiwei's expense which is what she thinks has happened- that wasn't the game at all#but he still takes the L with a little bit of dignity and it makes sense for her to get her space and leave#whereas in the show she highkey comes off as a pissbaby after this man wins a whole war on speedrun just to save her#only for her to conveniently remember mommy's promise again and break her engagement and fuck off to the steppe#which leaves him rightly a fucking mess and that was not a good look for her#i really really hope the translator picks the book back up and finishes it#i would love to see how this pans out there as the whole picture even though I know it has a happy ending already#but still!!
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feelings are so complex
#its funny in a way yk#because like on one end of the spectrum theres this person that was supposed to be my best frien#but she ended up manipulating me and doing some really shitty things and will be all nice to my face but talk shit behind my back#and honestly she can be a terrible horrible person and has hurt another close friend of mine really badly#and i want to hate her so badly#and i think part of me does hate her because being around her now just drains me of my energy and i suck at being fake about people#but at the same time i loved her at one point bc she was my best friend and i cant just let that go??#and she's going through a lot so i just feel sad for her#so like i cant hate her if im sympathetic and its just weird idk man#i want to hate her but i cant#like i feel awful ab the shit she's going thru but that doesnt excuse the crappy human being she's being but i feel like a bad person#holding her accountable for that bc of how much she's going thru and like why why WHY is it like this why is it not in black n white#then on the other end of the spectrum there are feelings that like im kind of terrified off but like#i underestimated just how easily those type of feelings can blossom#is this me talking about the L word? yes. 🧍🏻♀️#i thought that falling in love per se would be like. way more work way more time etc etc#but apparently not? its oddly simply? but at the same time admitting it is like oh okay what#and therefore its like u gotta take time to figure yourself and it out and then like#like you dont really realize it until you're standing in the midst of it#man i dont even know what this post is lmfao 😭 i quite frankly dont even know what im saying right now i am just putting my thoughts out#into the abyss because i gotta put it somewhere#goodbye and goodnight now#brooke rambles
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Holy fuck this looks gorgeous
#Seb's so pretty I want to pick him up by the ankles and swing him around E/nvy F/MA style#throw him at the wall like a sticky hand.#img#Vamppostz#Nick.txt#Nick talks too much#k#I'm so curious as to how this is going to go. cuz this will be.. s3 I guess??#and that would imply it follows the plot of s2 which is VERY different from the ma/nga..#I miss the s2 characters quite a bit but. (spoilers) they all died so :'l#at the very least we'll definitely be seeing the reapers again :) (and they will in all likelyhood be treating G/rell much better this time)#(I haven't read far into the man/ga but I heard they eventually started to use her proper pronouns and stuff. I love her sm I'm so happy)#I hope we see more of Ag/ni and Prince S/oma.#So/ma my beloved <333333333333333333333333333#and I want to see more A/gni and Seb friendship. I care about them greatly.#like. him being the only human to call Seb a friend. aughhhh (wails)
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Cyclizar my love,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
#me: ''we don't need any more favorite pokemon'' my brain:#I LOVE MY LIZARD I LOVE MY LIZARD I LOVE MY LIZARD I LOVE MY LIZARD I LOVE MY LIZARD I LOVE MY LIZARD I LOVE MY LIZARD I LOVE MY LIZARD I L#i cannot convey how much i love them they are literally perfect#fictional lizard babies <3#and shoutout to my cyclizar Liz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love him sm#i miss him too i haven't been able to play violet for a while (School sucks man)#scribbling the name of my crush in the margins of my notes in glitter gel pen but actually i'm just writing ''cyclizar''#gen 9 brought so many amazing lizard pokemon (it was like 3 but still) i hope they keep it up#this is a cyclizar lovers blog if you hate them get blocked /j#an individual known as lemon does the act of expressing her feelings with words
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ok i can talk abt work now. i got hired to assist the main person who runs inventory and communicates with the vendors, orders plants and products etc etc. its been hard and mostly office work but insanely rewarding.
#logbook#they have me sitting at a desk ik they had to pull from someones ass in the corner of the main room next to her#this first week i went thru and counted every perennial they have on property and then went into the system and cycle counted it properly.#come mon i go back thru sales and if a plant want sold in 22 then i archive it. . .going to be so much work lol#i miss working outside with every fiber of my being but im also starting from the bottom with this job. . .im not at the top of pack here.#and ive been enjoying this aspect of the plant world so im honestly satisfied for right now. and i love the ppl i work with in the office.#we had a staff meeting yesterday and i texted c after going 'man im so relieved to know they still have workplace problems lol'#cause its really a priveledge to work in a garden center like this. . .imo.#anyways im full time<3 and ive been told i can come in earlier then i have been come march.#plus i get an employee discount lol. . .going to be so bad with the houseplants. theres a fern i really want if its still there mon.#im apparently doing all the work faster than anyone expected. .i thought i was going slow lmao#also she let me into the system on my first day and she told me she never does that. . .i was like 🥺#also i texted j this week and she said that the b+tes ppl go into l+wes and get lumber and said i was a hard worker and good!!#i was like ???? hello??? bc at that point id only worked 2 days. . and i still dont know who it was either.#ive been having fun tho. this week i'll take pics of the plants that are actually flowering. . .and some shrub closeups.#also checked in my first delivery on wed i think. it was fine. ik product and can count and i care so its not like its hard. .#going to be doing that all spring. . .whew.
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didn’t think it was possible for coach to get any sexier but somehow in season 4 he did.
#he looks TALLER somehow#suddenly all 6’1 of him visually hitting different#he wears BLACK more and it kills me#He has less patience than usual and it is hilarious and scintillating#his scenes with Tami K I L L me because they’re my favorite Eric mode —watching the space of her mistakes but saying nothing#except supportive things#also the depths of his fatherly love and nature showing more quietly than they ever have before#whether that’s telling Matt he’ll walk him home or quietly showing Michael b Jordan he can trust him#he is honestly just breathtaking to me. I love him so much#a Man a Husband a Father a Coach!!!#standard issue apology to Nina for using the word sexy. never has a man deserved it more though#friday night lights
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i bet if walter white had tumblr hed be like "i am the one who blogs haha"
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🔮 purple-queen Follow
just got a beautiful ring from the store, can't wait to show it off here!
#my purchases #marie speaks
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🌶️ capncook
finally scored a new job can i get a hell yeah. back to making stacks dawg
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🪨 hankschrader4 🔁 flynwyte Follow
🏎️ flynwyte Follow
HELP A DISABLED TEEN'S FATHER AFFORD CANCER TREATMENT!
I didn't want to have to make this post, but deadlines are closing in and I don't have many options left.
My name is Walter White Junior, and my father was recently diagnosed with cancer. He's been battling for a few months now, and he wants us not to worry about him, but he can't keep pulling money out of nowhere. I've done the math, and I've estimated that he needs $12k to afford all the treatment he needs.
Any donations are appreciated! You can donate directly at my website, or donate on p@yp@l, under the username flynwyte.
407/12,000
(do not tag as donation!)
#donation
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💲 sponsored
Did you recently get in a car accident? You better call him...
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👨🏾💼 gustavo-fring
I am pleased to announce that we have finally hired a new social media intern.
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yo yo yo whaddup chicken lovas!!! were bringin back the 2-for-1 honey mustard wings combo, with that signature taste you cant help but love! get it today, bitches!
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🔮 purple-queen Follow
okay, you know what? No. I'm sick of this. Kleptomania is a valid mental disorder, and if i have to explain to you why, then i will.
Read More
#marie speaks #rant
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🌶️ capncook
bored on the job man its got me thinkin...
#vent post #delete later
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i can't say shit around my grandpa bro. i make a comment about the lakers one time and its 😤🛎️🛎️🛎️😤🛎️🛎️😤😤🛎️🛎️🛎️🛎️🛎️ im fuckin SICK OF IT!!
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🐓 los-pollos-hermanos Follow
i miss her so much man...
#vent post #delete later
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🐓 los-pollos-hermanos Follow
We would like to apologize for our social media intern's mistake. As a token of our apology, we are offering a 10% discount on any chicken order if you mention this post. Have a finger-lickin' day!
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🧪 h31s3nb3rg Follow
I am the one who blogs haha
#heisenposting
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😺 meow-moment
Who said that
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Haunted
Toji cannot move on, until he realized too late.
Warnings: Angst, slightest fluff (reader and baby 'gumi moment)
You were just a girl, standing in front of a man, asking him to love you.
How hard was that for him? Yes, he wasn’t good with his words but he wasn’t good at anything else either. He was just there.
Maybe because the woman he truly loved—he was still mourning over her. His sad eyes every time he watched an old couple dance together, wishing he had been doing that but with her. The cute babies babble with their mothers as Megumi babbles with his father, how he wished his wife was still here instead of you. He never said it, but that’s what it felt like.
And perhaps that's what it was.
Sometimes he curses himself out when he accidentally calls you his wife's name. During intimate times only. You tried—trying to keep the emotions in as if it wasn’t breaking every part of you, was the hardest part. “Look he’s walking...” You smiled at the dark haired baby who was walking towards you. Toji smiled, making sure he’d record every second of it; deep down he wished his wife was the one the baby was walking towards instead of you.
And it was wrong—so wrong.
“This relationship, I’m with you but Toji—Toji this is the loneliest I’ve ever felt.” You whispered while he ate his leftovers, his brows still furrowed from the argument occurring earlier. Having Toji work from 9–5 wasn’t the best but good thing he had you, helping him out with so much. Picking up groceries, picking up his lovely son—until you mentioned that one of his teachers mistaken you as his biological mother. That right there was enough to make Toji angry for weeks at least.
But not this time.
He stopped chewing on his food after you spoke, waiting for more of an explanation. Which you figured he needed, “I don’t think you’re in love with me–”
“I like you [name], a lot.” He cleared his throat. He leaned back on his chair as his arms crossed waiting for you to continue the sentence he interrupted.
Right, he liked you a lot. These three rough years you’ve been dating Toji—that particular l word was never uttered once, not even if he was drunk, or having a special moment with you. You huffed trying to find the right words for Toji to understand. That was until little Megumi started crying from his room. “I’ll try to put him back to sleep, finish eating.” He watched as your fragile little body sulked its way to Megumi’s room.
He knew this was gonna happen, he knew you were bound to leave him sooner or later.
You smiled as you opened the door to see the little Megumi standing on top of his little bed. His hands wiping his tears as he ran towards you, his arms now wrapping around your legs. “Sleep with mama and papa.” He cried out as you leaned down to pick up the little boy. “[name] and papa, not mama okay?” You corrected him, if Toji were to find out that he had been calling you that, then that argument would’ve climaxed.
The little boy nodded, his tears now gone as you swayed him around. “Sleep with you.” He mumbled, leaning his head on your shoulder as he played with a strand of your hair. “Just for tonight.” You whispered, watching Megumi pick up his head and smile. Content with your answer.
Toji’s heart could just swell at the sight. You treated his son as if he was your own and nothing looked so much better right now, except for the fact that he wished it was his wife.
Megumi was now soundly sleeping between you and Toji, “I don’t think I can do this anymore.” His eyes shut tightly hearing those piercing words leave your mouth. It hurt when his wife left him, but this hurt was different—different because he knew it was coming yet he didn’t want to do anything about it.
“I’m sorry—”
“You don’t need to be the one apologizing.” He watched your soft gaze stare at completely nothing. He was confused, this was his fault. He never treated you how you needed deserved to be treated. “It was my fault for throwing myself at a man who simply was not ready.”
The next morning was silent—baby ‘gumi was confused at the saddened look on your face. Constantly walking up to you asking if you were okay. He was still just a baby, yet he read the room so well. “I’m sure we can work this out—” Toji now sitting next to you on the couch, some cartoon playing in the back as Megumi’s little head sat on your lap. “You’re not ready, Toji.” You nodded, eyes still glued on the tv as if it was meant for you and not the little Megumi.
“And how are you so sure—”
“Tell me you love me then.” Your eyes are now fixed on Toji’s. It was hard, he felt as if his mouth had been glued shut. You sigh, bringing your gaze back to the tv, “I love you—but it’s hard when it’s one sided Toji.”
It hurt much more, seeing you drive away as the clueless Megumi waved you out. Poor thing thinks you’re simply going to the store. The house that once felt like home was so dull now. Toji sat little ‘gumi down on the couch.
His constant, “mama?” or “[name]?” while he kept his gaze on the door every so often. Nothing prepared Toji for this. Megumi cried that he wanted to sleep with his mama and papa, his heart swelled knowing that he had been talking about you.
You were gone, just like his wife. But it hurt—it hurt so much more knowing that you’re alive trying your best to…move on. He stayed up late that same night, stumbling upon a video from two years ago. When Megumi first learned how to walk. You and Toji had just started dating but the look of happiness plastered your face as you watched the little baby walking.
That was one thing Toji never forgot about, how much you loved kids. Telling him how once you had kids of your own you would finally be able to live in peace. How he heard of it less and less as the years went on, he wonders if you still think that.
next part ->
#jjk#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x y/n#angst#jjk angst#jjk toji#toji fushiguro#toji x reader#toji x you#toji zenin#jujutsu toji#toji fushiguro angst#toji fushigro x reader#jjk x you#jjk drabbles#rosipuree
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if this show was better endgame would be alexia and ana </3
#l#i'm sorry but alexia is genuinely like. a lesbian#not to be like that but she is#i love her btw#anyway that scene where she's apologizing to ana like babygirl why are you touching her so much <3#literally can't keep your hands to yourself#also. do i even have to say anything about her bringing scissors to ana's room. like. on the nose. straight up#if ana had been there (alone). imagine. the passion#also ngl her wanting to literally murder ana is so hot ngl#like she literally got so jealous she went from trying to be a better person to "i'm genuinely going to murder her in her sleep :)' in a#literal second. like she's not doing all that for that man sorry. like her whole obsession has literally fuck all to do with him fr#anyway. point stands#they could make each other so much worse <3
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