#kesing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

analogwriting · 4 months

Text

Childhood Crush

Chapter 14: Magnesium

Killer x gn!reader word count: 3.3k a/n: ayeo fuck kese amirite???? this isn't the chapter i was crying over btw also i definitely have this queued to post at like 2am bc i feel like that's my brand so i'm deffo passed out rn cause i open LMFAO next

Dead? He told everyone you were dead? Now you were even more confused than before. Why the hell would he say something like that? It only drove the question more - why the hell did he want you out of the picture? Is that why Eustass seemed to go off the deep end? Cause his level of recklessness did just suddenly spike out of nowhere. Was that when he received the false news?

Your head was spinning but you had to focus on the task at hand. While you were running, you felt something land on your shoulder and you stopped. It was a bird - not any bird, but Myra’s bird. One she sent when she had urgent news. You couldn’t help but be nervous.

You untied the letter attached to its foot, opening it carefully and reading it. As the words sunk in, you started laughing. Was she fucking joking? “C’mon, My. You could’ve told me that from the beginning.”

Dear y/n,

I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you this in person - I just didn’t know how. So, I set up a fake mission to get you to find your brother. You always seemed hesitant to leave our island - to leave Lily and I, so I figured this was the only way to get you to reunite with him. I knew you would keep putting it off, claiming that you needed to get stronger. I hope you forgive me for lying to you.

There is no flower that we need for a breakthrough - there’s nothing in Wano that we need. I just knew your brother was there and knew you were missing him. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

My sincerest apologies,

Myra.

At the very bottom was Lily’s name written as well. You were sure she just wanted to feel included. You smiled fondly at the letter. “Oh, My. I could never be mad at you.” You pulled a pen pad and pen out of your pocket, writing a quick response before sending the bird off again. Impressive it was able to find you in all this chaos, honestly.

You made sure to let her know you weren’t mad and thanked her for everything. The whole thing was just hysterical. Myra was terrible at talking about feelings of any kind. A lot of people claimed she couldn’t feel normal emotions like a normal human, but she just couldn’t express them. She was rigid and came off cold, but you knew better. She had her own way of caring.

Obviously. She arranged a whole fake mission just to reunite you with your brother. You tucked away the letter, knowing you’d probably end up just keeping it. A keepsake along with the knife. Huh, maybe you were getting sentimental. Eh, whatever.

Well, now what? You spend a considerable amount of time looking for this damn flower that didn’t exist. And your brother is probably long gone from the place that he was at.

You suddenly felt something jump on to you from up above, yelping as you tumbled to the ground with whatever it was. After a moment of rolling around and a few scrapes with something sharp, you pinned it to the ground.

“Dive!?” Your eyes widened as you saw the small woman struggling against your grip. “Get fucking off of me!” She cried. Confusion took over your features. “Dive! It’s me!”

“No, it can’t be! You’re dead!” She eventually stopped struggling. That’s when you noticed her lip quivering and the tears in her eyes. “Who are you and why do you have their face?”

You stared at her for a long moment, processing. Right. Kese told all of them that you were dead. You let out a small sigh, sitting back and letting her go. “It’s me, Dive. I don’t know why Kese told everyone I died.” She sniffled, glaring at you.

“I don’t believe you.” She slowly sat up, wincing. You noticed a cut on her arm. “Here, let me tend to it.” You reached out and she pulled away suddenly, seemingly to distrust you. You frowned.

“Dive. I promise you. It’s me.” You tried to think of something to help your case, then you remembered. You lifted up your pant leg, showing her a clear bite mark scar. “When we met, I startled you so bad that you bit the shit out of me. I couldn’t walk right for a week.”

Dive’s eyes widened and tears started falling. “It really is you!” She threw herself into your arms as she sobbed, burying her face in your chest. You held her there, comforting her. Fuck, why did Kese do this? What the hell was his angle?

After Dive calmed down enough, she pulled away. “So, are you coming back with us?” A soft smile spreads across your face and you nod. “Of course.” She grinned widely. “Good. Everyone is going to be so fucking happy you’re alive.”

You stood up with Dive, looking around. “I heard the captain is fighting Big Mom with that other pirate captain - we should go find them!” She pulled you down the hallway and you followed behind her.

“Dive?” The both of you stop as you see Heat and Wire coming out of one of the many hallways that seemed to be in this maze of a place. They both tensed when they saw you. “Dive…get away from them.” You groaned, rolling your eyes. This was getting old fast. Sure, you understood why everyone was cautious but you were getting annoyed and honestly you couldn’t wait to kick some ass. Well, specifically Kese’s ass.

“No! It’s really them! The-”

“For all we know, they could be some kind of devil fruit user.”

You looked at Wire as he spoke, thinking for a moment. “Remember when we were kids? There was the snapping turtle incident? You know? The one where it bi-”

They were both over in moments, covering your mouth with their hands. “Okay! Okay!” You couldn’t help but start cackling behind their hands. They let you go, staring at you for a moment. They took you in and you sighed. “You’re making me uncomfortable,” you grumbled.

You suddenly felt them both wrap their arms around you and you yelped, almost taking a tumble to the ground, but catching yourself at the last moment. You patted their backs, keeping your own tears back. Mostly because you just missed the shit out of everyone. Besides, you knew these two for such a long time and now seeing them after being gone…

“Alright, alright,” you said, sniffling and pulling away from them. Now wasn’t the time to be sentimental - there was a wholeass war going on.

“We don’t understand…” Heat said, shaking his head. “Why would Kese tell everyone you’re dead?” Wire was just as confused. You shook your own head. “That’s what I’m going to try to figure out.” You sighed, putting your hands on your hips. You supposed you understood getting you off the ship…actually…no you fucking didn’t. Why has he been out to get you since the fucking get go?

“When the captain received that letter…” Wire frowned. You blinked. “Letter? What letter?” He looked at you. “Kese gave it to him. Apparently there was a letter sent by the lab you were at, saying that you had died on a mission. It included some newspaper clipping as well. There was a picture of you and everything.”

Your eyes widened. A picture? How the fuck did he pull that off? Why was he going through such lengths to do such a thing? Nothing was making any fucking sense.

“The captain went on a rampage after that,” Dive chimed in with a frown. “That’s when he ended up fighting Shanks. Shanks had tried to stop his rampage and the captain lashed out at him and…well…” She shrugged, assuming you knew the rest. You frowned, indicating that you did, in fact, know the outcome.

“Killer also seemed to change quite a bit. He wasn’t the level headed vice captain we all grew up with. Seemed to not have much care for what happened to him. It grew reckless… He kinda stopped cooking too. It was…” Heat shook his head. “Bad.”

You stood there, shocked. Bewildered. Dumbfounded. So, your guess was right. When your brother started to grow more reckless, that’s when he received the fake news. Also, you weren’t expecting to hear all this about Killer. Stopped cooking? You just couldn’t imagine it. But…you just couldn’t fucking figure out why. It was so weird, so confusing. What would Kese gain from all this?

“It’s so fucking good to see you,” Heat said with a large smile, hugging you again. You patted his back and smiled. “It’s good to see you guys too. I just wish you all didn’t think I died. That’s definitely making everything much harder.” You sighed, running a hand through your hair as you pulled away from Heat.

“Well, let’s head to wherever Tungsten is now. I saw him earlier, but at this point I’m not sure if he’s fully convinced what he saw was real - same with Killer.” Their expressions were bored into your skull. Well, Eustass’. But you knew that Killer must’ve felt the same way. You could just feel it.

Wire nods. “Follow me.” And you do. You slowly find more and more crew members on the way, all of them absolutely overjoyed to see you. Gig nearly crushed you when he picked you up, sobbing as he hugged you. You almost died for real. That would’ve been incredibly awkward - surviving death allegations only to die by affection.

The only people you were missing at this point were Killer, Bubblegum, and Pomp. And the man of the hour - Kese. Though, someone mentioned he was watching the ship. Everyone seemed to be in agreement that they weren’t going to say anything to him and just let you and Eustass deal with his ass.

Eventually, you made it to the room where Eustass was fighting Big Mom. You arrived just in time to see him summon a behemoth of some kind of a machine. Your eyes widened as you watched the scene unfold before you. You’d never really watched your brother fight before, but you knew it wasn’t to this calibur.

“Holy fucking shit,” you mumbled. “Impressive, right?” You looked over to Heat and nodded. “Yeah. When the fuck did that happen?” He shrugged. “This is definitely a newer one, but this was the only good thing that came out of…everything that happened. Awakened his devil fruit n’ all.” Your own face darkened. You still couldn’t believe that Kese just…lied to everyone. About something of that caliber too.

You needed to see this letter. To see this…picture.

While Eustass was fighting, you started patching everyone up. The lot of you stayed out of the way and you figured there was a better way to pass the time besides just sitting and watching. The fight seemed to be almost over anyway. With the amount of yelling and big attacks happening, you knew the fight was drawing to a close.

“Aren’t you worried, y/n? You seem rather calm about the fight right now,” Wire said. You looked at him, shaking your head. “Says the man who never shows any kind expression.” You snorted before answering his question. “I’m not worried in the slightest though. I have faith in my brother. They’ll win.”

It wasn’t long after that that he had done just that. They won. You head over to your brother with the rest of the crew, cries and shouts to be heard. You stop next to him, kneeling down and smiling. “Good job, Tungsten.” You started to patch him up quickly. He just stared at you. “You…really are back, Bigs? It wasn’t a sick delusion earlier?” You shook your head. He let out a breathless chuckle as he seemed to process it, staring up at the ceiling.

“They’re really back, captain!” Dive chimed in. You saw as tears welled in Eustass’ eyes and he covered his face with his arm. “I can’t fucking believe it,” he mumbled in a hoarse voice. You didn’t say much, just working on patching him up. You knew he was more than likely crying, but he wasn’t about to display that kind of emotion. You let him be.

Suddenly, you heard a command come from a large dragon that came crashing from above. Was that Kaido? He was a fucking dragon? An order came to attack your brother and the other captain from the other crew. You stood up, pulling out your own blades as people began to run towards the lot of you.

“Like fucking hell I’ll let them hurt you.”

Though, not much was able to happen before a large hand came down, grabbing Kaido and yoinking him right back out of the ceiling. You blinked, looking back at your brother who was sitting up. He looked just as confused as you, shaking his head and shrugging. “Luffy - I’m assuming.” You blinked. The Strawhat guy? Man, you really were missing a lot of important pieces of information right now, but you weren’t about to dwell on it.

It seemed everyone was distracted after that. A few people tried to come after Eustass, but you took them down with ease. You saw him stand up at the corner of your eye. “You better sit the fuck back down, Tungsten!” You turned around and glared at him and he returned the sentiment. “I’m fucking fine - chill out!”

“You just took a fuckin’ beating. You don’t need to be standing!” You marched back over to him, letting the others worry about what stragglers tried to attack.

“But I won!”

“Well, that’s not what I fucking said is it?”

“What the fuck are you getting on about?”

“I’m here to patch you up, no matter the damage. Now just accept my generosity before I let you bleed out!”

“Why are you fucking yelling at me?!”

“I’m not yelling!”

Just like that - the two of you are back to your old ways of arguing. To anyone else but the crew, it probably looked like yet another fight was about to break out, but to your crew members, they couldn’t have been happier to see the sight before their eyes. They all had smiles on their faces and some of them were even laughing about it. “Finds out y/n is alive and the first thing they do is argue. They’re really related,” you heard Wire muse.

“Why the hell are you mad at me!” You shouted, drowning out background noise.

“I’m not mad - I’m just shocked!”

“Well-”

“Well what? What could you possibly have to say now? More yelling? You’ve done enough of that!”

“I’ve got two years’ worth of scoldings to catch up on!”

“What the fuck does that mean!”

“It means-”

“Alright.” A third party interjects as you suddenly feel yourself being lifted off the ground. “Killer!” you shouted, immediately beginning to squirm. Eustass just laughed at you. “Ha! Serves you right for yelling for no reason!”

“Just ‘cause ass is in your name don’t mean you gotta act like one!” you shout from over Killer’s shoulder as he carries you away from your brother.

“Oh my fucking god - there are two of them,” you hear a voice say. Your eyes land on Trafalgar Law who looks absolutely horrified at the scene before him. You flip him off. “Mind ya business, asshole.”

“Real threatening coming from the person being lugged around like a sack of potatoes.”

“Why you fuckin- Killer let me at him!” You start struggling only to feel his grip on you tighten and you immediately give up.

“Absolutely not.”

He does, however, finally put you down once there’s distance in between you and your brother. You dust yourself off and straighten yourself out with a sigh before folding your arms. You looked at Killer with a small glare. “I was just trying to help,” you grumbled.

Then you heard it. You fucking heard what haunted you from your encounter in the snow. You tensed as the laugh rang through the air and your head snapped up, looking around for that deranged swordsman.

It fucking hit you like a fucking freight train.

Your eyes widened as you slowly looked at Killer, whose shoulders were shaking along with the haunting laughter. “Killi?” Your voice was soft as you slowly walked towards him. He stepped back and you paused for a moment. You looked over to your brother whose attention had also been grabbed by the sound of Killer’s new haunting laughter. It seemed to reverberate in a way that stuck with you.

It was hollow and emotionless. Not like the genuine laughter that it used to be. This was not the laugh you had fallen in love with. It was a twisted ghost of something you once enjoyed.

“Killer, what happened?” Before really thinking, you outstretched your arm towards his helmet but he quickly grabbed your arm - which happened to be the bandaged one and you hissed softly, pulling your arm away. He paused in his own movements as well.

His own hand reached out and took your arm gently, looking at your bandages. “Did I do this?” You looked at him, confused. Wait…was that shot in the dark theory you had true? You assumed he was just affected by whatever that swordsman was infected with. Was Killer and that swordsman the same person?

“No? It was some crazy swordsman in-”

“I did this…” You could hear the realization in his voice as it also hit you, but you’re still in denial. There was no way they were the same person. The dead look in his eyes. The look of bloodlust and just…

“Killer, no-”

“I did.” He ripped off his helmet and you gasped - mostly just out of shock from his sudden movements. You looked up at him with wide eyes. The bandages were gone, yes. But that smile, that haunting, empty smile stretched across his face. It looked absolutely painful. You reached your hands up towards his face and he pulled back, that damn cackle ringing out from him.

You caught his face in your hands anyway, brushing his hair out of his face to get a whole view of him. “What did they do to you?” Your voice was soft as you looked up at him. You watched as he cackled, the smile and the noise not matching the pure sadness his eyes were portraying. You saw the tears forming in his eyes. He was clearly in pain. Surely it wasn’t comfortable to have your face stretched and contorted in such a way permanently.

There had to be something someone could do about this.

Before you could say much more, Killer pulls away, putting his helmet back on his head. Eustass joins the two of you and you look at him. “What the fuck happened?” Your brother blinks as the blame of your conversation was pointed at him. He just holds up his hands in a surrender-like way.

“It wasn’t his fault, y/n…” You look back at Killer. “I’ll…explain later.” You stare at him for a moment before looking at your brother who also has a dark expression on his face. You nod, looking back at Killer. “Fine. I’ll let it be - for now.” “We have something to take care of anyway.” The two of them nod, knowing exactly what, or who you are referring to.

#hopefully y'all like it #cause the next one is where we get to The Confrontation frfr #it'll probably take a lil bit bc i definitely pulled the 'kese told us you died' out of my ass at the last second #i was possessed frfr #kid said that not me #but i figured it out #one piece #one piece x reader #one piece x you #killer one piece #killer x reader #massacre soldier killer #am fics #cc

40 notes · View notes

analogwriting · 5 months

Text

Childhood Crush

Chapter 9: Nickel

Killer x gn!reader

word count: 3.8k

a/n: a more chucky chapter, it wasn't long enough for me to justify splitting in two lmfao. also roller coaster of emotions frfr warning whiplash i guess next

Over the next few months, things went over smoothly. You were enjoying your life at sea and being able to explore all the different kinds of islands. Sometimes they were filled with the wildest things. You were always experimenting with new medicines and new cooking recipes. You wanted your brother and his crew to be at their best at all times.

Eustass and you built that contraption for Dive, so she wasn’t chewing on the ship anymore. You even developed some fireproof targets for Heat to practice on as well. Anything to get that kinda stress off your brother’s shoulders. You knew being a captain wasn’t easy, so you figured you’d show some mercy and help him out when he needed it.

You started working on a new project, so you were leaving your lab less often. You worked on it behind curtains and didn’t let anyone see it. You worked on it primarily when no one was around, mostly because you didn’t want anyone to know about it. You were slightly embarrassed. Probably because you were so damn prideful.

It was your own combat machine. You’d also been working on trying to remobilize your arm - at least better than it was. There were still days where it just hung limply at your side or the pain in it was unbearable, but you were working on trying to make the most of it when you could use it.

You were tired of not being able to help. Whenever your brother and his crew would fight, you would stay in your lab to make sure you weren’t in the way or making your brother worried. It was really bothersome. You grew up pretty much fighting for him when things got rough - and now you couldn’t do anything. It sucked ass and made you feel terrible.

You felt like a burden. Like some weakling from a fairytale that always needed saving and you hated it. You wanted to make sure no one had to worry about you. You wanted to be able to stand up for yourself and hold your own again. So, you trained.

It was hard. It almost seemed impossible to be able to fight again. The pain you sometimes felt when fighting was immeasurable and you would find yourself crying; mostly out of frustration. You felt like you weren’t making any kind of progress.

Today was one of those days. You were particularly frustrated, angry for letting yourself get caught. Angry for not being able to fight back. Angry for not healing back properly. You were just mad at the world. You cut your own time short, hiding the machine. No one really entered the lab without permission or rifled through it. They respected you, and your brother threatened them, that no one fucked with your things.

You sighed, running a hand through your hair. Even if you did regain the ability to fight…could you control yourself. Something slipped into your mind that you hadn’t thought about in a long time. The fact that you almost absolutely threw hands with Killer without a second thought the last time you fought. Your brother even commented on the look in your eye as you rounded on him.

Then you thought about all the times you did fight. The excitement. The bloodthirst. Maybe…maybe it was a good thing you couldn’t fight anymore.

You felt the ship stop, looking out of the porthole. Oh good, an island. You needed to do some restocking. You started to clean up your lab, having had a small tantrum earlier from your frustration. As you cleaned, your mind started spiraling once more.

The big question of the day - did your brother regret bringing you? You felt like you couldn’t provide a whole lot. He seemed to be doing just fine on his own, so you don’t really know why he needed you here. Was it just pity? Sure, he said it was because he wanted you here. Or was it just to keep an eye on you? Did he feel obligated?

You heard your brother’s voice ring throughout the ship, dragging you out of your thoughts. You sighed, pushing those thoughts away. Thinking like that got you nowhere, after all.

You headed out of the room, almost colliding with someone. It was that Kese guy. You hadn’t spoken a lot to him, mostly because your paths didn’t really cross too often. When they did, he always gave you a weird feeling that he hated you for some reason. “Sorry,” you mumbled, your words almost dying as they left when you saw the glower on his face that was directed at you.

Tension took over your body and you just quickly made your way in the opposite direction, just wanting to get off the ship for a little bit. Maybe there’d be some unique things on the island.

“Bigs!” You whipped around as you heard your brother’s voice. “Huh?” You spotted him, stopping. “Will you make cabbage rolls tonight?”

You blinked, a grin spreading across your face. “Now, why would I do that?”

“Uh, because I want them?”

“I don’t really wanna,” you whined, mostly just to mess with him.

“Fuck off. As your captain, I command you to make cabbage rolls for dinner.” When you and your brother got like this, the crew just let you be. They knew that you didn’t genuinely mean it. It was all playful bickering, not to mention if it went too far, Killer knew how to take care of it.

You laughed at him, watching his eye twitch. “Then it’s definitely a no for me.” Your smirk turned into a devious one, cackling at his expression.

“Why the fuck not?”

“I don’t you, I don’t wanna!”

Eustass huffed, clearly irritated. “It’s been a while since you made any and I really want some.” He looked at you. “C’mon, Bigs…” You looked at him, mulling it over.

“Mmm, still no.”

“Fuck you. Pleeeease?”

You narrowed your eyes at him, throwing your hands up in exasperation. “Fucking fine! You win. I’ll make some.” You planned on making them from the get go, you just liked to tease him. “I just wanted to see you beg.” Another cackle escaped from you, your brother narrowing his eyes at you.

You ran off the ship, Eustass throwing obscenities at you as you left. You just cackled, not really bothered by it. You immediately spotted a library and, being the person you were, ran to it. You headed inside, chatting up the librarian to learn more about the island that you were currently staying at. One never knows what information could be useful.

After you purchased several books, you left the librarian, thanking them for their time. As you walked with your bags, you felt a pain shoot up your bad arm and you dropped everything, immediately hissing and rubbing it. You cursed softly, just staring at the books on the ground. Fuck, you hated being like this. Sometimes, it felt like your arm was deteriorating every day. That you wouldn’t be able to use it at all before long.

As your thoughts spiraled, you felt a hand on your shoulder, pulling you from your thoughts. Killer knelt down next to you, picking your bags up. “Oh, you don’t have t-”

“Arm again?”

You pursed your lips, immediately falling silent as you stared at the ground. You refused to look at him right now. You felt…so ashamed. Pathetic, useless. Just about every word in the book, you were currently calling yourself.

“Y/n.” His voice brought you back to reality once more. “You probably strained yourself, don’t feel bad.”

Huh? He must’ve been able to read the confusion on your face. “I’ve seen you. In the lab.”

You still weren’t processing. “Yeah…that’s where I live…?” What was he getting at?

Killer sighed, shaking his head. You couldn’t see his face, but there was fondness in his voice. “Such a big brain, but sometimes can’t pick up on the smallest things.” The next came more of a mumble, “I’d know more than anyone.”

But, you were still stuck on the first part. “First of all, rude. I think. Second, huh?”

“I’ve seen you in the lab. Training. With that machine of yours.” Your eyes widened and you cleared your throat to try to cover up your shock.

“I’m not sure what-”

“I really wish you wouldn’t lie to me, y/n. You’re just as bad at it as your brother is.” You started sputtering as you tried to come up with some kind of retort, but just failed.

“I saw your practice dummy-” Your hands flew up to his helmet where his mouth would be. “Shh!!!”

“What…were you hoping to accomplish?”

You could feel your face turning red. “Shut up.” You looked over your shoulder, seeing Dive running in circles around Wire as they walked towards the market. “Come on,” you said, taking him by the hand and pulling him to the alleyway not far from the two of you.

He just followed, letting you have your little freakout.

“Okay, I’ve been trying to fight again, what about it?” You turned, looking at him.

“Why are you being so secretive?”

“Wait, how did you even know?”

Neither of you seemed to be answering each other’s questions. Killer finally gave in with a sigh. “When I go on night patrols, even though most of the crewmates don’t do it on their patrols, I always swing by and peek in the lab to make sure you hadn’t overworked yourself and collapsed on the ground or something.” He shrugged. “I mostly do it when we hadn’t seen you in a while. I know how you get sometimes.”

You felt your cheeks heat up, but you did your best to ignore all that. Honestly, you didn’t realize how much he seemed to notice. You pushed all that to the side, finally sighing yourself. You leaned against the wall behind you, running a hand through your hair.

“I don’t know…I just…feel embarrassed, you know? I grew up looking after everyone and fighting for them. Then to suddenly lose that ability? To lose everything I lived for? To be unable to protect those I care about?” Your mind was spiraling again and you couldn’t stop the words spilling out of your mouth at this point.

“I see where the captain gets his pride…I know your brother would love to help,” Killer mused as he watched you talk, but you hardly processed he spoke as your word vomit kept pouring out.

“I just don’t know what to do? I can’t even fucking hold my own. What if someone attacks and someone ends up hurt because of me? I couldn’t live with myself. I just feel like some kind of burden and maybe Tungsten regrets bringing me along.” You covered your face with your hands as your voice grew shaky. You were going full breakdown right in front of Killer.

You hadn’t even done this in front of Eustass. No one had ever seen you like this before. You were usually composed and able to keep it together long enough for no one else to see you like this.

“Sometimes I just hole myself up in the lab because I think it’s better than bothering everyone. I’m just…I don’t know…I just want to feel useful again.”

You felt your hands being pulled away from your face, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at the man before you. He wasn’t having it. “Look at me.” His voice was soft, patient. Slowly, your eyes trailed up to him only to immediately widen as you noticed that he had taken off his helmet so you could look him in the eyes. They were so beautiful, so intense. Breathtaking. He had one hand on the wall behind you and his helmet was tucked under the other arm.

And he was…so fucking close.

“Now, listen.” You just nodded, unable to do…literally anything. Hell, you weren’t even sure if you were going to be able to breathe.

“You’re absolutely not a burden. What happened back then wasn’t your fault in the slightest. I know me saying it isn’t going to really change what you think, so I’ll keep saying it for as long as I need until it does.”

“But if I-” The look he gave you made the words die on your lips and sent a shiver down your spine.

“There’s no point in dwelling on the past. What happened, happened. We’re all here together and that’s what matters, okay? You are the reason all of us are here, got that?” You…never really thought of it like that. “It’s just as you said. You saved our asses how many times? Captain and I would be long dead and gone had it not been for you. Same with Heat and Wire. We’re here because of you.” You swallowed hard, your head spinning.

“Not to mention, there’s plenty of shit that you do on the ship and in general. Might I remind you who taught me how to cook? Who taught the four of us to fight? Who taught Wire to smith? Who patches the lot of us up when we’re stupid and get ourselves hurt both after fights and just being dumb? Who gave Heat the ability to fucking breathe fire? Which, honestly, still absolutely wild to us. The list goes on. You don’t need to fight.” You just stared at him like a deer in headlights. Your eyes as big as saucers. You opened your mouth to try to say something - anything but it just wasn’t coming.

Killer shook his head. “And Captain doesn’t regret bringing you along either. He loves having you on the ship with him. I know he doesn’t say it, but he loves you a lot. You’re his ‘Bigs’, after all. I don’t think he would’ve kept the term of endearment if he didn’t care.” You felt tears welling in your eyes from the absolute whirlwind of emotions you were feeling right now.

“You’re the only person the captain will listen and adhere to. The rest of us just suggest things and he occasionally will listen to us, but you’re absolute. He might argue, yeah, but in the end, you’re the ultimate say in his eyes. He cares for you just as much as you care about him.” It was as if this man was seeing right through you and hitting each and every insecurity you had. Fuck, how did he know you so well? When the hell did this happen? What in the hell have you missed?

“Like I said, you don’t need to fight. All of us are more than happy to make sure nothing happens to you.” Honestly, this was the most you’ve heard Killer speak in one setting and you could listen to him talk all day. His voice was so smooth and calming. Shit, you needed to focus. He made that damn near impossible as he reached up, wiping your tears away. You had completely forgotten you were crying.

“None of us could hate you. I-” Killer stopped himself, shaking his head as he stood back on, placing his helmet back on. “Anyway. If you want, I’ll help you out. And I won’t tell the captain.”

To be honest, your head was still spinning and trying to process the validation monologue he had just delivered to you. This mental back and forth was absolutely exhausting and you wanted nothing more than to curl up and take a nap.

“Wait…what?” You blinked, sniffling and wiping at your eyes. You looked at him again, watching as he folded his arms across his chest. Fucker. You averted your gaze, knowing you wouldn’t be able to help stare. Unlike him, you didn’t have a helmet to help hide your eyes.

“I said, I’ll help you. Train you.” He nodded.

You stared at him in disbelief. He just completely tore you apart, built you back up, and was now offering to train you? Well, retrain. “Why?”

“A dummy only takes you so far,” he said with a shrug. “Even one crafted by a genius.” You could hear the smug smile in his voice. He was just as bad as your brother sometimes.

You felt your face turn red. Fuck.

“Ugh, fine. You’re right.”

“I know.”

He headed out of the alleyway with you in tow. “We’ll start tomorrow night.” You nodded, heading to the market with him. The both of you needed to restock the ship’s food as well as get things for tonight.

For the first time in a while, you felt light. Like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. You did wish for another weight to press into you, however. Quickly, you pushed those thoughts away. C’mon. Not with him right there. Have some class.

Then your mind drifted to the alleyway. His gaze, his arm on the wall, his chest.

Fuck, so much for a childhood crush.

The rest of the night went fairly smoothly. Aside from absolutely having a breakdown in front of Killer, everything else was fine. He didn’t bring it up or treat you any differently than he normally does - which you were more than thankful for. You just wanted to forget the whole thing…

Well, at least the parts where you were absolutely embarrassing. You still couldn’t believe you did that. In front of him of all people.

You weren’t in your thoughts long as you rounded the corner, running into someone. “Oh, sorry,” you mumbled, stepping back. Man, you needed to pay attention.

“Of fucking course it’s you.” Your head snapped up, seeing that new guy, Kese there. Well, he’d been here a few months at this point, but he was still the newest guy. Confusion contorted your face. Where was all this aggression coming from.

“Huh?” Was the only answer you could muster.

“‘Huh?’” He mocked, rolling his eyes with a scoff. “Do you do anything right?” That sent your mind reeling. What the hell was happening right now? You just stood there, blinking a few times as you tried to process what was going on.

“You just going to fucking stand there? Fuck, you’re so dense. I don’t know why they keep you around.”

That feeling of doubt was creeping back into your mind, but you tried to fight it off. You shook your head. “Hold on, what the fuck is your problem?” You glared at him.

“My problem is you.”

Not to puff your ego in any way, but you could not, for the life of yourself, think of why this guy wouldn’t like you. The both of you hardly fucking crossed paths. You spoke to him about one time and that was it. And it was introductions. He hardly even came into the lab to get patched up.

Actually, now that you thought about it, you don’t think he’d ever been in your lab before. You weren’t even sure if you’d seen him fight, but you weren’t ever out there when fighting happened, so you didn’t know.

“Me?” Was all you managed to say, still trying to math what was going on.

“Yes, you. You and your self entitled attitude.” Self entitled? What? “You walk around here all high and mighty just because you’re related to the captain. You think you’re untouchable.”

“Hold on. Wh-”

“The blatant disrespect you show our captain is astronomical. I’ve never seen anyone argue with anyone as much as you argue with that captain. And it’s just because you get to puff up your chest and feel better than everyone, isn’t it? Fuel your ego.”

You felt yourself deflating. “That’s not-”

“You’ve got some nerve to do it too. Especially considering all the captain does for you. Caters to your every need just because he feels obligated because you helped raise him.” He clicked his tongue and you flinched. “You don’t even really provide anything to the team either. Sure, you help cook but that’s only sometimes. You don’t help us fight, in fact, the captain is always preoccupied with making sure no harm comes to the ship just to make sure you’re not injured. He ends up getting himself hurt even more in the process because he can’t properly focus.”

“He doesn’t ha-”

“You don’t even fucking help us restock most of the time. You say you’re busy researching, but what the hell could you be researching that is so damn important that you can’t help out with something as small as restocking? Just admit it, you just hide out in there to coast by on the coattails of the captain.”

Your head was reeling and you were spiraling out of control. Every point of insecurity that Killer had eliminated came right back. He was hitting every point.

“You’re so self entitled that it drives me up the wall. Drives everyone up the wall. But everyone just deals with it because they know what you’ve done for the big four.” He was relentless in his attack and not giving you a moment to breathe. You still had no idea why he was doing this. Tears stung your eyes as your breathing caught in your throat.

“Everyone just tolerates you because they’re used to you now. They put on an act to keep you complacent.”

“Why are you doing this,” you whispered, your voice raw with emotion. You couldn’t even think of any kinds of retorts. It was as if the build up that Killer had done for you earlier today had been completely shattered. Now, you were wondering if it was even the truth. Maybe he was just trying to make you feel better because they were tired of your moping around. Your mood had been south as of late.

Fuck, maybe they were annoyed by you.

“Cause I’m tired of seeing the captain be held back and burdened by you. If you know what’s good for you, you’d stay out of the captain’s way. Hell, if I were you, I’d leave.” That was the final arrow that shot through your heart, you could no longer stand. You clutched your heart, feeling your world fall apart around you as you fell to the ground outside your lab. Were things really that bad? Were you really that bad? Was your brother that upset with you?

You wanted to go to your brother, to talk to him, to apologize, but you couldn’t bear to even go and see him. You didn’t want to bother him. You supposed that you did tend to forget he’s a big shot, very important captain. He wasn’t your snot nosed brother anymore. Same with the others.

With Kese’s words, your memories on the ship carried a darker tone as the venom of his words covered them with a dark veil, changing meanings between interactions.

As you sat there with your world crumbling and silently crying, the man left you there without another word.

#one piece #one piece x reader #one piece x you #killer one piece #killer x reader #am fics #cc #definitely named kese after an annoying as fuck coworker #massacre soldier killer

36 notes · View notes