The Mettle Of A Man; Part Sixteen

Fandom: Fallout (4)

Pairing: Eventual Paladin Danse/Female Sole Survivor

Rating: Holy shit M.

AN: A very special shoutout to @anonymouscosmos for all of their encouragement and support! You are a god among insects. I’d also like to thank the discord chat for enduring my nonsense, as ever. Enjoy!

Part One: ArcJet

Part Two: The Prydwen

Part Three: Orders

Part Four: Finding Brandis

Part Five: Weston Water And Oberland

Part Six: Meeting Preston And Matthew

Part Seven: Radstag And Radstorm

Part Eight: The Return To Sanctuary Hills

Part Nine: Domestic Ruminations

Part Ten: Institutionalized

Part Eleven: Two Weeks, Three Days

Part Twelve: Haylen’s Warning And The Glowing Sea

Part Thirteen: Under Fire

Part Fourteen: Dichotomy

Part Fifteen: The Litany Trial

[!TRIGGER WARNING!: This installment contains graphic depictions of gore and detailed descriptions of previous abuse. Stay safe!]

Her head had been blown open, or at least it felt that way. The explosion was so close to her face that her helmet had just peeled off like it was made out of shrapnel-laden papier-mâché.

  Sergeant Shaun 'Lucky' Cathan was flat on his back hardly a foot away from her, pinned under the weight of the debris that was slowly crushing his armor. 

  She couldn't move. Her arms and legs wouldn't respond. That blow to the head had been nearly fatal. She was trapped on her stomach, inches from him.

  "Backhand-" Cathan choked, his voice wet. His gauntlet fumbled for her own, large metal fingers gripping her hand. "End of the line for me, eh Handy?"

  She gurgled something, trying to talk. One eye still worked. Barely. It felt like it was full of glass every time she forced herself to blink. It was too dark to see much anyway, even if she squinted. Her head throbbed with the beat of her heart. 

  "Save--your strength, Vega." Cathan instructed. 

  She wasn't sure what strength he was even talking about. Her armor felt like it had collapsed down on her spine. "Sir-" Vega managed to say. "S'been an honor-"

  "Don't give me that-- shit , Vega." Cathan chuckled. "I was just another dog of war. You'll get out of this. Go back to that man of yours, have a few kids, live your life." He coughed, wheezing, "my time is up, Handy."

  "No, no I'm-" Backhand tried to pull him closer, tried to get upright. Pain jolted down her back and legs and she halted, trembling. "I c-can't leave you here, Sarge." She groaned, knowing deep down that it was futile but refusing to give up .

  Cathan's grip tightened briefly. "It's alright, Handy." Her CO murmured. "It's alright. Make sure Tabitha has me buried on American soil. Or chuck my ashes in the harbor, yeah? Piss off all those Cambridge fucks." He chuckled.

  Backhand nodded as best as she could, the tears stinging painfully against the flayed skin of her face. "I will. Promise."

  The rubble overhead creaked and groaned, dust falling down on top of them. "Won't be long now." Cathan mused faintly, "Not long at all…"

  …

  Danse struggled to sit up and roll Vega onto her back. His own injuries faded to the background of his mind as she laid unresponsive, blood slowly pooling in the dirt beneath her left side. Her mouth opened and closed in a spasm; her eyes had rolled back in her skull and her fingers twitched erratically. 

  Have to hold pressure. Stop the bleeding. Danse numbly pressed his shaking hands down on her side just below her ribs, his body suddenly awash in a cold sweat as he realized just how much blood she was losing. He could almost hear Haylen rambling about the arteries, internal bleeding, penetrating damage, Worwick and Brach and Dawes and Keane and Danse felt like he was going to be sick. 

  "H... Haylen! " He yelled desperately. It was the only thing he could think to do.

  Then, against all odds, startling the everliving daylights out of him, Vega sat up . " Oh , you fuckin' asshole! " She hollered at Maxson around Danse's body while the paladin scrambled to attempt to stem the flow of fresh blood that her motion sent spurting out. "You really fuckin' shot me?! You're the worst kind of dick! " 

  Danse was flabbergasted. Her state was clearly compromised, how was she even conscious-

  "Fuck!" Vega growled in pain, dropping her forehead to rest on Danse's chest. "Oh fuck, fuck fuck you, you told me Danse was fuckin' dead, you liar! You expect me to just stand by and let you kill him in front of me?!" She continued to rant at Maxson, her voice muffled somewhat by Danse's shirt. "You dumb fuckin' prick, you stupid fuckin' dipshit motherfuck son of a cockass! This ain't exactly my first time gettin' fuckin' shot, you fuckin' fuck!"

  Danse realized that Arthur hadn't said a damn thing, possibly just as bewildered and awestruck by Elizabeth's impressive grasp of blue-streaked vernacular as he himself was.

  "Paladin Brandis, if I may…?" Haylen's voice was almost inaudible over Backhand's continued snarling. Danse jerked his attention away from Elizabeth, trying to blink the sweat out of his eyes in order to determine the field scribe's location.

  "Scribe, get the hell back behind the line!" Maxson barked. 

  Heavy footfalls heralded the arrival of Rhys and Haylen, the knight using his power armor like a shield to protect the scribe as if they were out in the field. Haylen was suddenly there , on her knees in the gravel next to Danse and Elizabeth. The paladin's eyes were now blinded with tears of gratitude and he huffed out a breath. "Danse, I'll get to you in a second." Haylen said softly, patting his hand. "Let me have her, okay?"

  "Haylen, I…" the large man didn't know what to say, his words failing him. He clutched pitifully at the scribe's hands, sure that he was gripping too tight.

  "I've got her, Danse. It's okay." Scribe Haylen soothed.

  "Yeah Danse, s'okay." Backhand said blearily, "s'Haylen, she's great. We love Haylen." Her head lolled back like it was too heavy for her to hold up. "Haylen made sure I got to eat and stuff."

  " What? " Danse rasped. 

  "The tactics Elder Maxson used during her incarceration…" Haylen trailed off, grimacing and then continuing in an undertone, "I made sure Rhys smuggled in something for her when he brought Brandis' meals."

  "Vega, Jesus Christ, I'm so sorry." Danse apologized needlessly, resting his forehead against Elizabeth's as he supported her neck. "I didn't think anything would happen to you. I...I didn't think in general, I guess." He admitted.

  Vega smiled . "Hey, I'd say whatever shit I went through was a pretty decent tradeoff for finding out that you didn't bite it after all." She slurred. "Missed you."

  " Christ , Vega." Danse muttered in dismay, fighting to untie her hands. Haylen took over after a moment, the scribe's fingers infinitely more steady than his own.

  "I need a Stim and a bloodpack!" Haylen announced after examining Vega's abdomen, looking up worriedly. 

  Not a soul moved. The only sound was the noise of Maxson wriggling in the grip of the armored knight who finally had him secured. "Listen to the scribe!" Brandis shouted to the mute crowd. "You have a sister bleeding in front of you and you would be still and silent? Where are the brave, compassionate soldiers I once knew? Knights! Scribes! Are you not Brotherhood?"

  Two aspirants finally elbowed their way through the throng, making a wide berth around Maxson. One of them bore a large canvas bag. "Good, good work. Drop it here." Haylen instructed, unrolling her field kit. "Can I get a scribe with steady hands and another knight for the opposite side?" She called. 

  A knight thundered past Maxson, the man throwing Danse of all people a haphazard salute before he took up his post at the other end of the group. Maxson practically seethed with rage. "Knight, how dare you salute that--that thing! "

  "That thing is still Paladin Danse of the Brotherhood of Steel, Maxson." Brandis growled. "He won the trial fair and square."

  "I will not allow it to live!" Maxson shrieked hysterically, struggling against the iron hold of the knight bear-hugging him. "I don't care how many of you I have to take down, Danse dies today! "

  "Maxson!" Brandis chided. "Do you even hear yourself? You sound insane! Think about what you're saying before you do something you'll regret!"

  "Not before he dies! "

  "Which would you rather be known as, Maxson? The abuser or the synth fucker?" Maxson froze at the sound of Danse's voice. The burly paladin shot the elder a bloodied sneer, his head tilted to the side at an almost arrogant angle. "After all, you got fucked by a synth." What the hell was he saying? Danse felt unhinged , words flippant, his tired limbs barely cooperating as he forced himself up on his knees and then to his feet. "You let a synth fuck you, Arthur." 

  " Abomination -"

  "You ordered a synth to fuck you." Danse reminded him, voice grating as his words came faster. "Demanded it to fuck you. Abused it. Threatened it with a certain death mission if it didn't. Then gave it that mission anyway." Danse rubbed at some crusted blood beneath his blackened right eye, grimacing. "Does it make it better if you didn't know I was a synth? Because then , you have to justify the reality that you molested a soldier in a compromised emotional state utilizing your privileged position of authority. Can you accept that , Maxson?"

  "You...Maxson, is this true?" Brandis asked incredulously.

  "That thing is clearly lying!" Maxson scoffed, looking around at the spellbound crowd like he expected everyone to agree with him. "Dammit, I am the elder -"

  "Did you hope that I would die out here, Arthur? Or did you assume that I would come crawling back to the Capital Wasteland after my inevitable failure in the Commonwealth?" Danse cut him off bitterly. "Did you think I would be easier to break once I had lost everything , Maxson?"

  "He always fights with Danse!" A tiny squire chimed in. Danse hadn't realised that Maxson had Ingram summon the damn children to watch their trial. "We heard them fight!"

  "Silence, brat! " Maxson screamed, his face purpling with fury. "I am the elder of this chapter, last of the Maxson line, and I will be given the respect I deserve! "

  "Cade's records can verify my story!" Danse shouted hoarsely for everyone to hear, his shoulders heaving with emotion. "Every time we engaged, I did not escape unscathed. Nearly every injury was documented. The dates will align with high-stress situations, and I'll stake my life on there being a long stretch of shit mood during the absence of your preferred punching bag, Elder! "

  " Liar! "

  "Abuser!" Danse yelled in reply, "murderer! You killed Cutler, through your biased orders! You killed Knight Astlin, Scribe Farris, Knight Varham! You killed my brothers and sisters!" Danse's fists clenched tight enough to ache. "And for what, Arthur? For a synth? Or for a man that had no interest in you? Either way, I refuse to accept their blood on my hands, Maxson!"

  " You killed them and you know it!" Maxson shrieked, kicking his legs desperately. "All you had to do was obey me, Danse! Was your pride worth their lives?"

  "There was once a time in my life where I would have done damn near anything you asked of me." His anger petering out, all Danse felt now was weary and bruised. "I loved the Brotherhood, Maxson. I still do. But the path we have taken under your leadership is heinous."

  "Don't you dare to lecture me about devotion, you mechanical mockery! " Maxson retorted.

  "This body may be synthetic, but my heart and mind…" Danse paused, saluting once more. " Those belong to the Brotherhood, Maxson. To my brothers and sisters in arms. Nothing can change that. Not even the knowledge of my true identity."

  "That's what you think!" Arthur flailed in the knight's grip, trying in vain to escape. No doubt so he could pitch himself at the paladin one final time.

  "Elder Maxson, through your words and through your deeds, I deem you unfit to lead our chapter of the Brotherhood of Steel at this point in time." Brandis announced abruptly. "As the senior ranking officer, I, Paladin Brandis, will function as the interim elder until we receive proper instructions from our superiors." He removed his helmet, staring down at Arthur sternly. 

  The young man was quite the pitiful sight, bedraggled from trying to beat Danse within an inch of his life as well as from his struggling afterwards. He still looked mad enough to kill, those blue eyes almost crackling with pent-up fury. "You planned this, didn't you?!" His paranoia on full display, Maxson made no attempt to maintain any sort of composure. "Just how many synths have infiltrated our chapter? Well Brandis?! "

  "Arthur, that's enough ." The senior paladin said in reply, his tone measured. "Don't make an even bigger fool of yourself. Bow out while you still have some dignity." He sighed. "Perhaps the stress of this campaign has been too heavy of a burden to bear for you. I sympathize, but I cannot permit you to carry on in this manner, Maxson." Brandis raised his eyes, scanning the crowd. "Cade! Knight-Captain Cade, please see to Maxson. He is obviously unwell."

  …

  Vega flickered in and out of consciousness. The weeks of abuse culminating in this final (though inadvertent) attempt to end her seemed to have nearly been successful. She only barely remembered Haylen treating her wound, mumbling out an apology to the younger woman for leaning so much weight on her. She caught snippets of Danse and Maxson shouting at each other, bits of the trauma that Danse had endured coming tumbling out and making Vega wish that she wasn't half-dead so she could at least flip Maxson off.

  " Rest , Vega ." Haylen had ordered. " You need rest ."

  And really, who was Backhand to refuse? 

  When next she opened her eyes, she was greeted by a canvas ceiling overhead. Vega squinted a little at the brightness of it. How long have I been out for?

  "Welcome back, General." That familiar voice snapped her out of her staring contest with the tent above her and she rolled her head to the side, unable to help her smile at the sight of Danse. Still a little bruised and banged-up, but alive . 

  Tears streaked down her cheeks and Backhand wished that she could have stopped them, sniffling loudly and covering her face.

  "General Vega, there's no need for that." The paladin chided her softly. Something bumped against her knuckles and she realized after a second that Danse was attempting to give her glasses back. 

  Vega accepted the glasses mutely, grabbed Danse's hand and used his arm as leverage to pull herself up off the cot. 

  "Wait, Elizabeth you-" The paladin began to protest, rising to his feet to stop her. Her legs nearly gave out but Danse managed to steady her, one large hand splayed on the small of her back. "You shouldn't be upright yet, Vega." He scolded.

  I missed you. I thought you were dead. The words tangled up in her mouth and instead Backhand mumbled, "I thought I missed you." Danse's brows furrowed in confusion and she hurried to correct herself, "I mean--I...I thought you were dead!"

  "I needed some time to regroup. Straighten my head out. Heal." The paladin explained quietly. "The O'Brians nursed me back to health."

  "What happened , though?"

  "What happened to you , Vega?" Danse asked instead, gripping her elbows carefully to keep her upright. 

  Backhand shrugged weakly. "Maxson thought I knew you were a synth."

  " I didn't even know I was a synth." Danse huffed, thick eyebrows raising once again. "How on earth would you have known?"

  "Maybe he was going on a witch hunt, trying to get me to confess even though I wasn't guilty of anything." She closed her eyes as she mumbled, "I missed you."

  "I thought of you every day." Danse replied bluntly. Her head shot up and she stared at him, watching as a flush crept up his neck. "I er, I...I am not good at these sorts of things," he admitted. "But it's true. I thought of you and...and of your son. Of the life you should have had. When Preston tracked me down, we realized that something must have gone wrong. So I...came back." 

  Oh . She hated the disappointed pit that yawned open in her stomach. She should have known that he wasn't thinking of her in the same way that she had thought of him. 

  Backhand rested her forehead on his chest, willing her tears to abate. "We need to get them out of the Institute." She said thickly. "All of them. Anyone that will come, Danse."

  "I think you and I should speak to Pal-- Elder Brandis. He has expressed interest in working with the Minutemen." Danse sighed heavily, then continued, "I cannot recommend that we work exclusively with the Brotherhood. There are years of prejudice that have been beaten into these men and women. The allowance of my presence is a show of good faith, but I don't know if I trust the rank and file to storm the Institute without turning it into a massacre." He gave her a wry smile. "I cannot blame them. Even knowing what I am now, it's going to take me some time to remove my knee-jerk reaction."

  "There's always something else to do." She wasn't trying to complain , but God she was tired .

  His facial hair brushed against her forehead, scraping the skin lightly. "I know. What was it you said in the Glowing Sea? 'A run ashore'?" He queried while giving her forearms a gentle squeeze, as if to comfort her.

  "I thought you were dead." She hadn't meant to say it again, watching his eyes go dark and kicking herself for bringing it back up.

  "I suppose I was, for a time." Danse murmured, his expression troubled.

  "I... please don't do that to me again." Vega begged. Her hands fisted in his fatigues, wrinkling the worn fabric. "This is going to sound really dumb and really selfish, but please . Don't."

  "When you thought I was dead, did you..." Danse hesitated. "I mean, did you really miss me? I'm not even...well, I'm not a..." He cast his eyes around, narrowing them like he was physically searching for the word he wanted to use. "Human." He finally managed to say, the admission obviously paining him. "I'm a freak of nature, Vega. A perversion of science and an example of where mankind has gone wrong--"

  "Danse." Backhand cupped his jaw, her palms smoothing over the bristle of his stubble as she coaxed him to look at her. "No offense, but you cannot be this stupid."

  "What do you mean?" The paladin asked, his confusion endearingly evident. "I'm not...how am I being…?"

  Backhand blinked. Maybe he could be that stupid. "You're probably the most human person I've ever met, Danse. The way you care about your squadron, the way you've helped me...look, I wasn't upset about you being a synth, I was upset about you being dead ."

  "Oh." Danse breathed. "Really? You... really? Me being a synth wasn't…?" His words kept faltering, uncertainty shining through with every hitch. 

  " You , Danse. I cried about you being gone ."

  "Elizabeth…" 

  "So don't you dare scare me like that ever again, got it?" Backhand leaned forward, boldly pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.

  "I--yes. Understood, Knight. Uh, General." Danse stammered, his fingers absently touching the spot she had kissed. "W-We should...go speak to Elder Brandis. If you believe you can walk a short distance? I know better than to ask you to stay put and be patient."

  "Permit me the usage of your arm to keep me upright and yes, we can absolutely go."

  ...

  Please don't do that to me again .

  She had missed him, she said. She had mourned him, even. Cried over him. Danse's head was spinning.

  How could that even be possible? How could she...he was a machine . 

  No time left to consider such weighty problems, unfortunately, as he found that far too soon the two of them were approaching what had formerly been Maxson's quarters and now served as Brandis' war room.

  "Ad Victoriam, Paladin Danse and General Vega!" Elder Brandis greeted them warmly with a loose salute, gesturing around the war table afterwards. "Kells, Cade, Ingram, Quinlan, Doctor Li, I trust you all need no introductions?"

  The briefing was, as they usually were, tedious. Nothing brief about it, if he was being brutally honest. Vega held her ground though, which was all he really needed.

  "You boys aren't tyrants or fuckin' warlords. Not while I have any sort of say in the matter." She said sharply. "If you want Minutemen support, we are working as a team and the Minutemen have uninhibited access to all information as it is gathered. That means we'll need Quinlan's full cooperation." She held up a hand, staving off Quinlan's outburst. " Only in regards to the Institute. We don't want your super-secret Spec Ops sealed Brotherhood case files, so don't get those boxers in a bunch." Cade snorted and Proctor Quinlan looked absolutely scandalized, even as he grudgingly nodded. 

  "Now, General, this is all well and good but what does the Brotherhood get out of this bargain?" Kells asked pointedly. "As far as I can see, we're the integral piece in this plan."

  "' As far as you can see ' is an apt phrase, Lancer-Captain Kells." Backhand's tone was cool. This was General Vega for certain, the woman who had whipped the Minutemen back into shape. "Because what you can't see are the rest of my operations. The Minutemen aren't the only force I have at my disposal, just the most obvious." She leaned in a little, her eyes cold as ice behind the lenses of her glasses. "Do you really want to test me on my home turf, Kells? After everything that's happened?"

  "Not testing you, General Vega." The lancer-captain clarified, "simply identifying what seems to be an imbalance in the negotiations."

  "I got you Doctor Li." Vega retorted. "Without her, your Liberty Prime would still be a pile of junk. I've gotten your scribes tons of information to sift through, I've done everything the former elder asked of me."

  "Lancer-Captain Kells, if I might also interject?" Danse asked hesitantly, cringing on the inside as everyone turned to look at him like they had forgotten he was even there. Kells inclined his head after a moment. "Sir, we cannot be so quick to discredit our position. Due to our aerial location, we will be within the perfect striking distance to any sort of localized, above-ground assault."

  "I am more than aware of our position, Paladin . But that does not negate the fact that we have a much larger stake in this than anyone else-"

  "Larger than the locals who have been getting body-snatched for years?" Vega cut him off. "Let's not forget that myself and your new elder were starved and tortured for weeks , while the rest of you sat around and twiddled your thumbs out of fear and respect." She spat. "Don't fuckin' come to me with your scale-tipping bullshit . It took a synth to make you all sack up, and I don't intend to let you forget that." The woman straightened up, looking grim. "I'm not giving you anything else. You can either work with us, or you can keep pitching yourself against the Institute until they've all slipped away and you're left with nothing but an empty facility and unanswered questions."

  "She's right." Doctor Li affirmed tersely. "They won't just wait around to be pummeled. This isn't the Enclave. The board of directors will do everything in their power to avoid you and waste your resources at the same time."

  "We cannot afford to entrench ourselves in a drawn-out assault, Kells." Brandis reasoned. "When we strike, we have to do it decisively. Give it everything we've got and cut off the head."

  Kells nodded, seeming satisfied. "Understood, Elder Brandis. I meant no disrespect, General Vega."

  "None taken. I'm still recovering from getting the shit kicked out of me, so my manners aren't up to par quite yet." Vega rested her elbows on the table, steepled fingers tapping her chin. "I won't take anything from you that you're unable to give, Lancer-Captain Kells. If I can avoid using the BoS altogether, I will." She murmured, tilting her head. "I need to get in touch with some people before I can offer anything concrete, but once Lieutenant Garvey knows I'm alive I'm sure the rest will learn fast. We'll rally and plan accordingly." 

  "Well then, what are we waiting for?" Ingram asked eagerly. "C'mon Vega, let's head to the comm deck and get things squared away!"

  "Excellent plan. You two are dismissed." Brandis agreed, making a shooing gesture at the two women. Once they had departed, he turned his attention to Cade. "Do you have faith in our medical capabilities, Knight-Captain?" 

  Cade nodded. "We had been planning to attack them head on anyways, Brandis. If we're truly going in a little less 'shock and awe', we may actually tip more towards over-prepared."

  "I'm not certain how useful their teleporter will be to us once we get inside. I'm sure they'll lock it down with great expedience. However there is another possible egress." Quinlan spread the old blueprint out on the war table, fingers indicating a small service tunnel. "Now, if their measurements are accurate, power armored troops will not fit in this tunnel. But unarmored individuals most certainly will. This includes any…" he hesitated, like he was preparing himself to say it, "... refugees , or non-hostile denizens." 

  Quinlan referring to synths as anything but had Danse's head spinning. Vega was an absolute marvel .

  "It will be heavily guarded." Doctor Li warned. "They like to pretend that there's only one way in or out. Their precious molecular relay ."

  "Danse, I think you ought to take point when it comes to securing this tunnel." Kells remarked, making the paladin straighten up. "We won't be able to gauge our level of involvement until we have a full muster from Vega, but I'd like a senior-ranked soldier in the mix. And I know how much you enjoy being boots on the ground." The older man offered Danse a thin smile.

  Danse was so moved he needed to take a moment, finally choking out a ' yes sir ' with his hand over his heart. That Kells, even after all the years of growing to despise synths, would trust him with such a task-!

  Perhaps they did stand a chance, after all.

Part Seventeen

The Way of Time (Rdr2 fanfic) - Chapter 8 (2/3)

I’m a little late with this, I know. I’ve been a little busy lately. University stuff.

Part 1 here: https://fedeipox.tumblr.com/post/643045553196908544/the-way-of-time-rdr2-fanfic-chapter-8-13

Chapter 8 (2/3) - The future that awaits us all

Words: 2k

“See? We have found something! We have found a job!” she exclaimed jumping up and down as soon as they returned to the street.

“We? I have found the job.”

She stopped her jumping and looked at him right in the eye.

“Hey, if it wasn’t for me…”

“Uncle gave me the idea to take a bounty, that’s the only reason why I followed you inside the sheriff’s.”

He didn’t know why he was saying those things, to annoy her maybe, to see what had happened if she got angry. The result was one of her funny faces: she opened her mouth of a couple of inches, outraged by his behavior, and Arthur had to turn around to hide a smile.

“You are terrible! Worst than a child!” she yelled at his back.

“Oh, now I am the child” he chuckled as he started to walk away.

There was a pause and for a moment Arthur thought she had started to cry or something like that, but when he turned around he found her standing still in the middle of the road with her arms crossed on her chest.

“I’ll come with you and take half of the money” she stated.

“What?” exclaimed Arthur walking back to her.

“You? A bounty hunter?” he sneered.

“He’s just a doctor, how dangerous can he be? I’ll help you and take half of the money.”

Arthur brought a hand to his face rubbing his eyes, but unable to restrain another smile. Was it what he wanted? Did he want her to go with him?

“How do you think to do that? Uh? You can barely ride a horse and you have no strength to deal with a grown up man.”

“I can ride a horse, at least… in theory. And you’ll take care of the man. I’ll just help you as I can.”

“Which is?” 

“I don’t know! We will find something.”

Arthur didn’t want to argue there, in the middle of the street, with that incredibly stubborn girl, about bounties and money. He thought that it was better if they delayed that conversation.

“Yeah, alright. For now we better go back to Uncle, he’ll be wondering where we are.”

They walked back to the general store where they found a dozed off Uncle, with a bottle of whiskey in his hands.

“Yeah, you’re right. He was just wondering were we were” joked Emily and turning around she walked back again.

“Where are you going now?” asked Arthur in exasperation.

“To find something. I didn’t come here to do what I do in camp.”

They walked in front of all the stores of the town, looking at everything but never stopping. Valentine had nothing of a city, nothing interesting, no attraction, and Emily wondered if that was due to the fact that they were in 1899, or just because there was actually nothing there.

“You think we can visit some other town someday?” she asked to Arthur.

“I don’t know. Where are we going?” he complained.

“Like… I’d like to see Saint Denis. I wonder how it was… how it is, now.”

“It’s a city, how you expect it to be? Can you tell me where are you going?”

“Just around.”

“Just around?”

“If you want to go, Arthur, go. I know this place, I’ve been here one hundred times already. I know how to move.”

Arthur sighed but didn’t stop following her. She might know the way but she didn’t know people and how dangerous they could be. He kept her pace fearing she would have never stopped, when she did stop… in front of the gunsmith!

“What, you want to buy a gun now?” he asked half amazed, half perplexed.

“No, not really” she said, and walked inside.

“Hello, Miss. How do you do?” asked the owner.

“Hi, I wanted to know if you still have those, erm, Cattleman Revolvers you talked about” she asked.

What was she doing? Did she really want to buy a gun? Why? To protect herself of course. What had happened if she had found another O’Driscoll waiting around the corner just to hurt her or one of her friends? Obviously, she wasn’t thinking about using it, but just own it to scare the shit out of people who bothered her.

“Yes, Miss, I have them.”

“Can I see one?”

“The hell are you doing?” asked Arthur completely shocked.

As the man made a little bow and walked in the other room, Emily turned to look at Arthur who couldn’t take his wide open eyes from her.

“What happened to the ‘I don’t like guns’?” he asked.

“I don’t like them, but I have to defend myself somehow, don’t you think? And, who said I want to use it?”

“You buy a gun just to show it? That’s stupid.”

“That’s smart thinking. If people see one, they don’t mess with you.”

Arthur laughed. He owned definitely more than one, but people messed with him anyway. Or he messed with them?

The man came back with a shiny brand new revolver that he delivered to Emily’s insecure hands. She took the thing and gripped it, feeling its weight and consistency. It was incredible how something so small and useless when not charged could make her feel so different as she held it: it was like that weapon was giving her new strength, new courage, new certainties. She felt like she could walk down the road but not as a simple citizen, but as the owner of the road, or the entire Valentine.

Yes, the power of that thing was dangerous, and becoming aware of her own feelings she got scared and immediately put it down on the counter.

“I’m sorry. I-I can’t” she murmured and ran out of the shop.

Where was all that boldness coming from? First she had imposed her will on Arthur, then the harsh reply, and finally the terrible idea to buy a gun? What was happening to her?

“Hey, are you okay?” asked Arthur coming out of the shop with a slight worried face.

“Yes, I’m sorry, you were right. I shouldn’t even think about buying one of those devilish things.”

She was back to her senses. It was like Arthur had just seen another girl inside that shop, someone with darker intents, and he couldn’t tell if he liked that one better than the real one.

“Come, let’s keep walking” he suggested. 

...

Walking was a good way to clear her mind, and so she did. She tried to understand where that crazy idea had come from, but she couldn’t. She was so lost in her thoughts that she understood where she was only when she saw the well-known door of Keane’s saloon. 

“Do you want to drink something?” she asked to Arthur.

He raised his eyebrows and nodded, but without being absolutely sure about how to interpret her suggestion. They walked in the plain and modest room, with only three customers inside. One was seated at one of the tables, or it is better to say, he was laying on one of the tables, fallen asleep dead drunk - Arthur and Emily didn’t pay much attention to him - but the two at the bar where definitely more interesting. 

One was rather old, and drunk too, while the other, a little younger, with glasses and a big book opened in front of him, looked like some sort of intellectual. Emily followed Arthur to the bar, who ordered a couple of whiskeys tossing a coin on the counter, and in the meantime she listened to the mental conversation the two men were having.

“Oh, this isn’t going very well” moaned the intellectual addressed by the old man as ‘Plato’ with a gesture of desperation.

“Are you a writer, mister?” asked Emily.

“If I can call myself so, yes, I’m a writer, and it will be the end of me” he complained.

“What are you writing about?”

“Him” he harshly replied, pointing one of his fingers to the old man who now was asleep on the bar.

“Who’s this?” asked Arthur from behind Emily’s back and turning around she noticed the little glass full of amber liquid just waiting for her.

“Jim ‘Boy’ Calloway” answered the writer. 

“Who?” asked Emily and Arthur in chorus.

“The gunslinger. Fastest left-handed draw that ever drew breath.”

“You ever heard of him?” asked Arthur to Emily who shook her head.

The man started telling all the great deeds of that unknown famous gunslinger and in the meantime Emily found the courage to swallow her glass of whiskey which, as expected, made her throat burn.

“Excuse me, mister, but what’s your name?” she asked as she recovered the ability to speak.

Maybe she knew the man’s name or the title of the book he wanted to write about Jim ‘Boy’ Calloway.

“Theodore Levin.”

No, the name told her nothing. He must have been one of those poor deluded who wanted to reach fame with their writing, but that in the end history had sadly forgotten. 

“Sorry, but… I don’t understand. If you hate him so much, why are you waisting your time writing about him?”

“I wouldn’t hate him if he didn’t make it impossible for me to write this blessed book!”

Then, just like he received the illumination, he turned around on his stool to looked at the two of them.

“What?” asked Arthur.

“I am really sorry to ask, but… will you help me? I am kind of desperate, I’ve been working on this thing for months now and I haven’t took anything out of it.”

“How?” asked Emily.

How could they help him? Making up the things he had to write? Trying to take out the informations from Mr. Calloway by force?

“There’s a whole list of gun fighters” said Levin taking a couple of what looked like photographs from his bag.

“Legends, every last one. Emmet Granger, Flaco Hernandez, Billy Midnight…”

Emily took the photos the man gave her, one by one, looking at the mean faces on the black and white paper, but having no idea of who those people where.

“Black Belle.”

Emily’s heart lost a beat.

“What? Black Belle?” she exclaimed.

“Do you know her?” asked Levin.

“Of course, she’s a legend among children!”

“Children?” asked Arthur perplexed.

“Black Belle in the Forest of Berries. Never heard of it?”

But Emily stopped right away, her mouth had said too much and now the writer was looking at her suspiciously.

“Sorry, wrong person” she lied. “Anyway, you want us to find them, and then what?” she asked to divert.

“Well, ask them about him” he said nodding towards Calloway. 

“And what happens when they don’t… collaborate, let’s say” said Arthur taking another drink.

Emily hadn’t been looking at him, but she could perfectly tell he had had more than one already.

“Well, you look like someone with… experience, sir. I don’t think it will be a problem to convince them or… silence them, when necessary.”

Emily raised her eyebrows. Was he saying what she thought he was saying?

“Y-you mean…” she started, but Arthur interrupted her.

“What’s our profit?”

“Half of the proceeds once the book is published” said the writer without hesitation.

“Well, I’ll see what I can do, then” replied Arthur heading unexpectedly to the door.

“Oh, wait” Levin called out. “Get photos” he said handing an old photo-camera to Emily who opened her mouth in amazement.

“Whoah! This is… I can’t believe it.”

“And there are notes on the back of those photos, they should tell you where you can find them.”

“Well, we’ll let you know what we find out, Mr. Levin” said Emily and she shook hands with the man before she and Arthur walked out of the saloon. 

“Black Belle in the Forest of Berries? Really?” asked an ironic Arthur. 

“Hey, it’s not my fault if your ‘legendary gunslingers’ are no-one in the future.”

“For me they are no-one even now, but I guess that’s what awaits us all: become no-one.”

Emily was struck by his words, but she couldn’t but agree. As a matter of fact, she had never heard of the Van der Linde gang, nor the O’Driscolls, nor anybody else. And poor Black Belle had moved from being a famous gun fighter, to a children book heroine. What were those lives worth if no-one was going to remember them in the future?

Chapter 1

Pairing: Cassian X MC (for this chapter)

Warning: Light swearing and check out this post to know how we are gonna go about this mini series 😊

Word count: 3K

Taglist: @choices-love-affair @miyakokurono @openheart12 @trappedinfandoms @noboundariesplease @nooruleman @madampugzalot @sekizincimektup @dailydoseofchoices @choicesfanaf @choiceskaavya @junggoku @flyawayboo @whatchique @vampiregirlsblog (let me know if you want to added or removed from the taglist 😊)

Songs: Heartless by The Weeknd

I love parties.

What is not to love? The free buffet of food, drinks and woman can make a guy’s day. I had got off work and was hella tired but, at the same time, I was in a celebratory mood. I had just returned from the Caribbean, finishing another WITSEC case, with the witness returned to his family. The reunion was so emotional and the mom made me sit down and eat with them.

There was so much love there and it made me feel like an outsider. I’m still unfamiliar with ‘love’ as a concept. Be it, familial or romantic. It’s foreign to me.

My mom died from a robbery gone wrong when I was just 8 years. My dad raised me after my mom died. He used to be so busy and I think I know why. He was grieving and he threw himself into work so that it could reduce the burden on his heart. But, he didn’t make me feel neglected. He loved me and I often used to think of him as a superhero. The Sunday’s where we would play ball in the park are one of the many good memories I have of him.

He passed away when I was 13 years and it was the worst phase in my life. I don’t know why, but nobody was ready to adopt me or foster me so I was thrown into an orphanage.

It was hell on earth.

The kids there were so primal and aggressive. Regular fights would break out and I swear they were so crazy that it seemed like one of the kids would die. I had to sleep with an eye open all the time.

It was a very dingy and dark place. Water supply and living accommodation sucked. But at least, the school I went to was good. At the age of 15, I swore to study so hard that I could get out of the country.

I mean, Kenmare had its pretty sites and wonderful views but when it’s dark, all the monsters come out.

I got into the army as soon as I graduated high school. It wasn’t much but at least I didn’t have to go to bed with an empty stomach. I started saving up money by doing odd jobs so that I could collect enough to get into a university in the States.

So, I slogged my ass and got a scholarship to Boston University. I packed my bags and never looked back at my fucked up childhood. I worked on re-inventing me. I was no longer the scrawny and scared 16 year old, but I was the 20 year old heart throb, Cassian Keane.

I always wanted to get into law enforcement. Think of it like a tribute to my mom. I don’t remember much but I can remember some memories. Like how she loved baking and singing songs as she worked in the house. I do remember that she loved me so much.

But, the one thing I’ve learnt is that, you should learn from the past but not hold on to it. I wouldn’t have ever moved on if I kept on crying about how life treated me.

Just shove it in a safe and don’t open it.

As the lift soared to the terrace level I closed my eyes and tried to clear my head of all the thoughts running in my head.

The lift dinged and I opened my eyes.

Show time, Keane.

——————————————————————————————————–

It was a high profile party. I did see a couple of actors and CEO’s of various companies. They were all chatting animatedly and drinking expensive champagne in crystal flutes.

A band was playing lively music which could be heard through the speakers and the entire terrace was decorated with fairy lights. I was on the 60th floor and I could clearly see the sun glinting over the the bay, making the water sparkle and glimmer.

In short the area was sophisticated as fuck.

And I couldn’t help but feel out of place. I usually play off all my discomfort with my nonchalance but still no matter how much I pretend, I know that this is not my scene.

I took the overpriced whiskey which the waiters were serving and my eyes roamed around the party, observing the people, the place and the closest exit. It had become like a second nature. Observe, map the area and stay alert.

As my eyes wandered, it locked on to the most gorgeous blue eyes I had ever seen in my life. She was standing there chatting with a friend. Her luscious shiny brown locks fell over her shoulder as she laughed at something the other person said.

She was wearing a red number, which fit her like a second skin, making all the curves prominent. She had a great ass, not gonna lie. And her skin… It was caramel in colour and under the setting sun, she looked exotic.

In short one of the most beautiful creatures God had made on this earth. I just couldn’t take my eyes off her.

I could see the friend leaning in to tell something to her and at that moment her cerulean eyes met mine.

And it seemed like the world stopped.

People disappeared until it was just me and her.

She gave a confident smile and I swear my heart dropped.

She headed inside and I followed her, like a sailor to a siren.

It wasn’t really hard to find her among the crowd near the bar. Almost all eyes were on her, stunned by her sphere of prettiness. You really needed to be blind to ignore such a beauty.

By the time I reached her, I could hear the sleazeball of a bartender shamelessly hitting on her. The jealousy that I felt made me uneasy but, I shrugged it off.

What would I know about that anyway?

I saw the discomfort and the scowl on her face. She was struggling to keep him at bay so I decided to step in.

I mean, who doesn’t love a knight in the shining armor?

Smoothly cutting in, I spoke in a playful voice, “Did I hear that right? The barkeep’s giving away drinks for a kiss? Sounds like something the whole bar would want to know.”

The barkeep’s face turned red. “It’s not an open invitation.” He replied curtly.

“Or a welcome one for that matter.” The beautiful woman responded, her eyes swirling with anger.

“Then it’s only fair her drink should be free of cost to make up for the..” I leaned forward on my elbows and gave him a chilling stare. “…inconvenience.”

Grumbling he gave me the drinks and went back to his work. I turned to look at her, and gave her lopsided grin.

“You know, I don’t need saving.” She said as she leaned on the bar. I knew that she was going to say that.

I lifted my hands in fake surrender. “I just came here to get a free drink.” I had perfected the art of flirtation and with a little smoldering gaze,any woman could fall for me.

She giggled and took the glass from me, her fingers tracing the ridges if my knuckles.

“I must say, you’ve got great taste in uisce beatha. Most people around here think Irish whiskey is something they put in their coffee.” I said as I took a sip of the smokey whiskey.

“Thanks, I know. That’s why I ordered it.”

I chuckled lowly and shook my head at her feisty nature. She was something, all right. Clinking my glass to hers, I said, “Slainte. Here’s to you knowing exactly what you like.”

She flipped her hair over her shoulder, and looked at me and I swear, it felt like she could see through my soul.

“It makes things much more efficient. There’s no point in wasting time when you know what you want.”

With that, she waved a waiter over and took a honeyed cream puff off their appetizer tray, grabbing a second to hold out to me.

“For example, I love sweet things.”

Smirking, I took the puff on a napkin and pulled it towards me. “Thanks. It seems you live in the right place. Though I’d prefer some hole in the wall fish n’ chips over the fancy stuff any day.”

And that’s the truth. The amount of money spent on this overrated cream puff could get me some delicious take out and cheap beer.

She bit into the pastry slowly, letting the tiniest bit of cream coat her lips before you suck your bottom lip to remove it. My eyes flickering on to the luscious red lips which were teasing me and slowly arousing me.

God, I want to bite that lip.

“I prefer finding the best of the best. The challenge makes it more enjoyable.” She gave a catty smile.

She is one vixen.

“Sounds like I could learn a lot from you.” I spoke in a husky voice and I saw her eyes dilate.

“Maybe. But right now I was hoping you’d tell me your name.” She asked, as she twirled her finger around the rim of her glass.

“Cassian. What’s yours?”

“Adira.” Her name just rolled out of your mouth like honey.

“That’s a beautiful name for a beautiful lady.” I took her hand and placed a soft kiss on her knuckles. I heard the sharp intake of her breath.

She is so responsive… Wonder how would she responds when I have her naked underneath me…

“Well, Adira… it was lovely to meet you. I’ll let you get back to enjoying the rest of your night.”

I wasn’t actually going to vanish but, gotta keep the ladies wanting more.

But what she did next, surprised me.

She snaked an arm out, and slid her dainty fingers through one of my belt loops, using it to pull me closer to her. I raised an eyebrow and she just smirked.

“Not so fast. I’m not letting you go without a dance.”

Giving her my signature lopsided smile I help my hand out to her. “I’m starting to get the feeling that I couldn’t refuse you anything. Lead the way, Adira.”

——————————————————————————————————–

The phone rang at an ungodly hour and I groaned.

I reached all around and finally found it amidst the tangled sheet. The bed was empty and it wasn’t much of a surprise but it kinda made me crave her.

She was amazing and the sex we had was mind blowing. I think she is the first person to step a foot inside my house. And she definitely was the first person to whom I submitted.

There were so many 'firsts’ last night and that just made me wonder if that was the end of our story.

Maybe I might drop a text…

“Yup?”

“Hey Keane. We have a new case for you. How long will you be here in?” Tomas spoke into the phone.

“Is there coffee and donuts from 'Dunkin Donuts’?” I said as I sat up, rubbing my eyes and eyeing the alarm clock on the bedside table.

4:45 am.

“Obviously Cassian. What do you think I am? An immature?"I swear, I could hear Tomas roll his eyes through the phone.

Smiling, I headed to the washroom to get on with my morning chores.

"I’ll be there in ten.”

——————————————————————————————————–

I got my steaming hot cup of coffee and poured two spoons of sugar in them before stirring.

“What you got there, Marshall Keane?” A bright eyed police officer eyed my cup. “Is it Irish coffee?”

I threw my head back and laughed at the stereotype. “It’s black coffee. Rookie, just because I’m Irish doesn’t mean I am every stereotype you have seen in your life.”  I patted his back and headed towards my office.

It was definitely an upgrade from my cramped up desk. I could sit back and kick up my legs without anyone saying anything. I had my space and I could relax without anyone, figuratively and literally, breathing down my neck.

And I could see it in Tomas’s eyes, the itch to promote me. My back to back successes in the recent cases and the huge underground drug bust I led, it was no surprise. I just knew that he would give me a promotion and I honestly, could not wait.

I loved my job and took it very seriously.

I found Tomas standing in, through the window and I entered. “Good morning, sir. What’s up?” I asked as I leaned against my desk.

“Well, we found a person who witnessed the murder of Sean Kelly by the O'Connell’s.” He said as he turned towards me, face grave.

“Shit. Is the witness okay?” I said as I picked up the file he had kept on my table.

“Yeah… I made Miss Lockhart familiar with the gravity of the situation. She is going into WITSEC and this is your case. This witness could help us in cracking the case wide open and we can finally arrest Killian and Maeve.” As he stepped out of the office and I fell in step with him.

I opened the case file and found what all they had got on the redheads. It wasn’t much but it was a start.

“Your witness is in my office and you are the lead in this case. You both will be shifting to Nantucket for the summer until the heat dies down here and we can get enough evidence. Then, we will get her to testify.” We turned and walked down the hallway to his office and I saw Nwosu grumbling in his office.

“What’s up Nwosu’s ass?” I asked with an amused grin.

“That would be the witness. She cussed him out in front of the entire precinct. She is a feisty one, I’ll give you that. I will just check upon the living accommodation for the two of you.” Tomas said as he headed in the opposite direction. I chuckled as I knocked on the door.

“Miss Lockhart. This is US Marshall Keane. I will be working your case with Tomas.”

As she opened the door to his office the smile that was playing on my lips died down when I saw my witness.

It was Adira.

“Cassian? You are a US Marshall?” She exclaimed.

I immediately shut the door behind me and she looked as if she had seen a ghost.

“Shit. Adira I thought I would never see you again… Are you okay?” I asked.

“Y-yeah.. I just changed into the clothes they gave me and I- I dyed my hair platinum blonde.” She said as she consciously ran her hand through the silky short locks.

“You look magnificent.” I smiled at her, as I took in the floral dress and the new hairdo.

“And you look hot in that uniform. You almost make me wish I had stayed back for a round two.”

Crossing my arms, I leaned against the wall. “I was hoping you would have stayed back for much more.”

A pretty blush dusted her cheeks. She looked up through her eyelashes. “Your mouth is nothing but trouble, Cassian Keane.”

I was going to respond but the phone rang, breaking us from our reverie. I ran my hand through my hair, and patted the man bun, trying to get my cool together.

“Okay Adira. I have been assigned lead on your case. It’s my chance at a huge promotion. Tomas is my supervisor and if he found out we knew each other…”

Adira’s eyes widened. “He would take you off the case?!”

“Yeah. If we were involved in any way, I’d be considered compromised. And who knows when I’d get another shot at this.” I have her my best puppy eyes expression, hoping that she understood where I was coming from.

“I know this is a lot to ask but, can you keep our history a secret?”

Her eyes turned cold and suddenly it looked like I was looking at a different person. “I don’t think it will be that easy.”

My eyes widened. The hell?

“You purposefully hid the truth from me and now you want to act as if what we had was nothing? Don’t you think it seems a little too convenient from my view?”

“Adira- Fuck it was everything to me but your life and my job is on the line! Can’t you understand?” I said.

She rolled her eyes as she looked down on her manicure, bored. “Fine. I will believe you. I will keep your secret, but you owe me.”

Tomas entered the office with a cheerful grin. “Everything good? Did you both get acquainted with each other?”

With glimmering blue eyes she sent a smile towards Tomas’s direction. “Yeah.. Feels like I have known him for a long time.”

A startled choking noise emerged from me, which I quickly covered up with a cough.

And at that point, all I could think of was, how truly fucked I was.

How the hell am i going to survive this summer?

hello hello we back at it again😎

the first two to three chapters will be similar to what pb put up so that we can get a feel of the premise

like, comment and reblog:))

Gotham s5ep11  “They Did What?” Personal Review & Rambling 

I DID IT .... I WATCHED THE GOTHAM FINALE 

“We need to make it a bomb again.” Absolutely no warning cause that’s all no spoiler anymore for a long time 

So I´m not sure if it´s good thing I´m watching this ages late, partly I guess I could be more emotional, partly not. It´s sweet to see how everyone and their aunt is teaming up for the city. “Well, this is gonna make one hell of a bedtime story some day.”   With Nyssa al Ghul holding the baby I briefly totally forgot the plot and wondered where did that child come from again? And my brain went back to the (godawful) “Ra´s present for Barbara is a child” theory, and then I remembered oh no it was Jim ..and I was like .. eh, magic baby would have been the better plot. So that´s how we started this but at least Jim and Barbara were quite sweet, even with the child (I usually just cringe and crumble in sheer terror of what kind of responsibility a child is whenever one of those appears but they made it sweet)  BARBARA KEAN & JIM GORDON were such a great team!  Also Barbara just looks so damn fine, they really did good with that. And just bless the FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHERS of the Show , handcuffed Barbara taking out the guy with her legs > Jim later handcuffing Nyssa to keep her close to not get shot at < Good Stuff!  * ~ 24:05 even up to the Steps of SELINA KYLE , Just the way she walked before fighting Bane was such a neat detail   ”My father made his name destroying empires.” NYSSA AL GHUL I guess with more time she´s got potential but rushed like that her character is just boring. 

“Can we really be so cavalier about the destruction of Gotham?” Oh OSWALD COBBLEPOT that´s part of why I fell in love with you. So he and EDWARD NYGMA go over the whole “listening to your heart never did you any good Oswald” spiel, and “I´ll miss you”, or “not so much”, Ed kind of is saying “don´t go” , but just not quite, the usual, you know, I can´t bring myself to care much but damn do I like watching their pretty selves talk through it.  * Edward later follows Oswald, claiming it´s about the city, says the submarine can only operated by two people, and actual people, dog didn´t work.  The usual. * Holy Shit, JIM GORDON ´s so gorgeous. It´s not like I had forgotten how pretty he is but damn that episode hit me hard again with Jim feels. Him over that map, going through their strategy. Daaaamn daaaaaaaaamn. * JIM GORDON & OSWALD COBBLEPOT in something that might as well be just fanfiction: “Oswald, come in.” / “Still have those eyes in the back of your head, Jim.” / “No. You just have a remarkably recognizable odor. Part dandy, part snake. After all these years, it hasn't changed. Drink?” / “No, thank you. Dulls the senses.” /  “That's what I was going for. Surprised you're still here. Figured you'd be long gone by now. That storm you've warned me about for so long, it's finally here.” /  “Sure, I could escape... with money, I might add... but then what? Stand on the shores of the mainland and watch the army burn it to the ground? Then watch tasteless industrialists and vapid politicians rebuild it? No. My life is etched on the walls of every alley and dirty warehouse here. My blood lives in its broken concrete. I'm staying to fight. For my legacy.” * LESLIE THOMPKINS caring about the people of the Narrows was great, I don´t know, if I like that she “abandoned” them in order to stand next to Jim but I can let it pass because of the way she did: She respected and trusted BARBARA KEAN to get them out. I can accept a plot that doesn´t pit those two women against each other (anymore). It was equally great that Lee just told Jim to “yes, go to your child”, and not to forget the scene where Barbara is thanking Lee for what she did, and “Barbara Lee Gordon”  * Lucius is full on providing gadgets for Bruce, including that Bat Beacon that slowed down Bane. Nice but eh.  Also they rehash Jeremiah´s plan to turn the city in a labyrinth to slow down the army. “We need to make it a bomb again.” Battery goes Bomb again, but eh, kind of fell flat for me

* HARVEY BULLOCK pointing out they are fighting SOLDIERS that are just following orders was a good touch. And it makes sense that JIM could brush that aside, he knows what they signed up for. That´s what you do, that´s what you accept. * Also I can stan a good  story that rejects and is a slap in the face of  the "NUREMBERG DEFENSE" so props to that! Just the execution fell so remarkably flat for me. I felt nothing then the people came back with Barbara, nothing when the soldiers pointed their guns at Bane.  BRUCE WAYNE & SELINA KYLE   Just Selina checking in with a “Bruce?” to make sure he actually wants to do that bomb thing was so precious. Also her recognizing that he is and accepting his choice. [Rant Below]  Them later sitting on the stairs and talking was sweet too, except for what they talked about.  SELINA KYLE MRs. & MR WAYNE So apparently they paralleled those in this episode 1.  Selina´s shadow is just right under the painting of Mrs & Mr Wayne and Bruce just plants the bomb right in the middle of her shadow ~19:40) 2.  Selina telling Bruce on the stairs she will be there whenever he needs her and Bruce replying that this is what his parents used to tell him.     Which is a good setup for the kind of conclusion Bruce draws out of all of this but also I´m gonna rant about it below but first:  3. Bruce says his parents would have and did sacrifice everything for the city. He´s making the same choice but apparently can´t see that Selina has as much a choice to do so as he and Mrs & Mr Wayne have .  So in the end I´m getting overly emotional, angry, hurt, let down to be precise:  How dare BRUCE WAYNE leave SELINA KYLE  behind like this?! Given the backstory that´s bound to be so much more painful than whatever Jeremiah or Bane ever could do. Selina has been through this after Jeremiah and she made a choice. She stayed, she thought and she was (not that that matters but let´s not forget it) damn good at it. I know Bruce thinks he´s making a “sacrifice” but how dare he take away this choice from her. How dare he hurt her like that.

* Most importantly though ALFRED PENNYWORTH in that COAT at the end looked so damn dashing. I´m in love. But I don´t like that they made a point of benching his character like that. He added plenty to the fight, he´s been in hospital before, he can add still contribute like he always did. Don´t let it end like this. Yeah I do need at least three seasons to magically happen before the 5th. OSWALY COBBLEPOT & EDWARD NYGMA Round #2  * Edward apologizes for freezing because of the grenade, Oswald understands. Edward gags when seeing Oswald´s hurt eye but claims it is just a scratch. * Back in a remarkable awesome looking place they lick their wounds: > Oswald feels not appreciated he wants “credit for our loyalty, our selfless bravery?” aka Love.  > Edward however feels better than everyone else. He used to be “Shy awkward, pathetic Ed”. Not anymore. He´s better! “I don't want their thanks. Or their respect. You know what I felt, standing shoulder to shoulder with those people out there? Nothing. I... feel... absolutely nothing for those drab... boring people.” Never again. I've shown this city who I truly am once before, and I will do it again. They will bow to the Riddler, and they won't get up until I permit them to.” >> The notion of the “Thankless Job” is there too with Ed but Ed get his kicks out of separating himself from the people, he´s different and above them he doesn´t care about their opinion and has no real stakes in their well being. Oswald however obviously still want´s the recognition of said people, and he wants the good and nice kind, so it´s important that they aren´t miserable.  However “Yes. You're right. Our accomplishments have been erased, our brilliant minds underrated. If they had let me run this city the way I wanted to, it would not be in ruins now. I had the men, the money, - the guns... “ 1. Oswald falls in line with Ed´s reasoning, appeals to his brilliance spleen but tweaks it for his need.  Edward says he has to rule and they have to bow to him.  Os says Ed is right, follows in line with Ed in reassuming a strife for leadership but adds his twist that this is necessary not so much because he (just as Ed thinks he is) is superior but because his leadership is “good” for the people. He´ll do good for them so they´ll like him.  >>> Oswald wants to rule to not have the city in ruins and get praised for that >>> Edward wants to rule because he´s better and deserves so regardless of other imbeciles thoughts or needs.  2. Divide et Imperare Edward is quick to make sure to point a finger to an enemy and separate Oswald from Jim “Gordon took them.”  Oswald just might as well try to go back to old methods and try build alliances with Jim and the law again, Edward recently saw Oswald and Jim kind of teaming up again and he just can´t have that. Just like Mr. Penn was in the way. Jim is a threat.  One to be undermined at all costs: “Gordon took them. Why? Because he still sees you as Fish Mooney's umbrella boy, and he always will.” 

3. One Ring to bind them. Edward starts with a selfish reason but is quick to put Oswald back into the plan. First there´s “I” suddenly he talks about a “We”:  “I only came back to help him save this city so that I could take it for myself. We would be stronger together. No one could stop us.”  4. Do they believe each other?! Apparently they don´t because the both go in the hug with a drawn knife but are relieved when they don´t feel one in their own back. Which was really nice and fitting imagery. I can live with that “conclusion” but I have so much open questions.  I really got to look for post that worked through all of this. > Oswald obviously must be weary of Edward because (I just have to believe) that he sees through the manipulating words of Edward. (as listed above) [[[ Especially the scene with Jim: They had a rather respectful, familiar interaction. I can´t quite believe that he follows Edward´s claim that JIM only thinks of him as that umbrella boy. I do think Oswald gets that Jim takes him serious, just well considers all his crime stuff to be wrong, and that´s quite a different thing than what Ed claims.]]]  > What is Edward´s angle there? Yeah he might not have been able to operate the submarine alone but granted his speech it sounded like he would think that he is capable of taking the city for and by himself. Why is he appealing to Oswald to form a “we”?  Just to get him in the hug situation and test him, asses a possible future threat to his claims?  The only other proper motivation for that would be …. he likes Oswald.  5. “Brothers” Hahahah * Okay, but Oswald´s face when Edward and his mirror self do their thing …Damn …. * 8:26 Are the “Captain Jim Gordon” letters on his door window colour ??! * Jankey Piss Whiskey, what is Jim drinking?  * Oh no, not the General

(i took this from @ vesselofink on ig)

this was supposed to be a 'work on your wip and answer a question a day' type thing, but we'll instead use these questions to distract us from our wips!

1. what is your current word count? around 34k

2. what’s the basic summary of your wip? a girl discovers she’s an enhanced human after her father is murdered so she joins a secret group that is after those who killed her father and who plan kill more like her.

3. what is your title? calling the cavalry :)

4. who’s your favourite character? how are they introduced? my favs are the core five lol they’re all written to be likeable. and they’re all introduced in the first three chapters.

5. your favourite ship in your wip? the romantic subplot and the secret couple, don’t wanna spoil lol

6. what’s the biggest mistake your mc has ever made? i’m actually not sure yet, i’m not too deep in backstories yet but she’s an icon in the present

7. what/who inspired you to write? my very first work was inspired by a dream that wouldn’t leave me alone. but for this work, it was actually that taylor lautner movie where he finds out his parents aren’t his real parents and he has to go on the run with lily collins from a bad organization lol

8. most underrated character? her name is noa cantillo and if i ever publish, she’ll be considered the most underrated, i’m sure of it.

9. favourite lines? with or without context. “we still have too much life to live.” “even drunk you talk like a scientist.” “don’t think this means anything.” “i like jello.” “don’t tell me i’m going soft again just because i’m proud of you.”

10. create a moodboard/aesthetic for your mc. first one for my main, savannah and second one for the wip itself

11. what is your mc’s fondest moment? when she graduated and walked across the stage as her dad whistled and clapped louder than anyone with the biggest smile on his face.

12. songs that remind you of your wip and/or favourite characters? young god by halsey, somewhere only we know by keane, nothing’s gonna hurt you baby by cigarettes after sex

13. do you enjoy torturing your characters? lol no omg but sometimes it’s necessary.

14. what is your mc most afraid of? oblivion, disappointing her dad, failure to bring an end to the bad guys

15. secret talents of your characters? with the enhanced beings that most of them are, they have a faster metabolism, super speed and strength, skin pliability, and quicker regeneration. but idk about like legit secret talents yet

16. if your book had the opportunity to be turned into a media, would you take it? who would be casted as who? oh fuck yes omg that’s what’s keeping me going--the possibilty of a movie. and laurel thoma, xavier serrano, marina laswick, tessa thompson, and michael b jordan are my core 5 face claims so

17. what are some basic moral and general beliefs your mc has? she’s an atheist, first of all. she believes in second chances. she has a real good moral compass and always fights for what’s right and for those who cannot protect themselves

18. how did your characterws find out the tooth fairy doesn’t exist? savannah found out at 14 when her dad decided she was old enough. kit was a foster kid so he never got that experience. same with tate. heidi woke up to her mom putting a loonie under her pillow at 9 and was traumatized. and grey decided at 5 that he was too old for that ‘baby stuff’.

19. which character of yours has the best name? oooo, i love my main girl savannah natalia moreno (fun fact her first name was orginally natalia but 20k words in i decided i liked savannah better.) but arlington samuel reed and beckett alfred greystone are also winners lol

20. who is your least favourite oc? the villain lol gotta read to know who that is

21. teaser! post a snippet of your wip. here’s a three paragraph entry to learn how no-bullshit my main sav is :)

Grey turned to her, standing up straight with his arms crossed. If Sav were honest with herself, she’d admit the guy kind of scared her. “Excuse me,” he began with a low voice, “I'd like to advise you to watch your tone.” 

She understood how vital Grey was here, but he was no authority figure of hers, and ever since she was little, her father taught her not to let people walk all over her. She was emotional, and she spoke her mind when she got upset. 

“Excuse me, but I saw my father killed in front of my own eyes, I was chased from my home in freaking sweatpants, shot at, picked up by strangers, shot at some more, and now I'm told I’m being targeted by some secret organization that's been out to kill me since birth! I think I'm entitled to a bit of leeway right now, don't you?”

22. what are some representations your wip has? (gender, lgbt, poc, disabilities, etc) of the 12 main characters, 6 of them are women, 9 of them are lgbtq+, 8 of them are poc, and as for disabilities--there’s a character with half-deafness, one with a prosthetic arm, and another with a prosthetic leg. also the main character has ptsd.

23. is your wip a stadnalone or part of a series? honestly, it could be a series if i got my shit together. i’ve written two endings already, one of which closes it completely, the other opens it to a sequel so we’ll see

24. which character goes through the biggest change throughout the story? def the main girl. she starts out as a regular college student and ends so strong and powerful.

25. who knows about your wip or interest in writing? do they help/support you? only my fam and a few friends know about my writing at all, but as for this book, my girl @harpermiller who i love very much lets me rant and send snippets and ask questions all the time

26. annoying habits your characters have? heidi is a know it all, kit is almost annoyingly loving, tate is real closed off and even those closest to her don’t know much about her, grey doesn’t let his emotions show which makes it hard for people to help him.

27. what’s the last three lines you wrote for your wip? with or without context. no context!

Sav supposed this was their now or never moment. She knew she loved Kit Torres--she just didn't know in what way. Sometimes it felt completely platonic, other times Kit would give her a look that grew butterflies in her stomach.

28. are any characters based off people you know in real life through looks, personality, or habits? i suppose tate is kind of like a side of me no one knows. and kit gives me grant ward vibes sometimes. but other than that, no.

29. what’s a ship that could never happen in your wip? who and why? almost anyone with grey because he’s their leader and mentor. 

30. what’s your goal word count? like 60-100k honestly i just wanna finish it lol

tag 5 peeps to keep it going. pick a wip and get crackin: @nillle @harpermiller @trashy-greyjoy @biondebeauties @holy-captain

GOTHAM

insanely rambley HUGE spoiler-ridden seasons 1-4 thoughts under cut

FIRST OFF LET ME TELL YOU I GOT CHILLS

Secondly, let’s think back to how I felt about season one.  A little loose in the narrative, not so much weaving threads as having threads, ones that you keep expecting to pull tight but more often than not just get dropped for other, shinier threads.  All leading to a surprisingly effective character-driven season finale that hopes to prove to you that a few meandering plot points can still add to a sum greater than the parts.

(Oswald goes from umbrella boy to King of Gotham, Bruce Wayne starts at the site of his parents’ murder and ends up taking his first steps into the Batcave, Jim enters as this black-and-white idealist and winds learning from a mob boss that even good men sometimes get their hands dirty to get the job done.  A socially awkward unrecognized genius has a psychic break, leading ultimately to the fall of Edward Nygma and the rise of the Riddler.)

Season two is a blur.  A period of transition from Jim “Good Cop” Gordon Fistfighting Corruption into... Gotham City: Arkham Asylum’s Backyard.  Think how much season one was about only Fish Mooney vs Falcone vs the GCPD and Cobblepot doublecrossing everyone he meets, and how much seasons two and three and four were about the Riddler and Valeska and Tetch and Ra’s al Ghul (and Valeska).  We have the bring-everyone-back-to-life at Indian Hill period to thank for the sudden left turn into the Strange.

WHICH IS NOT A COMPLAINT.

There are so many types of Batman stories, and there’s a time and a place for both Joe Chill and Killer Croc.  Gotham started in one and always knew it was headed for the other.

And B.D. Wong as Strange is a DELIGHT and I really appreciated his dynamic with Miss Peabody.  Speaking of, the bomb defusing scene was a real gem omg lololol give the woman some damn water already.

At the same time, the Fish storyline was like WHOA what EVEN is haPPENINg at any given moment.  And it ultimately didn’t amount to much?  There’s so much waffling between the surviving gang camps where everyone’s either got a kill-on-sight order or a owed-life-debt to each other and the pendulum swings back and forth so quickly it’s not really worth holding onto how anyone feels about anyone else.  That dead/MIA character will come back or the rivalry will be revived or the long-held grudge will be recalled if and when that plot point is going to be drafted, but other than that everyone’s friends and that’s ok.

And like.  Ivy??? Ivy Pepper???????  Why is that ride so wild???  There is no cause and effect, only next next next.  It’s insane.  Maybe watching this all at once rather than over the course of four years lends a different perspective, but holy cow.  Such a ballsy way to do whatever with a character you never had a plan for.

Which brings us to Barbara Kean?!  Season one she was there because they knew she was a Mythos Character but then they were like, wait, whateven is she for though?  Which is a fair question, since having her be the Little Lady Trophy Fiance meant she was a boring and needless character wasting space, not standing on her own and hardly informing Jim’s character either.  So what to do, what to do.  How about we kidnap her, put her through some insanely cruel physical and psychological abuse, make her a psycho-revenge-bride, put her in a coma, have her come back as a 100% Arkham Villain, give her a hench(wo)man, have the henchman KILL HER, have Ra’s al Ghul waltz up out of literally nowhere and say “lol, borrow this arcane mojo for a minute, I’ll want it back later or will I” and now she’s a kingpin of Gotham’s underworld with her own mini League of Assassin?!!!!!!!   !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Like.  Even if they never had a plan going into it, I’m pretty okay with most of what they came up with.  Better than the lil wifey hanging out at home and having one passing remark about curating a gallery that we never saw and was never mentioned again.

Better off a once-crazy, once-dead mafiosa than the less inspired handling of Miss Kringle.  I won’t even get into that trainwreck I-only-exist-to-validate-manpain-of-my-murderer wait I said I wasn’t going to get into it.

So Nygma!  Like I said when I got started with the show, the season one Edward Nygma was crafted as this painfully unsympathetic offbeat loser and I think they fully succeeded with that characterization.  The emergence of the Riddler persona was a welcome change, an upgrade, a spit-shine into something clean cut and confident and stylish.  But I like that, compared to the Penguin, the posterchild for evil-psychotic-villain!Protaganist, for example, they held on to a lot of Nygma’s unlikeablilty in that he’s still an ass, even more of an insufferable egoist, and SO CRAZY he can’t even read himself (which was a big thing about the character before he split in half, so in itself that’s pretty great).

I don’t know.  Maybe you like him and I’m supposed to like him.  I think he’s exactly what he ought to be, and while I'd never want to see him marched off a peer with a bullet in his back, I’m more than happy to see his fellow villain-Protagonists knock him around once in a while.  Penguin and Mooney and now Lee (?!) and Zsasz even are the kind of villan!Protagonist you really root for.  But if it’s any one of them vs. the Riddler, they’re definitely not going to lose.  Nygma’s like in his own category of villain!Protagonist Antagonist.

Of course, the post-Arkham-proto-Riddler who was running Oswald’s mayoral campaign, now HOT DAMN that was a storyline I could get behind.  I almost actually believed they were going to do something great in the Nygmobblepot arena and that was a magical moment.  I think the resulting blood feud, as painful of a 360 as they come, was a sounder storytelling decision and more in line with the show’s Schroedinger’s Frenemies mentality.

And his season four storyline with the Ed Nygma persona challenging the Riddler was a nice full circle.  Sort of closing the gap between this raging banana nutball and the razor-sharp criminal mastermind he could be if tried.  Not SUPER THRILLED with his creeping on Lee but, with all due respect, that’s par for the character so again I say I don’t think I’m meant to like him??

I just spent half this rant on the Riddler so I guess they’re doing something right.

Ok so Cameron Monaghan’s VALESKA TWINS.  Let’s get right into it, shall we.

Holy smokes they did everything right on this one.  Loved the Primal Fear treatment of his introduction, and the way this random circus kid just so happens to start displaying jokey traits that astute viewers will start to suspect that this could be the big bad we’ve all been waiting for --

and then they kill him.

WOW

I was so ready for this kid to grow up to be the Joker, and they rip that dream away and replace it with an idea that anyone can grow up to be the Joker, and damn if that isn’t the nicest treatment of the character’s fractured and obfuscated origin story.  But.  THEN!

THEY BRING HIM BACK and it’s everything you wanted him to be.  He’s just so good.  There’s just the right amount of (IMO, anyway) Hamill-homage in what is otherwise a fully imagined Character who is instantly recognizable as one of many iterations but at the same time outclasses them all.  The high-level narrative and dialogue stuff, the stuff they create for him to do, I mean, is all great.  And then Monaghan brings this manic A++ game to the table and blows it out of the water.  Best Joker performance?  Arguably so, especially when you consider

JEREMIAH VELASKA because this kid can’t stop having stellar Joker performances.  He’s like, two and a half, three of the best Joker performances on the books.  Jeremiah’s distinct visual style, the characterization, AGAIN with the obfuscated we-are-legion origin story hocow.  NO COMPLAINTS HERE.

Anyway so if that’s what we get in return for sending Fish Mooney through a narrative meat grinder, then I guess it’s an even trade.

Pengiun.  What to say about Penguin.  I loved what they gave him in season two, a ton of character stuff because his plot stuff of rags to riches had played itself out.  I felt real bad for his mom, but I really liked that he went and made himself mayor, and even while his story arcs tend to go riches to rags and back again, it’s never not a pleasure watching him claw his way up to where he thinks he ought to be.

For the most part they do a good job stringing together these different Protagonist story-groups, keeping in mind that most of these groups serve mainly as antagonists amongst themselves (when they’re not being buddy-buddy to serve some winding end).  So when you get the villain!Antagonists you can really tell the difference.  I got a little yawny while we were setting up Fries, and by the time we finally locked Tetch up for good I was very grateful.  These will never be main characters and the show knows it and wants you to know it, too.  So while they’re the main on-screen villain, it can get a little stale because the same effort isn’t being put into their lasting appeal.

Um.  Jim Gordon.  Another thing I liked about season four was a strong return to GCPD bidniss.  Season two there was a lot of GCPD, but with Captain Barnes and the strike force and Galavan, so it was a completely different narrative animal than what Gordon was throwing down with in season one.  Then Gordon goes to prison and after that he doesn’t go back to GCPD until well into season three, and by then the story’s about Mario and Tetch and Lee and omg I forgot about Valerie Vale until this very moment whoops.

As was hinted in the season one finale, Jim Gordon went on a very twisty path through the mud before he figured himself out again.  Killing Galavan was like WHAT JIMBOY and that wasn’t even the worst of it.  What I liked most about his stint as a PI was the character’s eventual acceptance that the law isn’t the be all and end all of righteousness, and that there are other means available when enforcing peace and justice.  Not necessarily by killing every evil mayor you come across with your own two hands, but the eye-opening to the virtues of vigilantism is super important when you realize he’s going to be Batman’s main ally down the line and this time in his life is going to be what ultimately allows the future police commissioner to legitimize this kind of shadowy ninja behavior.

Anyway, in season four, Jim kind of comes back to roost at the GCPD, and finally ousting Bullock as Captain was rough but obviously warranted, and with only one season left that was a good time to do it.  Harper was a nice addition and I’d like to see more of her as a standalone character.  (Similarly, Fox has fit in nicely with the cops, but I’m not overly hankering to see more of his day to day antics.) 

What was my real point?  I really liked the Gordon vs the GCPD dynamics of season one, and while obviously that’s not a story you can tell forever, it did inform the sense that the police force is a living entity that can serve you very well if it trusts you, but before that can happen you really have to jump on its back and break its will LOL.

Also, remember Renee Montoya and Harvey Dent?  Yeah, I don’t either.

SO BRUCE WAYNE, MY FRIENDS.

Gotham is my very most favorite Bruce Wayne story, and much as Batman: TAS is my forever-reference for most Batmany things, Gotham is going to be my heart-canon for Bruce Wayne origins.

It’s one thing to say, “ok so this rich kid watches his parents get murdered in an alley, and from this moment on he vows to do something about it and makes himself a master detective/martial artist who puts on a mask and a cape and runs around at night smashing thugs’ heads in for justice” like it’s a foregone conclusion, a straight-forward A-to-B process, and a wholly other thing to show us, step by step, how he learns to become the thing we all know he’s going to become.

In season one he was this quiet, morose but driven child who didn’t know what to do with this crisis he’d been handed.  He’s a kid who sits in a pool with his whole clothes on, trying to hold his breath for as long as possible because he has no idea how else to become better prepared for handling his issues.  But he has Selina and he has Alfred and he has Fox and he has Jim Gordon, and he will have the Court of Owls and the Valeskas and Ra’s al Ghul who will all play a part in handing him pieces of himself until he has a full set.

He started with this strong sense of right and wrong, a deeply seated desire to put his talents and his money to some sort of use, an earnest diligence towards bettering himself in all ways, and little by little he gets shown just how much of a fragile and defenseless baby he is.  That time Alfred accidentally-on-purpose clobbered him in the eye -- that was the moment Bruce found out they’d all been pulling their punches with him and that he still had so so so far to go.

Of course, at the particular moment, he was going through a well-earned rebel without a cause phase (which will do him well when he calls on those behaviors for the benefit of a wider audience), so I don’t think that realization hit him at the time.  BUT I NOTICED.  Sure he’s got a bulletproof suit and he can look Jim Gordon straight in the eye now and he can fling himself off rooftops like a champ (and when Alfred gave him the keys to the Batmobile I cried a little), but he’s no Batman.  Not yet.  Not quite yet.

But you can see without a shadow of a doubt that he’s gonna be!  Instead of this “Bruce Wayne woke up as Batman” story, we get a look at all the day by day choices and experiences that inform, shape, and depend on Bruce Wayne’s core identity and the way that they will collectively create Batman.

Now, David Mazouz may not have the character acting chops of a Pinkett-Smith or a Taylor or a Monaghan, and he may not be as comfortable living in a everyday character like Pertwee and Logue do so effortlessly, but there’s a steeliness a Bruce Wayne should have, a hauntedness, an idealistness, that Mazouz emotes in spades.  Sometimes his Bruce Wayne does a stunt or pulls a pose that Mazouz KNOWS is Batman territory, and while his awareness of “I’m doing a cool thing look at me doing it” is a little distracting--it’s also SUPER EFFECTIVE and I fall for it hook, line, and sinker.

I’ve always been one of those fans who’s way more interested in the lives and characters of the secret identities (compared to the heroics of the super identities) so hot diggity dog is this the show for me.  All Bruce Wayne all the time.  When we he does put on the mask, it’s all the more powerful for knowing who exactly is wearing it and what’s driving him to do these borderline insane things.

Not 100% sold on Ra’s’ “I saw this in a dream” strong-arm prophecy, feeling like it steps on four years of Bruce Wayne’s self-determination.  Not 100% on how they introduced him and his aims and his baffling reincarnation(s).  But I am 100% on the pronunciation of “Ra’s” because I’m aware that Kevin Conroy et al figured it out somewhere between TAS and Arkham Asylum, but it’s something that they never quite got in Arrow.  (Oliver consistently uses “raysh” but everyone else is a grab bag between that and “rawz”.)

For that matter, David Mazouz consistently pronounces Ra’s with two syllables, so there’s also that.  Wait, hold on.  In Gotham they also draw a hard line between Ra’s al Ghul, the man, and “the demon’s head,” some sort of mystical power of time travel and flashlightiness.  Give one point to Arrow for not being that bizarre.

Long story short, the shot at the finale where Gordon’s waiting on the GCPD rooftop with the spot light and Bruce Wayne stalks up behind him was BEAUTIFUL.  (They also did the thing some episodes earlier where Bruce peaces out on Gordon when Gordon’s mid-sentence with his back turned and I laughed a lot)

Looking forward to their take on No Man’s Land.  Here’s a short story for you at the end of this long story:

One time I was reading No Man’s Land volume by volume from the library.  It was tough because I checked the first time and they had the full set, but then you never knew that the next one was going to be available when you went in for it.

So I get out of the car one day and look there’s a quarter on the ground.  Neat.  It’s mine now!

Going into the library, there was a cart of used books for sale by the door.  25 cents each.  Hell, I’ve got a quarter now, let’s see what they got.

What they got is the No Man’s Land novelization.  For 25 cents, or, in my case, free.

So I read that instead, and turned out I liked it way better than the source comics.  I have a hard time reading comics?  I tend to not look at the pictures, and certain art styles aren’t my jam.  Also when it comes to narrative capabilities, there are different tools and effects inherent to each form, and I appreciated the literary treatment and the internal voice it brought to the table that the comics couldn’t.

Also the author said in the note that his method was to sit down and jam out minimum 2000 words a day and that’s still a feat I admire.

Anyway, that’s my long winded take on Gotham.  Not perfection, but certainly a respectable and authoritative representation of a subject matter we all know and love.  I give it my second favorite Batman portrayal (behind Kevin Conroy and above Adam West) and my absolute favorite live-action Bruce Wayne, hands down.

Tagged By: @blame-canada

Rules: answer 30 questions, tag 20 blogs

Nicknames: i don’t really have any nicknames ahh

Gender: Male

Star Sign: Libra (Liga if we’re doing the expanded zodiac thing)

Height: 6′1″/6′2″?? it kinda changes somehow

Time: 10:13pm

Birthday: 3rd October

Fav. Bands: Panic! at the Disco, Paramore, Fall Out Boy, Gorillaz, that’s really i don’t listen to a lot of different music

Fav. Solo Artist: dodie!! (same as the nerd who tagged me!!)

Song Stuck in My Head: Lollipop by MIKA

Last Movie I Watched: The Room, unfortunately

Last Show I Watched: Mythbusters!!

When did I create my blog: December 2013

What do I post: i don’t really post stuff i just reblog art and memes and stuff

Last thing I googled: ‘cement mixer shot’

Do I have any other blogs: i have an art blog @kean-art that i don’t post on except for very very infrequently ‘cause i rarely find the motivation to draw and usually then i do i don’t post it ‘cause i don’t like it enough

Do I get asks: Occasionally I do yes! I really enjoy getting them!

Why I did choose my URL: It’s just my first name and some other letters at the end ‘cause i’m incredibly uncreative

Following: 4,894 (i have a massive problem and also i keep hitting the follow limit every 2 weeks)

Followed by: 343 (i dread to think how low the number would drop to if i blocked all of the porn bots)

Average hours of sleep: i don’t have a regular sleep schedule because my life is a mess

Lucky number: don’t have one

Instruments: Bass Guitar (currently broken), Ukulele, Acoustic Guitar (very very badly), Vocals (unextraordinarily)

What I am wearing: a lootcrate LoZ t-shirt that’s too small, joggers, and a blanket because my room is too cold

Dream job: i have zero ambitions at this current moment

Dream trip: road trip across america with a few friends or something

Favorite food: probably pizza, i make pretty good pizza from scratch so it’s fun to make and good to eat

Nationality: English

Fav. song: i don’t really have a favourite song but if i had to choose it’d probably have to be something off of Dodie’s new EP ‘You’ or Paramore’s new Album ‘After Laughter’

Last book I read: i think i tried to read TFIOS a few years ago but then i never did and i’ve spent all of my time on this website ever since

Top three fictional universes I want to join: it’s sort of embarrassing but i’d love to live in the Bakugan universe even though i stopped caring about Bakugan years ago. Probably also the South Park universe, SoT made me feel really happy ‘cause it felt like i was in that universe i know it sounds really stupid lol. I guess the third one is probably Harry Potter ‘cause i grew up with Harry Potter.

Tagged 20 blogs: I won’t tag 20 people ‘cause that’s a lot but here we go @yaboiepicnessity @red-children @antianimation @milkmateartist @dragecia @lonelyopal @smartassery @woofless @midnight-sn0w @mxduckemy @rabbitandfox @jollyjames @donpond @creekfucker you don’t have to do this if you don’t wanna but y’know give it a go if you want!

Girls & Ladies Who Inspire

Hi Guys, you know it is so inspiring to read about young girls and women being successful in areas of their life, I always find myself reading about them or watching movies & films about them.I absolutely love to see people over coming challenges and having the power to over those challenges. The era we are in guys is a powerful time for us.Ladies we are taking on the business world, the fashion world, and the world of politics with many more areas which inspires me. I hope it inspires you to, so I am going to share some of the stories and short biographies I have covered here so far at Loving The SalesI start this selection in order of my previous blog post also from past to present. We have come a long way guys and have a long way to go.Number 1 Fashion Designer  Coco Chanel, female fashion liberator

Coco Chanel was supposed to have license to design clothes back when she started her label. That certainly was not going to hold her back. This are some of quotes which will give insight into why she was going to be a worldwide success. Coco Chanel Top 3 Quotes “If you were born without wings, do nothing to prevent them from growing.” –Coco Chanel “A girl should be two things: Classy and fabulous.” –Coco Chanel “In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different.” –Coco ChanelThen Coco Chanel went on to designed and created The Little Black Dress (LBD). A must have for every women who wants to celebrate her body the way we should. One of her top design creations. Imagine a uniform for all women of taste and how correct they were, think about it there is rarely ever an event that occurs that you have been to, where the Little Black Dress doesn’t make an appearance. Comparing the Little black dress to the other famous beauty The Little Red Dress which draws eye attention through the virtues of nature. I will always side with the solid colour of Black which you know makes you feel instantly slimmer when you put it on as it hugs your skin tightly. The LBD flatters every figure, hides unwanted perspiration, stains and of course any unforeseen mishap which may occur when you wearing it out. Of course you wondering about accessories. Here is The Solutions K.I.S.S (KEEP IT SIMPLE SEXY). If your hair style will be up then add earrings, pearls for example, if your hair is down wear an imposing necklace. Done and you’ve already won. Today you may also hear The LBD referred to as a Cocktail Dress which is fine for the occasion but the original may be renamed or reimagined but class never goes out of fashion so guys take it from me, fashion may come in and go out as we say but the Little Black Dress is here to Stay. “Coco Chanel published a picture of a short, simple black dress in American Vogue. It was calf-length, straight and decorated only by a few diagonal lines. Vogue called it “Chanel’s Ford”. Like the Model T, the little black dress was simple and accessible for women of all social classes. Vogue also said that the LBD would become “a sort of uniform for all women of taste” source Wikipedia. Top Tip The Coco Chanel Movie is wonderful. Her Story, Her Fashion, The Drama of her struggles with her Love is a must watch. Enjoy it as I did.Number 2 Fashion Models Ashley Graham 

Click the pic for her Instagram its worth the follow.Ashley Graham is one of the most recognized American models in the industry, gracing the covers of major fashion magazines. Ashley is a plus sized model who inspires all of us to love and embrace our different figures with her confidence and accessibility. She is an ambassador for the real beauty movement that has forced brands to reconsider their branding an marketing which I love.Movements like this has forced brands such as Nike to create a full plus size for us to enjoy and not feel slightly embarrassed about it. Daisy-May Demetre

Diversity, difference and body types in The Fashion Industry. We are absolutely loving the fact the difference is now being celebrated widely in the fashion industry. The stories of the people who are spear heading these movement are inspirational. Let me share 2 short stories with you guys.These 2 stories I have shared before I have written about them and keep find myself drawing inspiration from them. The 2 girls are on another level enjoy. Daisy-May Demetre is a little beautiful 9 year old girl from Birmingham England who walks the fashion runways of the world in her blades. Daisy is a double leg amputee model and has with such brands as Nike, River Island and famous fashion designers.This little powerhouse shows us all, no matter walk if you have the ability walk talk and proud of who you are. Daisy has is managed by this modelling agency if you would like to have her model your fashion brand Kids London Model Management Ailbhe and Izzy Keane of Izzy Wheels

Their Story “Izzy Wheels is a Dublin based brand founded by Irish sisters Ailbhe (pronounced Alva) and Izzy Keane. The idea was inspired by Izzy who was born with Spina Bifida and is paralyzed from her waist down. Izzy always saw her wheelchair as a symbol of freedom but never felt it expressed her bubbly personality. Ailbhe created Izzy Wheels as her final year college project in The National College of Art and Design (NCAD) in 2015.To have a relationship like this with your sister must be amazing, Izzy in particular inspire me to be more outgoing personally. Izzy does not use her wheelchair as a excuse to stand back she has joined the term “IF YOU CANT STAND UP, STAND OUT” power to you girl. We wish the girls continued success with their business.” The Magnitude of what these girls are inspiring In previous blog post if you have been following, you will know that that I have highlighted the fact that the fashion industry and social media can be a mean place sometimes when you are different from perceived model template.But YES, here is two young beautiful awe inspiring ladies that saying I don’t care for template or status quo. I will strut my stuff down you cat walk like I own it, Daisy-May we are loving you here at loving the sales.Then you have Izzy the girl who really does “Stand Out” The girl who really does represent what a positive attitude and some creativity can bring to the world.Note to self on this postHighlight what these girls are doing a lot more and find a way that we can help them sell their products. We will be in touch ladies haha. Number 3 Celebrity Bad Girls

Mileys Quote “They move on from one beautiful young woman to the next MOST times without consequence. They are usually referred to as legends, heartthrobs, Ladies Man etc”.I like this pic and quote because after a break of long time love Mr Hemsworth Miley is now free and single and because she has some dates she is getting called a slut which is unfair when below is her honest and insightful opinion of what a man is referred to in the same position. “Men (especially successful ones) are RARELY slut-shamed”. Like or Love Miley she is standing up for equality and we deserve it, want it and we will get it. The ME TOO Movement was only the start of it and it girls like Miley that help get it moving forward.Guys, spare a thought for young girls that actually have it beyond hard little orphan girls in Africa who live a daily nightmares we all are aware of but somewhat helpless to make a difference but again movements and people like Miley help. The Queen of Bad Girls

RiRi is known for taking people on that she does not agree with, such as refusing the half time show at the Super Bowl to show her support for another great cause Black Lives Matter. We also love the fact she’s cool with her body and knows her weight fluctuates which inspired her to create her fashion line Savage X Fenty which will someday be worth billions of dollars.And yes girls I mention money because its ok for guys to be ambitious and free so I want that for us to, so let take it from the top with Rihanna’s Business Bio below.Rihanna is a Barbadian singer, fashion designer, actress, and businesswoman, who has been recognized for embracing various musical styles and reinventing her image throughout her career. Rihanna has an estimated net worth of $600 million which is such a powerful Statement to make in this so called man’s world. She is on her way to becoming a Billionaire along with all of the above.Cheers to the freakin' weekendI drink to that, yeah yeahOh let the Jameson sink inAnd Cheers to the BAD GIRLS out there, wish I was onehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vcc10IrsNJk Turn it Girls YEAAAAAHHHHHHHH and enjoy it in the back ground while read just as I am doing while I write haha. Style Advice as a bonus The Over-sized Shirt matched with shorts is the fabulous iconic look which come straight to mind when I think of Ri Ri this year. To me it shouts the Boss is here move over as she signed some major deals with LVMH and took the world by storm with her Lingerie Brand which included sizes for all of us lady’s. Come on guys she is a mogul we are LOVING Ri Ri forever.Ok I nearly forgot my tip for you on this is to achieve look for free.Borrow a shirt from your Boyfriend, Dad or Hubby and by borrow I mean as soon as I get makeup on it you’ll never want it back haha. Accessorize with a nice slim belt and a necklace like Ri Ri and you have a free outfit ready to roll.Girl & Ladies Who Inspire, what they have in common There are a lot of positive words that come to mind when you think of successful women but the major for me when I looked at these ladies isBelief,Belief in themselves. Easy to write the word I know this personally when you get the jitters going on stage or posing for shoot in an outfit that leaves little to the imagination but they have it in spades. Like the ladies with a little self-talk to build your inner confidence, you too can build this strength.“Yes you can do this and you will enjoy this” is mine personally. 10,000 times later it works haha.Passion Each lady Loves what they do, sometimes it is this simple. My two inspirational ladies Izzy and Daisy May both love there industry. Izzy loves creativity and design and Daisy May loves getting her hair and makeup down before she walks down the runway.Work Ethic Talent will only get you so far in live guys, if you do not work like these ladies you will fall short.Rihanna would daily have her dinner standing up as she learned her next dance retune.Ashley Graham call agent and offer to model for free, I have given you tip before guys about learning how to get a job in the fashion and beauty industry. Work for free until they see you’re worth paying.Coco Chanel done everything under the sun to get her business off the ground and even broke a bull shit law back then but she still drove forward to her goal.Of course they are many other ingredients to make a successful women but to me and the ladies in family present and past. These are the corner stones, the foundations of how women can gain their independence, freedom and shine like diamonds we are.Guys if you have any stories, movies or books of ladies who inspire you, please do share or leave in the comments below and I will get in touch and may include it in a future post.Thank you guys, I know it’s a long post but that’s the point.Finish what you start and enjoy what you do.Loving conquers all.ByButtercup RyanEditor and Blogger at Loving The Sales  Read the full article

Gotham 3.18 – Light the Wick

As I watched it, and with some random observations here and there.

Previously on Gotham.

Bruce’s boring training goes on. And on.  Selina is defenestrated.  Jim joins the Court and wonders if his dad felt as dumb in that mask as he does.  Ed shoots Oswald.  Oswald wakes up and tells Ivy there’s someone he needs to kill. Barnes doesn’t need a cure.  Lee flees.

As always, long post will be long - reaaally long.  There are likely to be rambling digressions. Gobblepot may appear (although I welcome all shippers and non-shippers alike :)).  There will be naked favouritism and naked not-favouritism.  Broader comments at the end on plotlines and parallels and general direction.

Arkham, where a straitjacket clad and masked Barnes is being led out through the prison yard - chanting guilty, guilty.  Jervis and his distractingly soft hair watch him being taken away, and wonders aloud in rhyme what’s going on. 

Suddenly, Barnes overpowers the guards and starts beating them, which pleases Jervis. From nowhere, a court assassin appears and tries to stick him with a syringe - and seemingly succeeds, as an enraged Barnes collapses mid-attempted-strangulation of said assassin.  Jervis watches all this, wide-eyed, and wonders what mysterious forces are at play in the dead of night.  

More Jervis please – his glee is much needed.  And his other things..  

(An aside.  As frightening as Barnes is now, he's still vulnerable here, and there’s something about seeing Jervis in his paper hat, wondering aloud in his compulsive rhyme about what's going on, and utterly powerless to do anything that highlights the main thing that makes the Court so repulsive: their firm conviction in their own superiority, which leads to their utter contempt for, but willingness to use, people they deem to be beneath them.  We've seen before that inmates in Arkham are about as vulnerable as you can be in Gotham – viewed as disposable.  Simply taking one of them from a place where they are supposed to be safe just leaves a very nasty taste in the mouth.)

A very red, industrial looking lab with Kathryn and Barnes.  Barnes is not impressed, but Kathryn describes herself as a fan and says she wants the same thing he does.  The Court’s commitment to aesthetic extends to quilted leather straitjackets.

Kathryn says the Court wants Gotham to be judged and the guilty punished.  Barnes promises: release me and I'll do just that.  But Kathryn wants judgment on a large scale.

We need what's inside of you.

Here comes Hugo – and it’s testament to how fantastic BD Wong is that you can recognise him from his walk alone.  It’s also testament that you can find him frightening and loathsome – but still be glued to the screen when he’s on.

Barnes has spotted him to and his face twitches.  There’s hate and revulsion – Strange is a criminal – but there’s also fear, I think. Barnes must remember what Hugo was getting up to.

Don’t worry.  I’ll make sure he doesn't drain you completely.

Strange holds up a syringe.

This might sting

GCPD, the Captain’s Office – where Harvey stares out the window at a rainy city.  Behind him, Lee clears her throat.  She tells him that Uncle Frank’s death was a homicide, and she wants a proper investigation, and Jim questioned.  Harvey asks incredulously if she actually thinks Jim killed Frank and tries to brush her off.  Lee insists that Jim is involved somehow, and wants to know who else is involved.  Harvey puts a hand to his chest in feigned indignation and asks if she’s implying he’s involved.  Lee starts to get more irate

Tell me I'm wrong.  Look me in the eyes and tell me I'm crazy.

Harvey tries to brush her off again, ascribing her behaviour to feeling upset over the whole business with Jim and Mario which – to be honest-  is a bit gross and gaslighting.

Not crazy - hurt – there’s nothing going on

Lee stares at him, hurt, and then turns on her heel.

We used to be friends, Harvey

She promises that she will find out what’s going on.

The Court, where Kathryn is going on about judgment.  Apparently they get to submit lists of some sort.  She enjoys the sound of her own voice for a bit and then wraps up

We are adjourned

Jim watches her replace mask on a stand type thing, and leaves.

Sirens – where Ivy plaintively asks Tabitha if she’s seen Selina.  She says that Selina knew Barbara Kean.  When Tabitha asks if Ivy and Selina hung out, Ivy tells her that Selina is bossy, and that they would get into fights – but yes, they hung out, and they’re kind of friends.  We see Tabitha – who has her back to Ivy – look conflicted for a moment, obviously reminded of Barbara – before turning and telling Ivy that Selina is in Gotham General.

The Court.  Jim is back in the meeting room, trying to scrape skin and hair from Kathryn’s mask in order to try and figure out who she is. He’s caught in the room by another Owl, but manages to make up a lie about not understanding the list thing from the meeting.  Apparently, it’s a list of names of those to be spared.  Jim writes something – I’m guessing Lee’s name, nods, and leaves.

At the hospital, a distraught Ivy spots Selina.

No!  You can't be!

The doctor tries to usher her out, but Ivy wafts a wrist under her nose, and demands to know what happens. The doctor tells her.  We then get a painful reminder that Ivy is – at heart – still a child.

Tell me she's going to be alright

The doctor mindlessly does just as she asks.  Irritated, Ivy asks more carefully.  The doctor says that all they essentially do now is make her comfortable.  Ivy dismisses the doctor.  She tells Selina not to listen to them.

  They can't do what I can do.  I will heal you.  I promise.

In the weird red lab, opera plays while Hugo works while Kathryn watches.  Hugo pouts about being held against his will and doesn't like being hovered over.  Kathryn taunts him about playing nursemaid to Fish, but the taunt doesn’t work, because Hugo is proud of saving Fish.  Kathryn sourly comments that grandstanding doesn’t suit him, and asks if he’s done what was asked of him.  Hugo grandstands some more:

See for yourself

Oh, no.   I hate stuff like this.  A poor man in glass cage begs to know what's going on.  Hugo has figured out how to release the blood as a gas/vapour/whatever, and does so.  The man becomes enraged, and looks rabid.  Kathryn helpfully summarises for anyone who hasn’t been paying attention.

You’ve weaponised the virus.

More of Bruce's boring training.  The man promises he can win and go free.  He goes on about how Bruce thinks pain and anger can be harnessed – but he insists it doesn’t have to be part of him.  Bruce flashes back to his parents’ murder, and loses the fight.  The man asks him why he was defeated.  Er – because you keep sticking needles in his forehead and harping on about his dead parents?

However, he claims it was the emotion that caused the defeat.  He tells Bruce rage and pain are two sides of same coin.  He needs to let go of the pain.

(An aside – which doesn’t happen.  You don’t just let go of that kind of pain.  It’s always there.  And how you’re coping with it fluctuates – but the idea that you can just let it go is a sham)

Harvey calls Jim at home and says that his samples have let them identify Kathryn as a Monroe – an old Gotham family.  Jim outlines an insanely risky plan, which makes even Harvey wince.  He warns Jim about Lee’s request, and tells him she’s in a pretty dark place.  He also mentions Barnes’ transfer before hanging up.

Jim steps outside his front door… and Oswald is waiting in the alley outside his home, standing slightly raised on a staircase, and in front of a sign that says ‘Warning.  Extreme Danger’, because Oswald knows how to make an entrance.

Jim is wide-eyed.  He’s not just shocked.  There’s no amusement in there either – or anything disgruntled.  His response is deep – but there’s something.... clean and soft about it.

Oswald

Oswald smiles.  Hello Jim.

Jim guesses he shouldn't be surprised.  Oswald grins and comments that yes, he is quite hard to kill.  There’s a sudden rush of flame behind Jim – Oswald has brought Firefly. I’m….. not entirely sure what for, exactly?  She’s very conspicuous – and she’s not really needed here.

Anyway – Oswald is looking for Ed, but can’t find him.  He’s quickly twigged what went on with Jim and the Court – because he seems to have regained some of his brains.  Jim plays cagey.  Oswald deliberately brushes past him. Jim doesn’t budge.  Turning back to Jim, Oswald flat out says he thinks Jim’s handed Ed to the Court.  Jim looks him in the eye, and – keeping his voice slow and intent - tells him to drop it, for his own sake.

(An aside - It’s notable that he doesn’t threaten Oswald, or tell him to stay out of something that doesn’t concern him, or complain that he’ll jeopardise a case.  He tells him to stay away to avoid getting hurt.)

Oswald turns, laughing, to Firefly saying that he knew it.  Jim falls back on old habits, grabs Oswald’s lapels, and pulls him close enough that they’re almost nose to nose.

You don’t know anything.  Trust me - let it go.

He tilts his head, and lets a wide-eyed Oswald go – who won’t be dissuaded. He wants Jim to arrange a meet, and leaves a phone with only his number on it.

Jim says that he has the feeling he’s being threatened.  Oswald looks rattled and somewhat hurt by this comment.

This is a favour, Jim

He then looks almost tearful – like he wants reassurance.

After all - we're old friends

(An aside. Having had a recent crash course in exactly how thoroughly friendship can be betrayed - Oswald looks genuinely stung by Jim's comment about being threatened. And I honestly think he's sincere.  He sees them as old friends. It just so happens that lapel-grabbing and tense conversations in alleys with all kinds of undercurrents are part of their friendship. He also has even bigger trust issues than he had before, and he wants Jim to confirm that – yes, they are old friends)

He turns and leaves, with Firefly in wake.  Jim watches him go.  As always with Oswald – it’s hard to tell exactly what Jim is thinking.  His thoughts on Oswald are just as complicated and tangled as Oswald’s are on Jim – but Oswald’s all play out on his face, whereas Jim keeps a stoic face on.

(An aside - You know, if I were to have simply described that scene outside the context of Gotham - a blond, square-jawed detective and a pale, fine-boned gangster meeting in an alley, gazing intensely at each other and standing close enough to feel each other’s breath, while a smiling leather-clad woman holds a flamethrower in the background – you’d think I was describing some particularly extravagant 80s New Romantic music video.  But no – it’s Gotham, and Jim and Oswald playing their usual game)

Jim waits in his car, watching the front door of a very fancy building – presumably Kathryn’s house. He sneaks in after he sees a man leave. It’s all very restrained and correct and upper-class, in Kathryn's house.  I imagine she must despise the likes of Oswald, and Barbara, and Jervis and Fish and the rest. So showy, so vulgar to her.  

 Jim snoops and finds a key card taped to the bottom of a drawer.  He’s caught when Kathryn returns but manages – just about – to rescues the situation.  He tells her that Oswald knows about Ed’s disappearance and will expose the Court if they don’t talk with him.  She’s dismissive, sneering is that all.  Jim ups the ante, and says that he’s proven himself, and wants a seat at the table. She approves of his ambition.  He wants to know that this judgment will be. Kathryn will ask what he’ll do if he doesn’t like what he hears.

She tells him that Gotham is so numb to violence and crime that showing them their darkest self is the only way to get attention.  Kathryn says she’ll consider his request, but that he should leave her house at once.

As he’s leaving the building, Jim calls Harvey and just about yells down the phone about how he knows what’s going on now.  Jesus Christ, Jim. Kathryn watches from the  balcony as he leaves, and presumably wonders why exactly they wanted Jim Gordon again?

Back at GCPD, Jim, Lucius and Harvey talk it through.  There’s a lot of science talk that results in them figuring out that Barnes has been taken in order to synthesise the virus.  There’s only a limited number of Wayne Enterprise Labs, and Lucius thinks he can guess where Barnes is now.

Ivy and two nurses bring plants to Selina's room.  Ivy tells Selina she's always been there for her, even when she screwed up.  She tells her to breathe deep and she'll be here when she wakes up.  Then, she again says something childlike enough to hurt your chest.

Just wake up – ok?

Bruce again.  There’s a lot about rage and giving up memories and emotion as a prison.  They enter a memory and go back to the first time Bruce felt rage after his parents died, at the wake – when mourners were all worried about him, and not angry about the death.  His father was supposed to be buried wearing favourite cufflinks Bruce had bought him, but Bruce couldn’t let them go.

Guru guy says it’s time to let them go.  There’s a safe in the room now.  He tells Bruce that if he locks them away – he’s free of their power

(An aside. Locking away isn't the same as moving on.  It's locking away.  The stuff in the safe doesn't go away, and locking it in a safe is only a confirmation of how powerful it is.  On top of that – if you keep on that path, the safe eventually gets too full, the door bursts open, and then you’re in for a fun period of being very fucked up)

Jim and Harvey enter the creepy lab, now with dead technicians, for added ambience, and encounter the man Hugo demonstrated the virus on.  He says he lost control, and he didn’t want to do it.  Jim tries to arrest him.  He loses his temper and attacks them, strangling Jim before Hugo stops him, plunging a syringe into his neck.

Hugo, as preternaturally calm as ever, glides past Harvey’s clumsy attempt to arrest him.  He’s essentially crafted a plan where he can stay safe whoever wins.  Jim sneers at his playing both sides.  He also gives Jim his notes and a phial of antidote.  He tells them that the delivery mechanism for the virus has arrived, and that if they make any kind of noise or fuss, then the Court will likely just deploy the weapon.   Harvey hilariously calls him a ‘logical bastard’

Jim and Harvey leave. As Jim walks to the car, he practically yells that he

HAS TO FIND OUT WHERE KATHRYN IS TESTING THE BOMB!!!

Jim – you’re a detective. Have you ever noticed how people have ears?

His phone rings.  It’s Kathryn, who tells him to meet her, to judge whether he’s worthy of the light.  Do sod off, Kathryn.  And take your weird God complex with you.

Boring training retreat place, where Bruce defeats his opponent.  Guru guys tells him it’s because he removed the destructive emotions. Bruce says he felt nothing.  The man smiles, and tells him he return to Gotham if he wants - but he can take the pain away.  Bruce decides to continue training.

In yet another fancy building. Jim meets Kathryn.  There’s some kind of social event going on below: ‘Daughters of Gotham’.  She tells Jim to hand over his phone and gun, and then spouts noblesse oblige for a bit before telling Jim about the plan to release the Tetch virus in a bomb.  They’re going to test both Jim and the bomb here: she wants to see whether he is willing to go through with this.  If he tries to stop it – he’ll be executed.  She leaves.

Jim watches the clock and tries to make conversation with Talon.  Remembering Oswald’s phone, he stealthily dials while Talon’s attention is diverted, and manages to get the details of where he is and what’s going on to Oswald – who was initially confused, but catches on fast.

(An aside – the fact that this works as well as it does is testament to how well Jim and Oswald know each other, reinforcing again that they have a long and complex history)

Lucius is at GCPD, locking up a cabinet containing the samples from Hugo.   Lee asks him outright what is going on, and if he’s helping Jim, sucked into his madness.  Lucius tells her more than Harvey

You’ve got it wrong – Jim’s trying to make sure what happened to Mario never happens again

But he stops short of actually telling her the truth, which infuriates her.  She tells Lucius he’s just like everyone else at GCPD, and strides out.

(An aside - I'm very confused about why Lee is being kept in the dark.  She’s clever, resourceful and determined.  It's not like she's untrustworthy, either: she kept quiet enough – after all -  about the fact that Jim has two murders to his name.  So why can't she know about this?  Is it meant to be some hamfisted chivalrous attempt to protect her?  Not sure how she's likely to feel about that one.  She doesn’t deserve to be treated like a child who needs to be protected.)

Back with Jim, the bomb is counting down.  He decides it’s now or never

Screw it (The Gordon family motto)

and starts fighting with Talon.  He’s coming off worse – when there’s a burst of fire, and Talon is roasted and sent backwards through the window.   Oswald and Brigit have arrived.  Jim yells at the screaming crowd to evacuate, and – turning to Oswald – tells him he took long enough -  what with their Mr Rochester/Jane Eyre psychic link and all, Jim clearly expected him to arrive sooner.

Oswald asks about his promised meeting.  Jim tells him that the Court has weaponised the Tetch virus, and that the bomb below will infect everyone in the vicinity.  Oswald’s eyes widen, but he reminds him they had a deal.  Jim says that torching their assassin was probably an effective calling card, and that they’ll be in touch with him.

Jim runs down below and rescues a little girl, before closing the doors on the virus.  I’m dubious that doors in a building that old would be airtight.

The snake oil guru calls Kathryn and says that Bruce has bought into his sales spiel.

Bruce believes in destiny and a life free of pain

Kathryn is pleased, and says that everything is ready.

At the Van Dahl mansion, Oswald is having a tantrum - which seems to entertain Brigit.

Why haven't they made contact, and where the hell is Ivy and the human popsicle?

Elijah’s portrait is very dominant in this scene.  Something speeds past, taking Brigit out, and we see a court assassin.  Jim did tell you to leave this alone, Oswald.

At the hospital, Ivy has turned Selina's room into a greenhouse. Selina breathes, and Ivy starts.

Selina are you ok?  Say something so I know you're ok

Selina says that the room smells like pot pourri

Ivy hugs her – delighted and relieved.  Selina immediate starts unhooking herself from tubes and machines.  Ivy asks her what she’s doing and Selina – in a perfect echo of Oswald a few episodes ago – tells her that she’s got to go kill someone.

Jim walks into the M.E’s room, where Lee is packing up.  She’s resigning and then leaving town.  Jim tells her she belongs here.  She says she thought she did – but Jim infected the place.  She’s done with him, with GCPD, with Gotham.  He’s taken everything away from her, and she has nothing left.  She doesn’t even understand why

And for what?  I would ask for the truth, but you don't even know it.

Jim says he’s done apologising for killing Mario – he was about to kill Lee.  Lee clearly doesn’t believe this.  She says that even before that – Mario was only infected because Jervis was trying to get to Jim.

Jim tells her to go ahead and blame him, and to walk away – but it will not help.  He also throws back at her the accusation she’s made repeatedly – calling her a hypocrite

You keep asking how I could just walk away - move on.  Guess you know now.

Lee looks back at him. There’s nothing positive on her face. Hurt, regret, disgust, dislike – you name it.  

(An aside – Jim’s comment to Lee about walking away flags up the bullshit Bruce is being fed.  Also – I thought we’d see Jim and Lee back together again by the finale, but things look very poisoned).

In her desirable townhouse, Kathryn realises her Wayne Enterprise card is missing.  Ooops, Jim.

In some house belonging to the Court, Oswald is in a cage and, worse, in a grey jumpsuit.

My name is Oswald Cobblepot and I demand to speak to the person in charge.

We hear a gasp, and then Ed’s voice.

Oswald.  You're alive

Oswald turns slowly and stares.

Ed gulps, and you can see genuine fear on his face.  It’s justifiable, because Oswald's possibly never looked as frightening as this before. He lunges at Ed through the bars and, frankly, Ed is probably lucky that he encountered him in this setting, because if Oswald had had a knife in his hand, I think Ed would have been a goner.

In a Court building somewhere, Jim’s disappointed proxy parents have a family chat.  Kathryn apologises to Barnes for turning down his earlier offer of individually meting out punishment.  Her face is twisted with rage when she says that Jim Gordon has been deceiving her from the start.

Barnes eyes go black at the mention of Jim.  Kathryn wants him dead. Straining, Barnes breaks his restraints.

I will be his executioner

Kathryn smiles.

Pain and rage are two sides of the same coin

Bruce’s guide extols the virtue of leaving pain and rage behind and moving on as a solution to pain.

Lee can’t let go of her obsession with what she sees as Jim’s ability to wreck lives and move on, unscathed. It might not make sense, after all, she saw boozy bounty hunter Jim, and knows exactly how close he came to a mafia hit – but she’s fixated on it all the same.

What would possibly help to dissuade her of it would be – you know - actually talking to her.  Lucius comes close, but still leaves her in the dark. Harvey comes uncomfortably close to gaslighting, using her real emotional pain to try and explain away her legitimate suspicions over Frank’s death.

But no-one will talk to her, and now she’s stewing in suspicion, as well as flipping between pain and rage, increasingly landing more on rage. 

Oswald is out for revenge, motivated by rage and pain.  I’d also argue this is a necessity for Oswald, though.  In his line of business, he cannot be seen as weak or vulnerable. It’s not clear how much is known about what happened – but if Oswald wants to regain his crown, he has to send a message about what happens to anyone who crosses him.  He can’t simply move on.

Bruce’s mentor spouts platitudes like a self-help book, and a discredited one at that.  Bruce is to let pain and anger go, but then he’s to lock pain and anger away.  Both are equally facile.  Then he’ll be magically able to move on, clean and in control.  But you can’t let go of loss.  You live with loss.  

Sundries

Ivy – for all we’ve seen her order murders – is a sweetheart.  I can only hope she’s not too horribly hurt by the end of the season.

Fish is conspicuous by her absence. I wonder if Hugo is her man on the inside: we’ve seen her ability to command loyalty before.

I don’t know if Oswald’s referring to Victor as a ‘human popsicle’ bodes well for the freak alliance. At least Ivy hasn’t acquired an unpleasant nickname, for all she calls him Pengy

It would be good if they’d spent more time fleshing Lee out.  She seems utterly alone, and I feel like she would have someone to talk to outside work.  I’m curious to see what the virus does with her. She’s currently preoccupied with Jim, but the virus is supposed to reach into your darkest corners and draw out what it finds.  There is (or should be) more to Lee’s personality than how she relates to Jim.

And still no Mr Zsasz.

Thoughts?

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Transcript of How Installing a Marketing System Serves Consultants and Their Clients

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John Jantsch: Marketing is a system, you’ve probably heard me say that before, but maybe you’ve never heard me talk about the Duct Tape Marketing Consultant Network. That’s right, I have a network of about 125 consultants that collaborate and work together, and use the Duct Tape Marketing System. So in this episode of the Duct Tape Marketing Podcast, I interview Ben Robertson. He is a consultant in the New Hampshire area and he talks about his experience being a member of the network. Check it out.

This episode of the Duct Tape Marketing Podcast is brought to you by Asana, a work management software tool that we use to run pretty much everything in our business. All of our meetings, all of our product launches, all of our tasks. And I’m gonna show you how you can try it for free a little later.

Stuff like payroll and benefits are hard, that’s why I switched to Gusto. And to help support the show, Gusto is offering our listeners an inclusive limited time deal. You sign up for their payroll service today, you’ll get three months free once you run your first payroll. Just go to gusto.com/tape.

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Duct Tape Marketing Podcast. This is John Jantsch, and my guest today is Ben Robertson. He is a marketing consultant and founder of Menadena in lovely Keane, New Hampshire, a city I’ve actually been to. He also happens to be a member of the Duct Tape Marketing Consultant Network. So we’re gonna talk about his practice but we’re also going to talk a little bit about, I don’t spend that much time talking about the network necessarily on the podcast, so we’re gonna do a little bit of that as well. So Ben, thanks for joining me.

Ben Robertson: Yeah, thank you John.

John Jantsch: I have to ask, Menadena certainly has some sort of meaning or something, there’s gotta be a good story.

Ben Robertson: Yeah, so I live in the Monadnock region of Southwest New Hampshire. We have the most climbed mountain in America, actually, Mount Monadnock. And-

John Jantsch: I’ve been there, on the shores of Lake [inaudible]-

Ben Robertson: Have you?

John Jantsch: On the shores of Lake [inaudible] or something like that.

Ben Robertson: That, well, one or the other, there are a few lakes around it. But it-

John Jantsch: I hiked up there. I hiked all the way up there, yeah.

Ben Robertson: And its distinguishing feature as you may remember it, is it has no mountains around it. So it stands up from the landscape and it’s surrounded by flat land and lakes. And so that’s the meaning of a monadnock and so when I was looking for a business name, I wanted to use that but it was taken, as you can imagine. So it turns out that the Abenaki Indians who were one of the Native populations here, their name for Monadnock was Menadena.

John Jantsch: Oh, awesome. Well, that’s good. I knew-

Ben Robertson: Yeah, it’s an Abenaki Indian word.

John Jantsch: That is a cool story.

Ben Robertson: Thank you.

John Jantsch: Thanks for sharing. So you joined the Duct Tape Marketing Consultant Network, I lose track of time but it’s probably been two years?

Ben Robertson: No, actually, just one year ago, I just anniversaried right around the time of the summit back in October.

John Jantsch: Maybe, let’s set it up by … describe your practice and then maybe describe … and maybe you can say, “Here’s what I used to do, here’s what I do now”, describe your practice and maybe what being part of the network meant for you.

Ben Robertson: Yeah. So that’s a great way to get going. So I started off as a freelance website designer and what happened was that my customers were mostly small businesses and they wanted marketing services in addition to website design and that’s how I ended up joining Duct Tape Marketing because I was providing marketing services but I felt like there was a lot that … I didn’t wanna reinvent the wheel, and I felt like Duct Tape Marketing offered a great system for ready-made, turn-key solutions that I could plug and play for my customer base. And that’s how I ended up joining a year ago and I actually just did my annual review and 2019 strategic planning and this year, we did 13 websites, which was great, but we curious have 11 customers that are in Duct Tape Marketing package services. So that’s a huge change.

I think when I joined Duct Tape Marketing, basically what that means is having them on retainer, I probably had maybe two customers on retainer. So I’ve added nine customers on retainer since then and the value of those retainers has gone up considerably from where it was back when I first joined. So it’s definitely been a good business development for me as far as the benefits of being part of Duct Tape Marketing Network and having access to the resources.

John Jantsch: Well, you know, it’s funny but we have, I always talk about it as three different avenues that people join us. And certainly about a third of the network are people like yourself, you were offering a service, so to speak, website design or SEO or something little that and did you find that you were getting asked to do some of this or you were leaving money on the table? Or even maybe worse, people would come to you and want a website design but they had no strategy and so you pretty much had to do it for free?

Ben Robertson: Yeah, well. So basically what was happening was I was getting asked to do stuff and I was doing it with some degree of success. I was training myself through online courses. I took a Moz bootcamp in SEO and I was developing some expertise but I felt like I just wanted to accelerate that process and develop the expertise faster. So that’s where … I feel like I’ve lost a little bit the thread of the question but I can give you one example of something kind of bad that happened. It was horrible but I charged one customer upfront for a lot of SEO work that we got done and then it was over and they were like, “Alright, great, where are the results?”

And there were results but I realized afterwards that it would have been much better to be offering those services on a monthly basis, so that we could be ongoing and continuously doing stuff. And because the cost to them is a lot lower per month and the benefit to them is a lot greater over time, if the attention is monthly rather than just one time. And so that was right before I joined Duct Tape Marketing, it was kind of what got me motivated to join, was thinking, “I need a better way to approach what I’m doing because I’m doing it well, but I know that there’s a better way to do it.” And Duct Tape Marketing, now I offer all of my SEO on a monthly retainer basis. Does that answer the question?

John Jantsch: Absolutely. So you didn’t just start this business? You’ve been … well, I shouldn’t say “dabbling”, but you’ve had a business for a decade, right? But you’ve made a pretty significant change.

Ben Robertson: Yeah. I was a financial consultant and a business consultant, so I was doing my start-up finance and strategy and even working as a CFO in start-ups and small investment companies and stuff. And that’s really how the company got going but the living in New Hampshire, we didn’t have access to … that market is very much a, at least for me, it was a New York City market and without being in that network all the time, on a regular basis. You know, I didn’t wanna live down there, so I was struggling to find a way to make a living up here with the same type of skills where the cashflow is predictable.

And what I stumbled upon, because I’m also an actor and a writer and I build websites for myself for my creative work, and I found out the websites sell really well. And people, they just … the cashflow became very steady on those. And then I discovered that I love that strategy part because of my background and I ended up wanting to get involved in the marketing side of things and that’s where I was like, “Alright.” So I knew that you needed frameworks and models to do that and I knew I could develop them myself but I didn’t wanna do it myself because of the amount of time involved and I thought it was much better just to learn from you and use your models and frameworks to solve the problems. And it’s worked out great. It’s been very successful.

John Jantsch: Hey, as I said an intro, this is brought to you by Asana. It’s a work management software tool that we’ve been using for a long time, our entire team. It just allows us to be so much more productive, to unify our communication, to keep track of tasks to assign and delegate, pretty much run everything from meetings all the way up through our client work. And you can get it and try it free for 30 days because you are a listener. So get started at asana.com/ducttape. That’s Asana, A-S-A-N-A .com/ducttape.

So what’s been your best way to get clients? I know that’s always … it seems like consultants fall into two camps, those that continually struggle to get new clients and those who get overwhelmed because they get too many clients and they don’t have a system. What’s been your way to get clients? Sounds like you’ve got a pretty full practice right now.

Ben Robertson: Yeah. I would say it’s full but it’s a range of size on the customers. But most of these customers are coming through word of mouth. If I look through the list, they’re pretty much all people that I knew or I knew somebody who knew … on the marketing side. You know, you’re referred by a customer, kind of thing. On the website side, a lot more of those just comes straight through the internet because I think people are Googling on “website designer near me”, kind of thing. And they find my website and so those are a lot more anonymous. There’s more anonymous people in that batch. But on the marketing side, the word of mouth referrals are super helpful because it’s a bigger commitment and having somebody to vouch for you and say, “Yeah, he did a great job for me” really helps in making the sale.

John Jantsch: So you wanna talk about, and feel free to mention names or don’t, but do you wanna talk about a client or two, success, kinda wanna us through what you’ve done and why you think it’s been effective and obviously then any results you wanna share?

Ben Robertson: Yeah. I guess there are some case stories on my website. I’d rather just talk more generally in terms of the types of companies, but I guess people could figure it out if wanted to figure it out because the thing that I’ve been trying to do is build a base of good case studies. We find a package or a set of strategies that work really well together and then roll those out to other companies once we’ve figured out something that works. Because then we can go and say, “Look, this is the type of results we got for them, probably this system would work for you.”

And one of the first really good case studies using the Duct Tape Marketing is a home services pest control company on Cape Cod that’s a franchise and we basically applied … we did their website and then applied the Duct Tape Marketing system this year. The first year we did their website, this year we did the Duct Tape Marketing system and the package that we gave them that worked really well was basically local foundation, which is directory management, reviews and SEO, plus Google Ads. And that combo hits a lot of area of the funnel that are pretty useful. You get trust with the reviews, we made them the number one rated pest control company on Cape Cod for ticks and mosquitoes.

And then on the know side, with the SEO, we were able to help them get a number of location results that they hadn’t previously had because all the problems with global search. If you’re looking in one place it’s hard to get found in another place. We solved that problem and then with Google Ads, we were able to do a next level of making sure that we always showed up in the right searches. And the combo was super successful and what we found is that we were able to then roll that out to other problem services, businesses, contractors, where it’s a similar type of problem that we’re solving.

But the thing that really makes it work and really sells the business when it comes time to talk to the customer or talk to new customers is having goal tracking and conversion tracking so that we can really do a good job of showing the customer what their cost per lead is in all their marketing channels. And I think that kind of data and analytics has been super important.

John Jantsch: Wouldn’t it be great if in your business, all you had to do was the stuff you love? The reason you started the business and not all that administrative stuff like payroll and benefits. That stuff’s hard. Especially when you’re a small business. Now, I’ve been delegating my payroll for years to one of those big corporate companies and I always felt like a little tiny fish but now there is a much better way. I’ve switched over to Gusto and it is making payroll and benefits and HR easy for the modern small business. You no longer have to be a big company to get great technology, get benefits and great service to take care of your team. To help support the show, Gusto is offering our listeners an exclusive, limited time deal. If you sign up today, you’ll get three months free, once you’re on your first payroll. Just go to gusto.com/tape.

And let’s unpack that a little bit because I think a lot of people either don’t mess with it because it seems technical or hard, but in a lot of ways for a consultant, it’s kinda what proves your value. If you’re gonna send that check out every month, show me some results. And I think in the retainer world, you suffer a little bit of “What have you done for me lately?” And so I agree with you wholeheartedly. Talk a little bit about, you mentioned goal tracking and I’m guessing you mean in analytics?

Ben Robertson: Yeah. So the most important goal tracking that we’ve been able to do is call tracking. I think most of what we’re getting is phone calls for a service business. And then also some form submission tracking. All of that can be done through Google analytics and the beauty of it is that we can very clearly show the customer, for this ad budget, this was the cost of this lead. So for a hypothetical home services business that we have been doing this on, you could … some numbers that are somewhat real, pretty real, I just don’t want to be too specific about how real they are but anyway, direct mail, for example, we found was $2.50 a lead. Value pack inserts were around $100 a lead. Google Ads was around $25 to $30 a lead. And then the cheapest referrals were from yard signs, truck wraps and actual referrals from customers where you refer a friend, you get $25 and they get $25, that kind of thing, so it’s 50 bucks for a closed customer, which usually the leads, they don’t all close, so the prices are …

So by being able to give them a range of that, it really just helps the customer so much in figuring out, once they all rely on different types of marketing spent and if somebody calls up and says, “Hey, let’s put an ad on the radio” and you put an ad on the radio and you use a tracking number and you can then say, alright, how many people called that number off that ad and it cost us a grand or whatever it was, we can very quickly look at it in the mix and just say, “Okay, this is what your radio spots are costing. This is what your Google Ads are costing. This is what your yard signs are costing.” And then they look at their marketing as not this thing that I spend money on or I kinda hope it works but they can be strategic about how they’re spending their money.

John Jantsch: Yeah. If I invest $26, I know I get [inaudible].

Ben Robertson: That’s right. That’s right.

John Jantsch: I suspect that the other part of that formula though, of course, is how much could they spend. Because I know sometimes, especially with AdWords. I mean, there’s some search terms that just don’t get that much vibe. You can say “I want it all” but it’s still not enough to really produce what you wanna do and so by, I think, having that number, you can say, “Well, direct mail is a lot more expensive but if we wanna crank this thing up and the lifetime value of the customer justifies it”, then … it just gives you the full range, doesn’t it?

Ben Robertson: That’s right. Yeah, absolutely and that’s what we’re … once you’ve done the low-hanging fruit of all the cheap stuff like the truck wraps, the yard signs and the referrals, then Google AdWords is kind of the next level of expense. Every industry is different. And then yeah, you’re just working your way up the chain of how much volume you wanna pull in.

John Jantsch: What does it take for you to convince a … this happens all the time, somebody comes and says, “I want SEO” or “I want AdWords” or “I just need a new website.” What does it take for you to convince them or demonstrate or teach them the whole idea of how all this stuff works together?

Ben Robertson: Actually, the most useful tool that I’ve been using lately from a marketing standpoint is actually current analytics and reports of existing clients. I don’t give them to them but I show them to them so they can just see what the analytics look like and the analytics, they’re usually sold in a very short period of time once they see … because they’ve been operating, John, a lot of those people are operating in worlds where they’re spending what is to them a considerable amount of money and they have absolutely zero idea of how much it really is hitting their bottom line. They know it’s working but when you can show them at granular level how well it’s working and very precisely, it’s a game changer for them.

John Jantsch: Yeah, and I imagine you come across clients that just have taken the approach of “We have to be in all these things and we’ve always done direct mail” or “We’ve always done this thing or that thing” and all of a sudden, you run the numbers or you start tracking the numbers and you realize they could just cut that out. That’s just a waste. You know?

Ben Robertson: Exactly. Exactly.

John Jantsch: [crosstalk] all of sudden it’s … “Wow, our ROI went through the roof”. You know? And the unfortunate thing with small business owners, and I’m sure you run across this, everybody’s trying to sell them one of these tactics and their phone’s ringing off the hook with people saying they’re Google, so having somebody who can show them hard numbers and why, I think, is gotta be very valuable.

Ben Robertson: Yeah, no, it’s been a great approach and a lot of it goes back to my early career, when I worked on Wall Street and I remember very clearly, one of the sales guys saying to me, “You’ve got a seat here and you’ve gotta earn eight to 11 times in revenue, the value of this seat in order for us to keep you.” And so it was an immediate, either you perform or you’re out. And so I feel like with marketing, it’s really the same thing. You’re having to earn your value every day.

John Jantsch: It’s shocking though, how many marketing people get by with the “Hey, we just need to do all this stuff” and “There’s really no accountability or tracking.”

Ben Robertson: Activities without … yeah. Yeah. Well, that’s a great opportunity for us.

John Jantsch: So Ben, tell people where they could learn more about you and Menadena.

Ben Robertson: Yeah. My website is Menadena.com and it’s in Keene, New Hampshire. The spelling is M-E-N-A-D-E-N-A and that’s probably the best way to get in touch.

John Jantsch: Yeah, we’ll have that in the show notes as well. So Ben, thanks for joining us and hopefully-

Ben Robertson: Thank you John.

John Jantsch: … next time I’m in Keene, hopefully I’ll bump into you.

Ben Robertson: That would be great and I’m sure … I imagine that I’ll see you somewhere else with Duct Tape Marketing before then.

Read more: ducttapemarketing.com

A Lesson Plan for Videogame Archaeology in the Museum

By Adrián Maldonado

I didn’t wake up that morning thinking I’d be playing an original Street Fighter II Championship Edition arcade console in just a few hours. It turned out to be a very good day.

So I was on Long Island recently for our annual, far-too-short family visit to America. It was also my daughter’s second birthday but it was raining and we needed an indoor activity. She loves planes, trucks and trains, and we were assured that the Cradle of Aviation Museum in Garden City has all that plus good hands-on activities and a toddler room. We were not disappointed on any of those fronts.

But unbeknownst to us, the Cradle of Aviation Museum also has a major videogame history exhibition on at the moment. And this was no ordinary rinky-dink travelling exhibit.  I’m talking all the consoles, or at least 60 different ones, all playable, alongside some 30 original arcade cabinets. Whose birthday was it again?

It’s been a minute since my last post, so get ready for a nerd onslaught. This post will attempt three things: a straightforward review of a videogame history exhibit; some sense of the wider context within videogame museums I’ve been to recently; and finally, something a bit different: a lesson plan for teaching kids about videogames in the museum. I should probably change the blog title to Things No One Asked For, Ever, but in the meantime, do enjoy the blatant work avoidance.

Capsule review

This exhibit is actually a sequel. It began life as a temporary event called The Arcade Age in December 2015, which focused on recreating the experience of arcade gaming using some 50 playable cabinets. The recreated arcade was only accessible in three daily 90-minute sessions. The layout showed the influence of superhero arcadologist Raiford Guins, who was consulted for this exhibit, in its attention toward recreating the dark, cramped, noisy ambiance of an arcade. Judging by photos of the original exhibit, it also had a cool sideline on related material culture like Street Fighter II action figures and Pac-Man lunchboxes. It originally ran through April 2016, and was then extended to September 2016.

After its success, it was redesigned as a more comprehensive exhibition, From the Arcade to the Living Room: A Video Game Retrospective 1972-1999 in November 2016, now including a full history of home gaming consoles alongside a reduced but still impressive list of arcade cabinets. The website doesn’t say whether this will become a permanent exhibit, but they are selling season tickets for hardcore gamers until December 2017. It was this exhibition I stumbled upon one fateful day in June.

Wall of ancestors

The games are laid out in roughly chronological order, beginning with the carcass of a Computer Space cabinet from 1971 at the start. Curator Seamus Keane has been damn near exhaustive, going beyond the usual focus on ‘Golden Age’ arcade games and providing real working examples of lesser-performing systems like the Neo-Geo and the Atari Jaguar. Fulfilling the dream of a 90s indoor kid, it was perhaps the first and last time I’ll ever play a CD-I and a 3DO (note to me 25 years ago: neither was worth the wait).

Besides the snippets of information provided next to each console, historical context was a bit light and there was no clear aim or agenda for the exhibition. Media surrounding the opening fleshed it out a little more, but not much: for curator Keane, it was “a concept I had in my head of telling what I felt was somewhat of a lost history about the social culture and the popular culture, as well as the technological history of the arcade game itself and of the arcade as a social setting.” Hope you caught all that between rounds of Marvel Vs Capcom.

There were only a few thematic displays but they worked well – a wall of ephemera included a Nintendo Power Pad, several strategy guides and a Game Genie (!). A wall display on the Great Video Game Crash of 1983 included a screen playing the documentary Atari: Game Over (2014) next to an Atari 2600 with an ET cartridge you could load yourself, a crucial part of the home gaming experience you rarely get to experience in a museum setting. A cabinet of dead peripherals was also eye-opening in an unexpected way; the juxtaposition of Sega 3D Glasses and a Sega Dreamcast mouse from a decade apart made me think of how Sega was so often ahead of its time, and yet somehow lost the console wars. In the tech world, it doesn’t always pay to be first.

Videogames in the Museum

Touch the artefacts

I’ve been to several videogame museum exhibitions now (and even some videogame museums!) and can confidently say that this was one of the most fun. There was a wall of NES games and a wall of Atari games, but the core of the arcade was in a long, low-ceilinged dark hall. There, the half-assed display cards dwindled to a minimum and the game was the thing. Original cabinets, many of them with fucked-up decals from years of play, were ready to rock, no MAME here. Aside from the usual Golden Age of Arcade stuff, there were plenty of classic 90s cabinets from my era, and even some left-field entrants like Michael Jackson’s Moonwalker, which I thought was a masterpiece when I first played it in 1990 and has accrued tremendous baggage since then.

Best of all was the chronological row of home gaming consoles buried deep in the bunker-like arcade hall. Here in glowing cubicles of glass but not out of reach were the venerated SNES and Genesis games of my formative years, alongside the also-rans like the Sega Saturn. I showed my 2 year-old daughter her first game of Super Smash Bros for the N64. She picked up the control and held it up to her ear like a phone. I have never loved her more.

The ragtag army of 90s CRT veterans

Each console was hooked up to a full-on CRT TV, no messing about with flatscreens, as I’ve groaned about previously. As the exhibition website puts it, they are “all on old school TV tubes!” Each TV was different from the next one, as they had clearly been scavenged piecemeal from various Long Island attics. Some had flatter screens, some bulged out lewdly, but all were hard-bitten survivors from the 90s. They are the real heroes here.

How does this rate? While the Computerspielemuseum in Berlin clearly wins out in almost every way in terms of playability, historical context and design, there was something about the scale of the recreated arcade and lack of interpretation here that charmed me. As Guins has pointed out, the material presence of the cabinets and the consoles are part of the gameplay; they are designed to draw you in and beg you to grab them, and whatever their flaws, their physical interfaces shape how the game is played.

Beyond Retro-Nostalgia: A Lesson Plan

Ready player one

At one point I was able to play technician: I was able to revive a blank TV screen by switching it to channel 3. I felt like a wise elder. I also may have felt very old because I was surrounded by schoolkids. It was a weekday, and we shared the exhibit with a group of fifth-graders (Year 6 for UK readers). For once, it was genuinely interesting to share a museum with a school trip. There have always been children in the videogame exhibitions I’ve visited previously, but they’re always there with their aging nerd parents (of which I am now very much a number). It is certainly worth recording the stories told to a new generation about their cultural heritage. But it was enlightening in a different way to hear what kids said to one another when playing these games.

What I heard blew my mind. I was playing the Double Dragon (1987) arcade cabinet (I’d only ever played the NES version, so this was very exciting indeed), when two boys walked behind me – one of them said to the other, “Double Dragon! I love that game!” How did he know? What else did he know? Has the Internet already made everyone like Wade from Ready Player One? Other kids swapped stories about the games they’d tried, and I felt almost compelled to start writing these candid observations down. They were like little archaeologists unearthing the artefacts of my past and puzzling over what they might mean – but also making more interesting connections with recent games than I could with my nostalgia specs on.

On my way out I ran into one of the schoolteachers and thanked her for taking the kids here, and congratulated her on how well-behaved they all seemed to be even though they were surrounded by a hundred flashing screens. I asked whether this was part of a specific class, and she said no, they usually take the kids to the Cradle of Aviation Museum because science and whatnot, but they dropped into the arcade exhibition because it was there. I asked if they would follow it up in class at all, and she said no.

The Atari Jaguar: and alternate future of 64-bit gaming

That struck me as a bit of a missed opportunity. Here were a few dozen kids having a great time in a museum, handling the technological ancestors of their favourite devices and games. The kids I heard were knowledgeable about videogames, native to them. For all the action in teaching history through videogames, there are no easily accessible resources out there to teach videogames as rare artefacts of a meaningful past. In what other museum exhibition are you allowed to handle, let alone grab and generally get all up in, the archaeology? What better way to learn than by playing?

Don’t get me wrong – museums with videogame exhibitions often provide their own series of educational resources and programmes for school visits, but a quick and very unscientific search shows little coherent agenda for dealing with the historicity of videogame and the material cultures of gaming. As more videogames end up in museums, we do the next generations a real disservice if the whole message is just about how videogames used to be pixellated and now they’re not. The game is not just the visual but the physical, and every console and medium enabled and constrained ways of playing, creating cultures of gaming. To get beyond nostalgia, we need to draw out the untold stories which will engage kids who are playing these objects for the first time.  

There’s at least a PhD thesis in here

Digital archaeology guru Jeremy Huggett recently reminded us about the need to deal with the historicity of technology: as the workings of our gadgets inexorably disappear into smaller and more efficient packages, we know less about how our devices work, and think little about why they are built the way they are. So break open a few controllers and cartridges to teach the history of computing. We assume a linear progression from worse to better technology on the basis that the invisible hand of the market chose the best products over time. So tell the story of the Sega Dreamcast, recognised for its merits only long after its demise. The market of ideas is always in conflict with the actual market, and real innovation is always pitted against the chance for real profit. Teach the Great Video Game Crash and its mountain of destroyed cartridges; debate the value of excavating the recent past, and what else of theirs will remain to be excavated.

It’s not all about the tech, either. You don’t have to wait for Assassin’s Creed: Cuban Missile Crisis to teach kids about the Cold War and why we’re (still) not playing nice with Russia. You can start with games like Contra and Missile Command and talk about ways in which war found its way even into children’s bedrooms in the 1980s. Maybe have a frank discussion about all those Battlefield games they’re playing now. Play the first ten seconds of Double Dragon to introduce the term ‘toxic masculinity’.

There’s a million ways to sneak learning into a trip to the arcade. Teach the kids how to critically read the artefacts; what could be more archaeological?

More photos here.

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Bebe Neuwirth Kicks Off 2018-2019 Kean Stage with “Songs With Piano”

Interview by Danny Coleman

“I couldn’t keep a straight face! I can’t tell you how many times we had to stop taping because I was cracking up and if I watch episodes now, I know my face and I can watch myself and see where I’m just starting to go and I’m trying not to smile; so much for Lilith and the dead pan. We had a very good editor and that’s what that is,” stated a laughing Bebe Neuwirth as she recalled her past role as Lilith Sternin-Crane on the popular 80’s television sitcom, “Cheers.”

Unlike her straight-laced character in that long running series, Neuwirth was funny, engaging and very candid as she discussed her upcoming September 15 and 16 cabaret shows at the Enlow Recital Hall in Hillside, NJ. These events are the openers of the Kean Stage 2018-2019 theater season and for this Tony and Emmy Award winning actress, dancer and vocalist, whether the setting is intimate or grandiose she enjoys both equally.

“No pressure there,” she said once again with a laugh. They each have their charms. I’ve done concerts with symphonies which is absolutely thrilling. I didn’t think I’d like doing that at all and I don’t know why I didn’t think I would but it’s thrilling to have a 70 piece orchestra behind you and then I do the other extreme where it’s just me and this pianist which is also thrilling in its own way. I don’t prefer one over the other because they both have their unique charms and they are very, very fulfilling as a performer. I would say that it’s probably a more visceral event in a way to perform with symphonies because you have that power of so many musicians that I’m playing with but on the other hand it’s a very, very intimate and really just a fine experience to play with just a piano. I’ve not really done anything in between, I do have an album that’s got a couple of other instruments. I’ve got an album that’s called, “Porcelain” and that’s with Scott and maybe three or four other instruments but I haven’t really done concerts with anything in between. Once I did a show with just piano and bass (laughs) but that’s it! So it’s either really, really big or really, really small but I always prefer to be on the stage more than anywhere else. Regardless of what I’m doing there I’d much rather do that. I’m much, much more at home doing that; I’m what they call a theater rat (laughs).”

Accompanying her on these performances will be pianist Scott Cady. When asked if she felt, “Naked to the world or audience” on stage with so little margin for error, where mistakes can be magnified as all eyes are on her; she did not hesitate to respond.

“Interesting but I don’t feel that way. I don’t know whether it’s self-imposed or just the way it is. I really feel like I maintain and need to perform and be truthful all the way through regardless of how many other people are or are not on stage with me. Even if you’re dancing in a huge chorus, if somebody or if I make a mistake, you’ll see it; if everyone is dancing together and one person doesn’t, you’re going to see it. Maybe it’s different if there’s a musician in the audience or somebody who is finely tuned into the music; they’re going to hear everything and then those who aren’t, somebody who just comes to listen, I think they’ll perceive that glitch. I like to go in thinking that there is never anywhere to hide. I mean for me personally that’s not a good way for me to go in, thinking well it’s OK if I make a mistake here because no one is going to know. First of all, I’ll know and no one is going to beat me up any harder than I am but also whether it’s specifically perceived or not it will be detrimental to the whole and you’re really there to serve the piece.” 

Performing from a young age, Neuwirth hit the road with a touring company and then received her first taste of the bright lights of Broadway and to this day she struggles describing the feeling of the very first time she stepped onto a Broadway stage.

“I can’t even describe that to you,” she said with an almost reverent tone. “I’ve been performing on stage since I was seven and a lot, not just recitals or in school. I was performing every year, sometimes twice a year at McCarter Theater in Princeton, I went down to the War Memorial in Trenton and performed there and we toured these ballets a lot when I was a kid. We performed in nursing homes and libraries and grammar schools and there was a lot of performance experience for which I am so grateful because you can go to class all you want but that’s not going to prepare you for what it’s like when you perform and are actually on stage. My first job was when I was 19 to go on tour with, “A Chorus Line,” so I toured all over the country and a few cities in Canada and then I got to do the show on Broadway and here I am, at this point I had an enormous amount of experience performing all different ways and all over the country and yet there was just something different about stepping onto the Shubert Theatre on Broadway in New York City. I cannot describe to you, unless I was a poet, what it was like but I can’t and that’s the best description that I can give to you, is to say that I can’t unless I was a poet. It was amazing, it was beyond thrilling, it was just; now here I am trying to come up with the words to describe it for you but it was supernatural and it was really something and then I couldn’t wait to get back and try it again because I wasn’t sure that I did it as well as I could’ve (Laughs).” 

With experiences like that and her love of acting; is Broadway her favorite place to perform? “I love to be on stage, so wherever the stage is I’m just happy to be there. Live theater is really where I prefer to be and certainly Broadway is a really fantastic place to perform but if I say it’s my favorite it sort of denies how wonderful it is to perform in Chicago or San Francisco or Omaha, Nebraska because there are beautiful wonderful amazing stages all over the country.”

A total entertainment package; has she ever been nominated for a Grammy Award to go along with her other accolades?

“No they’re doing something different now but the “Chicago” original cast album did win a Grammy Award so I am on a Grammy Award winning album but I’ve noticed in the last couple of years that the individuals that are on the original cast albums are named and therefore they receive Grammy Awards also. So I’m not sure what the technical thing is there but many original cast albums have won Grammy Awards but the artists performing on those have not received the award and that’s changing these days. I don’t know what the mechanism for that is or not but my short answer for that is, no I have not won a Grammy (Laughs) but I have participated in a Grammy Award winning album.”

We know of her love for theater and dance but where did her love of music come from? What did she listen to as a youth that may have had an impact and for that matter what does she enjoy now?

“The Beatles of course,” she said confidently. “But I was a little kid and I appreciate them more and more and that’s what we listened to mostly in my house was The Beatles but I love Led Zeppelin (Giggles) and I love Eric Clapton and I love Jimi Hendrix, I mean holy cow and I love AC/DC also so I’m a little bit all over.” 

So what does the future hold for this multi-talented lady? “Boy if I knew what was going on in the future,” she said with a sly chuckle. “Let’s see, I’ve shot a “Blue Bloods” episode this year, there are some penciled in plans to do some more “Blue Bloods” this year which I hope works out and a few more concerts are scheduled. There’s a whole bunch of things that I do for the Actors Fund and for a dance company that I’m on the board of so there’s a whole lot of other things that I do like stuff for Broadway Cares, we’ve got a flea market coming up at the end of the month. In terms of my appearances and performing, those are the only ones that are scheduled right now although there are things that are sort of in the planning stages which of course I can’t talk about right now, so yeah we know how that goes.” 

“Stories With Piano,” features music from Kander and Ebb, Tom Waits, Edith Piaf and Kurt Weill. Neuwirth has stated in a recent press release that she, “Likes the audience to be open to the unexpected” and that is because she, “Takes an unusual approach to some of the songs in her show.” 

So if looking for what promises to be an outstanding evening of music, look no further,  the Enlow Recital Hall is located at 215 North Avenue in Hillside on the East Campus of Kean University. To purchase tickets please go to www.keanstage.com.

Danny Coleman (Danny Coleman is a veteran musician and writer from central New Jersey. He hosts a weekly radio program entitled “Rock On Radio” airing Sunday evenings at 10 p.m. EST on multiple internet radio outlets where he features indie/original bands and solo artists.)

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Pop Picks – July 23, 2018

What I’m listening to:

Spotify’s Summer Acoustic playlist has been on repeat quite a lot. What a fun way to listen to artists new to me, including The Paper Kites, Hollow Coves, and Fleet Foxes, as well as old favorites like Leon Bridges and Jose Gonzalez. Pretty chill when dialing back to a summer pace, dining on the screen porch or reading a book.

What I’m reading:

Bryan Stevenson’s Just Mercy. Founder of the Equal Justice Initiative, Stevenson tells of the racial injustice (and the war on the poor our judicial system perpetuates as well) that he discovered as a young graduate from Harvard Law School and his fight to address it. It is in turn heartbreaking, enraging, and inspiring. It is also about mercy and empathy and justice that reads like a novel. Brilliant.

What I’m watching:

Fauda. We watched season one of this Israeli thriller. It was much discussed in Israel because while it focuses on an ex-special agent who comes out of retirement to track down a Palestinian terrorist, it was willing to reveal the complexity, richness, and emotions of Palestinian lives. And the occasional brutality of the Israelis. Pretty controversial stuff in Israel. Lior Raz plays Doron, the main character, and is compelling and tough and often hard to like. He’s a mess. As is the world in which he has to operate. We really liked it, and also felt guilty because while it may have been brave in its treatment of Palestinians within the Israeli context, it falls back into some tired tropes and ultimately falls short on this front.

  Archive

June 11, 2018

What I’m listening to:

Like everyone else, I’m listening to Pusha T drop the mic on Drake. Okay, not really, but do I get some points for even knowing that? We all walk around with songs that immediately bring us back to a time or a place. Songs are time machines. We are coming up on Father’s Day. My own dad passed away on Father’s Day back in 1994 and I remembering dutifully getting through the wake and funeral and being strong throughout. Then, sitting alone in our kitchen, Don Henley’s The End of the Innocence came on and I lost it. When you lose a parent for the first time (most of us have two after all) we lose our innocence and in that passage, we suddenly feel adult in a new way (no matter how old we are), a longing for our own childhood, and a need to forgive and be forgiven. Listen to the lyrics and you’ll understand. As Wordsworth reminds us in In Memoriam, there are seasons to our grief and, all these years later, this song no longer hits me in the gut, but does transport me back with loving memories of my father. I’ll play it Father’s Day.

What I’m reading:

The Fifth Season, by N. K. Jemisin. I am not a reader of fantasy or sci-fi, though I understand they can be powerful vehicles for addressing the very real challenges of the world in which we actually live. I’m not sure I know of a more vivid and gripping illustration of that fact than N. K. Jemisin’s Hugo Award winning novel The Fifth Season, first in her Broken Earth trilogy. It is astounding. It is the fantasy parallel to The Underground Railroad, my favorite recent read, a depiction of subjugation, power, casual violence, and a broken world in which our hero(s) struggle, suffer mightily, and still, somehow, give us hope. It is a tour de force book. How can someone be this good a writer? The first 30 pages pained me (always with this genre, one must learn a new, constructed world, and all of its operating physics and systems of order), and then I could not put it down. I panicked as I neared the end, not wanting to finish the book, and quickly ordered the Obelisk Gate, the second novel in the trilogy, and I can tell you now that I’ll be spending some goodly portion of my weekend in Jemisin’s other world.

What I’m watching:

The NBA Finals and perhaps the best basketball player of this generation. I’ve come to deeply respect LeBron James as a person, a force for social good, and now as an extraordinary player at the peak of his powers. His superhuman play during the NBA playoffs now ranks with the all-time greats, Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, MJ, Kobe, and the demi-god that was Bill Russell. That his Cavs lost in a 4-game sweep is no surprise. It was a mediocre team being carried on the wide shoulders of James (and matched against one of the greatest teams ever, the Warriors, and the Harry Potter of basketball, Steph Curry) and, in some strange way, his greatness is amplified by the contrast with the rest of his team. It was a great run.

May 24, 2018

What I’m listening to:

I’ve always liked Alicia Keys and admired her social activism, but I am hooked on her last album Here. This feels like an album finally commensurate with her anger, activism, hope, and grit. More R&B and Hip Hop than is typical for her, I think this album moves into an echelon inhabited by a Marvin Gaye’s What’s Going On or Beyonce’s Formation. Social activism and outrage rarely make great novels, but they often fuel great popular music. Here is a terrific example.

What I’m reading:

Colson Whitehead’s Underground Railroad may be close to a flawless novel. Winner of the 2017 Pulitzer, it chronicles the lives of two runaway slaves, Cora and Caeser, as they try to escape the hell of plantation life in Georgia.  It is an often searing novel and Cora is one of the great heroes of American literature. I would make this mandatory reading in every high school in America, especially in light of the absurd revisionist narratives of “happy and well cared for” slaves. This is a genuinely great novel, one of the best I’ve read, the magical realism and conflating of time periods lifts it to another realm of social commentary, relevance, and a blazing indictment of America’s Original Sin, for which we remain unabsolved.

What I’m watching:

I thought I knew about The Pentagon Papers, but The Post, a real-life political thriller from Steven Spielberg taught me a lot, features some of our greatest actors, and is so timely given the assault on our democratic institutions and with a presidency out of control. It is a reminder that a free and fearless press is a powerful part of our democracy, always among the first targets of despots everywhere. The story revolves around the legendary Post owner and D.C. doyenne, Katharine Graham. I had the opportunity to see her son, Don Graham, right after he saw the film, and he raved about Meryl Streep’s portrayal of his mother. Liked it a lot more than I expected.

April 27, 2018

What I’m listening to:

I mentioned John Prine in a recent post and then on the heels of that mention, he has released a new album, The Tree of Forgiveness, his first new album in ten years. Prine is beloved by other singer songwriters and often praised by the inscrutable God that is Bob Dylan.  Indeed, Prine was frequently said to be the “next Bob Dylan” in the early part of his career, though he instead carved out his own respectable career and voice, if never with the dizzying success of Dylan. The new album reflects a man in his 70s, a cancer survivor, who reflects on life and its end, but with the good humor and empathy that are hallmarks of Prine’s music. “When I Get To Heaven” is a rollicking, fun vision of what comes next and a pure delight. A charming, warm, and often terrific album.

What I’m reading:

I recently read Min Jin Lee’s Pachinko, on many people’s Top Ten lists for last year and for good reason. It is sprawling, multi-generational, and based in the world of Japanese occupied Korea and then in the Korean immigrant’s world of Oaska, so our key characters become “tweeners,” accepted in neither world. It’s often unspeakably sad, and yet there is resiliency and love. There is also intimacy, despite the time and geographic span of the novel. It’s breathtakingly good and like all good novels, transporting.

What I’m watching:

I adore Guillermo del Toro’s 2006 film, Pan’s Labyrinth, and while I’m not sure his Shape of Water is better, it is a worthy follow up to the earlier masterpiece (and more of a commercial success). Lots of critics dislike the film, but I’m okay with a simple retelling of a Beauty and the Beast love story, as predictable as it might be. The acting is terrific, it is visually stunning, and there are layers of pain as well as social and political commentary (the setting is the US during the Cold War) and, no real spoiler here, the real monsters are humans, the military officer who sees over the captured aquatic creature. It is hauntingly beautiful and its depiction of hatred to those who are different or “other” is painfully resonant with the time in which we live. Put this on your “must see” list.

March 18, 2018

What I’m listening to:

Sitting on a plane for hours (and many more to go; geez, Australia is far away) is a great opportunity to listen to new music and to revisit old favorites. This time, it is Lucy Dacus and her album Historians, the new sophomore release from a 22-year old indie artist that writes with relatable, real-life lyrics. Just on a second listen and while she insists this isn’t a break up record (as we know, 50% of all great songs are break up songs), it is full of loss and pain. Worth the listen so far. For the way back machine, it’s John Prine and In Spite of Ourselves (that title track is one of the great love songs of all time), a collection of duets with some of his “favorite girl singers” as he once described them. I have a crush on Iris Dement (for a really righteously angry song try her Wasteland of the Free), but there is also EmmyLou Harris, the incomparable Dolores Keane, and Lucinda Williams. Very different albums, both wonderful.

What I’m reading:

Jane Mayer’s New Yorker piece on Christopher Steele presents little that is new, but she pulls it together in a terrific and coherent whole that is illuminating and troubling at the same time. Not only for what is happening, but for the complicity of the far right in trying to discredit that which should be setting off alarm bells everywhere. Bob Mueller may be the most important defender of the democracy at this time. A must read.

What I’m watching:

Homeland is killing it this season and is prescient, hauntingly so. Russian election interference, a Bannon-style hate radio demagogue, alienated and gun toting militia types, and a president out of control. It’s fabulous, even if it feels awfully close to the evening news. 

March 8, 2018

What I’m listening to:

We have a family challenge to compile our Top 100 songs. It is painful. Only 100? No more than three songs by one artist? Wait, why is M.I.A.’s “Paper Planes” on my list? Should it just be The Clash from whom she samples? Can I admit to guilty pleasure songs? Hey, it’s my list and I can put anything I want on it. So I’m listening to the list while I work and the song playing right now is Tom Petty’s “The Wild One, Forever,” a B-side single that was never a hit and that remains my favorite Petty song. Also, “Evangeline” by Los Lobos. It evokes a night many years ago, with friends at Pearl Street in Northampton, MA, when everyone danced well past 1AM in a hot, sweaty, packed club and the band was a revelation. Maybe the best music night of our lives and a reminder that one’s 100 Favorite Songs list is as much about what you were doing and where you were in your life when those songs were playing as it is about the music. It’s not a list. It’s a soundtrack for this journey.

What I’m reading:

Patricia Lockwood’s Priestdaddy was in the NY Times top ten books of 2017 list and it is easy to see why. Lockwood brings remarkable and often surprising imagery, metaphor, and language to her prose memoir and it actually threw me off at first. It then all became clear when someone told me she is a poet. The book is laugh aloud funny, which masks (or makes safer anyway) some pretty dark territory. Anyone who grew up Catholic, whether lapsed or not, will resonate with her story. She can’t resist a bawdy anecdote and her family provides some of the most memorable characters possible, especially her father, her sister, and her mother, who I came to adore. Best thing I’ve read in ages.

What I’m watching:

The Florida Project, a profoundly good movie on so many levels. Start with the central character, six-year old (at the time of the filming) Brooklynn Prince, who owns – I mean really owns – the screen. This is pure acting genius and at that age? Astounding. Almost as astounding is Bria Vinaite, who plays her mother. She was discovered on Instagram and had never acted before this role, which she did with just three weeks of acting lessons. She is utterly convincing and the tension between the child’s absolute wonder and joy in the world with her mother’s struggle to provide, to be a mother, is heartwarming and heartbreaking all at once. Willem Dafoe rightly received an Oscar nomination for his supporting role. This is a terrific movie.

February 12, 2018

What I’m listening to:

So, I have a lot of friends of age (I know you’re thinking 40s, but I just turned 60) who are frozen in whatever era of music they enjoyed in college or maybe even in their thirties. There are lots of times when I reach back into the catalog, since music is one of those really powerful and transporting senses that can take you through time (smell is the other one, though often underappreciated for that power). Hell, I just bought a turntable and now spending time in vintage vinyl shops. But I’m trying to take a lesson from Pat, who revels in new music and can as easily talk about North African rap music and the latest National album as Meet the Beatles, her first ever album. So, I’ve been listening to Kendrick Lamar’s Grammy winning Damn. While it may not be the first thing I’ll reach for on a winter night in Maine, by the fire, I was taken with it. It’s layered, political, and weirdly sensitive and misogynist at the same time, and it feels fresh and authentic and smart at the same time, with music that often pulled me from what I was doing. In short, everything music should do. I’m not a bit cooler for listening to Damn, but when I followed it with Steely Dan, I felt like I was listening to Lawrence Welk. A good sign, I think.

What I’m reading:

I am reading Walter Isaacson’s new biography of Leonardo da Vinci. I’m not usually a reader of biographies, but I’ve always been taken with Leonardo. Isaacson does not disappoint (does he ever?), and his subject is at once more human and accessible and more awe-inspiring in Isaacson’s capable hands. Gay, left-handed, vegetarian, incapable of finishing things, a wonderful conversationalist, kind, and perhaps the most relentlessly curious human being who has ever lived. Like his biographies of Steve Jobs and Albert Einstein, Isaacson’s project here is to show that genius lives at the intersection of science and art, of rationality and creativity. Highly recommend it.

What I’m watching:

We watched the This Is Us post-Super Bowl episode, the one where Jack finally buys the farm. I really want to hate this show. It is melodramatic and manipulative, with characters that mostly never change or grow, and it hooks me every damn time we watch it. The episode last Sunday was a tear jerker, a double whammy intended to render into a blubbering, tissue-crumbling pathetic mess anyone who has lost a parent or who is a parent. Sterling K. Brown, Ron Cephas Jones, the surprising Mandy Moore, and Milo Ventimiglia are hard not to love and last season’s episode that had only Brown and Cephas going to Memphis was the show at its best (they are by far the two best actors). Last week was the show at its best worst. In other words, I want to hate it, but I love it. If you haven’t seen it, don’t binge watch it. You’ll need therapy and insulin.

January 15, 2018

What I’m listening to:

Drive-By Truckers. Chris Stapleton has me on an unusual (for me) country theme and I discovered these guys to my great delight. They’ve been around, with some 11 albums, but the newest one is fascinating. It’s a deep dive into Southern alienation and the white working-class world often associated with our current president. I admire the willingness to lay bare, in kick ass rock songs, the complexities and pain at work among people we too quickly place into overly simple categories. These guys are brave, bold, and thoughtful as hell, while producing songs I didn’t expect to like, but that I keep playing. And they are coming to NH.

What I’m reading:

A textual analog to Drive-By Truckers by Chris Stapleton in many ways is Tony Horowitz’s 1998 Pulitzer Prize winning Confederates in the Attic. Ostensibly about the Civil War and the South’s ongoing attachment to it, it is prescient and speaks eloquently to the times in which we live (where every southern state but Virginia voted for President Trump). Often hilarious, it too surfaces complexities and nuance that escape a more recent, and widely acclaimed, book like Hillbilly Elegy. As a Civil War fan, it was also astonishing in many instances, especially when it blows apart long-held “truths” about the war, such as the degree to which Sherman burned down the south (he did not). Like D-B Truckers, Horowitz loves the South and the people he encounters, even as he grapples with its myths of victimhood and exceptionalism (and racism, which may be no more than the racism in the north, but of a different kind). Everyone should read this book and I’m embarrassed I’m so late to it.

What I’m watching:

David Letterman has a new Netflix show called “My Next Guest Needs No Introduction” and we watched the first episode, in which Letterman interviewed Barack Obama. It was extraordinary (if you don’t have Netflix, get it just to watch this show); not only because we were reminded of Obama’s smarts, grace, and humanity (and humor), but because we saw a side of Letterman we didn’t know existed. His personal reflections on Selma were raw and powerful, almost painful. He will do five more episodes with “extraordinary individuals” and if they are anything like the first, this might be the very best work of his career and one of the best things on television.

December 22, 2017

What I’m reading:

Just finished Sunjeev Sahota’s Year of the Runaways, a painful inside look at the plight of illegal Indian immigrant workers in Britain. It was shortlisted for 2015 Man Booker Prize and its transporting, often to a dark and painful universe, and it is impossible not to think about the American version of this story and the terrible way we treat the undocumented in our own country, especially now.

What I’m watching:

Season II of The Crown is even better than Season I. Elizabeth’s character is becoming more three-dimensional, the modern world is catching up with tradition-bound Britain, and Cold War politics offer more context and tension than we saw in Season I. Claire Foy, in her last season, is just terrific – one arched eye brow can send a message.

What I’m listening to:

A lot of Christmas music, but needing a break from the schmaltz, I’ve discovered Over the Rhine and their Christmas album, Snow Angels. God, these guys are good.

  November 14, 2017

What I’m watching:

Guiltily, I watch the Patriots play every weekend, often building my schedule and plans around seeing the game. Why the guilt? I don’t know how morally defensible is football anymore, as we now know the severe damage it does to the players. We can’t pretend it’s all okay anymore. Is this our version of late decadent Rome, watching mostly young Black men take a terrible toll on each other for our mere entertainment?

What I’m reading:

Recently finished J.G. Ballard’s 2000 novel Super-Cannes, a powerful depiction of a corporate-tech ex-pat community taken over by a kind of psychopathology, in which all social norms and responsibilities are surrendered to residents of the new world community. Kept thinking about Silicon Valley when reading it. Pretty dark, dystopian view of the modern world and centered around a mass killing, troublingly prescient.

What I’m listening to:

Was never really a Lorde fan, only knowing her catchy (and smarter than you might first guess) pop hit “Royals” from her debut album. But her new album, Melodrama, is terrific and it doesn’t feel quite right to call this “pop.” There is something way more substantial going on with Lorde and I can see why many critics put this album at the top of their Best in 2017 list. Count me in as a huge fan.

  November 3, 2017

What I’m reading: Just finished Celeste Ng’s Little Fires Everywhere, her breathtakingly good second novel. How is someone so young so wise? Her writing is near perfection and I read the book in two days, setting my alarm for 4:30AM so I could finish it before work.

What I’m watching: We just binge watched season two of Stranger Things and it was worth it just to watch Millie Bobbie Brown, the transcendent young actor who plays Eleven. The series is a delightful mash up of every great eighties horror genre you can imagine and while pretty dark, an absolute joy to watch.

What I’m listening to: I’m not a lover of country music (to say the least), but I love Chris Stapleton. His “The Last Thing I Needed, First Thing This Morning” is heartbreakingly good and reminds me of the old school country that played in my house as a kid. He has a new album and I can’t wait, but his From A Room: Volume 1 is on repeat for now.

  September 26, 2017

What I’m reading:

Just finished George Saunder’s Lincoln in the Bardo. It took me a while to accept its cadence and sheer weirdness, but loved it in the end. A painful meditation on loss and grief, and a genuinely beautiful exploration of the intersection of life and death, the difficulty of letting go of what was, good and bad, and what never came to be.

What I’m watching:

HBO’s The Deuce. Times Square and the beginning of the porn industry in the 1970s, the setting made me wonder if this was really something I’d want to see. But David Simon is the writer and I’d read a menu if he wrote it. It does not disappoint so far and there is nothing prurient about it.

What I’m listening to:

The National’s new album Sleep Well Beast. I love this band. The opening piano notes of the first song, “Nobody Else Will Be There,” seize me & I’m reminded that no one else in music today matches their arrangement & musicianship. I’m adding “Born to Beg,” “Slow Show,” “I Need My Girl,” and “Runaway” to my list of favorite love songs.

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The Littlest Giant

Development notes- (01/31/2018) The idea came this morning as I was just waking. About what's happened in the last few years to change my life. Having odd moments of simple profound thoughts about things. Having odd days too, like noticing I feel particularly tall for my stature. Soon following with a, "Wait, what? Nah, that's not right." Like little kids who say the darndest things and often surprise grown ups with their simple profound understanding. Well I felt tall today. As thoughts wander, about life and all the other "giants" in this world. So many strong, accomplished, wonderfully talented people. Where do I fit in? How do I find my place? How do I accomplish great things with what I've been given? The opening inspired by something my mom & Grandmother used to say to us when we were little. Whenever there was a thunderstorm they'd chime,"The giants are dropping their potatoes!" You know, so that we wouldn't be afraid of the sometimes unbelievably loud claps of thunder with the crazy storm season in Kansas. Somewhere in there was a vague memory of how my dad liked the story with the magic beans. In my mind distantly hear him say that line, like something from a long time ago... Here's an outline of the story so far.- Starts in modern time soothing her child about being bullied. Tells them a story on a scary stormy night...*Blending voices shifting to Jack.* -Jack now an old man telling the story to his grandchildren of how he once met a giant. -Society and setting- Arc de Triomphe aerial photo is the template for the giant community. The palace being at the foot of one of the mountains? So the queen's clothing makes sense? Dress in this society like the reverse of birds? The women are more intricately dressed because they are viewed with love, as something precious. Except for the king and queen that are arrayed equally. They have tops of mountains as their source of freshwater. Streams flow down into the community. It comes to them cold. So crisp cool drinking water. Warm water basins lined with copper are scattered throughout the city. Water heralds usher the water to the basins that send water warmed by the sun into a plumbing system for the citizens. (There may be easier ways but this will make an interesting visual element, that still makes sense.) It is also cold up around the mountains and great pillars. The boundaries of the city are capped by several mammoth cloud pillars. A relatively simple society. They have a planting season and harvest season. We come into the story at the beginning of their harvest season. Where we see some of Charle's issues emerge. The beginning/source of their resources tied to earth and humans? The giants used to help humans, but some event caused things to change. If there are ever great catastrophes they come down to help. Kind of like a sasquatch sighting. It's a thing of legend. What about the beans? Obviously there are beans and they are magical, but in this world ONLY for emergencies. Kept under guard. Being in the human world is forbidden. Earth 1900's. The industrial revolution. Wanted to have a positive spin on it. The reality of that time was heavy. Jack, one of our main characters is a newsboy. I would like to have young people selling newspapers and maybe delivering milk. Something encouraging productivity and the value of work. Making it a staple for Jack's father to tell Jack how proud he is throughout the story. Jack also has a little savings jar of his own from his paper boy job. The Xen invade to take over their city and resources. They are faster giving them the upper hand in combat. (The king is the most formidable. They have to team up to take him down.) The city is easily taken. They are peaceful. They've never faced anything like this before. The people are captive and afraid. Charle is the only one small enough to sneak out undetected. Her father supplies her with a map of earth to a secret weapon. With a stone sypher. (I wanted so badly to nod to The Goonies on this one. Man I love that movie.) Supplying her with the magic beans.When she gets to earth it's a dark stormy night. She meets jack and later his siblings/&friends? The weapon to defeat/contain? them is hidden in a mountain. They have the weapon from someone in their community that had come across these creatures long before. Characters are able to offer an exchange, also a bonding experience, of a piece of info to help the other think their way around the problem. Helping each other solve one another's struggle. Overall plot more so about jack making a friend and Charlie saving her people. At first they keep Charle a secret. Also encouraging being forthcoming and honest Jack tells his parents the truth. Trusting Jack and this group of children with responsibility to set out on this adventure on their own. Somehow it looks like the magic beans have all been destroyed and she'll be stuck. Then finds one in a sack or the folds of clothing, or a tiny overlooked pocket. Maybe Jack has it and debates on telling her, because he'll miss her. Once she leaves she doesn't know if she'll ever be able to come back. *End- Cut back to the current storyteller. The story is done they kiss their "goodnights". One of the little kids sneaks out of bed to peek at the thunder out the window and sees a shadow of a giant in the clouds. -Fin- -I've started character sketches and some environments partially finished. Will post as I finish each piece. Here are all of the rest of my random thoughts and notes for this property.- Was thinking about making this all modern, but one of the important parts is the "visualization". Kids using their imagination. That spark of a fantasy story. Main characher- Charlemagne. Charle for short. (I thought it'd be funny to name her after the font that I used for the title. Turned out to be a pretty great idea.  ) Look- A young girl of spanish looking ethnicity. (More closely modeled after a uniquely beautiful waitress that recently took care of us at a local mexican restaurant. She may have also been cuban, puerto rican, or some descendant of South America.) Medium complexion, green hazel with brown speckles, curly wavy medium length hair. Main costume throughout the story, first thought, color combo of Superman and the flag of Mexico. A viking-esque community because they're all giants? ...like classic Disney has portrayed? Maybe, try to find more inspiration in unlikely places... *Decided on making something unique by blending inspiration from everywhere. *Possible conflicts- 1)Taking from the idea of "Storm Giants" that was already on the table. Seeing the concept art made me think of Hercules. I could understand how that might not work since it was already done. With my interest in other cultures and a little looking the name Xenarthra/Xenarthan sounded interesting shortened to Xen. Xen, have become strangers or alien to their own kind (Nef/Neph/Nephalos= Cloud people) and taken on traits of Raiju. Feeling the need to keep it simple and light they can be called Xen, with only the history of the city's brief explanation. Under the premise that mystery makes things more interesting. (Jack/Jackson, normal look or slender and goofy? Playing on they share awkwardness and being out of place. Both about the same age 14-15.) (their goodbye can be a very "face burying" type of hug? As opposed to the usual prince princess kiss stuff? Maybe a kiss on the cheek. We'll see.) (Catchphrase/Marketing?) Awkward and unaware of her potential. Always a little too small, not quite knowing what to do... Soon she would find the gift of the strength of her heart and the ingenuity to change her world. Even though she was small...she will find out... she is indeed... a giant. *The opening rif from "Little Wonders" for ads. It's hopeful and friendly. Maybe a cover by an artist that has been popular with kids or younger people recently. (Maybe justin Beibs?) Other trailer music- Marcus Warner- Africa? Side notes: "...To change her world." There are different applications and understandings of what someone's "world" is; It could be their mind, their feelings, their house/home, their country, or making an impact internationally with inventions designs and concepts to further society and for the greater good of helping humanity. Casting notes- Jack- Zac Efron or Sean Astin, King of the Neph- Dave Bautista, Charle- (I like Alessia Cara for the musical parts. Reference for that is her performance of "How Far I'll Go", from Moana. Otherwise not sure yet.) For more draw and power behind it, maybe Glen Keane would be willing to lend his hand to this project? For the sake of helping these people.

I woke up intending to write this as a book. Thoughts started to trickle in about the cancelled Disney project "Gigantic". Even though it was originally intended to be a different product, it could serve a good purpose as an elevator pitch to Disney. They cancelled the project. This different take may be just what they need to make it work. I've also had trouble getting things organised for Heart it. There is a great need for help in Puerto Rico. A corporation like Disney would be able to draw the profit to donate some of the proceeds and possibly continue helping with a percentage of dvds, digital downloads, and merchandise.

I wanted to be able to develop it, for it to be more finished. I'm going to continue working on as many designs as I can giving every idea I've had for this project to date. The only reason I could see it as okay to give the base that I have now is time. Every week, every day, is a day longer they're without power and necessities. Started immediately. With fundraising during the making of. I have selected the copyright so not just anyone can take it. I'd like to gift this to the Walt Disney corporation for the intent and purpose of helping Puerto Rico. I would also like to be considered for future employment. -A project dedicated to my Heavenly Father- Thank You for enabling me to be a giant in spirit and blessing me with the ability to accomplish the impossible.-