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#just edited the word count lol
soft-girl-musings · 2 months
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Stranger Danger
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Steven Grant x Fem!Reader
cross-posted to ao3
MK Spring Bingo entry #5
tags: reader is being stalked & responds in a way the author (a woman) has been taught to, emotional protector steven grant to the rescue, no use of y/n
wc: 1,138
fic summary: There's safety in numbers, do you want mine? (too soon?)
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“Oops, careful!”
Steven drops the last of his veggie wrap as a pair of kids rush past the bench he’d been hunched over. As he picks up the debris, he sees where one of them dropped their hat. He picks it up and half-jogs after them to return it.
“Gotta stay aware of our surroundings, yeah? Don’t want to lose our valuables.” The kid rolls their eyes but thanks him before running off to catch up with their friend.
“Oh my gosh, hi!”
Steven turns around to find you walking swiftly toward him, your smile too wide and tone too familiar.
He’s never seen you before.
“... hello,” he answers cautiously, taking one step back but failing to put much distance between the two of you. You practically cling to his side when you approach, takeaway cup and phone in hand.
“Sorry I’m late, but you are terrible at giving directions, mister.” Taking his arm, you begin to walk away from where you’d appeared.
This wouldn’t be the first time he’s forgotten conversations or plans. But as he racks his brain for something, anything tied to you in his memory, Steven notices the panic in your eyes and the slight waver in your voice.
Your hands shake a bit as you unlock your phone, passing your cup to him. He takes it, still bewildered but obedient. “I swear, the cafe never spells your name right. Let me make a note for next time.” You type swiftly, showing him the screen.
being followed, please pretend you're my boyfriend
Steven doesn’t know you.
But he nods, grasping your arm closer with his free hand and gives his most convincing grin. “Steven with a ‘V’, love.”
Relief instantly washes over your features and you relax a little. “Right. I’ll remember that… Steven.”
His smile grows before he remembers why you're holding onto him. “Do you want to sit down? Or go somewhere else, maybe I could call someone–”
“N-no, it’s fine. Let’s just sit. In plain sight,” you half-whisper. Steven nods, ushering you back to the bench in the middle of the busy square. When you sit, you don't let go of his arm.
Instead, you type into your phone as you speak. “Lovely weather we’re having, isn’t it?” Steven glaces at your notes app again.
do you see a man in a black jacket?
Steven scans the area, careful not to look too suspicious. Unlike the person he’s sure you’re referring to: a man in dark clothes, hands shoved into his pockets and rigid as he looks around with increasing urgency. His prominent frown grows when he sees Steven next to you.
“Yeah,” Steven says to both your questions. He looks away from the menacing figure, but sets your drink down and wraps his arm around you. He's glad to feel you settle into his side, still shaking but catching your breath.
“I take it you don’t know Mr. Black Jacket?”
“No, I do. Sort of. He’s a regular customer of mine,” you sigh. “One who doesn’t know how to take ‘no’ for an answer.”
“Ah.” Steven keeps the guy in his periphery, splitting his focus between him and you. “Stalker, then?”
You freeze up at the term. “Yeah… he’s been pretty relentless.” 
You meet his eyes, which are swiftly filling with concern. “Thanks again for… this. I usually find a mom or another woman to walk with me until he leaves, but I saw you with those kids and just… panicked, I guess.”
“S’not a problem, love.” Steven knocks your foot with his, drawing a small smile from you. “Glad to help you feel safe.”
You laugh a little. You let your gaze drift over to the man in black, an uneasy pit growing in your stomach when you briefly make eye contact.
“He usually goes away after a while. I've told the police, but they can't do anything unless he… you know.” Your brow furrows as your grip loosens. “I don't mean to take over your afternoon, but would you mind waiting with me?”
In that moment, you could have asked Steven for the moon and he'd find a way to lasso it down for you. 
He squeezes your hand. “‘Course I can. Lovely day with lovely company, quite the ideal afternoon in my books.” 
Steven dives right into talking about anything and everything that comes to mind– which, as you learn, is a lot. Normally he'd hit a wall after a few minutes, either because he'd realized he had talked himself in circles, or his less-than-captive audience was visibly zoned out. But you hang on his every word, grateful to be arm in arm with a stranger describing the supposed viscosity of ancient Egyptian embalming oil. It's a welcome distraction. 
So distracting, in fact, that after an hour you realize the crowd has thinned around you. With Mr. Black Jacket nowhere in sight.
“I think he's gone,” you sigh with relief. Steven stands when you do, handing your things back.
“Patience won out in the end,” he beams. You see a brief look of panic cross his features.
“He doesn't know where you live, does he? Do you need an escort?” Steven's already taken a ludicrously long lunch break, but the inevitable lecture from Donna would be worth it if it meant ensuring your safety.
You shake your head. “I've been careful.” Extending your hand, you smile. “It was nice to meet you, Steven with a ‘V’.”
“Likewise, love.” He shakes your hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Another look crosses his face before he continues.
“Do you want my mobile number?” His words come out too fast; if you hadn't spent the past hour listening to him, you might have missed what he said. “Just in case you need someone to wait with you again, or keep an eye out. Would that be alright?” He shakes his head, stepping back. “'Matter of fact, forget I said anything, don't want you to think you've traded one creep for another–”
“Sure.”
Your simple answer stops him in his tracks. “Oh, you don’t have to–”
“No, it’s fine. Really. When you offered, it felt nice to know someone could be in my corner on this side of town.”
You take out a scrap of paper and a pen from your bag. “How about this: you write it down, and I’ll add your contact if I ever need my knight in shining armor again.”
Steven concedes, pen and paper in hand as he scribbles his number down (then asks for a new paper in case the first was too illegible).
When you leave, he watches until you turn the corner. He goes the opposite direction, back to the museum. Part of him hopes you’ll never have to reach out, for your own sake. The rest of him hopes you do anyway.
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A/N: oh steven, the man that you are. a couple more bingo prompts will be focused on this dude, which is excellent practice for some exciting projects down the line...
as always, ty for reading <3
event tags: @moonknight-events @spacecowboyhotch @juneknight
addtl tags: @mrs-lockley @lunar-ghoulie @shadystarlightgentlemen @casa-boiardi @nerdieforpedro (lmk if you'd like to be added to/removed from this wee tag list)
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wundrousarts · 1 month
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For any Nevermoor fans that've ever been interested in getting their hands on the UK hardcover editions of the series, with the wonderful cover designs..... I think they might be out of print (which. makes sense with the gold foil) so. goodluck and godspeed for finding them secondhand, because it was surprisingly hard to do online.
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mermaidsirennikita · 3 months
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The dichotomy between what's popular according to booktok (from what I've see) from the most blandest books imaginable to the most taboo erotica you can think of is kinda wild.
I think that what gets me with taboo books recommended by BookTok is that they're usually very poorly written. And if the writing is poor, you're not really getting the full "shock" value.
Like, when you read Sierra Simone's Thornchapel series, the scenes read as really intense because Sierra is an excellent writer. In contrast, a book like Hooked (that one dark romance~ modern Captain Hook book, a concept I was very open to and wanted to like, for the record) is very badly written. There's taboo content and a horrible hero, but like... It just reads juvenile.
I'm about 65% through A Kiss at Midnight by Anne Stuart, a historical romance that is QUITE dark, but the writing is frankly fabulous. Because Stuart can write, the darkness (which is not like, the corny "oh he's so bad he's in a motorcycle gang" torture sequence stuff--it's TRULY intense and pretty accurate for the era) is balanced out by emotional progression and honestly? A very dry, at times dark humor. If a lesser writer handled this plotline, it would just seem like shock factor after shock factor layered on just to get people talking. Very 2edgy4me.
And I'm gonna be really real here. Some fanfic authors are made to transition to actual published books. I think Ali Hazelwood writes a really solid contemporary romance. I really enjoyed You, Again by Kate Goldbeck, and that's based on a fic I actually read. The Hurricane Wars works as a book. (And mind you, let's not take away from the work the editors and authors did to rework fics into actual books here.)
Some fic authors are meant to stay fic authors and to excel at that. I personally think that one of the reasons why we have so many blaaand romance novels right now is that a) some of them are written by less-equipped fic authors trying to write real books and b) some of the authors have read less actual books than they have fics.
There are some tensely plotted, exciting fics out there. But personally? I think the standout nature of those fics--fics like Manacled, which... I think.... is not.... for me. However, bland it is not lol--makes people think that is the NORM for fic, when it's not. The norm for fic, and what I think a lot of more casual fic consumers and people who read more fic than they do books (compared to a lot of romance readers who turn to fic to supplement their reading habits) is very plotless slice of life stuff.
And that's not meant to be derogatory. It works, especially when you're writing about characters a lot of people know and love and are PROGRAMMED to know and love. Even if it's AU and they're basically other people, if you're writing a modern, sedate romcom about Katniss and Peeta and she mentions going to archery classes and Peeta being a baker, people are like aawwwww and they enjoy the nicely written scenes that are just people being people.
That.... ultimately creates a bland story when you're writing a book about original characters nobody has a preexisting investment in.
#romance novel blogging#lol idk sometimes i feel like fic gets this sweeping pass bc we're not supposed to critique the work#and not critiquing the work is fine i'm not here to tell y'all a thing someone is doing for free is bad when they don't want feedback#BUT... i think it's fair to critique the way fic has been uplifted and held on this pedestal compared to books#and EQUATED to books#which is my biggest complaint always#it's not better or worse it's different and if you think you can transition from fics to books#without reworking your products and your style#and frankly often putting a lot more work in#... idk man that's just so low effort and i personally think that's one reason why we see subpar books where nothing happens#they've always existed some people just do that lol but some of it i read and i'm like#this is like someone wrote a review 200k word fic about absolutely nothing changed the names and bit publish#(and another thing--one way you CAN tell there is a different type of work being done with fic is the wordcount dif#the standard for say a historical romance#which is often given more room traditionally in terms of word count than a contemporary romance#is 100k words#contemporaries often have landed between 80k-100k#then you have these 150k contemporaries and they're bloated as hell#but that wordcount is not unusual for fics#and fics are nORMALLY if edited at all being edited by amateur beta readers who do not professionally edit work#and often only look for typos or scene/character issues versus things like overarching plot and structural weakness#ADDITIONALLY! when you read a fic you're usually reading someone writing in real time#whereas if you are reading a well-done actual book you're reading someone's like... billionth draft that's been worked over by#multiple eyes. and i include indie in this bc the really good indie books have usually been professionally edited#on top of critique partners proofers etc)#ANYWAY. MY RANT.
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mattodore · 5 months
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probably the most important tests i've taken for mattodore 🧑‍💻
#theo's on the left and matthias is on the right btw... though i think you can tell that just based on the percentage bars 😭#matthias fr just likes everything. love my little hedonist <333#river dipping#theodore doe#matthias evanoff#echthroi#oc extras#uh.....#nsft#...??? idk they're words on a screen but just in case#the 41% non-monogamist vs. 81%... lol#idk if i mentioned this before but while mattodore are monogamist they do still have sex with other people together#but bc of how jealous theo is the threesomes they have have a general no-touch rule wrt matthias#like he's entirely off limits to their third. theo is very strict abt this too... he'll be immediately taken out of a scene#if a hand even grazes matthias's skin... which is funny considering they mostly have threesomes with women anyway bc of his jealousy#and yet he still reacts poorly. like theo knows matthias is gay it's just that he's jealous in a completely irrational way#matthias likes it tho <3 it pleases him like nothing else to watch theo snap at someone not to touch him. like he's rock solid every time 🤷#guy whose jealousy meter is always at zero vs. guy whose jealous meter is always at a hundred... incredible dynamic imo#anyway......... i edited two other screenshots too but they're just for me <3 and i think i'm getting tired now#so i'm going to try to sleep. i'm counting on this jerma stream to keep my brain busy until i pass out.#if that doesn't work then i'll be scooping out my brain w/ a spoon as an alternative
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orcelito · 6 months
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Ok though its actually kinda nice to see some of my earliest rps... 15 year old me just having fun 🥺🥺🥺
Might go digging more later. Don't rly feel like getting That into it tonight lol
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kingsofeverything · 6 months
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10177
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i know it’s weird cuz i worked on multiple projects, but woooooo hit that 50k mark with 50 minutes to spare 😂
another year, another nanowrimo. if you participated this year, whether or not you hit 50k, i offer a crisp HIGH FIVE ✋ see you all at camp next year <3
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nny11writes · 2 years
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My “favorite” thing about the bloodborne AU is each time I get a burst of excitement and inspiration for it, the very first thing I have to do is scrap tens of thousands of words of written work because it’s cluttering the story.
I’m not deleting them, but good god each time I look at this monster I realize a huge problem is I’m doing the equivalent of trying to explain all the backstory and lore in the fic itself. Which, like, most of my worldbuilding has been more for me than my readers. For internal guidelines and rules to follow, but they would detract from the story if left in.
I am just not used to doing this kind of in depth world building, so I have to stop come up with explanations and background to help me chart out the plot, and then painfully realize that there is no way for me to include some of these things at all.
I have a hole document just for Etherian Customs and Practices, a deep dive breakdown on the main types of blood (one of which I don’t think even makes a named on page appearance), major institutions, political historys and alliances, important items to the story, and a timeline that stretches over the 72 years the broader fic takes place during.
And today I realized I need to focus in on one character’s story if I ever hope to finish this.
I’m glad I’m making it better! Just! Would be cool to write something that will actually be in the fic. :)
#I think Catra farming blood vials will make it#and there's a few thousand words that might work out with some major tweaks/edits#me: I don't want to write a novel because of all the intensive behind the scenes work!#also me: okay but what if I had to piece together bloodborne's many theories on lore into a cohesive thing-#and then have to completely re-write it to be a proper fusion story and then re-write that to be a workable story and-#re-write that to be both readable and enjoyable#me feeling a sense of dread overtaking me: that would be wild wouldn't it....#anyhow finally figured out that since Catra's story is the one I'm most interested in it's the one I should write#even though she doesn't have as many overarching story beats as Adora or Glimmer#All the major turning point in the AU happen because of Catra by her choice or existence#hurray for writing about cycles and choices and fate#this is also the most not spop fic to be a spop fic#what if I took everything I love from this franchise and invert it to fit the spiritual antithesis to it?#purposefully trying to not break any characterizations but having those characters be put into this new world so unlike their own#ugh#complaining about writing#just needed to vent a little lol#super annoying to want to write only to open the folder and see all the docs and immediately feel overwhelmed#been trying to put new ideas in their own docs just to get things moving and on paper#it will all count in the end and make the story richer and better but fuck damn dude let me live
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catrillion · 1 year
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Every time I meet a milestone with Automata I decide that it needs a little more work before the "first look" is done. Originally my goal was for it to be the first five chapters, And now here I am writing chapter 13 going "okay but they need a little bit more to truly get a sense of the story, let's make it 15 chapters"
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cerealmonster15 · 1 year
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aw man LOL
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just out of curiosity I saved all of my worldbuilding slideshows as plain text then copied the text into a text editor that actually has a word count function, and it was too long to even put in one document without getting an error gfhvhvh... total is 323,390, and this doesn’t count the additional ones I’m not done with yet but am waiting on... these are just the like 5 slideshows I’m working on turning into videos... e v i l 
#NO WONDER IT TAKES me so long to film edit and record all of my reading these powerpoints.. I'm like.. basically making an audio book of#novel length text#actually looking it up a lot of novels are like 80.000 - 150.000 words so this is like.. maybe 2-3 novels#read audibly then edited in video and so on and do forth#*so forth#Which like . I know this. I'm aware of this. that like.... I have typed a lot of text about my world and stuff like that#but just knowing in your head that its a lot vs. seeing actual numbers is like .. oughh#especially knowing that it's all stuff to read out loud or whatever and make into videos.#If I counted all the other random stuff like documents on my computer or whaterver that I'm not actually using in anything at this point...#anyway still not making much progress on the slideshow reading videos at the moment since I've been feeling sick still and#Having Problems as always unfortunately. but it's something I still really really want to get done near the beginning of the year#at least so its not an everlooming burden task of like.. insurmountable purportions#I just have to chip away at recording bit by bit lol.#on top of all the other things. I still have costumes I want to do and etc. T o T#I wish health problems didn't throw off my productivity so much but.. alas.. my body cannot cope with pain signals and stuff well#even a minor problem sends it into Uh Oh mode and then I can't focus on anything else. I am.. trying.. though aaaaa#slowly working through my 'to get done before 2023' todo list . even though it's already nearly february lol#maybe I'll finish the list by march hjbhj ***#Being usually about 2 months behind on my goals sounds about right.
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cuddlytogas · 1 year
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entering my bitch era (trying to get more into twitter fandom and finding my tl flooded with people talking about A Certain Popular AU Fic that is, frankly, mostly just fine, and being overwhelmed with some of the pettiest little jealous rages you ever did see)
#pointless post is pointless#like damn at least [other popular au fic] is extremely fucking good#where's MY fandom-within-a-fandom?? where's MY pages and pages of fanart??#plus i'm so sick of smau's since joining twitter it's going to drive me crazy#everyone and their god damn dog has about four on the go what the shit#not that the format /can't/ be used well but so many of them are boring and badly written#and still have big followings because - ???????#because i have no idea why#also reading fic on twitter is a nightmare and i don't know why anyone would prefer it over ao3#broken threads and the inability to edit and jfc#when you COULD have centralised tags and word counts and chapter breaks and edits#is it just because it's suited to mobile format????? what IS it about these things that seems to have captured everyone so much??#UUUGGGHHHHHHHH#please no one take this as an attack i am fully aware i'm being a mean and jealous little killjoy lol#maybe i really do just have an overinflated sense of my own talent lmao#edit: OH AND OF COURSE on twt you need to ADD ALT TEXT TO IMAGES THAT ARE NOTHING BUT SCREENSHOTTED PROSE#because the basic premise of a smau is actually really fucking difficult to execute#(a story told primarily through the medium of images text messages and social media exchanges)#so most of them resort to PRIMARILY using prose interspersed with flavour images#in which case WHY would you post it on TWITTER#the defining feature of which is A VERY SMALL CHARACTER LIMIT
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crimsonblackrose · 1 year
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I made my first mood board (ever) for the secret santa, and it reads like a shitpost and I love it. 😂
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years
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...
#lmao nothing makes me feel more dyslexia than doing field work#i cannot do math in my head#i cannot process instruction. i cannot communicate literally anything. my communication skills r held together with string lol#my language skills lol. im constantly stumbling over words and forgetting words i need#whats the word...? how do u say it...? must be some of my most used phrases. my brain just works on a delay lol#me trying to learn german: well i can vaguely remember the shape of this word but not the actual spelling and also i cant remember how to#pronounce it. its so funny. my brain cannot read sounds into existence. i read aloud in English like an elementary schooler#also if u say the word out loud to me i will instantly forget it. lmao the effort it takes to get info into my brain#i sent off my personal statement for edits btw. which is terrifying bc its like my heart is bleeding thru my ribs and i pressed a page to#my chest. that is my personal statement. overindulgent and rambling. so the cuts will probably be brutal but thats fine#im not so sensitive abt the editing so much as im sensitive abt how i structured it. like did i do it wrong? should it have been clinical?#that seems so boring to me. idk we'll see what he thinks. i still think theres no way i get the scholarship but whatever. he's putting the#effort into working with me so i must show some potential. but also i cant find anything on how to format the statment from the department#and im annoyed at the uk grading system bc technically i have a 2:1 in my undergrad but literally if i round up by 0.01 on the us system id#have a 1st. and like not to diss the uk uni system but the way they grade is bullshit and also the us system is like brutal so i feel like#my grade should count for more lmao. im just bitter and worried i wont get in. bc the project would b so so so perfect#ugh. whatever. one step at a time. now onto the next thing. do i write or draw...?#unrelated
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indecisivemuch · 4 months
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Look at me
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Pairing: Luke Castellan x Reader
Summary: Being oblivious to Luke’s feelings, you tried to get over him by getting a boyfriend, who just does not know how to treat you right. Inspired by the song ‘Boyfriend’ by Dove Cameron ~ “I could be a better boyfriend than him.” (jealous luke, friends-to-lovers, fluff, angst, pining, happy ending.)
Warning: Just the boyfriend being an asshole and unwanted physical touch for a split second, but nothing serious. Sorry if your name is Cole. Violence (physical fighting)
Note: I’m sorry if there are a lot of errors, I haven’t had the chance to edit this thoroughly so if it feels like a train wreck, then I'm sorry. I just needed to write this out, get it out there, so I can go back to revising for my exams in peace lol, cause this plot/idea has been at the back of my head, I could not stop thinking about it or study properly. Lowkey hated how this one turned out, but whoops.
Word count: 4.8k
“People say that eyes are the windows to one's soul,” you once told him. You two have been best friends for a very long time: five years of being attached to the hip. Yet, you were completely oblivious to the way he looked at you. Even everybody at camp noticed and thought it was bound to happen. They were so sure that Luke and you would end up together. So imagine everybody’s surprise when something else occurred.
It happened right in front of Luke: Cole - a boy from Cabin 5 and son of Ares - asked you out, and you said yes.
It has been two months since that day. All Luke could do was sulk as he watched his best friend slip away. Of course, you still tried to spend as much time as possible with him. But even then, things have changed. There were no more of those content silences between the two of you. There were no more carefree laughs that made Luke feel like you two were the only ones that existed in this place. He used to walk you back to your cabin every night, hugging you good night or kissing your forehead close to your hairline if he felt brave enough. Moments like those convinced him you two would be like that forever. But his solace was taken in a split second. Now, you were so near, yet so out of reach. 
It didn’t help that he saw you every day, like right now, as you sat in the middle of a gathering hosted by your cabin. Gods, even the wind seems to be in love with you, judging by the way it was blowing through your hair as if it was trying to twirl itself around those lovely locks that Luke himself used to always tug behind your ears. The sight of you always bathed him in this warm feeling, like the morning sun. Hence his nickname for you: sunshine. 
Then his brown eyes landed on the figure next to you, and they hardened. He has witnessed it all: Cole’s backhanded compliments, ignoring you on your birthday, leaving you alone to talk to his friends, occasionally flirting back with girls who batted an eyelash at him, and then blatantly telling you that you were overthinking it. Luke knew he could treat you so much better. 
You were sitting with your boyfriend and his group of friends, who often gave you weird looks or snickers. Gods, if it was him you were with, he’d never make you feel excluded. He would have his arms around you and defend you if his friends ever made snarky remarks. Not that that would ever happen anyway; you were well-loved at camp, and all his friends loved you. But he would treat you well, nevertheless, not like that dumbass sitting next to you.
One of your favorite songs started playing, and Luke watched as you genuinely smiled for once tonight. You touched your boyfriend’s arm, muttering something to him. Luke knew exactly what you were saying to Cole because you and Luke used to do this together. Except, you never had to ask Luke. 
Whenever your favorite tunes were on, Luke would immediately pull you out of your seat and dance with you, laughing as if nothing mattered at all. Nights like those, he liked to imagine that the stars above envied them and what the two of you had. Now? He felt like one of them, watching from the outside. 
Luke’s jaw clenched as he saw Cole shrugging off your hand on his arm. Gods, Luke felt like that idiot was taking you for granted, and his blood boiled. Before Cole, Luke used to always orchestrated some excuse to have you touch him - getting injured on purpose sometimes just to watch you frantically panic over his wounds and take care of him, volunteering to help you out with swords training just to touch your hand and pretend to adjust the way you were holding it, hugging you every time he greeted you and so on.
For a second, your mask slipped, and you had that look on your face, like something had left you emotionally wounded. It was the kind of look Luke would kill to never see again, and oh, the things he would do to get rid of Cole. Luke had to wrestle with the thought of marching up to Cole and beating him to a pulp. However, he did stand up to approach you.
You felt a hand touch your shoulder. When you peered at the person standing, your eyes immediately glimmered as they caught Luke’s. However, something foreign was gleaming in his eyes. The Hermes boy has always looked at you sweetly. But the way he was looking at you right now was filled with something much more intense - borderline fervent, like an obsession. 
Cole finally glanced over at you for the first time the entire night. Unlike you, he instantly recognized the look in Luke’s eyes: hunger and longing. It was clear as day to everybody but you.
Luke extended his hand out for you to take and you understood right away. For the first time in two months, your hand touched his. Luke’s chest sunk and his breathing lost its usual rhythm for a second as your skin made contact with his. The Hermes boy finally looked over to Cole, and the Ares boy saw an immediate shift in his eyes. Now, they were filled with animosity and - the most obvious of all - heated jealousy. 
Luke led you away from Cole and started twirling you around. You let out a laugh - the kind that was infectious and has always brought a smile to Luke’s lips. You both sang along to the lyrics. For once, your relationship felt restored, just like the good old days. Was it wrong that this was the happiest you have felt since you got together with Cole? You shrugged away the thought as the song slowly ended. Luke settled with both hands on your waist while yours were around his neck. Usually, you would put your head on his chest as you both slightly swayed around. But now that you were in a relationship, you kept a bit of distance between the two of you. You gaze up at Luke, who was already staring at you sweetly. The moment was perfect. Gods, you almost wished to stay in it forever.
Meanwhile, Luke hoped he could convey his thoughts through his eyes - the unspoken words he wished he had told you sooner. Could you not see the infatuation coursing through his veins whenever he was with you? Could you not see that you got him at your beck and call? 
The look you gave him almost convinced him that you heard his thoughts. You leaned your head on his chest, caught off-guard by the speed of his heartbeat as it soothed you along with the music in the background. Feeling a heated look over his way, Luke glanced around and locked eyes with your boyfriend. Cole narrowed his eyes while Luke gave Cole a look of resentment and immense loathing. 
Gods, he could be a much better boyfriend than Cole.
“Hey, man,” when you heard your boyfriend’s voice, you lifted your head from Luke’s chest and withdrew your hands around his neck. “I’ll take over from here,” Cole practically pulled you away from Luke and started swaying with you. Instead of feeling happy that Cole finally danced with you after two months of dating, you felt wrong. Cole's hands were on your waist, but they felt sluggish like his heart was not in it at all. Your ear was against Cole’s chest, so you caught the sound of his heartbeat. It sounded…too calm, almost cold and shallow, causing you to twist your lips into a frown.
You glanced up at your boyfriend but saw him staring behind you instead. So you glanced back and caught a glimpse of Luke before getting pulled around by Cole, who roughly yanked your face towards him. He kissed you almost aggressively. There was something cynical and bitter about the way he was kissing you. 
Cole opened his eyes and conceitedly made eye contact with Luke. The Hermes boy glared at the sight of Cole handling you so roughly, claiming your lips so smugly. If it was him, he would be kissing you for you; he would be kissing you to show you how much he worshiped you and the ground you walk on, not to prove an empty point.
You finally managed to pull away when Cole let go of your chin. “All right, we’re done for the night, don’t you think?” your boyfriend muttered, quickly leaving you to return to his friends as if nothing had happened. Despite feeling slightly aggravated at Cole, you hated that you couldn't care less of his words at that moment, and the first thing you did was look in the direction Luke had been before. 
Yet, he was not there anymore.
~~~
Your cabin was not on the same side as Luke’s cabin for this match of capture the flag. You were fighting off some people who were on the blue team. Years of training with Luke paid off because you managed to point your sword at the person’s neck and grinned when they put their hands up in surrender. You continued perusing through the area, trying to regroup with your team or take down another blue team member. However, you almost tripped as you witnessed Cole on the ground with Luke on top of him, repeatedly punching his face..
“Luke!” you called out, watching as Luke’s action faltered, and his eyes darted around frantically around like a lost wild animal. However, Cole took advantage of Luke’s momentary distraction to land a hit on Luke’s face. The Ares boy got off the ground as Luke stumbled and went for another punch. However, Luke dodged it effortlessly and rammed Cole against a tree instead.
“Hey, knock it off,” you yelled, standing between the boys to stop their flight. Luke immediately backed off, afraid he would accidentally hurt you if he didn’t. But Cole, in the middle of his blind rage, still swung for Luke and ended up striking you across the face instead. Right when that happened, Luke pushed Cole again and rushed to your side to assess your injury. At that very moment, Chiron approached the scene with one of Cole’s friends next to him, who promptly told the man:
“It was him. Luke initiated the fight.” 
~~~
Luke wished for somebody to put him out of this misery as he stared at you from afar helplessly. He was so dotted that it hurt. Somebody must have answered his prayers because your eyes met his from across the field. There was a bit of sadness behind them, perhaps regret from how things ended yesterday. You whispered something to your boyfriend, but Cole did not even spare you a glance and waved his hand as if dismissing you from the discussion. Luke’s hand once again curled into a fist. He bit the inside of his cheek from the pain induced by his injury. The Hermes cabin counselor felt no bit of guilt in his body about his physical altercation with Cole. He felt smug at the sight of Cole with one black eye, busted lip, swollen cheek and a body sporting way more bruises than him. 
You deserved better. 
“Hey, stranger,” you greeted, sitting beside Luke. Almost immediately, he hooked one finger under your chin, tilting your head lightly as if he was afraid he might break you. The boy scanned over your injury, sighing at the sight of purple forming under your skin, indicating an emerging bruise. Even so, under the moonlight, you still looked heavenly to him.
“Devon said you initiated the fight. Is that true, Luke?” Luke frowned at the mention of Cole’s friend. Great, now he knew another idiot’s name. Meanwhile, you have asked this because you knew him. There was no way the boy you knew would lose control like this and swing his hands first. 
“No, but what’s the point of telling Chiron that? It’s two against one,” he breathed out.
“Luke, you’re literally the friendliest and nicest counselor here. Of course, he would believe you,” you reasoned. You sighed disappointingly as Luke only shook his head in response as if asking you to drop it.
Now, you two sat in silence. It felt the same as the comforting ones you have had with him before - the ones that made you feel like you were at home in front of your fireplace, curled up with a book. 
“Why are you with him?” and with that, the comfort evaporated as the air thickened. You and Luke rarely argued or even disagreed, so it felt like an unfamiliar territory every time it felt relatively tense between you two. 
“I know you, which is why I know that you’re absolutely miserable with him, so I don’t understand why you’re still with Cole,” Luke commented, though his voice was quiet because he was considerate of drawing this type of attention to you. He had seen it before - Cole causing public altercations and storming off and you running after him with tears emerging from your eyes. He did not want to put you in the same position.
“Y/N, please, as your best friend…” there it was again, the word that used to make you smile brightly, was now the same one that brought you pain. You wanted more. “...You deserve better,” he uttered, his eyebrows slightly scrunched as he looked at you with those eyes. There it was again, the look so intense that you were convinced they could swallow you whole. Yet, you could not interpret them. So, you looked away.
“Luke…” you said his name almost like a warning sign. The boy sighed at this. 
His fingers gently tilted your chin towards him, urging you to face him. There was so much contrast in the way he touches you and the way Cole does. You knew precisely why Luke wanted you to look at him: your eyes were your tell for him. Years ago, after you told him that eyes were the windows to one's soul, he told you that he knew this already because he had learned that your eyes will always tell the truth for you. That’s how, in so many instances, he would be the first to notice whenever you're upset. 
“Y/N, does he make you happy?” you stiffened at the question. Words choked up in your throat as your mouth opened to answer. You wanted to say yes so you both could get over this conversation. But you knew he would be able to tell you were lying. The way he looked at you right now, as if you were the only thing that mattered. He seemed so vulnerable. Little did you right at this moment, Luke was willing to surrender and let you go if you said yes.
“Oh, this is who you left me to talk to?” Cole's voice broke you both out of the trance. “The person who beat your boyfriend?” Cole passive-aggressively spat, sneering from above as he looked down at the two of you. You called out to your boyfriend, but he quickly cut you off with a quick “Unbelievable,” before walking away. But Cole did this on purpose. He liked the attention he drew, even if they were at your expense, especially because he knew you would chase after him.
“I’m so sorry,” you muttered to Luke on your boyfriend's behalf as you stood up to run after him. Luke frowned as he shook his head. If you were his, he would never allow you to apologize on his behalf, nor would he give a reason for you to ever do that.
“Uhm, what are you waiting for?” Annabeth’s voice broke Luke from his irritated state. “Go after her,” the young girl nudged.
“I doubt I should do that, Annabeth. Last time I was with him, he ended up in the infirmary.”
“Yes, but you need to go after her before it’s too late.”
“It’s already too late.”
“No, it’s not,” the girl stated sternly, and when Luke peered over at her, he recognized the look on her face. From experience, he knew better than to doubt when Annabeth was right. So, he stood up and walked in the direction where you disappeared after your boyfriend.
“Stop it, Cole. I don’t want to…” Your voice grabbed Luke’s attention as he started walking in that direction, eyebrows furrowed.
“Come on, this is the least you could do to make it up to me,” Cole replied. 
When Luke reached the scene, he almost went into an uncontrollable wrath when he saw Cole trying to take off your shirt as you objected and struggled out of his grip. 
“I said ‘let go,’ Cole,” you yelled this time, pushing him back. Upon finally doing so successfully, a figure stormed past you and immediately flung at Cole’s cheek, right at the spot that was already bruising. The impact knocked Cole to the ground as he wailed from the pain. Averting your gaze to the person, you saw Luke. Like a deranged bull, Luke grabbed Cole by the collar and lifted him up, going in for another hit, but you quickly stopped him, calling out his name.
Cole, who did not learn his lesson, spoke again, “Gods, of course! He runs to your aid again. You must be a good fuck for him to get this attached. How many times have you fucked him, huh? Gods, you’re such a whore, you know that?” If it were not for your hands stopping Luke and removing his grip from Cole’ shirt, Luke would have ensured Cole no longer had a face. 
“Cole, stay the fuck away from me. We are over.” Your words seemed to affect Luke more than Cole. It was as if Luke could feel an immense weight being lifted from his shoulders. “Let’s go, this is not worth it,” you told Luke. Cole barked a laugh at this.
“Man, you’re more trouble than it's worth. Do you know why no guys ever asked you out? You’re fucking difficult and clingy, that’s why. If it was not for that fucking bet, I would not have either.” Luke was about to launch at Cole but was caught off guard because you had already done it yourself. You punched him, aiming for his nose and teeth, making sure to break a few.
“You fucking bitch!” Cole spoke after he howled in agony. He spat out blood as his nose started bleeding, “Gods, you’re gonna pay for this.”
“Oh yeah? Come on!” you challenged him, motioning him to come over. Any sense of calm or restraint you had was long gone. “I’ll be the one sending you to the fucking infirmary this time,” right when you started approaching Cole again, you were quickly stopped by Luke. He stood behind you, one of his hands soothingly rubbing your back in an attempt to calm you down. Luke averted his gaze to Cole.
“If you know any better, then leave, Cole. And don’t come near any of us again, or I promise you…” Luke trailed off, shaking his head as his eyes bore the weight of the promise he left unsaid, leaving it to Cole’s imagination as to what Luke would ever do to him if he ever saw the boy again. Something seemed to dawn on Cole as he saw the dark look on Luke’s face. Cole finally decided to leave the scene, limping away from the area as he muttered some insults under his breath.
You turned around and inspected Luke’s hand, which started bleeding again through the bandage. Taking his non-injured hand in yours, you wordlessly dragged the boy to the infirmary. Despite the excruciating pain spreading through his injured hand, Luke blushed at your action and followed you like a lost puppy.
The Apollo person on shift was someone you knew, so you managed to convince them to let you do the work on the Hermes boy. You observed his hand again, peeling off the dirty bandage from it. As you went to grab disinfectant, Luke softly held you back by flipped over his hand that was in yours so that he could take a look at your hand instead.
“Are you okay?” His words made you swiftly look over at him instead. There was a sad look on his face as he sat on the infirmary bed. You haven’t seen him this hurt and dejected in a long time.
“Am I okay? You’re the one with the bleeding hand.”
“You punched him quite hard.”
“He deserved it,” you settled on answering, hesitantly pulling your hand out of his so you could grab the things you needed. 
“You know I had that handled, right?” you asked mindlessly, trying to fill the silence as you disinfected his hand and wrapped a new bandage over it. “I don’t need you to defend my honor or anything, Luke. I can hold my own ground,” you tried joking.
“No, I know you can hold your own ground. Besides, I wasn’t defending your honor,” he spoke softly, watching as you delicately held his hand with so much care. He wished you could hold him like that as well. A quivering sigh escaped his soft lips, his voice much less firm than he wanted it to be: 
“I was defending the girl I’m in love with.”
You immediately looked at him, only to see him already gazing up at you. It was as if a blindfold had been taken off, you finally understood what your other friends were referring to when they said that Luke had always “looked” at you. His eyes were filled with adoration. However, this time, they were also decorated with pain.
“I could be a better boyfriend than him,” he stated, almost like it was a fact, and your gut knew it was true, too. 
“So….Why not me? I watched you give Cole - a complete asshole - a chance with you. I watched him give you so much less than what you deserve. It pains me, but I still sit here and wait for you to look in my direction for even one second in the way I have always looked at you. I could be so good to you, Y/N. I waited for you to realize I could be the one who loves you so endlessly and treats you way better than all these guys combined. So…why? Please tell me why and put me out of my misery. Why is it not me?”
“Luke…” you rasped out his name. Despite the pain he was in, his heart could not help but throb for a second as it yearned for the sound of your voice calling out to him again. He almost scowled at himself for the way he was reacting to you. Gods, you managed to unravel him through the sound of his name from your lips. He hesitated for a second, wondering if he would even be able to take it at all - if he was given a chance with you. Would he be able to handle the way your skin felt against his, or would his heart burst into unstoppable flames? Would he ever be able to move on if you ended up breaking his heart, or would it remain in scattered pieces of you?
“I love you,” he uttered so effortlessly, which almost convinced you he had said it a thousand times before. In a way, he did, but only in his mind after every time he bid you goodnight. Gods, never did you think he’d say it out loud and put it out there. You almost said it before as well - out loud to the universe, but never brave enough.
“Luke, I never knew,” Luke wanted to sigh as he looked away from you. For the first time ever, he did not want to be vulnerable and let you see his eyes. The same ones that had been looking longingly at you for the past five years, and you were too blinded to see.
He could have sworn that he had been laying it on thick for the past years - all the touches, the looks, his actions. Luke would always linger near you and select you first every time he had to go on a quest. And if he ever were selected to go on one without you, the first thing he would do after returning is wrap his arms around your waist as he pulled you into a hug, breathing in your presence like it would bring him back to life from the gruesome battles he had to go through while out of camp. Did all those actions throughout five years not show you enough that he was infatuated with you? He wanted to reassure you that what Cole said previously was not true. Many guys wanted you but never asked you out because they knew he would be first in line no matter what. 
"Luke, please, look at me," Of course he obeyed. His eyes met yours - the ones he always tried to find in a crowd of demigods.
“I never knew that you were an option. I did not know that I could choose you. I thought that even attempting to tell you about my feelings would break our friendship forever. I didn’t know you felt this way, too. In fact,” you dryly chuckled. “I was giving Cole a chance because I was trying to move on from you.” Luke tugged you closer to him, his fingers lingering on your hips. Thousands of thoughts speared through him as he tried to collect himself. A glimmer of hope presented itself as his mind toyed with the idea of you wanting him too.There was no way he was letting you move on now, not when you both have mutual feelings. 
“I thought I was deep in the friend zone. Did you not see all the moves I pulled on you?” he asked.
“What moves?”
“Uhm—the physical contact?”
“I thought you were just touchy.”
“I walked you back to your cabin every night!”
“Well, I thought it was just a best friend thing?”
“The first thing I do after every quest is search for you, you’re always the first one I want to see.”
“I really, really thought it was because you were my best friend.” He groaned at all of your responses.
“But do know, Luke. You have always been my first option in everything. And I would have chosen you again and again, the first pick every round…if I knew you were up for it.” He groaned again, but this time out of temptation and satisfaction. He didn’t think the metaphorical butterflies were real. He slowly but surely stood up from the infirmary’s bed and wrapped his arms around your waist. You reciprocated, your hands around his neck. He leaned closer to you and gulped. He wanted to say the right words, do the right things and not mess this up. He took a deep breath and finally settled on what to say next.
“Can I kiss you?” He muttered in a low, raspy voice with a restrained manner, as if he was holding himself back. Five years of pining led him to this point. You almost melted at the sound of his voice.
“Kiss me, Luke.”
And he did. He pulled you up and arched down, connecting your lips together. He dove in as if he had been waiting for this day his whole life. He felt every breath knocked out of his lungs. He sunk himself into this moment like he was living for it rather than in it. He kissed you as if it was the only time he could and as if you would evaporate if he stopped. His hands moved to your face to embrace your cheeks in his palm.
You started moving your hands up his head and played with his curly hair. You tugged it slightly, and the action drew a moan from Luke. The sound caused you to break away. It made you flustered that you had evoked such an alluring sound from the Hermes boy. 
“I wanna go slow for you, I really do. But it feels like I’ve been waiting for so long. I want to be a gentleman and not skip steps. But I can’t wait anymore,” he whispered before whimpering against your lips, “please be mine.”
He went in for another kiss again, but you pulled away. His heart clenched at this. The boy bit his lip and wanted to scowl at himself for attempting to speed things up. He was too greedy and wanted things too quickly for you. He almost whined at the thought of losing the chance he barely had.
“That was not a question, Luke. Ask me, and I’ll give you an answer,” he stared into your eyes, and it almost set him on fire. He never saw that much passion in them before. It almost matched his, and that made his heart fasten again.
“Will you be mine, sunshine?”
“Yes, Luke. As long as you’re mine too.”
“I have always been yours.”
——————————
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orcelito · 1 year
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Progress towards updating was made. I finished the major edits I needed to do for chapter 42. Now there are just 3 flags to settle, and then general consistency editing (like figuring out what the fuck happened to akira's GLASSES)
... no, I haven't written the post scene for the side thing yet. Im gonna do that tomorrow
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