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lovebillyhargrove · 8 months

Text

Wake me up when July is around

Chapter 12/?

***

November is halfway through its drizzles, last whirling leaves in a hurry to catch up with those that have already been swished away, misty mornings and murky twilight. The days are mostly gray and windy, but there are still some rare sunny ones with the air so chilly and crisp, breathing it in is like drinking refreshing minty lemonade. The sun is not lighting up the woods in bright autumn colours anymore, like it did in September and October, and all that's left are dark bare branches wherever you look. Suddenly the world has lost its vivid colours.

Just like Steve's life. It's gray and warmless.

It's lonely, and

Cold.

Same as November nights.

Steve hates the nights now. It's brooding time, and that's not fun.

He opens the window in his room wide, surrenders to the cold, and smokes.

Usually the night sky is overcast in clouds, with the darkness hanging low

But sometimes the sky is pitch black clear

And Steve watches the glowing moon and the twinkling stars

Cigarette smoke curling up

He's watching the outline of the dark woods - the woods that might be keeping a terrible secret

Of how a girl vanished into thin air

And not a trace of her was ever to be found again.

Nothing is clear about it, up to today. It still remains a terrifying unsolved mystery.

Steve is standing in front of the open window,

The night air so fresh.

It doesn't make him calm. It doesn't bring him the peace of mind

Instead, it awakens an even deeper yearning.

He wonders if a heart is broken once, it's going to stay like this for the lifetime.

***

Nancy is not sitting with Steve at lunch anymore, she's always with Jonathan. Tommy is sending them daggers across the lunch hall, but Steve doesn't even want to look their way. It hurts.

King Steve, wounded by the sword of love and bleeding out, everyone! Gather round to watch the King be defeated!

No-one gives a fuck, really. The school is living its life.

Steve's feeling lonely, but he's not alone - he is surrounded by his usual court - Tommy, Carol and Nicole. It's Tommy and Carol who make occasional snide remarks about Nancy and her new boyfriend, and although Steve's still mad, it somehow doesn't sit right with him. He used to feed on malice, but now he'd rather have silence.

Steve needs to process everything, he doesn't need the useless noise.

However, when he does get time alone at home, especially when his parents aren't there, he discovers that silence doesn't bring any comfort or clarity.

It brings unrest and gloom.

And so he opens the window again at night and lights a cigarette

The chilly clear air doesn't make him calm.

Nothing makes him the way he was before.

Steve doesn't know what to do with it. He wonders if he's ever, ever going to feel light and happy again.

He is too young to feel this wretched.

***

The SAT results came in and they weren't good. Last spring when he was still a careless junior and so - oh my god, he was so - in love, floating on air and making plans to conquer the heart of the most beautiful girl in the world, he scored around 750 points, which was embarrassingly low but Steve didn't care. Last spring was the coolest time when everything seemed possible and the future seemed bright, regardless of stupid exams.

This year he got 890.

He shouldn't make any rash decisions. He should choose carefully.

Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Columbia, UCLA, you name it. All of these places will welcome him with open doors and arms.

What a bunch of crap.

Steve doesn't even want to study for four - is it four? - more years of his life. He doesn't like studying. There, he said it. Whose idea was it even? Mom's, dad's? .. Wasn't it clear to them from the beginning that their son is not cut out for university?

Mom told him to have a plan B.

He doesn't but he must totally think of something. Later.

Steve throws together the SAT results, coach Nelson's recommendation, the application essay Nancy helped him write, and sends it anyways, to a couple of much less prestigious higher education establishments. This way, he'll tell his parents he's done everything that's in his power, if they ask.

***

Today at lunch Steve can't help himself. He's watching Nancy, out of the corner of his eye, and

She looks so sad.

She just looks so fucking sad, it's breaking his heart all over again, shattering small pieces into even tinier ones.

Maybe he shouldn't have listened to Tommy. Writing slut all over the school wall was probably too much.

She cheated on him, she did.

It wasn't like that, Steve!

But she never explained like what it was.

She hurt him and he hurt her back, but did it make him feel better?

For a moment, yeah.

It isn't her fault Steve wasn't able to provide her with the consolation she was looking for.

It isn't her fault that she didn't love him.

When today's classes are finished, Harrington walks out of the school building, heading to his beamer

Tommy is catching up with him

"Hey, man! Whatcha doing tonight?"

"Uhm .. I'm not sure. Why?"

"Just wanted to .. I dunno. Hang out?"

Tommy is taking out two cigarettes and offering one to Steve. He accepts.

The first drag feels especially good.

Carol is joining the two boys a minute later.

They spot Nancy and Jonathan walking together to Byers' old beat and rusty Ford LTD.

What does she even see in that guy, it's beyond Steve's comprehension. To dump him for .. that ? She didn't love Steve but she loves him now ??

"Ugh I cannot look at these two, like .." It's Carol scrunching her face in disgust

Tommy's chiming in

"Byers' face creeps the fuck out of me."

"Totally."

"He looks like such a psycho. People still don't know what happened to his brother last summer. Maybe he was holding him in their basement or some sick shit like that."

"Wouldn't be surprising."

Carol's popping her gum and that sets Steve off

"Tommy, just .. maybe don't jump to assumptions like that?"

"What ..? Why not?"

"I'm just saying, no-one knows what happened, so .."

"Yeah, whatever. The dude's still a total creep. Did you see the look on his face when he was beating you up? Like .. he was so mad at you for calling his family what it is. He could've killed you, easy."

"He's absolutely sick."

"Guys, enough."

Carol's chuckling mean and nasty

"Oh god, I just got an image of him making that face while he and Nancy are screwing, ew, yuck."

She pops the gum once more and the sound of it and her giggling is so off-putting - Steve did ask them both to stop, didn't he? - something snaps inside of him

"Why don't you shut your mouth, Carol?"

His friend's girlfriend is taken aback

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Hey! What's your problem, man?" They may be best friends but you gotta defend your girl's honour.

However, Steve's had enough of their poison

"You're both being assholes, that's my problem!"

"Are you serious right now, man?"

What Tommy is saying is

I'm your friend, bro, I'm on your side. Everything I do, I fucking do it for you. The fuck's wrong with you?

"Yeah I'm serious. I don't know, Tommy .. Maybe we shouldn't have done that."

"You mean call her out for what she really is? Oh that's funny cause I don't remember you saying no to the whole idea."

"Yeah okay, and maybe I was wrong like .. I don't know, man!" Steve should definitely lower his voice because people are starting to pay attention.

"What the hell, Steve?" Tommy is nervously taking the last drag and flicking the cigarette butt away

"Neither of you ever cared about her. You never even liked her!"

"That's right, we never did. We never told you otherwise!"

That's true. Since day one Steve's friends have always disliked his good girl girlfriend

"We never pretended to like her. But we tolerated her!" Tommy's voice sounds bitter

For you.

Carol rolls her eyes and - God help him if she's gonna pop that stupid gum again

"What was there to like anyways? She turned you into a pussy-whipped loser!"

"And she cheated on you."

Like he needs it rubbed in his face right now.

"Shut up, Carol!"

Enough. Tommy's grabbing Harrington by the collar of his jacket and gets his face close to Steve's.

"Hey! I don't know what's gotten into you, man, but you don't talk to her that way."

Steve kinda hates Tommy right now. Hagan's all in his space, crowding him against the car

They are both all in his space, in his personal business, it's suffocating

"Get out of my face."

He's grasping Tommy's wrists, trying to free himself

"What are you gonna do, huh? You gonna fight me too now, Steve?"

People are definitely looking. There might be teachers nearby. Steve doesn't need another detention

"I wouldn't recommend that, Harrington. You couldn't even take Byers."

Tommy spits on the ground and Steve shoves him away, finally. It stings, it fucking stings,

He opens the car and gets in, he wants to

Fucking

Be alone. It won't make him feel any better, but he can't stand being around Tommy and Carol right now

"Here, let me get the fucking door for you, buddy!"

The door slams, tires screech and Harrington's beamer takes off

"That's right, run away, Stevie boy! Run away, just like .. like you always do! That Nancy's turned you into a little pussy!"

Tommy's aware that now everyone in the parking lot is fucking staring cause he's yelling

Let them.

Carol's holding him by the arm.

"Hey .."

"That's right, Harrington! Run! Run the hell away!"

Hagan is still following the speeding away beamer with his eyes

"Stop shouting, Tommy, he can't hear you."

Carol sighs and pops the gum again

What the fuck was that, really. Tommy can't believe Steve has gone so fucking soft and gooey for a chick who doesn't deserve him.

This is the downfall of King Steve which he has been predicting all along.

Fucking bitch. Steve's even stomping all over their friendship because of her.

A decade of friendship. They've stayed together with Wheeler for half a year? ..

Tommy's got feelings too, you know?

They've been best friends since forever, and it's .. Harrington's gone rabid.

"What's everyone looking at, huh? The show's finished!"

They sure had their share of fights with Steve over the years, but not ..

Not like that.

***

Harrington doesn't even come to lunch hall anymore. Who needs food. He goes to his beamer and smokes during lunch break.

He ghosts through classes and during the ones they share Billy notices that King Steve has been looking a bit worse for wear lately.

It doesn't make him less pretty, on the contrary. It has added a veil of sadness to his face, a veil of .. mystery?

Depth, even.

The hell Billy's thinking about, there is no fucking mystery, the dude just got so pussy-addicted, he's having a hard time breaking himself out of it. It's pathetic, not mysterious.

That is why it's a rule - no to heavy drugs. Including fucking feelings.

Hargrove witnessed the ugly scene between Harrington and Hagan in the school parking lot. It looked like they were about to kiss, Tommy standing on tiptoes and Steve holding him by the wrists. That was entertaining to watch. So much pique, so much wounded passion. Billy wonders if Carol is aware of her boyfriend's crush on his best friend.

If Billy is honest with himself, which he usually is, he kinda misses the fire and the sass, and the mean pettiness. Steve stops coming to lunch at all, and it doesn't sit well with Billy. Like something that's always been on his radar, disappeared out of sight, but he still keeps searching for it, following an echo of a habit.

Life in Hawkins has become a tiny bit more uninteresting all of a sudden.

The fuck?

It's humdrum as it is, but uh ..

Billy misses the irritating itch and pushing each other around during basketball practice.

He tries riling Harrington up during a game once or twice, when the sad fuck is actually playing and not chilling on the bench. For one week straight he came to practice limping and complained of a sprained ankle to the coach

Total bull

"The former king of school gave up being captain just like that, huh? How does it feel to be even worse than a loser?"

Billy's breathing down Steve's neck trying to take the ball from him

"A loser without the crown?"

Steve spikes the ball so hard, it goes flying off the court

The coach blows the whistle and Andy's like

"Harrington, what the hell?"

Steve looks like he couldn't care less about any of that

Leaves Hargrove standing there.

All Billy gets in return in not even a shove

Or even a fiery or an icy look - he would gladly take either at this point.

Or a fuck off

Billy gets nothing in return,

Zero reaction,

and it bothers him

Way more than a normal amount.

And yeah, on top of that, the fact that he's actually bothered annoys the hell out of him too. It's like double vexation, and Billy doesn't quite understand what's going on.

***

The most boring of all American holidays is coming up.

Billy recalls the time when he was little, they used to have family dinners on Thanksgiving, that is, when Mom was still part of their family. It was fine, he liked the food. He was snooping around the kitchen, while mom was cooking, sticking his little nose wherever he could, curious and eager to help.

After mom left, they never celebrated Thanksgiving with Neil. No extended family to visit.

When Susan appeared in their life, family Thanksgiving dinner became a thing. A much hated, but unavoidable obligation.

Billy fears this year it's going to be even worse than usual, because as he remembers, Susan and Neil have made plans to visit her hicktown relatives, and not just Aunt Shirley and Uncle Dean, no, it's gonna be a whole bunch of them getting together including the 100-year old nana

Like a huge Thanksgiving family reunion.

It's gonna be worse than a zombie apocalypse.

Shit.

However, the sun has shone on Billy once here in Hicksville, and it shines on him for the second time, which makes him particularly thankful on this holiday

His whole family is going to visit Susan's relatives, and Billy is again off the hook. Max is going feral, she doesn't wanna go. Susan is trying to smooth the rough edges, Max has no choice.

Billy is -

Ta-da! -

staying at home absolutely alone - this time for three whole fucking days.

How do you like that, Maxine?

Thursday, Friday, Saturday and even Sunday morning. On Thursday and Friday there's no school due to the holiday.

My god, dad, you're so embarrassed of me, you'd rather let me stay here again and enjoy myself than drag me along and make me suffer?

Billy will sure crack a can of beer for that on Thanksgiving morning.

Bless Susan and her dull relatives. Bless Hawkins, Indiana. Bless life.

Only seven months to go in this shithole, and so far, it's been bearable.

Billy expected much worse.

He doesn't have work on Thanksgiving Thursday, so it's the same routine - he sleeps in late, drinks beer for breakfast, lifts weights watching MTV, smokes whatever he wants and pleasures himself watching porn on the family couch again.

On Friday he gets up late and drives to work. Old Joe invites him to have lunch together, for which he's brought plenty of leftovers from yesterday's festive dinner.

"Your wife's a great cook, Mr. Daley."

"I'll make sure to tell her that."

Old man's son Pete came on a visit from Indianapolis with his wife, and Billy listens to his boss ramble about them.

Mr. Daley closes the shop early cause he clearly wants to get back to his family and spend time with them when he has the chance, so Billy gets to come home at five-thirty. He hangs around the empty house, blasts music in his room and calls Vicky to arrange a date for tomorrow. Vicky has been too clingy lately, he should probably break it off before she gets the wrong idea.

He's not relationship material, definitely not looking for any.

One last fuck won't hurt anyone though.

***

Steve goes to Indianapolis for the holiday weekend to visit mom's sister's family and then dad's cousin. Parents aren't even picking at his brain during the long drive. They are treating him with .. caution as if afraid to make matters worse. Steve thinks that's all mom's doing, because he can see his dad is this close to snapping. What can he do to him though? Not give him money for fucking lunch or gas? Or clothes? Take his car keys away for a while, so that he doesn't go to school at all? Steve feels his parents are at a loss like they aren't sure what to do with their difficult son.

This November he's skipped classes, got multiple detentions, two days of suspension, has gotten into a serious fight, almost started a couple of more, has supposedly vandalized school property, voluntarily given up being captain of the school basketball team, is no longer in a relationship with the most perfect girl - his parents did like Nancy .. what else? Fucked up his SATs, as well as his chances at having a decent future, has been drinking and smoking too much .. so yeah, mom is walking on eggshells around him while dad is getting angrier and more frustrated by the minute.

Steve's just watching the road and the endless fields and woods while listening to some romantic shit playing on the radio in the car. He hasn't got a single thought in his head.

It's cold, it's lonely and the emptiness is gonna stay for fucking ever.

***

December starts quietly, just like winter noiselessly creeps up on you, on soft kitten paws. It's getting even colder and colder, and although Hawkins doesn't get too much snow in winter, snowflakes start slowly falling from the sky.

Billy hates the cold, but white snowflakes do look beautiful on the blue hood of his car.

Everyone has to start dressing in warmer winter jackets which is something completely new for the Hargrove-Mayfield siblings. They both dislike it, and there's even an unspoken sort of truce established between them now, like they are both unhappy about the grey skies and they both long for the sunshine and wearing hoodies as their warmest item of clothing. The camaro is ice cold in the mornings and Billy's freezing his ass off starting the car, waiting for Max to drag hers out of the house.

Max has gotten much better about being on time for pick-up and stuff, whether it's school or the arcade, cause skate boarding in Indiana winter is tricky, and she did walk home once when Billy decided to remind her about punctuality. He got taught a lesson in return by his dad later that day, but the whole educational exchange has brought results - Max is almost always on time now.

And it's been making him lose his mind, to Max's not-so-well-hidden satisfaction and glee, although she held on tight to the seatbelt and went slightly white in the face whenever it happened.

The winter shenanigans have indeed strangely brought them just a tiny step closer - how surprised they were to see their breath on an especially frosty morning, the first puddle covered in an icy crust, the first snowflakes they saw falling, - they both think snow is kinda cool, Max slipping a few excited ohh-s and ahh-s and watching it in awe, and Billy rolling his eyes but secretly quite liking the snow himself. He is, however, unleashing full hate on the fucking sleet or ice on the roads - Billy has to drive much much slower now because of it. He still hasn't figured out how to deal with the treacherous enemy after the camaro hit patches of ice and went into a skid on more than a couple of occasions. Billy did not enjoy the feeling of not being in control of his car

Billy can't just floor the gas pedal anymore when he feels like it. He has to control his impulses.

Fucking ice be fucked.

***

Hawkins High School Homecoming marks the first week of December, and goes by unnoticed by Steve who's not allowed to participate in any activities that have been planned, and by Billy who simply doesn't give a shit. Hawkins High cannot boast a decent football team, or an indecent one, the whole celebration revolves around a basketball game instead. This year Hawkins Tigers effortlessly score a victory over Greenwood Eagles, the second one since September, and that was the only thing Hargrove actually took part in. The gym was packed, even the town mayor attended the match.

One evening after Homecoming fuss has settled down Tommy calls Steve -

A long deep exhale

"Just wanted to know how you've been, Harrington."

And Steve is kinda glad to hear his voice.

Tommy tells him that this year Homecoming was by far the dullest one.

"It sucked without you being there. I was bored to death. Winning the match was easy as pie. Guess who got coronated as the homecoming king at the dance?"

"Hargrove?"

"Nah, the dude didn't even show up."

The fucking always showing off attention guzzler didn't come to the dance?

Interesting.

No, it was Andy, the new captain of Hawkins Tigers. Tina was Homecoming Queen, of course, which made a lot of girls jealous, especially Vicky. She's been so bitchy lately cause Hargrove, apparently, is getting fed up with her.

It's clear that Tommy is offering Harrington peace, and when on Monday they smoke in the school parking lot standing by Steve's beamer just like in the old times, the two boys even make an attempt at having some kind of a heart-to-heart conversation

"It's just that .. it fucking sucks to see you like that, man."

"It's fine. I'll be okay. I know you want to help and stuff but maybe .. maybe you and Carol should stay out of it."

"You're asking me to stay out of it when that .."

He wants to say slut but he doesn't

"Just goes and treats you like that?"

"I'll deal with it myself, Tommy. I don't need your help, okay?? It's just .. it's making everything worse."

"Okay man. Okay. As you wish." Tommy's throwing hands in the air

He sounds offended, but frail peace is still better than not talking to your best friend.

"The way you're trying to help, it's not helping. Especially Carol with her fucking comments. I dunno .. just stay out of it, at least for the time being, alright?"

"Yeah, fine."

The smoke floats beautifully around them on that cold wintery day.

"Wheeler really did a number on you."

There's no sense in fighting the truth.

"Yeah .. she did, Tommy. She did."

***

After Homecoming, Middle school is about to have some fun - it is time for the annual Hawkins Winter Ball.

Billy drops Max off, and just to make sure everything is okay, goes inside for a minute or two. He sees Byers taking pictures of the kids and Wheeler chaperoning. They are smiling at each other across the hall, like the lame lovebirds that they are. Billy doesn't know the details, but Tommy has spread enough reliable information around.

King Steve got fucked over.

Billy notices Max talking to a weird-looking girl, and sees the familiar faces of the dweebs his step-sister usually hangs out with.

Everything looks okay, so he goes outside and sees Tommy frantically waving a hand at him from his ford. He's with his girlfriend, they brought Carol's brother to the party. Billy doesn't want to freeze his balls off sitting in the camaro, nor does he want to drive home and then come back - ice roads be damned - so he climbs into Tommy's ford and takes out two neatly rolled joints that he just happens to have in the pocket of his winter jacket.

They drive a little further away from the school and smoke the weed. It's not enough to get completely stoned or anything but it's enough to kill the time and shoot some dumb shit.

Billy even appreciates the unexpected company because he's been in a foul mood all day. He hates all this upcoming happy holiday season family bullshit, and he is dreading the winter break because he's gonna be staying at home with his precious family, all stuck together, and Billy's never done it before, for so many days, with nowhere to go. He's willing to work overtime in Old Joe's garage for free. He will probably do exactly that.

Billy also knows winter holidays in Indiana are not gonna be a particularly enjoyable experience, he can't even stay outside for a long time in this fucking weather, he'll freeze to death. He's been thinking about driving to California for the break, but his dad would never allow him that, even though all the expenses would be on Billy. Fuck, he'd just drive there for a week, crash at Nick's place, see his buddies, spend time by the ocean .. Billy is aware, if he drives away, he might as well stay there and not come back because Neil will simply shut the door in his face when he returns.

Four months till he turns eighteen, seven months till he's free to go.

Billy's also in a bad mood cause he got a bad dream last night.

He was swimming in the cold ocean, trying to reach his mom who he saw ahead of him. It was so exhausting, he was swimming and pushing himself to the limit, but whenever he tried to take her hand or get ahold of her floating white dress - he couldn't.

He wanted to reach her so bad

Mom, please

Dark grey waters swirling all around him, and mom's white dress in front of his eyes, and the feeling of hopelessness telling him to stop, turn back, it's useless

Billy didn't give up, he persisted, he swam and swam until his whole body hurt and there were spasms in his muscles

The moment he finally reached her, his hand getting tangled in her wet dress

And his fingers touching hers

He grabbed her hand. It was ice cold, morgue freezing

Somehow it was colder than the water around him

His mother was dead, body floating in the ocean, serpentine hair hiding her face

The white dress tangled all around Billy's arm

He wanted to let go, get away, get back to the shore

The white shreds of fabric, like tentacles of a giant octopus, not letting him free

Mom, please !!

Billy woke up in cold sweat, teeth clattering, blanket on the floor, he must've kicked it off in his sleep.

He doesn't know.

How it feels to live in this world

When you're loved by the people who brought you here

Billy only knows how it feels to exist when you're unloved.

There's a black void in his chest

That's never going to be filled.

Repaired, fixed, mended.

Billy can't forgive his mother.

But if she called and told him to come visit - wherever - he'd drop everything in a second and drive.

It was just a bad dream, they happen, seldom.

He's gotten used to it acting up, like an ulcer.

All of this, Billy keeps to himself, their meaningless conversation with Tommy and Carol is light, dumb and fun, it helps take Billy's mind off certain things, and the time goes by quickly.

When a happy Max drops into the passenger seat, they have a friendly exchange like

"You smell like weed, Billy."

"Not you damn business, Maxine."

And after driving in silence for a couple of minutes

"Who was that weird girl you were talking to?"

"Jane. She's new."

"She looks like she was held in one of those doomsday bunkers all her life."

Max is shrugging her shoulders

"Yeah, I don't know .. she's cool."

***

Billy is greedy enough to hope his family would go celebrate Christmas with Susan's relatives like they did with Thanksgiving, but that doesn't happen.

What does happen, is a very ceremonious Christmas dinner at home, Max wearing an ugly dress and Billy putting on his "good boy" blue button up.

When he and Neil were living alone, his dad didn't bother with the Christmas tree. It was just a usual day, and Billy didn't get any presents.

Susan's appearance in their lives has changed that, same as with other holidays.

The blue shirt was Susan's gift for last Christmas. This time it was 20 bucks in a merrily decorated gift card.

Susan must have her ways of persuading Neil to do nice things for Billy. Cause dad would never shell out twenty dollars for his son's Christmas gift.

She's really trying to make it look like they have a family, and sometimes she gets to have the upper hand. Billy almost feels bad for her but then, he might be wrong. Maybe Susan's happy with Neil. Maybe he's someone she's been looking for, who the fuck knows.

***

There's a New Year party at Andy's right after Christmas. His mom and dad are out of town visiting friends, and Andy couldn't pass up such an opportunity.

It's not as massive as previous high school parties this senior year, cause some people went away on holidays with their parents, and time for preparation was not nearly enough.

But it's still a party, with booze and loud music and teenagers who just want to have a good time.

"Come on, motherfuckers, let's celebrate the night!" Tommy's loud battle-cry announces the beginning of chaos

And chaos does unravel.

There isn't even any special entertainment tonight, everyone just wants to get wasted and shake off the burden of everyday school life. Adult responsibilities are around the corner, and people wish to hold on to being irresponsible for just a bit longer.

When everybody is already drunk and breaking up into small groups and couples, Andy/Tina, Tommy/Carol and Hargrove end up in a room upstairs, sitting comfortably on the floor, and Billy's generous enough again to share his Californian weed with the assembled powwow.

Tina's pissed at him cause Hargrove hasn't invited Vicky to join the session.

"Why didn't you bring your girlfriend?"

"Who?"

Tina's rolling her beautiful eyes in a guys-are-such-pigs display

"Seriously, Billy?"

Andy is pulling his girlfriend closer

"Baby, it's kinda their business?"

"Well, she's my friend, and she's .." - Tina is whispering in Andy ear for everyone to hear, - "In love!"

Not much of a secret anyway.

It's Hargrove's turn for an eye roll.

"Tina, hate to break it to you, she's not my girlfriend."

The dark-haired girl looks at him disapprovingly

"Does she know about that?"

"Uh .. yeah?"

Hargrove is getting slightly annoyed

"I'm still new here, tell me are you the town's pimp or something?"

Tommy and Andy laugh like hyaenas, the girls give Hargrove a scornful eye, clearly judging him, and even Harrington chuckles.

Vicky's in love?

Sucks for her, cause Billy isn't.

And yes, Harrington is here too. Tommy has dragged his sad body along. He's been quiet all this time, looking like he's about to perish from the unrequited love right here, right now.

When they are done smoking and the couples get handsy and busy and go to different rooms -

Carol's in a hurry to leave, she still hasn't forgiven Steve for the scene in the parking lot -

Harrington and Billy are left alone.

They are drunk and high and that feels

Fucking amazing.

They are still sitting on the floor, Billy's back against the bed, and Steve's relaxed against the dresser next to it

"Look like it's just you and me, amigo."

Billy's not in the mood for a brawl.

Suddenly there's another neatly rolled blunt in Billy's fingers

"Wanna share?"

Harrington can't help but feel surprised.

The dude's like a drug lord, what the hell

"How much weed do you actually have?"

"A suitcase."

Billy clicks the lighter and takes a deep drag

"Trying to finish it all before I head back home."

"You like traveling light?"

"Who doesn't?"

Wow, look at them having a conversation. Christmas miracles or some shit.

Harrington gets a dumb look on his pretty boy sad face and drawls

"You ever shotgunned before, Hargrove?"

"Maybe a couple of times. Not a big fan."

"Why is that?"

Billy's shrugging the shoulders, and Steve makes a note of how wide they are. Why do they look so .. broad like you wanna .. why aren't his own shoulders like that?

The memory of Hargrove swimming in his pool comes to mind, when he was throwing his arms wide, cutting through the water

"Too intimate."

"Too .. what?"

Billy's chuckling

"Nevermind."

Without warning, Steve thinks if the world is freezing up, and it is after Nancy has left him, nobody cares what he does

What he's about to do

And most importantly, Steve himself doesn't give a fuck.

"I've always wanted to try it."

"You and Tommy never done it before?"

"Uh .. no?" That's a strange question.

"Yeah .. well I don't shotgun."

"Why not?"

Harrington is one hundred percent wasted

"Man, I just told you."

Steve's looking at Billy with wide open eyes and a slightly open mouth, like a fucking baby deer, for fuck's sake

His eyes are pretty too. Deep hazel

It's like Harrington did not hear anything Hargrove told him a second ago cause he's getting on his knees and getting closer to Billy

Looks at him expectantly

Hargrove's throat becomes dry from all the smoking and his voice is hoarse and unexpectedly shaky

"Harrington, I .."

Steve's putting one hand on the other side of Billy's thighs

"Take a hit."

The fucking eyes looking at him like that,

stop looking at me like that

Billy brings the almost finished joint to his lips, inhales slow and deep under Steve's stare

Then puts the blunt on the ashtray on the floor

Everything's under control

And is about to make the distance between their faces minimal

To actually shotgun

When the dumb fuck Harrington suddenly makes a stupid movement

Like his supporting arm gives way and his lips end up touching Billy's cheek

The smoke rolls out of Billy's mouth and he's coughing while Harrington's backing away

Shotgunning, uh-huh. Bambi can't even sit straight

"Dude, the hell? You fucking fell on my face."

Billy's voice is still raspy as fuck

"I did, didn't I?"

Steve's hesitantly and dangerously getting closer to the other boy's mouth, his lips lightly brushing Billy's, feather on feather

Don't do it, Harrington. Not again.

"You're a trippy bitch, Harrington. You called me a fag, remember?"

"So? I'm kissing you now. It doesn't matter."

It's that easy huh

Throwing words around

Life has still so much to teach you, you pretty baby

It's not my job though

I just want to .. give in once again

His lips are too pretty to say no to.

When he's looking at Billy like that

And there's something .. something about him. Like he's offering and insisting but he's also begging at the same time, but also like .. if Billy's gonna say no, Harrington will not be disappointed

But the thing is, he will, and

It's just too delicious a mix to turn down

"You gonna call me a fag again?"

"Jesus, Hargrove. Stop talking."

Harrington is such a fucking asshole, and it makes him so sexy

That easy

His face is so sexy

The fucking lips

Like a magnet

"Even if I do .. Like it's gonna bother you. Affect you in any way."

Harrington is right. All these stupid attempts to make Billy less confident? Lose his footing? It's hilarious. Entertaining.

Do you know how many times my own dad - the only family that I've got - called me different, oh so many different names and words, Steve?

These things are too little to make him fall. His feet are planted

If he wants to be a fag, he'll be one, and no-one will make him feel ashamed for that.

Billy closes his eyes and smiles like a cat

Snorting and fucking purring contentedly

His white teeth flash

And eyelashes give a flutter, and Steve can't contain himself anymore

He can play a little. It brings amusement, it brings distraction. It's not going anywhere, it's a dead end, but it takes his mind off of things so why not

The pull is strong, and it takes them both over

It's not really clear who kisses who this time

Cause they might just move in sync

Lips on lips, eyes wide open

Then Billy drops his heavy eyelashes, and they fucking throw shadows under his eyes, Steve can see them

Hargrove opens his mouth inviting him

And Steve dives in

He doesn't pull away when their tongues touch, like he did last time

Hargrove's tongue is wet and smooth and Steve's closing his eyes as well

He lets himself go wild

They kiss like they're two horny teenagers

They kiss like they're about to fuck

They kiss like all hell got loose

Sliding their tongues on each other's lips and into the mouths

Licking in deep and slow

Fucking .. deeper and slower like they are letting themselves really enjoy it

Lashes dancing, getting glimpses of each other's flushed faces

Billy is so hard in his jeans, and suddenly

He needs to know if Harrington is hard too.

Billy awkwardly places his hand on Steve's crotch and squeezes

Harrington's definitely hard, and his dick is big, just like it was promised in the showers

Not that Billy was looking

Who cares

Even of he was

It's not gonna lead to anything more tonight -

or ever -

Cause Harrington is breaking off the kiss

The kiss that tastes so good

Just like in Tina's bathroom - he unlocks their lips and moves back

Like a fucking teasing bitch that he is

Billy wants more of it, he does, his dick wants more

But Steve's pulling away and placing a gap between them

And Billy .. Billy's not gonna chase him

"Don't get any ideas, California."

There it is, a tiny prick on Billy's skin and a little dose of venom is getting injected

Harrington fucking kissed him again, and then California put him at a no-kissing, nothing personal distance.

You don't need it, Billy, it's not worth it, he's just a self-entitled tease.

"No worries. You might have a pretty face but it's not enough for me to get any ideas, Harrington."

Billy gets up from the floor and walks away.

Steve's left alone. The kite is still flying high but

What was that ..? Steve's pretty face is not enough to give Hargrove any ideas?

Sounds like a challenge.

And yeah, he kissed the guy again. It was a spur of the moment, Steve's allowed a weakness or two.

Going through a breakup is hard.

***

When Steve stumbles inside the house after midnight reeking of weed, and finds his parents in the living room god knows why waiting for their son to show up - only mom waited up for him before, - it leads to

First, an unpleasant conversation which Steve doesn't give a flying fuck about trying not to giggle as much at his father's indignant face

"Dad, come on, it's only marijuana, Jesus."

Second, unexpected consequences.

Parents are taking him away to Lake Michigan for the winter break. The Harringtons own a house up there, right on the shore. In fact, Steve loved visiting the place when he was little, the whole family used to spend several weeks there every summer. He's never been up there in winter.

Mom makes a point that it's not a way to punish him, but an attempt to break the cycle. Detentions? Behavioural problems? Suspension? Smoking pot?? Son you need to take a break, get things straight in your head. Have you sent applications to colleges? Do you need any help?

Next morning when Steve slips out of his room to the bathroom, he overhears parents talking in the kitchen. His mom is trying to make her voice as hushed as possible

"Honey, he's been through so much. It was a traumatic experience, that girl and .. and now he's broken up with Nancy Wheeler. Such a shame, I really liked her."

Dad's voice is booming

"That's not an excuse!"

Steve tiptoes back to his room and slides under the blanket where it's nice, warm and there aren't any problems

Only to be woken up by mom thirty minutes later.

"Come on, Stevie, we are leaving in two hours! Breakfast and packing, come on!"

Whatever. Guess he'll just look at fucking snow around him for all ten days.

***

During winter holidays Billy comes early to his shifts in the garage and stays late after, just as he has planned on doing. He asks his boss if that's okay, he doesn't expect to get paid extra, he simply wants to keep his hands busy

And stay out of the house.

Old Joe doesn't pry

"There's always work here, son, if you want it."

The only thing close to having some kind of fun that Hargrove does at the beginning of January, is smoking a couple of blunts with Tommy who comes visit him at the repair shop around closing time. It's not like they are friends, but Tommy probably doesn't know that. Anyways, it doesn't hurt to spend an hour sitting in the camaro

"Winter fucking sucks, Tommy. Ice is the worst."

"Wait till we get black ice, man. All roads are gonna be one big skating rink."

What the hell is black ice, sweet mother of Jesus.

It's definitely the weed that makes his tongue loose and asking stuff he doesn't need or want to know

Gotta keep the small talk flowing

"When is Harrington coming back?"

Tommy shoots a glance at Hargrove

"You miss him or something?"

"Yeah right .."

Billy snorts

"Just can't believe a dude can get so fucked up over a bitch."

"Yeah .. I don't know. Love hurts or something."

"I guess."

Billy has never been in love and doesn't want it. The heaviest drug of them all.

Loving someone never leads to anything good in the end, only pain.

"How long you and Carol been together?"

"We've known each other since childhood but like together ..? Maybe a couple of years?"

Tommy inhales the smoke, holds it in and lets it out

"She can be a real bitch but like .. we get each other, you know?"

Billy gives a little nod.

He thinks to himself, it's Tommy who misses Harrington. He can't blame him. Friends will be friends, until life breaks them apart.

Billy should definitely call Nick, ask him how it's going, share the pain of having to drive with stupid ice on the roads. He can probably do it from a payphone, not to involve Neil in seeing the phone bill though.

***

Billy doesn't see Harrington during winter break in reality, but he does he see him in a dream once

And of course, it has to be a fucking sex dream, like .. why ?

He can still recall it when he opens his eyes early in the morning, he remembers the sensation of his hard dick being swallowed whole

Billy's sprawled out on his bed, stark naked. His legs are spread wide, and there's someone's warm mouth on his cock. Billy's getting the best blowjob of his life. It's so slow, so tantalizing, erotic. It's making him feel so fucking good, light and breezy

Billy doesn't see the face but he somehow knows that it is Harrington down there between his legs. He places his hand on the head slowly moving up and down, he's touching the hair, getting a fistful of it, and it sends sparkles up his spine, lighting up every fucking cell in his body

It's like he's bathing in bliss.

Billy wakes up long before his alarm clock is supposed to go off, it's still dark in the room, and in a half-sleepy daze

He takes his time jerking off, holding on to the bliss, thinking about Harrington's lips on his own.

They've kissed two times, one drunk kiss, the other one stoned, and Billy's heart is stumbling down the spiral chute when he recalls either, or both.

He shouldn't be thinking about it though

Cause when he does

It leaves him wanting.

#harringrove #billy x steve #harringrove slow burn #s1steve x billy #harringrove high school shenanigans #harringrove fic

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jojomaxine · 1 year

Text

Modern Diopucci AU - fight ahre

Set in the Modern Diopucci AU

reminder: past divorced jonadio. I am here just being cringe. enjoy if you do, fuck off if it angers you.

Things had been tense for a while. The couple had never had as many arguments as they've been having lately.

—Dio —Pucci sighs, lowering Verdena to the ground. He looked like something had happened— You can't keep things like this anymore.

—"Keep" what? —Dio raised an eyebrow, a slight confused expression as he stopped looking at his phone.

—Your sons —Pucci explained, encouraging Verdena to go play with the toys and games left for her in the living room, before turning back and taking a seat in front of Dio on the kitchen table. Verdena obediently went her own way, a bit curious of the conversation that was about to delve but knowing that she always got bored with the dealing of topics she couldn't quite grasp yet. After the girl was out of sight, Pucci continued— You can't keep giving them money. It's not solving any of their problems. Donatello keeps getting fired because he can't behave properly at work. He knows he'll always get what he needs from you anyways. And Ungalo is not paying therapy. You know what he's spending that money on.

Dio seemed the slightlest irritated at that. Pucci was not one to hold back his complaints, and although it was something Dio deeply admired from him, it sometimes backfired and put him in bothersome situations as well. —What else do you expect me to do? They're adults. They're old enough to know what they're doing. I'm not gonna run behind them monitoring whether or not they keep up with their responsabilities.

Pucci's lips frowned more at that. He knew that Dio was fully aware of the way he was ignoring the logic.

—You're not taking care of them and I'm having to do it instead. You know it well, they always come to me. May I remind you who their father really is?

—Don't pull that on me, Enrico. I never asked you to do that for me. You're always like this, haven't you noticed? —Dio tsked, now fully setting down his phone on the table— You put weight you're not ready to carry on your back and you get mad with me when it doesn't turn out well.

Pucci breathed in. Dio was purposefully being obstuse. Pucci was not Jonathan. He wasn't going to fall into the way his partner twisted his actions to fit a story that was not true. Dio knew that, yet still tried to treat him as if he was as naive to fall into it as the Joestar was. He took a few moments to reply, just watching his husband in silent anger.

—You know that's not right, Dio. You asked me that one time. You asked me if I loved you with all of what you carried on your back. You asked if I was willing to share that weight with you, and I said I was. You may not ask me to do it directly, but it's an issue that will fall on someone sooner or later, and you only worry about your children or mention them when I am the one who gets so overstressed and stop worrying. And even then, you don't move a finger to make things better. —He was quick to accuse, delivering his words with a voice a lot more calm than what he was actually feeling inside— I congratulate you for being able to watch your kids destroy their lives in front of you and ignore it, but I can't do that too.

—Oh, for God's sake, Enrico. —Dio made a disgusted expression— Do not call them "children" as if they're not fucking grown ups. And of course I'm right. That's what you always do. —He insisted.

—Care explain what "always" is to you, Dio? —.

The older looked plainly angry now. He was being brought into an argument he didn't want to have right now, or ever. Being the impulsive asshole he often was, he couldn't shut his mouth before he said way too much.

—You didn't have to go "fix things up with Jonathan" for us, yet you did. You don't have to do that stupid, waste of time, Charitable Church thing. Heck, you didn't have to adopt your dead sister's baby when you knew your parents could have done it and saved us the trouble, yet you did. It's not on the rest of the world if you take care of things no one asked you for and get tired of them.

Pucci looked taken aback by that. He straightened back in his place, his expression pure disbelief and slight betrayal. He knew Dio was impulsive. Dio could spill venom when he truly wanted. But in those nasty moments he always was somehow being honest. Was that what he tought of Pucci's daughter? It took some time for the blond to notice he went overboard. When he changed from angry to regretful Pucci was already getting up.

—Wait- Enrico, dear —he had the decency of at least looking a little ashamed as he attempted to go after him. Pucci took a surprised but compliant Verdena in his arms again and made quick work of grabbing the keys the and satchel bag he always took outside, and only looked back to Dio with very cold eyes when he was at the door. —I don't want to see you right now. I'm gonna take some air and think. I advice you to do the same.

And it was that way that Pucci went to Donatello's shitty apartment to try and cool down, and Dio called Jonathan for advice again.

#diopucci #donapucci #verdena pucci #enrico pucci #jjba #stone ocean

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jesslikestowrite · 2 years

Text

Jonathan thought it was best if they all get some rest, so here they were, in the middle of a desert, in Argyle's van, sleeping, well at least Jonathan and Argyle was asleep, Will and Mike on the other hand couldn't seem to fall asleep.

Will looked over at Mike. The other boy was facing away from him, so he couldn't make out if he was sleeping or not.

"Mike?" It was barely a whisper. Will didn't even know if Mike heard it or not, but he did.

Mike hummed in acknowledgement.

"Are you using your jacket?" Will asked.

Mike looked over at the jacket that he seemed to have discarded on the floorboard. "I guess not. Why? Do you need it?"

"Well, I'm kind of cold..."

Mike's attention were immediately on him. "Why didn't you say anything sooner?" Mike grabbed the jacket and placed it over Will's arms. He wrapped his arms around Will and pulled the boy closer to him.

Will froze at the contact. He couldn't help the blush that started to crept onto his cheeks and if he happened to leaned into Mike's touch, no one had to know, except for them.

"Um, I'm sorry if I waked you-" Will started to say.

"No, no, no, you're fine. I wasn't going to fall asleep any time soon anyway."

"Couldn't sleep?"

"No. My brain just won't shut up..."

"Thinking about El?"

"Well, yeah. I've been thinking about our relationship and where we stand and how she might be right. The truth is, I don't think I love Eleven anymore, at least in not that way. I mean, I will always care about her of course. I think I like someone else. No, love someone else. But, I'm... scared."

"Scared? How come?"

"I'm scared because what if I ruin our friendship. What if they decide they hate me. What if they wouldn't even want to be friends with me anymore. I'm just scared of ruining things because that's all I seem to do now."

Will slowly started to look up at him. He could see how bad this was hurting Mike and he hated it. He hated seeing him liked this, even if he was also hurting because Mike doesn't like him and why would he? Will forced a smile. "Look, Mike if she doesn't see how amazing you are then clearly she doesn't deserve you and stop saying bad things about yourself! You don't ruin things!"

Mike smiled sadly. "Who said it was a she?"

Will froze. "Are they not.. a girl?"

"Would that be such a bad thing?"

"What?! No, of course not! Mike, that's an amazing thing!"

Mike let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. "Cool."

Will smiled. "Cool."

"Mike?"

"Will?"

"I'm sorry, you first." They said in unison.

"Okay, on three. Go!"

"1..."

"2..."

"3..."

"I'm gay!"

"I think I like boys too!"

Will and Mike stared at each other until they both burst out laughing.

Once they both finally calmed down, Mike placed his palm against Will's cheek. "It's you."

"What?"

"Will, it's you. The one I'm in love with..."

Will couldn't believe his ears. Mike Wheeler, his best friend, whom he been in love with since forever, actually loves him back.

"I love you too, Mike."

Mike leaned in slowly. He rubbed soothing circles against Will's cheek with his thumb before pressing his lips against his and it was the best thing he have ever felt before. No offense to El, but this was so much better.

They both pulled apart and rested their foreheads against each other's and smiled the biggest smile they have ever smiled before.

"We should probably try to get some sleep now..."

Will smiled at Mike as he laid his head against Mike's chest. "With you by my side? That should be easy."

Mike chuckled softly as he wrapped his arms around Will's waist.

"Goodnight, Will."

"Goodnight, Mike."

#stranger things #mike wheeler #will byers #byler #byler oneshot

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sttheorycraft · 2 years

Text

S4 Vol 1 Reaction/Analysis

This will contain spoilers, as well as my thoughts on Byler in S4 as a somewhat grounded person.

I'm probably in the minority here from what I've seen, but I found the season so far disappointing. That sounds a bit harsher than I want, partially I was too hyped and it does stay interesting enough to watch all 9 hrs in one day without getting impatient, which is saying something. But I was hoping for more? I was hoping for S1-level quality and it felt more like S3 again, with a more interesting villain but a less funny script. I'd give it a 6.5-7/10 if I were handing out ratings.

Aside from the entertainment value, what was particularly disturbing were the writing mistakes. They knew Hopper was going to survive before they finished S3, but they didn't set up any logical way for him to get out, just dropped him to the floor. And magically he didn't die during the explosion even though in S3E1 everyone on the floor level did. Wtf?

Then Will's birthday. Look, I ship Byler, but I'm not a Will megafan or anything. I don't care on a personal level that they forgot about Will's birthday. But guys, they forgot about Will's birthday. There's no other explanation. This is not going to be explained away in Vol 2. It's over. Jonathan and Joyce, and Will himself, did not all simultaneously forget his birthday. Will was already upset on that day and he didn't bring up that it was his birthday too? It would've been so easy to add in: they could've been doing Will's birthday party at the rink, it could've been a birthday dinner at the house. They just completely forgot.

And what's more deeply worrying for me is what that says about the writers' attention to detail this season, and what that in turn means for us theorizers. They completely missed Will's birthday despite it being prominently discussed in S2. They don't know their own show. How much of our theorizing to apologize for inconsistencies (e.g., my theory about Eleven never leaving the water tank) is just overanalyzing mistakes on their part? How are they able to weave intricate stories with subtle clues through Easter eggs left and right when they miss something so blatantly obvious?

Finally, Byler in S4. Anyone with two brain cells can tell that Will has the hots for Mike this season. (This translates to 85% of the general audience from what I can tell on Reddit, yes there are still a few that things WHOOSHED for.) So imo one-sided Byler is canon. What I've said above, however, calls into question a lot of the proposed evidence for mutual Byler in past seasons. This doesn't mean Byler can't be endgame, but if it is, it's less clear that it always was, or what their reasons are for making it so (perhaps trying not to queerbait or satisfying Byler shippers or whatever). There are undeniably rainbows throughout, but even that could have ambiguous meanings.

What's more concerning on the mutual Byler front is Mike on two occasions proclaiming that he and Will are "friends". If they were trying to be clear that they weren't doing mutual Byler as endgame without queerbaiting, that's what I'd expect it to look like. They aren't doing anything clearly though, as Mileven's problems leave some window for speculation, and what are they going for with Will's storyline anyway? It seems like Vol. 2 will be required for any certainty to be reached. Mutual Byler is absolutely still possible.

But I would caution any readers not to get OVERLY attached to mutual Byler if only so they don't get hurt. It's totally possible that Mike's monologue in Vol. 2 will be to Eleven finally telling her he loves her. It's also possible people predicting Will will be threatened by Vecna are right and that will cause some change on Mike's part. There's still some hope, I just don't want to see people hurt is all. I used to think Stranger Things was above queerbaiting but I don't know anymore.

On a personal level I just want to see things done well, whatever route they go with things. But honestly the writing so far doesn't give me confidence even of that. We'll see...

Finally, I've seen some speculation that they won't give Will a label this season. I could see that, but ffs he is clearly into Mike, who cares if he's specifically gay or bi. His feelings towards Mike are 100% going to be made explicit, probably to Mike himself.

#stranger things #stranger things 4 #st4 #stranger things 4 spoilers #st4 spoilers #stranger things analysis #byler #plot holes

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emilykinncy · 2 years

Text

How I'm feeling right now as a Steve x Nancy shipper from the beginning

Literally never thought we'd get more content as a ship??? But now my hopes are up & I'm scared either they dangled this back in front of us for nothing or...even worse

Anyway I'm happy and also scared 🥲

#steve x nancy #stancy #also lmao how this whole time nancy & jonathan are still together??#was i still rooting for something to actually happen w steve? yup i sure was and what about it?#jonathan doesn't seem to even care about her anymore anyway?#idk i really don't get what the point of this storyline is if it's going to end up as 'but j*ncy was endgame all along' 🤨#and they better not be k*lling steve no ma'am don't u dare #stranger things spoilers

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just-someone-who-likes-to-write · 3 years

Note

hey luv, can i request some simple, domestic fluff with jonathan crane? like maybe jon having a casual heart attack from seeing reader in one of his shirts, trying their best to cook them both breakfast or feeding his crows, doesn't matter. i'm just in need of pure fluff with this rowdy stinkman garbage boy

Oh pure fluff, that's what I need now and seeing this request of our favorite but oh so terrible "God of Fear" made me determined to write it!!

Thank you for the request and I am sorry for taking so long to do it!

Being one of the most known and wanted Villains of Gotham can be stressful for to only Jonathan but to his beloved as well since the batman knows of his relationship with (Y/n). Whenever he escapes arkham the first person the Batman would interrogate was her, thinking that the scarecrow would go to her first, or that she might know of his hideout, which she doesn't since he never took her there to begin with, and because he is a "hero" he never took her into custody sense she never really participated in any of his schemes or his escapes. Of course, he could have taken her for not reporting him whenever he was in her home, or going out on dates, but again he was a "Hero" who never harm civilians.

That was the only thing he was grateful to the batman for.

And despite his commitment to his life as the infamous Scarecrow, he had his other commitment to (Y/n) as Jonathan. It was difficult trying to balance between gasing the city and planning a romantic night for his hardworking Darling. So after escaping Arkham again and laying low for a few months until the batman was distracted with Joker again, to inform his henchman that he will take a couple of weeks off and they should do the same, with every few days one making sure that his lab wasn't burning.

He surprised (Y/n) with a getaway to out of Gotham to a Rural area, his childhood home to be exact. Despite is being a great mansion that has been past to generations Jonathan loathed the place but seeing how it has a lot of space and no-one dares to come near it of fear it being hunted, he renewed the home from the inside so he can use as a second area to escape to, in case Gotham no longer was safe for him, but now with his Darling that place became their home. So after making some adjustments he brought his (Y/n) to their now second home.

It was heaven for him, waking up and sleeping together, being in the same table in all three meals, and engaging into cute couple activities that he only saw on TV or read in books. It was really tempting to just forget his career in gothem and start a new just for the sake of experiencing this bless everyday for the rest pf his life.. But he knew it was impossible, so he wanted to enjoy these few days as long as possible.

Jonathan was forced awake when the sun light that seeped from between the heavy curtains assaulted his eyes. He groaned and turned around stretching his arm to your side in order to cuddle you until noon, but his brows furrowed when he was met with an empty cold space. He forced one of his eyes open and saw that you were no where to be seen. He knew that there was no reason to stay in bed if you weren't there with him, and so he stretched his limps before standing up and picking up his clothes that was discarded on the ground from your... Previous night "intimate activities", just the thought of it made grin like an idiot. He paused when realizing that his white dress shirt or missing, maybe it was somewhere in the halls, lost in your moment of passion no doubt so he shrugged it off believing that you wouldn't mind him walking around with only his pants.

"Now, where could you be?" He asked himself as he looked at your empty side. He didn't need to think more for his answer came in the form of wood cracking lightly from above him. "There you are."

He walked out of the room and made his way through the halls to the stairs that lead to the attic, which was quite spacious so he made it into a special room for his pet crows. He remembers the time he introduced (Y/n) to them, she was quite scared at first, which was very adorable to him, but with time the fear turned to simple nervousness and from that to adoration, which was some time troublesome because he doesn't seem to be able to keep her away from there, always wanting to feed and pet those dark creatures. Finally reaching the attic's door Jonathan had this mischievous thought of scaring you, the attic was mostly dark having only one big window that allows that sun light, many pillars he could hide behind without you directing him, I mean he did that many times with the batman and he was only able to catch glimpse of him, so he doubted that you would be able to even know he was around, confident with his plan he opened the door slowly and carefully to it won't make as much as a creak as he sneaked in. However, the entire plan was thrown at the window when he finally saw.

You stood there legs and feet bare, your hair a mess not brushing it after waking up probably, the only item covering you was his missing white dress shirt which was too big on you. Jonathan's eyes where wide in both shock and fascination, he could feel his heart hammer against his rib cage as you giggled from of of the crows feathers tickling you cheek. He must have made a sound some how for you turned around to look directly at him, and caused his heart ache to rise, for the top buttons were undone which showed a generous amount of you cleavage, and with the sun light bathing you, you literally shined in his. Poor Jonathan wanted nothing more than to fall on his knees for you.

"Jonathan." You called breaking him out of his train of thoughts.

You came towards him causing the crows around you to fly away to their nests. You had such a look of concern as you came closer.

"Hey, are you alright?" You asked as you titled your head to the side.

No able to hold it back anymore, Jonathan wrapped his arms around you bringing you closer to him, his nose buried further in the crook of your neck and his hummed in content when he felt your own arma wrap around him as you pressed yourself further against his body. You stood like that for what felt like hours, before you had to pry yourself away from him enough to look to his face.

"Someone woke up in a good mood." You stated with a smile that he returned.

"I did." He replied not letting you go, no that you tried anyway.

"And may I ask what is the reason professor?" You asked sounding intrigued.

The two of you started swaying with each other, until it looked like you were slow dancing to no music.

"Oh my dear it is a simple reason really." He said with a spin and he took you hand into his, his other hand resting on your waist while your own was on his bare shoulder.

"Is it now?" You continued to ask earning a him of approval from him.

He slowly stopped your small dance before taking your hand and kissed it tenderly but didn't pull it away from his lips enjoying the feeling of your skin.

"The reason my dear... Is because I seem to find myself smitten by you all over again." He confessed.

He could see a soft blush starting to show on your cheeks, embarrassed by his words, but you didn't allow it to show.

"Are you know?"

"Oh yes." He quickly said. "You fill my every thought even more than before, every minute I spend away from you feels like hours and the hours like days and the days to weeks and so on so forth."

"Then I guess nights spend scheming were terrible for you?" You asked enjoying his words and craving for more.

"Tormenting!" He almost exclaimed as the hand around your waist brought you close again." And the nights locked up at Arkham were agonizing."

"I did offer to visit you." You reminded.

"And risk the batman lurking over you even more or the cops sniffing after you?.. Never! I'd rather spent a thousand night and a day alone with the blissful thought that you were safe rather than drage you down with me."

He declared and you knew he was sincere. You pulled your hand away from his body only to bring them again to cups his face.

"Then what about me?" You asked with a pout. "I can't stand living those thousand night and a day knowing where you are but can't reach you. I'd probably go mad!"

You said as you dropped backwards dramatically but he caught you with a chuckle bringing up again to meet his blue eyes.

"You would go mad without me?" He asked with a grin.

"Of course." You answered with mot hesitation. "You aren't the only one smitten badly here, how do you think I felt when you same here all shirtless and messy?"

He raised a brow at your words the grin never leaving.

"You like that I look like a mess now?" He asked in a fake bewilderment.

"Well, yes, after all, everyone knows the uptight, serious and organized professor crame, but only I get to see the hot mess of a man Jonathan Crane." You said with a giggle.

Not able to resist anymore, with his arms still locked around you, Jonathan pulled you close to him as he leaned down to press his lips against your own and you kissed him back. The rest of your world was lost against his lips. The kiss was gentle and careful but it wasn't enough, greedy for more you sneaked your arms around his neck before running your fingers through his hair and gently clenching it as you pulled him harder against you. He groaned softly, low in his throat, and then his arms circled under you back gathering you against him and from the ground, causing you to let out a surprised yelp, breaking the kiss. You'd always be surprised at how truely strong Jonathan can be. You looked back to him, your eyes lost into his blue ones, you were about to lean down to continue the kiss but the moment was interrupted by your stomach growls.

You were suprised by the loud sound and because your eyes were locked on Crane's, you saw the exact moment his eyes slightly widened at the sound as well. Embarrassed and having no where to hide you buried your face against the crook of his neck. Your lover just laughed as he rubbed your back in comfort, finding the situation funny, his laughter eventually died down, but the grin was still there.

"How about we go to the kitchen for breakfast, and then... " he pressed his lips against your ears. "We can continue this after."

Lifting your head slowly to meet his eyes, you saw that the lust was still there and he could have just ignored your what he heard and continued to slam you against one of the wooden pillars so your moment of passion was not gone, but to him your needs are a priority... including food. So he slowly put you back down and with your arms locked together you made your way to the kitchen.

Yes, jonathan had some awful memories in this house, but with his darling new memories were made as the old once are being forgotten.

---

I hope you enjoyed this fic and that you don't mind the bit of spice in the end.

#jonathan crane x reader #Scarecrow x Reader #jonathan crane imagine

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violentvaleska · 3 years

Text

Character Analyse

Jerome Valeska and Jonathan Crane

Fandoms: Gotham, Batman (Nolan Verse)

ⁱ ᶜʰᵒᵒˢᵉᵈ ᵗʰᵉᵐ ᵗᵒ ˢʰᵒʷ ʰᵒʷ ᵃⁿ ᵃⁿᵗⁱ-ˢᵒᶜⁱᵃˡ ᵖᵉʳˢᵒⁿᵃˡⁱᵗʸ ᵈⁱˢᵒʳᵈᵉʳ ᶜᵃⁿ ᵈⁱᶠᶠᵉʳ ᵇᵉᵗʷᵉᵉⁿ ᵗʷᵒ ᶜʰᵃʳᵃᶜᵗᵉʳˢ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᶜᵃⁿ'ᵗ ᵇᵉ ᵐᵒʳᵉ ᵈⁱᶠᶠᵉʳᵉⁿᵗ ʷʰⁱˡᵉ ᵗʰᵉʸ ˢʰᵃʳᵉ ᵃ ˢⁱᵐⁱˡᵃʳ ᵖᵃˢᵗ

Jerome Valeska

Character: Impulsive, charming, aggressive, manipulative, extroverted, creativ, selfish, funny, entertaining, mood changes, crazy, joyfull, arnachistic

Disease: probably anti-social personality disorder (aspd= sociopath) and past childhood trauma (abuse)

Past: The abuse of his mother, her brother and lovers changed Jerome and made his childhood unbearable. Even his twin brother turned against him. Jerome was beaten every day, he was told how useless he is. At some point it damaged him so badly, he just snapped. He killed his mother and finally felt free. He didn't had to hide anymore, he didn't had to act like an innocent boy anymore. Jerome build his own persona and played his part well. He certainly was not sweet and caring, it was just an act. But keep in mind that Jerome wasn't born bad, he was raced into something bad.

Coping mechanism: Jeromes coping mechanism is probably laughing. It looks painfull and forced at times even. It has different sounds (sad, happy, bubbly, angry, nervous, irritating, arrogant...) Drama and overplaying from situations are potential coping mechanisms as well.

Appearance: Jerome is always laughing/ grinning/ smiling. Mostly known for his ginger hair and scars. Jerome was a really handsome young men, later in the show his appearance matched his damaged personality (in a good way). He wears tailored fancy suits or leather strait jackets that fits his craziness. Jerome seems to be dominating, sadistic and masochistic, even acts flirty and with a certain sex appeal to intimidate people. He acted really sexual in front of Leslie Thompkins and Sarah Essen for example. He is rather tall (6'0) and athletic build.

Actor: Cameron Monaghan, 27, us-american

ᶜʳᵉᵈⁱᵗ ʲᵉʳᵒᵐᵉᵛᵃˡᵉˢᵏᵃˢᶠᵃᶜᵉ

Doctor Jonathan Crane

Character: arrogant, calm, selfish, cold, rather introverted, a little intimidating, loyal, perfectionist, cold hearted, provoking, intellectual, manipulating

Disease: anti-social personality disorder (aspd=sociopath), hints of a dissociative personality disorder (did), probably a childhood trauma, paranoia

Past: We don't know anything about his past, we don't know how he met Ras al Guhl or Falcone. But in the comics Jonathan Crane was left by his parents and abused by his grandmother. He was bullied by his class mates. Those factors may have caused an anti-social personality disorder (It is kind of proven that he is a sociopath anyway) and maybe a dissociative personality disorder. I'm not sure about that, but it is kind of hinted in Batman begins. Which leads us to the next point...

Coping Mechanism: He probably gets triggered easily which was seen in Batman begins when he got a taste of his own medicine. I think that he has some form of DID. Think about it, he wasn't able to cope with his fears so another personality or so called alter took over to protect him and his mind. Why else would he say all of a sudden:

"Doctor Crane isn't here right know. But if you'd like to make an appointment-"

He is obsessing over fear because he wants people to feel what he felt as a child everyday. That's why he experiments with them and make them live through there worst nightmares.

Appearance: Intense blue eyes and raven black hair and a sharp jawline. He seems intimidating at times, cold and arrogant but allows himself to smile at times. He has an small to average high and is rather slim. Jonathan often wears glasses and a suit. He seems to take care of his appearance and is most likely professional. His eyes are probably the most recognisable thing about him. He uses his mind and intelect to manipulate with an intelligent choose of words and a calm behaviour. He doesn't really show how angry he really is.

Actor: Cillian Murphy, 44, Irish

ᵍⁱᶠ ⁱˢ ᵐⁱⁿᵉ

I hope you liked it :) What do you guys think @valeskakingdom @valeskaduh? You two are more professional with character analyses then I am haha

#gotham #jerome valeska #cameronmonaghan #dc #batman begins #jonathan crane #cillian murphy #character analysis #theories #dc theories #sociopath #did #i hope this is accurate #I've done my research #this is my opinion

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judgement-free-sideblog · 5 years

Text

Blood, tears and sea breeze.

Warnings: ANGST, mental health issues, graphic depictions of violence, blood, cursing, mentions of sexual assault, mentions of sex, substance abuse.

Summary: The not so peaceful town of Broadchurch face dead again, while Alec Hardy continues his journey to redemption will this school teacher be the key to solve the mystery or just another victim of the ever watching evilness that seems to reside in the town.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 5: Walls made of love

The diaries started as a joke, and Alec Could see Y/N was not taking her assignment seriously, he could even imagine Dr. Florence exasperated expression reading them, as much as he remembered the way she looked at him when talked about his own dreams. But every now and then there was some real opinion about her life.

Monday, April 8, 2019

08:00 am. I get to school and I didn't take breakfast, I had a boring morning, as boring as this bloody activity. Sorry doc, but you clearly fail on this one.

10:00 am That was rude I know, but what else you want me to tell, I had a boring lunch and I have a call from Jonathan's mother, I get it the ring was important and I know how much she doesn't me to take away her son, she doesn't have to be that bitchy about it.

By the time he reach the last five days he listened to the tape as he was reading, there were just little more details about what she ate, barely anything, and the people she talk around the day. One detail call his attention, apparently Paul was indulgent enough to let her drive for brief moments in straight lines, and Hardy was not sure if it was relevant for the case or not.

Then he finally found the recollection of the night she went out drinking with Ashley, she usually put on hours before writing so the doctor would follow better her descriptions.

2:30 - I just came home and took a shower, I'm sorry Doc, you will be receiving this one way late than usual, and please don't worry, I went for drinks with Ash as I told you yesterday I would, do you actually read this? I would hate to imagine a woman like you sitting at home alone waiting for my poor written crap. Anyway, I'll tell you a secret I didn't drink today, we were at the club at 10 but stupid Jonathan called me to tell me that I shouldn't be going out with, I told him where he could put his opinion, but I listen and took only mocktails, Ash didn't notice I think, she was so funk I even drove back, thankfully the streets were empty, I hope she didn't eat me out with Jonathan, and I will apologize to him lateer in the morning, I will tell him: I can't wait to be doing this for the rest of our lives.

I haven't told hin about your plann of putting me on medication, I will surprise him with it when he gets back, that would definitely make him happy.

"Hardy, Paul Coates is here, he wants to talk to you" One of the agents said and he immediately pull the papers behind some other files, they felt like something private not sure why.

"Sure, tell him I'll be out in a minute" He said and once he was away he move to close the blinds and the door of his office.

But if I'm completely honest I'm not sure if he actually wants me to get bettr or just wants me to be what he wants, as you said we all put on walls, and as I tried to move on from mine and from the memory of parents stopping me from getting out of Broadchurch I let Jonathan trapped me in litral walls in our huse, and the walls made of love that I built to keep me from telling him that I want to drive, that I need to work, that I'm capable, anyway have a nice night or morning or whatever time is you are reading this, I'll send you the next entry tomorrow.

Alec checked the time when Dr Florence received the document 2:53 am, so a few minutes after she wrote it, wich was obvious since it had several misspellings and missing letters.

He had already checked the traffic cameras around her home and all her movements checked out, there at 1:52 am just a few miles before the dirty road to her cottage he identified the car that should belong to Langford, and then the same car leaving at 2:05 however the first time he didn't notice that she was the one driving, and then Ashley driving back, apart from that her story checked out.

He stood up and walk to a waiting room where Paul was sitted , he respected the reverend but sometimes his good intentions could be too much.

"DI Hardy" He said always polite standing up to shake his hand "I'm sorry to bother you but is about Y/N"

"Do you have new information about the case?" Hardy said dryly, and sitedin front of him "I believe Miller already talked to you this morning, and I don't have more to say apart from that"

"No, I already say everything I know, is just I figured since Y/N is not going to be able to go back to his place because of ... the investigation and that" he frowned thinking about Jonathan's body "I thought maybe she could stay at the church, we always have a spare room and well since her family is not around I figured ..."

"How did you know she is getting free?" Alec interrupted him.

"Well I don't think she is responsible for anything" He started clearly surprised that he questioned that.

"Ah, you think you can do my job better than me?" Hardy said, clearly about to loose his temper.

"I just think, or at least I like to think I'm better at knowing people" Paul was more serious, and Hardy was shock by that, maybe it was the years of tragedy he had face with the town, or maybe it was something more personal.

"Oddly how things turn out isn't it? The fiance is gone, and now she goes back to you, and you even want her to live with you. And you are no longer with Becca do you? All seems way too convenient don't you think?" He said looking for something in the priest face, but there was only indignation.

"What are you suggesting? Really? You are going to questioning me?" He said and Hardy just remained silent with her arms crossed "Fine if I you need to know, and I'm surprised Ellie hasn't told you yet, I know her ages ago, her, Ashley we went to school together, and we were together for about one year, I don't know she was 26 at the time. And we broke up because I was busy with the church and we have been friends since then." He said quickly and Alec nodded.

"And you were friends with Norbury?" Alec asked not sure on why he wanted to know.

"I introduced them, a few weeks after he move here he began helping me at the church, and she often volunteers to watch the trouble makers, she must have watch Tom and Danny a couple times back in those days" a shadow of sorrow crossed his face remembering the young kid, something that happened often in broadchurch "I actually forgot to tell something to Ellie" He said remembering suddenly "I don't think is relevant but anyway, I am I meet Jonathan at a AA meeting, and that's why he started helping at the church. He had troubles with drinking at London that's why he came here."

"Did he ever relapse?" Alec ask suddenly with all his alarms on "Like recently?"

"Not that I know, he didn't want Y/N to know about it, and I ask him to talk to her before the wedding, I'm not sure if he did" The sad look was back now for his lost friend.

"She'll be out in fifty" Alec said standing up, and walking towards the door "You can wait for her here"

"What? Oh thanks, she has been trough a lot already, I hope I can help her out on this at least."

"You said her family is not around, what ever happened to them?" He said suddenly stopping at the door.

"They died, in a car accident ten years ago, she was about to leave town, she was not living with them anymore, she was the youngest and they care for her a lot, but after that she felt guilty I guess, she started coming more to church and her problem got worse for a few weeks, I hope that doesn't happen again".

"Sure" Hardy said and walked fast to the interrogation room where Y/N have spent the night. He found her sitted in the same place, and she had clearly been crying, he felt sorry for her, but he had to get things clear first.

"You lied to us" He started siting in front of her. "You drove home on Friday morning out of the bar" She only nodded and took a sip of the water bottle she hasn't touched yet.

"I'm sorry" Y/N said with a throaty voice "I did, I know I'm not supposed to but I actually can drive very well, and I haven't drink that night it, I thought it was safer if I take the wheel than Ash, but she was stubborn enough to drive back herself"

"Any particular reason on why you don't drink?" He asked not giving it much importance.

"I really don't like it that much, and it worsens my anxiety, so I may take a glass of wine here and there, I think that's why I blacked out so long two weeks ago I did drink a few more shots than my usual three" she said putting her hair behind her ear "He was in AA" She said biting her nails "Or at least I think he was, someone left a voice message about changing the hour for the meeting" She face Hardy with red eyes but she didn't cried, not anymore.

"Do you ever saw him drinking?" He asked and his mind was still in the coroner report trying to remember what he said about the content of the stomach.

"No, also he always had "Boy's night" with Paul on the day I knew he had his AA meetings, is weird how any of them thought I will figure it out" She had a sad smile on her face "I always thought he was a terrible liar because of it"

"You can leave, reverend Coats, amm Paul is waiting for you" She gave him a surprise look.

"Why is Paul here?" She asked then putting up her hands so he could uncuffed her.

"You can't go to your own place, we are still looking for evidence there" Alec said avoiding her gaze.

"Detective Hardy, do you believe me?" She asked caressing her wrist, they felt numb after all that time.

"Is there a reason I shouldn't?" He asked looking at her straight in the eyes.

"No, but earlier it felt like you thought it was me" She said.

"I don't have to believe you or not, I make questions and I follow evidence, and evidence doesn't suggest you did it" He avoided answer her directly.

"Then can I ask you a favor?" She said standing up. "When you find who did this to us, and I have faith in you to do it, if is someone I know, please don't tell me" Her voice was low and almost imperceptible and he had to bend over the table to listen better.

"Why?" He asked in a whisper almost as quiet as hers.

"Because I would hate them, and I would want to kill them, and I don't want to be that kind of person" She said and he could see the fear and sorrow in her eyes, and felt grateful that another officer entered to take her way from him. He went back to his office trying to forget that look when Miller walked in.

"Did you let her go? Paul told me on the way out she would stay at the church, that seems fine for now" She said looking at him but he was apparently not listening. "Ready to go see his apartment?"

"What does the coroner said about his stomach?" He asked suddenly leaning back on his chair.

"Vodka? Whiskey? Some sort of alcohol, why?" She asked curious.

"Yeah, something like that, come on Miller we can't lost more time" There he is, Miller smile when he put on his coat again and start walking outside. "By the way, I haven't told you this" He turned at her with a odd expression in his face "I am in therapy with Dr. Florence, I have been there for a few months now, is not important, I just thought you should know" He nodded and kept walking.

"Ok, sure, fine. That's great" Miller said against her impulse of asking more, she was glad he shared that of course, but she knew how hard must have been for him to admit it. "Anyway Becca Fisher owns the apartment where Norbury lived, she gave me the key"

They walked out and Alec started telling her about Jonathan's problem with alcohol, and a few other details he learned that morning but leaving out all about the diaries. He was sure as much as Ellie that Y/N was innocent but that only made things more complicated and he was hoping for a new lead to appear at the apartment, Please don't tell me her voice resonated in his mind and when he closed his eyes he could see her face. This was getting more and more difficult every minute.

I wasn't sure if people was actually reading this, but I'm glad they are, so if you want to be in the tag list just say so and I would gladly add you.

@allonsymexgirl

#broadchurch fic #broadchurch #broadchurch fanfiction #detective inspector alec hardy #di hardy #ds miller #alec hardy x ellie miller #ellie miller #alec hardy #alec hardy x reader #paul coates #alec hardy imagine #alec hardy fanfiction #david tennat #crime drama #crime scene #crime / law / justice #romance #angst

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somuchbetterthanthat · 5 years

Note

You spoke so beautifully about Jon and Georgie earlier, but I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on Martin and Georgie friendship. Obviously them striking up a friendship while both watching over Jon during his coma. But also, imagine Georgie is the only person Martin talks to during his self imposed isolation. She's not involved, so he can talk to her. She's not afraid, so she doesn't want to stop talking to him. She worries about Jon, and he can tell her at least a little about how he's doing.

Mmmh, gosh. This is so hard, because while I love to gush about Jon and Georgie, and Jon and Martin, I feel like…. I’ve got a really hard time with Martin and Georgie? Probably because…deep down… i have to admit… that i’m Bad At MartinTM. He’s too good and complex for my poor mind.

BUT. Here are a few thoughts anyway; I think Martin is painfully jealous of Georgie Barker for - the whole of season 3, really; but it’s not exactly in the same way he gets petty and protective of Jon like Basira and Melanie discuss in their office gossip; it’s more of a this woman is absurdely cool, and Jon live(d) with her, and he obviously loves her a lot and I am not cool like that, and could she TUNE IT DOWN A NOTCH PLEASE, some of us had still vague hope to ever get Jonathan Sims’ love and appreciation without being reminded of what people they might actually fall for and little chances they have considering it.

Except, after everything - after the Unknowing, Jon is still in an hospital bed, dead-except-not, and Martin comes in feeling weak and numb and hopeful, still, he’s got to be hopeful, because Tim’s dead but Jon’s special, so Jon’s got to wake up - and there is Georgina Barker there, not even holding Jon’s hand, just, staring with such deep sadness, and Martin’s heart falls into his stomach somewhere and he starts to stammer weak apologies but Georgie looks up, stares at him for a moment and then she goes: “Oh. You’re Martin, right?”

And that small little sentence stops Martin to ever feel jealous of Georgie Barker ever again, even after the first emotional tearful night, or anything; because Georgie is like “I mean, there’s only one person Jon rarely shuts up about, so -”

(Me: “i don’t know about Martin and Georgie” Me, several endless paragraphs later: ……um. Under the cut i guess.)

I don’t know how their friendship go though; I think it stands from the fact there the only two people who regularly come to see Jon; Martin can’t speak at all of his grief and his longing at work, and Georgie - Georgie loves Jon. She sees Jon like Martin does - yes, he can be an ass, but he’s also… there’s a kindness to him, such warmth and deep care, underneath the prickeness and stiffness, and Martin got a bit better, during season 3, understanding Jon’s jokes, and he’s so knowledgeable and he’s so bad at caring for himself, and when he likes you it feels like you’ve earnt something special and precious and - point is, it feels good, to talk to Georgie.

And yes, first, their conversations are mostly about Jon; but Martin is very good at paying attention to people and small talk, so they start to stray to Georgie’s podcast, and her family, and her favourite foods (”hungarian food is great” says martin earnestly, and georgie goes “oh my god, of course i find the ideal man and he’s gay for my best friend” and martin blushes adorably and sputters and laughs). They most certainly bond over the Admiral. And Georgie is a good judge of character, too, and she’s got definite social skills; she gets Martin to open up a bit about his job, grumbling about his colleagues, admitting that it’s so hard to just - be hopeful when everybody else is always so - so ready to dive into unhealthy patterns without talking to each other. At some point, Martin makes an idle remark about his struggles with money when he was younger, with his mum, and Georgie goes ‘god, that’s a mood’ and opens up a bit with her own childhood and the lack of money.

They also always sort of meet up at the hospital, at first, but one night a nurse comes to tell them it’s time to leave, and Georgie stares at Martin and she says: “wanna come eat at mine’s? it seems silly to just stop chatting, i’m having fun. and i’ve got good food at home, promise.” and Martin is so baffled but also so - pleased? and he goes “yeah. Yeah, that’d be nice, uh - thank you?” and eventually that becomes an habit, too; Martin coming to spend a few evenings at Georgie’s; he cooks sometimes (”god, i got better because - well, there were worms you see -”), and he and georgie even work together on a What The Ghost’s episode one day;

Those moments at Georgie’s they’re - they’re sort of the only good things going for Martin, at this point; back at the Institute, Melanie is constantly angry, and Basira is constantly away - even when she’s physically present - and the corridors seem filled with the ghosts of a grinning Sasha, a laughing Tim, and a pricky but amused Jon. Every day, Peter Lukas comes, sits on his desk like he belongs there, and chats for a bit; then his eyes get serious and he’ll always lean in and go: “Have you considered my offer, Martin?”

(Martin does not talk to Georgie about that)

Then the Flesh attacks, and Martin has to put a plan in action, he’s done waiting, he’s done running, he’s done - he’s done expecting Jon to wake up and make it all better. Jon is probably not going to wake up. It’s. He doesn’t think about that. It takes two weeks for Georgie to call and say “I haven’t seen you at the hospital in a while” in a careful, worried, stern voice. “I’m going to get very busy, Georgie, I’m - probably not going to have much time anymore to visit Jon.” he says, and his voice cracks a bit) (”Come by tonight,” she tells him. he looks at his hand, eyes blurry, and he doesn’t want to give up that, he doesn’t want to give up Georgie and her warm smiles and her cool stories and her underlying, deep understanding of what he feels but - “Maybe, maybe next week” he tells her weakly. “Sorry, Georgie”)

(Georgie doesn’t say how much that hurts, really. She likes Martin; she likes the way Martin is genuinely interested in her life, not just through Jon; she likes how Martin loves Jon; she likes Martin’s little jokes and his determination for things to get better, always) (she does tell Jon, softly: “well i hope you never have to live that. Easy to get attached to that boy, uh?” and jon, of course, doesn’t answer. she sighs and kisses his forehead and leaves, and mopes that night with the admiral. The next day, she thinks “no, i’m not falling into that pattern” and goes back to her life, and her other friends; She’s not as hopeful as Martin, but she’s definitely as stubborn)

(Martin calls though; he calls again, because he doesn’t know who to tell, when his mum dies) (he’s back at her place that night and he feels numb, and he doesn’t cry; he looks deathly pale, and Georgie helps him through the following days, and vaguely remembers helping Jon with his grandmother’s funeral, the way he hadn’t cried either, for a long time, just got very snippy and distant; god, it was towards the end of their relationship - she’d argued with him, at some point, that he needed to cry, and he’d said he didn’t NEED to do anything, and he was sorry if she didn’t like how he handled his grief - and she’d been like “i’m just worried about you jon” and jon’s shoulders had slumped and he’d gone “there’s no point to it”)

(Martin doesn’t cry, he doesn’t, right until all those people talk about his mum and he realizes he doesn’t know the woman they speak of; he’ll never know this woman) (Georgie takes his hand when he starts weeping, and lets Martin’s distant family tell her that they’re really rather relieved, that Martin found ‘a nice girl’, that they thought - that Martin was, well, you know - because she wants to snap at them but it’s not drama that Martin needs right now, just comfort)

After that, Martin thinks he can’t let go of Georgie; she’s done too much for him, at this point? So, he tries to be as honest as he can; he tells her he’s got a plan, to protect the Archives (”it shouldn’t be your role” georgie tells him with a deep concerned frown, and Martin shrugs and says: “But Jon’s not here and - someone ought to. Someone ought to protect them. I - I’m not special, Georgie, but that’s - that’s something I can do, and I don’t want to be a coward.”)

He says “I can’t come by anymore” and “thank you” and, hopefully “we can still chat on the phone?” and Georgie says “… sure.”

And they do that! They keep chatting! when Martin starts to get wary of Peter listening in, he switches to texting only.

then jon wakes up

and. ugh. Ugh. I’m sorry, I’m going to keep making this sad, but Georgie and Martin have their first argument; because Martin can’t be there for Jon right now, but it’s because he’s - he’s protecting him, saving him. He’d give ANYTHING to be able to be there for Jon. and Georgie could. Georgie has not made a supernatural deal with a dangerous man serving a Eldrich God, and Jon needs someone, and Georgie gets fed up; she’s been supporting Jon. She’s been supporting Martin; she’s supported them both through their idiotic decisions and Jon woke up, yes, but he’s fine and unblinking and his aura’s all - different and she can’t do this. She can’t. She can’t let herself be involved anymore, she’s tired and who can she talk to? Who’s supporting her? (”it’s admirable,” she says, sadly, to Martin, “how selfless you both are. It’s terrible too, you know? You could both have stood to be a little bit more selfish. Perhaps you could have both - I love you both, Martin, but I’m ready to be a little selfish now; I need to get out, because otherwise, I’m gonna drown with both of you.”)

(”Georgie -” he begins and she sighs and says. “Goodbye, Martin. Take care. Text me, if you need to.” and she hangs up)

#warning: this is probably not the cute heartwarming friendship story people were hoping for #I MADE MYSELF VERY SAD #the magnus archives #............. i feel really bad now you wanted cute supportive friends #for what it's worth i definitely have a few aus stories where jon and georgie and martin end up living together in a qp relationship #well it's not platonic for martin and jon #i also have just a lot of headcanons - even without speaking of a proper relationship - where martin and georgie team up on jon #/so that he takes care of himself/ they're very stubborn both of them and jon is very very weak for them both #also just georgie and martin are just both two people who are GOOD at social interactions and chatting and stuff

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