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itisaterriblelove · 3 months

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I WAS SO NERVOUS that I could taste my own heartbeat. Gavin Porter was not asleep, and I had been aware of this for a handful of seconds that were collecting like lifetimes. I don’t know how I knew it for sure, I just… knew. Maybe it was in the tension I could feel radiating through every part of him that was connected to me.

That was a lot of parts.

I wasn’t hungover, not even a little bit, even though I knew by all rights that I should have been. I’d done much too much drinking the night before, and I’d said much too much afterwards as a result. I was still kind of surprised that Gavin and I had even gotten into a fight at all.

I hated fighting, and he hated it even more than I did. Usually when we were mad at each other, we both just kind of bit our tongues and passive aggressively referenced it until we were over whatever the problem was. Not entirely healthy, I knew, but it worked for us.

And I probably should have felt guilty for trying to make Gavin feel guilty about spending time with his girlfriend. Probably. But I couldn’t because if I hadn’t gotten roaring drunk the night before then I wouldn’t have been waking up in Gavin’s bed, wrapped up in his arms. Plus, he’d even apologized for ditching me. And I’d definitely needed that apology from him.

But, see, here was the situation: A very awake Gavin Porter had me spooned in his arms, his hands on the bare skin of my stomach, slipped underneath the t-shirt he’d given me to wear to bed. There just wasn’t enough room between us for him to deny his very obvious reaction to being pressed this close to me.

I tried not to let it get to me—I really did—because I understood the basic biology of boys and the concept of morning wood, okay. And it wasn’t like Gavin and I hadn’t ever found ourselves in this kind of position before… We’d been friends for too long and too absolutely not to have been here once or twice in the past.

I wasn’t a girl with low self-esteem, who couldn’t believe that a boy could be turned on by her. I knew I was hot, and I even knew that Gavin Porter thought that I was hot. He’d never denied it. But see, this was the thing… Gavin was awake and he hadn’t moved his hands.

At least, not yet. And I wanted to enjoy every single second of it while it lasted.

It was usually at this point in the routine that Gavin would roll away from me, put some space between us, and pretend like this little bit of awkwardness hadn’t happened.

He had to be able to feel the way my heartbeat was slamming against my chest. My back had to be practically vibrating with it. He should have moved—should have changed the subject. What he did instead was curl his fingers against the bare skin of my stomach and bury his face in my neck, so that all of my skin erupted in goosebumps and all my thoughts scattered.

I couldn’t breathe.

I couldn’t think past the idea of turning around, of sliding my leg between his legs, of pressing closer and closer until there was no closer. Oh my God, I wanted to kiss him so very badly. I wanted to turn around and melt into his arms and kiss him, just to know what he tasted like. Just to know what he felt like with his mouth against my mouth and his hands on my skin. Just to live in it, for just one moment. This perfect moment. I wanted to kiss him until the world slipped away. And I felt about ninety-nine percent sure that he would not only let me, but that he would actually kiss me back.

It was surreal in this freeing, kind of electrifying way. After weeks and weeks, and months, and years of waiting for Gavin Porter to finally open his eyes and see me…

I just couldn’t believe it was finally happening, and I didn’t trust it.

“Do you want a pain pill?” His voice was soft, sleep dragged, kind of lazy. It was the best morning sound in the entire universe, and I had always appreciated it. But this morning it seemed to sound better to me than it ever had. Probably because the words came out practically against my skin, all of his breath dancing down my neck as he spoke.

Sweet baby Jesus.

My stomach clenched, and I was almost scared to answer him. Like if he knew that I was awake too, then he would become the Gavin that I was used to again. The one completely oblivious to the fact that we had definite chemistry.

“Elle?” He moved his hands, trailing them against my skin until the one underneath me was free and the one on top of me was against my hip. The shorts I had on were a thin barrier and every single piece of me that he touched was aflame. I pushed out a slow breath, slowly peeling my eyes open.

This was not a dream.

I turned around until we were facing each other, and Gavin adjusted, his head still dropped lazily against his pillow. He lifted his hand to brush my hair from my face, his fingers trailed my jaw and my heartbeat shuddered. “Do you have a headache?”

I didn’t even mind his morning breath—I was that far gone.

I blinked, coming back down to reality, understanding slowly filtering through for me. His face was a little tenser than I was used to, but that could have been for any reason in the world. It could have been because he was still mad at me for getting drunk the night before, or because I’d yelled at him, or even because he’d yelled back at me.

It could also be because he wanted to kiss me just as badly as I wanted him to… It was hard to tell, and there was just no tactful way to ask!

The logical conclusion was that I was imagining it, of course. Because if you wanted something bad enough then it was easy to trick yourself into believing you could have it. And last night had been emotional for both of us.

The logical conclusion was that nothing had even changed at all. I knew that. And it just seemed all the more true when Gavin just kept laying there, looking at me, waiting for me to say something with an increasingly concerned expression on his face.

I sighed, careful to keep my own morning breath aimed away from him, and shook my head against his pillows. “No. I’m good.” And then I turned on my back to hide my disappointed expression from his searching eyes, because explaining myself was the absolute last thing I wanted to do right now. And Gavin always asked me what was wrong, every time that I frowned.

But—darn it!—I hadn’t imagined his hands. I hadn’t imagined the feel of his face as he nuzzled against my neck. And I knew perfectly well he’d been awake when he did it.

I sighed again. “I need to get up, anyway.” I rubbed a hand over my face, trying not to feed into the annoyance that I was starting to feel all over again. What had I even been thinking? As if this morning suddenly everything was completely different? That didn’t make any sense!

There was still a Tyler McClain, and I was still not her.

But Gavin groaned and reached, his arms encircling me once again. “Skip it.” He was whining, which was so typical of him at the mention of getting out of bed during the am hours that it really did feel like the status quo.

Maybe it was part of his idea of what a rockstar was supposed to do with their life? Sleep all day, party all night kind of thing.

I tried to shake out of his hold, but he wasn’t having it.

“You’re allowed to skip a class, Elle,” he complained, and his face found the curve of my neck again and settled there. “Shouldn’t you be hungover?” He said it like a complaint, and I didn’t manage to fight the giggle in response before it fell from my lips.

“I’m not.” I tried to wiggle away again, but he squeezed his hand on my hip and groaned.

“Please fucking stop that.”

All the tension in my body regrouped, goosebumps resurfacing, flames reigniting. I narrowed my eyes, the annoyance growing. “It’s too early in the morning for fuck, Gavin.” He sucked in a sharp breath of air, and I stilled. Because that time it hadn’t been intentional, but there it was, hanging between us. His very unconventional response to girls who said bad words.

“Ah, fuck.” This time I thought he’d let me go, and get out of bed. And then we’d pretend this had never happened. But he didn’t. He kept his hand above the t-shirt, but still on me as he mumbled, “I think you’re trying to kill me.”

And I felt like all the air was being sucked out of the room again. My stomach clenched. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” But my voice was much too breathless to be convincing.

Gavin saw through it. He sucked his tongue against his teeth and said, “You fucking liar.” But there was no heat to it, just teasing, and he still didn’t let me go.

He yawned. “Let’s just sleep in, baby.”

It was a stupid, enabling thing for him to do. But he probably didn’t know that. I did, though, so I should have gotten the heck out of there. I knew that. I probably should have told him that this crossed some sort of invisible line in the sand of our friendship, and I couldn’t do it.

But my heart was vibrating with the need to just lay there with him. And I couldn’t stop myself from giving in. He was warm and comfortable and this bed smelled like him. And he was holding me like he wanted me, which made imagining impossible to resist. Besides, I’d never been very good at denying him anything. That was the entire problem.

#artists on tumblr #my art #my writing #forever girl #fg ch07 #elle x gavin #idk man #maybe gavin got jealous i looked at sam #rude #idk what else to tag so

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lazyjellyfish300 · 2 months

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The Woman He Didn't Choose Part 4 🥀

Bachelor!Miguel O'Hara x Fem! Contestant Reader

Synopsis: You're on the show Singles in Paradise with former Bachelor!Miguel and other Spider-Verse favs dealing with another contestant's interest in Miguel making you jealous while you're doing your best to move on with someone new at the same time. Word count 5.7k 🖤 s/o to @migueloharasoulmate for the inspiration and ideas behind this chapter, ily.

Part 1, Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 5

A/N: If you're unfamiliar with the show Bachelor in Paradise, here's a clip to give you an idea. Basically, it's another dating show usually in a tropical location where single people couple up, and new arrivals come in every so often and ask people on dates to shake things up, leading to drama and chaos, and couples can choose to stay together or break up in the end and there's typically an engagement. DISCLAIMER: I HAVE NO RIGHTS TO THE SHOWS THE BACHELOR OR BACHELOR IN PARADISE, ALL RIGHTS TO THE OWNERS. I CHANGED THE NAME OF THE SHOW IN THE STORY.

TW: MINORS DNI, ANGST, JEALOUSY, INSECURITY, FIGHTING, DRAMA, DANA IS MESSY, SEXUAL HARASSMENT: not too graphic (DANA DOESN'T UNDERSTAND CONSENT), MILD SMUT(BRIEF, MOSTLY SUGGESTIVE, JUST TOUCHING, DESCRIPTION OF ORAL SEX f receiving BUT NOT DETAILED), BETRAYAL, ACCIDENTAL PREGNANCY (SORRY, IT'S ALL FOR THE DRAMA), DRUNKENNESS, ALCOHOL

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That morning that Dana arrived

You desperately tried to divert your attention away from the sight of Dana and Miguel walking away together, arm in arm. You stood up, furiously trying to keep the tears that were building in your eyes at bay, pacing the room in a panicked circle until you decided to go find Felicia, cameraman in tow to your displeasure.

Dana was yapping Miguel's ear off as they sat down on some empty chairs by the pool. Miguel nodded his head, not letting a word she was saying funnel through, looking off occasionally to try and find you, when he finally spied you quickly across the resort, seeming to be in distress. His brow furrowed, craning his neck to try to see where you were running off to.

"Miggy?"

Miguel's eyes dart back to Dana and he clears his throat. "Sorry, go on..."

He tried to brush off his slight ick at her using his nickname. He didn't even know her like that. After all, she only lasted until week 3 on his season when woman after woman complained about her to him during their one-on- one times. His nickname sounded way better when you said it, anyway.

"I asked you on a date, silly!" Dana smiles waving the date card, batting her lashes.

Miguel manages a weak smile back at her. "I'm flattered...but to tell you the truth, I came here for someone else."

Dana's smile fades, trying to play off the fact that her ego was a little bruised. "Eheh...really?"

Miguel nods, looking down.

Dana tries to keep her tone sweet, but it's clear she's upset when she speaks again. "You're not still stuck on "what's-her-toes", are you?"

Miguel responds flatly, saying your name, a little defensive after the flippant way she referred to you. "I really am sorry, but it would be dishonest to us both if I went on that date with you..."

Miguel sees you on the beach, sitting on a towel next to Felicia, appearing to be crying.

"'Scuse me..." Miguel jogs away, leaving Dana fuming.

Felicia hugs you and you both rock back and forth together for a bit. "Dude...don't be upset. Seriously... let them have each other... You're SO much better than that. You're happy with Peter, right?"

You look at Felicia with a trembling lip.

"Noooo...you're not still...?"

"Ladies?"

You and Felicia jump, you turn and see that Miguel is standing above you both. You hide your face, desperately trying to fan yourself and hide evidence of your tears.

"Oh heyyyyyy, Miguel!" Felicia says nervously, trying to distract him. "Look, this is kind of a bad time."

Miguel isn't persuaded by the poor attempts to turn him away. He says your name softly. "Can we please go talk?"

You sigh and look up at him, abandoning your efforts to conceal yourself, letting him see your tear stained face in its entirety. "No thanks, I'd rather not."

"I said no to the date, alright?"

Felicia's eyebrows raise. You two look at each other. Your feminine high council of two unsure of what to make of this revelation.

Miguel's lips tug upwards a little, giving him that shy smile. "Please, can we go talk some more?"

You look at Felicia and she shrugs her shoulders as though she was trying to put the ball in your court.

You nod, standing up, turning down Miguel's offer to help you up as you shakily get on your feet. You look to see if Peter was around, but you couldn't spot him yet.

You and Miguel walk along the beach again, this time the sunlight hitting you directly and no alcohol in either of your systems. Both of you squint your eyes, raising your hands to try and shield yourselves from the intense glare of the sun, finding a shady spot further down the shore.

You do spy Peter in the distance. He's about to get on some jet skis with Ben. He gives you a shy nod and a wave. You wave back, giving him a smile, grateful he was far enough away to not see your sadness.

Miguel clicks his tongue out of nervous habit, unsure of how to start the conversation.

"So, you turned her down, huh?" You ask.

Miguel nods looking at you with his lips pressed together. "Yep..."

"Why?" Your tone a mixture of annoyance and disbelief.

Miguel blows air out of his nostrils shortly in amusement. "I saw the footage of her saying she wanted to fuck Gabe, so..." He looks down, shaking his head, then looking back at you. "I'd rather not be with someone who actually wants to bang my younger brother."

"Huh..." You exhale, deeply relieved.

Miguel nudges you playfully. "Were you jealous or something?"

"God-No!" You answer too quickly, scoffing.

Miguel raises his eyebrows. "Really?"

You nudge him back, but he barely moves, your comparatively smaller frame no match against his. He snickers in response. "Yes, really,...you smug bastard..." You say, shaking your head.

"C'mon, at least a little bit?" Miguel prods, his eyes a little more hopeful.

"I just think you can do way better than her." You state, not willing to admit to your lingering feelings just yet. You don't need to, however. Miguel can see the ghost of your love you still harbored for him on your face. It was still alive, even if you weren't ready to say it aloud.

Miguel gives you a soft smile in admiration. "Well, thanks for looking out for me..."

"No problem." You answer, looking up at him.

"But, I am a grown ass man. Trust me, I have better judgement than you think." Miguel says playfully.

"Ohhhhh I SERIOUSLYYYYYY beg to differ." You scoff, throwing a stray stone into the ocean absentmindedly.

Miguel's eyebrows raise. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah." Another stone you threw plops, making a splash.

Miguel watches your actions, trying to figure you out. "My judgement sucks that bad?"

"Mhmmmm..." Another stone plops into the water. "Just look at how your engagement ended up."

Miguel nods, not denying the reality. "Touché..." He chuckles as you throw a new stone a little harder, making a small grunt in frustration.

His playful expression fades as it clicks for him, just how much BS he put you through all this time.

"I never did apologize to you, did I?" He says.

You turn and he's looking you in the eyes. You hold his gaze but you look down momentarily, a little thrown off by its intensity. But then, you realize this is all you ever really wanted to hear from him.

You lift your head, and you feel the pitter patter of your heart as you realize he took a few steps closer to you.

"I am sorry..." Miguel whispers, reaching for your hand. You flinch, moving your hand away. He notices and raises his hands in a surrender position, lowering them back to his side.

"I'm sorry that I put you through so much. For misleading you that night in the fairytale suite, for the shit storm you weathered on social media, for dumping you and hurting you, for letting my mom give you a hard time, making you relive your trauma week after week....I-" he closes his eyes.

Apologizing was foreign to him and not his favorite thing to do, but he owed it to you to find a way to release it all at once this time, even if it made him uncomfortable. You were more important than his discomfort.

There was an elimination ceremony tonight, and Dana might have been his only chance to stay longer in Paradise. The odds were not looking good for him to find someone to give him a rose. Not unless this apology could somehow undo nearly 6 months worth of heartache. Slim chance.

"I am so sorry." Miguel repeats. "You're an unbelievable woman, and you deserved better than what I put you through."

You try to find a trace of insincerity on his face but there is none. Vermilion hues of his eyes, honest and true. His mouth molds into one of his smiles that you love so much.

"You're really strong, too, you know..." Miguel says, a little bashful. "To be able to handle everything you did...I admit, it didn't sink in for me until an embarrassingly later time than it should have. So if I end up going home tonight, at least I know that I put it all out there..."

You listened to him, your eyes widening every so often as he continued and recounted his full story, how Xina ended up being a snob when the cameras were off and his future in-laws were racist and how this whole process, this damn show, completely blinded him, making it so every decision he made was a mistake, including letting you go.

The host, Jason Donner watches the scene play back live. He clears his throat a little uncomfortably at Miguel's open criticism of the show, but mouths to a producer that they'll edit it later with a nervous smile and a wink.

Back on the beach, you blink slowly, your heart left with more confusion than clarity after his confession. You really liked Peter, a lot. But there's no denying Miguel still had you in an iron grip. And, he just said everything that you ever wanted him to say, apologizing at last.

But yet, you couldn't help but wonder if it was only because he didn't have you anymore. Because he didn't have Xina anymore. Because there was nobody new in Paradise that could catch his eye, yet...

"Well, you don't know how much that means to me. That's all I ever wanted you to say, Miggy..."

Miguel melts internally at your voice. Your usage of his nickname adding double insult to injury. The fact that it's coming from you triple confirming that he's very much in love with you, right now, in this very moment.

It's on the tip of his tongue. He conquered his fear of apologizing, what's being afraid of a little love confession? He owes you those three words. He opens his mouth to speak.

"I need some time." You say, cutting him off.

"Time?" He gives you a slightly puzzled look. If it means you'd eventually give your heart back to him in the end, he'll give you whatever you need in this moment, but he's still not sure what you meant.

You gulp, going on to elaborate. "As much as I wanna just forget the past, I need some time to heal from it."

Miguel nods slowly. You were being honest. It hurt. But you were honest.

You continue in a careful voice. "I still want to explore my new connection I made here..."

Miguel nods again, trying to forget the now forming lump in his throat.

"I owe it to myself to see things through with Peter." You say, holding your breath at his reaction.

You release it when you see Miguel nod a third time, giving you a smile, although it's clear it's forced.

"I understand." Miguel says, tracing the sand with his toe. "No matter what happens...you know where to find me. I'll always care about you, one way or another."

You give him a solemn smile, opening your arms out to him.

Miguel's face warms up and he accepts your hug eagerly, his body stiff at first, then willing himself to relax completely. A quiet sigh escapes him as you two hold each other for the longest moment, both closing your eyes, your hands tightly gripping the back of his tank top.

The scent coming off his skin making you feel as if you were at home as long as you were wrapped around him.

The course your love ran on was far from smooth. Your two hearts seemingly molded perfectly for the other were just dealt the most unfortunate of hands from life's deck of cards.

A truly bittersweet moment, but it set a positive precedence going forward when you both said your piece to one another.

You pull away, giving Miguel's hand a fond squeeze in farewell and he turns back towards the ocean.

A couple of tears run down his face as soon as his back is to you.

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Later, the group is enjoying the pool. You and Felicia are sunbathing. Dana, Peter, Ben, George, MJ, Web-Slinger, and Miguel are all swimming. Somehow, Dana is managing to throw herself at all of the men.

The only exception is Miguel, who's floating silently in the deep end safely away from her antics atop a large inflatable flamingo, the pink bird slightly crushed under his built form.

You peer over your sunglasses and glance over at Felicia, both of you seething with silent annoyance at the sight of Dana trying so blatantly hard to flirt with your men without any shame.

You relax when it appears that Peter and Ben are staying faithful, nicely and awkwardly ducking away from her advances. You feel a little bad on the inside for MJ even though you were currently dating Peter, watching her touch George's arm in silent claim over him when Dana came swimming dangerously close.

The merriment is interrupted when a figure walks down the stairs.

"Noir?"

Everyone stops what they're doing, turning their attention towards him as he comes walking quietly towards the pool, Jess notably absent from his side.

"What's going on?" Peter jumps out of the pool, walking to his side as Noir plops on an unoccupied chair with his head in his hands. "Where's Jess, is she okay?"

"She's pregnant." Noir says quietly. Everyone freezes, looking at each other with confused expressions on their faces.

Peter looks puzzled, then at the ground, trying to sort it out in his head. "But how...? We've only been here for a couple weeks?"

Noir explains, "The child is her ex's. The man she was dating before she came on the show. She's two months along. She's gone home, understandably so."

A few mouths fall open, reacting to the news, the camera rapidly switching back and forth to get everyone's experessions. You and Felicia grab each other's arms in silent comraddery.

Peter nods slowly, taking this in. "How are you doing with this, then?"

Noir blows air out of his mouth. "I'm still in shock, I admit." He stands up. "I just came back to let you all know that I'm going to be leaving too. I'm meeting her in her home state and we're figuring this out together. I wouldn't feel right staying here."

Everyone nods, the shock turning to silent joy at this news, wishing him and Jess nothing but the best.

Peter walks over to you, placing a hand on your waist, Miguel's cue to paddle to the other side of the pool, trying not to watch.

Peter's eyes search yours, "You doing alright?"

You smile, ruffling his damp hair. "Yeah, I'm alright."

Peter reaches down underneath his beach towel, retrieving an envelope. "Jason gave me a little something..."

You smile brightly when you recognize it's a date card. You take it out of its envelope and read it aloud.

"Peter, Choose a lucky lady to accompany you tonight and let your love set sail. -Jason Donner"

You look up at him, "I'd love to," as you pull him into a kiss.

Across the way, Miguel unfortunately witnessed you locking lips with Peter. He takes his sunglasses off, casting them to the side of the pool, hopping off the inflatable flamingo and disappearing underwater.

Peter and Ben then leave with Noir to help him pack his bags. You and Felicia turn to each other.

"It's getting late, we should probably go start getting ready?"

Felicia nods. Most of the others get out and head back to their rooms as well. Felicia addresses Dana, out of forced politeness,

"Are you going to come get ready for dinner with us?"

Dana shakes her wet hair, smoothing it as she struts back towards the pool. "Nah, you girls go ahead. I know how you ladies are with your hair and makeup. It barely takes me an hour to get ready. I like to keep things simple." She winks in George's direction who smirks back at her, MJ turning a shade of green.

Felicia rolls her eyes like a pair of dice. Thankfully, her sunglasses shield her true feelings. You both make your way back to your room along with the others.

Soon, just Dana and Miguel are left in the pool alone, Miguel back atop his inflatable sunbathing post. Miguel's eyes are closed as he lets the heat gradually absorb the water droplets on his skin, seemingly unaware that she's lurking nearby.

Dana smiles slyly, biting her lip at how fine he looks right now. His muscles and happy trail are on full display, and he's still soaking wet. Paradise looks good on him. She can't resist approaching him, even though he turned her down earlier.

"He's hot, I'm hot, we're both single. I can do whatever I want," She thinks.

Miguel's eyes open in alarm when he feels his inflatable shake as Dana tries to climb on it next to him. "What the...?"

Dana giggles flirtatiously. "Relax, Miggy. I just wanna sit next to ya."

Miguel curses. The inflatable is already nearly at its limit with his weight alone, and it's looking like it's going to capsize under both of them. He just wanted to relax in peace and dry off.

"Stop, you're gonna make us-ARGGLLLGGGHHH!!"

Miguel's voice gets cut off as the flamingo flips, knocking him off and landing him on top of Dana. She squeals and giggles at the water splashing her face, wrapping her legs around his torso underwater.

Miguel thrashes, partially blinded by the water in his eyes, trying to grab onto the side of the pool, anything. His hands find Dana's waist for a moment and she takes that opportunity to mount him, wrapping her legs tighter around him and her arms around his neck. Miguel sputters, not fully grasping what's happening, his vision still blurred by the pool water.

At that very moment, Ben Reilly comes walking back for his forgotten beach towel. He freezes when he sees the sight in front of him: Dana straddling Miguel in the pool. Miguel's back was turned to him, but he could clearly see Dana all over him.

Both of them are oblivious to Ben's presence. Ben slowly backs away, confirming that his eyes aren't lying to him before he turns around, quickly and quietly slipping away to go find Felicia immediately.

As soon as he flees, Miguel finally pries Dana off of him. He grumbles as he gets out of the pool, Dana calling after him with an exaggerated pout on her lips. She smiles to herself, shamelessly looking at Miguel's ass as he walks away, resuming floating solo in the pool.

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In yours and Felicia's room

You look at yourself in the mirror as you put on a large pair of hoop earrings, turning your face delicately to the side as you do a final glance at your makeup. You look absolutely beautiful with your hair done, new sundress highlighting every curve of your body, lips glimmering with your favorite lip gloss, the ocean air of paradise giving you a bewitching glow.

Felicia and Ben are sitting on her bed. Felicia's all dressed up as well, her hair in beachy waves and her lips an alluring red. She's looking nervously at you.

"I don't know what to say..."

"It's fine." Your voice has a slight thickness as you speak. Felicia's eyes have a look of pity when it appears you're just trying to put a brave face on.

"I'll be just fine. I'm used to being let down by now. It's nothing new with him."

Just a while earlier, Ben had found Felicia; he sat her down and told her exactly what he saw in the pool: Dana and Miguel all over each other.

"No way...Miguel said he turned her down."

Ben shakes his head. "I'm telling you, that's what I saw, babe. I swear I'd never lie about something like that."

"I know, I know..." Felicia says slowly, bringing her hands to her face in a contemplative manner.

It's true, Ben was honest. There would be no benefit for him to lie about such a thing. He was just trying to look out for you because he knew you were Felicia's bestie, and you still had a complicated thing for Miguel.

"I'll tell her." Felicia said.

And so, she and Ben did tell you, and it felt like another stake was driven through your heart in that moment. That all too familiar feeling of disappointment that Miguel always left you with.

Such a stupid girl... but could you really be surprised? But this betrayal hurt differently than the others. He poured his heart out to you on that beach, apologizing for everything he put you through, only for this incident to cancel it all out. Just prepping your heart so he could shatter it once again.

He said he didn't have a thing for Dana but he clearly did. Maybe because she was the only girl available on the beach. She felt comfortable enough to be all over him as soon as she thought they were all alone and nobody would find out.

You press your tongue against the back of your teeth as you stand up, trying not to cry once again as you pat Felicia's hand on your shoulder. "I'm good...I'm gonna go meet Peter. I need to focus on my relationship with him. Fuck Miguel."

Felicia and Ben watch you leave for your date with a solemn expression.

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A soaked Miguel is walking towards you on the same pathway. Shirtless, his coffee colored locks in a mop on his head, beads of water trickling down those abs, straight out of a sports magazine. But, as soon as you spot him, you abruptly change directions, going the other way.

Miguel's pupils enlarge when he sees you all dolled up. How jaw-dropping you look in the late afternoon sun. Your dress flows away from you like a sea goddess. But why are you avoiding him?

"Hey!" Miguel calls after you. You speed up. The cameraman wheezes, chasing you like it's Maury and not Singles in Paradise. Miguel picks up into a jog, catching up to you in no time, your speed no match for his thanks to his long legs.

Miguel goes to grab your arm and you yank yourself away. "Get the hell away from me."

Miguel feels a jolt of confusion and hurt. "What's wrong...?"

"What isn't wrong with you, huh Miguel?" You whip around, your words coated in venom as you hurl them at him. "Everything! Do me a favor and stay the fuck away from me for the rest of Paradise. Or even better, leave Paradise altogether and go home!"

Miguel stops in his tracks, his heart damaged in his chest. He thinks hard about what could've happened. What could he have done this time...

Oh no...

Dana. Shock. You must have seen it.

"This is about Dana, isn't it?" Miguel says, speeding up to catch you again. "Huh? C'mon talk to me! NOTHING happened! She came on to me! She threw herself on me when I was in the pool..."

"Just STOP!" you turn around, screaming. Your face on fire. Tears of frustration flowing like a waterfall. "Just leave me alone...I'm tired, Miguel!! You broke me for the LAST time! Stay the fuck away from me!! If you have even the tiniest shred of love left for me in your heart, you'll stay the fuck away from me..."

Miguel is desperate, his grip on you is slipping, his heart is drowning. He can't lose you now, not when there was an elimination ceremony tonight and he might get sent home before he could help you see the truth. Now you hated him forever, and there was no fixing it.

"Please..." Tears are running down his face. "Please..."

"I'll see you around, Miguel. I have a date to go on." Your lip trembles as you turn away, leaving him alone under a palm tree. He clasps his chest as he watches you walk away to have an unforgettable evening with another man, his heartache seemingly painful enough this time to physically manifest with an empty feeling that overtakes his whole body.

"No..." He covers his face with his hand, using the other to steady himself against the tree as his muffled cries cause his shoulders to shake.

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

Peter is waiting for you on the dock wearing tan khaki shorts and a white button down shirt. The wind is blowing his hair gently in the wind, his 5 o' clock shadow lining his face after a clean shave. Those chocolate brown eyes land on you and he gives you a big smile, his body getting warm at the sight of your beauty.

His face turns to worry, however, as it appears you're upset.

"Hey you...what's wrong?" He takes you in his arms, and you hold him close. His scent is different than Miguel's but it's still delicious, his aftershave giving him a fresh, clean aura.

He holds you in silence and you look up at him. He gives you a little smile, swiping his thumb under your eyes, catching some tears. "Wanna talk about it...?"

You sigh, starting to calm down, your hands on Peter's waist. "Yeah, maybe in a bit, though?"

Peter nods, running his hands up and down your shoulders, making you shiver in a good way. "Course, cutie... Let's get on this boat and get you comfortable...how's that sound?"

You manage a smile, and he wraps his arm around you, guiding you to a large, white yacht where warm blankets, champagne, fresh fruit, and finger sandwiches await.

Peter wraps you in a bundle with a glass and as much food as you like as the boat departs from the dock. The dark blue seas pave away, kicking up white bubbles of sea foam effortlessly as the vessel slices through the water.

It's absolutely stunning and romantic. You lean backwards against Peter and he rests his chin on your head, talking in hushed tones only the two of you can hear as you take in the magnificent ocean views, feeling like a bird gliding along the water.

It's one of those experiences you have to just take in with your eyes, committing every image to memory, the feeling of his hands on your body alone causing you to fall deeper and deeper for him.

For the first time in a while, Miguel manages to not cross your mind involuntarily as you converse with Peter, both of you diving head first into the breath-taking palette of the tropical sunset together. The conversation flows and it's just easy.

He listens patiently as you describe your conflicting feelings about Miguel and how he hurt you. Peter nods, not interrupting you. His eyes wander, looking away as though he were lost in thought, but only for a moment before he looks at you again, reassuring you with a squeeze of his hand.

This other side of your relationship you're exploring with him is comforting. As your yacht date draws to a close, you get even closer to him, the incoming darkness of the night going to your head and the champagne traveling swiftly through your veins, filling you with blazing want. You bite your lip as you press your body a little harder backwards against Peter.

As though he could read your mind, his lips part open a little and he presses back with equal force, one of his hands traveling a little further down your body.

Your eyes roll back when you feel his fingers on the outside of your dress, just above your sex, resting your head backwards against him.

"Naughty..." He whispers, nibbling your ear. He continues to entertain your tease as the boat heads back to shore. The darkness is on your side, keeping your sensual antics hidden from the captain's view.

---

Once you get back, the other couples of paradise greet you warmly once again. Miguel keeps his eyes straight ahead, doing his best to ignore your obvious joy with Peter, signaling a successful date. You and Felicia go off again to have your girl time, the cameras eagerly on your heels so as not to miss any tea that spills between you two.

Miguel tries to control his seething annoyance as a different camera focuses on him. Surely, the audience would revel in this well deserved karma that was being served to him, even if you were blind to the truth and he was wrongfully misunderstood.

The only people left around the fire pit right now are Miguel, Ben, Peter, and Dana. Miguel can't help but notice Ben and Peter are getting rowdier and rowdier, the latter starting to get a little too carried away.

Peter had a right to celebrate, sure, but Miguel was starting to become worried that he was overdoing it. Peter stumbled back and forth between the bar and the fire pit, his steps becoming sloppier in the sand with each trip as the liquor began to settle in.

Miguel coughed and tried to mind his business. Dana was lurking close by, butting into the drunken conversation between Peter and Ben, her's and Peter's voices fighting for dominance over the other.

Miguel's eyebrows traveled up higher and higher on his forehead as he listened to the nonsense leaving Peter's mouth. You couldn't really be into this guy, could you? He was complaining about dating and his love life in general outside the show. He made remarks that were borderline misogynistic, how women weren't genuine nowadays and "real ones" were hard to find, and blah blah blah. Ben was slumped backwards, snoring loudly. Miguel was the only sober and alert witness at this point.

Miguel winced and looked for you, but you were far off having a chat with your bestie. Totally unaware that Dana seemed to be pushing the line with Peter, something that Miguel was picking up on quickly, his sobriety giving him binoculars of clarity that everyone else was missing.

Miguel tries to stay and watch as long as he can, but he realizes he needs to use the restroom. He decides to shake it off for now, deciding that Dana is just being homewrecking-Dana, and that Peter is just acting out of the ordinary due to excessive inebriation.

Miguel uses the men's room, washing his hands, and goes back outside, walking along the long garden path back to the beach. He figured he'd take one more stroll along the shoreline to clear his mind before the Elimination Ceremony, making peace with the fact that he's probably going home tonight.

He hears a rustling in some bushes and a woman's soft moans, stopping him dead in his tracks. He shakes his head, trying to continue and move along.

Probably just one of the couples having some nighttime fun, a typical occurrence in Paradise.

But then comes the sound of a suspiciously familiar man's voice, groaning a name that Miguel did not expect:

"Dana...."

Miguel whips around and follows the sound, making himself stealthy as he tries his hardest to crouch down and stay hidden. He scrunches his nose in pain as the twigs and leaves scratch his exposed legs and forearms. Then, he sees it.

The voice moaning Dana's name belongs to none other than Peter B. And here he was, eating her out in secret behind a small clearing of palm trees. Her swimsuit coverup was pulled upwards and her bikini bottoms to the side as she bit her lip in pleasure, her hands tugging at his hair.

Miguel's mouth falls open in disbelief, his brain short circuiting, not willing to fully connect to the vision his eyes are witnessing. Nausea emerges within him, followed quickly by waves of raw anger, this sick display of betrayal unfolding right in front of his face while you were happy and unaware, being faithful to a man who didn't even have his ring on your finger.

The edge of the camera nudges Miguel's shoulder and he jumps in alarm, hissing at its foolishness in possibly revealing his position. This show really had no shame in the lengths they'd go for some drama, but did they really have to be all up in his space like that?

The cameraman breaks a twig under his foot, leading to a loud snap, causing Peter's head to shoot up in a cold sweat as Dana frantically tried to straighten her clothes, bolting in the other direction.

Miguel makes a run for it too, struggling his way out of the bushes the same way he came in, branches and twigs giving him a new layer of scratches and pokes.

Once he's back on the moonlit path brushing off his button up shirt and swim shorts, he straightens up and sees Peter stumble a few feet in front of him, fresh from the scene of the crime.

Peter drunkenly locks eyes with Miguel, brown meeting burgundy. His eyes widen in fear that he's likely been caught, Miguel responding with a look of disdain that contains the highest level of disgust and fury he can muster.

Peter gulps and clumsily stumbles away, leaving Miguel alone once again, seething with rage, his mind running a million miles per second.

Once Miguel begins to calm down a little, his trusted logistical thinking begins to take over again, but it's overwhelmed by dread as he slowly begins to walk, placing one foot in front of the other, and repeat.

Deep breaths.

He feels his heart shudder under the heavy weight of this burden he must now bear.

He'll have to break your heart once again, even though you already hate him forever.

The whole trajectory and name of the game has just changed as he knew it within a matter of minutes.

This simple knowledge he now carries would shake up everything.

The dwindling hours he has left before the Elimination Ceremony tonight looms overhead ominously.

He rubs his face, letting out a small groan as he trudges heavily onward, preparing to face your wrath once again.

The host, Jason Donner speaks in a voiceover:

Stay tuned for another drama-packed episode of Singles in Paradise!

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

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