I ship them but in a "definitely on their 3rd divorce" way

The reason why Tales From The Gas Station works so well is because the premise is so fucking funny.

Imagine a guy. Just a guy. He is a cashier at the gas station at the edge of town.

That town is fucking weird. There are monsters, hauntings, eldritch gods appearing in dreams, parasites, cultists, serial killers, tree people, politicians that don't stay dead, a ventriloquist puppet that has more influence than anyone else in town.

But this guy just wants to do his damn job. He doesn't care. He is tired. If you're not going to buy anything, he'll kindly ask you to leave the store.

He gets robbed, attacked, beaten up, threatened with death, threatened by old naked men, visited by murder cultists and terrible beings and he just goes right back to work afterwards. (He's nothing if not a good employee.)

At the same time, this guy isn't normal. He doesn't sleep. Ever. He has memory issues and sees hallucinations (so those weird things are probably not real anyway, right). He forgets his friend died on Halloween and isnt surprised when he keeps showing up. Aforementioned murder cultist tries to convince him to join the mission to blow up the planet, then adopts him as his best friend when it doesn't work. He is locked in a neverending battle with the local racoons.

so who’s winning the scrawny horror protagonist twerk off

Jack and the hungry hungry caterpillar

based on this:

Bitches will name a character after themselves and then subject them to unimaginable horrors 🤨 is there something you want to tell us?

what an odd assortment of misfits

Just a regular gas station with regular workers.

what do you mean hands are growing out the ground? just torch them before they start grabbing ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Just a normal day at the shitty gas station at the edge of town.

The longest ongoing conflict in the volumes: Jack Townsend vs. Spencer "extreme murderboner specifically for Jack" Middleton vs. Amy "I swear to god I will keep this skinny white boy alive" O'Brien vs. Jack "Yes I will go investigate that weird noise from the woods" Townsend

Did the thing

Did Jack kill Spencer’s family????

In book one, Jack says there was a rumor Spencer caused the fire that burned down his house and he was the sole survivor. In book four, Jack is at the high school reunion remembering the events from his past. He remembers burning down his bully’s house.

Is that why Spencer is always saying “you don’t remember what you did?!” & The scene where Spencer has a guy tied up who killed someone but forgot.

It’s so quickly mentioned I completely missed it on the first read. I’m on like read 5 now and still finding little details that connect. It’s the gift that keeps on keepin on.

Jerry walked over, sat on the counter, and said, "Alright, I'm not making any offers or anything. I just want to get your honest opinion. Do you think we're more likely or less likely to have an orgy now that Donald Glover is here?"

"Jerry, listen closely." I kept my voice low. "We have to kill Donald Glover."

"Okay!" He said, hopping back to his feet. "Let's do this. How?"

Jesus he doesn't even need an explanation or anything.

"We need to cut off his head."

"Nice."

— Tales from the Gas Station Vol II

he’s like a taxidermy butterfly to me.

Me when someone uses the word "gas station" in a sentence:

lighting practice w jack