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atthebell-moved · 1 year

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hi, i completely agree that the fandom has a problem with misogyny and often fails at self-introspection. my question is, do you have any resources/tips/thoughts on how to be better about it? even, how to recognize it in yourself the first place? "ok i'll stop being a misogynist now" is a lot easier said than done, especially for people who might not be that educated on the subject, and majority of the people in this fandom are quite young as well.

this is long as fuck and possibly somewhat incoherent bc it took so long to write but i did my best

my biggest tip for people who don't know much about misogyny is to look at your own behavior and learn how to clock what you're doing as sexist.

are you criticizing a female creator? think about why you're doing it, what the actual beef you have with them is. if it seems to be just a sense of discomfort or thinking they're annoying or overly loud or pushy, think about male ccs who act the same way and why you dont consider them annoying. are you annoyed with them for being on a male cc's stream? why? does it feel like theyre taking up too much attention? do you get annoyed with them for talking too much or flirting with guys? for gaming especially-- do you get annoyed with them for not knowing something or being "bad" at a game? think about why that is and why its just funny when a male cc is bad at games or doesnt know something.

a HUGE problem i see in this fandom is the Madonna-whore complex, repackaged as the little sister-racist dichotomy (kudos to @yourlittlemenace for that phrasing).

if a female cc is deemed to be "playing nice" (doesnt talk too much, is "nice", streams with male ccs but doesnt flirt with them, isn't "overtly sexual"), she's the little sister of the group. all the male ccs "protect" her, she literally folds their laundry, she doesnt call out how people treat her, and the fandom pretends that this is a normal and cool way to treat women who are public figures. this also goes for mom/big sister/etc. if you think you haven't done this, think about all the aus where you've forced puffy into some kind of maternal or sisterly role when it made no sense. then think about how pissed people got when she decided not to be the server therapist and was "mean" to Tommy (in lore, with permission. that she didnt even need to get. see that clip i rbed earlier from her podcast.)

if the fandom decides she doesnt play nice, if she flirts with male ccs too much or stands up for herself or points out how unfair it is that she's being treated this way, she gets demeaned, harassed, and shunned by the fandom. consider, again, puffy. consider how niki flirted with wilbur and talked about misogyny and got called a racist for *checks notes* "speaking to schlatt and fundy" and "not being a native english speaker". she got called a slut and a queerbaiter for kissing another woman despite being bisexual.

consider how hard people went down on hannah for having said the r slur several years back versus how hard they went on dream for the same thing. and how people dug it up as a direct response to her being on stream with dream. consider how every time hannah talks about how unfair it is that the mcc subreddit treats her like trash, she has to delete all her tweets bc they harass her to hell and back and act like she's an asshole for pointing out their hypocrisy.

the fandom doesnt do this across the board; i shouldnt have to say this, but its not an everyone versus no one issue. some people do this outright and loud, some dont seem to realize theyre doing it, and a few people dont do it at all (incredibly rare, i can count on one hand the number of people who genuinely seem to try to avoid these issues, which is why im complaining).

in terms of lore, have you ever once done analysis on a female character? why do you think you haven't? the bechdel-wallace test is an (imperfect) way of gauging how a piece of media ignores women and prioritizes men. think about the fact that there are FOUR female ccs on the DSMP and they are continually ignored in favor of male characters. consider that puffy and aimsey both talked about trying to do genuine lore and getting shafted, either because no one was online and wouldn't put in the effort to stream with them or because they received insane amounts of criticism for breaking anything on the server, despite the clear lack of "no griefing" rules and the precedent that you can blow other people's shit up (tommy leveling one of puffy's builds, amongst many other examples).

a quick thing about ships: have you ever wondered why m/m ships are so popular? the general consensus amongst people who care about feminism and are into fandom studies is that for a long period of time, m/m was hugely popular because women are so rarely written as full and complete characters in any media. so people took to engaging with m/m ships and writing about them because they were the most fulfilling relationships, and because misogyny led them to be predisposed to be uninterested in female characters.

say an m/m ship is incredibly popular, something like, i dunno, john watson and sherlock holmes from bbc sherlock. lets also say the canonical media presents one or both of the characters with a female love interest. how do you think a fandom that prioritizes m/m ships and is primed to be disinterested in women as characters (either because of our society's role in teaching people that women do not matter or because of fandom's history in assuming female characters are not fleshed out) is going to react? if you said theyre going to send undue amounts of criticism her way and act like its an act of homophobia to give a canonically straight character a female love interest, congrats, you've figured out a huge component in fandom misogyny. take this, amplify it over several decades, and add the psychic damage that supernatural gave society. queerbaiting is bad but mistreating female characters in service of nonexistent queer relationships is also bad.

this is relevant in general but i also believe its relevant for the dsmp because of the complete lack of m/f ships. aside from phil and kristin, who are literally married irl and kristin isn't even on the server, there are no m/f ships that involve female creators. this is not, despite what you may think, due to the inherently yaoi nature of minecraft roleplay. this is because the creators, including the male ones, are afraid of the blowback of m/f flirting and how fucking awful people are to female ccs anytime it happens. once again look at niki. as another example, consider how notfounders harassed the living daylights out of mxmtoon for flirting with gnf on twitter. if i was a cc i would avoid it like the plague too considering how happy people are to dig shit up about them or accuse them of being a slut or an attention whore/"pick me girl" for speaking to a man.

one last thing, this is more about fanart than anything else but stop drawing women to look like teenage boys. the amount of fanart i see where i literally cannot tell if someone has drawn niki or tommy is fucking insane. niki has curves. draw her with them. if you cannot draw women or people outside a very specific body type you cannot draw. fatphobia and misogyny have a clear overlap.

i cant think of anything else and ive already spent forever on this. look into feminist media analysis. think twice about how you react to female ccs & female characters. consider not just what characters have interesting stories but who is allowed to have interesting stories. you might be neglecting someone who has a lot going on because you're dismissing a female character as inherently less likely to be interesting. you might not even know someone has an interesting story because the fandom neglects it so completely.

as a final little note: like i said earlier, if you're not familiar with gender & sexuality studies, you may not know this, but homophobia and transphobia are rooted in misogyny. the idea that gender is immutable and rigid is because of the patriarchy. this is why gendered slurs are used against queer people and why queer men in particular get accused of and demeaned for being feminine. your understanding of queerphobia is incomplete without considering how sexism plays a role.

also go read everything rayne fisher-quann has ever written but especially this piece on getting woman'd and listen to you're wrong about

#asks #anons #misogyny in fandom #i cant think of a ton of specific links to provide because my understanding of feminism is like. so entrenched #like ive been doing it basically since i got on the internet #and i also studied it in university so i dont want to send like. meaty academic texts necessarily #ill look and see if i can find any other helpful sources though and feel free to add on #also i want to note on that last bit that every time ive talked about this ive mentioned that this fandom runs quite young #and i acknowledge that i literally studied this for like six years #so i have a leg up. but it does feel genuinely like people are putting on blinders to avoid talking about it #which is why it feels like its bc feminism is cringe right now or something #this is. not well written but im honestly so sleepy i stayed up til 3 working on orders ahhhhh #banger posts

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paper-mario-wiki · 2 months

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Hey how do you cook chicken so often. It's always a huge fucking hassle to me to prep and cook chicken and it's so expensive I usually don't bother. Is there some trick you know for making it easy?

the answer's a lot more simple than ya think. i just have a huge bag of chicken breasts in the freezer. dont remember PRECISELY how much it was, pretty sure under $25 for 10 pounds at costco, and it'll last you several weeks when cooking for one.

the only real "prep" for making it easier is, when i don't have any chicken thawed in the fridge, i take some out of the freezer and put it into a plastic bag in the fridge. then, by the next day, ive got chicken that can be cooked and eaten up in 10 minutes. while still raw, it'll stay good for 2 days refrigerated, and up to 4 if you're stupid.

the breasts are actually a little bigger than i'd like when cooking just for myself, so while they're still frozen i find their middle and split them in half on the hard corner of my kitchen counter.

before seasoning, pat down the breast with a paper towel to get excess moisture off. it'll cook more evenly and make seasoning stick easier. i only use salt and pepper before cooking because im lazy and spiceless (poor), but you can definitely use herbs and whatnot when cooking. also smash down some of the thicker bits of the meat with the bottom of a cup or a mallet if you've got one. as long as the breast isn't thicker than, say, the width of your index finger, it'll cook through very easily, mostly in its own juices. otherwise you'll have a harder time cooking it evenly, though it can still be done. it just takes longer and might not look as nice.

pan-frying is as easy as putting in a splash of olive oil (not a ton, just enough for the breast to rest in), and cooking for 5 to 7 minutes on both sides, depending on how brown you want it. this is on medium-high heat, so i set my stove's little heat dial to 6 or 7.

for reference, the meal i made today (chicken breast, hashbrown, fried kale) was prepared in about 15ish minutes, including prepping the chicken and getting it on the pan, which was done first cuz it takes the longest to cook. the hashbrowns cooked on the far side of the pan away from the chicken, and the kale in my air fryer for 3 minutes. the chicken came off the pan first, and i let it rest for a few minutes while i let the hashbrowns finish cooking.

it sounds like a lotta work, but sincerely the most tedious thing about cooking with chicken is thawing it out, so having a few single-person servings of chicken in the fridge makes the whole process much simpler.

make sure that you're wiping down surfaces and utensils that the chicken touches while still raw, and try not to let any of the other foods at all. salmonella is easily avoidable, but still no joke.

#anon #reply

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delfiore · 9 months

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—MY DEAREST FRIEND AND ENEMY. (1/5)

pairing: ona batlle x fem!reader

synopsis: you were ona’s biggest headache at man united, until you both move to barcelona.

word count: 3.7k

a/n: i’ve been watching the men’s game for years but i’ve finally sobered FINAL TODAY LET’S GO ENGLAND LET’S GO SPAIN (MOSTLY SPAIN)

PART II, PART III, PART IV, PART V

It started four years ago when Ona first signed for United. She didn’t notice at first the way you were always gunning for her, she was just doing her job.

But now, you were here in Barcelona with her. As she looked up at you, a soft smile on your face, everything she had buried in the past year all came rushing back.

Everyone was aware of the new signing from the States for her rival club just a couple of weeks before, a dragged-out saga of whether you were going to choose City or United. Unfortunately for her, you chose the Sky Blues.

If things had been different, maybe she wouldn’t have despised you as much as she did.

The first Manchester derby you played, she thought marking you would be easy until you dribbled past her several times to register a goal and assist. She must have been glowering at you when she walked back to the midfield line, because you shrugged before grinning at her, saying: “All in a day’s work.”

“Could I just ask what put Man City above all the other contenders for your signature?” “Well, I mean, it’s a great club with a great history, amazing players too. I’ve spoken at length with the new manager and he gave me a rough plan for next year’s project. So I’m really excited and confident that it’ll be a great destination for me.” “What do you say to the people who think you’ve chosen City for the money?” “People can think whatever they want to think. I’ll just play my game, and they can judge me all they want. It’s all anyone’s good for.” “You’ve just transferred from Portland, you’ve got an enormous price tag for the women’s game, tons of big clubs in Europe wanted you. There’s a mounting pressure on you, it seems. Do you think you’ll be up for the challenge of the Women’s Super League?” “It’s no fun if it’s not a challenge.”

Ona Batlle was what people considered a modern full-back, dangerous in attack just as she was solid in defense. But when playing against Man City, she usually has to stay back to avoid a dangerous winger finding their way into the box; you. It wasn’t her way of playing, and it frustrated her that that was what her role was while her team was struggling to create chances, especially when she knew she could help.

“I want you to stay back and mark Y/L/N. Whatever you do, do not let her out of your sight,” Casey had told her.

She hated you for caging her in, and the worst part was she wasn’t sure if she can stop you sometimes.

The night before her next game against you, she watched how you played the previous match, studied your movement carefully, and took notes. She liked that she had found a pattern. You liked to use your speed, but you also liked to taunt your defenders; a pace of prime Thierry Henry’s, and showboating tendencies like that of Neymar. It’s why you were so entertaining to watch, because every defender you faced ended up a sort of decoration to your parlor tricks, her included.

Ona never liked being second best to anybody, and certainly not to you.

And so when she was on the pitch, zeroing on you like a hawk, there was nothing stopping her from getting away from you. She didn’t need to resort to any risky challenges, she just needed to stick with you, keep you at arm’s length, and stay between you and the goal at all costs.

You may be a skilled player for your age, but controlling your temper is something you haven’t been able to achieve. She heard you cursing a few times, eventually earning you a yellow card when your insults were directed at the referee.

The ball had only left the City’s goalkeeper, Roebuck, yet she already felt you pushing back against her.

The game ended 3-1 for United, but she was secretly much happier that she had managed to piss you off so much, that you didn’t bother shaking hands with her afterwards.

“Congratulations, Ona. A huge victory for United. What do you think went well today?” “I think that our plans worked because we practiced and showed what we’re able to do. We didn’t have a lot of possession, but we focused on the counterattacks, and I think that definitely was a very effective tactic today.” “I have to ask you about Y/N Y/L/N. She’s been a formidable player in the league until now, and notoriously difficult to defend against, but she was practically silenced today on the left-hand side. Do you think you had something to do with that?” “I think what I’ve prepared in defense has worked out, for sure. I’ve also got my teammates to thank for covering the grounds for me. Y/L/N is a good player, and it’s always a joy to play against her.”

Her rivalry with you continued, and soon even the press was picking up on it. Manchester derbies now included Y/L/N v. Batlle, and everyone was predicting what crazy thing would happen next. It wasn’t common for defenders to make waves in the paper compared to superstar strikers or even midfielders unless they were linked with a big move. But soon Ona was reading about herself in the news, how she has defended Manchester United’s left wing with an iron grip, how they started calling her la matadora, for her ability to hold off forwards and tame them like bullfighters do.

One bull remained to be tamed though, and her conundrum continued into her second season at United.

Unlike her, you seemed to take the new breath of fame easily enough. Day in and day out, there were news of you scoring goals and bringing Man City to the top of the table by November.

You were born to be a star.

But Ona knew from shooting stars in the game that burned out too quickly; if you let what’s outside the pitch get to you, you might as well just leave it altogether. You might have been a good player, on your way to becoming a great one even, but you did have a flare for the dramatics which riled up the press quite a bit. If she was lucky, maybe the pressure would take you out of the game before she does.

International breaks were times she always look forward to, being able to represent her country. Even if they were friendly matches, she knew Spain was always being watched, as a team’s form was important on the world stage. The team would play two friendly matches, the first one being against Brazil and the other against the United States. Some friendly fixtures . . .

Brazil was a breeze, mainly because she wouldn’t have to face her biggest adversary. Naturally, you were called up to your national team, and the back-and-forth game persisted.

She had played against you many times at club level, but the way you played for your country was something else. There was more passion to the way you weave your way through defenders, more flare to your shots. It could also be the adrenaline of being called up for the first time, and wanting to prove yourself—she knew that feeling well.

It didn’t come as a surprise, then, that when a long ball was played over the defense line and Marta Cardona was on her way towards goal, you’d be there to strike her down right at the edge of the box. Her teammates appealed, and the referee paused the game, but all Ona saw was red. With a speed she didn’t know she had in her, she sprinted to you and shoved you away as you were bending down in a show of checking on Marta.

“What was that?! You could have broken her ankle, cabrona!”

“Watch it.”

You had never seen her so angry before—her jaw locked as she continued to hurl insults at you. If she wasn’t your mortal enemy maybe you could have found it attractive. So you pushed back, and soon both your teammates and hers crowded around you, trying to separate you. Kelley put her arm around your neck and walked away, telling you to “keep your cool, this is only a friendly”.

Never, you thought. Never while I’m playing against her.

You apologized to Marta eventually, and she was cool with it. “Heat of the moment”, she said, and you were grateful. You never meant to hurt anyone. Sometimes you just couldn’t control your adrenaline spike.

As expected, Ona didn’t even look at you after the match. So you went home with Marta.

The next morning at breakfast, Ona heard laughing from the girls surrounding Marta.

“How was your American late-night snack, Marta?” Leila laughed.

The girl only shook her head with a grin. “It was delicious, alright.”

Ona didn’t know what that twisted feeling in her gut was when she heard what Marta said, as she walked back to her hotel room after breakfast. She just knew that as long as she was alive, you were the most despicable person she knew.

ESPN: Y/L/N-Batlle Feud Continues, Bonmatí Controls Midfield in Spain-USWNT Clash “LOS ANGELES -- Thursday night saw a friendly match between Spain’s women's national team and the USWNT at the Snapdragon Stadium that ended in a 2-2 draw. Several debutants started for both teams, including Man City powerhouse Y/N Y/L/N. After a stunning cross into the box from the left for Mallory Pugh to tap in, a dangerous slide tackle on Marta Cardona ensured Y/L/N to be the heart of a confrontation between several players, including Ona Batlle. It seems their club rivalry persists as they were seen giving each other a very clear piece of their minds, and several clashes succeeded the Cardona tackle. It would have been a good performance for both if not for the slip of attitude. One thing is clear, though; the mentality is there, and it sure is entertaining to watch. […]”

The end of the season was fast approaching, and while you had become a thorn in her side, it came to a point in which she would not think about you until a week before a clash. This one in particular was crucial in the race for a Champions League spot that both Manchester clubs were vying for. She knew what it meant for the club to secure a UCL spot for the first time, and you were not about to ruin it for her.

Tooney and Millie invited her out for dinner the night before the derby, but she turned them down, opting for a quiet night in instead. After a few hours, however, she suddenly felt antsy, the anticipation before the game nipping at her. It was only 7pm when she checked and she decided to go for a run. She followed the familiar path she always takes to the nearby park, and she was glad she did because the sun was going down, leaving a glorious trail of orange in the sky. She loved these peaceful moments, away from adrenaline, away from the constant pressure, away from constantly having to push herself or she’d be called ‘lazy’.

A constant huffing sound appeared next to her, and when Ona looked down she saw an adorable corgi looking up at her while wagging its tail.

“Hello,” she bent down and pet the dog. Loving the attention, the little corgi jumped up in an attempt to lick her face, to which she let out a laugh.

“Bratwurst! Come back here!” She heard a voice call in the distance, which she assumed must have been the owner. “Sorry, he loves people.”

Ona looked up, and her face dropped. You did the same, standing frozen in front of her. Bratwurst was jumping up and down before you, probably excited that he received pets from someone else today.

She had never seen you in plain clothes before. You clearly knew how to dress yourself, because she might have admitted that you looked good if she didn’t hate you so much. But it was difficult to see you as anything else other than Y/N Y/L/N, Manchester City winger, and potentially Golden Boot winner this season by the looks of it.

And yet, she sat down on a nearby bench with you anyway, watching Bratwurst stick his butt in the air, attempting to catch a squirrel.

“I named him Bratwurst ‘cause he’s . . . long, you know?” You chuckled. ”Short form is Brat too, that’s kinda funny.”

In a sea of northern Englishmen, she never got to hear your American accent properly as she’d only heard you speak no more than two words to her, and most of the time they weren’t pleasant.

“How do you have time to own a dog?” She asked.

“He’s a foster. I just got him a couple of weeks ago.” You looked down at your fingers. “It’s nice to have him to come home to.”

The conversation died down, and suddenly Ona felt like this was a mistake. Maybe she should just leave, and continue her run. But she saw a different side to you—a gentler, quieter side unlike the boastful player she knew you as—and she wasn’t sure whether it was a good thing or not.

“Are you planning on adopting him permanently?”

“Maybe. I just want to make sure that I’m settled before making him move.”

You leaned back, placed your arm on the bench, and closed your eyes.

“You don’t want to stay in Manchester?”

“I don’t know yet. Why, would you be happy if I did?” You smirked, and she saw a glimpse of that player again.

Yes. “Your presence doesn’t bother me. It doesn’t bring me any joy either.”

“Just face it, Batlle.” You turned your body to her. “I get under your skin, don’t I?”

Ona blinked, her jaw clenching. “You don’t intimidate me, Y/L/N. You might be used to people bowing at your feet, but I won’t let you walk all over me. We will win tomorrow, and you might think to show some respect for others in the game.”

“Sorry, Batlle, can’t let you win. We’re playing Champions League next season.” You really enjoyed taunting her.

Ona huffed and stood up. As she walked away, she heard you call out to her. “See you on the pitch tomorrow, la matadora!”

There was nothing you could ever do to make yourself less hateful in her eyes.

It was matchday, kick-off time. Ona saw you on the other side of the midfield line. “Remember what you came here to do, and finish the job,” Marc had told them in the dressing room. He was right. She had a job to do, and she wasn’t about to let you ruin that for her.

They were to play with a high line today, which required Ona to stay near the midfield line and run back, should a forward slip through. About halfway through the first half, she had a startling realization; you were dropping back too, playing a number-10 role. It meant that she couldn’t do what she did last time you met, because there would be a gaping hole where she covers.

United was leading 1-0 by halftime, and while they had the advantage, the fight was far from over.

“Okay, ladies. Have a drink and take a seat,” Marc stood at the front of the dressing room. “We’re doing good, we’re holding them off. Keep up the pressure.”

Ona sat back to catch her breath. You were much more versatile than she thought, and maybe that was her mistake for underestimating you. It seemed too easy that you were giving her exactly what she wanted, playing high at the flank like she always does. There was more to it, but she needed to adapt.

Ona held your gaze for a moment across the field. You weren’t giving up. It seemed you were confident enough in whatever wicked plan you still had up your sleeve, that you sent her a smirk back.

It was the 70th minute of the game and they were so close to achieving it. Katie was looking for a pass, so Ona made herself available.

There was empty space near the side of the box, and she wanted to utilize it but it meant having to get past a couple of defenders.

“Vilde! 1, 2!” She called, passed the ball to her teammate, and started running. Her momentum was halted when Vilde’s ball was cut off and instantly launched forward.

The counterattack came so quickly, it must have been what you practiced. 1-1.

Suddenly, the tides have shifted. The momentum was with City. Time was running out, and the sudden goal disoriented her team. It took about five minutes for everyone to get their head back into the game, but Ona could tell City were used to having possession by then.

And then, in the 88th minute, you were given the ball from the left. Everyone except Alessia had dropped back to defend a series of dangerous balls up until now. You didn’t have anyone to pass to without getting intercepted, and you were outside of the box. So you took the shot. She watched helplessly as the ball flew past Mary into the top right corner.

1-2.

Ona’s body ran cold as she watched you celebrate with your teammates.

When the final whistle came shortly after, she collapsed on her knees.

Some of her teammates were there to console her, but she let their comfort pass through her. She needed to break something.

She needed to get away from everyone and found a spot near the bathrooms where she could catch her breath. Her boots were dangling from her hand by the laces. She slumped against a wall and began to cry, the boots clattering next to her on the floor.

It wasn’t that she was sad to have lost—she blamed herself for letting you get to her head. The interaction of the day before got her thinking what ifs. What if we didn’t meet under these circumstances? What if I could have just gotten to know you without wanting to rip your head off every time I see you?

You heard quiet sobs down the hallway and knew it was her. You had quickly gone into the tunnel when you didn’t see her anywhere on the pitch, but you certainly weren’t expecting to see her cry.

“Batlle?” You called.

She didn’t seem to notice you, sitting against the wall and wiping her face with her shirt.

“Hey, it’s okay.” That was a stupid thing to say considering you just beat her out of a Champions League spot, of course it’s not okay.

“I’m really not in the mood,” she said, looking away.

“You did good out there,” you said, watching her anxiously.

“Don’t act like you care,” she sniffled. “You got what you wanted.”

“I’m not as heartless as you think, Ona.” You quipped back. “I’m not sorry that we won, but I am sorry that you’re hurt.”

“Why are you doing this to me?” She sobbed and glared at you. It sent a chill down your bones. “I wish we had never met.”

How do you tell her that you never meant for things to go this way? That every word you had ever said to her didn’t stem from malice but from fear? You had wished to push her away so that you don’t collide with her head-on. How do you tell her that no matter how hard you tried, you still gravitated toward her?

“I’m sorry.” You repeated, like a fool.

She was hurting because of you.

You snuck a glance at the form of the girl in front of you, like you would be penalized if you were caught looking at her. You took a step back to go, but she held onto your arm and pulled your body against her.

You had been fantasizing about having your mouth against her for months, usually in absurd circumstances, like you two making out in a bed of roses or you giving her a kiss after she, a masked superhero, saved you from danger. Never like this, muscles aching, sweat coating your foreheads, wearing your respective uniforms—being so you doing this.

You wanted to enjoy it. Her lips were soft and salty, and she might have secured you by the waist against her. Your knees trembled as you sighed into her lips, pushing her against the wall gently. Your hesitancy soon turned into hunger, as you pressed your body into hers, desperate to feel her.

Murmurs in the distance snapped you out of it. “Where’s Ona?” You made out one of the voices saying.

You looked back at her, your faces just inches away. You never noticed, but she had so many beautiful freckles adorning her face.

“Ona—“ You said, but she quickly picked up her boots and left towards the voices.

Chest heaving and head spinning, you slumped against the wall with a small grin, bringing your fingers up to touch your lips where she had been.

“Where have you been?” Keira asked in the dressing room, but you just shook your head.

“Just to the bathroom.”

Sky Sports: Man City’s Talisman Y/N Y/L/N Nets Stunning Late Goal Against Man United To Secure UWCL Spot […]

a/n: this gif is so y/n and ona coded

#ona batlle x reader #ona batlle imagine #ona batlle imagines #ona batlle #woso #woso x reader #woso imagines #wwc23 #spain wnt #man united women

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iyney · 8 months

Text

— STARRING - Y/N’S FRIENDS ♡

THE HEART TO MY ALBUM — A SCARAMOUCHE SMAU

✩— [name] : A violinist who is taught to obey her mother’s orders throughout every obstacle she faces and comes across. She is second best in her classes and she elects herself into every extra course, she could put herself in. [name] holds her friends dear to her heart since that's the most freedom she can find, without it being through her mother’s orders and greed.

✩— ayaka : Kindhearted in the friend group, also the one that caught the eye of [name]’s mother and was exceptionally liked by her. Ayaka shows genuine care and compassion for [name]’s discontent with her mother’s attitude and control over her. Since she came from a hard-working, business family that usually avoided her getting attention from her parents often but resulted in tons of affection from her big brother. Ayaka can't help but be by her side at all times to show her comfort since she's usually allowed over at [name]’s house, the majority of the time — due to the strict orders placed by [name]’s mother.

✩— lumine : A trusted friend of [name]’s. Lumine is quite the responsible one in the group but also the one who complies with Hu Tao’s silliness and antics, creating a bundle of laughter and humorous jokes in the group. Lumine is also the one who tries to encourage [name] outside of the house more, and has a substantial loathing for her mother’s behavior and how it impacts [name].

✩— lynette : A little similar to Ayaka’s relationship with [name]’s mother but instead of getting approval from her, she was called ‘strange’ by [name]’s mother instead, from her lack of speaking as if she was a programmed robot. The biggest supporter and also a [name] defender, along with the other girls. Lynette's loyalty for [name] goes strong — all the way to middle school, where Lynette was picked on for being called “weird” from her lack of emotions but fortunately was defended by [name] on her side.

✩— hu tao : Hu tao is the second trusted friend of [name]’s. Hu Tao is honestly the one who manages to crack all the jokes in the friend group and honestly encourages all of them to hang out often at an event, coffee shop, or even at the Wanmin restaurant.

THE HEART TO MY ALBUM » masterlist : next

༉‧₊˚ SUMMARY: y/n was never passionate about her talent of being a violinist, mainly why she never spoke about it with grace in her words nor a shine in her eyes. But one evening, when she thought she would be alone in the music room, playing her violin. An indigo-headed boy accidentally finds his way into the humming room, following the beautiful tune that caught his ear, which turns out to be the second top student in his class, who ranks one rank lower than him and that's y/n. His presence, unfortunately, seems to go unnoticed by y/n as she’s merely focused on the strings of her violin as her fingers slowly prick the string down lightly — casting a soothing tune. Hearing this melody Scaramouche can't help but be intrigued by her aptitude and appearance that she seems to hold up very well. It was almost as if he wanted to know more about her, he had heard some interesting segments about her, and not just that but she had the second-highest score in their class. What else is there for this girl?

— taglist: @alatusorrow @veekoko @xtobefreex @scarasbaby @skyoverkill1 @iv-vee @7kkagami @1mewo1 @l3tus @hiraethhv @lovemari @feiherp @aruatsu @yoshhii @layla240 @phoenix-eclipses @0kauy @keiiqq @airorin @ridzu @saturnsapothecary @l1zzy-1s-c00l - if your blog isnt highlighted then that means i can’t tag you, please check your mention settings.

#the heart to my album ♡! smau #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #scaramouche x reader #scara x y/n #scaramouche smau #scaramouche x you #scaramouche x y/n #scaramouche #kunikuzushi x y/n #kunikuzushi x reader #kunikuzushi x you #wanderer x reader #wanderer x y/n #wanderer x you #genshin x reader #genshin smau #genshin impact smau

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walnutcookie · 4 months

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can i ask what cheddar's curse is :333333333 3 33333 :333 :#3333333333333333333333333333 :3:#3333

HI I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKEDDD. :33 THANK U SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK /GEN. you have unleashed hell i am about to write so many paragraphs /silly /pos

ok to rb!

I need to draw a picture of them without the shadow sometime but. basically that glint in the shadow over cheddars face?

thats not their eye. they dont have an eye there anymore. instead it is a jewel :]c a cheddarstone to be exact. And it is very cursed!

still need to figure out exactly how it goes but when the blue cheese manor burned down they reached for the cursed jewel that their family had and They survived! They technically cannot die! but living isnt exactly easy

inside of them is a ton of Dark almost ink-like goop,, its like. Anti-life force. It seeps through their skin slowly and if it seeps out too much cheddar has to fight for control. if it gets really bad they lose control entirely. the only way to keep it from seeping out is by absorbing pure life force. they can obtain it through being around someone as they die, but more effectively they can kill people themself. Which is pretty easy since!! touching anti-life force kills a person IMMEDIATELY literally all cheddar needs to do is touch someone and theyre dead.

of course, if people knew that she was doing this, theyd be arrested immediately so theyve found ways to be sneaky about it :]c

for one, they cover themself up as best as possible. Literally from the head down its completely covered - giant coat, gloves, boots, etc. plus the hat covers not only the jewel in their eye but the anti-life force goop growing on his face!!! They avoid being in crowds or tightly packed spaces and theyre careful not to ever touch someone - while the clothing helps, it doesnt completely negate the curse, so while a brush of the shoulder may not kill the person itll at least drain them which will look suspicious.

obviously this quote wasnt related but shh its about Universe A. to me

cheddar has basically made themself untouchable (both metaphorically and literally).

say, theoretically, they need to take another victim. theyre travelling with macaroni on oh, say, a train, and they find a random cookie isolated in a train car with nobody around to witness anything. they peel off their glove and put their hand on the victims mouth, muffling their scream and killing the person instantly, and then they gently lower the body down so it doesnt make a noise as it hits the floor. next they use a knife to stab the person a few times - theyre already dead, but since touching them wouldnt give any indicators toward the cause of death, they have the perfect opportunity to create a false story behind the murder of this cookie and frame someone else for it. all they need to do after that is call macaroni to come see and he'll practically do the work for them!!!

ive mentioned this on one of my posts before but i headcanon that macaroni. cannot. stand. mysteries. he has to have them solved ASAP otherwise he CANNOT rest easy. he wont be able to eat or sleep very well at all. it makes him so anxious as much as he loves mysteries

Cheddar uses this to their advantage! theyve created a person in macaroni's head - someone whos lazy, who doesnt put much effort into their work, someone who doesnt rely on real evidence very much. How would someone like cheddar manage to frame someone else for a murder theyve committed and get away with it? especially since cheddar is around macaroni 24/7 and hed never expect them to do something in like the five minutes that they sneak away. not to mention cheddar has been working for the cbi even longer than mac and why on earth would a cbi agent kill someone for (seemingly) no reason??? In reality cheddar is actually much smarter and observant than they make themself seem but mac is in HEAVY denial about it because he doesnt want to have to think about his work partner being a murderer. Better to come up with other solutions (which cheddar so generously offers to him by framing people) than to point the finger at cheddar and raise dozens more questions that may be left unanswered. Plus the thought that all of the deaths cheddar caused would technically partially be macs fault. And as much as cheddar annoys him, mac has grown pretty attached to them.

someone could literally yell at mac and say LOOK!!! CHEDDAR HAS BLOOD STAINS ON THEIR COAT OH MY GOD!!!!!!! and mac will just laugh and say Haha that must be from lunch yesterday :) LIKE. cheddar has just made the perfect alibi for themself. they can never be accused of any crime because mac will defend them no matter what just to keep his own sanity

all of the killing and murder and crime aside cheddar is. Fucking miserable. shes so insanely touch starved bro they havent had a hug since like 1806 (except for like one person CCOUXGGHT COUCGHE GOUCGH ROUCYEO CAPPUCCINO COUGH COUCGH SPUTTER COUGH thats another post entirely though if anyone sends an ask abt it ill talk about it) and they try to make themself seem unlikable towards macaroni and try to distance themself from people and avoid relationships because even just a high five or a brush of the shoulder could be fatal. its too much of a risk, and its not one theyre willing to take.

he is fucking Smitten for macaroni theyre so head over heels for that girl but they just! CANT!!!! they cant get close to him because then he might DIE and not only would they lose the person they love but that would mean that their precious alibi is gone and theyd have to be extra extra sneaky about things to make sure that nobody catches them committing crimes. not to mention because of the way they act macaroni fucking HATES HIM. one sided yuri my beloved

anyways yaay ill stop there before this post gets too long X] theres more stuff about these two (including actual yuriful fluff NO WAAY) if youre curuois or have any other questions just shoot me an ask id love to answer!!!!

as always i dont think this is canon by any means it is all just my silly headcanon au because i think cheddar should be fucked up As a treat👍have a nice day If you read all of this i loveyiu so much /p

#cheddar cheese cookie #macaroni cookie #cookie run au #🎉 rambles #universe a au #tw murder #murder #i guess ?#ask to tag

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sweatermuppet · 2 years

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hey i recently found your blog and i love your shit, any advice for writing? i feel like ive been in a rut the past few months but ive only started writing poetry the past few months, shits hard to do

it is hard! ive been writing only small, incomplete things lately. i think this is my most commonly asked question so im gonna point you in the direction of "ordinary genius: a guide for the poet within" by kim addonizio (links to a free pdf/epub copy). but in case you want some quick bites of advice here's the notes i took directly from her book myself:

think about setting up trouble + expectation. good poems avoid the predictable

poems may use unusual words but it's better to use simple words in surprising ways

poetry isn't what we think of as the ordinary, but what we feel + sense is underneath the ordinary, or inside it, or passing through it

the line, in poetry, has been called 'a unit of attention'. good definition. a good poem will reward close attention, line by line

description is important because it is evidence

i sometimes find myself wondering what there is to write about + whether i have anything left to say. if you sometimes feel like this, it's good to go back to the evidence of the external world, to pay attention to the music of what happens. the world won't ever fail you (last line was underlined in my notebook)

you don't have to understand something to be affected by it

by taking poems into your body, you will get closer to them (in reference to memorizing + rereading)

every single writer ive read has taught me something

the ability to begin, and then sustain, any kind of creative work means being able to tolerate ambiguity + uncertainty. confusion + questioning are part of the process for all writers, at all levels

keats 'negative capability': "when a man is capable of being in uncertainties, mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact + reason." the poetic state of mind isn't grasping. it isn't passive, either. receptive may be a better word

often, poems are not about what their writers know, but what they don't know. a poem can open a field of inquiry. if you know too much when you start out, your poem may fail because there is nothing to discover (last line was underlined in my notebook)

the essence of poetry: one thing in terms of another. and crucially, one thing waking another

metaphor is perception; that's why it is so key to creativity. when we tell ourselves what we see, we can use language to dull our awareness

if you want to make poetry out of emotional, personal subjects you have to step back (Chekhov's "necessary coldness")

that's 25+ chapters condensed down to little notes. addonizio also lists tons of great prompts that are too plentiful to put here, but the link above is completely free so if any of what i presented seems promising, there's a lot more to be had directly from addonizio herself <3

#anonymous #kim addonizio #poetry #on writing #free book #free pdf #writing resources #FAQ #on poetry #ordinary genius #long post

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falltothesun · 3 months

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helloooo taking you up on that hook up advice offer !! especially since im also a trans guy & ive been considering grindr bcos i have been insanely needy the past week it's literally making it hard for me to function so yes!! please!!!!

Hi omg! So I definitely joined Grindr for the same reason, I needed to get dicked down so bad it was starting to affect my work lmfao. Huge disclaimer: this is all a bunch of stuff that works for me, from my experiences. There's no handbook, I'm figuring this out myself. If anyone wants to correct me/add on, please do.

First and foremost- don't settle. Grindr is a bit of a hellscape. In the moment it definitely seems like anyone willing to fulfill your needs is worth it. I'm speaking as a total sub/bottom so there were definitely guys on Grindr who 'spoke my language', offered what sounded like a good time, but didn't have my best interests at heart. You can't put much trust in any stranger on a hookup app, but here are some good indicators of things to watch out for and avoid:

- blank profiles/no pics. You're going to get a ton of them. Dick pics do not count. Make sure you have a good image of the person you're meeting. Make sure they're clean (both hygiene and std wise). Just- the more info you have on them, the better.

- being pushy. They're going to whine and whine about meeting up, and they are also going to say nasty things if you ignore them/turn them down. Do not let this guilt you. If this is how they receive boundaries over text- you can't trust them during a hookup. You don't owe anyone anything, not even a text back. A huge green flag is when you can have a no-pressure conversation, and sometimes even a pre-meetup to discuss boundaries and kinks.

Do not get stingy on your own boundaries! You are meant to enjoy this time, too. Tell them exactly what you want, your hard nos and hell yesses. Clear communication beforehand can lead to a fantastic night. Don't worry about blocking or turning down if you're getting bad vibes- there's literally dozens of guys waiting in your DMs, one of them has to be good.

Now, I have huge trust issues so bear with me here- you can't always count on your hookup, even if you found one that checks all the aforementioned boxes. So have some contingencies. Here are some of mine:

- two (or three) of my friends get a text as soon as I leave my house. Yes, it's awkward to mention to someone that you're about to fuck, but prior conversations have been had and usually I just say "I'm going out for x hours, call me if I don't get back to you by then". I send my location if possible (harder to do with carplay), and just like that, there are people waiting for my word. Hell, you can DM me your location and a timeframe and I will call the police in your area if I don't hear back from you.

- I never host. Is this controversial? I don't care. I'm a sub, bottom, afab, tiny human. I'm super susceptible to stalking and kidnapping (and not in the fun way), so I keep myself safe by making sure my hookups don't know where I live. I like to drive to their place, because then I have myself a getaway vehicle, or we meet in the middle somewhere. Regardless, my home is a secret and shall stay that way.

- don't bring anything valuable. Other than my phone and my wallet (which I sometimes just leave in my car), I bring nothing with me. This is less about personal safety and more about theft tho lol

-bring protection. Rawdogging is fun but STDs and pregnancy scares are not.

-this is Grindr specific but be careful with your photos. Grindr has a neat function called 'albums', and you can retract any sent albums at anytime so they can't be seen anymore. You also can't screenshot anything in the Grindr app. This protects you- to a point. But like anywhere else on the internet, be very, very careful with who you send your pics to.

Takes you by the shoulders. Listen to me. It is always okay to say no. You could be in someone's bed, naked, and you can say no. This sounds like common sense, but sometimes you're with a stranger in the moment and things aren't firing right in your brain, but your well-being is 100% a bigger priority than pleasing the guy you met on Grindr. They can bitch and moan all they want, but if you aren't feeling it, you aren't feeling it, and you don't owe sex to anyone. You can say no at any time. And anyone who fights you on it or disregards it is not someone you want to associate with.

Ok now that all the parental lecture-y stuff is out of the way- some general tips to show your hookup partner some respect! They're also in a place of vulnerability, so while it's good to be careful, it's also good to be gracious.

-protection. I said this already! But you can bring more than just a condom. Looking into PrEP, getting yourself tested(!!!!) after every encounter, and not having sex when you're sick is generally good etiquette. Getting tested is not only being a decent human for your hookup partner, but it's important to do for yourself as well. Idk what country you live in and what the healthcare is like so hopefully it's as easy as walking in to a clinic like it is here. Post-sec institutes (colleges/universities) usually have fantastic sexual health programs as well so I'd check there if you're in that demographic!

- clean up. Please. Shower, brush your teeth, put on some deodorant and a clean change of clothes. It goes a long way! My best hookups have been with a guy who smelled good, and I enjoyed it as much as I did the actual pounding in his backseat. Also clean up after the hookup! Shower, pee, etc. Hygiene. (I'm a germaphobe ok)

- boundaries! You've set yours, now stick to theirs. I've slept with guys who really didn't like blowjobs- so I didn't give any, we kept it junk to junk. I might've been the sub in the situation, but that doesn't mean the guy dominating was a sex machine who liked everything, so I accommodated that! Sometimes it's as simple as listening to the sounds they're making, reading the body language, and acting accordingly. If they aren't being enthusiastic about what's happening, then maybe it's time to check in.

- text back. Hey man, if it was a good fuck, it was a good fuck. NSA is usually my style, but there's nothing wrong with hooking up again with the same mf if it was a damn good time. Give 'em some feedback, tell them you had a fantastic night, ask about doing it again. Everyone needs the confidence boost.

Goddamn this got long. I hope some of this helps, I hope I didn't miss anything, and I hope I didn't say something that sounds completely fucking bananas. Good luck and hope you have some good, safe hookups!!

#from sun #ask #serious #this is ooc but i care about your safety more than an online persona

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sneakyscarab · 6 months

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hello! it's been a while since ive written out my thoughts about touhou! part of the reason why is that i've been working on a website of my own, which now hosts all my grimoire of nina entries with enhanced bonus features! plus a lot of other things on other pages but this is the relevant part to this post. i'm not sure whether i want to continue making tumblr versions of the posts now that i've set this up, but for now im gonna do both a tumblr edition and a neocities edition. with that out of the way lets get started on...

Touhou 1-5 PC98 Extravaganza!

after finishing the main series (and taking a probably needed break from bullet hells for a bit) I went back to the beginning and checked out the first wave of Touhou, the 5 PC98 games!

putting this up front, while i absolutely respect what these games did to kick off the series and get things going, i cant say i was very fond of them, so the overall tone of this writing is on the neutral to negative side. just something i feel i should note. with that said, let’s get started.

Touhou 1 - Highly Responsive to Prayers

Highly Responsive to Prayers is a weird game. contrary to what one would expect, the First Touhou Game is not a vertical scrolling shooter like others. HRtP is instead a sort of breakout/arkanoid type game, where you control a miko-shaped paddle named Reimu running back and forth bouncing a giant yin-yang orb that clears up tiles, beating a stage once you’ve cleared the screen. it does actually have whispers of the series’ future though, with turrets in levels that shoot bullets towards you, Reimu having a amulet-shooting ability (influence the orb's movement), screen-clearing bombs, and menacing boss fights.

you heard me right, this breakout clone has boss fights, and theyre kinda wild. every 5th stage is a boss, which have big hitboxes and shoot out tons of bullets and other attacks which you have to simultaneously avoid while also manipulating your orb in order to hit the boss (because only the orb does damage). After beating the first boss youre given a branching path between Makai or Hell, and either choice gives you 15 more stages for a total of 20.

overall HRtP is a very bizarre and not particularly great game, but its uniqueness makes it really stand out, and if you're in the market to play a weird breakout/bullet hell game for whatever reason you should try it out.

Touhou 2 - Story of Eastern Wonderland

now This is a Touhou game! released alongside HRtP at Comiket 52, Story of Eastern Wonderland is what i would say is the true first Touhou game, being a vertical scrolling shooter with 6 stages, fancy boss fights, and ridiculous characters.

right out of the gate SoEW shows off how wacky the PC98 era lore is, with the first stage containing not one but two military tanks as boss fights. the third stage's boss as well is a weird metallic wall with 5 "eyes" and innumerable laser cannons. its wild. as for gameplay, it's pretty much what you would consider Standard Touhou, although with some features missing that havent been invented yet, notably the movement-slowing Focus mechanic.

one interesting thing about this game is the colour choice: likely due to palette restrictions pretty much the entire game is a combo of red+purple, with the occasional blue+green sprites. even marisa is not immune, having bright red hair only in this game alongside a purple robe+hat.

its very surprising how close SoEW already is to the modern gameplay loop, although i guess it shouldnt be Too surprising considering scrolling shooters are like one of the first game genres ever made. its a pretty fun time, but also pretty rough around the edges.

Touhou 3 - Phantasmagoria of Dim. Dream

if you thought we would stablize into the regular style now that we've seen SoEW, you'd be off the mark. Phantasmagoria of Dim Dream is actually a VS game in the same style as the later PoFV and UDoALG titles! it was really surprising to me seeing just how much experimentation was going on with the series this early in its lifespan, but I suppose that happened a lot back then.

in terms of gameplay PoDD plays surprisingly similar to PoFV, with the same enemy combos, sending spells at each other through a charge meter, and summoning yourself as a boss fight on the other guy's screen as an ultimate move. it even has the same insane boss summon rebound mechanic and the same cheating bastard final boss ai!

one funny difference is that, since faeries hadnt yet been established as go-to mooks, the enemies during duels are a variety of random things. besides ghosts you just have star, moon, or heart shapes with ' ' and ^^ faces. theyre so abstract I kinda love it lol.

like SoEW its surprisingly functional for its age, although also like that game it still lacks features like focus, leaving it being unpolished in comparison to newer variations of this formula. unless youre a PC98 enthusiast id recommend playing PoFV or UDoALG instead, especially since the multiplayer on this one is local-only.

Touhou 4 - Lotus Land Story

now things are starting to standardize. Lotus Land Story is another vertical scrolling shooter and adds in a bunch of features not in SoEW that would go on to be series mainstays: focus, boss phases, boss item drops, and most notably having Marisa as a deuteragonist! if SoEW was a standard touhou missing some features, LLS is taking steps to a full on touhou game, missing just a few mechanics from EoSD, notably the spell card system and point-of-collection line.

LLS is also notable for a few other reasons, one being the character Yuuka who is one of the few PC98 characters to get remade in the windows games, and the other being the origin of the iconic song Bad Apple!! which got remixed by nomico and memed half to death.

Its pretty good, albeit still rough around the edges and missing the sort of spark thats found in later entries.

Touhou 5 - Mystic Square

Mystic Square is where we settle in, playing identical to LLS, which means theres not much to talk about. there are 2 more playable characters than LLS, with both Mima and Yuuka. Mystic Square also includes the 4th and final PC98 character to get remade later in the Windows canon, Alice Margatroid. besides the name and the blonde hair though theres pretty much nothing connecting the two Alices together. if you liked Lotus Land Story you'll probably like this too, i dunno.

alrighty with all those games out of the way its time to talk about the characters of note. and of course if theres one name thats synonymous with PC98 its...

Mima! appearing in four of the five games of this era, Mima is the most consistent character besides Reimu and Marisa, and yet she has never been seen since Mystic Square. this may be a hot take, but i think Mima is emblematic of a lot of the qualities of this era that make it hard to get into from a story perspective. for starters, Mima is incredibly inconsistent. She shows up 4 times and is basically a different character each time; being a random Hell boss in HRtP, a vengeful spirit bent on destroying all humanity (except Marisa i guess?) in SoEW, a woman of few words and a short temper in PoDD, and a snarky bully who tells blatant lies just to see how people react in MS. she also has a weird conceptual design and wack power scaling, being a ghost who was never alive, always been a ghost, who also for some reason has like dragon wings but only when she gets angry (Marisa also has these in PoDD which is really bizarre) and shes able to simply escape being magically sealed away as if she was cracking the seal on a pickle jar and casually beats up everyone in Mystic Square without even blinking. While i do like elements of her character (her lying bastard personality from MS is pretty funny and I see why people would want that back) i think its for the best that she stays in the PC98 era, the one seal she cannot break free of. If she were to come back, so much would have to be rewritten either of the world around her or Mima herself that she would basically be a different character entirely, which i think would cause way more drama than her return is worth.

moving on, lets talk about Genjii! this old fart is basically Reimu's grandpa who is also a magical flying turtle. since Reimu doesnt know how to fly in these games, her pops Genjii gives her a ride whenever she needs to go solve an incident. He also acts as a straight-man to Reimu's comedy in her storylines, often questioning the bizarre things that she says or weird noises she makes. he's just a funny turtle grandpa and i'm here for it. while Genjii has never officially appeared in a game in the Windows era, ZUN has stated that the reason is that he's just enjoying his retirement. Reimu can fly on her own now, so he's just resting in the pond out behind the shrine, doing whatever it is grandpa turtles do in their free time. good for him :>

the last character spotlight is for Meira! she's a cool samurai lady from stage 2 of SoEW who was also Reimu's gay awakening :P (for context, Meira and Reimu's pre-battle conversation is a bit where Meira claims to seek the Hakurei Maiden [for her power] but Reimu assumes that Meira's hitting on her. After clarifying that Meira wants to fight Reimu and take her power after winning, Reimu counter-offers by implying that she'll take Meira as her girlfriend if she wins.) this was almost certainly just intended as a joke, but considering that Touhou Project is basically a yuri wonderland its very funny to see gay implications in literally the second spoken conversation in the entire series. besides that, Meira also has cool attacks utilizing her sword where she makes huge slashes in the air that explode into bullets after a second, which were probably inspiration for Youmu's sick swordplay five games later.

and thats the PC98 era! with these games under my belt ive now played each whole-numbered entry in the series, woo~! so having played them all, what are my thoughts on the origins of Touhou?

i'll start by clarifying that i am generally not a 'Retro Gamer'. while i acknowledge the importance of early entries into series, they are very frequently rough, unpolished, or just straight up unfun because the devs are still working out the kinks on how they want the series to go. this is doubly so for games from this pre-2000s era, where game design in general was still a new concept and most games were working off arcade standards of high difficulty to steal quarters. early Touhou is not exempt from this, these games are missing a lot of features added later that make the games more fun, and the difficulty is much higher with a lot more 'bullshit' design like bullets that spawn on your character or a lack of proper resources given on respawn leading to a cycle of death.

all said, i cant say i really enjoyed my time with the PC98 titles. you may have noticed that i didn't mention 1cc runs so far in this article, and the reason for that is i couldnt find the motivation to keep trying for more runs like i did with the future games. mix that in with the bizarre, nonsensical, and often self-contradictory writing and you have a recipe for mediocrity. PoDD in particular is an absolute dearth of writing and worldbuilding. most character interactoins are like one sentence long, and the plot involves two scientists on a "Probability Space Hypervessel" who somehow invited in the characters from Gensokyo to the real world so that they could capture them and steal their magic for clout. In Marisa's route after she beats them up they give her a weapon as a reward which is a ICBM with a smiley face that Marisa names Mimi-chan and rides around instead of her broom. like its all so ridiculous you can just tell that these were like student projects done by a dude in his free time and not a serious attempt at making a world or story.

overall i just really have trouble finding passion for these titles compared to the later entries, to the point that i had to shove all 5 of these games into a single article and its about as much writing as Subterranean Animism alone. im sorry if youre a big PC98 and/or Mima enjoyer but theyre not for me, and i have to say im glad that Touhou moved on and evolved past this point.

thank you for reading, and i'll see you next time, whenever that is!

#grimoire of nina #touhou #touhou pc98 #touhou 1 #touhou 2 #touhou 3 #touhou 4 #touhou 5 #touhou project #highly responsive to prayers #story of eastern wonderland #phantasmagoria of dim. dream #lotus land story #mystic square #wow thats a lot of tags lmao woops

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vixenbydestroyboys · 4 days

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omg guys I think it might be time to download Yazio again.. idk if theres better apps, but yeah

I might weigh myself for the first time in like... a year? maybe longer? I'm not sure

I still will not post stats on this page, I know I still need to remake my other account, I just am so lazy tbh

I might call my old doctor and ask to be put on anoretics again. she did it when I told her not to because I struggle with an 3D, but I took myself off them cuz it was expensive. so I'm sure shed do it in a heartbeat if I actually asked. she always said that my weight was better when I was 4n4rexic anyways .

I just want to be small. for once. I was called the hulk in elementary, even by my teachers. I've always been, objectively, huge. I just.

I just .. need to have control. I want to be respected. idk. this is the only way I know how to lose weight

I'm disabled and can't really exercise besides sit ups or crunches. I would swim but uh. we all know what side of Tumblr I'm on, can't really go to the pool a ton.

idk man. I just want to be as frail as I feel. I'm tired of being the butt of the joke, the one people look over, doctors ignoring everything that's wrong with me. I want to be able to buy clothes in person, I want to be able to wear things I see other people wear and look nice. I want to be respected off bat, and not have people doubt me because of my size. I want to stop being the size people fear so much they'd rather k!ll themselves than look like me. I want to stop being the thing people fear so badly they'll ruin their lives and health just to avoid the possibility of looking like me. Ive never had that before, not once in my life.

I just need those p!lls and to cut down on everything. in middleschool I lived off mints and milk for months. I can do that again

I can do that again

and this time it can work.

#988blr

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fearowkenya · 5 months

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😂😂😅😅 I keep saying I'll leave a comment proper on ao3.... I swear it'll happen...

But anyway, I just caught up on your "Winds of change" fic, chapter 5 is such a nice transitory chapter. Very sweet and soothing for what's to come LOL I like Shuuji's suspiciousness of the other partnermon because they're rooted in observation that have the right amount of ambiguity to make him feel like he's losing his mind lol Specially with how the others don't seem to acknowledge them at all lol In Saki's case, she's in her feelings and wary and keeping on her ever avoidsnt facade, so it makes sense she doesn't wanna put her hands to the fire. Aoi is always about holding herself back, specially if it could be something disruptive so it makes sense she wouldn't say anything either lol If it's something in her mind, she's gonna over think it and talk about it privately to Takuma or Labramon, whoever feels pertinent, later so 😂 Tough luck, Shuuji. It's harder for me to tell if Miu picks on anything, it could go either way lol But yeah, the doubt about his own perceptions works well for his general anxious demeanor.

I love the way you write Labramon lol Her strong personality and the inherently bossy way she carries herself really comes across lol Very resolute. Agumon also came across so sweetly, that sort of hilarious and apparently simple-minded loud and surprised reactions from him that still underscore how emotional and sensitive he is was really good. And ofc, Miu holding then together and relaxing the atmosphere with her antics was great as well.

seriously, there's no rush or obligation! it means a lot to me that you're reaching out on tumblr to comment (:

oh phew, im so happy to hear that it feels like a good transition between 'arcs'.

yeah, i'm actually having a lot of fun exploring shuuji in this post-waterway but pre-10daytimeskip period of time. ive talked about it before, but i noticed theres not a ton of interaction between shuuji and the others (other than takuma and ryo) that the player gets to see after he makes amends with lopmon and before part8.

based on how shuuji is much more respected by the group after takuma is back from the other side, i think there was a lot of effort on his part to smooth the feathers he ruffled before he underwent that personal growth. it's a shame we don't get to see it in-game, but i know im having (and am going to have) a lot of fun thinking about shuuji trying very hard to build or rebuild relationships with his peers after botching a few of them (notably kaito, though i will say that while i DO have plans for writing kaito-shuuji interaction, they're outside the scope of what im covering in winds of change).

BUT yeah, all this to say, these stunted relationships he has with the group at this point in time is why it's so hard for him to discern if other people's partners are deliberately hiding things from him. jumping to conclusions has only caused problems for him in the past, so he's trying to avoid it and think about things rationally. but that's hard when he has no frame of reference for how the digimon "normally act" , and you're right, the lack of acknowledgement of "suspicious" behavior from the human partners makes it even harder for him to tell if something's off.

i was SOOOO surprised at how fun and easy labramon was for me to write!! i was actually pretty worried about it at first. labramon's a lot more complex than i gave her credit for - i mean obviously the way she treats aoi is FAR different to how she treats everyone else, but i do think that the snark and bossiness is just her way of conveying that she's confident in her methods and wants to use those methods to keep the others safe. she's such a delightful contrast to aoi but if i get into that now we'll be here all day. glad you enjoyed how i portray her! agumon is fun too, he's just so genuine <3 it's very comforting to hear that i'm doing okay with miu too. as much as i love her, i think she's the toughest for me to write after saki.

thank you again so so much for taking the time to write such a long and thoughtful comment. i really do appreciate it!! <3 you have a really solid grasp on the characters as well, so i'm always happy to hear your insight! (:

#the ask tag #digimon survive spoilers ///#survive spoilers //

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hollowtones · 2 years

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ive been listening to your mhr vods as background for when i work or do anything and i gotta say i love how, like what some people generally take as a negative you find such joy in like the way monsters chase hunters or general design choices for the game itself. just very nice to hear as a change of pace

I think it's cool when "you're fighting some kinda big dude" type video games make 'em feel like huge imposing threats. In "Monster Hunter" specifically there's a whole ton of attention and care put into the movesets and animations of each monster, such a strong understanding of weight and momentum (maybe a bit less so in the sense of Realistic Physics & more so in the sense of exaggerated, cartoony flow of movement).

It's why I really enjoy boss fights in something like "Dark Souls" as well. Here's this huge, oppressive opponent, with a threatening presence and really powerful, impactful attacks to back that up! They're relentless threats, but if you're paying attention you can figure out how to find weak points, find patterns, find openings, capitalize on them & turn the tide. It's a very fun mix of a relentless rhythm and a puzzle!! I like that about it!! Admittedly I think of a lot of video games in the context of being a puzzle, but it feels REALLY GOOD to figure out the solution to "here's the huge dude rearing up for a gigantic punishing blow, how can you position yourself to avoid this, or maintain aggression to prevent this?"

That, & if the monster's being more aggressive & focusing its attention on me, if I play my cards right it means I just get to pound its skull in more often. >:+)

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awsugar · 1 year

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🐾🧸I have something to admit. When the boys broke I never listened to their solo work because I was so upset and hurt. But reading your post about Millions and Where Do We Belong? Anywhere But Here... I had to go and listen and just.. Ow. Just ow. Frank is/was so so hurt. So now my questions are

1. What other songs have they written that talk about this hurt?

2. Because Frank wears his heart on his sleeve, do we know if Jamia knew about it?/Was ok with what Frank and Gee had? Cause like.. Frank was very clearly hurt. More so then just friends going their separate ways.

3. What other things have you heard down the grapevine?

4. The 1st reunion show, there was very clearly some animosity/ stiffness/coldness on stage, why do you think it was like this? Like I feel like if they wanted to reunite they would've hashed that all out before hand right? But then covid happened and we wait 2 years and then we finally get to see them again, and they've changed. They're happy again.

sorry this took me so long to respond to !!!! ive been either working or depressed and tired mostly. im glad it was so apparent to you from listening....cause it really is like a slap in the face tbh.

frank has a TON of songs about that relationship, or that at least mention it? i think sometimes his songs reference multiple things but like there are soooo many songs that are at least partially about gerard. weighted (more about the end of the band, at least in part, like i said), stitches, guilttripping, all i want is nothing, diluted, why is love so disastrous?, choke on one another, where are my fucking pills?, underneath it all, possibly i dont know much but i know i loathe you, world destroyer, they wanted darkness, ill let you down, oceans, the resurrectionist, viva indifference, young and doomed (lol), fever dream, the host, basement eyes,ode to destruction, medicine square garden, record ender.....im serious i know i probably sound insane but there is at least one line in all of these songs that i believe are about that. gerard has way less solo stuff first of all, but also just doesnt write about it as much i thnk because its not the heartbreak perspective, from his perspecting at least in millions like hes not nearly as torn up about it so like hes just not giving it quite thhe same brain power, plus his lyrics are more like metaphor and storytelling than strictly personal like franks so it makes sense. but the bridge of no shows is VERY about the band to me.

i tend to try to avoid talking about family members of the band who are not public figures, because i think thats the most respectful option. and that stuff isnt my business. but frank has talked about being in an open relationship at the beginning of the band before, and also theres the swinger allegations. ill just say that i dont think he was ever cheating, physically or emotionally, and that everything was known and communicated.

i think that things were a little stiff at the shrine due to nerves mostly tbh. they hadnt done it in so long and they didnt know what the reception would be. i really think it was all nerves. because i think they absolutely had to put in work to repair that relationship before making the decision to play a show and go on tour. so i do chalk it up to more just being out of practice and being nervous rather than them not being close/friendly at that time. i think theres also a level of like anxiety around being to affectionate/friendly in fron of fans these days and they were still trying to figure out then how they would approach that. because i do think that thats a thing, but sometimes they also slip through that and now they DO show each other affection on stage sometimes so. you know. its a process i guess.

#anonymous #asks

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sewercentipede · 2 years

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in other news my husband bought me a new laptop!!!!!!! :)))))) since my macbook is 10 years old and for the last few years has been almost completely unusable(so much of its software and hardware is fucked up and nothing ive tried has fixed its issues, it cant get its iOS updated anymore, it always has to be plugged in to work, and its so slow it cant run more than one program at a time), it is essentially a paperweight. this new laptop is specifically for gaming and he got it for half off (like its normally about $1k but for some reason electronic stores did black friday deals super early) and its brand new, not refurbished, and not an apple (aka shitty) product. he picked it up for me today while i was sleeping so it was just here when i woke up like it was christmas day

ive been customizing stuff on it and playing around with it to get a feel for it. i havent tried to run any games yet but i downloaded witcher 3 (since its a pretty taxing game i think itll be a good performance test), and it installed in like 10 minutes. if that game runs without issue then i bet if i got an extra stick of 8gb ram i could run freaking anything, even games like metro exodus and cyberpunk. altho my desktop PC is an absolute beast and can run any game--my husband built it for me in 2016 for my birthday and even tho it could run cyberpunk surprisingly well with those specs, he recently replaced the graphics card, mother board, and doubled the ram so it's basically a tank of a gaming PC now--i cant take that thing on trips obviously. which i have to do more often than i would like. i really needed a functioning laptop, so im super excited!!!!

in my opinion i dont deserve such a nice thing at all, or even the PC i have, especially because i havent had an income since 2019. but my husband disagrees lol he fuckin rules, i love him. aside from how much he takes care of my chronically ill ass and puts up with my shit, financially supports me, does countless things for me out of pure selflessness, always wants to make me feel good, im always amazed by the thoughtful way he gives me gifts without needing to ( its never my bday or a holiday ykwim). theyre either total surprises to me that blow me away bc the level of attention and care that went into it, or its practical things that hes like "im getting this thing for you bc you need it and you deserve nice tools instead of settling for crap, idc what you think!!!!!!"

he even bought me a brand new iphone too since my iphone is 7yrs old, cant get updated past iOS 12 meaning i cant use or download a ton of apps i rly need and its constantly running out of space and starting to have battery issues. ive been avoiding getting a new one for a long time cuz ive been clinging to having an audio jack but the phone has become so obsolete software-wise that it is more problem than its worth just to have an audio jack. although the new phone has yet to arrive which is frustrating cuz he ordered it 3 weeks ago and it still says its in the order stage, not even shipped.

regardless i feel so sugared rn lmao. im gonna play witcher 3 on this laptop and see how it runs :3

#so many nice things i dont deserve but he gets for me bc he loves me..... and its not like hes made of money. we were homeless a year ago #he lives on veteran pension and govt grants and scholarships #so these gifts r not insignificant like it would be for a rich person #he just wants the best for me bc he loves me uwu #isnt that what love is tho--wanting the world for ur partner #no matter the cost #when hes done w school and gets a job hes like extremely insistent on buying me a new car n buying us a house #since my dad has my car and hes not taking care of it at all i had to beg him to get the oil changed last time i visited him:(#and i rly love my car so it hurts seeing it get neglected and fall into disrepair....#dear god im writing an essay in these tags

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bonesandthebees · 2 years

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Theory about where things are going with Tommy, Wilbur, and this tension

I think that Wilbur is going to be the one to apologize, or at least bring things up first

I'm fully prepared to be wrong. This is just me putting it out there so I can have bragging rights if I'm correct. I just feel that things are going that way because of Wilbur's character arc. He's been so evasive, and this entire fic, he's been trying to avoid talking to Tommy. Tommy feels so out of the loop, and like he has to do it right back to Wilbur. This point in the story is the most extreme end of that. Wilbur walks away from Tommy, like he had metaphorically been doing over and over again ever since they got to Zephys IV. Then he turns back, wondering if Tommy was still there, and he wasn't. He had walked away as well. A taste of Wilbur's own medicine.

Wilbur has always been the one to raise the stakes. Tommy just meets him there. I think it has to be him who takes the first steps on the path towards healing. He's just not ready yet

Also, I'm sorry, cause I know it's probably gonna be hard to respond to this lmao. I've been on that end of the equation before with my own fics. Sorry!

Last bit: your dialogue is so well done, holy crap. Actual question time: how do you make your dialogue that good?

🔥 (4/4)

ooooo very interesting theory! love to see your reasoning for it. again, can't say anything on it, but ty for sharing! definitely giving everyone else who sees this some food for thought.

you're totally fine tho sharing it. like i said, i love seeing your guys theories. I just hope you don't mind my lackluster response to them since I can't say much

aaa and thank you so much!! tbh for most fics I write, dialogue is pretty effortless. I don't have to think about it much because it's always been my strongest writing skill. but stars is a whole other beast entirely. I have to think SO much about every line of dialogue I write, especially when it comes to any interaction between phil and wilbur. it means so much to hear that the dialogue is good because I put a ton of effort into it.

now to answer your question: when it comes to the dialogue in stars, I usually have a goal in mind for the conversation. usually that goal is relationship progression, in either a positive or negative way. a lot of times this ties in with plot progression, or just giving wilbur information he didn't have before. but no conversations are pointless. I try to focus on what I want to get out of the conversation as I write it, but I also try to let it flow in a natural sounding way. I have a goal in mind for what I want them to talk about, but sometimes I take detours with certain lines or tangents I let the characters go on if I feel it still serves the greater purpose of the conversation, even if I didn't plan for them to talk about something like that. of course this sometimes means I have to delete huge chunks of dialogue if I realize it doesn't work with the overarching plot (had to do that last night writing phil and wilbur's convo) but most of the time it works out pretty well.

I dunno if that's helpful, but the tldr answer is to have a goal in mind for a conversation, but also let it flow on its own if it wants to take another direction! hear your characters voices in your head, and let them guide you as best you can!

ty for your wonderful analysis flame anon! and again, welcome to the named anon club! excited to see your future thoughts :)

#ask #flame anon #the stars and their children #bones writes

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eirian · 1 year

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Just some general advice as I see your posts on occassion on my feed and your current breakdowns on your financials but my guy you should probably get a standard job along side your art.

I say this mostly in a place of I've been there done that sort of thing, I used art to support myself for years while also working a regular 9-5 and while eventually I discovered that doing art fulltime wasn't my thing I can't stress enough that not going forward and getting a regular job to support yourself and your wife when you know you are just barely making it (in your own words) is a borderline lazy thing to do.

Your financials are a major priorty and it shows a lack of character when you can't see that you need to make an effort in a different position. And as someone who also immensely struggles with mental illness also I can tell you that getting that regular 9-5 can help alot with your health. Like for one it can get you moving so minimal excersise is taken care of, possible better money flow and a break from the computer also helps with settling your thoughts. It can be stressful and exaughsting but having a concrete ground of what you're doing along side of art also may give you some piece of mind.

I implore you to just start looking for a regular job to take off some of the stress and it could defo help you loose weight to just from little things that you crowd out

Joint pain is avoided with excersise, breathing problems lifted with regular activity and a little stamina training

San antonio is a booming economic city there are a shit ton of jobs you can get and i know it can be overwhelming especially when mental illness can hold you back but in a loving sense you fr just need to pick yourself up by the bootstraps and get shit done or else you're always going to suffer man

i super appreciate this sentiment and im not going to get defensive like my initial reaction usually is to someone telling me to "get a real job" b/c i do see youre genuinely trying to help me out and give me advice so thank you

my problem honestly is that i dont see myself as fit to having a "job job" as i am right now. i feel like all im good at/able to do is art, and thats why i put all of my effort into that. basically i dont have enough confidence in my abilities outside of art :(

constant thoughts of "what if it makes me miserable? what if i do a horrible job b/c its not art?" and etc. yknow? i feel like i need to work on myself mentally a little still

like to be fair i have looked for in person jobs around san antonio, on MULTIPLE occasions. ive had a few interviews even. ive held a job for a couple months at an aquarium (granted it was art--caricatures) but that was a couple years ago and i was in a worse mental place than i am right now so it only lasted a couple months and i was like..miserable, even though i was doing art. everywhere else i had an interview just didnt want me bc of my lack of experience (which is stupid bc i was genuinely making an effort to get these jobs and how else am i supposed to get experience if not from Your Business like????? cmon. anyway)

a major problem even outside of myself is that, between my wife and i, we only have one car. i am planning to learn to drive genuinely and getting my own vehicle, but right now we only have one ride between us, and she has a full time job so she cant take care of driving me to my job all the time and i wouldnt want to put that on her anyway. so thats also an issue we run into when it comes to me having a job job

trust me i do on occasion look for "actual" jobs outside of my commissions. ive applied to a lot and nobody ever gets back to me or if they do they dont want me, which both very much hurt my confidence in getting a job outside of art but thats another issue i think. if i want to get a non-art job i think i'll be forced to try a work from home route like data entry again or something

again, i thank you for wanting to help and i appreciate it and apologize for basically responding with a bunch of excuses but i want you to understand my position as well u_u/ i dont post a lot (if..at all) about when i do non-art job searches bc i never feel like theyll work out and so far they havent but i honestly havent given up the idea, i do think about this a Lot, way more than i let on, and i do go back and forth searching for non-art jobs on occasion when things feel really rough. so its not something thats lost on me

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