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#ive been working on it for like 4 days straight
zephyrine-gale · 1 year
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deliverance (ft. a little bird that didn’t make the cut)
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exsqueezememacaroni · 4 months
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gods I love Mike's voice
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astrxealis · 18 days
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hiii :333 i think i am alive !! ( small update in da tags )
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aphelion-i-c · 1 year
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charm previews ....!!
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rosykims · 1 year
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having rly bad burnout + executive dysfunction is so so so much worse when i have to pencil in my creativity on top of like. cooking and cleaning and also my god given right to do nothing at all
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orcelito · 1 year
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perhaps also related to the fact that i am scheduled to close this weekend with the person who was apparently laughing about how a year ago there was a supervisor chat without me Specifically for the purpose of shit talking me
and im supposed to treat her graciously after that? get Fucking real.
#speculation nation#negative/#like. i will. i'll treat her politely as is expected of me working with someone i dont like#even though that wasn't a courtesy extended to me by the people last year. including her apparently!#i dont know why she's come back. i want to gut her like a fish.#i dont think i mentioned that but i learned a few weeks ago that she was laughing about this to a few employees#who called her out for it. which makes me feel very grateful to them.#how fucking immature though. resorting to bullying and ostracizing in a workplace environment.#this was the bullshit that had me fucking Sobbing bc of it all. and you're Laughing about it?#you saw the day that girl screamed at me & how i cried for a half hour straight in storage#until i finally pulled myself together enough to work (though i was still next to tears for Hours)#me. a person who cries Maybe 4 times a year. if even. it had me struggling that hard to not cry.#and this is Funny to you? it's Funny that i was treated like that? just because you all didnt like me bc i was Too Confrontational?#a: im as confrontational as i need to be to avoid problems festering. as a grown fucking adult should be.#and b: even if you didnt like me that's still fucked UP#what the fuck is WRONG with you people??????? why do you take so much glee from my pain?#and again. in a fucking place of work. i know it's food service but Please. have some basic fucking professionalism.#i dont know how im supposed to get through this shift. im so fucking angry at it all.#the anger and frustration has been cycling faster and faster in my heart and i want to Hurt Things but there's nothing im allowed to hurt#so what am i to do? how do i get rid of this feeling? i know what ive done in the past but im not allowed to do that now#with nothing to do im just blasting this fucking song. maybe if i play it loud enough it'll fix me.
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pepprs · 2 years
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ok update i just finished making my card and i said / drew (lol) basically everything i wanted to say in it (except for the things i definitely can’t say now that this is happening lol). so i think maybe i might be ok with not saying what i want to say directly to her. but then when i say that im not ok with it at all LOLLLL so i think i need to sleep on it and maybe see what tomorrow brings
#purrs#sobbed hysterically writing the message and that was like 4 hrs ago (yeah.) and im still like dizzy and puffy eyed from it. i am not having#a good time lol. and it’s only going to get more intense this whole week and i don’t know if i can handle it. ive been overstimulated /#sleep deprived for like 2 straight days bc yesterday i was doing everything in my power to avoid thinking abt it and today i was doing#everything in mt power TO think abt it including being subjected to things that were hard and ofc the walk being a flop kinda lol. but omg.#mutuals i know it’s so deeply cringe but i have been vagueposting abt my work life since before i even got the fucking job. i know i look#mentally ill about it and i definitely am but my colleagues past and present are my best friends and my number 1 reason to be alive#actually. so this is just. idk. this feels very……. especially when this is someone who was never supposed to leave this suddenly. who i thou#thought i had years and years left with. and it’s just over like that and we have to say goodbye and i know it’s not even that big of a move#but it’s actually killing me. like physically. that this is happening rn. i don’t know what the fuck im going to do. and we aren’t even f#gonna be able to grieve openly at all but we are grieving and she doesn’t even.. like idk. maybe it just hasn’t occurred to her that we are.#but we literally are and its soooooooo bad. it’s so bad. i feel like im having a bad dream every day. i already felt like nothing was real#anymore and this helped abt -50000% with that sensation. like wtf is going on rn. she’s LEAVING. ON FRIDAY. FOREVER. FUCK!#but uh yeah the point is i do want to talk to her and if it was anyone else i would. but when it comes to emotional stuff and being honest#w each other abt how one makes the other feel… we are incompatible im afraid. she doesn’t want to talk abt it and all i want to do is talk b#but im shy and weak so i cave and just do everything in my power to give her what she needs and then i feel shattered for the rest of the#day / week / whatever. it fucking sucks and im not like that w anyone else in my little irl world (except my p*rents ofc LMAO) but it’s like#onmgggggg. can we please just talk abt how it is so painful you are doing this and comfort each other in it somehow. LOL! like i am in so mu#much pain i can’t even speak and she didn’t even look at me when i flicked my eyes over to her during the silences. CRINGE! girl she doesn’t#care about you 😭😭😭😭 except she does. idk. it’s just sooooo. idk. my brain is not right it hasn’t been since i got the news. i think im dying#delete later#OMG ALSO it is now the wee hours of july 26 which means that 3 yrs ago right abt now i did something so very stupid that made me have my#first very bad breakdown ever and it led to me realizing i needed counseling again. so maybe in the spirit of this anniversary i will do#this stupid thing (of asking to talk and then saying what i want to say even though i wrote it out) and then have a very bad breakdown and t#then go to counseling 🥳✌️
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mudstoneabyss · 1 year
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augh I don't wanna go to class today
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penisliker-moved · 1 year
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i e been diung rly awful today and i dont know why
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propertyofwicked · 1 month
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SECRETS part 4 - LN
content warnings: fluff, angst, drama (the whole shabang).
ur girl is going back to working full time tomorrow so if we have slow updates blame my place of work. also, im still recovering from the 4am wakeup and lando p3
part 1 -> part 2 -> part 3 -> part 4 -> part 5 -> part 6 -> part 7!
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“max pick up the damn phone,” y/n said, taking great strides across the paddock towards the car park. once again, the phone call had gone to voicemail. she clicked his contact details, ringing him again. only this time, it didn’t even ring. the phone went straight to voicemail. and to add to the matter, max’s car had disappeared from the car park.
y/n sat on the empty floor of the empty parking spot her brothers car had been in, opening up her phone to check the time and send a message to max, she probably should’ve waited for the mix of fear and anger to fade, but here she was, tapping aggressively at the screen of her phone.
if you think you can ignore me forever, you’ve got another thing coming
dont think you can jump to conclusions and throw a childlike strop about this.
but of course, the messages stayed on delivered for hours. it was at least 2 hours before lando’s caller id popped up on her phone, still with no word from max.
“hey, where did you go? mum said something about you walking off,” lando asked her the moment she answered the call.
“currently? i’m sat on the floor of the car park. where are you - ill walk over now,” she said bluntly. he stayed on the line until she entered the mclaren unit.
“y/n? what do you mean max has left?” panic rising in his voice as she walked up to him, his hands coming to rest on her waist.
“i mean he’s left. gone. driven off,” she said with a shrug, “he won’t answer my calls, hasn’t read my texts, he’s just gone.”
“he might be at the hotel? we’ll drive over in a bit and see?”
“i don’t think we should do anything, i think we might have done enough damage for one day.”
“y/n your brother has just driven off. you should at least try and check if he’s at the hotel.”
“fine, but i’m going alone.”
“let me try and talk to him first, you never know something might’ve happened with P?” lando said, still stroking her hips softly, desperately trying to think of any reason that his best friend had up and left.
4 unanswered calls later, and lando and y/n found themselves sat on the sofa in his driving room again, her head laying on her lap as he stroked her hair, trying to resolve the anxiety.
“i don’t care what he thinks, y/n. i feel so strongly about you and i think i have for years.”
“i think i have too. but i hate the thought of people disliking me, let alone my own brother.”
“i know, angel. he’ll come around soon, i promise.”
“that man held a grudge against me for years when i accidentally scraped the side of his kart when i was 12,” she said, laughing sadly at the memory of their parents having to sit them down in the living room and make them apologise to each other. the moment was quickly interrupted by her phone ringing, max’s caller id popping up on the screen.
“ma-”
“no. don’t talk to me. you two have lied to my face for years about this. lando promised me he would never even think about you in that way. and you, i don’t know what ive done to you for you to go behind my back and fuck my best friend but it’s not on.”
“max i-” lando tried to reason with him.
“oh, of course he’s there. just waiting for the moment i left to start fucking my sister, didn’t you?”
“it’s not like that, max.”
“no? then what is it like? ‘cos from where im standing it’s pretty clear he’s been waiting years to take advantage of my little sister,” he argued down the phone, venom rolling off his tongue.
“take advantage of me?” she scoffed, moving to sit up and hold the phone next to her mouth, “who the fuck do you think you are to talk to or about me in that way? who gave you the audacity to believe you have any control over who i choose to date? you couldn’t care less about protecting me, you only care about protecting yourself," she said, her voice raising and her finger moving to point as if he were stood in front of her.
“he’s not right for you.”
“that’s your opinion max. if you can’t trust me, or lando for that matter, then why should i bother giving you a moment more to talk down to me?”
lando sat silently next to her, playing with his own fingers. this was not his fight to fight right now. he’d speak to max privately later, right now, he knew y/n needed to stand up for herself, and god was she smashing it.
“why can’t you just listen to me?” max sighed, defeated, “i know what’s good for yo-”
“go fuck yourself,” she said, hanging up the call, and dropping her phone on the floor besides her. lando’s arms move to behind her waist, pulling her back to rest into him on the sofa. the room fell into silence.
“im sorry,” she mumbled.
“don’t be sorry. this is on him, and me. i should’ve told him the truth the first time round. hell, i should’ve told you the truth earlier.”
“i’ve ruined your big day, lan. p2 - you should be celebrating, not arguing with your best friend.”
“im with you - that’s celebration enough,” he said, happy to see her smile for the first time in hours. she moved to lay her head back down on lando’s lap, this time looking up at him. a knock on the door brought the two of them back to reality, and cisca walked in, adam trailing slightly behind.
y/n contemplated moving, jumping away from the boy who was currently running his hands through her hair, but it had only been 4 hours of hiding whatever was going on between the two of them and she was already bored of keeping up the pretence.
“y/n, love, did you find max?” cisca asked, eyes softening at the scene unfolding in front of her. had she secretly wished for this for years? maybe.
“yea, he um, he went home.”
“he’s not happy about this, is he?” adam said, pointing between the two of you, yet even he couldn’t help but smile slightly.
“not happy, fuming, absolutely raging - i guess you could say that,” she replied, laughing slightly to ease any tensions.
“he’ll come around lovely, he can’t stay mad at you. you’re his sister after all.”
“i love that you think so highly of my brother, cisca. he will go to the grave holding this grudge if he can.”
“ill talk to him later ang- y/n,” lando said, correcting himself quickly, not comfortable enough yet to be overly affectionate in front of his parents.
“good luck with that,” y/n joked, patting him on the arm sadly.
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later that evening, y/n found herself sat on the floor of lando’s hotel rifling through her bag to find her pyjamas. earlier, her and lando had driven to her hotel room, to find that max had packed his stuff and left as expected. she didn’t want to be alone, and lando didn’t want to leave her alone. her phone began to ring, and she answered it praying it wasn’t max.
“y/n the videos of you are going feral on twitter right now,” her best friend, caitlin, shouted down the phone the moment she picked up.
“stop it - what are people saying?”
“erm, some people think it’s cute?” he friend responded, voice laced in slight worry.
“…and the rest of them think im a slut?” y/n added, but her friend only responded with a hum.
“what’s max said?”
“from what i remember, he drove off leaving me stranded at the track and then rang me to say i was making a mistake, i was a liar and he never wanted to speak to me or lando ever again.”
“taking it well then,” the girl responded, y/n could hear her eyes rolling. at that moment, lando emerged from the bathroom, with just a towel hanging around his waist. any words y/n intended to say got stuck in her throat. he took strides towards her, noticing she was on the phone and pressing a kiss to the top of her head, before moving to his own suitcase to find a change of clothes.
“y/n…are you in lando’s room right now?”
“maybe?” y/n responded in a guilty tone, quieter than she had before, glad lando couldn’t hear the girl on the other side of the phone. however, he seemed to clock on to the question from the small grin on her face.
“girl why did you answer the phone? go spend time with your new controversial boyfriend.”
“he’s not my b- you know what, i’m gonna go.”
“dont do anything i wouldn’t do, stay safe!” her friend added cheerily, laughing as she ended the call. cheery was the furthest emotion from what y/n felt at this moment in time.
once y/n was in her pyjamas, she moved her way back into the room, lando was sat up in bed, his back resting on the headboard, phone in hand. he looked up as she walked in, patting the spot next to him for her to join. her face fell into a look that screamed apprehension.
“y/n nothing bad will happen if you get into this bed and cuddle with me.”
“something bad already happened,” she said, climbing under the duvet next to him nonetheless. his hand reached behind her waist pulling her into his chest, her head coming to rest on him.
“im happy this happened, but im not happy about every thing that’s happening as a result," she told him, her eyes blinking slowly as the exhaustion from todays drama caught up with her.
“i know baby,” he responded, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, “get some sleep. we’ll sort this out tomorrow, i promise.”
★ ☆ ✦ ✧ ✩ ✶
tag list: @harrysdimple05 @scopeiguess @hiireadstuff @landosgirlxoxo @natt9598 @phantomxoxo @val-writes @secretgal66 @ririyulife @littlehoneyfreak @leclercdream @mehrmonga @eviethetheatrefreak @thatoneembarrasingmoment @doofenshmirtzevil-inc @formula1mount @lottef1 @rayna-s @5starl1ght @cthgee
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chisatowo · 2 years
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I wish I had enough money to order food for myself it'd do wonders for my eating habits if I could order full lunches for myself instead of just microwaving smth every day because I have no motivation to actually cook
#rat rambles#best I can do is like chocolate chip muffins or scrambled eggs on the rare occations I can actually force myself to actively cook lol#like I wish I could spice up my diet more I rly do but its so hard to find stuff I both have the energy to make and can force myself to eat#eating a decent variety has always been a problem for me but lately its been so much harder to force myself to eat more than like 4 things#like theres other things I like but theyre not available to me most of the time#either because I cant order food or I cant cook it (usually cause of motivation but also because of serving size sometimes)#so like idk what else to do. I can try as much as I like to mix up the things I can eat from day to day but thats still not great#like for context what I can eat in the house rn is microwaved ramen granola bars microwaved chicken and fries and chocolate chip muffins#and again on occation srambled eggs but thats a big on occation#so like. not great.#Ive been trying to eat carrots more since I like carrots but theyre a hard thing to build the space and time to snack on#I feel like Im trying to find a way to trick an animal to take their medication but the animal is my brain#if I could order meals thatd be a literal life changer man I could actually work to eat better#and if you wanna help with that goal commisio-*gets shot*#as much as Id appreciate that I think Id rather save for other things but idk maybe I should look into it#especially since jbhunting is coming to a halt for now since I rly am not in a space to work rn#Im not doing bad per say just. unstable I think#basically I dont wanna jump straight into smth like that after like 3 years of isolation#hm I should probavbly tag this as a vent huh#rat vents#ok boom time to keep sitting in the depression zone ig#gonna be fucking 20 next year and I still have like no independence since I cant motivate myself to do anything lol#hopefully by next year Ill be doing better
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misguidedasgardian · 6 months
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The Hour of the Wolf (4)
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IV. It is you
MASTERLIST
Summary: Pressures makes wind, earthquakes, and marriages
Pairing: Cregan Stark x Targaryen!Reader
Warnings: Cursing, war, death, mentions of killings, genocide and war, threats,arranged marriage, SPOILERS for ASOIAF, and Fire & Blood, also, might spoil House of the Dragon, 
+18, MINORS DNI
Wordcount: 3.8 k 
Notes: I don;t think this is going to be a love story, this is about politics, and a truly arranged marriage, their relationship will develop of course, but I just wanted to get that out there
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“You have done a great job with her”, Cregan raised his eyes to encounter the mythical Jeyne Arryn, cousin to the late Queen Aemma, keeper of the East, Lady of the Eyrie, they both contemplated you as you sat the Iron Throne and gave audiences
“I have done nothing, it’s all her”, he said severely
“You are good with her, for her”, she said then, looking at him with her piercing blue eyes
“I know what you are implying…”
“She needs a husband”, she said
“You should stay here in court, as her hand when I leave”, he said almost at the same time
“You can’t leave her”
“I have to, I have a child…”
“She needs you, the realm needs you”
“The North needs me, she will be fine”
“You know that is not true, she is still too young to differ allies from foes”
“She will learn”
“At the cost of the realms”, Cregan Stark looked at her severely, but he had met her equal, this woman was not going to back down
“What about my son? What about my people? How is that going to work?”, he asked then
“You can come and go”
“A year at a time”
“Maybe”, she said. The small council had been relentless, just as Jeyne was being 
His name was in that alliance
He pledged to take you to wife, you, in name, regardless of who you had become… you were his betrothed. And it’s not like he gave his word lightly, only, like he said, he need a wife and a lady of Winterfell, he did not want to become the King consort of the Seven Kingdoms, he did not want to take care of you… forever…
But he had taken the capital for you
Yes he promised your mother…
But he had done it for you, an unknown princess, on his mind
He found himself looking straight at you
Like the first time he saw you, he thought, again, you were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Since he took the capital, color had returned to your face, you no longer had darkness under your eyes, your cheeks were fuller, you also filled your dresses more, meaning you were eating more, sleeping longer…
You were better
His eyes then trailed over all the faces of the Lords gathered there in the throne room, lickspittles, asskissers, many of them, without honor, just hunger for power and gold
Did he really care for what happens to the people of the other six Kingdoms? Were you really in danger? Kings had been surrounded by traitors all their lives and nothing major had happened…
Well… until Otto fucking Hightower
No, he couldn’t let that happen again
He thought he only wanted to bring justice to the traitors, but it wasn’t true, he cared about what happened
He cared about what happens to you…
The realization made him shift on his feet
He cared about you 
He did not want you to get married to someone who was going to please the small council and take your place eventually, who was going to manipulate you or worse
He didn’t want you married to someone who…
No… he just didn’t want you married to anyone else… that’s it
The bare thought made him shiver
You felt yourself being watched intensely, and found Cregan Stark’s eyes
You felt your cheeks heated, as you looked away like a little girl who had been caught doing something silly 
You were only a young woman, barely turned eight and ten name days
And Cregan was only a young man who had the power of the biggest country in the seven kingdoms and wanted to use it to avenge his Queen
He was himself impulsive, reckless even, maybe the rest saw him like the greatest choice, but he knew the truth
He wasn’t
What if he tipped you off a ledge? What if he sets you off resulting in the destruction of cities and the annihilation of thousands?
And yet…. He was the only one you trusted
Months on the road, maybe years away from you, years away from his home, his child… There must always be a Stark in Winterfell
But when he leaves you to be in Winterfell, he was going to wish he was in King’s Landing, and when he is here, he wishes he could be in Winterfell, he was already missing it, he wanted to see his son, his five year old son, he had left him in good hands, with his loving half sister, and trusted friends and servants… but still
He was so small, he had it when he was so young, the only thing he had left of his dear friend Arra
If he married you… if…
He was going to give you children, his child, second child, was going to sit the Iron Throne one day… and his oldest was going to be Lord of Winterfell
That was… enticing, to say the least
Too good to be true….
Having children with you, a thought that enticed and scared him in equal measure
A child of Ice and Fire, a child who was going to be a Northerner by blood and a dragon rider as well…
He shifted on his feet again
He wanted it
And he could pretend he had a choice all he wanted, but he didn’t… he had signed the pact… the woman… the Queen seated in the Iron Throne…
Was his betrothed
It didn’t have to be two months, a week long boat ride to White harbor and another week on the road and he could be home quickly…
It had to work
Did you want this?
He gave you the service of ending the courts early, and then you abandoned the throne room.
But before he could reach you, he was intercepted by Celtigar
“I need to talk to you”, he said, Cregan only nodded as they walked together to a hallway of the Keep which seemed to be empty
“What is it?” He asked, his patience long gone
“I can marry her”, he said quickly
Cregan stopped in his tracks, and frowned
“You trust me, don’t you?”, he asked when he saw his face
“yes, but…”
“I can get you out of the pact… if she is the one to accept”
He should be relieved, he should have said yes immediately, but the thought of you marrying someone else… he didn’t like it.
Not that he didn’t trust his friend, he did, he was the best choice according to him, the day before he had offered himself, the thing is… he had changed in the last 24 hours… 
He wanted it, you, the seat at your side, the children you were going to give him…
But he wouldn’t even accept it himself, this was deep inside of him, he wanted to protect you, none of those southerners had what it took, only him, he didn’t trust anyone else, not really 
Only him…
“My name is in those papers”, he growled
“But perhaps if I speak to her, began to court her…”
“I’ll talk to her”, he cut him 
“I really think I should be the one…”, with only one look Cregan makes his friend stop speaking. He had just realized what he truly wanted to do, and he did not need to be contradicted now. “You are marrying her, aren’t you?”, he said, a smile sneaking on his friend’s face
“I don’t know yet, I don’t want to pressure her”, Celtigar only hummed
“I want to marry her too”, he said then. Cregan looked at his friend and he understood him, he was challenging him…
“May the best man win her affections then”, Cregan said.
He was not going to lose
And as he walked away Celtigar only smiled, having pushed his friend in the right direction by only pretending to want your hand in marriage
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Cregan had asked Lord Redwyne for help and together they had set you up with young ladies, that shared your age, your ladies in waiting as it were. But instead he found you alone in the Red Keep garden, walking and escorted by one of your white cloaks
“What happened with your ladies in waiting?”, he asked point blank as he approached you, the lack of property, referring to you not as “your grace”, and it made your guard almost wince  
“I send them on their way”, you said simply, leaning in to smell a beautiful flower, barely acknowledging him
“I don’t want you to be lonely”, he said gently, you raised your eyes to look at him 
“yes, I know but they are so… vain… “this lord looked at me”, or “have you seen the dress she was wearing…”, Cregan only smiled condescendingly at you, “and I…”
“You are thinking about the wellness of millions”, he said, “concerned about the future of the entire realm, I understand”
“I understand the need to be distracted for a while, but…”, he only nodded
“I understand”, he said shortly
“Why are you here?”, you asked, nervous, he didn’t understand the change in your dynamic, you had felt confident and calm enough to cry in front of him, but now you were evading his gaze, and shifting in your feet in nerves
In your mind was a bit more clearer
You realized you liked him, you found yourself feeling butterflies in your belly when you saw his handsome face, and you wanted to punch yourself, for being so childish, you were not a young girl in front of her knight in shining armor, you were a Queen now, he was your hand, your advisor, and the head of one of the most important houses on the entire realm.
But you felt your legs shake, and your breath caught in your throat every time you saw him approach you
And every time he was near, you wanted him to stay near you, you felt your chest strangle your heart each time he walked away from you.
Gods this was strange even for you
“I want to ask you something”, he said slowly, you looked at him then, concerned 
“You are leaving”, you said.
You were not an idiot, you knew he had a son, he was the Lord of Winterfell, he needed to rule his home. You couldn’t expect of him to stay here forever 
That took him by surprise
“No”, he said softly
“But you have to go one day, don’t you?”
“That is what I wanted to talk about”, he said softly, your attention was on him then, you tried to pull on those dark feelings that would make you mad at him when he did decided to leave, he could not see that wide-eyed little girl who had a crush on him, not now, and you will not beg when he tells you it was going to be time for him to return home…
“... the marriage offers”, you were lost for a second but that certainly brought you back to attention
“Uh?”, you asked
“You had been offered several hands of many lords over these past few days”
“Did the small council put you up to this?”, you asked, bored
“You need to get married”, he said severely, “we need to make your family strong again, you need to settle your line…”
“I understand”, you said, looking down. You knew he had signed a pact to marry you, but you also did not want to hold him to it, there were different times, it was naive for you to think he was going to hold up his part, he had done enough already 
“A marriage is also an alliance”, he continued, “you need someone who will help you and guide you, but not manipulate you…”
You only nodded
“A strong person, with a powerful family name…”
“If you say Tyland Lannister I swear…”, he chuckled, and shook his head
“No…”, he said. He then stopped all his movements, you felt his gaze on you, so you stopped as well and raised your head and eyes to look at him, “who do you want?”, he asked then
“I’m not sure”, you said, but you did… you wanted him
For the doubt in your mind made him question his own decision. He thought you were going to name him, but you were truly doubtful
You didn’t think he was an option
“I don’t know any of those men”, you said then in a whisper 
“You know some…”, he tried, you looked at him
He felt even guilty for wanting it
He gave in to his deepest desire, of power and lust.
“Yes you are right”, you whispered, looking away from him again, “I just…. need to think this through”, you said with a low voice, you wanted to end this chat
But he didn’t, he needed you to say it
He had heard the small council ask him to, he had heard Lady Jayne Arryn… but he needed to hear it from you.
“There must be someone in your mind”, he said softly, with a gentle, soothing voice
“There was”, you admitted
“Talk to me, I’m your hand”, he continued, “I am here to advice you”
“Until you leave me”, you say then, without thinking, it was barely a whisper
So that’s it, he thought, you resented him for even the mere thought of him abandoning you
“I can come back”, he said then, with a hint of amusement on his voice 
You only hummed, you didn’t believe him, and you were going to feel terribly lost without him, again, alone, like you had been before he saved you…. before he took the city in your name and put you on the throne
He did all of that
There was nobody else you wanted by your side but him
You shared a longing look, a long gaze
What did he want? you asked yourself. He looked like he wanted to listen to you but also to speak, at the same time. You didn’t know what else to say
“What does that mean?”, you asked then. He sighed, loudly
“I signed a pact…”, he said
“Yes, my brother offered my hand in marriage in exchange for your allegiance and your swords”, you said lowly
“No”, he answered back, you looked at him intently, “he asked for my loyalty, he had it already, but he negotiated our union for the simple fact he was scared of something befalling you, he wanted to send you North under my protection to keep you safe from harm, from the war, and from the Greens”
Ah yes, safe from Aemond and Aegon
“That sounds like my brother”, you said, melancholy tainting your voice 
“He wanted to keep you safe”
“In more than one way you had kept your promise”, you assured him, “you took the city, took control…”
“I did”, he said softly, “for you”
“You are going to put a crown in my head”, you said
“In three days”, he said then, “and then you should announced your betrothal”
“I don’t have one”
“You do”, he said finally, his eyes, piercing eyes bore into yours, he dwarfed you in size, and even though he had left his fur cloak behind… he still look big and imposing
“Cregan…”, you called
“Say it”, he encouraged 
“You signed the pact…”, you said.
As you looked at him, you grew angry
What did he want from you? to beg? you didn’t even know. He had signed that past, to marry you one day, and yet, he dodged that part at every turn, he needed to return home, you understood that he had a son, a little boy who needed his father, so why was he here? talking to you in this way? 
“You promised to marry me”, you said softly, he barely nodded, his eyes looking intently at you, “but I understand…”, he frowned then, and you started walking away from him. Letting him standing in the garden
You called in a small council meeting, on your own accord
They were right, you needed to make your family bigger and stronger…
“I called in this meeting because I have to make a demand”, you said firmly, your small council looking amongst each other, Cregan was silent, playing with the dragon eye in front of him
“Tomorrow the Barahteon will present themselves to me, and I want to tell you my intentions so you’ll be prepared”, you said firmly, “It is to my understanding that princess Jahaera, daughter of Aegon the Usurper, is still in Storm’s End…”
“As a guest”, said lord Lannister
“As a hostage”, you said then, “It is to my understanding that she was on her way here, when Aegon was poisoned”, you said softly, “I know because it was discussed at the dinner table in front of me, yet, she is not here, I understand they are trying to keep her safe as some sort of leverage, but…”, you continued, and then you soften your gaze, “I want her here, she is a little girl, a Targaryen, daughter to my lovely aunt Helaena, and she should be with me and Aegon, with family”, you said softly
“Your grace is most graceful”, muttered the Maester, the others murmured their affirmations
“Tomorrow I will demand of the Baratheons to bring little Jahaera back to me, when she is here, we will betrothed her to Aegon, to finally solidify the family and end this madness”, yous aid with a soft smile
Aemond, Aegon, Alicent and Otto are and will burn in hell
But not Helaena and her children
She was an angel, so were the little boys that lost her lives
Jahaera was the only one left, you owe it to Helaena to keep her safe
After the affirmation and support of your small council, you walked towards your little brother’s chambers
He had become so quiet and sad, which was expected, but still, you tried to keep his mind busy, you would put Septas and maesters to teach him and accompany him, at all ours, soon, one of your King’s guards will teach him the art of the sword.
Now you make sure to sit and dine with him
Even though he barely spoke
“Jahaera will come to court soon”, you whispered to him as you served yourself a cup of wine
“Who was Jahaera?”, he asked innocently, of course he didn’t remember 
“Helaena’s child”, you said, “she is your age, you can have fun together”
“Oh”, it's the only thing he said, while continue to have little pieces of bread and meat 
“Maybe one day you can get married”, you said lightly
“When are you getting married?”, he asked then and made you laugh
“Soon, but I don’t know with whom!”, you said as it was a joke, it was sad that it was true
“Marry Cregan”, he said simply
“WHy?”, you asked him, amazed
“I see the way he looks at you”, he said simply
“How does he look at me?”, you asked him
“As papa looked at mama”, he said, and you got quiet
“He has to go back North”, yous aid lightly
“You can command him to stay, you are the Queen”, he said, still not looking at you
“If I only command without listening to reason I’m a Tyrant”, you said softly, “not a queen”
“He wants to stay”, he said
“I don’t know if he does, you know Northerners don’t fare well here in the south”, you joked 
“Command him”, he insisted
“Aren’t you a little tyrant?”, you teased, reaching over the table and tickling his side until he squealed in a laugh
But gods if that made you think…
“He looks at you they way papa looked at mama”
Daemon Targaryen wasn’t much of a communicative man, he didn’t need to speak, it was all in his eyes…
He could make men tremble with just his gaze, he could make his children giggle with a wink, and he could make your mother swoon with that sparkle in his eyes.
Even little Aegon could tell 
Even if the nannies took control over your little brother, you were by his side until he fell asleep, and then you went to your own room
You served yourself a cup of wine, another cup of wine.
“Call in Lord Stark please”, you asked Eryk, and he nodded and went to fulfill your requirement 
It was inappropriate, to say the least, to summon a man to your chambers at this late… but you needn't to worry about such matters… Or you did
Your brother was right, you were a Queen, you had to begin to act like one 
Cregan foud you seated by the fire, in a relaxed stance, with a goblet of wine in your hand
“Your grace”, he greeted, he seemed serious, but you believed you found a glint in his eye… you were started to get to know him and his facial expressions, as cold as they may seem
“My Lord Hand”
“You will summon me and believe me, I will attend to your calling, but I must say, if someone sees me coming into your chambers at the hour of the owl, where we are going to be alone…”
“I’m aware”, you said, smiling at him
“What do you need?”, he asked gently, with a smirk on his lips
“Today in the garden…”, you started, “you mentioned the pact you sign”
“Yes I did”, he said
“Why?”, you asked him
“Why?”, he asked back
“Why would you bring it up?”, you asked again, “it seems that you do not intent to honor it”, he got quiet then, analyzing you
“I meant…”
“There is no one else…”, you said, “it is you”, you looked up at him, your eyes sparkling. He softened his gaze
“Is that a command?”, he asked, amusement in his voice, it was like he was playing a game.
“Marry me”, you said, “honor the pact of Ice and Fire… you can come back home, on the condition of course that you come back…”
“To you”, he said
“To me”, you agreed. “Everyone will be at ease, well, except for the Hightowers, when you sit at my side in the throne…”, you said, he barely nodded, still smiling 
“I don’t think so…”, he said finally, you stopped all your movements, was he rejecting you? he was not going to marry you? you had to command him, if he refused, you could fall through, you couldn’t make a man marry you… you started feeling ashamed of even summoning him here… you were starting to feel like an idiot
He turned his back to you and went to the small table in the corner and served himself a goblet of wine.
“I think they will feel threatened..”, he continued, you smiled then, taking a breath you didn’t know you were holding, “you and me together…”, he continued, taking a sip, “soon they’ll realize… the dragon and the wolf sat together… and they are all sheep”
You both smiled widely at each other 
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this is the vibe I was going for jajaja
Cregan is... complex... everyone wanted a tougher Cregan, i'm giving a gray one. He has ambitions, and wants power, and he is not indiferent to us, the beautiful young Queen... of what I read about Cregan, it is what I perceive... anyways... hope you like... maybe I moved it a bit too quickly but I want to get to the good part
taglist! ❤️
@lyannesworld @tremendouswolfsaladranch @unlesshouse @mimsie95 @ostricx @amelia262006 @marihoneywk @ahristata @happinessinthebeing @dd122004dd
@lyannesworld @aestmilky @lightdragonrayne @delaynew @mxtokko @stargaryenx @lightdragonrayne @delaynew @mxtokko @good-night-starlight @yentroucnagol @beebeechaos 
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soquimic · 6 months
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some things i’ve manifested using the law of assumption —note that i’ve been using it to manifest for years, i was around 8 or 9, so it’s a lot—
1- when i was 8, i remember leaving the church and going home. i really wanted to go to the mall that day because it was almost xmas eve and there’s a lot of activities in my country, i also wanted to see the big xmas tree by the electric stairs. i remember that i affirmed everyday only one affirmation, i didn’t pay attention but lately i realized that ive always been living in the end and didnt realize because my affirmation stated the desire already fulfilled. i affirmed the whole day, i even went to the backyard and looked at the sky as if i was talking with god or something similar. i started affirming around 11 am and by 5 pm my mom was getting ready and i asked her “where are you going?” and she literally told me: i received your school grades, they are all good for me so im taking you to the mall. i lived happily the whole week because i thought that was my first encounter with god or something 😂😂
2- this was in my freshman or sophomore year, i really cant remember the time really well in this one but i do remember that my friend and i had fought and i was really scared because he ignored me everyday and we used to be really close so i reminded my subconscious everyday for like 3 days straight that they were not mad, they were just dealing with stuff or busy (yeah the gaslighting 😘😘) and nah, by day 4 he talked to me again and everything was back to normal like nothing happened.
3- food. yes, the thing i manifest the most is food because i adore eating. i used to live with the assumption: my mom is bringing me chocolate/cheesecake or pizza from work today. EVERY WEEK. and it would happen, i got used to it and stopped assuming random things that had to do with food.
i cant remember any other one, dementia patient right here 🚶🏻‍♀️🚶🏻‍♀️🚶🏻‍♀️
as for my recent ones, ive got a bunch. im a very anxious person and tbh manifesting before was way easier than now. the pressure is killing me but i still managed to manifest stuff from 2021 to this day.
1- a boyfriend. yes, i manifested a boyfriend around april 2021. i didnt go into detail but he had everything i was looking for + he was amazing (at first ofc), he later changed and i had to start attending to therapy sessions cause i got diagnosed and im still traumatized. i forgot to script the loyalty part… so yeah he definitely did cheat and gaslit me. but he made me feel amazing while it lasted. we broke up around 2 months ago and we had 2 years together. i didnt manifest the break up, he did. which is good. the universe sent me signs cause days later after the break up i found out messages and stuff of him cheating the same week of the break up.
2- i manifested for my attachment to go away. note: im the type of person to get attached emotionally to people, i was emotionally depending on my ex, so as soon as we broke up i had a dream where somebody told me to just go out the day after and spoil myself. buy whatever i want and spend some money cause i was working so hard to buy the flight to go and see him. 4 days later when i found out he was with another person i cried in my way to work and i was feeling so well that day that i literally did my hair and makeup but it got smudged :(( but that was the last and first time i cried over him after everything was over. next day i woke up feeling positive and i suddenly let everything go. bad people eventually get what they deserve in life so i just got over it and im not attached to him or the old story anymore!!
3- i manifested new friends plus i contacted my old friends back. most of them were in bad terms with me cause i blocked them out of nowhere because of my ex, everything was so messed up but they forgave me and they are very good friends after all, they text me and hype me up every day so i cannot be more grateful :D
4- i manifested my sp :D after these 2 months i thought to myself: if that person could move on, you can too. so i did, although my sp and me are not fully prepared for a relationship rn, we’re both aware of our mutual attraction and promised to give us time until we were both fully healed 🫶🏻
5- MONEYYYYYY. yeah it sounds like im too ambitious when it comes to money but im soooo silly. i spend everything i get plus i need to pay for my own stuff at school. i dont like bothering my parents with my expenses —even though they are supposed to provide for me but i feel like a problem when i do that so—, i manifested money like 4 times this year??? first, my parents never give me more than 100 for my birthday and all of a sudden they gave me 500$??? i even posted about it my happiness was out of the roof. i went to the cinema w my friends to watch an anime movie that got released on my birthday yayayaya. later, i started working and got like 1,200 in the summertime and now i manifested more money this week TO SAVE. i literally by assuming got into the void and manifested a bag full of money. i wont stfu about it IM AMBITIOUS in a good way with money, i need to move out and start building my future (bro im still 17 😔)
6- clothes and makeup. uMmm im not a fan of makeup tbh buttttt i wanted to have some in case one day i decide to put some on, my skin has always been clear and pretty, my lashes are super long and my eyebrows are really thick so i only worry about doing a perfect lip combo. i got a box and 2 bags full of makeup <3 especially makeup of my favorite brands 😙😙😙 i also was able to buy clothes online very similar to the ones that i had on my pinterest boards ^^ but i kinda forgot to buy shoes.. BFFR 😭😭😭 ive been repeating the same 5 shoes, but im gonna buy some new ones soon!!
7- colognes and jewelry 😘😘😘😘😘 yes, im a fan of these too!! my dad gave me a box full of earrings and rings. but not any kind of earrings, LONG AND BIG EARRINGS W UNUSUAL DESIGNS just how i like them. and some cute rings w rabbit, figures, etc. the colognes smell really well!! i got the nicki minaj perfume in all versions, dior colognes and a box with like 8 different types of victoria’s sprays 🚶🏻‍♀️🚶🏻‍♀️🚶🏻‍♀️
8- a good school year. its only been a month but ive made friends and i find a lot of people WHO SUDDENLY KNOW ME, waving at me in the hallways and im like OH YEAH HI even tho idk who they are?? it feels so goodddddd i feel like an it girl omg 😭😭😭 and also my grades are MAGNIFIC, i got accepted in our honors program and im currently a staff cadet in our military program I DID NOT EVEN KNOW IT WOULD BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO ACQUIRE A HIGH RANK HERE BUT I DID ITTTT I DID ITTTT IM LEADING :D
yeah i cant remember more but thats all i’ve accomplished so far, see u dont need the void to fucking manifest 🥱🥱🥱🥱 gurllll-
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thatdeadaquarius · 8 months
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sleepy-apparition Submitted:
I have to say it, I can not stay silent any longer! Shenhe is one of the best characters for neurodivergent creator.
Just hear me out! Not only is also plagued with feeling like she's stuck between two worlds(being a human that was forced out of society and now has to ingrain herself back into society after living away from it for so long), her way of thinking and speech are perfect for someone who's neurodivergent(she's probably neurodivergent herself). She's VERY direct. You always know what you're gonna get from her. I'd be refreshing, especially after that awkward 'just became friends' stage.
Also Shenhe's like. One of the best bodyguards you could have, in any context. She's SUPER strong and quick, and she, technically, can follow you anywhere. Unlike Ganyu and Cyno(Who have high maintenance jobs) or Xiao(Who has a certain duty stopping him from leaving), there isn't anything keeping her in Liyue. I guess there's the chance of her red ropes breaking...but that's something she's been working hard on since she met the traveler. It's something she can work on with you. Plus, traveling with a partner might be good, for both the you and Shenhe. You get a friend who can protect you, and she also gets afriend, and crowd exposure therapy. Win-win honestly.
I might have put to much effort into this, but I need to talk about Shenhe and your ask box was closed. Your work is amazing by the way! It never fails to make me laugh or smile, so keep it up! You're doing great!
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GORGEOUS GORGEOUS WRITING ABOUT GORGEOUS GORGEOUS WOMEN ✨️💙
I love this, tho admittedly im head over heels for any neurodivergent content in sagau/genshin ever <33
THANKS FOR BLESSING MY EYES FIRST WITH THIS, it was an amazing read
You guys are always welcome to send in writing blurbs or any brainrot ur having, I love to hear it!! /gen :)
Btw, if ur wondering where ive been for the past week or so, ive been working on the one shot for Eldritch AU!
⚠️WARNING talk of Covid/Sickness below!⚠️
...that and I got Covid 💀
My roommate brought it back with them when they came home,, last friday? I think
And i ended up getting a nasty fever on and off for 2 days straight
Im almost recovered now! Just a stuffy nose and no taste buds :'(
Which has been the most upsetting part i can BARELY taste anything
My sense of taste yesterday was the most there its been since i got knocked out last week, and even then it was at 1/4 rlly of the way there
Now im back to eating textures 😭
Been like this for 4 days now that im doing better/more cleared up its so unfair D;
Anyway, srry abt the complaining, just wanted to let u guys know whats up!!
Let me know if u got any getting taste back tricks 🥲
THANK U AGAIN FOR THIS.
Im serious this made my day to see <3333 😭
Safe Travels Sleepy,
💀♒️
tbh i thought abt tagging beloveds so they could see this, but i didnt write it so i didnt wanna tag lmao
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sixthwater · 5 months
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Back with another yearly review! This time it's just seeing how the beginning of your year went vs where you are now. This is mainly for those who aren't sure if they've made any progress, or to see what lessons you've learned. Maybe to check what the theme of this year was? Either way, it's difficult to see where your tracks begin and end when you're the one walking the path, right?
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Left → Right / Pile 1 → Pile 4)
Decks Used: Archetype Cards, Animal Spirits, Rider Waite, Sacred Creators Oracle, Fairies Oracle Deck
Disclaimer | Pinned | Tip Jar | Paid Readings
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Pile One
Beginning of Year
Cards: Virgin, Zebra, IV of Swords Rx, Shift, Sacred Treasure
Very straight-forward! In the beginning of the year there was a lot of external energy present; you had a new beginning or you were very open to a lot of new experiences. I’m not getting a change in mindset because this feels more action oriented, but it’s like being very excited and rejuvenated to try new things and get back into a groove after a period of rest. Before this you might have been questioning a path or why you were doing certain things, because some cards are asking you to keep reminders of your goals or your inner child with you if you start to doubt yourself again. Also Virgin speaks to someone who keeps their innocence with them regardless of what happens, as well as a new beginning. Overall, I see you being very excited and somewhat giddy about the new opportunities around you and I keep hearing ‘getting back into it’, so a return to the external world basically! For some it could’ve been an external block but I also sense just trying out new activities and experiences (food, cultures, friends, etc).
End of Year
Cards: Queen Rx, Fox, VIII of Cups Rx, Spark of Hustle, Divine Hustle
I figured something like this would happen. I wanted to pull up a playlist of a group I can’t fully listen to on spotify, and their discography is going backwards in this video. This is what your energy feels like somewhat. I also want to note that your first pile was very earthy and there were a lot of blue-greens, meanwhile this pile is red-yellow, but feels stiff and cold. Right now it feels like that energetic and passionate energy has turned into a survivalist one. It reminds me of an earth mindset where money and finances are the driving point — which in these times I’m not too surprised. Instead of passion being a driving force, it’s about what can keep you stable and what gets people interested instead of what you enjoy doing. There’s still external activity, but it’s like clocking in/out of a job. This can also extend a bit to relationships. For some, molding parts of your personality so they enjoy your company. The other group needs to reach out and spend time with loved ones and also listen to their advice/opinion if you vent to them about your stress regarding the first portion of this reading. A piece of you is testing out things, understanding they don’t work, and trying something else out but you’re not actually processing the lesson. It’s just go go go. You need to take care of yourself as much as you can and get back in touch with things like spa days. There’s a difference between reaching deadlines and pumping out content; so which one are you doing? Come to that understanding and make sure you rest your body appropriately. Also someone needs to hear this because it keeps popping up: you are not using all the skills that you have, but are still holding onto the possibility that it’ll work out. If you work at it, there’s a higher chance it’ll work out, but simply dabbling in it won’t give you the results you’re seeking. Don’t obsess over the results if it is a hobby (they should make you happy), but if you want it to work out, you have to try harder.
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Pile Two
Beginning of Year
Cards: Priest Rx (Light Attributes), Unicorn, VIII of Pentacles, Divine Masculine, Joke’s on You
You are new here or you discovered a new system. I also Never take the empty cards from the Archetype deck but it wanted to come out, so I don’t believe you did anything I’m about to explain with ill intent. It could lean to just friendships for some but it’s definitely spiritual for most of you.
There’s a feeling of superiority here. Equating it to material goods, let’s say someone got into an AP class or has a higher degree. A few percentage of them will subconsciously have a tendency to exhibit some classism (ex; this person didn’t go to college therefore they aren’t as smart as me). So specifically, it can feel like the usual case of finding this new world and realizing that some people just ‘don’t get it’. So there can be some cases of trying to explain/share this newly found knowledge but being a bit intense, or distancing from old connections in favor of those who are closer to these subjects. I see someone taking in a lot of these topics and wanting to find out as much as they can immediately which is why it feels like something is new here, because that’s usually what happens. However there’s a misleading energy so it’s like...so I wanted to have TMG on in the background for whatever reason before I pulled cards and I understand why now. Some songs are poking fun at people; usually from the pov of someone who’s a disaster talking shit about other people (ex; deadbeat, no flex, clout, etc) and that’s immediately what clicked in my mind. So it generally feels like the energy of someone at a podium shouting about the good word but they barely know it themselves? That’s the general energy I have here. As I said, for some it could be about relationships and a betrayal of some sort, possibly regarding that, but that was a flicker of a message — it’s not that strong.
End of Year
Cards: Angel, Hummingbird, Ace of Pentacles Rx, Living Poetry, Gold at the end of the rainbow
Oh this is cute! I knew it’d go this way but this is more adorable than I expected haha.There is some control on the previous energy from before. You’re still expressing yourself and communicating with others, but it’s more organized? It’s when people come to you instead of you going to them, or you post stuff online. Perhaps you have a separate account to help mitigate those urges to express all the ideas in your head! So you can still share how you feel, but it’s not gaining the previous reaction mentioned before. As I said, there was never ill intent and you do want to legitimately help people. It feels like you found solace in whatever practice it was and you just want others to be able to feel the same, thus you’re trying to find the best way to do so. The Gold card mentions that you should stay focused, as you will soon reach your goal. I don’t believe it’s monetary. I’d be shocked if you weren’t new because you have the same progress that most of us have haha. When you start off, you want to express these feelings to people, you make a lot of connections and you just say them, and sometimes people just find it annoying if it’s the wrong crowd. Eventually you will find a good balance, and usually you want to start off doing it for free and to help people because it makes you happy! That’s what I’m seeing here. There’s a sweet energy coming from this section and I can see you trying to reject people’s offers to pay you for something. I’d be a bit surprised if you weren’t active in the community somewhere (whether that’s in a discord server or actively posting).
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Pile Three
Beginning of Year
Cards: Victim, Beaver, King of Cups Rx, Fearless Expression, Time to tinker
Shadow work. Definitely going through negative traits you have, and confronting any past demons that have been holding you back. Enforcing boundaries, standing up for yourself, and doing your best to try and put yourself first. I don’t see you closing yourself off or becoming more cold, but it’s more like wanting a better life. You have a future that you want, and you know the steps you need to take in order to achieve it. It’s like the order of the cards; The Star comes after The Tower — that’s what I feel like happened to you but more like internally/emotionally before you started enforcing it. There’s a possibility that a few of you might be going to therapy considering some sort of expression is here, but for a majority of you it’s just placing boundaries down for what you will and will not accept into your lives.
End of Year
Cards: Hermit, Beaver, Knight of Pentacles Rx, Bliss, Sacred Treasure
Special Note: Hermit wanted to come out from the tarot but it flipped back in
Veerrryy slowed down. Focusing on yourself, your loved ones, and what’s important to you. Self-care is super prominent here. There’s a pinch of health issues for someone (you being the care-taker?) but that’s a very specific message. The point however is that you’ve basically gone into the woods to do some rebuilding from the ground up. To find your inner child, see what’s upset them and make them happy again. You want to feel peace purely from within, and you’re trying to create healthier habits around your spiritual practice or your mindset. I can see meditation, however there is also a big piece of re-framing how you see yourself and talk to yourself. Instead of negative talk it’s being more patient and reaffirming your positive qualities. I feel very calm and it’s a beautiful energy here, so if you feel like you’re not making progress don’t be fooled, you are. There’s a lot of realigning with yourself until you can head back into the over-stimulation of what society can bring. I think it’s important to note that I wanted to watch a supernatural ghost hunting youtube channel while doing this, and they have a halloween special which is heavily edited and has clips of ‘high activity’ — I can see this connected to doing shadow work when you think about it. If the caretaker message resonated with you, I can see that this time to focus on others might make you rethink your path or what you want in life (usually seeing someone run into health issues can make you think about your own life). Ah...I think also with the current transits going on (Saturn), you might be wondering what you’re even doing here. That can explain why your energy feels so intense. Please be patient with yourself, things like this are a lifelong journey. There is a chance you could get things wrong, because it’s more rare to get things right the first time around. Take time to understand what you want to do, what gives you happiness, and go for it. Just recently Andre 3000 said that a friend had told him that it’d be over if he released ‘Hey Ya’, and that most of his friends don’t like his music. He makes things that he likes and you should follow that same mindset. Yes, outside feedback is helpful but not if it imprisons you.
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Pile Four
Beginning of Year
Cards: Addict, Owl, The Moon, You are light, Showing up
Interesting...in the beginning of the year there was a lot of reflective energy going on. It’s a bit difficult to explain, but it’s similar to how sometimes we can attract those that show us what we need to work on within ourselves? You were that person for others for some time. It might have been that you were outgrowing a few people in your life as well and that’s how this is showing up. It isn’t coming off as doing work on yourself, it’s more like you’re telling others about things they need to work on for themselves. Maybe some of you are tarot readers/astrologers lol. I don’t think many remarkable things happened for the first quarter of this year for you (at least not for it to show up), but you showed up for others. As I said, people probably sought you out for advice, or you subconsciously were highlighting a lot of people’s insecurities. This can sometimes make people act out, so I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a little animosity during this time due to this.
End of Year
Cards: Destroyer, Panther, The Lovers Rx, Fierce Serenity, Wayward Paths
Ah, the relationships probably started gaining traction during the middle of the year? Your energy still seems peaceful? Usually with these cards it seems a bit thrown off or frustrated but I’m getting the image of someone dusting or cleaning. You’re just simply sorting out what should or should not be in your life. The main theme is relationships, but I think it causes you to sometimes think about jobs, hobbies — what your energy is going towards. Is it worth your attention and love. You give off fixed sign energy. You have an idea of what you don’t want in your life. I don’t think you’re set on what you allow in, but once people/things cross boundaries then they have to go. You have a set of standards and right now you’re doing a spring cleaning of sorts. As I said, I don’t see it as being aggressive — I don’t see any door slamming. It’s just like...distancing? Or prioritizing different people and things that give you more happiness. I think in the beginning there was a bit of confusion or you were giving some extra chances but you realized it was throwing you off kilter which you didn’t appreciate. You’ll be entering a ‘new’ stage of your life come next spring? At the latest.
Ahaaaa, looking back at both of these piles, there was a high chance you were pulling in a lot of relationships to teach you lessons. Let’s say you had 3 friends back to back and they had varying ways of abusing your kindness. That was happening until you realized something needed to change and that’s where you are now. That’s where the subtly and slight animosity was coming from.
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luvieshifts · 1 year
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the maze runner maze diversity ideas directly inspired by this @petrichor-idyllic post!!
ive literally been thinking about it nonstop since omg okay BASICALLY its confirmed in the scorch trials movie that there are a bunch of other mazes aside from the glade and group b. since these other mazes are never touched on there are one million and one ways people could go with them in fanfiction in terms of layout, weather conditions, etc. so i wanted to share some!
petri had tons of great ideas (go follow them right NEOW) and im just here to expand on them. 4 the sake of simplicity im gonna call the “gladers” subjects/mazers since we dont really know what theyd call themselves, and im gonna call the “glade” the centre. i am gonna keep calling new kids greenies bc i think its a funny little name + DISCLAIMER i have not read the books and i also do not have the time or energy to rewatch the movies so if any information is off my bad fr
NOT PROOFREAD
MONSTER IDEAS
a maze with birdbox style monsters so they have to navigate the maze blindfolded
a maze where the monsters are deathly afraid of some sort of metal that wicked wont send them enough of to make clothes or armor (at least not enough to keep every mazer safe) so all the people are heavily pierced. greenies come up piercingless and have to sit in the piercing hut (where they keep the metal) for however long it takes them to let the maze piercers do their job because absolutely no shot are they letting any dumbass teenager go anywhere with their rare life saving metal without it being fused to their bodies. the maze record for time a greenie has spent in the piercing hut is 3 full days and the less time you spend in there when you first arrive the more street cred you get
^ the piercer would probably be the maze leader, im picturing someone who at the beginning was the only person that could talk greenies into getting the piercing over n done with and as more came up the maze just filled with people that would only listen to the one person they trusted enough to pierce them straight out of the box.
a maze with underground monsters. you drop something heavy enough and something shoots out of the ground, jaws wide open. they have treestyle type houses, floating bridges connecting buildings. they dont have runner equivalents bc theyre working on building bridges through the maze and its like a no brainer that they cant go anywhere without a bridge. instead of “someone should try surviving the maze at night” its “we should climb the walls” and everyone thinks hes just as nuts
^theyd have a box but wouldnt it be fucking funny if their greenies just fell out of the sky?? they have a little platform right underneath where the greenies and supplies land (they call it ground zero) picturing wicked somehow forgetting to cushion the platform at first and patient zero falls out of the sky and dies on impact
a maze where the monsters arent giant teen eating beasts but deadly insects. one bite of that one and youll vomit up your internal organs, breathe in gas from that one and your entire body will be paralyzed. accidentally step on that one and your foot will swell to the size of a bowling ball and fucking explode. experiment with how your mazers cope with this - maybe everyone wears layers and layers of bee keeping style clothes outside and all the buildings are netted. do they have disinfecting rooms? do they have some sort of poison that takes the insects out? how to they distribute this poison since they cant just pierce it on like the metal maze?
a maze with the hunger games mutt type monster-mutations made out of fallen mazers
a maze where the monsters arent monsters or a threat at all but contain clues or keys thatll help the mazers get out and are notoriously impossible to catch
MAZE IDEAS
on the wiki page for group b it says their maze went vertical at one point - a maze that is completely vertical, their centre (creatively named The Hole) being like a tube just walled in by heaven high maze structures. you look up and at some point the walls give way to an abyss. most of the mazers have given up hope of getting out because it looks endless - or does it? nobody really entertains the idea that the top of The Wall is closer than they think, that the creators have put in a fake ceiling to fuck with them, but the people theyve sent up dont come back down and when the hole is quiet enough they can hear something alive up there and nobody can say for sure that their little village is any worse than what theyll find if they try to leave
hunger games quarter quell type maze where different sections of it have different monsters or obstacles. the sections with the easiest to bypass obstacles have the most complicated puzzle, the sections that are the easiest to navigate have obstacles 10x as deadly
PEOPLE IDEAS
a maze where 2 people come up in the box at a time (inspired by this thomas fic). theyd have names like box-mate or smth for whoever you come up in the box with (i.e thats jeff, he’s clints box-mate) and everyone is really close with their box-mate, platonically or otherwise. i feel like theres alot of cute potential for this idea, like an alby-equivalent talking to aggressive mazers like why dont you go find your box-mate and chill out. go cuddle or something. greenies often feeling weird about their connection w their box-mate (bc who wouldnt??) and long time mazers teasing them about it “oooooh somebodys making eyes at their booox-maaate muah muah muah”
unisex maze (although all these ideas can be unisex) where the number of boys and girls is slightly or very uneven at any given time. people have bets going around that time of the month every month about whether theyre getting a boy or a girl w things like chores and food being traded like currency. the bonfires on greenie day are just celebrations for the winning party
got this idea from petri but someone alone in a maze!!! just completely isolated for however long, not being expected to survive but making it out somehow. have you guys ever read an article or paper on the long term psychological effects of solitary confinement in prisons? of course itd be different but isolation is literally used as a torture method in some places. humans are not supposed to be so alone!! a lone mazer that sleeps by the thinnest part of the walls at night so they can hear the monsters, have some sort of connection to another living thing. a lone mazer that only survives their maze because they know their monsters like the back of their hand after spending endless nights well hidden in the maze just OBSERVING the creatures because it becomes a comfort to them, seeing something outside of themself move by its own free will. a lone mazer that never stops talking once theyre out of the maze because long silence makes them feel like theyre all alone again, a lone mazer that doesnt talk at all once theyre out of the maze because they cant stand the sound of their own voice anymore.
^ petri had the idea of an animal companion and i think that is a wonderful idea!! they have this fic where the reader had a dog and theyre really cute together. go full on disney princess & give your character a bird or a chameleon or a tiger if youre a jasmine guy. a dog or any predatory animal can conceivably help your character escape the maze - give your character a sloth or a koala or just a really lazy cat. give me a lone mazer whos animal companion is dead weight but they dont have the heart to leave them, who keeps their fat cat strapped to their chest like a baby as they fight for their life. 
person alone in a maze with a baby. ik this sounds so random but wicked wanting to see the effects of growing up in the maze so they send in a carer, someone that looks after the mazers before theyre sent in. the carer raises the kid angry at whoever has trapped their now adopted child in this torture chamber come to find out they used to be one of them
maze where the subjects are supposed to get injured in some way to force them to rely on one another. a subject being deafened by a banshee type monster, a subject getting a limb amputated by medjack equivalents after getting suddenly and suspisciously sick. they dont spend so much time mapping the maze as figuring out how to get all of them through to the very end because they quite literally cannot make it without every single mazer
a maze where the subjects keep their memories but theyve all been altered. some remember wicked as saviours providing shelter for them as orphaned children, others remember being restrained, poked and prodded, a vague feeling of grief and betrayal that they cant explain. others dont remember wicked at all and insist that the maze is a paradise compared to desert wastelands filled with zombie people and viral disease.
your mazers can react to this in any way shape or form. maybe factions/cliques of people with similar memories form. nobody wants a leader from a different group in charge of the entire maze so they dont have one, there not being any rules that apply to every group in the maze because nobody will listen to eachother. everyone thinks the ones that dont remember wicked are crazy and the anti-wicked group have the most reason to become violent, have been the most violent in the past so everyone thinks theyre psychos. it takes them longer than other groups to get out despite having memory because they all take over different parts of the maze and refuse to share information.
mazers that have access to technology. they can make things like recordings and audios but no way of connecting to the outside world and no information aside from what they put in themselves. they learn to program things and make robots/drones to navigate the maze for them, make intro videos for greenies so they dont have to deal with them. instead of track hoes and medjacks they have groups of people that work on different kinds of technology because theyve learnt to automate most of the stuff the gladers do by hand. some work on exploring the maze, some make weapons, some study the monster corpses theyve managed to get, etc etc.
CULTURE/TRADITION IDEAS
the different ways people commemorate dead mazers!! in the glade they cross out their names on the maze walls and in group Bs maze they like sculpt their faces into the ice. give me a maze that tattoos the names of their fallen, whos oldest mazers have the most ink so it kind of goes without saying that the more tattoos you have the more authority you have. greenies being able to tell clearly whos been around longer based on which names they have tattooed. give me a maze that mounts the weapons of the dead on a wall, a maze with a regular graveyard that the mazers visit on slow days
greenie events!!! give me greenie celebrations like the bonfire we see in the glade, parties or games, feasts to welcome newcomers. give me a maze where the arrival of a greenie is grim, one more mouth to feed, one more lost soul trapped. a maze where everything dims down around that time of the month because another person means another month theyve failed to get out. give me mazes that test their greenies to see if theyre of any use to the group because those that arent are dead weight. a maze that holds Greenie Trials, where you have to complete an obstacle course or survive a night in the maze or complete some obscure challenge and if you cant youre tossed to the monsters.
^bonus points for a gally-equivalent getting to say ominous shit like The Last One Didn’t Make It
TATTOO SUBGENRE
because i dont know what else to do with these
maze where wicked programmed the monsters to respond to some basic specific kind of symbol and the people have it tattooed in very visible places, painted on every hut and wall
maze where the monsters are deathly allergic to some sort of liquid so the subjects tattoo themselves with it
maze where you have to be incredibly light on your feet when navigating the maze so people tattoo maps on themselves.
GROUP B
i know im supposed to be talking about maze ideas not mentioned in canon but group b has so much potential their wiki says that group b doesnt have runners, they literally all just go out into the maze in a giant group, AND that their monsters are out day and night PLUS their maze is a frozen wasteland. i imagine any girls that arent strong enough to withstand everything are like pretty quickly weeded out and only the hardasses that adapted quickly enough were left omg the cultural norms that would form?? theyre all absolutely jacked and if a greenie dies nobody bats an eye cause tough shit. no introduction no transition period you come into the maze with us and dodge airborne monsters or you stay here and freeze to death. the creators do send them medical supplies but over time they start to notice the way the group interacts w eachother so they start sending less to see if they can push it even farther, make the girls have to ration their medical supplies. it works tenfold oh you broke your arm and you want a sling, aris?? rachel got her arm CHEWED OFF by a FLYING MUTANT PTERADACTDOL and didnt ask me for so much as a BANDAID
this is like evidenced on the wiki too multiple girls suggesting they just leave aris to freeze to death or get eaten by monsters in the maze because theyre SUSPISCIOUS of him?? like absolutely unprovoked too thomas had a stung glader accusing him of being at fault for the maze an unconscious girl who came at the wrong time who is apparently going to be the last greenie they ever recieve feverishly gasping his name just so much ammo for the gladers to toss him out and it takes the death of like half the glade and an insane gally to get him where aris was upon arrival. they literally punch aris square in the face immediately after they decide not to kill him bc “its the fastest way to remember your name” like how did you guys realise that??? "fastest way” so you admit there are other ways??? why are you giving all your greenies concussions
GEN
because i dont know where to put these
explore the concept of failed mazes. a desert maze where the subjects couldnt survive on the monthly supplies because they couldnt farm any food on their own because, well, desert. a maze where wicked did something like the memory altering maze, purposefully dividing them but they went too far and the mazers killed eachother off hunger games style
test mazes! have you ever wondered why the mazes operate the way they do? why do they send people up once a month? why are the mazers of all different ages? why not make the centre already stocked with food and buildings so the subjects can spend more time cracking the maze instead of learning how to grow crops?
a maze where they sent all the people up at once and without guidance from more experienced subjects they pretty quickly killed themselves off. a maze where the subjects were too young and werent organising themselves or mapping the maze fast enough, a maze where the subjects were too old and lost hope faster and easier. a maze where the mazers had everything they needed upon arrival and nobody wanted to leave.
AND MANY MORE!!!
IN conclusion make ur own mazes people!!!!! get creative w it there are so many different directions you can take it in!! pls feel free to use any ideas thats what theyre here for i dont need credit but PLEASE tag me id love to see anything that comes from this nonsense!!! nd lmk if anybody wants a pt2 because i had a million half baked ideas that didnt make the cut i am filled to the brim with Thoughts
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