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#ive been reading them for the last month or more
bratzforchris · 2 days
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Goldfish
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Summary: Matt has a chronic illness that the nurses at his local clinic are all too familiar with. The new nurse in town hasn't had a chance to meet him yet, but what happens when she does?
Pairing: Matt x nursefem!reader
Warnings: Mentions of needles and blood, chronic illness, use of medical steroids, flirty nurse!reader (this is all fiction!), Matt is 20/reader is 23, Matt has a service dog!!
Word Count: Just over 2k
A/N: This is lowkey inspired by the experience I had a few days ago with a flirty nurse while I was in the ER (I'm still thinking about him--had me giggling n kicking my feet n shit like I was in a rom com [this is definitely a story time]). ANYWAY, Matt has PFAPA (my chronic illness!) here. It's usually a childhood thing, but some rare cases like myself don't grow out of it. You can read more about it here, if you'd like. Enjoy!!
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Matt Sturniolo is all too familiar with his local pediatric emergency room. In fact, he’s been there so many times that the nurses have started to treat him as less of a patient, and more of a friend. “Hey Matt!”, “How’s YouTube going, Matt?”, “I remember you!”,  “I saw you last time!”, and the list went on. Some might ask why he still went there at almost 21, but when you had a chronic illness, it was best to see the people who had been caring for you for years if you could. These nurses had been caring for him at least once a month, ever since he was 12, and were usually quite skilled in how to manage the brunette’s comfort. 
Matt had PFAPA, which left him with high fevers and extremely sore, almost strep like sore throats every month. It was a miserable thing to live, and it really impacted his happiness, especially on days like today when he was having one of the worst flare ups he’d had in a long time and both Nick and Chris were unable to come along with him to the doctor. Luckily for Matt, he had his service dog, Emily, with him, but he still longed for a human companion as well. While some people wondered why he ‘needed’ a service dog, Matt’s disability was invisible. Emily would let him know when his flare ups were starting as well as laying on him to soothe his body aches and chills and helping with his anxiety at doctor visits. 
The nurse tech took him into the back rather quickly, running their usual tests of strep, the flu, and COVID. About 98% of the time, they would all come back negative, but the hospital staff liked to do all they could to make Matt more comfortable. Sure enough, the nurse practitioner stepped in about 30 minutes later, a sad look on her face. 
“How are you feeling, Matt?”
Matt shrugged, grimacing as his throat ached when he swallowed. “‘M not great.” he murmured, petting his pup’s head softly as the anxiety welled in his chest. 
“Well, everything came back negative,” she told, a sad look on her face. “We can test you for mono, though. You have a lot of the symptoms for that. That one is a blood test. We’re also going to give you an IV since you’re dehydrated.”
That sentence alone made him want to cry. Despite the tattoos and piercings he had, Matt hated medical needles. They hurt and they freaked him out. Sensing his anxiety, Emily scooted closer to Matt, whining softly and butting his leg with her head. Matt pet the dog’s head softly, steadying himself to get his breath. “Okay…” he breathed, steadying himself. 
The nurse practitioner patted his leg gently, hurrying out of the room to attend to her other patients. Matt began to panic, his breathing rapidly increasing as tears welled in his eyes. He didn’t want any of this. He just wanted them to tell him what was wrong so he could get some meds, go home, and sleep. Patting the bed he was laying on gently, Emily hopped up, curling into Matt’s side. The pooch rested her head on her owner’s chest, subconsciously working to slow the brunette’s heart rate. 
A few minutes later, another nurse and a lab tech stepped into the small room he was in, holding a tray full of supplies. Matt squeezed his eyes shut tightly at the sight, already dreading the feeling of getting blood drawn. Both healthcare workers were very kind, of course, whispering soft nothings to him as they patted his leg and prepared to draw his blood. They promised him that the procedure would be quick and easy, but those words never mixed well with a chronic illness. 
“Your vein rolled because you’re dehydrated. We’re going to have to draw from your other arm.” the lab tech informed him.
“O…kay.” Matt whispered shakily, trying to get his breath and the feeling in his hand back. 
The brunette knew that it was okay to cry, but that didn’t make it any less embarrassing. He was a grown man, laying here in a kid’s hospital room, trying not to cry while they tried to draw his blood again in his right arm. Unfortunately for Matt, the dehydration he was experiencing from his extremely sore throat caused his vein to roll again.
“Oh sweetheart,” the nurse said sympathetically, patting his leg. “We’re going to give you a minute, okay? Let’s get some water and Gatorade in you before we try again.”
Matt just nodded as he was passed a mini water bottle and a cherry Gatorade. He was hearing their words, but honestly, he didn’t care. All he knew was that he was going to be poked and prodded again, and he didn’t like it. Emily snuggled into his side, whining softly and brushing her sandpaper tongue against her owner’s arm, trying desperately to get Matt to feel better. 
“Alright, honey,” the sweet, older nurse stepped into Matt’s room again, holding a fresh tub of supplies to draw his blood. “Let’s try it in your left hand, okay?”
Because chronic illness never made things easy, the third time was still a failure, leaving Matt with an already bruising hand and tears pricking his eyes. Before he knew it, he was being shoved a packet of goldfish crackers, a popsicle, and more water, being informed that he had to eat before they could try again. The snacks felt like swallowing shrapnel, making the boy cringe every time he had to swallow. 
“Hello, oldest patient of the day!” You cheered, practically walking into Matt’s room on a cloud of glitter. 
Matt jumped in shock, petting his dog’s head to calm his racing heart. “...hi…” he mumbled. 
“They called me in for backup,” You explained, a smile on your face. You absolutely loved nursing, and every day at your job truly felt like a gift. You’d graduated from nursing school last year at the top of your class and had been working in the pediatric emergency room ever since. It wasn’t every day that you had a patient who was 20, but you didn’t mind. “We’re getting this blood draw this time so you can get the fuck out of here,” You slapped a hand over your mouth. “Shit, I’m sorry. I hope you don’t mind if I curse.”
For the first time all day, a small giggled made its way out of Matt’s mouth. “No, I’m okay.”
“I see you have a buddy,” You commented. “That’s nice.”
“She helps my…anxiety.” Matt seemingly chose his words carefully, but they still made you smile. It was clear that the boy had a bond with his pup. 
“I’m gonna look at your tonsils first so we can get you some medicine to help you swallow and then we’ll draw your blood, okay?” You asked, wanting to make sure your patient was comfortable with everything. 
At the mention of a blood draw, Matt’s blue eyes widened with anxiety, his body becoming visibly tense. You had become in tune with this, sliding on a pair of pink latex gloves and patting the soft material of the pajama pants on his knee. 
“Hey, look at me,” You murmured softly, waiting for his response. Once Matt had looked at you, you chugged on. “We’re just chilling, okay? I’m not going to do anything yet.”
Matt nodded, letting out an anxious breath he’d been holding. “Okay.” he whispered. 
You grabbed the flashlight to look in his throat off the wall. “Alright, I’m pretty sure you know the drill,” You chuckled. “Open and say ‘ahhh!’...oh yeah, you’ve got an icky throat. That looks like it hurts. Although…did you have a blue popsicle? You’ve got blue tonsils. It’s rather endearing.”
Matt flushed, his ears going red as he nodded. You smiled softly, throwing away the cap and hanging the flashlight back on the wall. You gave the boy the steroidal liquid the nurse practitioner had drawn up for him to ease the swelling in his throat, a blush creeping onto your face as Matt scrunched his eyes up at the disgusting taste, quite literally making grabby hands for his Gatorade. 
“Fuck, that’s gross.” he whined. 
“At least you got it over with!” You hummed cheerfully, in a small aim to make him feel better. “Unfortunately, it’s time for the bad part, but we can make it a little less shitty if you want? Maybe you could play me some music? Something you like, okay?” 
Matt fiddled with his phone for a moment before landing on Dominic Fike’s latest release. You smiled at the lyrics, releasing this was one of your favorite songs at the moment. You prepped the materials needed to finally get Matt’s blood drawn for the mono test, patting his knee gently in an effort to calm his trembling frame as he rubbed his pup’s head. 
“Hey, can I tell you something?” You whispered shyly, setting him up for the procedure. “You’ve got goldfish in your teeth–it’s really cute.” You giggled, your own cheeks becoming red. 
The brunette whined, breathing deeply as you began to draw his blood. “That’s embarrassing.” he grunted. 
A few deep breaths and small, sad noises later, you had finally gotten the sample needed. “We got it!” You told Matt excitedly, placing a Barney band aid across the site. “All done!”
You bustled around the room, making sure Matt was comfortable, throwing away your supplies, and making notes on your clipboard. You helped the boy drink water and got him (and Emily) a blanket, before taking his samples down to the lab to get checked out. By the time everything was said and done, an hour had passed and Matt was asleep against the small bed when you knocked on his door. 
“Hey sleepyhead,” You giggled, stepping into the room. “Nice nap?” Matt fisted his eyes, nodding as you went over his discharge instructions. You always hated releasing patients with no explanations or answers as to why they felt so bad, but in cases like Matt’s, that wasn’t always possible. Your best bet was to make him as comfortable as possible here. “Do you have any questions?”
The brunette shook his head, finally able to speak now that the steroids were beginning to work their magic on his throat. “No, but thank you. You’ve been the best nurse I’ve had all day…maybe even ever.”
You blushed at the compliment, helping the boy stand since you knew he was already exhausted, dehydrated, and lightheaded from having his blood drawn. “Do you need help getting to your car? I actually just got off.” You murmured shyly, glancing at the clock on the wall. 
Despite Matt’s steadiness on his feet and his grip on Emily’s leash, the blue-eyed boy nodded all the same, a quietly flustered look crossing his face. You smiled yourself, maneuvering Matt out to his car with a firm, yet gentle hand on his lower back. Thankfully, the waiting room had quieted down quite a bit now that it was nearing the evening, so no one questioned or pulled you away from walking Matt out. It was a slow trek with your patient being a bit unsteady on his feet, but you didn’t mind. Matt’s presence made you happy in an odd sort of way; you hated that he wasn’t well and that this would continue to happen for him, but you couldn’t stop your mind from thinking about seeing him again. 
“I um…I hope this isn’t weird, but I would really like to see you again. Maybe another time? When you’re not in pain?” You coughed and chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of your neck. 
He smiled as he slid into the driver’s seat, rubbing his aching head that was seemingly getting better just by being around you. “I’d like that,” he offered. “I’d like that a lot, actually.”
Matt didn’t end up leaving his trip to the hospital with many answers beside the usual ‘It’s your chronic illness’, but what he did end up leaving with was your phone number scribbled onto a pink sticky note that he had been given in the parking lot. 
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tags ♡: @jake-and-johnnies-slut @chrissfavwh3re @suyqa @chrissturnswife @mbsbaby @herxysc-blog @lovingchrissposts @caffeinatedscorpio @spencereidenthusiast @crazychrisl0v3r @sturnioloxlver @whicked-hazlatwhore @blahbel668 @sturncakez @junnniiieee07 @biggesthat3r @sturniolowhore @patscorner @julesgrl @0strawberrysorbet0 @strombolilovr @matt444nixi @remussbitch @devthepoet1221 @mattyblover07 @loisnotaa @mollyquinnxoxo @graysturns @pepsicolapussy333 @ginswife @emmagirouard @athaliahxoxo @bitchydragonparadise @ilydeaky @soggyslugg169 @m00n-0n-paws @books0fever @stingerayyy2 @sunsetsturniolos @mimi-luvzyu @raysmayhem-72 @faygo-frog @oobleoob @billsslutt @aemrsy
note ♡: if you'd like to be added to my taglist, click here <3
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gjdraws · 9 months
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and in a complete 180 from your normal fare
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szappan · 11 days
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university.. university leave me alone
#heres the situation: for my cognitive literary studies class (quite fun) we had to pick primary material and a cognitive angle to analyse it#from. and the deadline was coming up and i who have been thinking very intensely about robots for the last half a year picked#yeah you guessed it. fucking PIERS PLOWMAN. which is not fun for me but i panicked about the deadline#so now i have to do something about piers plowman and its cognitive literary properties#and im in hell this is hell i have been extremely stressed about piers plowman for a month. to the point where ive been in physical pain#AND I CANNOT. THINK OF ANYTHING. ABOUT PIERS PLOWMAN.#and the teacher for that class is so nice and chill and she was like you can pick anything at all. and i went with piers plowman#like it's interesting but from what COGNITIVE angle can i approach piers plowman.#ive been thinking about saying exactly this that piers plowman is more for historical linguists and theologists than narratologists but im#also positive plenty of scholars read piers plowman for the plot#so then i thought about the characters and whether you can Connect with them and whether they help you Immerse yourself in the story and#other terminology i learned in cognitive literary studies class.#theyre allegorical and very 1 dimensional and there could be something about whether we from 2024 understand them in the same way#people from the 14th century did. like this was what i put in my proposal when i made it#but now i actually have to make the slides and use cognitive literary papers for this and it's just not going at all. i cant do it.#i cant do anything i cant enjoy the daylight and the warmer weather i cant think about anything other than im not making progress on this#and it's bad for me!! it's bad for my health i feel bad. why did i go with piers plowman why did i not pick watership down#my post#i have plenty to say about watership downm cognitively.#also about old possums book of practical cats#maybe i could email her and tell her id like to change it.. no#ive also been reading the tombs of atuan which is incredible
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kafkaguy · 4 months
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character wrapped 2023 💥
tagged by @davidtennantpussytulpa ^-^ i didn't know how many to do so i copied tara and did top 10. i know the severance guys are Four Of Them but i can't separate them theyre all equally important to me
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will graham (hannibal), em haywood (nope), aziraphale (good omens), mark & dylan & helly & irving (severance), hawkeye pierce (mash), martha jones (doctor who), ivan karamazov (the brothers karamazov), kim kitsuragi (disco elysium), stewy hosseini (succession), ruescott melshi (andor/rogue one)
i will tag... @fagician @britomart @libraryfag @roadwhores @majorbaby @globuspolski @hadleyfraserfaggot @tenderscience if u want to ^-^
#and now i will explain them all in detail#cos i started watching hannibal back in like. january or february and will immediately set up camp in my head and started to settle there#*I* pay rent to *HIM*. he lives there permanently. sweating and monologuing constantly#em was not only the character of 2022 but also of 2023 and of 2024 and the rest of the decade and all decades to come#she had such an impact on me keke palmer's performance will live with me forever and i love nope so fucking much#i almost didnt include her because nope was more of a last year obsession. but she lives on#aziraphale.........no comment#severance.......i love them all so much and at first i wanted just irving and then just helly and then i realise i cried over mark this week#and then i realised i couldnt possibly leave out dylan when hes probably my favourite character. so then i settled for all of them#hawkeye is my fucking wife. enough said#martha... well i knew i had to have a doctor who character. i thought maybe the doctor but then i thought their companions mean more to me#sometimes at least. i did have a fourteen icon for a while but then i was like but Donna..... and then i thought. well#these past few months at least martha jones has been eating away at my heart. i go batshit insane when i think about her#her impact. her grace. her power. so she had to go on the list.it was a toss up between her and donna for sure though#then i figured i had to include a karamazov since reading that book took up half of my year. and ivan was my favourite of the 3. so <3#kim goes without saying. literally nothing to be said hes the character Of All Time. to me#stewy also goes without saying ive had so many Stewy Save Me moments since the beginning of season 4 all the way to the end of the year#i miss him every day. he is the moment. i wish there was more of him all the time#and the last one is a bit of a wildcard cos all my insanity abt melshi has been on my andor sideblog.#but rest assured ive been thoroughly Not Normal about him. he literally side appears in 4 episodes and has 11 total minutes onscreen#but i love him. so much. and hes occupied most of my thoughts since september. once again his impact his power his grace. his homosexuality#enough said. that's all. thanks for reading. this was a great year for autism and madness#tag game#🍪
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rosemirmir · 4 months
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Gotchard Spoilers and Theories in a stream of consciousness under the cut
Getting feral over reading the rising fighter English lyrics and connecting potential dots in my head.
The uses of both fire, tomorrow and future, in the lyrics makes me very 👀 since daybreak gotchard is now in the show and looks to be a prominent part of this arc.
Some snippets that have really got my attention:
I was born into this world for a reason When you’re alive you can get the good and the bad Go beyond yesterday Go change the world Ready, go push your heart forward Stand up and take action Move on and look forward Going on until it burns out, let's go Don't stop, it's not over yet No one is truly alone Now is the time to fight
I think the entire opening chorus is worth mentioning, since I feel it describes Hotaro's overall attitude pretty well.
How he's willing to keep on going for his dreams, what he would call his "gotcha!", and pushing through and never giving up along the way. As well as fighting alongside those beside him.
Get it on Gotchard Gotchard Gotchard Burning Fire Gotchard Gotchard Gotchard Shining Future
This part of the chorus really is interesting to look at now given the existence of Gotchard Daybreak looking at this has me thinking as I've been listening to this on repeat since the full version dropped:
Gotchard Daybreak might be Hotaro from the future?
Either that, or some other alchemist from the future. (And there's a lot of possibilities there if it's not a future!Hotaro.)
But even if he is or not, given his one quote about Hotaro grasping the future into his own hands, my guess I he might have come from a future and is trying to make Hotaro change something that must have happened from his time period.
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Whoever this is, he has come to steer Hotaro to the right course and help him overcome whatever weaknesses he is still currently dealing with, and finding himself more in general.
He's stronger than he was at the start of the show, but Hotaro definitely still has much more growing he needs to do. Which was also shown in this episode.
Something I've been taking note of is a general theme in Gotchard that looks to be shaping up thus far is: Taking charge of your own future, with your own hands.
Which we can also see parts of this theme present in how Rinne's arc looks to be shaping up. I think even Spanner might potentially get a taste of this theme too...
(Though it's still a bit too soon for me to say with any confidence. We're only now beginning to get more looks into him since his mentor is now part of the picture.)
And I think the lyrics in this song really reflect that theme of grasping the future too.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months
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...
#me @ my youngest sister at 6.30 this morning: yooooooo can u draw me a fishy so i can get it tattooed on me?#i drew her some flowers so i want a paralell tattoo with her initials bc she has my initials on her#but i literally have not spoken to her since like may bc i do not talk to my sisters unless we r in the same room. no hate we just dont hav#a lot in common. it makes me a lil sad tho bc im curious abt them. my youngest sister is at least nice to me 😭#ive been thinking abt asking her for ages and last night i was asked abt my sisters so i was like. the time is now#while im still a bit elevated#which has been to my advantage bc i was able to stay v chatty and energetic while talking to ppl. and i think i made some friends#we bonded over fic reading. so theyre a bit. ya kno. girls gays and theys of science#we make the world go round. but its so interesting to hear them talk abt coming to school here bc they both liked where they were and r#leaving their support systems. and im like bruh if i didn't leave the southwest i was gonna die. im so happy to b here#support system? whats that. i talk to my parents once a month and that's it lol. but im gonna try to establish one here#and try to actually make actual friends. this school is way better abt making grad students interact#my last school was not at all like that. but anyway i had fun#and i mean im only at the start of the semester. and im in a good mood. and i kno things will get stressful#but im just really happy i got accepted here#and the longer im here the more clearly i can see how much i was suffering#the funny thing is tho that i wrote this last night and only hours later i was squirming in frustration bc the fact that im back in therapy#means i feel a greater obligation to not b actively self destructive. evil coping mechanisms my beloved#this is y my mum wanted me back in therapy bc im a goodie 2 shoes and when my counselor is like: did u do X the next time i see her. ill b#honest and itll b annoying >:-[ ugh#its just hard for me to b around ppl a lot bc i get stuck in mental loops bc ocd. which is exhausting. and i want it to stop#and i want to do bad things to make it stop but i wont bc im trying to b better#its just funny to me that ill go from everythings awful to everythings great i shoukd talk to my sisters and make friends and do this and#this and this. to oh god i cant do this anymore in such short time frames with certainty that how im feeling is how ive always felt#ive also noticed that my peaks of high energy do come before stressful events. which does make me worry for future stressful events. like#defending. i mean ive never gone fully off the tracks but its a lil alarming when it feels like the train is going at a million miles an hr#unrelated#meanwhile my other sister is apparently in Colorado but when i saw the pics is was like: YOU BITCH#R U CLOSE TO ME RN??? but no. Colorado is far away
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This is the most expensive paint I own now
#it was 18.99#i had a michaels gift card and they didnt have the thing i was actually there for so i got myself a lil treat#most of my paints are walmart paints cuz theyre the best cheap paint (and also the cheapest acrylics ive found)#but i have some liquitex basics that i also bought with a gift card#those were my most expensive paints#i also got myself some teeny detail brushes cuz ive been wanting some that i didnt get in a paint by number set lol#ALSO#my replacement light curtain got here today#unfortunately one of the thumbtacks holding them up broke and i cant reach it without a ladder to replace it#and moving my bed out of the way is way too much effort so i guess ill just suffer that part of the curtain drooping down farther#than the rest#its a lot brighter than the other one#which. that one was 3....? years old. so that checks out#honestly im impressed it still turned on but it was having enough issues i went ahead and got a new one#same brand#hopefully it lasts as long#cuz most reviews i read of other ones thought them lasting for more than 4 months was impressive#so clearly them lasting 3 years of constant use is unusual for these types of lights#i had to go to 4 stores today#i was just gonna go to michaels and target. but then dillons sent me a text reminding me to pick up my prescription (it auto refills)#and walmart had colanders and mixing bowls cheaper than target ($2 each instead of $4 each)#so since i was gonna be over there for my meds anyway i decided to stop at walmart for those things since theyre for rinsing my rocks off#so id rather just go with the cheapest options#but i still had to go to target cuz its the only place that has my favorite granola#BUT the granola was on sale today so thats good#.......gift cards dont expire right? i have a hobby lobby gift card from last Christmas that i havent used cuz i dont go to hobby lobby#but i need to check if they have a jar lid with a soap dispenser on it cuz michaels didnt have any and i have a skull jar i wanna turn into#a soap dispenser cuz my current skull soap dispenser is a cheap plastic one i got at walmart and it sucks
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britneyshakespeare · 9 months
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let me tell you. i have read 21 out of 38 of the extant canonical plays of william shakespeare. the first one to make me close the book and think "well i wish that had been better" was henry v.
#i read it in under a week so i can't say it was a huge waste of time but like. dawg#do you guys remember how furiously i was blogging richard ii and henry iv parts 1 and 2 earlier this year???#i was OBSESSEDDDDD#i told myself i was gonna read other things in july and put off reading henry v until august bc i wanted smth to look forward to#and i wanted to sit and enjoy the henriad more slowly#it was such a dull ending to a tetralogy that had 3 beautiful and diverse plays preceeding it#it kinda ruins the whole series for me sdfsf#no. not the whole series but i dont think i can ever enjoy all 4 of this plays in sequence like i did the wars of the roses#which i was also blogging about in a frenzy when i read them several years ago and watched jane howell's productions last month#henry v is a skip#tales from diana#there have been other shakespeare plays that i ended and felt kinda nothing about but usually bc i had a hard time reading them#like let's say i slogged through them slowly#like king lear i read on and off for months. so i wasn't really in the rhythm of it#same w love's labor's lost#i want to rewatch those plays sometime soon bc i kinda have no memory of them#but i still enjoyed the poetry and characters of them while i WAS reading them#even if my own pace kinda didn't get me the most out of it#i consumed henry v comparatively. im not sure how many other shakespeare plays ive read in under a week tbh?#i try not to keep track of time bc reading a play is different than watching it. it feels like punishment for me to try and#make scruples about how much i should or shouldn't be reading at once. bc a play is meant to be consumed in a couple hours#so if i leave off at a weird spot. it's like well. just get back into it diana#there is no 'right' place to leave off really. shakespeare's plays didn't even have intermissions#but yeah. if anything im grateful i didn't take a punishingly long time reading it or else i'd be even unhappier abt it
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kellystar321 · 1 year
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#periodical life updates#finished all my criminology homework! now i got sunday off to chill and maybe draw and also me and my sibs might go to chinatown? but idk#because dad's bbq-ing which might change some plans. anyway! eating dinner now :> its not my favorite but it is okay <3#high priority art to-dos: commission | daily eca (for tomorrow and the project) | art for *** and ******* | annual birthday redraw#general arts: mrd thing for monday | solepsi art | things for the ace iterations | the cases ref#self indulgence: drawtectives (i wanna draw more eugenes) | agent | fun ace things#my queue is winding down so that might go quiet in a bit <3 there's about a dozen things left <3 we'll see i suppose <3#project sekai updates: cannot believe i have to wait 6 more events until the next wxs event i just want a cool emu :'0#my strongest team is all four stars except for a three star emu; i just want a 4 star for her <3 also!! nicori smile survey for that event!#and also its probably the one where tsukasa makes a child cry by yelling about how hes gonna be a cool star hgkjh#but theres been so many events that just! arent wxs! it's been 13 events since the last one to the next one we get u-u <33 i miss them;;;#but we get some mmj ones so at least theres that <3 mmj's my assigned group and wxs's my favorite group so i have an attachment to both <3#but yeah im gonna save up gems for a cool emu card <3 theres the valentines day one too? AND ALSO. TSUKASA AS A KNIGHT?#FOR THE WHITE DAY EVENT!! HE LOOKS AESTHETIC AS HEL I LOVE KNIGHTS!!! <3 so maybe i'll try for those!!#im also writing a drawtectives fic and recently i drew some aces from one of the old aus <3 i miss him i love my little guy <33#im downloading all my old twitter archives. i have a lot of memories there i need to keep or else i'll be so sad <3 trying my best <33#i have school on monday as usual <3 can you believe my birthdays coming up this month? it feels like ive been 21 forever hgjkh <3#i think thats all the updates for now; im sleepy <33 goodnight. thank you for reading; ily <33
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queertemporality · 2 years
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after doing some practice tests, it seems that I will soon reach the first major benchmark in the language im learning. honestly did not truly believe I would ever make it even this far. it’s really not that much of an accomplishment (I promise) but it still is one!
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vaniliens · 23 days
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I cannot let miscom win but it is so hard trying to come up with ways to communicate something with someone when that someone was supposed to be the one in charge of communicating it to you despite not saying Jack shit without trying to look like an asshole because youre kind of disappointed and you kind of come off as a know it all. Because. We. Didnt communicate. About it at all but somehow I know something she hasn't told me . which. Is what im mad about.
#DAYS without being disappointed in the way ive been treated: 0!!!!!!#nillas#vanili powder#Lets see how this goes#will i A.) Actually Leave this organization because this is my last straw (Again.)#or B.) Just forget about it#or c.)!!! Attempt to Forget about it only to have it resurface Later on!!! (AGAIN!!!)#Look im sorry but how was I not part of the planning process. youre telling me you set up what the competitions about all the sponsors and#THE GOD DAMN PROPOSAL without asking ME???? about ANYTHING???? After telling me and my one guy in my team that we dont have any meetings#about it to attend or Listen in to or anything for months?????#Who do you think made that idea??? you???? Did you make it and thought you shouldn't consult me? You knew about my skills and chose not to#Ask me about things you knew I wouldve been able to help with??? Do you remember what the purpose of this event is? Are you fucking serious?#Did you seriously just sideline US because of THEM are you fucking kidding me#all of this and she has never once told me a single thing about what was inside the proposal or the details of the event#Not even when i needed it for like a mock up trial we had to do to get this approved AND I WAS THE ONE BEING QUESTIONED#I ASKED HER FOR IT BECAUSE OF COURSE I DID AND SHE WAS ALL ''I'll Send you some questions and answers that you'll memorize for the trial''#ARE YOU KIDDING ME.#MEMORIZE?#I CANT JUST READ THE WHOLE THING MYSELF? SEE WHAT YOU DID WITH MY IDEA ALONG WITH WHAT EVERYONE ELSE DID TO IT?#I DIDNT EVEN KNOW WHAT THE NAME WAS AND HOW TO PRONOUNCE IT UNTIL THE MOCK UP AND IT WAS IN ENGLISH#its just so weird and irritating how shes literally side lined us despite how [ORIGINALLY] it was supposed to promote our club#What the fuck do you mean im not even one of the main players on it. Im literally the head of the division thats hosting the event.#What the hell do you mean by making me (and everyone else) just.#ughhwhhahhahahh#will i use this as more fuel to quit another organization or will i just give up because this is the last one#& ik if i quit ill probably lose my few acquaintances in it
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angeltrapz · 3 months
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so I may or may not be writing smth
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#been super creative lately. and its not because of the new year. i know that cuz i forgot it was a new year#but like in the last month ive taken up knitting again#and i learned a bunch of new tecniques and tried new projects#ive been reading more. like i went from almost never reading to reading back to back books#and today i was struck by a shit ton of inspiration and motivation for my clipboard project#(clipboard project: i work at a summer camp. clipboards are useful there. im painting a special one for every area director. office member.#and my own area staff)#i brainstormed good ideas to paint on each of them and reached out to friends of people if i ciuldnt think of something#i have a decent list. and I'm planning on starting to paint them tonight#im really excited for some of them. theres one area director. of the nature area#he loves fish and fishing and is incredibly knowledgeable about it#im going to paint common fishes of our camp's lake in the style of an educational poster. yknow the cream colored ones#yknow. do you see the vision? its a good vision#im so excited. and im getting off of work early so i have even more time to paint#i just need to build my desk chair so i can paint at my desk#im having a great time despite the fact that my parents are visiting and i have to spend all day tomorrow with them#edit: i just realized all of this motivation happened when i started taking my meds again#crazy. i felt less mentally ill once i started taking the anti-mental illness pills
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kingdomkome · 8 months
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what i do need its to read a book that will completely anihilate me
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miwaxo · 10 months
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🗣
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batautism · 11 months
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ive been in a low reading phase and got a lil bit on the way to get my reading habit picked up again and went hmm ykn what would be great to read. the republic by plato . this will be easy and accessible when i haven't read in 3 months
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