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x-lulu · 3 years

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gurl 1-99 I dare you😄

haha no if that's too much just 1, 2, 24, 32, 77, 85, 95

well I finally answered them all babe, took me a week haha 💗

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most? world away by tonight alive, you give love a bad name by bon jovi, amnesia by five seconds of summer, had enough by lower than atlantis, take it out on me by thousand foot krutch, if I could fly by one direction, I just named the first that popped in my head

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? YOU

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17? a wind came in off the harbour, bringing the smell of the sea

4: What do you think about most? I’m an overthinker with anxiety so yeah I think about everything a lot, so I wouldn’t know what I think about most

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say? just an okay haha

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on? with, an oversized shirt and underwear

7: What’s your strangest talent? latin maybe?

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence) I don’t know rock? I’m not really the kind of person that puts a gender in things

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you? uhm I don’t think so, now I feel unimportant haha

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar? I’m more an using a hairbrush as a microphone kind of girl

11: Do you have any strange phobias? probably, I’m scared of a lot of things

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? don’t think so

13: What’s your religion? officially I’m Christian, I’m a bit searching for what I believe in tho, I do believe in jezus but not like walking on water and coming back from the death, I might believe in the Greek gods and nature gods

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? enjoying the fresh air, going for a walk/ride and look at cute animals

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? behind

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? even if you kill me I don’t know what band to say

17: What was the last lie you told? I lied about not being sad

18: Do you believe in karma? I don’t know, sometimes, but like there are people who’ve done terrible things, where is their karma?

19: What does your URL mean? it’s just my nickname, I didn’t want to make it fandom related because I’m a multi fandom and I didn’t want to have to change my url a lot, I also didn’t want to put my real name because I don’t want people to find me who I know in real life haha

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? my insecurity is my greatest weakness I think, I don’t know my greatest strength... maybe being a person who people feel loved and welcome by? Idk if people feel that way and idk if it’s a strength. If I’m gonna be poetic I have to say my greatest weakness and strength are both that I love someone with my whole heart, when I start loving you, I love you so much, I would do anything for you, but when someone fucks up, I’ll still love them even tho they don’t deserve it, so that comes with a lot of pain so yeah a weakness and a strength

21: Who is your celebrity crush? rudy pankow and dylan obrien

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping? yes

23: How do you vent your anger? I keep everything to myself till I explode and start screaming

24: Do you have a collection of anything? music records, stones and just memories from places I’ve been to

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? neither? If I’m comfortable I do enjoy video chatting especially in times like these where you can’t speak in real life

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become? this is hard one, I’ve never been happy with who I am, I do like me better than who I used to be

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? sound I love is when you’re walking trough the woods just the birds, can’t think of one I hate, I definitely have some they just don’t come to mind rn

28: What’s your biggest “what if”? what if I keep going through and it doesn’t get better

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? yes and yes/maybe

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. my laptop and my pillow

31: Smell the air. What do you smell? flowers

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to? xanten

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast? uhm west coast? Idk haha

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? harry styles is the first one that pops in my head

35: To you, what is the meaning of life? to find love, can be someone something, experience things that make you happy, enjoy it, learn, better the world

36: Define Art. creating something, it can have a meaning but it also can’t, a lot of people give it a deep meaning, which can be it, I just think art doesn’t always have to be deep are spectacular it can be someone making something because they have so much going in their head and they find peace in creating art and get inspired by their own experience, people also can it just do for fun, there are so many different kind of art and artists, I don’t think it can’t be defined

37: Do you believe in luck? I don’t know

38: What’s the weather like right now? rainy

39: What time is it? 9:54 pm

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? no licence

41: What was the last book you read? a fanfic on Wattpad fight or flight by ffsumth

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline? yes 🙈

43: Do you have any nicknames? lu and lulu obviously, loesje , samantha, pinguïn, polar bear, you called me lulu bear hehe

44: What was the last film you saw? I don’t remember...

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? uhm ive broken a few things, my toes and my arm, but nothing really bad actually

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly? no, I don’t want to, I have seen some really close, they’re beautiful

47: Do you have any obsessions right now? again you haha, but like all the stuff I post on here are my obsessions

48: What’s your sexual orientation? I don’t know, I think straight, but I don’t know for sure

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you? yeah

50: Do you believe in magic? I’m not certain, maybe I do :) I do live by the saying ‘just because you haven’t seen it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist’

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? sadly yes, like I won’t be mean to you or anything, but I will never ever trust you again, if I’m hurt I’m hurt and sadly I haven’t found a way yet to leave it behind, so I’m feeling a lot of pain and I’m never gonna forget that pain, so yeah...

52: What is your astrological sign? capricorn

53: Do you save money or spend it? uhm both? depends on how I feel and what time of the year it is, I have the bad habit to save it for a few months and then spend a lot of it

54: What’s the last thing you purchased? a apple pen so I can start trying digital art

55: Love or lust? love

56: In a relationship? with you hehe

57: How many relationships have you had? none official relationships, I’m just not lovable okay leave me alone haha

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue? no oops

59: Where were you yesterday? home, school, therapy

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? a pillow

61: Are you wearing socks right now? no

62: What’s your favourite animal? polar bears

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? no idea haha, I don’t have one

64: Where is your best friend? at home, like 20min away

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr. this is hard so I’m just gonna name the first five that come in my head @nxsmss @rafej-cambanks @thegreatestofheck @chrlsgillespie @nedleed

66: What is your heritage? I don’t know 🤷‍♀️

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM? sleeping, I had to get up early today

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name? never thought about it

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off? no

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? Is it bad to say yes? I mean I hate myself but I do think I’m a good friend

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? save the dog obviously!!!!

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? I think I would tell people, I’m not sure, but like so have people got the time to say goodbye the way they want to, I would travel the world I think, do everything on my bucket list, maybe some illegal stuff 🙈 (where no one gets hurt tho obviously), I don’t think I would be afraid... I mean I’m suicidal, I’ve literally been connected to death my whole life, if you understand what I mean

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love. uhm trust I think? If I would have love but don’t have trust I wouldn’t really feel loved anyway, I do really want to experience how it feels like to be loved tho...

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? the first song that came to mind is love my life by Robbie Williams, I rarely listen to it, but the lyrics really gives a boost of happiness and confidence

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? 51 54

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? loyalty and trust, you don’t have to agree on everything or be interested in the same things, you do have to be there for each other

77: How can I win your heart? YOU ALREADY HAVE

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity? yes I think so

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? to get dogs

80: What size shoes do you wear? uhm 38 eu, 4,5 uk and 7 us

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone? a loving ... I hope to be a loving daughter, friend, wife and mother, someone who was always there for others

82: What is your favourite word? fuck haha, no idk but that is definitely a word I use a lot

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. pain....

84: What is a saying you say a lot? enjoy the little things

85: What’s the last song you listened to? ignorance by paramore

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours? uhm I do love black, I also like pastels and like a turquoise kind of colour

87: What is your current desktop picture? me and my friend

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? no one, there are a lot of people who did wrong, the need to be in jail, but I’m not saying someone deserves to die

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? what goes on in my head, how I’m feeling

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do? scream probably haha

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? teleportation, I would travel the world haha

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? when I was in Ireland by the cliffs of moher

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? uhm this is a hard one, maybe seeing my father almost dying? (he is okay btw, we were lucky), I’ve had nightmares and anxiety ever since

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? I find this so weird to say for some reason... if I have to give a name it would be harry styles I think, because damn look at that man, but I don’t know, I would rather be friends with him than sleep with him tbh, I know you can do both haha, but idk I’m not like yes I want to sleep with him haha, I think I’ve read too many fanfics about him that I would find it awkward

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? ice land or canada

96: Do you have any relatives in jail? don’t think so, not close ones anyway

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car? no, I got out in time haha

98: Ever been on a plane? yes, when I went on a trip to georgia in west asia

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? you’re all ignorant assholes haha, no idk what I would say, there are a lot of good people on this world I know, but man there is some fucked up shit, so maybe I would educate some people or it would have something to do with mental health, maybe about loving yourself or that it’s not a sign of weakness and that we should be treated as equals to physical pain, we should be taken seriously... I don’t really know, there are so many things haha

#asks #lara #games

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spiderrrling · 4 years

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Alright then, you asked for it. For the personal asks 4-73 😌

aight but you gotta read them all

4: What do you think about most?

sadly, school

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

fab texted me “you should never trust teenagers”

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

i sleep in a t-shirt and underwear

7: What’s your strangest talent?

my hyperflexible joints

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

girls are amazing, boys are amazing sometimes

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

no and i hope it will never happen

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

air drums is my preferred method of air instruments and just earlier today

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

needles, cant do them at all i will physically hurt you if you try

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

i mean i did a covid test does that count? i shoved a perler bead up my nose when i was 4

13: What’s your religion?

i am atheist

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

walking or maybe camping i love me a good camping trip

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behindddd i am very awkward in photos

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

at the moment, all time low

17: What was the last lie you told?

i told my mom i studied for this test that i havent studied for

18: Do you believe in karma?

fairly yeah

19: What does your URL mean?

this one is nothing special, just the spiderrrling

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

i actually dont know, ive been told im very emotionally strong due to what would probably be my greatest weakness, my chronic pain

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

idk if you could guess but its tom holland

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

no not really

23: How do you vent your anger?

i write or i text friends or i rant here on tumblrdotcom

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

books, i have a lot of books

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

depends on the person im talking with

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

yeah mostly

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

hospital beeping sounds, cant stand them. i love the sound of rain

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

i didnt quit gymnastics

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

i mean technically we are aliens, there is no way we are alone in the universe

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

my right, my wall

my left, nothing

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

smells like rain bc my window is open and it just rained

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

idk maybe a place in denmark?

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

never been to the us

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

alex garskath

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

36: Define Art.

art is anything if you ask me

37: Do you believe in luck?

sometimes

38: What’s the weather like right now?

it just rained but its gonna rain more

39: What time is it?

10.27 pm

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

no i dont drive

41: What was the last book you read?

i just finished volume 3 of heartstopper and currently reading northern lights

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

honestly yeah

43: Do you have any nicknames?

i do! for those who dont know im fox, ive gone by fox for many years and i respond to it like its my name

44: What was the last film you saw?

i rewatched howls moving caslte

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

my knee is really bad from gymnastics

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

yes!

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

yes multiple, UCLA gymnastics, generally gymnastics, plague doctors, books, percy jackson

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

i am a raging bisexal

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

id like to not get into this just bc it happened very recently

50: Do you believe in magic?

yeah

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

depends on what they did

52: What is your astrological sign?

i am a scorpio

53: Do you save money or spend it?

i save money but i also spend it

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

i bought 58 books on a discount book store

55: Love or lust?

love

56: In a relationship?

sadly i am very single

57: How many relationships have you had?

one

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

59: Where were you yesterday?

at school then at home studying

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

probably but my room is dark rn

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

not wearing socks rn but i only own black socks anyway

62: What’s your favourite animal?

foxes or penguins or polar bears, i like most animals to be honest

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

just be nice and be able to deal with my ranting

64: Where is your best friend?

way too far from me in norway

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

@uglypastels @hey-its-grey @wvllywest @hauntedtom @anxieteandbiscuits

66: What is your heritage?

norwegain/swedish

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

sleeping, i need my sleep

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

i think thats his first name

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

who hasnt

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

i mean i bake, cook and give great hugs

i have too much anxiety to be late

a. i tell those i care about

b. live my life to the fullest

c. i already have what? 4 chronic conditions?

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

trust is its own kind of love in my opinion

there u happy now z? now its your turn

#uglypastels #asks and answers

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curlytemple · 4 years

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niche interests list

okay sure yes this is fun! i havent posted a thing like this in such a long time. thank you new gal pal @scottspack for tagging me!

pigs????

alright first lets throw it back to preschool! my fav childhood toys were my baby doll (snookums) and a plush pig that my grandma got me that i just called ‘pig’ ...i watched the babe movies countless times, and piglet? that anxious little guy GETS ME bro. when my preschool did a nativity play and my class got to choose an animal to be in baby jesus’ manger, my mother recalls me saying that i would be a pig because jewish people (jesus christ) wouldnt eat me. she has no idea how or when i learned about kosher foods. ironically despite my namesake i was too afraid of the movie charlotte’s web to watch it more than once because the scary farmer tries to kill wilbur for being small and the pretty spider dies.

sugar creek gang

OKAY this is a book series from the 40s-70s about a group of christian little boys in indiana who went on adventures in the woods and helped people. my dad read a LOT of chapter books to me as bedtime stories when i was little (see also the mandie series, nancy drew and the hardy boys, little house on the prairie) but sugar creek gang is one that really hit. i read all 36 books with dad and at least once again on my own. there was a series of 4 or 5 movies in the early 2000s when i was the Perfect age to have a crush on most if not all of them. this might be too much detail but i have to tell you about these boys. we WILL not be revisiting the heavy religious themes.

the narrator is bill who is Good and Kind and wants to be a doctor when he grows up. his best friend is a chubby boy nicknamed poetry because he memorizes and quotes poems, he is the Detective of the group. BIG JIM is the leader of the group who is supposed to be like, 14, which was very cool and hot, to me. and yes there is a little jim, who is the baby of the group. then there is CIRCUS who is known for his climbing and acrobatics, and his FIVE SISTERS AND BEAUTIFUL SINGING VOICE. dreamboy. i’m almost done listing boys, i promise. a boy called dragonfly who is allergic to everything and hella superstitious. later in the series a new boy named tom moves to town and tom has an older brother bob who is NOT A CHRISTIAN (bully)

tangentially, the buttercream gang, a movie from 1992 that was almost definitely made by some christians who grew up reading the sugar creek gang series which i’m guessing on vibes alone. will spare you Good Boy details but scott is in love with his best friend pete who moves to chicago and falls in with a bad crowd and scott just refuses to stop LOVING HIM. very gay christian film in retrospect.

peter pan

so i know liking disney’s peter pan isnt niche, but it was the way i liked it. tinker bell stan from day one, i watched all of those disney fairies movies, even the ones that came out after i was definitely not intended audience. there was an online pixie hollow game where you could design your own fairies and play mini games where you gathered dew drops or something. had a HUGE CRUSH on jeremy sumpter in peter pan (2003) then i got really darkly obsessed with the idea of growing up when i was 12 or 13, and everything peter pan was deeply My Shit for my entire adolescence. i read the original book and every other twisted version of the story i could find and seriously freaked myself out about wasting my youth.

shug

you’ve probably heard of jenny han now, or at least the netflix adaptations for to all the boys i’ve loved before and the sequel ps i still love you (always and forever, lara jean, coming soon?) but before she wrote THOSE, she wrote my first ever Favorite Book, about annemarie “shug” wilcox, a girl in the summer before starting middle school. it is SO engraved on my heart i cannot explain. i felt so incredibly understood and cant even tell you how many times i read it. thinking about all of the ways it made me feel SEEN is actually making me very tender so i’m gonna go on.

the summer series

on the subject of jenny han, since she was now my Favorite author, when she came out with the summer i turned pretty in 2009, i was ALL IN. it’s not summer without you, and we’ll always have summer were published the next two years. a coming of age series about a girl isabel “belly” conklin who stays at her mother’s best friend's house at the beach in the summers. i really could talk about it forever yall. i actually dont know how to be succinct about it. i will try. her mom’s friend has TWO BOYS. one brother, jeremiah, is the golden boy and her best friend who is in love with her! the older one CONRAD is her childhood crush who's just sort of around while belly is firmly getting over her childish feelings and going out and experiencing teen beach life with jeremiah for the first time and figuring out who she is and wants to be! by the end of the summer he admits he feels differently about her (hence belly internalizing this as The Summer I Turned Pretty) and they get together. this is already too much so i will just say that the next two books deal with a PROFOUND LOSS and the selfishness of grief and the SELFLESSNESS OF CONRAD and i will absolutely lose my shit if netflix picks it up for a second jenny han series adaptation.

pappyland

this was a kids show in the 90′s that features a character named Pappy Drew-It, an artist dressed like a 49er who lives in a magic cabin in pappyland. there’s tons of characters and music and life lessons but the meat of every episode is a detailed drawing how-to (pappy is actually a cartoonist, michael cariglio) and i have a hard back cover sketch book from my grandpa that i FILLED with drawings that pappy and DOODLEBUG taught me to do. there is a running gag that pappy always breaks his crayons.

boy meets world

i KNOW this is beloved by many but i’m counting it because i’m simply too young to have such an obsession with it! the show ran from 1992-2000. i was born in 1996, but reruns on the disney channel and abc family cemented it as one of my favorite shows. cory and shawn, closer than brothers, shameless homoromantics, shawn is cory’s first wife!!!!! truly showed me what a best friend can and should be!!!!!! the great love of your life!!!!! TOPANGA, the og weird feminist girl who said stop shaving your legs and start speaking your mind, ladies! the characters are so richly developed that they are real people to my heart. YES every character on this show is in their late 30s-early 40s and YES i feel like we grew up together. in season one they’re in the 6th grade and we follow them all the way to COLLEGE. countless poignant life lessons, often literally dictated by the wise and hilarious MR. FEENY, cory’s next door neighbor and somehow one of his teachers for YEARS. my love was only solidified by the 2014 girl meets world reboot, centered on cory and topanga’s daughter and her best friend. (which was literally cancelled because disney didn’t want to transition from a kids show to a teen show, something essential to the original. also because that teen show would have had CANON LESBIANS. extremely shameful move in 2017!) boy meets world lives rent free in my heart and i will never evict it!!!!!!!

i consulted my mother when i got stumped for more and she reminded me that i had obsessions with the impressionist art period and babies and ANYTHING fairies or pixies, and i was way too young when my love of the canadian teen after school special degrassi began. she also said bob ross, which i was hesitant to include because he’s been super ~trendy in recent years, but to be fair (To Be Faaairrr) she’s right! i don’t think people really watched the joy of painting as much as i have throughout my life. best sick day show of all time.

lastly i could honestly list anna herself as a niche interest, my mom actually metioned that ive always hyperfixated on my girl friends (gay) but i’ll just note that YES friday night lights, YES barry lyga novels. love to share so many things with you, niche or not, they’re niche in Our Mind.

#with the baby obsession came an obsession with adoption #my aunt and uncle adopted and when i learned that there were ORPHANS whew #i was in preschool judging people for getting pregnant when there were SO many babies without mommies #she had a good point!#also does being a niall girl in 2012 count

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junmyeoneyesmile · 4 years

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you can’t stop the flood pt 2

summary:

en·e·my

/ˈenəmē/

noun

a person who is actively opposed or hostile to someone or something.

irene never thought one day she would live in the enemy’s side. but when a mission goes wrong and everything turns upside down, she wonders for what she was really fighting for.

(or, the one in which x-exo’s scientist irene falls in love with exo’s leader, junmyeon.)

part 1 / part 2 / part 3

genre: obsession AU, EXO vs X-EXO, romance, slow burn, angst (with a happy ending?), fluff (maybe if you squint), smut (be patient, tho)

relationships: irene/junmyeon, past irene/sehůn, implied chanyeøl/wendy, side baekhyun/chanyeol, one sided taeyeon/baekhyun.

length: three shot

chapter word count: 9.583

author’s notes: quick note for this chapter, something I would like to explain. you’ll notice that exo members (and people at the elyxion) uses honorifics when talking – that’s because they’re always acting with their hearts, and well, they consider everyone as family. people at the exo’rdium and x-exo don’t feel the need to that, because everything is very logical and done with only work in their minds, so.

also, I used two poems in this part and I wanted to give the credit because they’re not mine. the “lavender poem” is by emery allen, and “always” is by lang leav.

that’s it for now, enjoy!

It was hard for her, to get used to the bright fluorescent lights, the white walls and the clean smell that all the rooms had. She was used to dark places and old stuff.

“Why do you think they called all of us here?” Seungwan asked, sitting next to her.

Joohyun was also not used to the talkative girl who had arrived the same day as her. Even though Joohyun remained isolated, making the other girls not want to get close, Seungwan insisted on being next to her.

Joohyun didn’t answer, and an older woman entered the room. She was one of the doctors, Joohyun remembered. A red hat hid her eyes.

“You were gathered here because you all passed our initial exams. Now, you’ll be able to start your training to be a future help for the Exo’rdium.” the woman said, looking at a sheet of paper. “All of you will undergo tests that will determine your area of aptitude. Now, you’re part of the Exo’rdium and will start over with new identities.”

Future help.

Start over.

Joohyun didn’t think or care much about the future. She didn’t have anyone or anything. But those people were saying she could start over. That she had a future.

The woman got close to her.

“Bae Joohyun?” she asked, and when Joohyun looked at her, she gave her an identity. “Here. Your tests will be performed in room 3 of sector B. Welcome to Exo’rdium.”

Joohyun took the identity, staring at it.

“Hey, what’s yours?” she heard Seungwan ask. “Mine’s Wendy. Kind of cool, right?”

Joohyun put her card on top of the table, and looked at the girl next to her.

“I’m Irene.”

And after that, she never looked back again.

----------------------

“…ever should’ve brought her here.”

“Don’t be like this, Channie. Junmyeon hyung said she was going to die if he left her there.”

For a second, Irene thought she was still dreaming. But the voices were too clear, and her body was starting to realize that her consciousness was coming back.

“Still. This can be a trap to us, Baek. Don’t you think it’s weird?”

Irene opened her eyes, even though it was hard. Her lids were heavy, begging her to just close her eyes again and go back to sleep, but Irene fought the feeling, blinking a few times.

“Hey, she’s waking up.”

The lights in the room weren’t bright, which made it easier for her to adjust. From there, things gradually came into focus.

There was an IV in her arm and her right leg was immobilized with a splint. Her dirty clothes were gone, changed into some clean, fresh ones, and she was in a room with old walls – with two men looking at her from a distance.

Irene tried to move, sit on the bed.

“Oh, don’t mind us.” the silver haired one said, and she stopped. “I’m Baekhyun. But you probably know this already.”

It was weird, seeing the original Baekhyun this close. Irene never thought she would’ve had the opportunity.

They were exactly the same, but the feeling this one passed was different – a lot more soft, kind. Baëkhyun could pretend he was soft, but there was always a wicked feeling behind him.

By Baekhyun’s side, the original Chanyeol was serious. His pink hair was hidden under his beret, and it looked like he was ready to attack her if Irene made the wrong move. She could’ve easily mistaken him for Chanyeøl, if it wasn’t for the dark eyes.

“Where am I?” she asked, her voice hoarse.

Baekhyun tilted his head.

“In the Elyxion, of course.”

The Elyxion.

Irene blinked, not really believing what she had heard.

She was in enemy territory.

“I finally found you two.” a different voice came from the door. “What are you guys doing here…”

The red haired man walked into the room, noticing Irene.

“She woke up, hyung.”

They continued to stare at each other. Irene's mind was still a mess, and she didn't remember much of what had happened while she was in pain, but she did remember him.

“Because I can’t leave someone to die like this.”

“Hyung, shouldn’t we take her to the investigation room?” Chanyeol asked. “She has to answer some questions…”

“It’s ok, Chanyeol.” Junmyeon interrupted. “I’ll talk to her.”

“But hyung…”

“Jongdae is looking for you two. Go there and talk to him.”

Chanyeol looked like he was ready to protest, but Baekhyun held his arm, and the two left the room. Junmyeon watched them leave, before turning to Irene again.

She sat on the bed with some difficulty.

“Are you ok?” he asked.

Irene ignored the question.

“You brought me to the Elyxion?”

Junmyeon didn’t answer immediately.

“There was no other place for me to take you.”

“Yes, there was! You could’ve left me at the border!”

“The situation is unstable for both sides. Jongdae’s clone has drones all over the perimeter, and I was alone. Do you think they would have responded well to this scene?”

Irene didn’t answer. Of course not, if Chën saw him alone with her, they would’ve been there in a matter of seconds.

Even though, it still didn’t make sense that this man had taken an enemy to their base. Wasn’t he their leader, too? It was most likely they wanted to keep her there to some kind of purpose. Maybe they knew she was a scientist at the Exo’rdium.

“When are you going to interrogate me?” she asked, feeling like she could get this over with quickly.

Junmyeon frowned lightly.

“I don’t think you fell under a wall on purpose.”

What was that supposed to mean?

“You can't be sure of that.” She said, trying to intimidate him. But it was obvious she was acting up too much.

“Get some rest. You clearly need it.”

Irene was taken aback by that, and he didn't wait for her to answer, leaving the room. Shocked, she continued to look at the door for a long time after he left.

----------------------

It was unnerving to stay in that room with no idea what was going to happen, but in the end, Irene was used to waiting. She was a patient person.

In the middle of the day, a teenage girl came into the room, bringing her a tray of food. Irene wasn't sure if she should trust the food in this place, but she was hungry, and really, she had no other option. Unlike the food at the Exo’rdium - which was always well thought out about all nutrients and functionality - here, it seemed so much simpler: rice, soup and meat.

The taste of homemade food started to bring some past memories to her, and Irene didn’t eat everything.

Late in the afternoon, a doctor came to see her. She was blonde, wore round glasses and looked young, probably just a year older than Irene. The badge on her lab coat read “Kim Taeyeon”.

“Hello,” she said, looking at the clipboard she held. “How are you feeling?”

There were various answers to that question.

“Fine.” Irene said, in the end.

“Does your leg hurt?”

She shook her head.

“Alright. Then I’m going to take out this IV for now, it had some painkillers. If the pain comes back, you can tell me and I’ll bring you something.”

The blonde got closer, and Irene held out her arm so she could remove the IV.

“How long will I have to stay with this splint?” she asked, already thinking it to be uncomfortable.

“The situation was quite serious when Junmyeon brought you here.” explained Taeyeon. “I did my best, but... Well, our technology is not as advanced as yours.”

Yours.

Of course. They thought of her as a member of the X-EXO team, too.

“I believe you’ll need to be with it for at least a few days.” Taeyeon continued.

Irene sighed, knowing she would say that.

“I can’t be here…” she said, mostly to herself.

If Taeyeon heard that, she chose not to comment on it.

“There are some crutches here, in case you want to walk.” she told Irene. “But it’s better if you don’t force this leg, or it could get worse.”

Irene nodded, watching the doctor leave the room - and not really understanding how all of this could be happening to her.

----------------------

The next day, nothing different happened.

Irene stayed on the bed, mostly because she couldn’t do anything besides sleeping and thinking about the situation she was.

Nobody went to the room, except for the girls that brought her meals and Taeyeon, that came to see how she was. Irene asked herself what they wanted, taking care of her like this.

Was she a hostage? She wondered what they would do if she left the room. The door wasn’t locked, and apparently no one was keeping watch. That thought remained in her mind, but Irene quickly pushed it away. She couldn't go very far in that state, and adding to that, she knew that the less she forced her leg, the faster she could recover.

So, she tried to bear with the boredom of those hours.

At some point in the night, after she had eaten dinner, it started to rain. Irene listened to the sound of raindrops on the window for a while, until she decided to get up to look.

She’d already gotten used to the crutches, having used them to go to the bathroom a few times, so it wasn't difficult to walk to the window. The view didn't say much about where she was - just the deserted landscape that was common in the city. She leaned against the wall, watching as the rain increased.

There was a knock on the door, and Irene turned to look.

Junmyeon was standing at the entrance, holding something.

“It gets pretty cold when it rains at night,” he started to explain. “so I brought this blanket.”

Irene said nothing, and he entered the room, leaving the blanket on the bed. He looked at her, and seemed almost hesitant - which was extremely unusual for her, who was used to Suhø’s confident posture.

“How are you?” he finally asked.

She still didn’t understand why he cared about that.

“I’m fine.” she paused, and looked at the bed. In truth, it had started to get cold. “Thank you for the blanket.”

Junmyeon nodded, and then came over so he could look out the window too - but he kept his distance from her.

“I heard you don’t eat all your meals.” he commented. “Don’t you like the food? We’re not putting anything inside it.”

Irene glanced at him.

“That’s not it.”

Junmyeon didn't press her, and once again, Irene wondered why he was acting like this.

“You can walk around if you want. You’re not a prisoner.”

Irene frowned.

“Are you sure of that?”

“You didn’t invade or territory. You were left to die-“

“I wasn’t left to die.”

They stared at each other for a few moments, until Irene looked away.

“Baëkhyun knew I was there. I just… I just don’t know what happened.”

“Well.” Junmyeon shrugged. “If that’s what you say.”

“Will you let me go?”

Junmyeon looked at her.

“I can’t do that. It’s beyond my hands right now.”

Irene shook her head.

“I don’t understand this.” she looked at him. “You won’t let me go, but at the same time says you’ll not interrogate me.”

He watched her with interest.

“You seem quite eager to be interrogated. Chanyeol would really like that.”

Irene frowned.

“I’m responsible for you.” Junmyeon continued. “I’m the one that has to gather information, but I was going to wait for you to recover a bit more before that.”

“Will you force me, if I don’t tell you anything?”

He shook his head.

“No.”

Irene looked at him, incredulous.

“Do you call this an interrogation?”

Junmyeon lifted the corner of his lips, and she was taken aback by the act.

“I'm not interrogating you right now.” he said. “We're just talking.”

That conversation was extremely disturbing to her.

“Can I ask you something?” Junmyeon kept looking at her, and Irene had to force herself not to look away. She didn’t answer, and he probably took that as an incentive to keep going. “Can I know your name?”

She blinked. Her name? It hadn't happened to her until now that he didn't know that.

She thought about lying. Scientists hardly ever left the Exo'rdium, and it was unlikely that they would fall into the hands of EXO - so there was no protocol for that situation.

But Junmyeon was looking at her, waiting for an answer, and Irene felt like she didn't want to lie about it.

“Irene. My name’s Irene.”

Junmyeon nodded.

“Irene.” he repeated. “It’s nice meeting you.”

And in that moment, she knew that yes, those days would be weirder than she imagined.

--------------------------

“Do you know physical therapy exercises?”

Irene looked at Taeyeon, who was at her side watching what she was doing. The doctor came to visit her earlier that day, and found her doing some leg exercises.

“Yes. It's the basics in one of our classes.”

Taeyeon adjusted her glasses.

“I'm sorry for asking you that, but I've been noticing in some of our conversations that you know a lot about medicine.” She hesitated, before continuing. “Were you a doctor there?”

Irene should’ve been alarmed by the question, but in reality she thought it was about time that someone cared about what she did in the enemy territory. Besides, there was no point in hiding it.

“Yes,” she said. “but in our case, we’re called scientists.”

“Because you take care of… The experiments.”

From the way she spoke, it was obvious she was curious about X-EXO.

“We’re responsible for their health. But I wasn’t there when the cloning process took place.” She made it clear. “So I don't know how the procedures happened, if that's what you want to know.”

Taeyeon shook her head.

“We’re not interested in making clones. Actually, this is the last thing we want to know.”

Irene sat on the bed, tired. She was trying to take a few steps without the crutches, but it was still difficult.

“Don't force yourself. It’s good to take a few steps during the day to train resistance, but too many can make the situation worse.”

Irene nodded, but the topic of the conversation they were having remained in her mind.

“Wouldn't it be a smart move to find out how your enemies were made, so you can fight them?” she asked.

Taeyeon looked at her.

“Is that what you do?”

“We don't need to do this anymore. They’ve been cloned, we have real copies to study.”

The doctor closed her lips in a thin line.

“They’re not the same, I'm sure you noticed this from the little time you spent with them.” She frowned. “These boys have suffered a lot being experimented on.”

To that, Irene couldn’t say anything. She remembered when she had arrived at the Exo'rdium, and no one was allowed to enter the building where the subjects were. But sometimes, when they had classes outside, she saw the flash of some young boys in the building next to hers.

It wasn't until Irene was in her late teens that students were allowed to live in the same space as the boys. They were training to be scientists, so they had to be in contact with the subjects.

Sometimes she forgot how they were made – and how other people were involved to make this happen.

-------------------------

It was raining again. It did nothing but rain on those days, and they were running out of buckets to put under the leaks in the ceiling.

“Mom, I want to go somewhere else!” Joohyun whined. “Why do we have to stay here?”

The woman looked at her, stroking her hair.

“Because here is our home, my darling.”

“I hate this house! Everything is wet, and I can’t sleep on my bed!”

The woman sat next to her, and smiled. Joohyun couldn’t understand that. She was upset, she wanted to leave. Why did they have to live like this?

“Joohyun, we’re very lucky to have a home. Some people in the city have nowhere to stay in this rain, and they suffer from the cold. Here, we’re safe.”

The little girl wiped her tears.

“But mom, everything will be wet here too.”

The woman shook her head.

“There’s always a place here where we can be protected.” she pulled Joohyun closer, hugging her. “If we stay close like this, we won't get wet, huh?”

Joohyun sniffed, snuggling into the embrace, nodding.

“All that matters is that we’re together, do you understand? Together.”

“We love you, my darling. Now go. Go, Joohyun.”

Go.

She ran.

Her legs ached, her lungs were burning.

Everything was dark. When she opened her mouth, there was no air.

She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t see, she couldn’t-

Irene opened her eyes at once, breathless.

She sat on the bed, feeling dizzy.

She was used to the dreams, but they’d never been so real. She was shaking.

The room was dark, except for a faint light coming from the hall. It was probably still late at night.

Irene looked at the nightstand, seeing the empty water jar they had left to her earlier. Her mouth was dry, and she needed to drink something.

Getting up slowly, she took the crutches to walk. It was the first time Irene would leave that room - which made her a little nervous - but she had no other choice. Besides, Junmyeon said she could walk around, didn’t he?

The hall was long, but everything around it made it feel like a home, different from what looked like hospital halls in the Exo’rdium. Irene wandered, not really knowing where to go. If she saw someone there, she could’ve asked for information, but no one seemed to be awake at that hour.

It was obvious that she was on the ground floor of that building, and Irene wondered if the kitchen was on another floor. There were some stairs in sight, but it would be impossible for her to climb all of them in her condition.

Irene turned another hall, and then heard a sound. A large open door gave way to an outdoor space, and she approached it. Maybe whoever was there could help her...

She went outside, but then stopped.

A dark-haired man was practicing archery, shooting at a target, seeming focused. She would’ve interrupted him, if she didn’t know who he was.

Irene almost thought Sehůn really was there. Even his posture was the same, and she just couldn't move away.

The man made no mistake, all the arrows hitting bullseye. He seemed so concentrated, that Irene thought no distraction would make him go wrong. All his attention was on the target.

People at the Exo'rdium always tried to get Sehůn to use the bow prototype they had developed, but he always denied it. He insisted on saying that he would beat his original without the need of accessories.

But it was obvious how good Sehun was with it. He was so focused - which was probably why Irene didn't expect when he suddenly turned towards her, shooting an arrow.

It was so fast, Irene didn't even have time to scream. She sensed the arrow passing inches from her face, hitting the door beside her.

“Just because I’m not looking at you doesn’t mean I’m not seeing you.” Sehun said.

Irene couldn't move, her heart beating too fast. She only realized how much she was shaking when she was no longer able to hold her crutches, staggering to the side. She leaned against the wall to keep from falling.

“Were you spying on me?” Sehun asked, but the tone was obviously accusatory.

Irene shook her head fast.

“No. I was… I was trying to find the kitchen. I don’t know...”

Sehun moved, and she stopped. He got closer to her, and from that distance, Irene could see his face better.

Dark hair, dark eyes, face without a scar. It triggered a memory on her mind, from a time when Sehůn’s face was like that, too.

His expression was serious, and Irene thought about something people at the Exo’rdium used to say, about how they found Sehůn one of the most intimidating subjects, with that scar on his face. Irene never thought that, and now looking at the boy in front of her, she also couldn't find him intimidating. He just looked young and angry.

“What do you intend being here?” he asked her.

“Nothing.” Irene replied, because it was true.

Sehun frowned.

“Junmyeon hyung seems to think you have no bad intentions, but I still can't trust you.”

She couldn’t blame him.

“I wouldn’t do anything. I can’t do anything.” she paused. “You’re all taking care of me now. I really wasn’t spying on you, I just wanted to get some water. I… Junmyeon told me I could take a walk, if I wanted to.”

Sehun watched her, and he still looked suspicious, but he flexed the arm with the bow on his back.

“The cafeteria is at the end of the hall on the right.”

He then left, and Irene kept standing where she was for a long time, trying to calm her heart, which was still racing.

When she turned to leave, she realized the arrow was stuck right in the middle of the door.

-------------------------------

Obviously, Irene couldn’t sleep when she went back to the room.

The adrenaline was still strong in her body, and she kept repeating the scene in her mind. If Sehun wanted, he could’ve killed her right there, without hesitation. She didn't think he would do that, though, but the thought was thrilling.

After much tossing and turning in bed, Irene managed to fall asleep when the first rays of sunlight were already coming through the window. She had no dreams, but when she woke up it seemed like she hadn't slept at all.

Irene blinked a few times before opening her eyes, and saw someone standing next to the bedside table. Junmyeon seemed startled when he saw her looking at him.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did I wake you up?”

Irene frowned, sitting on the bed slowly. She still felt tired.

“No…” she said, and then paused. “What are you doing here?”

Junmyeon scratched the back of his head with his free hand - in the other, he was holding a book.

“I came here to give you this.”

He held out the book, and she took it. It was old, the pages were turning yellow. There were flowers on the cover, and the title was peeling off.

“I didn't know what you liked, so... Well, it's a poetry book.” Irene looked at him. “You must be bored spending your days here with nothing to do, so I figured it would be nice to have something to spend time with.”

There he was again, being considerate. Irene didn’t know how to react, because really, that wasn’t a normal situation. That man had every reason to be indifferent to her, but against all odds, he came up to her room and brought her a book.

“Thank you.” she said, meaning it. “I… I’ll read it.”

Junmyeon nodded, but remained standing where he was. It seemed like he wanted to say something else, and Irene thought that maybe the book was an excuse for that.

“Hm, Sehun told me you spoke with him last night.”

Of course.

Irene turned on the defensive mode.

“I wasn’t spying on him…”

“I know.” He told her. “I know. Actually, I wanted to apologize for his behavior. But I think you understand.”

Irene left the book on the nightstand.

“Of course I do. I’m the enemy, am I not?”

Junmyeon seemed a little bothered by that question.

“You must’ve been startled because of him.”

She remembered the scene again, and almost flinched.

“Well, I wasn't expecting that. It's not like I'm used to being shot with an arrow in the middle of the night.”

“Sehunie has very good reflexes. He would’ve never hurt you, unless he wanted to.”

Irene raised a brow.

“Isn’t that the point?”

Junmyeon gave a half smile.

“I guess it is.”

That made Irene even more confused. Was he really playing with the situation they were in? This man was messing with her mind.

A knock on the door stopped her from continuing that trail of thought.

“Excuse me.” the girl that used to bring her breakfast said, entering the room.

“Well, I’ll leave you to eat your breakfast in peace.” Junmyeon said. “Feel free to leave the book there if you don’t like it.”

“I don't think I have many entertainment options here.” She said, and stopped for a second. “I'll definitely read it, thank you.”

Junmyeon smiled lightly before leaving, and Irene kept telling herself that the warm feeling that remained with her during the morning was because of the soup.

---------------------------

Unlike the others, that day really seemed more productive for Irene - as far as it was possible, of course.

Taeyeon came to visit her, to check on her recovery and help with the exercises. Irene even walked a little in the hall, even though she had to lean against the wall a few times.

She also took a few naps during the day, to recover from that bad night's sleep - and incredibly, she was hungry enough to eat all her meals in full.

But the main point of that day was the book.

Irene liked to read, but most of the books she had in her room at the Exo’rdium were about science, medicine, and some on mathematics. She couldn't remember the last time she took a book and read it just for the pleasure of reading.

So, through that day, she read. Irene didn’t expect that she would like a poetry book so much, but found herself rereading a few pages several times, just because the poem was interesting. She didn't want to stop reading it, and at the same time, she didn't want it to end.

At night, after eating dinner and taking a shower, Irene picked up the book again, to finish her reading. She wondered if Junmyeon would bring her another one, when she finished this one. The thought, somehow, excited her.

It was well into the night when Irene heard the commotion.

People were talking loudly, there was a mix of voices - some that she recognized. Through the open door she saw people rushing by, and she frowned, finding it strange. She got up, going to the door.

Two girls were running holding clothes that looked stained with blood.

“Hey, hey!” Irene called, and the girls stopped. She recognized them, they were the ones that brought her meals during the day. “What happened? Why is everyone running?”

The girls looked at each other, probably not sure whether to say anything.

“It’s just that…” one of them started.

“Don’t say anything to her!” the other interrupted.

“But I heard her talking with Taeyeon unnie! She’s a scientist!”

“Yes I am.” Irene interrupted. “What happened?”

The younger girl bit her bottom lip.

“There was another fight at the border. Junmyeon oppa...” she stopped, starting to cry, being comforted by the other girl.

“What?” Irene insisted

“He’s hurt.” the girl that wasn’t crying said. “They took him to the medical floor.”

An alarm went off in her mind, and Irene started to move before thinking about what she was doing.

She knew it was better not to get involved in this, that it was better to go back to her room and pretend she hadn't heard any of it. But Irene just couldn't do it. It was as if her body acted on his own.

Irene remembered that in a conversation with Taeyeon, the doctor told her the medical rooms were on the first floor. With the crutches, it was difficult to climb the stairs, but Irene didn't hesitate. She tried as hard as she could, and was sweating when she got to the floor.

There was a room at the beginning of the hall, and through the glass, Irene could see the EXO members inside, looking at a stretcher - where Junmyeon was lying, and Taeyeon was opening his vest.

She didn’t knock before coming in.

“What are you doing here?” Chanyeol asked, but Irene ignored him, trying to look at Junmyeon on the stretcher.

He was lying on his stomach, and when Taeyeon removed his vest, Irene saw that his back was completely burned. He groaned.

She tried to get closer, but Sehun stopped her.

“What are you doing?”

“Just let me...” she tried to move again, and this time Chanyeol pushed her away from the stretcher.

The move made her lose balance and the hold on the crutches, falling on the floor.

“Get out of here!” Screamed Chanyeol.

“I can help him!” Irene said, almost desperately.

“You’re kidding, right? Your X-EXO did this to him!”

“That’s exactly why I can help him!” She didn’t back down. “He was burned by Chanyeøl, wasn’t, he?” Some of the boys looked at each other, and Irene kept talking. “I developed a serum that helps the process of healing. I can help him!”

There was a moment of consideration between the boys.

“How can we know you’re not lying?” Jongdae asked.

“She is lying!” Chanyeol interrupted.

“I'm not lying! You must have seen Sehůn today, haven't you? Wasn’t he fine? It's because I applied the serum the day that you burned him!”

The room was silent.

“Hyung.” Jongin started. “He was fine. We all saw him… Maybe she can help.”

Chanyeol growled, moving away. No one else said anything, and Jongin came closer to Irene, helping her to her feet and handing her the crutches.

“Can you really help him?” he asked, and Irene nodded, getting closer to the bed.

Junmyeon's back was raw, probably worse than Sehůn’s that day. He seemed unconscious, but was a little agitated.

“They gave him one of the pills.” Taeyeon explained. “But I... I've never seen anything like this. Can you really...”

“Yes.” Irene answered. “Do you have a lab in here?”

Taeyeon nodded. The two didn’t wait and left the boys in the room, going to the lab.

Irene didn't have to make much effort, she knew the formula by heart. She had spent months working on it, and Chanyeøl had enough fun burning his colleagues in the tests. The formula had been done for a purpose - but Irene never imagined she would use it for the opposite reason.

Taeyeon helped in what she could, bringing everything Irene needed. There was only one ingredient that the two had to ask Jongin to get - which was fast enough - and in half an hour they were leaving the lab with the serum ready.

Chanyeol and Baekhyun had left the room when they returned. Sehun was on the side of the bed holding Junmyeon's hand, and Jongin and Jongdae were standing further apart, watching.

Irene went to the side of the bed, and Taeyeon kept her distance, trusting what she was going to do. She opened the bottle with the serum, and slowly poured it on the man's back.

Junmyeon screamed, fidgeting on the stretcher.

“What have you done to him?” Sehun asked, nervous

“Even if he's half asleep, it still hurts.” Irene said. “But it's normal. Tomorrow, he will be much better, and in two days there will be no scars on his back.”

“Should we cover the wounds?” Taeyeon asked

“Let the serum work for a few minutes, and then you can treat it like a normal burn.”

Taeyeon nodded and walked away to get what she needed. Jongin got close to the stretcher, looking with sad eyes at the unconscious man.

“Is he really going to be okay?”

Irene looked at him.

“Yes. I can assure you that.”

Jongin nodded, his expression full of concern.

Irene looked at Junmyeon, who had calmed down. She was always a logical person, she knew that the serum would work, there was no doubt.

But in that moment, that knowledge couldn’t stop the tightness in her heart.

--------------------------

The next three days seemed to drag on.

Even if Irene wanted to, she didn't go back to the medical floor. She knew that the boys would be there all the time, and the last thing they would want was to see her there. She respected that.

Taeyeon came to visit her normally, to see how her leg was doing, and told her about Junmyeon's recovery. He was getting better every day, and knowing that at that moment was enough for Irene.

Jongin also showed up, one afternoon. He talked to her for a while, told her how Junmyeon was doing.

“It's incredible, noona.” he said, referring to the effect of the serum. “The marks are almost gone. And I know it's not easy, because I still have some scars on my arms from when Chanyeøl burned me that day.”

Irene told him she could make a little more of the serum for him, and the boy smiled, excited. Jongin had started calling her “noona this, noona that” and she didn’t find it in her heart to stop him. Something about him being so young and innocent was growing on her.

He also said that she could go to the medical floor if she wanted to. Irene refused it, but thanked him for coming to see her.

In that way, she tried to deal with her days. Irene continued to think about the incident, and always wondered what would’ve happened to Junmyeon if she hadn't been there. It was clear that the Exo’rdium had more technology, but were the people in the Elyxion really that vulnerable? Why did they continue to fight, if there were so many risks?

She couldn’t understand that, just as she couldn’t understand several things in this place.

In the rest of her time, Irene continued to read the book. Even when she finished it, she kept rereading it. There was something about that book that left her in peace. Especially that one poem, which was stuck in her mind since she had read it.

Bring me warm rain

and lavender

and you

I want you most of all.

She kept staring at the page. Irene had never thought about that, of how the lavender flower was so small and discrete - but you only needed one to make the whole place smell like it.

That made her think of him.

There was a knock on the door, and Irene turned her head – just to see Junmyeon standing at the entrance of her room.

“Can I come in?”

She couldn’t find the voice to answer him. She wasn't supposed to be that surprised, but Irene really wasn't expecting him to show up there. Her heart was beating too fast.

Junmyeon didn’t wait for her to answer, entering the room. He wasn’t wearing the combat clothes he used to, but something similar to hers - sweatpants and a cotton shirt. His hair was damp, as if he just came out of the shower.

“You’re still reading this?” he asked, looking at the book on her lap. “I can’t tell if you liked it or are just reading it slowly because it’s so bad.”

Irene put herself together.

“What are you doing here?” she finally said. “You should be resting.”

Junmyeon looked at her.

“I think you know better than everybody that I’m fine.” she didn't answer that, and his expression softened. “Do you want to take a walk?”

She should’ve said no - she should’ve - but Irene couldn't find the words to deny it. Especially when he asked her that way. So she nodded, and got out of bed.

Irene imagined that the Elyxion compound was large, but she had no idea how much, until Junmyeon took her out of the room. Close to the training area she saw Sehun the other night, there was another common outdoor area, with a huge garden. There were several people around, walking, talking, playing. With each step she took, Irene was even more surprised.

“It’s nice, right?” he asked, noticing her expression.

“It’s beautiful.” she said, looking around. “How do you maintain it?” That was a very honest question. With the city destroyed by war, places like this were hard to find.

“There are some people responsible for looking after the garden specifically. Everybody likes this place, so we try our best.”

Irene nodded. They continued walking and looking around - Junmyeon slowing down to keep up with her pace with the crutches.

“Thank you.” he said, suddenly, and Irene looked at him. “Jongin told me what you did.”

She looked away, feeling a bit nervous.

“It’s ok.”

“No, it's not.” He touched her arm lightly, to make her stop. “It seems impossible that my back is almost completely healed after the state it was. I'm sure you saved my life.”

Irene shook her head.

“You did the same for me.”

They looked at each other.

Irene wasn't sure what was going on. She wasn't even sure if that was supposed to happen, whatever it was. But maybe she was thinking too much. He’d saved her, and she did the same.

Two children ran between them, and Junmyeon gave her a smile, scratching the back of his neck.

“Should we keep going?”

Irene nodded, a hint of a smile on her face.

As they continued to walk, she saw, not far from them, Baekhyun and Chanyeol sitting on a bench. The silver-haired boy was saying something and the other was laughing, almost falling off the bench.

“He's always overreacting.” Junmyeon commented, looking in the same direction as her.

“I never thought he was capable of laughing like this.”

Junmyeon smiled.

“Chanyeol isn’t a serious person in any way. He just gets pretty defensive when you’re around.”

Irene looked at Junmyeon.

“He can literally burn me to ashes.”

The red-haired man continued to look at his friends.

“Chanyeol suffered a lot, probably more than all of us. He hates anyone who is connected to the Red Force.”

Like Junmyeon, Irene looked at the scene. Baekhyun was smiling at Chanyeol, and he had a soft expression on his face, brushing the hair out of the other’s eyes. They were holding hands.

“Baekhyun’s a good relief for all of us, but he has always been Chanyeol's strength. They like each other very much.”

She could see that. It was obvious in the way they looked at each other. Irene never knew much about love, the feeling being foreign to her - but she was sure that was it.

“I've been thinking,” Junmyeon continued, and Irene looked at him. “maybe you could come and have your meals in the cafeteria.”

Irene blinked. That was random.

Going to the cafeteria? The thought was actually nice - getting out of the room, doing other things. But at the same time, that was part of their routine, and she wondered if it would look like an intrusion.

“I…” she hesitated. “I don’t know…”

“You’ll be welcome, don’t think otherwise.” Junmyeon assured her. “Everybody’s grateful for what you did. Chanyeol too, even though he would never say that.”

Irene had to laugh at that, and when she looked to the side, Junmyeon was already looking at her. She felt her cheeks heat up and looked away - the two of them continuing to walk.

-------------------------

Irene looked at herself in the bathroom mirror for the third time that morning.

That was ridiculous. Why was she so worried about going to the cafeteria? She would just eat and then leave, there was nothing more to it. It wasn’t like they would throw her away… Or would they?

Irene shook her head, pushing those thoughts away. The girl who usually brought her breakfast was late, and she wondered if Junmyeon had told her to be late, to give Irene a chance to go to the cafeteria.

“Don’t overthink it”.

She picked up her crutches, and before she could change her mind, Irene left the room.

People at the Elyxion seemed to be getting used to Irene's presence there, not caring too much when they saw her walking down the halls. She couldn't say she didn't like it - doing things without looking like she was being watched was nice.

Despite that, her going to the cafeteria wasn’t a common sight, and all eyes turned to her as soon as she walked in. In the middle of the room, the EXO members were sitting at a table, bodies turned in her direction. Junmyeon looked pleased, but she didn't wait to see what he was going to do, moving quickly to get a tray.

There was just one problem. She didn't think it would be so difficult to do that while she leaned on her crutches.

“Hey, noona.” Jongin appeared on her side, startling her. Did he teleport over there? “Can I help you with that?”

She didn't really say yes, but he was already picking up a tray for her. Irene blinked, a little taken aback as she answered him when he asked her what she wanted to eat.

When they were done, Jongin started to move to the EXO table, but Irene stopped him.

“I’ll sit over there.” she told him, pointing at an empty table a little far away.

It looked like he wanted to protest, but Jongin just nodded, carrying the tray to the table. When Irene sat down, she saw Junmyeon leaving his spot and approaching them.

“You came.”

It was just a fact, but his expression was so bright that she couldn't think for a second.

“Hm, yes. I don't think it’s going to hurt.”

Junmyeon sat in front of her.

“Of course it won’t. I said you would be welcome.”

Irene glanced at the EXO table, who didn't look so excited with her presence.

“Don’t mind them.” Jongin said. “They’re just jealous.”

Irene turned to him. “Jealous”?

Junmyeon cleared his throat, and the younger said nothing more.

“So,” Junmyeon changed the subject. “Taeyeon said she would examine you today to see if you can remove the splint.”

Irene sighed.

“Yes. I can't take any more walking with these crutches. I can't wait to get rid of them.”

“But are you sure you're okay? Don't you feel any pain?”

“Just a little. But I think it will be fine if I continue the exercises. Anyway, we will only know when we remove the splint and analyze the situation.”

Junmyeon nodded.

“Noona,” Jongin started. “if you’re ok, will you be able to make that serum for me?”

Irene smiled lightly.

“I’ll speak to Taeyeon about it.”

Junmyeon looked confused.

“What are you talking about?”

“Irene noona said she would make me some anti-burn serum, to get rid of the marks left on my arms.”

The red-haired man frowned.

“You shouldn't be bothering her.”

“Come on, hyung. Your back is completely healed.”

Junmyeon said nothing, and Irene looked at him. As a doctor, she would’ve liked to see the healing process, to see how he was doing - but in that situation, she couldn't just ask him to take off his shirt and show his back.

“It's all right.” She assured him. “It's not too difficult, I can do a little more.”

Junmyeon smiled slightly and Irene looked away, paying attention to her food.

------------------------

In the early afternoon, Irene went to Taeyeon's office. It was a little earlier than they had scheduled, but she was so eager to remove that splint that she couldn't wait in her room.

The office door was open, but when she got closer, Irene saw that someone was already inside. Baekhyun was sitting on a stretcher, and Taeyeon was taking care of what appeared to be a cut on his arm.

The boy kept talking nonstop, but even when she concentrated on what she was doing, Taeyeon paid attention to his every word. She smiled a few times, the smiles discreet, looking at his face when the boy wasn’t paying attention.

Maybe Irene was seeing too much of some things because her mind was so free these days – or maybe it could be because of that poetry book – but she was sure at that moment that Taeyeon liked Baekhyun.

Taeyeon finished what she was doing and Baekhyun moved his arm, flinching a little, probably because it hurt.

“Don’t move too much or you will open the stitches.”

“Alright, sorry.” Baekhyun touched his arm. “Thank you, noona. You saved me again.”

He smiled at her, and Taeyeon shook her head, looking down. Her cheeks were a soft pink, and she adjusted the glasses on her face.

“It’s alright.”

Someone passed Irene by the door, entering the room quickly - interrupting the scene. Chanyeol stopped beside the stretcher, looking at Baekhyun with concern.

“What happened, Baek? They told me you were here.”

“It’s nothing.” Baekhyun reassured him. “I was just training with Sehunie.”

“Did he hit you with an arrow on purpose?”

“Well...” Baekhyun bit his lower lip. “I did tease him that he wouldn't be able to hit me when I was running.”

Chanyeol sighed, shaking his head.

“But I’m fine now, Taeyeon noona took care of me.”

“Just make sure he doesn’t move his arm too much.” she told Chanyeol.

“I will definitely make sure of that.” Chanyeol said, and Baekhyun got off the stretcher.

“Thanks again, noona.” he said to Taeyeon, before following Chanyeol out of the room.

The two stopped when they saw Irene at the door, but Chanyeol just continued on his way without saying anything, while Baekhyun smiled and said a "hello" before leaving. Only then Taeyeon noticed she was there.

“Oh. Irene, I'm sorry to keep you waiting...” she said, and then hesitated. “Have you been here for a long time...?”

Irene thought about saying the truth, but that would mean she would’ve seen the previous scene, with Baekhyun - and she was sure Taeyeon wouldn't want to talk about it.

“No.” she shook her head. “I just got here.”

“Alright…” she paused. “So, let’s see if you can take off this splint?”

Irene nodded.

She had a feeling that her leg would no longer be swollen, and when Taeyeon removed the splint, they could see she was right. It was clear the Elyxion didn’t have as much technology as the Exo’rdium, but their techniques were also good. Irene could feel that her leg was much better.

They still did some tests, pressing her leg and walking, and although it still hurt a little, it was tolerable. Irene could walk normally, just limping a little, but without the help of crutches.

“You know you need to continue exercising daily to be completely well.” Taeyeon told her. “Also, I don't think you're going to do that, but don't push yourself too hard, and don't run around or anything.”

Irene nodded, not believing that running could really be an option now.

“I won’t. Thank you, Taeyeon.”

When she left the room, Irene felt the best she had ever been all those days.

Being restricted was terrible, and now walking through the halls was much easier and much more satisfying. Irene suddenly thought of Junmyeon - she wanted to tell him, show him. It was such a strong thought that she didn't stop herself from looking for him in the compound.

Unfortunately, he was nowhere in sight - and Irene didn't want to ask anyone, because she knew it would sound strange. In the end, she just walked through the garden, feeling the late afternoon chilly breeze, and thinking about the last time she walked there with Junmyeon.

She was so lost in thought that she almost didn’t see Jongdae, playing chess on a table not far from where she was. Irene stopped, the familiar scene startling her for a moment.

Of all the boys, she would say that Jongdae was the most different.

Where Chën had a perfect posture, with perfectly fitted clothes and slick styled hair, Jongdae just seemed more carefree - practical and simple, with curly hair covering his forehead in a messy way.

He suddenly looked to the side - at her - and Irene didn't know whether to stay there or leave.

“Do you want to play?” he asked, surprising her.

That scene, too, looked like a deja-vú. Despite that, she nodded.

She sat across from him, watching the boy put the pieces back together. Chën never did that, he liked that she played from where he left off.

“Do you know how to play?”

Irene nodded.

“Yes.”

“Then you can start.”

Irene wasn't sure why he wanted her company. It was clear that he was more open to her presence than Chanyeol or Sehun, but he never seemed to express that - until now.

She moved a piece.

Jongdae looked at the board for some time before moving one, too.

The two played a few rounds in silence, until he seemed surprised by a move Irene made.

“Nice play. I didn't think you guys would have time for trivial hobbies like this one.”

Irene watched him play.

“It's a logical game, it helps with mind control. We all had some lessons on that.”

Jongdae was silent for a moment.

“Does he play too?”

Irene didn't expect him to ask about Chën, but then, nothing was being predictable here.

“Yes.” she said. “It’s one of his favorite things to do.”

Jongdae raised the corner of his lips.

“Besides stalking people with his cameras?”

He had made a move that Irene wasn't sure how to overcome. She thought about it and moved a piece without answering the question.

“Why does he never show up in combat?” Jongdae asked, and Irene looked at him. He was frowning, and she knew that matter bothered him enough for him to ask her.

“Chën is very smart. He prefers to use his mind in strategy than his body in combat.”

Jongdae was still frowning.

“He doesn't use his thunder?”

“Yes, but only if he needs to. I believe that Chën wants to win with something that...” She paused “Well, that’s not someone else's.”

Jongdae seemed unbothered by that.

“Good time to have these principles.” he murmured, before moving a piece. “Check Mate.”

Irene looked at the board, seeing how fast he had changed the game - and wondered what would happen if him and Chën faced each other.

--------------------------

The night came, and Irene still hadn’t seen Junmyeon.

She hoped she would have met him in the cafeteria at dinner time, but he wasn’t there. EXO's table was also not full - only Baekhyun, Jongdae and Sehun were there. Irene sat down with Taeyeon and a few other people from the medical center, but wasn’t hungry to eat all of her dinner.

Later in her room, Irene thought about trying to sleep early, but she didn't feel tired at all, and decided to take a hot shower and try to relax. As she was leaving the bathroom, there was a knock on the door - and her heart skipped a beat.

Her whole body was telling her – was wishing – that it was going to be him, but Irene tried not to put her hopes up when she went to open the door – and saw Junmyeon standing there.

“Hi. I wasn’t sure if you would be sleeping... You weren’t, right?”

Irene shook her head. She didn't know why she was so pleased to see him there, and they continued to look at each other - but Junmyeon was awkward, holding a plate with what looked like cake in his hands.

“Do you want to come in?” she asked, and he nodded.

Junmyeon entered the room, Irene closing the door behind them, and it was the first time that the two were alone like this. The realization hit her, and there was a moment of tension in the room.

“This is a cake from the cafeteria.” He explained, breaking the silence. “It's my favorite, so I stole a piece, but... I don't know if you'd like...”

Irene watched him.

“I ate a lot at dinner, today.” she told him.

“Ah.” Junmyeon blinked. “Ah, it's okay. I just... Well...” He frowned, looking down, and seemed to notice her leg. “You removed the splint.”

Irene followed his gaze, moving her leg.

“Yes, this afternoon.”

“Are you okay? Doesn’t it hurt?” She shook her head “That's good.”

There was another moment of silence in the room, and Irene didn't really want to say that - but it seemed that she was unable to contain her curiosity those days, especially when it came to Junmyeon.

“I haven't seen you in the building all day.” She commented, without really asking.

“I had to attend some meetings today.” he told her “They went outside the compound, so... It was a little far away.”

Irene knew that the Red Force was the one who determined everything in the Exo'rdium and controlled X-EXO - but it was a mystery to everyone who was behind EXO. She felt like if she asked him, Junmyeon would tell her, but Irene was actually surprised to realize she didn't want to talk about it with him at that moment.

She walked around the room, past him to the nightstand, where the poetry book was.

“I think I should give this back to you.”

Junmyeon looked at the book, and shook his head.

“You can keep it. I have plenty of books in my room.”

Irene didn’t know why, but that didn’t sound strange.

“Do you really like poetry?”

Junmyeon gave her a half smile.

“It's kind of ironic in the times we live in, isn't it?”

She looked at him, feeling something deep about it.

“Not really.” she said, meaning it.

Junmyeon seemed taken aback by that, and the mood in the room changed.

“Can I ask you which one is your favorite, if you have one?”

Irene hesitated, but sat on the bed and opened the book, looking for the page. She noticed when Junmyeon sat next to her, leaving the plate with the cake on the nightstand.

She found the lavender poem, and showed it to him. Junmyeon looked at the page with a light smile, and Irene was unable to look away from him.

“I like this one a lot, too.”

“Do you have a favorite?”

Junmyeon eyed her, and started flipping through the book again until he stopped on a page. Irene saw the title, "Always".

“Do you mind if I read it out loud?” Junmyeon asked.

She shook her head.

“No.”

Junmyeon seemed to concentrate, and Irene watched every detail in his expression as he read.

“You were you, and I was I; we were two, before our time. I was yours before I knew, and you have always been mine too.”

It was such a small poem, a quick reading - but the depth it had, the depth she felt from Junmyeon was so intense, it was almost too much for Irene.

“That was my parent’s favorite.” Junmyeon said, before finally looking back at her.

Irene knew she should’ve moved, that she should’ve said something, but it was impossible. His voice still reverberated in her ears, and now that he was looking at her, everything around seemed out of focus.

She didn't notice her body leaning towards him - or maybe it was him who was approaching her? Irene didn't know. But they were close, and she could see every detail of his face.

Junmyeon had a small scar on his lower lip. It was so small that it couldn't be noticed unless you were close, like this. His eyes were almost hidden behind the red hair, and Irene’s fingers were itching to get it out of the way.

“Irene...”

Hearing the soft tone of his voice made her realize what was about to happen, all the warnings in her mind going off.

Were they about to kiss?

Irene moved away, getting up from the bed. Her mind was still fuzzy, but she had to get a grip of herself.

What was going on?

“Irene?”

She looked at Junmyeon. He looked confused, still sitting on the bed.

“I think I need to sleep.” She said, suddenly. “I... Thanks for the cake. But I'm tired, I... I need to sleep.”

Junmyeon kept quiet for a few moments, but then stood up, without pressuring her. He also knew what would have happened, so why wasn't he questioning her? This confused Irene even more.

“Alright.” He said, leaving the book on the bed. “You can send it back to the cafeteria if you don't want to.” He continued, referring to the cake.

And after looking at her one more time, Junmyeon left the room.

Irene sat on the bed again, feeling weak.

What was happening to her? She wasn’t like that.

Even when she was involved with Sehůn, Irene knew it wasn’t right. She knew that being with a subject wasn’t good for her job. But Junmyeon? That was even worse.

He was EXO.

He was the enemy. She used to do her best everyday to develop things that would help to destroy him.

And now, against all odds, she had almost kissed him.

And she wanted to.

That’s what scared her the most.

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heavensmortuary · 5 years

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A Tag Game!

Tagged by @thunderstruck-owl-gal !! Thanks so much!

1. Zodiac Sign? Leo I think! I dont know much about zodiac signs though

2. Height? Like 5'2-5'3. I'm smol

3. Put Your Playlist On Shuffle and List The First 4 Songs That Play

Death Of A Batchelor by Panic! At The Disco

Its Late by Queen

Dare by Gorillaz

The Ghosts of Beverly Drive by Death Cab For Cutie

Bonus bc I want everyone to hear it: creature by Half Alive

4. Grab The Nearest Book and Turn To Page 23. What Does Line 17 Say?

"Why did it die?" Claire asked. She found that she was whispering.

Morbid, I know. Its from one if my favorite books, Son by Lois Lowry and happened to be on the shelf next to me.

5. Ever Had A Song Or Poem Written About You?

Not specifically about me, but I'm named after a song! (I can't name it rn bc it has my actual name in it 😂)

6. When Is The Last Time You Played Air Guitar?

Real guitar? Today for a few minutes. Air guitar? I dont remember. But I did air piano today!

7. What Sound Do You Hate? You Love?

Fingernails clicking together *shudder* Sounds I love? Rushing water, bubbles popping, crickets, wind during storms.

8. Do You Believe In Ghosts?

On the fence. For now I believe that a lot of ghost happenings are actually demons. Ive had some scary experiences with the paranormal, so I won't deny they exist.

9. Do You Believe In Aliens?

Not sure! I do believe there is some sort of life forms outside earth though!

10. Do You Drive? If So Have You Ever Been In An Accident?

I can't drive yet, but I'll try to get my license this or next year. Never been in an accident though!

11. Do You Like The Smell of Gasoline?

Yes if its not strong, or else my nose burns

12. Last Movie You Watched?

I don't remember. I think it was Predator (1987). Its kind of a silly movie, but fun to watch I guess!

13. Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

Ooooohhohohoho this is a big one. I'm pretty much obsessed with everything right now. I can't stop thinking about writing a book, biology/zoology, Halloween costumes, podcasts, uranium glass, music, rural horror, and morse code. There's more. Trust me.

14. In A Relationship?

Never had one. I do have a crush right now tho so thats exciting!

Thanks for the tag! These are really fun. Tagging a few people, if y'all feel like it. Anyone can join in if they want!

@they-who-wander @manda-kat @orangehatposts @blueboxinthecosmere @delightfullypinkstrawberry @the-black-backed-gull @catchmeifyacam @once-a-queen-of-narnia @bunnycykes @galacticgelato @knife-dad @paula-of-christ @rithmeres @soundlessdragon @sfiddy @timelordoftherings

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scienceofdeducjohn · 5 years

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Tagged by @trans-aziraphale ty!! !!Rules: answer the questions, then add one of your own! Tag 5 people to do it too!

1. Who’s your idol(s)? Christian Borle because he is incredibly kind and calm and passionate and smart and i strive to be as inspiring and hard working and welcoming as he is

2. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go? hmmm Broadway to see some of my fave musicals!

3. What decorates the walls of your room? sooo many posters... mostly twenty one pilots and some other bands, but also a lot of old sherlock posters, a few star trek things, some pictures i printed out for the aesthetic, my pride flags, a painting my friend @feelingwonderfultoday made me ages ago....and more (don’t misunderstand, i have a Tiny Room)

4. Favorite color combination? pastel pink and pastel blue. or black and any other dark color

5. What’s on the top of your bucket list? transitioning hhhh

6. Height? 1m69

7. Favorite animal? horses

8. What’s the last song you listened to? some song by Cavetown...i’ve been obsessed lately

9. how many/what kind of pets do you have? 0 :’((

10. last movie you saw in theatres? pfff endgame i think

11. comfort food or favorite food? these but ive no idea what they’re called in english

12. why did the chicken cross the road? worms

13. do you wear socks in bed? not anymore

14. what’s your favorite piece of clothing you have? a pink polo i bought this year since it reminds me of whizzer and i just love it

15. what piece of media (book, movie, song, poem) do you wish you had written? a good and relatable ftm gay novel lmao

16. what movie could you watch over and over and never get tired of? the 2016 falsettos proshot

17. How would you describe your ideal aesthetic if you had no restrictions whatsoever? good question!! black coffee, alternative music, band merch, leather jackets, timberland boots, soft dark sweaters over pattern button downs, headphones, plaid trousers

Adding: What’s a song that always manages to make you cry/emotional?

Tagging: @feelingwonderfultoday @signofthebis @maikanna @trashcan-to-end-all-trashcans @natthemess

#wish i could tag more people sorry if i missed you oops #but only 5 i guess #anyway thanks for the tag!!#tag games

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deana-r · 5 years

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Ageless Artifacts

By deana.r

During the Second World War, the Germans had dropped bombs against Britain as an offensive, resulting in its strategic failure. The area affected by the blitz later on became a site where further historical examinations have been held. Among the debris, a vase had been found, containing several letters that have already been worn from ashes and its own aging nature. The contents of those letters however, shocked the modern world in such a cultural level, that it was eventually immortalized in museums, historical fiction, and other entertainment branches. In our modern day society, it received a higher regard than what it might have gotten during its own time.

Note: Some portions of the artifacts were smudged. The manner of addressing were also on a first name basis, hence the sender was unidentifiable, and the receiver vague.

1936

London, England

Dear Wilson,

I turned nine today! You're still two months older that I am, but at least we're both the same age old, even if it's just for now. How is it in Newbury? Even though I'm all the way here in London, I hope you'll come and visit again! I still have that magnifying glass that you gave me. My little sister loves to play with it. Sometimes, she even asks Emily to play with her when I'm busy with my studies. She came to visit me today, and we played while our parents chatted. Remember Emily? She came around the same time you did a few months ago. I've grown to quite like her. She's pretty and cute. She always loves to bring her dolls around, and she'd never put them down. We're boys, so we like to play with wooden airplanes! At least, that's what my father tells me. He bought me an English war plane as a birthday present. It looks just like the ones from the Great War, with its majestic blue, red and white. My uncle came around today and told his stories to Dianne and I. Apparently, he had fought as a soldier. He was very brave. I couldn't understand why the army had made him spend half of his career in a dress and high-heels. My father once told me that men like that were undeserving to be called that – "men". I wonder what it means to be a man. Do you know Wilson? It seems like I won't be seeing him in a while. I wonder where he's leaving to. I hope it won't be long. Wilson, today was the first time I saw him leave without my father bidding him a goodbye. Father never forgets to say goodbye. Now, he's just staring at him with a frown. I hope they're not fighting.

Sinserely, (sorry if it's incorrect. I'm still working on my spelling)

Dianne and I

II.

1940

London, England

Dear Wilson,

I'm still thinking about you every day. Dianne is looking forward to those strawberry tarts that you gave us during my thirteenth birthday. I remember my father had told me I'd finally become a man that day. Also, I've heard several stories about our childhood friend, Emily. It seems she's stopped her obsession with dolls and now moved on to fencing. Strange isn't it? A woman who fences. It's just as strange as a man who likes other men. At least, that's what my father tells me. Wilson, I still don't know what it takes to become a man. Do you need to be fearless and buff? Collect a hundred types of airplane models, and wish to serve the army? Because I don't. Yet, my father demands that I join the Royal Air Force by the time I turn fifteen. Wilson, I'm afraid that I won't be the man that my father wants me to be.

With much concern,

III.

1941

London, England

Dear Wilson, Today, my classmates called me a "Nancy Boy". I didn't know what it meant, but I figured it was because of the poems that one of the boys found in my notebook. Lately, I've been writing a lot of those. It seems to be the only way I could truly express my emotions, because it's as if no one wants to lend an ear considering that I'm a boy. But Wilson, I want to thank you for listening to me. Truly, you are my best friend. I feel quite troubled though. I sent letters to my uncle – to his prison. Do you think he received them? He hasn't replied for quite a while. I hope he isn't too lonely. I found the picture locket that he gave me a few years ago. There was a picture of himself and another man, and now I've many questions yet to be answered. Anyway, how is it in Newbury? I'm a tad worried for you, because my father told me as of late that it was only a matter of time until the Germans come again. Do you think we'll win the war? The clouds are darker than they usually are.

Sincerest wishes,

Your childhood friend

IV.

1942

Lincolnshire, England

Dear Wilson,

I lost the end of the bargain. I've become a soldier. I was finally able to ask my Uncle some questions, and he told me to hide. I didn't understand what he meant until my first few days. It's just as what my Uncle had told me before he went to prison. There were men cladded in women's clothing, serving as entertainment for the fighting men. It seemed as if that was all they were told to do, as if that was all they were meant to do for the war – get laughed at. I couldn't tolerate the sight. They were the men who wanted to fight, to win, to gain victory for Britain, and yet, the authorities wouldn't let them. So what if they were queer? Wilson, I didn't understand why I needed to hide, but now it seems clear. This is all a load of rubbish. A man from my flight had been made fun of by one of our soldiers, and now that he had been caught, he's bound to serve the army the way he never expected, nor wanted. Why must they assume that a man's sexuality determines their bravery on the battlefield? I know for a solid fact that I don't deserve to be treated this unfairly, to only be imprisoned right after like my uncle, who had risked his life in the first war along with all the other fighting men. The law is terrible.

Wilson, I've been a coward, but please abide by this request. Hide my letters in a place where no one would dare look – hide them somewhere safe. If anyone were to discover my writings, only God knows what they'll do to me next. I do not wish to stop writing to you, and I do miss you painfully, but this may be my last letter. There are still many things I have yet to say to you, but at a time in the skies, it's either fall of fly. If I live by the last dire moment, I promise I'll tell you the truth. If I don't, well, pray that I do. I can't say my final goodbye without seeing your face one last time.

With much hope,

my life.

Note: it was later on discovered that remnants of the letters have been found inside a burnt suitcase. The location was several miles west from the blitz, where a train had been bombed as well, resulting in the death of all passengers. Traces identified that the letters were connected with the ones prior, despite the Artifacts' critically damaged state.

1942

Lincolnshire, England

Dear Wilson,

I miss the old days when you, Emily and I would run through the willow swept bridges above the river – our reflections, we used to smile at. Dianne misses it too. I... miss you too. Wilson, I know this might sound like it came out of the blue, but is it true? I heard that you're getting engaged with Emily, and that the both of you shall be wed by the time you turn eighteen. Do you love her? Wilson, there's still some things that I am unsure of, but by the time I've fit the puzzles in my head, please don't slip away from me yet. How do I explain? I suppose, I've never really liked airplanes. I've only liked being with you, and if you liked airplanes, I wanted to also do the same. How do I explain this feeling? It's quite difficult to comprehend. Whatever it is, I'm sure my father won't tolerate it. He may even hate me for it. I hope you won't. Dare I say, I hope you feel otherwise, the way I so passionately feel for you. Forgive me Wilson, but I- (the following words were smudged).

Truthfully,

Your Best friend

VI.

1943

Lincolnshire, England

Wilson,

Please, please reply to me as soon as you can. I must know that you are safe. I hear Newbury had been bombed from the skies – the Germans really did come again. Please Wilson, if you had passed first before me, I'd never feel deserving to live. Please, Wilson. Please give me another chance to see you. Didn't I promise that I'd return? I can't be too late. Wilson, I wished I could have told you everything from the beginning. Although we've known each other since we were children, I can't bear the notion that this is it. I'm so sorry that I was too late.

VII.

1943

Lincolnshire, England

Dear Wilson,

I heard your family was able to escape. Once you've received this letter, maybe the rest might have been burnt to dust. Maybe that would have been for the best, but Wilson, always keep this secret close to your heart. My uncle... he had told me to hide who I am, because we are - (the following words were incoherent), but we're also very beautiful people, Wilson. I know this to be true because my Uncle has always been kind, but many people can't understand what's there, because they only judge from so far. Remember the magnifying glass that you gave me? I wished so badly that they'd have those for eyes. There was this soldier who called me a "fruitcake", but I know he didn't mean anything sweet. I've been used for a year, Wilson, and I'm very tired of it. I'm tired of being thought of as weak, and I'm tired of waiting for the war to end, knowing that our very own British soldiers were going to persecute us by that time comes. The next time you see me, I don't want to be sleeping behind cold metal bars. I want to be with you and Emily, someplace safe and happy. Will you promise me that you'll do just that? Will you promise me you'll live happily? It's just like the airplanes. I won't until you'll be.

Sincerely,

R. C.

VIII.

1945

Newport, England

Dear Wilson,

I'm spending my birthday alone, and it only reminds me of how much I miss you. I still hold my uncle's picture locket dearly, and although his stories depicted sorrows until his last breath, I truly believe that his ghost was delivered happily to heaven. Just like him Wilson, I long for the day we find that happiness. That's all I've ever wanted. As long as I am able to stay by you, Emily and Dianne, there isn't anything else that I could ever ask for. Dianne, my beloved sister... I miss her, Wilson. I really do. I wish I could be there for her in London, but I cannot return home. Ever since I ran away from the station in Lincolnshire, I promised myself that I wouldn't ever look back. The skies are clearing though. Maybe my mind will too. My father said I was an abomination, and that I should have sacrificed my life in the skies like a noble man, but I know for sure that God loves me, and that it wasn't his plan. Because now, I've found a reason why I continue to live. The war is going to end soon, and by that time comes, I would have already ended my own. Thank you for everything. You know Wilson, there are many things that I find beautiful in this world. The way the sun glistens through ash-stained clouds, the way grass shines silver linings after a storm has gone, or the way your laughter sends earthquakes in my heart — you might think I jest, but it is true. I don't know when, but I know we'll meet again. Take care on that train Wilson, and take care of the child in Emily's womb. I wish you the best of all God's blessings, and I constantly pray for your safe arrival.

Adieu Wilson.

Yours forever,

I love you

(P.S. I'm sorry I never told you)

Note: after the bombing of the train, further examination has shown that the burnt suitcase in which the last four letters were found in, contained a photograph placed in between the pages of the owner's notebook. The face was slightly blurry, but seemed to be faintly smiling. The background was faded, yet it gave a bright memoir. The young man in the photo looked like an apparition from a far distance, but he still looked vividly alive. It was assumed that the subject in the photo was the unknown sender, the one Wilson had treasured the most.

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