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cat3ch1sm · 8 months

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Spider gwen x reader hcs pls 👀💞

💚~ hi!! idk what it is about spider-Gwen these days but ive been thinking abt her nonstop. ion even like her that much since the last movie but she’s just been in my mind rent-free 😩

note: i’ll be uploading more often because ik ive been really flaky for a while now and i feel really bad :(( also idk why these got kinda angsty lmaoo

fem!leaning reader but no specific pronouns are mentioned

𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫-𝐆𝐰𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 <𝟑

- for these headcanons i’ll be using some letters from the sfw alphabet!

s- security: how protective r they, how would they protect you, how do they like to be protected?

i don’t think gwen would be with anyone who is really dependent, so most of the time she doesn’t feel the need to step up and “protect” you unless it has anything to do with spider business- in which case, then she’s all over it. after peter, gwen is adamant that you stay out of spider stuff, and she won’t even allow you to know that she is spider-woman. but if you somehow do find out, she’ll probably start being slightly more distant in order to keep you safe, fearing that her enemies will find out that you’re someone important to her and somehow harm you. she might wind up accidentally pushing you away for fear of getting you hurt.

as for how gwen wants to be protected- she really doesn’t want to need protection at all. she doesn’t like to be vulnerable or have anybody think that she is. especially as a hero, gwen mistakenly believes she’s always the one that has to come to your aid and only worry about you rather than have you worry about her (which you do anyway).

p- patience: how easily angered are they?

relationship wise, gwen tries to be as patient as possible with you. she’s already generally stressed out, so she does her best to avoid problems with your relationship, which usually goes well. however, the one thing that always gets her temper bad is when you start asking about spider stuff, worrying about her life as spider-woman (assuming she’s told you/ you found out), because the last time someone close to her got involved with her business as a spider, someone died, and she doesn’t want to acknowledge that possibility again. so whenever you pester gwen about spider business she kinda snaps at you and ends the conversation quickly.

i- i love you: how fast do they say the l word?

it takes a while for gwen to get to the point of saying that she loves you, even though she knows she does way before she says it. she doesn’t want to say it too soon and risk you not reciprocating, and saying that she loves you would be an admission of attachment, meaning that if gwen ever lost you it would hurt way worse. so yeah, she’s very hesitant to say it, but be assured that it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t feel that way for you.

d- domestic: do they want to settle down? how good are they at cooking or cleaning?

at the moment, gwen’s life is all over the place, so settling down really isn’t a thought in her head. she wants to eliminate all her enemies and achieve some sort of stability both in her personal and professional life before she considers really starting a life with you. as for cooking and cleaning- gwen can’t cook for absolutely fucking shit and yes i am saying this because she is white. cleaning? she doesn’t really do it often- she’s kind of a cluttered person- but she can manage. for some reason i imagine her being really good at sweeping. homegirl can definitely work a mop, too

e- ending: if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?

judging by her behavior towards miles in atsv when he found out the truth about his spider-man origins, i wanna say she’d be really shifty about it. you’d notice her becoming distant and dismissive, and when you ask her about it she’d sort of dance around it. gwen wants nothing less than to hurt you, which is why she takes so long to tell you straight out, but really it just winds up hurting more because of how much she kinda drags it out.

r- remember: what is their favorite moment in your relationship?

i think her favorite moment probably wouldn’t be from when you were officially dating, but maybe when you both were just realizing your feelings for each other- lots of awkward but sweet and silly moments where there’s just a lot of blushing and awkward laughter and absent touches like playing with hair or brushing hands while walking beside each other. it isn’t anything big, but it means a lot to gwen.

g- gentle: how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?

gwen behaves sort of like a tomboy, so i don’t exactly picture her as being the type that’s super soft and gentle with you. also she is spider-woman and beats up villains twice her size on a regular basis, so her whole personality just isn’t all that “gentle.” she probably gives you a lot of a shoulder bumps and punches and unnecessarily hard high fives when she’s happy or proud. but when you two are alone she’s softer. you’ll find gwen’s fingers absently tangled in your hair or she might lay her head on your shoulder every so often.

emotionally, Gwen is mostly pretty careful about your feelings. she knows that her work as spider-woman worries you sometimes, so she makes sure not to talk about it too much. she tries to express her more negative feelings to you more often than not so she doesn’t wind up taking it out on you later- which is a difficult step for her to take. but she can be slightly inconsiderate when she talks about her other friends who are spiders- gwen can sometimes talk about them a little too much and her escapades with them, making you feel left out- and sometimes the way she talks about Hobie or miles can irritate you a little.

w- whole: would they feel incomplete without you?

gwen has learned to put herself together alone after the shit she’s been through, so it would take you two going through a hell of a lot together for her to actually really feel like you’re a part of her. not to mention she does have an unconscious fear of attachment because of what happened to Peter, and the betrayal of her father at the beginning of atsv (which was resolved i know but like it still scared her). but yeah, if you two have been together for long enough and her feelings for you are more enduring, she would feel incomplete if you left- but likely not for too long.

e- ending: what would cause them to break up with you? (ik i already did this letter but i wanna spell her name okay)

i imagine gwen would break up with someone for several reasons, but i think one of the kickers would be if you became too clingy. again, the attachment thing. if she feels like you’re smothering her you will definitely scare her off. gwen is also very independent, and she needs more of that time by herself than most people. it’s what she’s used to. violating that boundary will get you dumped real quick.

n- night: how are nights spent with them?

nighttime is when gwen is most active as spider-woman because that’s when a lot of villains like to come out of the shadows- so you don’t really get to spend time with her after dark. but you do like to peer out the window sometimes to catch a glimpse of her, swinging through the streets under the moonlight. if she sees you, she’ll definitely send you a smile or a brief wave before beating the hell out of her opponent.

#into the spider verse #across the spiderverse #gwen stacy x reader #spider gwen x reader #atsv gwen #gwen atsv #gwen across the spiderverse #spider gwen headcanons #gwen stacy headcanons #spiderverse fanart #gwen spiderverse #spider gwen #atsv headcanons #atsv imagines #miles atsv #spider man atsv

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voidselfshipp · 1 year

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for the valentines day asks: adoration, bouquet, crush, confession, darling and date night w/ Lucifer (supernatural)? :3

adoration — how would your f/o speak about you to someone else?

He's never gonna shut up about me, he'd praise me and say all the things ive accomplished, all the stuff I do for him n all, hes so extra about it too! "And you know what else? They want to learn how to Cook! Arent they amazing? Oh and they look so pretty in everything they wear! They are so funny and cute!"

crush — when did your f/o realize their feelings for you? how did they deal with those feelings?

When Lucifer found out he had feelings for me he was confused and very angry with himself. He hates humanity and now hes head over heels for little ol me. He dealt with his feels to the best of his abilities, a lot of denial until he said "fuck it" and confessed.

bouquet — what’s their favourite flower and why?

Hydragena because it means "Gratitude for being understood,Frigidity and heartlessness"

Snapdragon because it means graciousness And deception.

confession — how’d the confession happen, and looking back on it, what are your (and f/o’s) thoughts abt how you both were back then?

I broke down crying because I was conflicted bcs hes lucifer n stuff, lucifer thinks he could have been nicer about courting me,and I think it was really unnecesary.

darling — what outfits would you both wear on a date? feel free to show pics!

He'd wear something classy, suit maybe? Or maybe a bad boy vibe w a leather jacket

I'd wear something like a croptop, jeans and boots, or if we are going out on a fancy date id wear a suit (or a dress if it was fancy enough)

date night — describe your ideal date with them! spare no expense, realism to the wind, what’s your dream outing?

Im not sure, if I had to choose, id like something fancy but calm, at a restaurant with fancy food n fancy clothes.

Or something at home with good food and good movies, cuddling up.

Thanks shallow!

#👑👿👼sympathy for the devil👼👿👑

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mlynar-nearl · 1 year

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this is very long i am apologies

yes !!! i read ur essay (?) on mlynars grief too and i just think that youve got it down super neat (ive probably repeated this too many times) so like good job !!!

ah indeed i was the anon who asked abt his kit last time too (saw the art of him too btw its very pretty, very nice ur friend did an amazing job!) so do you think hed have a talent like aosta's in that he does extra (maybe % or maybe fixed) dmg to unblocked? or hes got like a skill thats like fartooth (global only target blocked but in his case its global only target unblocked?) i think either ways adding a different debuff to all of his skills would be fun ! do you think hed be rng based cc (like aak?) or like its specifically one debuff to each skill, those kinda stuff? honestly er this is a lot of questions you can selectively answer but i just think hes probably a neat wraith killer lol no more annoying unblocked assholes running around ehe but also on a separate note, do you think he has any special interactions with other operators (excl the ones from laterano) ? his hobbies etc (just go wild man, tell me wtv even his preferred breakfast or whether he hates grass or smth) also yes ty for the advice abt mandragora !! i only figured it out like... once i accidentally made her drop blocks on herself and she died due to low hp and i was like wtf cos ??? free elimination ? and i learnt i was very wrong later on but pozy saved my ass aha so it all worked out anyways ! just training for when i actually bother clearing ch 9 ig oh and until u said it i didnt rly notice that sss like... hates all snipers. (ive tried using chalter it didnt go well... pozy as well) like all the late stage sss stages just completely dont let you use snipers for anything other than like buffs (unless youre rosa ig might have chance) shit i screwed up this is even longer than last time im so sorry if this is uncomfortable to read :sob: if this is too uh ew to converse with i can chacha slide into ur dms (but give me time i am... well theres a reason im anon) but yeah anyways have a nice day so sorry for this length and as always u can selectively answer or ignore lol ! hope ur well !

don't worry about the length, i love answering questions! I will try and get to everything. thank you for the compliments ab my post i try (oh my god do i try) :]

i think his talents would involve extra damage + prio unblocked enemies + his source of crowd control. his CC would be strictly bind, not RNG like aak, because his arts are specifically grappling hook/rope shit. i think i've been theoretically calling this talent and arts type "tethering." in lore he mainly uses it for traversal, but there's no reason it wouldn't work on people, too, so i think it fits best as a crowd control bind. one of his skills would then just do a "talent trigger increase" as part of their functionality meaning extra bind chance. of course, how useful he would actually be as a concept depends on the numbers, which is the part i'm bad at, but still, fun to think about :]

for other operators, he would definitely get on well enough with some of the cooks among the RI operators, for one. his favorite flavor of sweet thing is cinnamon, and cinnamon is easy to incorporate into things, and he's smart enough to be polite to the people feeding his interests. he would also, i think, have interesting but awkward interactions with the iberians, because while he is not himself iberian, he has traveled extensively there and shares memories of the profound silence/aftermath thereof with Andoain. ultimately, i think he's polite to most everyone he runs into if he were to go to RI, but he's already rather closed off as a person and you have to open him up with a crowbar, so i don't know if anyone could be considered a friend of his. i don't even think fiammetta is really a friend of his (he would call it that, but that's far from correct), more that they have similar enough feelings on a specific topic that leads them to cooperate. i think even increasing trust with him still leaves a lot under the surface.

other shealtiel facts...he prefers cats to dogs but understands the appeal of both, but his favorite animals are birds. being a sniper, he sees a lot of them, and spends a lot of time in places birds nest. i imagine lateran schools have a class on religion similar to catholic school (where i have unfortunately been), and that was his favorite subject because his mother was a canonist and spent most of her time analyzing the scriptures and teachings of lateran. he's surprisingly flexible because of this- he actually idealogically overlaps with andoain more than he'd like to admit, he just hates the man's methods. and life choices. when he's on the road he survives off of breakfast bars and terran poptarts. he prefers chilly weather to heat, but hates heavy snow. he has a halfway decent singing voice but never uses it outside of when he's free enough to attend a lateran service. his plan for immediately after achieving his goal (killing andoain with fia) is to take a vacation somewhere cold-but-not-too-cold and isolated and not answer his messages for six to seven months. he's still on the fence about where, though. he would do that right now if he didn't have duties to fulfill. his favorite mixed drink is a gingerbread gin and tonic (g&t + baking spice infused amaretto.) his favorite non-alcoholic drink is cranberry juice. he's become partial to a dying brand of iberian cookies because andoain likes them and he's started buying them up ahead of him out of a petty sort of spite.

SSS really does hate snipers which sucks b/c i do love me a sniperknights. chalter doesn't fall off quite as bad as some because she's useful for bosses but it's still Bad. i still bring snipers for the aspd buffs, but most of them just arent gonna hold up too much. sad :( gj with mandra! she's annoying but at least in her actual boss levels that aren't TFN you get the automatic pillar destroyers. good luck on chapter 9 when you get there :]

#ash answers #anonymous #shealtiel #LONG post #long post so sorry.

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coffeeastronaut · 1 year

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Do you have any OCs? feel free to talk about them if you do What was the first piece of media you engaged with on the internet? Are you still interested in it? What's something you made or did that you're proud of? What's something that made you smile this month?

i do! ive got my two girlies (and extended family) Isha and Andy, who do a lot of cooking and baking. they're my sillies :) I also have Wretch and Clump. Wretch is what it says on the tin. he's a dentist and he sucks sooo bad and everyone hates him. Clump is his dental assistant who's like if what rich people thought whent hey saw columbo was right. hes in love with wretch and also hates him. godbless.

The first piece of media i engaged with on the internet.. well i mean. like barbie.com and miniclip and shit obvi but im assuming this is abt like more fanbase-y stuff. in which case its doctor who and im STILL HERE BABYYYY < occasionally feels a little ill over having been into it for at least a decade. or rvb and unfortunetly im. still here. < also feels ill for being into it over a decade but for different reasons that are also the same.

i made a dope ass study of a richard ii stage pic the other day im proud of that :)

something that made me smile.. most recently it was seeing all the asks i lost in my askbox LOL

#just found a bunch of unread asks in here when i went to open the latest one. my bad!#mi

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borom1r · 2 years

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jshdnsns adz asks! I actually do have some this time!! do he and sen pick up certain hobbies that they specifically do together, maybe just to spend time together + something they both genuinely enjoy? and specifically adz-centric: I know you've discussed it a bit b4, but what are some coping mechanisms he picks up once he's able to sort of process his trauma and address it? maybe ones he learns from sen, maybe not - maybe even ones He teaches sen? I'm sorry if I asked these specific questions b4 but I am So curious!! (and maybe also some things he + sen do specifically to unwind!!)

aaa thanks dude!!! hmmm.. shared hobbies...

i don't think they have a lot that they specifically picked up together? but the biggest thing is that they make an effort to support each other in their hobbies. ik ive talked abt it before but Adz will spend time with Sen while he's working out— sometimes just hanging out, sometimes Being A Nuisance (like laying on Sen's back while he does pushups; it's always welcome), but Adz still shows an active interest. he'll ask why Sen does certain exercises and just in general is happy to listen to Sen talk abt smthn he's passionate about. and I bring this up again especially bc Sen just. doesn't have a lot of hobbies beyond uh. Something Very Important To Being A Soldier.

this is an idea i draw specifically frm my meta for Eric, since he n Strahm are my inspirations for Sen.. haha..... they both had core traits forcibly repressed by controlling forces ANYWAYZ Sen hadn't really had a reason to pursue any sort of individuality even after being freed from Primogenitor control, routine was comforting and he had no one in his life to give a shit about him or encourage him to really break out of the mold he'd been forced into. Adz is the first one who expresses any interest in what he's passionate about + though he's older n has been free for longer Sen is still struggling with the idea that he can like. Have interests that aren't inherently valuable to being a soldier

but yea they are just.. very conscious about expressing interest in each other? like i said w/ Adz wanting to learn about Sen's (admittedly limited, but growing!) passions— Sen genuinely loves to hear Adz explain the technical aspects of photography, and loves to watch him cook (he will occasionally help Adz cook but it's usually prep work, he doesn't Get the purpose of cooking food even if it tastes better sjkdfhjk). the one thing they really do Together (other than go for walks!) is read, once Adz opens up to Sen that he likes it. it's another thing Sen doesn't really get, but he's fallen asleep more than a few times while Adz lays on his chest n reads to him (telepathically, ofc)

+ ohhh Adz processing his trauma/coping mechanisms he's picked up

that’s a good one, most of what I’ve addressed is pretty early in the process; his need to rearrange things until they are as Safe as possible, his nerves whenever Sen gets hurt (and the system he and Sen developed to help). Adz is processing a Lot and he was always meant to at least appear empathetic, which he very much is, so it affects him a lot more outwardly than it does Sen (who is also affected more by different aspects, like the idea he is inherently worthless + expendable)

I’ve also touched on how tactile Adz is + I think that becomes a very big grounding tool for him. He’ll wrap up in a blanket from their bed (so it smells like both of them) and try to catalogue as many sensations as he can wherever he winds up settling. Sen will usually join him when he notices, bc he knows it helps Adz to have some company + to verbalize things to (asking for a list of everything Adz feels and Adz will run through them, and that’s usually enough to get him to relax n slump over against Sen, if not fully ground him. It takes more time if Adz is alone). Sen won’t ever admit it but there was one time Adz wound up in his lap and started sleepily listing off things he felt— hearing Adz’ perspective, even if he’s half asleep and still a little floaty, makes Sen 🥺 (he’s so used to being a Thing, disposable + without traits that he really doesn’t think of himself beyond basic parts. but Adz is laying there describing his fur, how warm he is, the cool metal of his thighs, how his claws feel brushing through Adz’ fur and it.. it gets to him)

ultimately tho sometimes he just. NEEDS to power off around someone he trusts. Protogen don’t need to sleep, but Adz was essentially built to perceive people Too Well, to assess injuries they may be hiding or may not even be aware of, and he can’t just shut it off. when it gets really bad, he’ll go into sleep mode for a while because sometimes it really is just too much to handle (especially after a bout of JRS). it helps that Sen is always right there when he wakes up— he used to be anxious about powering off for a break but he’s been getting better abt expressing his concerns and letting Sen help him work thru them + reassure him that, while they’re not unfounded, they’re also not entirely realistic. neither of them is deployed anymore and nobody will hurt them in their home, and Sen will always be right there when Adz’ systems are ready to reboot

n it’s not really a coping mechanism but I think the biggest thing Sen picks up from Adz is like, the ability to be compassionate to himself? a few years ago he never would’ve even bandaged a cut, just rinsed it off and let nature do what it was gonna do basically. If he’d burned himself doing something, he would’ve just worked through the pain— because he didn’t see any reason to show himself compassion. and maybe now he only does it for Adz’ sake (at least that’s what he tells himself early on), but Sen will stop and bandage those cuts, treat the burns, pause and let himself breathe and just have a moment. Because Adz would be worried about him. because he thinks Sen deserves to be treated with kindness, and maybe Sen doesn’t entirely believe that yet but he’s getting there. He is.

as for things they do to unwind, it varies depending on what they’re both ok with skdhdh— they both kind of struggle with being around Other People so sometimes unwinding is going out to Do smthn, usually a walk + then stopping for a little treat on the way back. Usually though, it’s just spending time at home doing quiet things. Watching dramas on TV together, or singing together. Adz isn’t as good as Sen but they have similar tastes and both love to just put on some music, curl up on the couch n quietly sing along. Adz’ lil beeps n Sen’s actual voice make a really sweet combo 💙

#ask #fursona #shfhd tyyyy;;#I feel rlly bad I’m still sitting on yr saw asks but my brain is MUSH rn— I have not forgotten abt them!!! I just wanna give them th #brainpower they deserve

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smutty-ki113r · 3 years

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omg holy shit- the tiktok with the wink- i am blushing; shaking my heart is racing because that person looks so much like him like wtf!! THE WINK- i will replay this video until i die istg(which won't take long with the way my heart is pumping-). i can't stop giggling either omg. stop i am simping so hard. so i think we are in the same boat here (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

ok he said: "sounds like my typa person; can they give me a tarot reading??? dude; monster high is sick i could watch that shit for days! tell them i want a cuddle buddy so bad and I am excited to meet them in person!" i don't know if that's how he said it word for word but the sense is the same. and don't worry he keeps asking if u wrote again- he likes hearing abt u ^^

dude the thing is i am more scared of them actually liking me but being like: "poly? nope." and then they ask me to choose and i would probably just not shift there again but that would be so fuckn sad cuz I love nina and ben. they r like super important to me. haha but ig i should shoot my shot anyways right?

-🃏

AGGHHHHHHHH we both be simpin- (this first paragraph is just me freaking out so.. feel free to skip ahead) OMLLLLL SAGHHJHHH JFHSLEI HJUIOYKFGHNCHJIYTURJDHJFTYGIU I CANT STOP SOBBING ;ASRHGPUHRG;OUSHRG;OI GOD HELP ME IM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW HE ACTUALLY KNWOS ABOUT ME AND THINKS IM COOL IM GONNA STOP BREATHING I NEED HELP- IVE NEVER LIKED SOMEONE THIS MUCH-

*cough cough* ok im done. (●´⌓`●) My vocal cords gave out. He keeps asking if i wrote again like a fic??? I would read his tarot, I would cook him food, I would suck his d-. Essentially, I would do anything for him. If it will make him smile I would fucking do anything. God me??!! MEER!!?? His cuddle buddy OMLOMLOML RED CALM DOWN- im gonna strain my vocal cords BAD.

Also bro- I wanna listen to lady gaga with him. This is now my life goal. (✧Д✧) Do you think he likes lady gaga?? (;ŏ﹏ŏ) God what I would give to listen to love game and just dance around- I don’t care if he thinks im weird. I’ve been waiting all my life for this.

Well how is jeff and Toby’s relationship with eachother?? Ask around about that!! Im sure that once you are completely certain they like you, shoot your shot. BUT ALSO BRO- please please please believe in yourself. You are amazing. Don’t give up mannnnnn. ALSO TYSM FOR THE COFFEEEEEE NOW IM CRYING AGAIN- AIGHA;YIYHIGYISFISA;OH;S I LOVE YOU SO INSANELY A LOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#🚹#creepypasta #ben drowned #jeffery woods #jeff the killer creepypasta #toby rogers

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yyxgin · 3 years

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as quick as love alarm was progressing compared to other dramas i’ve seen (usually wait ten eps for the first kiss and that’s it) it still seemed,, idk important for the story? n e way.

meteor garden is insanely messy like in the final episode daoming si just mentions everything dong shancai did that makes her so amazing and i honestly forgot they even did some of their things 😳 at one point they went to london and filmed in china town and i was just like ‘oh. i know that place’ and didn’t clock after that 😭

I GOT PEN ON THE BACK OF IT IM SO MAD AT MYSELF ✋✋✋✋✋ but come find me anyway lmao i got a changbin & minho film strip 🤪 can’t have anything nice around here and i learned my lesson the hard way.

i went through a phase when whenever i watched english tv i was like ‘why does this make sense without subs..’ and would be like squinting at the screen until it occurred to me that it was in english.

oh bruh i remember making a bank account the second summer bc my employer was like why tf do you not have a bank account ,, yeesh people had been paying by card for meals and stuff and not cash like the year before. so i made one and then she paid me in cash bc people started paying w cash 😐😑😐😑 i waitress so even though i get anxious about other things, i’m comfortable about waitressing so i am super nice to everyone. i am the designated person who orders for everyone (as long as you point at what you want in case i can’t remember everything i will say it). i know how important it is to be articulated to your server bc if they f up you get mad and they get mad bc ur mad and the chef gets mad bc the server f-ed up and the chef has to cook again and it’s a never ending circle of wishing you’d just gone somewhere else and i hate that. i also get mad at my fam when we go out bc the last time we went out (literally like two years ago now bc covid) there was a guy serving at this place we’re fairly frequent at and i was like maybe he’s training don’t be so mad at him for forgetting things just gently remind him! don’t cuss him out behind his back! there’s so much pressure about not pissing off your colleagues bc there’s a groove they’ve got and you’re just there not wanting to ruin it whilst also meeting customers needs!!

ive been waiting to pass my drivers test for over a year now bc covid has pushed it back and back and back again 😐 i finally get my next test date and i have to ask a different instructor for their car bc my instructor is on annual leave when my test is scheduled. i’m holding it together so i can ask an instructor, buy a car and yeet. the bus is okay but i need my own space sometimes.

i am good w my money im the jungkook of the working class. if there are pots and pans on the go i will take them. free food? count me in. i do have that broke b*tch mindset. although i don’t buy $300 white tshirts i will spend $200 on a day out 😃 and sis,, buy whichever one you like bc of the concept!! it’s always fun seeing the posters (personally i don’t put them up bc how am i gonna have sir johnny suh STARING at me while i get changed,, no THANK YOU) i’ll cry if i ever pull a yuta card bc he looks ✨spicy✨ in all of them.

i think i get what you’re saying about gg’s! boy groups have a wider range. eg, haechan hits those high notes and jeno/mark rap/sing quite low but girl groups can’t. unfortunately i feel like they rely on visuals heavier bc they don’t have the same range bg’s do. itzy are good!! i personally haven’t listen to a lot/watched a lot of their mv’s. i’m more into red velvet for their mv’s. im terrible at watching content so i am slowly working through bts’ content, monsta x’s content and ocassionally nct’s content. im gonna work on mamamoo next 🤞fake fans unite 😔✊✨

it’s so easy to feel invisible here. don’t worry. i’m here to brighten your day! much like a sunflower ~ 🌻

I cant really speak about the importance of the kiss in love alarm since i didnt watch more than the first ep, but i will trust you if you really say so ?? 😳 I WANNA WATCH METEOR GARDEN JUST FOR THE DRAMA DHSNSK

dude dont fucking test me i WILL find your address and i WILL visit you in your sleep and steal all your kpop stuff. MINHO FILM STRIP ??????? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

i still watch english things w eng subtitles sometimes bc my first language isn't english so just in case i dont hear something i can always read it you know djsksk

this is my first job so i didnt have to have bank account before but now that i have it i feel very adult😩✋i am so old. i dont like it.

oh no i hate people that arent polite to waitresses like they are just doing their job and its so hard and stressful and i dont want to make their life harder so im just really anxious abt everything in my life ever.

i'm rooting for you on your driving test !! lets hope you make it after such a long time <3

JUNGKOOK OF THE WORKING CLASS NO- thats actually me. also free samples. give me all of them. also i think its completely justified to spend so much on a night out since its for the memories !! #yolo am i right

I AM SO TEMPTED TO ORDER THE ALBUM NOW 😭💔😭 i actually have my posters on my closet and i change inside the actual closet at all times bc me and my brother share a room, so no one's looking at me thankfully haha. well, i do have bts pics on the warderobe next to my bed as well so they watch me sleep every night but we dont talk about that. YUTA CARD i would cry. he for sure does look spicy half the time of his life.

i dont know that many rv songs (the audacity, i know) but seulgi... ah. i watched the sm new years concert and when she appeared i couldnt keep my eyes off her. i should really listen to more of their songs so if u have any recs i am all ears

thank you for brightening up my day sunflower ily mwah😔❤

#lowkey wanted to apologise for replying late again but like that would be annoying #💌ask #🌻 anon

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voidselfshipp · 3 years

Text

Black Dragon Boys HCS

Cw:food, ab*sive m*other mentions

Kano

Hes a huge softie! And very easy to convince , Well at least by me anyway "if ya think you can bat your cute little eyelashes to get what ya want...then youre absolutely right"

Whoever said that this Man doesnt shower is wrong, I like the hc that hes actually quite clean, his own house Is a different set of rules but shhh

Messy, just...so messy

As seen in his friendshipp finisher hes quite good at bbq so every sunday he invites kabal and erron over to have a good ole bbq

Fuck cannon, black dragon bffs , they get on eachothers nerves but honestly is way more fun if they are just good Friends who do dumb shit togheter.

(Erron is the only one with functional braincell convince me otherwise)

Shirts? Why would he need shirts? This Man loathes shirts, getting him to use one is a miracle and a feat few people can accomplish.

The aussie jokes like "that isnt a Knife,THIS IS A KNIFE" arent funny to him, but kabal does it to get on his nerves.

He Designed a whole place in the black dragon base as a kitten sanctuary, anyone is free to take a break there if needed, a short one though, get back to work!

If you wanna get on his good side just buy him knives, the older the better he has a whole collection of em.

He shaves with his knives, and thats a fact , hes got a pretty steady hand too.

This Man sleeps shirtless, i mean who needs sleepwear anyway.

Kabal

Aw yeah my main Man kabal!

Ive been wondering, if we ever had a playlist togheter it would be a Fucking minefield.

Maybe you got some nice old indie rock, and suddenly 5 songs of h*milton the musical come in ONE AFTER THE OTHER.

I like the idea that hes just a huge nerd (I read this hc some months ago in a @/spacehologramcollection fic) and honestly same lets stay all night playing games togheter.

He says fashion aint his thing but u see his wardrobe and everything looks good on him.

Of course he has those clothes that are rotten and gutted and that he uses to mess with kano or erron.

He fast as fucc boi, if you feel a breeze behind you thats probably kabal running to do something he forgot before kano notices.

Hes honestly okay with kanos bbq, he brings all the snacks to eat while the foods cooking in the grill.

Mans got everything you need, he aint picky with snacks, he has this huge drawer in his messy ass kitchen filled to the brim with snacks.

Likes cleaning but it takes him so long to get started with it.

Sleeps like a fucking log, good luck trying to awake him.

Erron

Me? Proyecting my trauma on him? I could never. BUCKLE UP EVERYONE

He lived with his abusive mom most of his teenager years, he did learnt a lot from her but still hates her guts to this day.

If you for some reason want to make him mad ask abt his mom.

Hes the only person that has a functioning brain when hes with kano and kabal.

Hes the person who takes em out of trouble.

He talks mostly with cowboy slang, he wont translate nor Will he stop doing it,good luck.

Okay this is a crack hc , you cant tell me he didnt find "old town road" by lil nas x at least a bit amusing.

Hes has that "horse girl" energy.

His hat is his most precious thing, dont touch it (only I can)

If you ask him how Long hes been alive he'll answer but Will tell you a different thing every time. Just to mess with you

When its bbq sunday hes the one who brings all the drinks, he has Many favors yet to be cashed ( idk If thats how you say it)

He snores rather loudly, kano and kabal have learnt to deal with it and block out the sound.

Okay...I think thats all of em!

Also if you happend to notice that one (or more) of my hcs resemble someone elses please let me know, so I can check and if needed credit them properly.

#erron #kano #kabal #jericos cannon hcs #tw abusive mother ment #tw abusive mother #tw food #cw food #tw flashing lights #cw flashing

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willyoushareyoursoulwithme · 6 years

Note

What newsies blogs do you recommend following?

alright y’all, buckle the fuckle up bc i am abt to go through every blog i follow and give an in-depth analysis of why i love them and their content (is that not what this ask is asking? too bad, that’s my interpretation of it)

make sure to read all the way to the bottom, bc those are some of my faves (they’re at the end bc i scrolled through my follow list and ive been following them awhile so they’re at the bottom lol)

(under a read more bc this is gonna get long)

@wetcoffeee - a wonderful artist and great friend. hit them up for a good time

@brooklyns-here-enthusiast - love her, except for the memes. the memes can burn in hell

@timesarehardfornewsies - where do i even begin? i love this blog! the headcanons, the posts, the evERYTHING

@poorguysheadisdoingwhatnow - rachel’s headcanons own my fucking soul ok

@spotsies - great art, woke, A+ would reccomend (also runs @asksmallsie which is a fucking fantastic blog that i will never not love)

@freedomfriesandapplepies - OMG AMAZING A+++ (also runs @spotresponds which i love so fucking much)

@well-the-kids-do-too - A+++++++++ blog, love it to death

then of course the email blogs (who i dont quite know all of but they’re hilarious)

@kindofclever - only followed recently, but i love their posts

@2broke4broadway - a++++ blog, great posts

@newsies-stop-theworld - UMM, DID U MEAN AN AMAZING FRIEND AND BLOGGER?

@the-1992-newsies-is-better - gr8 posts *top-notch emoji*

@em-the-broadway-trashcan i think my dash buries their posts but i love ‘em anyways

@flushings-here - we dont talk much, but i love all the posts that show up on my dash!

@elmers-half-a-cup - my reaction anytime they do anything: GOOD POST OP!!

@elmer-s-s0cks - FUCK YES I LOVE THIS BLOG OK (in my head those two are categorized as the ‘elmer blogs’ and i treat them kinda like the mike and ike of tumblr)

@heytheywascoronas - HI YES THIS BLOG ALSO OWNS MY SOUL I FUCKING LOVE THEM

@thembrooklynboysisbig - adorable, to be protected at all costs

@patrickfinchcortes - fuCK YES

@kidblink-182 - LOVe the username, (also those two are relationship goals)

@glossophobic - ur prof pic makes me laugh every fucking time

@thatshiscigar - FUCK YES THIS BLOG ALSO OWNS MY FUCKING SOUL

@just-gimme-half-a-cup - been following them for ages, well worth it

@seizethegay1899 - an emperor/empress/nonbinary royalty amongst peasants (idk a nb term for royalty sorry)

@theatreplartypus - HOLLY FUCK I WOULD DIE FOR THEIR ART

@hetaliagurl5 - adorable, i love them

@fangirlforever5322 - amazing. A++++ blog

@ask-racetrack-higgins - the most in-character race blog i have ever seen, and they draw shit-eating grins like no one’s business holy crap

@daveys-pet-snake - hi i would die for you

@i-got-personality - been following for awhile, A++++ blog

@falloutboyzintheattic - HI I WOULD DIE FOR YOUR POSTS

@albertdasillva - BRENNA IS AMAZING SHE DESERVES ALL THE LOVE

@spot--conlon - caleb is the ultimate sass-master. love his blog and everything abt him

@umnewsies - *heart eyes emoji*

@kid-blinks - i think i followed bc of the username and stayed for the amazing posts tbh

@daveys-snake-facts - educational AND entertaining. five stars

@newsies-seize-the-day - WONDERFUL, A++++ BLOG

@brooklynbadbois - *top-notch emoji x5*

@spracetrack-higgins - excellent shitposts, sir redjamin

@nobody-told-the-horse - not rly a newsies blog, but i love it anyways!

@races-erster - GOD TIER POSTER OK

@newsieofnj - i would die for their blog

@broadwayandbookblog - such a good blog, i love them omg

@who-is-the-king-of-new-york - i love my british iguana

@ben-cook-can-cook - DID YOU MEAN THE LOVE OF MY FUCKING LIFE, THE LIGHT OF MY DAYS, A LITERAL ANGEL SENT TO EARTH TO SAVE US?

@superfan163 - a freaking amazing blog who is so sweet and amazing and i love them

@newseizes - aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i love this blog!!!

@amodestnewsie - 100000000000000/10

@crunchie-morris - HOLY FUCK I LOVE THIS BLOG. A+++ POSTS MY DUDE, AND THE URL ALWAYS CRACKS ME UP

@pistolpackinfloozy - ive been following this blog for awhile and never once regretted it :)

ok and then the anon blogs i follow that i really love bc their writing is A++++ @the-trashy-tornado @double-heart-anon @the-broadway-anon @brooklyn-anon @strawberry-anon @topnotch-anon @sweater-anon @gemini-anon @bell-anon

and i think thats it? but im sure ive missed some, and im very sorry! so feel free to scroll through the list of people i follow and take a look for yourself!

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archived--hell · 6 years

Note

1, 2, 17, honestly all of them if you’re up to it

1 - already answered

2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?

L O R D T jupiter fuck man got damn id die for jupiter

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?

i have adopted characters before, but ive never done anything with them, and i have received characters Back from people but besides that nah

4. A character you rarely talk about?

HI PLEASE I BEG OF YOU ASK ABOUT THE GODS PLE AS E IM DYING

5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be?

fuck uh.. honestly if its only semi popular would i do this bc being Well Known would be nice, yeah, but.. it scares me? idk but uh probably leo or aero, theyre two boys i hold close to my heart

6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?

:) eldur and leo kinda? idk i try not to make any of them look alike rip

7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?

YES! theyre actually all part of one universe called cooking with demons! i have a whole game planned out for the man cast kinda? but all in all its all set within one universe, with multiple different stories occurring within it jhfdksg

8 - already answered

9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?

unless specfifically made for them upon request, no. ive already tried that once and it lead to me losing any and all control i had over my characters. At this moment, i only “share” a few ocs with my boyfriend @coffee-burglar and even then, its taken almost a year to even be able to do that

10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design?

uh, all of them are kinda complicated for me, but as of right now, that would go to leos full form. (if u want a ref hmu and ill post it, but it wont be my art)

11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”?

like a ray of sunshine? yeah! angel and stitch would fit perfectly for that!

12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot

@coffee-burglar their oc chrome n koh, or derek but thats bc im a hoe

13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs?

aero, jhor, innis, leo are all trouble makers to some degree, leo being the most trouble some

14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory

uhhhh fuck what counts as tragic?

i guess id have to say leo or jupiter mostly, but eldur fits too

15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?

if youd let me i would yell about these fucks for hours on end, ive done it

16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)?

the best but wouldnt enjoy it: Jupiterthe best and would absolutely enjoy it: colby

17. Any OC OTPs?

stitch/lavaaero/kohcolby/derek/inniswill/happiness aeyr/Eberictderek/Xhaztolleo/eldur

18. Any OC crackships?

jhfkdfsjghdfkjhgdkfjsgl i never talk abt it but will/aero is fucking A+

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)

ah,, leo. i originally made him to project the worst in myself onto, and because of that ive made his life a living shit hole. but,, recently ive been hell bent on giving him a good ending, one where he heals, and lives his life ok, where he finally, finally has a chance to be happy and get help. its,, kind of been a tiny growing point for me? he just, means a lot to me because of that haha

20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?

uhhh all of their voice claims are songs n such but only a few of them actually sing in canon! heres the voice claims of the ones who do sing:

Aero - thats his voice, but hed probably more likely to sing Something Like ThisAngelStitch - this is her voice! but shed be much more likely to sing something a lot more upbeat, kind of like thisColby (its jeremy from bmc jghfdkg)

and one i dont have a voice claim for yet that does sing canonically is Sycamore!

21. Your most artistic OC

!!!! oh thatd easily be will! hes nothing professional at all, but he does enjoy drawing and making diy type projects :0c hazels also artistic but with food :0c but what would you expect from a kitchen witch

22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how?

Hi My Names Skinny Penis And No One Has Ever Even Looked At My Ocs For More Than Two Seconds

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?

lordt all of them would fit that, but the one thats changed the most? lordy thatd probably be will! he used to be a persona that was mostly only interested in dying and getting fucked, but now hes? evolved into a fully fledged character, and has even changed from being human lmao

24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?

jupiter, simply because he is The Biggest Comfort i have. hes,,, really important to me and i love him a lot

25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)

:) its bold of you to assume they dont all resemble me in some way. the most though? damian. lazy motherfucker with 200 emotional issues and no motivation to fix any of them

26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will?

…yeah.

27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song?

Nope, most tend to be born from ideas spawned by me n my bf concepting about my ocs, and what would happen if this thing happened? yknow?

28. Your most dangerous OC?

He has yet to be revealed >:)c his names icarus

29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?

INNIS, GOD INNIS WOULD AND HED PROBABLY DIE

30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection?

secret: damiannot so secret: colby

31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)

uHHhhHh

damian would probably have a very shitty coded blog theme (or default) and would genuinely only reblog shitty, abstract memes, and nice food recipes for hazel to make him

32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why?

protagonist? if youre going for the scared baby, colby. if ur going for the stoic “thats weird but ok” one, innis or aero.antagonist tho???? Leo and angelica :)

33. Your shyest OC?

uh, a oc thats genuinely shy and not just anxiety filled? angel :0c shes had a very limited interaction pool with anything thats not other angels so she tends to shy away from others bc she really, really doesnt want to get into awkward situations

34. Do you have any twin characters?

Jupiter and leo!

35. Any sibling characters?

Jupiter, leo, angelica, damian, eldur

jupiter, leo, damian, and angelica are all related via their dad, while eldur is related to damian via their mom

36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)?

uhh if im understanding this question right yeah i do! derek, koh, n a lot of others belong to @coffee-burglar ! ive just roped them into my universe dkjfhkdjgh

37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human

Op All Of My Characters Are Inhuman

38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer?

surprisingly? aero! hes got really good rhythm and can actually dance really well, its kinda scary

39. Introduce any character you want

:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Ill let yall have a choice, pick one

1.) Lust2.) Greed

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!

fond?? uh,, not really. but damian does have a very important memory attached to him.

tw for suicide ment hjgkdfs

with damian, i created him after i tried to kill myself and was stuck in a mental hospital. i had just finished reaing the first shadowhunters book, and decided to try and draw the first demon(???? was that what he was?? im a dumbass and its been over 2 years) you met, which had bright blue hair and if i remember correctly, electric green eyes? but yeah. i made him to cope with all the mental stress i had while being forced to be in that hospital, and hes become very close to my heart because of that

41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)

!!!!!!!!! yeah!!! my boyfriends drawn damian and most of my characters bgjkfdhgkfdsgl but one i do hold close to my heart (bc at the time, i barely knew them) was when @stuck-in-the-ghost-zone drew aeyr! it made me really happy tbh. i still have it saved to my phone actually!!!

42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods?

uhhhh,,, provided that they found a way to get anything involving earth and their beliefs itd probably be either angel or colby. angel enjoys learning anything and everything she can, while colby enjoys hearing about the Tea™ that comes with greek shit

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess

lordt ok

i really just? enjoy making demons really, or anything that doesnt quite fit “conveniently attractive” in at least one form they have. (i also favor making guys bc im Gay)

44. Something you like about your OCs in general

how well theyre coming together, for so long, their stories have been little fractures and pieces that never fit together. Fragments. but now, theyre almost fully put together and its… wonderful to see

45. A character you no longer use?

a hi have.. one. their name was angel aura, a steven universe oc. i got rid of them because of too many.. bad things.

46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?

not directly, but yes. it.. actually helped me give a lot of them a ok life, or at least a good ending

47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child?

@coffee-burglar eldur, colby, will n a few others lmao

48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure

ELDUR GOD ELDUR PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE THIS KID BACK TO HIS MOM

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes

damian

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want

ghjkfgkfdhgklfjhglkjdfhgslfjdgh give me a actual thing to talk about bc im dying op

#general oc tag #Anonymous

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bibbleboo · 3 years

Text

not to alarm anyone im prob fine cuz lbr if im still here by now im prob never gonna do it but ohhh4hjh5j4hj54 the s/ui thoughts lately lads. the ‘literally no aspect of existing in any way in this universe feels worth it even a little bit’ thoughts. ive been in this depression for like prob over a year now btw its just coming in big up and down waves and lately its been . real bad. mostly bc i didnt wanna bring it up bc its one of those 'i have no way out of this situation so whining abt its gonna make me feel guilty and hopeless and wont improve my state of mind in the slightest so why bother' but. might as well idk

i take care of my sisters kids like a literal fuckin cinderella from the minute i wake up (8 ish) till 2 am. this was not our plan. when i moved in i was supposed to pay for my share of bills and my own food and work on learning adult shit and how to take care of myself. instead im doing genuinely 50% or . frnakly M O R E of the hands on caretaker work. often by myself while she smokes weed and hangs out. im not joking when i say i have almost no free time. the free time i get is too unpredictable to make productive. its nearly 6 am rn as i type this. i get 3-5 hours of sleep a night, bc she wakes me up early, and goes to bed late, and if i have anything i need to do, i have to stay up a few hours later than her. she wittled my boundaries into this like everybody in my life always does when they need shit from me. and this means i cant take care of myself bc im disabled and like. im not allowed to be. nobody can do it anymore ig so im tryna figure out how or if i can take care of myself but. i have been begging to be given even just the opportunity for independence for Y E AR S but im constantly roped into filling other family members needs instead. so i quite fucking literally do not have MOMENTS of time to work on this. im stagnated, i was never given the chance to take care of myself bc i was stuck in this, so. she still has to do (most of) shit stuff like drive me around and cook dinner and clean and call my drs and get groceries and bro like i KNOW thats hard. but ive expressed before, 'either u take care of ur own kids and i fill my responsibilities so we’re both just taking care of our own shit we should already take care of, or it stays the same swinging pendulum bc i literally dont have the capacity to balance this'.

ive been running on fucking empty for years dude. i didnt know it was POSSIBLE to feel This exhausted and hollowed and drained. its pure misery. i feel like my spirit is being siphoned. i feel like nothing anymore. im running on fumes and have been for years ive BEGGED all of my family all thsi time please fucking let me catch my breath i literally truly cannot do this. and im told im in debt and have to for having needs. im always gonna be in debt. im not allowed to ask for more than i can give back so if i cant manage that too bad so sad. so im. literally stuck in this hopeless fucking cycle of being needy and burning ymself out from guilt.

and we’ve talked abt it before like im already bitter abt this shit right and she KNOWS its killing me. but. the other day . i got so sick from bronchitis i had to go to the er and spent days doing almost nothing but sleeping and coughing right. i was so fucking sick i felt like i could pass out and i couldnt breathe. i was no exaggeration sickest id been since i had swine flu. and she . told me i had to watch her kids so she could go pick up my antibiotic. which i understand but she got mad when at first i said i didnt know if i could. and i cant. help that. but the next morning i had the strength . so i sat there with the kids barely holding on while she got them. she came back. i went to go back to bed. she literally tried to force her kid into my hands dude. i put my foot down bc she outright only asked for me to do that until she got back and also why would she expect. a sick person whos Medicine shes going to pick up would be in the state to take care of her children immediately after. i legit couldnt do that. and then she threw the biggest text tantrum at me over it. saying 'adults still have to do things when theyre sick' and how i dont do enough and she said it was like having a third child and it. ngl kinda broke me a little like lmao ! girl ive been SLAVING FOR YOUUU PPL THAT I TELL ABT THIS SITUATION THINK UR A FUCKING >>>JOKE<<<< THE WAY U GOT ME PICKING UP UR SLACK and ur telling me im over here literally more worn out and broken than i thought was possible for a human being and its. nowhere near enough for you. like i thought this was unbalanced but in a different way YOU actually think it skews to YOUR side..... bro is it ever gonna be enough then lmao?? am i ever gonna be allowed to live debt free???

its just. to realize im over here grinding myself into dust when truly nobody is going to care. theres never gonna be a moment where they sit back and realize what ive sacrificed, literally all the health i have in me short of dying, all the spirit i have, im utterly broken inside and out just so i didnt have to see them suffer. and they got what they wanted so they hardly care. i mean shes so used to this, she felt ENTITLED to my help with it. she literally just automatically views these kids as partly my responsibility...... i cried all fucking day abt that dude. im trying so hard to live a happy life where i take care of myself, am not a burden, and not a slave either. why. is this my life. literally what did i do WRONG. to be constantly treated this way over and over and over again. why am i so irresistible to take advantage of why am i in this cycle how do i get out of it why is every choice too hard will i literally Ever find happiness in this like. doom! dread! i exist to be used abused and losed ! one day ill be homeless and wont know how to cope bc i was too busy fixing everybody else and i wont know how to maintain myself bc i wasnt allowed to learn !! life is a prison a nd idk how to do it anymore!! oh and ofc not to mention, i literally love these kids more than anything else and despite the suffering theyre fullstop the only thing keeping me alive, and i think that Would be the thing to legit make me k/ms if i couldnt see them ever again no way around it id never get through that so. that also has me stuck. lmfao. tldr; life sucks. pain. misery even

#neg///#tw sui ment/ //#d//on.t.r e/blo/.g #does medicaid cover lobotomies #vent/ //#long post/ //#might delete later

0 notes

fxhfndddfghn · 7 years

Text

tw for abuse self harm and shit under the cut (its basically abt my child hood)

so on the last day of school last year, i knew there were people being abused in my class so . i decided to give a speech about my life to the class. ive done this before w a lot of older people?? and i was able to inspire them so i waslike. fuck lets do this. so, i got in front of my class and i spoke about basically everything thats ever happened to me.

my mother was a really bad person and she used to beat me untill i was bruised all over and she abused me emotionally and mentally as well calling me such names as “useless”, “worthless”, “a mistake”, “r*tarded” etc on a daily basis because of something i didnt know how to do or if i didnt do something her way exactly. this abuse started as a child when my parents were still together (they divorced when i was around 6ish?) but when i went to pre-k we were learning how to write in english and theyd make us trace letters and such. i could not trace the letters A, U, V, E, and O properly. to this day i dislike writing those letters because they remind me of my mother.

my mother drank heavily, smoked, and did drugs daily. ever since i was a child i had to take care of my own mother and in the winter of 2013 she went into a coma for a month. she almost died due to having too much fluid in her brain as well as other various issues. after that, she was in and out of the hospital. then again in 2015 she was in a coma yet again this time it was much more severe. she had little to no chance of survival, but she was able to make it. after wards she was barely able to take care of herself, leaving me to clean her and cook for her etc. then she began having more and more seizures. i didnt. know how the fuck to deal with these at all as a kid and she had a seizure while she was in the car, driving on one of the busiest streets in staten island. we were in the middle lane and there were more cars. i called 911, and the operator was terribly rude towards me. eventually the emts came but, they didnt help at all. my mother regained consciousness but not really? she told me to come over to her and the emts did not take her vitals or do anything. they looked and they drove off. that fucking experience traumatised me so much. i have no clue how we didnt get into a car accident that day but im so fucking glad we didnt. eventually, though her body couldnt keep up with all of this. she passed away on the 4th of june, 2016.

now, due to the heavy abuse i got from my mom i believed everything she was telling me. to this day i do still feel like im worthless and a mistake and i still do feel useless when i cant help others. i began self harming at a very young age and progressively it got worse. ive been clean for about maybe? 4 months. i have attempted suicide before but as you can clearly see, it didnt work out since im here typing this. i was around 9 or 10 when i first attempted suicide. also, the end result of my mother abusing me so much is my ptsd. its getting better little by little but there are certain words and phrases that you can say that can make me have a mental breakdown because of her. but with the suicide attempt in mind, maybe in retrospect its a good thing i didnt die since now i have amazing friends with me.

with that being said, after my mothers death everything. wasnt perfect. i was going to live with my mothers parents however they kidnapped me and stole my mothers ashes and they were basically new york’s most wanted criminals. i was. actually fucking terrified that they wouldnt bring me back home in time but i couldnt do anything about it. they were arrested when i came to my school to fill out some paperwork. i wasnt able to see everything that was happening because a few of the officers told me to stay in the main office and not go after them, and thank God i didnt go outside because my grandfather was being really fucking violent. i was driven to the police station until my father arrived and when he saw me he broke down into tears. because of my own mother, i wasnt able to see my father at all but he was aware of everything that had happened to me. he had tried helping several times before by calling ACS (or CPS, child protective services) and by specifically telling them to see my in school however they came to my home and i couldnt say anything to them because my mother threatened to kill me if i did. and of course, after those incidents i was in a lot of trouble but my mother mostly blamed it on my father. with that being said, my father spent some time with me and we talked about things and then i went to my mothers memorial (which happened to be on the same day and as u can see. well a lot of shit happened that day)

i gave this speech to my class (just a bit longer) and if any of you would like a partial video of it (its only 11 minutes long sadly) feel free to pm me about it. there was also several newspapers written about my custody trial while my fathers was trying to obtain fully custody of me over my grandparents so you could also ask for that. that being said, i became a much stronger person with my mothers abuse, i became much more kinder and grateful and affectionate to and with everyone around me. you dont have to become anything like your abuser and i can clearly prove that. what i was given as a child, i flipped it 360 degrees around and i know. i wont be like my mother. you can remain strong no matter what. and honestly i fucking believe in you. anyway, thats all and i hope i inspired some of you in some way. thank you and have a lovely day.

#akira.txt #jsdfnjnf this was a lot ty type #alcohol ment//#drug ment //#abuse ment //#grandparents meant //#death ment //#mother ment //#police ment //#father ment //

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