#ive been basically on hiatus cause of school
Text
a lesson on style - i . [ ljn | njm ]
pt. i, pt. ii, pt. iii, pt. iv., pt. v, pt. vi
you’ve always been content with being associated with one word and one word only: average. average in looks, academics and social skills, you’re just looking to graduate high school without causing disasters you’ll have to live with until you kick the bucket. when you’re paired with school king lee jeno for the semester-long physics thesis, you can’t help but think the entire situation has pretty much set itself up for failure. that is, until you strike a deal with your partner.
alternatively: an au tale involving lessons in popularity, eleven consecutive B minuses, a secretly sensitive, chess-loving jock, and an amateur sex tape.
pairing: jeno x fem!reader, jaemin x fem!reader
verse: high school au { jocks!nomin ft. a super cute whiny ap physics genius renjun }
rating: M
chapter warnings: none
word count: 6.1k
author’s note: this is actually an old exo cast fic of mine from my old blog that i had to put on hiatus (alongside myself, actually), for many, many terrible moons (see : 3 years, for a master’s diploma that is simply collecting dust), but upon re-reading it, i thought that it would be a pretty good fit for a dreamie cast instead!! i’ve been thinking about branching out and writing for different groups for a while now, and as a slow return to writing, i’ll be posting the edited already written chapters up slowly so i can also write ahead! for anyone who might have found this blog and recognizes this fic, welcome back! i hope you still enjoy it! for people who’ve encountered it for the first time, i also hope you enjoy it! :) this is unbeta’d (even after all this time pls), so please do point out any errors i might have missed while editing!
*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
There are three things you had intended for your very average, simple, girl-next-door life:
1. Graduate high school with an average GPA, a diploma and a sigh of relief, without any type of valedictorian honors or the requirement to make a teary/educational/sentimental/hopeful speech about the past/present/future.
2. Get a desk job as the vice-vice-vice senior-vice president of an average paying company, pushing papers and typing numbers you don’t fully understand into a pirated version of Microsoft Excel 2000 to be able to pay your not very steep rent and eat take-out every other night.
3. Get married to an average-looking guy either named Jaehwan or Minhyuk, and have children that, like you, will have no particular special talents and will also live their lives as the average people that basically exist to make glamorous people appear more fabulous.
The back up plan is to stay single and have a very lazy, fat cat that eats more than you do.
There were three things you did not intend for your very average, simple, girl-next-door life, though:
1. Break your leg trying to do a somersault you can’t, even at gunpoint, imagine why you would agree to doing in the middle of the last pep rally of the season as – get this – a cheerleader.
2. Be asked to the homecoming dance by not one, but two very popular, very good-looking jocks who both, for some odd reason, manage to actually talk to you without either yawning or simply walking away while shaking their head.
3. Be asked to professionally join a teen-to-adult entertainment agency, after a 24-minute long supposedly private amateur sex tape starring you is leaked onto the internet and goes viral around the entire cyberspace.
In other words, your younger brothers have seen you naked. Online.
*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
“_____________, I just don’t understand why you like him so much.”
Some people might think you’re an optimist. Others might brand you an idealist. The least kind label would be absolutely deluded.
It doesn’t matter to you, though — you, knowing exactly what Lee Jeno looks like. Wasn’t that knowledge already a good enough reason in itself for you to spend a very creepy, alarming amount of time wishing, just wishing, he would walk over and say hey?
And it’s not just that he’s so chiseled and his face is perfect and his lips are so kissable. It’s not that he’s got an amazing body, and is tall and muscular but lean at the same time.
It’s his eyes.
They’re like, god. Great pools of molten chocolate with just the slightest hint of swirled creamer and – ugh. Behind those eyes, you’re sure there’s a sweet, sensitive man who’s looking for the right kind of girl. His soulmate, if you’re feeling a little more like a hopeless romantic today. You sincerely, genuinely, desperately hope you’re that girl.
Yeah, it’s weird. You’re in high school. Your hormones are probably kind of raging.
“Like, he’s just some dumb, boneheaded jock,” comes the continuation from beside you. You roll your eyes in response, but say nothing to contribute out of a desire to simply not. “And that’s all he’ll ever be. He’s failing nearly everything, except physical education. Why can’t you have a semi-obsessive crush on someone who might actually have a future?”
“For your information, Huang Renjun,” You snap, turning to your best friend. You’re seated in the cafeteria, supposedly enjoying a simple lunch meal. That was, of course, until you had realized you were three tables behind where Lee Jeno and his best friend, Na Jaemin were seated, also enjoying their lunches in some very cool, very manly sort of silence. So you’d looked, and let out a long sigh.
It was just a sigh, for the love of God. It’s not like you had run over and fallen to your knees in front of him. And yet Renjun had just put down his triangle gimbap, shook his head, and asked you why you had chosen, out of the thousands of perfectly acceptable (in his opinion) people in the student body, Lee Jeno to give you unreciprocated affections to.
And your response had been, and will always be: just look at him and tell me –- why the hell not?
“Jeno isn’t what you so assume as a boneheaded jock. He’s a classy, athletic student who just… happens to care more about sports than the mundane task of having to read a textbook for hours on end,” you shrug. That had come out more articulately than you’d imagined, which shocks Renjun as much as it actually surprises you — something that you notice with a twinge of belligerence after his eyes widen. “He’s probably going to get himself a top notch varsity scholarship.”
“Yeah, if he can even graduate,” Renjun shoots back contemptuously. “And even then, what’s a varsity scholarship going to get him? Do you know the amount of people who actually get into professional athleticism? He’s probably just going to end up a janitor or something.”
“Don’t you dare,” you growl.
“Come on, __________, the guy is a douche! Why do you have to pick him of all people?”
“He’s not a douche! And for your information, Jeno isn’t failing. He’s gotten a good number of D’s.”
“Yeah, I bet his teachers have gotten a load of D’s too,” Renjun replies snidely.
“Hey, not everyone can be a star student, Huang Renjun-nim with all the straight-A’s to brag about,” you sniff. “And Jeno’s not like that. He’s a gentleman.”
“Uh huh,” he said, sounding supremely unconvinced.
“Why do you hate him so much? He’s not really a bully. And he’s not done anything to you.”
“I don’t hate him him, I hate that you like him.”
You shake your head. As if that had made it clearer. “What’s not to like? He’s funny, athletic, sweet —”
“I’m sure you know all that because you spend so much time with him.” Renjun sighs. “Why can’t you just like someone else? Why can’t you moon over, I don’t know – Mark Lee, the very smart, also very athletic and very active student body president? Or Donghyuck, the physics lab assistant who, though not particularly into sports, has one of the highest GPAs around here? Or – I don’t know, someone like me?”
“Like what?” you say, distracted – Jeno had just stood up along with Jaemin, and had begun to clear their table, piling their trash onto their trays.
“Like – you know — you know – just —“
“He’s coming this way,” you hiss, effectively cutting Renjun off. Even though he doesn’t like it, he’s forced to turn away with you, even though he hadn’t really gotten a good look and wasn’t exactly trying to hide his presence from Jeno to begin with.
“So what?” He whispers before suddenly realizing he doesn’t know why he’s even keeping his voice down. “Are you going to offer to throw his stuff for him now? Is this what we’ve come to?”
“No, I want to leave.”
“What?” Renjun looks at you, then at his unfinished triangle gimbap, then at you again. “Why?”
“Because — I don’t want him to see me like this —“ you also whisper, starting to get up. Renjun, however, holds your arm, visibly confused and no small amounts annoyed.
“See you like what? So he’s coming, and now we have to leave?”
“I just – I don’t want – I just – can we please just go?” you beg weakly, watching them approach from the corner of your eye.
“No, there’s absolutely no reason as to why you have to leave just because he’s coming here,” he says stubbornly.
“Let go of my arm, please-“
“Just sit down, ____________.”
“No, I can’t, I don’t want to make eye contact with him — I don’t even want him to really see me right now—"
“Who said you have to make eye contact with him, anyway? Just eat your food.”
“Let’s just go —” You yank your arm back violently — just in time too, as Jeno and Jaemin pass by your table, trays in hand.
It happens all at once: your chair falls over as you shoot upward from the force of pull, and you reel back as Renjun lets out a surprised yelp. You don’t go far — just enough to make an impact on the person behind you with your forearm and elbow.
That person being, of course, Lee Jeno’s best friend, whose can of soda was just by the edge of his tray – an edge it fell off of the moment you collide with his arm.
You hear three things after that, all close to being simultaneous with one another:
One, a very loud Oh, shit! from the guy behind you, who you had just bumped.
Two, a chair scraping as your best friend stands up from his seat, eyes wide in horror.
And, three, a bloodcurdling shriek from your own mouth as Na Jaemin’s half-full diet Coke splashes down the back of your shirt.
There’s a brief hush that falls over the room. The words that come after seem a thousand times louder.
“Oh God, I’m so sorry…”
The fizz of the soda pops and crackles against your skin, causing the now-translucent fabric to stick to your back like overly carbonated flypaper. Your mouth hangs half-open in shock, trying to find the appropriate words for the situation. Renjun looks up at you, his eyes mirroring a fraction of your horror from witnessing the situation.He mouths something that vaguely looks like “let’s go,” but you don’t want to dwell on what it could have actually been, otherwise you might strangle him.
A warm hand gently rests on your back, pushing the sticky, soaked cloth even further closer to me. You wince at first, mildly disgusted by the feeling.
But a warm thought strikes you in that instance – what if, maybe, it’s Jeno trying to comfort you, about to say something sweet and caring that would ultimately show Renjun up, and perhaps lead to the beginning of a wonderful romance that would blossom between the both of you?
Well, you like being idealistic about your future – especially when the thought of it involves Jeno.
The idea of Lee Jeno pressing his palm against your back, his hand only obscured by a thin layer of fabric, suddenly sends unnatural tingles down your spine. Color rushes to your cheeks, and you bite the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from smiling at the strangely embarrassing but not altogether revolting thought. Renjun catches it and throws you a slightly quizzical look that suddenly changes to mild exasperation.
“Are you okay?”
It’s the same question you’d expected, but it was not asked in the sexy, careful, and husky drawl you’d often heard Jeno speak in. You deflate noticeably, turning slowly to the best friend of the man of your dreams.
“Yeah, I’m okay,” you say quietly.
“God, I’m so sorry, I really am —” Na Jaemin bites his lip, trying (see: failing) not to gawk at your blue and brown-all-the- way-down-the-back shirt. “I swear — it was an accident, I really didn’t mean to —-”
You shake your head. “No, it’s fine. I should have watched where I was going. My… bad eyesight, you know.” Your eyesight is fine. You don’t even know why you’d said that. The situation in itself was already sufficiently uncomfortable without a lame medical lie.
Physically, of course, sure, what with your back still kind of popping and fizzing from the coke stain. But more socially, considering you now have two attractive boys right in front of you, unsure of what to do about said stain, while whoever is still present in the dwindling population of the cafeteria stares, very pityingly, at the still-spreading new pattern of Coca Cola on your shirt.
But what really knots up your insides is the fact that this coke stain, the obvious focal point of the situation, is probably the one striking reminder of the day Lee Jeno actually had his attention fully on you, for the first time in your life.
Which, considering what everything was, really isn’t the best way to make your mark on someone.
There’s a long, awkward pause. Suddenly, Jeno pipes in for the first time since the scene had gone awry, speaking in the slow, bass tone he had claimed as signature. “Do you need a jacket?”
Oh god. He’s talking to you. Not around you, not near you, not over you, not out of a conversation you’d eavesdropped – no, sorry, overhead. To you. In that, sweet, nonchalant cloud of sound that fills your ears like some one-man angelic chorus. You let out an involuntary, dreamy sigh.
Renjun, obviously hearing your response (or lack thereof), clears his throat, trying to prompt you to reply to him. Well, shit. What did he say?
“Uh — sorry —- what?” you breath out, still dazed.
“Do you,” Jeno repeats patiently. “Need a jacket?”
Oh, god. He’s going to offer you his jacket. Offer you. His jacket. The one that says Lee in that super cool varsity font that makes his name look even yummier. And that’s literally the closest you’ll ever be to him.
“Hey,” Renjun hisses to you in a low, annoyed voice. “Say something.”
You snap out of a mental monologue again, flushing a funny shade of red for at least the third time today.
You open your mouth, but no words come out -– at best, a very pitiful sort of squeak lodges itself in your throat and dies there. Your lips simply part and shut like a fish trying to process oxygen. You can practically hear the sound of Renjun rolling his eyes, probably going so far back he can see all the creases in his big brain.
“Yeah, she’d appreciate it, probably.”
Yes. Yes, definitely.
There’s the sound of rustling cloth, and hands, gentle on your shoulders, carefully place the jacket on your back. You catch a whiff of the freshly laundered cloth, peppered with the subtly faded scent of cologne that’s been religiously sprayed onto the fabric many times before. It’s heavenly. With a wide grin on your face, you turn to the two of them, more or less ready to lay down your life at Jeno’s feet.
But his jacket, pristine and crisp, is still on him, devilishly unbuttoned and lightly clinging to his sides. He raised a questioning eyebrow as you stare, a little too long, at the jacket that you’d thought had been wrapped around you moments ago. Maybe he has two jackets. Maybe you’re in the matrix.
You turn your head, trying to read the lettering on the back. You only had to see one “N” in order to realize that the embroidery read “Na”, and not “Lee”.
It’s somehow embarrassingly difficult to hide your disappointment, but you thank Jaemin nonetheless. He seems genuinely troubled, making sure your arms are well into the sleeves of his letter jacket before backing away, hands up like you’re robbing him on the bus.
“I’m really, really sorry,” he repeats. You don’t know how much more apologetic he could manage to look.
“It’s fine,” you mumble. “Sorry about your coke.”
He shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter — what I’m worried about is -–”
“No, it’s no big deal — nothing some laundry time won’t get rid off,” you wave another round of apologies away. “Thanks for the jacket.” A bit of sadness makes its way into your voice; thankfully, it goes virtually unnoticed by all but Renjun, who makes an unpleasant face everyone who does notice it (see: you) decides to ignore.
“It’s the least I can do. Sure it’s okay?”
“Yeah, thank you.”
The first bell’s ring, signaling five minutes before the next period, punctuates the short and uncomfortable exchange. Most seniors have a free period or two for “studying” – except, only Renjun actually takes that seriously. You usually spend it with him, which is, truthfully, a big bore, so you generally end up falling asleep on the desk until he wakes you up for the next actual class.
“Hey, Jaemin, hurry,” Jeno says suddenly, checking his watch. “I want to catch that new action movie – next showing’s at half past one.”
Or, sometimes, if you had a car, guts and a whole lot of charm, you could sneak out of school for the three-hour downtime and go to the nearest mall, grab a bite or watch a movie if you could afford it. Fortunately for him, a car, guts and charm were pretty much Lee Jeno’s strongest selling points.
“Oh, yeah,” Jaemin said halfheartedly, his eyes flickering to you. “You’ll be alright?”
“Yeah,” you reply. “I’ll have your jacket with you, fresh and clean, tomorrow morning.”
“Don’t worry about it,” he shakes his head, smiling. It looks genuine, but for some reason, you feel like that can’t be too right.
“Na Jaemin,” Jeno repeats. Jaemin backs away, offering you a last small, apologetic look before nodding back at Jeno.
“Later,” he raises a hand in farewell. Jeno begins to walk ahead, not even glancing back at you. It seems he had more important things on his mind. Maybe he’d been trying to figure out what was going to go down in the new Mission Impossible movie. That seems like a valid train of thought for him to be so unconcerned about anything else.
When they’re clear out of earshot, Renjun gives a very audible, very heavy sigh. You wheel around to him, frowning.
“What’s so —” you imitate his sigh.
“Oh, nothing.”
“Come on, Renjun, I may not be grade A but I’m not that dumb.”
“You were like a one eyed pony crippled by a shiny unicorn,” he shakes his head. “And by unicorn, I did indeed mean Lee Jeno, which is actually a significant downgrade.”
“Don’t say his name so loud, people might hear.”
“Everyone in this part of town knows you like him, _________. It’s really not a thousand piece jigsaw puzzle,” he chuckles, though a bit sardonically.
“Liar,” you mutter under your breath.
“Fine, let’s agree to disagree, then.” He rolls his eyes. You note he’s been doing a lot of that today. “You could have at least handled the situation better. Most people would have actually managed to say something other than uhhhhh…”
“I did say something!” you defend yourself, rather affronted. “I said thank you, and it was fine —”
“Yeah, to Na Jaemin. In case you didn’t notice, that stuff doesn’t really funnel down to Jeno —”
“It as good as does.”
“All I’m saying is that if you wanted to make some progress, you could have at least looked him in the eye and not choked on your own saliva.” He’s amused. You can tell. Except you’re not in the mood to laugh at all, so you settle with sniffing — very angrily — pursing your lips, and saying nothing. “What? It’s true!”
“Just shut up, Renjun,” you say tiredly. “Maybe I didn’t want to make progress then, have you thought about that?”
“Not likely,” he snorted.
“Oh – really? Really? You thought it would have been a fantastic time for me to strike up a hi hello, how do you do, would you care to have a cup of coffee with me some time? while I was drenched in coke from the waist down?”
“I’m just saying, if you’re trying to be an opportunist, you can’t really be picky about when you make your move.”
“I don’t understand you,” You throw your hands up in the air. “First you tell me to stay away from him, and now you’re telling me to think back upon the fact that I didn’t make a move when I should have?”
“It’s called reverse psychology,” he said, after a moment’s pause of consideration. “Like, I’m telling you now yeah, go for it, but then in your mind, another voice is going maybe it’s not such a good idea, especially if the only time we ever get to talk is when I’ve been splashed by coke and I can’t even form coherent sentences.”
“Oh, well, shit,” You mutter sarcastically. “Why didn’t I figure that out?”
“Given time, you might have. I have so much faith in your intelligence, even though you refuse to use it.”
“I doubt it.” You mumble under your breath. He falls quiet, and you sniff again, not because you really feel the need to but because you want to express how miffed you are at the very, very sudden and bad turn of events.
“___________,” Renjun begins in a slower, considerably kinder tone after moment of actual silence. “Are you all right?”
“Fantastic,” you sigh. “Got coke dumped on my back, in front of forty percent of the student population, I smell like a soda parlor and I choked on my own saliva in front of Lee flipping Jeno.”
“That’s a good estimation — forty percent,” Renjun approves.
“Wow, thank you.”
“Hey, it’s not all bad. For the rest of the day, your last name is Na,” he says, trying to cheer you up. You sniff for the third time in a row, nose now raw with the habit.
“I’d much rather it were Lee.”
*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
You part ways in last period, Renjun heading off to what he calls AP Physics and what you like to call AP Torture. You, however, had managed to stay very happily in the physics lesson for normal people, despite Renjun’s constant badgering for you to just work harder so that you both could be AP Torture lab partners together. You’ve declined, quite politely, on more than one occasion. Average is your specialty.
Never mind the fact that Lee Jeno was in your Physics class, only three stations away from you. It’s not the reason you’re staying, but you’d be a liar if you ever said it hadn’t served as one of the many excellent justifications.
He’s already there when you walk into class, yawning and twirling his pen in between his fingers. Your breathing hitches a little as you take the glorious sight of him in, but you scold yourself for a hot minute, reminding yourself that cool people don’t ever show when they’re feeling any other emotion than the one called cool. You do a pretty good job (well, it feels like a good job) of making yourself seem calm and aloof, remaining seemingly unaware of his presence as you walk past him over to your station to sit down on your stool.
You should have been able to skate by with the whole act, too, except you stupidly take the time to sneak a glance at him, causing you to miss the surface of your station and drop your books so loudly you feel like the people in the next classroom hear it too.
Face burning to about the average temperature of a summer’s day in the Sahara Desert, you scoop up all your books and shove them onto the untrustworthy station table. Luckily, when you cast a furtive look at Jeno, he makes no indication that he had noticed the racket you’d made. His head is still turned to the front, finger performing a mini-exhibition of pen twirling.
“Hey,___________, have a good term break?”
“Hey, Donghyuck,” you greet, sliding into your seat. “Pretty good, how was yours?”
Lee Donghyuck, another physics genius with a strangely buddy-buddy relationship with the head of the Natural Sciences Department at school. He and the chair, Choi Jiwoo (who Donghyuck fondly refers to as “Jiwoo-nim”, for some inexplicable reason), are pretty tight, which is probably why Donghyuck landed himself a position as ‘teaching assistant’ in the basic Physics class, where he can tell you what you’re doing wrong and grade your quizzes instead of having to attend whatever boring lecture they had going in AP Physics, which he probably would have aced anyway. You’re not sure if he gets paid, or whatever, but you know it sure beats the hell out of staring at a Powerpoint all day.
You’re also pretty sure they put you in a station close to the teaching assistant’s desk because of that weird chemistry incident last year when Park Gaeun got her eyebrows burned off. You know they think it had been your fault because you were the one who had screamed and filled a beaker of water to splash onto her face when she was screaming (too) and going around in small circles like a blind chicken.
Except it wasn’t your fault – you don’t even know how it had happened. You had sworn it couldn’t have been you, because…
Well, because you’d had your back turned to Park Gaeun. Because you had been busy staring at Jeno, who was filling his graduated cylinder with hydrogen peroxide, his brow all scrunched up from concentrating. Which, by the way, makes the top 10 cutest things of the year every year.
But it still doesn’t change the fact that Park Gaeun lost her eyebrows and now has to draw them on with a pencil until they grow back, and it doesn’t sway your theory that you had been put in the station next to Lee Donghyuck’s teaching assistant’s desk so that he could keep an eye on you, in case you decided to like, accidentally electrocute someone.
“It was good,” he replies, smiling. “Do anything interesting?”
Well, you had tried to add Lee Jeno on Facebook, if that counts. Not that he’s rejected you; he just hasn’t accepted it.
Maybe today, he will. If not, there’s always tomorrow.
“No, not really. Mostly stayed home and slept,” You shrug, deciding to keep that Facebook thing to yourself. You and Donghyuck aren’t that close to begin with. “You?”
“Graded stuff,” he taps a stack of papers piled neatly upon his desk, and you raise a quizzical eyebrow.
“They let you grade the final exams?”
“Yeah.” He leans in conspiratorially. “Wanna know what you got?”
“No,” You pause, reconsidering. “Yeah. Nah – it’s low, isn’t it?”
“I wasn’t going to tell you either way,” he chuckles. “I’ll leave it as a fantastic surprise.”
“Fantastic,” you echo hollowly, knowing that must mean you had gotten a zero.
“It’s not as low as you might think. Besides, you can more than make up for it this term.”
Before you can ask what was happening this term, the door slams shut, and you spin towards the front of the classroom. Hwang Taehyung, the non-AP Physics teacher, stalks in, looking moodier than ever.
There are three things everyone knows about Hwang Taehyung:
One, he’s bitter because he’s consistently turned down for the AP Physics slot, which is also consistently handed over to newer and seemingly more qualified instructors. The latest AP Physics teacher is a young new graduate, Jung Yoorin, who is an average babe: pretty, fair-skinned, a slightly above-average bust size, with a surprisingly very, very above average IQ. You think the fact that she’s smoking hot kind of makes Hwang Taehyung a lot sulkier.
Two, he has one thing and one thing only in his wardrobe: a grey suit. Day in, day out, grey suit. Going to class? Grey suit. Going to a meeting? Grey suit. Catch him in the mall? Grey suit. Going to a wedding? Probably the grey suit. Maybe with a flower on the lapel, or something, to spice things up a little.
And the third, most important thing about him: He’s always, always in the process of getting a divorce with his wife.
And it’s not like he’s a ladykiller and is trying to get all these hot bitches off his back to protect whatever assets he may have accumulated with his teacher’s salary over the years. No, it’s the same wife, who is as old as he is and about sixty times bitchier, from the way you hear it. Except, you don’t know why he can’t just get rid of her. Or why the divorces never push through. Some people think it’s the really disturbing notion of make-up-break-up with a lot of old people sex involved. You prefer to stick to the theory of there not being an actual wife, and he just files with an imaginary spouse so that he can get continual pay raises for “divorce bills” that don’t exist. It’s not like the school does a really extensive background check, anyway. If you can teach and don’t presently do hashish, you’re pretty much hired.
“Donghyuck, give out the papers, please,” Hwang instructs, tossing down a clipboard onto the desk. Donghyuck jumps up and begins handing back your final exams from last term. “And are you sure you got this list right?”
“Absolutely, sir,” he says, sliding a paper over to you.
Ugh, a B minus. Not your worst, but definitely not your best. Meanwhile, Renjun is probably celebrating another well deserved A-plus in his AP Physics finals from last term.
“Fine, since I’m too lazy to look it over the class list,” Hwang swivels to the board, scrawling some unreadable shit that looked weirdly like Penis Tum Roadjet.
“Your Physics Term Project,” you stifle a laugh that Donghyuck shoots you a look for. “Will require you to work in pairs on a four-month-long investigatory research and experiment that involves any physics concept or breakthrough. And – yes, what is it?”
Park Gaeun, eyebrows half grown in, had raised her hand. “Sir, do we get to pick our partners?” You notice she’s pointedly looking at you, and you turn away, trying to look innocent. Judgy bitch. Maybe you should have roasted her eyebrows off.
“No, Lee Donghyuck over here has already laid out a masterlist.” The statement is met with a disapproving noise. “Now, as I was saying – what is it now?”
Another student, Moon Jonghyun raises his hand as well. “Sir, any physics concept? Say – if it involves the trajectory of a car falling off a cliff as it drives two hundred miles an hour –”
“If you can find a way to simulate that and prove what kind of significance it has to today’s society, I won’t stop you,” Hwang Taehyung says dryly, though his tone suggests that if anyone did manage to simulate a speeding car falling off a cliff again and again for this project, they might as well give themselves an F and be done with it. Moon Jonghyun sobers down, looking sulky. Clearly, he’d cottoned on as well.
“Now, when I read your name off the masterlist, find your partner – I’m assuming you’re all familiar with each other? You should be. You can spend the rest of the period discussing what you want to do. Turn in your short proposals by the end of the week.”
Everyone sits up a bit straighter, listening very hard for their names attached to their partners.
“Jeong Jisoo and Kim Minhyuk. Park Gaeun, Oh Taekyung. Min Taehee, Moon Jonghyun. Lee Jeno, ____________.”
As though in slow motion, you watch his head turn, his eyes searching briefly before they land on you. You feel your mouth go dry, and you see him, as though from a dream, stand up and walk towards your station.
Oh God, oh God, oh God. What are you going to do? Shit, shit, he’s still looking at you. Okay, be cool. Oh God, You’re going to have a heart attack.
As he takes the last few steps towards you, you run a hand through your hair. You think, maybe you should smile. But would that creep him out? But would it make you seem too cold if you didn’t smile? The end result of that debate is a painful, lopsided thing that looked more like a grimace than a grin.
“Hey,” he greets, setting his book down atop the station. He blinks once, very briefly, and it looks like all the lights in his head have gone out before something clicks in his mind. “You’re that girl right? The one in the cafeteria?”
He remembers you, though. You nod, speechless — actually, not trusting yourself to speak.
“How’s your shirt?”
You lick your lips, trying to get them to move again. “Fi-fi-fine?” You say breathlessly.
“Cool,” he blinks once again. “So — uh, I’m Jeno, by the way.”
And then he sticks out his open palm and holds it in midair. You have to hold your wrist to stop your fingers from trembling against his. You briefly grasp his hand, and he holds it for a brief moment before letting it go.
“I’m – I’m __________.”
“___________,” he repeats. “Okay, __________. Know anything about this physics stuff?”
“Well – I – uh,” You push your books back with your elbow, covering your embarrassing B-minus in case he wants to see what you’d gotten. “I’m… I’m cool with it.” Only because Renjun forces you to study with him and sometimes has to shove the new lesson down your throat when you'd rather be on Facebook trying to beat your Everwing high score.
“Oh, well, cool. Because, you know, I gotta be honest with you,” he shrugs. “Physics blows for me. We don’t get along. You know what I mean?”
“Mmm,” you reply, more or less entranced by the very confused, very beautiful look on his face.
“So, uh, will you be okay with taking the reins on this one? Get us a cool grade, and all?”
“Mhmmm,” you answer dreamily, watching the corners of his mouth turn up. He’s so cute.
“Fantastic. You’re a cool kid, ___________. Not sure why I haven’t spoken that much to you before,” he stands up, and you instinctively straighten up to look at him, eyes still following his every movement. He gives you a light pat on the shoulder, and all you can think of is how he’s touched you twice today. “So -– is that it? Are we good here?” He asks. You don’t know where your voice is again, so you just nod in response. “Cool. See you tomorrow.”
He glances at the now-empty teacher’s table — Hwang had left the class alone to plan — and then over at Donghyuck, who’s looking through an unclaimed exam paper of an absentee and probably laughing at all the stuff they got wrong.
“Hey, Lee Donghyuck, I’m going ahead.” Without waiting for a response from the teacher’s assistant, he eases out of the station and exits the room. No one seems to find this the least bit unusual.
“You’re with Jeno; that’s tough,” Donghyuck frowns, putting down the exam paper. You notice that there’s a really large, proud D on it that he must have really taken the time to write out. “He’s not doing well in this class. It looks like he’s going to need at least a B-plus to get him to graduate.”
“We’ll get whatever grade he needs,” you reply, your eyes still on the door as if you’re expecting he’d come back through and take you with him.
“Yeah – so you got a plan, already? You guys planned quickly. Everyone else just sat down.”
“Yeah, we have a plan.”
“So? What are you doing?”
“It’s – well, it’s a secret; I can’t give it all away, can I?” You snap out of your daze long enough to give an answer that isn’t just parroting back whatever you can hear above the noise in the room.
“Okay, okay,” he chuckles. “Keep your secrets then. But it better be good. You know I’m grading fifty percent, right?”
“Well, you better give me that fifty percent, then,” You raise your eyebrows.
“We’ll see,” he laughs, standing up from his spot. He pats you once lightly on the shoulder before leaving to walk around to see what kind of progress everyone else is making. You note that it feels nothing like how Jeno had done it.
It’s only now that you realize you’ve hit a big snag by making that brash promise to Jeno. You don’t know anything about physics.You chew on your bottom lip, watching everyone draw up ideas left and right for the term project. Some people already have five ideas written down. You have zero. Plus, your partner’s already gone.
You knead your brow in frustration, slightly hating the moony-eyed part of yourself and wondering why you always let it take the reins during important situations. You can’t let Jeno down, but there’s no one you can ask for help here either; this class is a competition now, not collaboration. You think about asking Donghyuck for some tips before remembering that you had already told him you and Jeno had a plan. Besides, whatever question you’d come up with, he’d probably just laugh at hysterically inside; nothing could match his AP Phy–
AP Physics.
And if there were a moment you would choose to thank a God you don’t fully believe in for making Huang Renjun your best friend, it would pretty much be right now.
#jeno imagine#jeno scenarios#jaemin imagine#jaemin scenarios#jeno x reader#jeno x you#jaemin x reader#jaemin x you#jeno drabbles#jaemin drabbles#nct scenarios#nct imagine#nct imagines#jeno imagines#jeno scenario#jaemin imagines#jaemin scenario#jeno drabble#jaemin drabble
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Opening Character Art Commission
(2-3 slot available/ 2 weeks - a Month done/ depending on the complexity
Hello Everyone… first of all nice to meet you guys. you could called me Sen, I'm known as the artist for Totem Force, Unearth Your Gays, and The Onryō of Osaka.
i've been taking hiatus on digital drawing for years, the last time i did some art was in 2021, the reason for it was something im not comfortable enough to disclose in a lot of detail (im sorry) short summary of some of them (beside the covid case) are these :
in 2019 ive been living alone, which makes me have more time to work on art
but i have to come back to my parents house at the start of 2020 to take care of them and my lil sister which taking more of my daily life time
since my parents quite old i have to fully take care of the house chores and such like taking care of my lil sister education, managing the administration file and such when she have to apply for her Junior High School
managing monthly bills like electricity, water, gas, etc (not to mention that i just become unemployed to take care of the house)
i also have to manage our daily food like doing grocery in the morning after taking my lil sister to her school, preparing food for my family (cooking for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and my lil sister packed lunch)
another house chores like cleaning the house, doing dishes and such
not to mention dealing with family drama for my mentally abusive parents (the reason why i leave the house in 2019 and living on another city away from them) which taking a lot for me to stay sane
around 2022 my mom took a turn and make a mess of our life, she ended up diagnosed with bipolar and mentally unstabled state, which cause a lot of problem with neighbours and relative. she cause harmed to herself and other which ended up making me the one to blame for "not taking good care of her"
forgot to mention i also have to deal with my parents debt on top of it (dad never pay the monthly bill for years and caught in indefility, mom taking a bunch of debt from bank and loan shark, lil sister got neglected since i left the house (and yes it was me who usually take care of her since birth she basically said im more of a parent figure for her than her own parents)
there are a lot more i couldnt mention which ended up taking me to a dark places and makes my life feels too much of a burden, i was considering to end myself in 2022 (unfortunately not my first attempt considering how tiring it was to live under my parents abusive tendency in my youth)…
it tooks me a while to get a grip on myself again, but i decide to keep on living my life in hope it get better, not to mention i hate the thought of burdening other people by taking the easy way out, i still owe a lot of people, and my lil sister still need me to keep on taking care of her, and i dont know what will happened with this house if theres no one to take care of it
im not talking to any professional yet but talking with some close friend online does help quite a lot in sorting out my thoughts.
im stable enough now to deal with my daily life in this house, and im planning to stick with it until my lil sister graduated from her high school in around 3-4 years in the future. in my vision she will be old enough to taking care of herself then so i could get my rein back to focusing on my own life
Long story short im slowly getting back on drawing digitaly since 28 march this years, and lets be honest… i couldnt fully work on my backlog without earning any income for my living cost while im at it, so hopefully by taking another comission alongside my overdue list i could get through all of it. and please dont worry and thinking i will neglect your commision, i will give my best to finish it within 2 weeks - a month (depending on the complexity of it). you could talk more detail with me if you decide to take my service offer
Im thanking all of you for even considering reading all this stuff, sorry for the long post and thank you..
TL:DR im opening character art commision for like 2-3 slots, you could find more of my samples here :
and i will post my commission sheet here :
once again sorry for the long post, and please contact me if you are interested… thank you <3
#art commisions#commission#character art#SenVersum Art Commission#Totem Force#Unearth Your Gays#fanart
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hi! i'm ash
they/them/xe/xem • panromantic • asexual • non binary • autistic (with suspicions of having adhd) • english • atheist quaker • a tad bit silly
been on the tumbler since 2021 so i know my way around here but i dont get every little reference (i get most and for the ones i dont i just nod and smile along). i am still a teenager so some Classic Posts are older than me and most are from when i was in primary school.
i dont really have a sophisticated tagging system, but if it helps, spouting to the void is my text post tag. i dont even strictly use it for text posts tbf
blogs i run:
this one (obviously)
@blues-amazing-blog - oc blog (currently on hiatus)
@wswe-autism-fic - fanfic blog (for waluigi says 'wa' everyday until dekuyama is popular). i also treat this as an alt account for fandom stuff sometimes
@knuckles-with-a-keyboard - silly little blog where i pretend to be boom!knuckles (i really really love this blog its so fun)
@jupitercl0uds-art - my art blog (shock horror)
@nonbinary-sticks-the-badger - my sonic blog
external links (whoops forgot to add this)
maybe one day ill set up a linktree idk
ao3
letterboxd
twitter (i only use this for posting from my switch now)
spotify profile
email me - [email protected]
dm me on discord: jupitercl0uds
i think thats it
click this link for more external links including some of the above ones but specifically how to contact me if i cant use tumblr
interests:
omg i love so many things its not even funny. a few important ones are waluigi (special interest), sonic the hedgehog (special interest AND hyperfixation (omg please kill me)), art (like, as a general thing, but particularly visual) and you WILL find me randomly posting oh-so-passionately about something ive never even mentioned before.
i do animation and illustration but that's over on my art blog. also all my animations are WIPs. you probably won't find anything other than a few weird lip syncs from when i was like 11 (i got into animation because of gacha life and animation memes). most of my art is sonic atm lol.
i also read and write fanfic! my wattpad and ao3 is jupitercl0uds :D
wattpad is mostly old stuff, crack and occasional reposts of my ao3 stuff. ao3 is mostly whatever is on my mind at the moment and WSWE.
misc
occasionally i get all heated up about actually important stuff. that's usually sandwiched inbetween my regular goofy goober behaviour. for the basic gist of it: very left wing, the tories are cunts, vote green, free palestine. you also need to understand the weight of that sentence because i hate swearing.
i have other socials too but i dont really use them that much. got bored of twitter and i forget about all my other accounts. only ones i use now are whatsapp (lmao), tumblr and i guess ao3 and wattpad. theres no real point in linking something i havent used in months
anyway, have a nice day and please go to bed on time!
faves (non-exhaustive)
AUTISM BOY!!!! ANXIETY GUY!!!! MILES 'TAILS' PROWER!!!!
he's been my favourite sonic character since i was little!!!! except for that brief period where it was amy because i found out tails was a boy and i, as a 7-year-old girl who had just learned about misoginy, decided amy was better because she was a girl. and that briefer period where it was cream because she had confetti in sonic dash.
my favourite iterations of him are scu tails, classic tails and sonic boom tails!!! i h/c him as autistic, having anxiety, low self-esteem but also being really cheerful and nonchalant about a lot of stuff. i enjoy trans tails of all kinds, but i believe in cis gnc tails.
NON-BINARY ICON!!!! TOP SURGERY GUY!!!! WALUIGI!!!!
call me thomas jefferson cause i have an entire binder on this guy. waluigi is THE blorbo from my spin-off-party-shows. i got into him because 'hahahaha! it is the funny garlic man's funny rose partner!' and that became 'they could marry me and i'd say yes on the basis that we'd get to see each other everyday, even if i only love him as a friend.
im very passionately hateful about 'hot' waluigi. shut up. waluigi is perfect. i hope he can be canon one day <3 i h/c him as autistic, transmasc non binary and really into gothic lolita. i interpret their relationship with wario as romantic partners and waluigi being super super poor. also, wlw mlm solidarity with rosalina!!!!!
anti-faves
dr starline
i love a bisexual icon as much as the next person but starline is not it. i want him to Suffer. which is why i then go on to make loads of fanart of him where he's crying over something. in the one shown above, i have just kicked him in the balls (full image). i also would love to be a VA for him because that'd really piss him off. good style tho. you go girl.
manjimutt (sorry but i only have 1 image of him)
hello to the other living yokai watch fan out there. i hate manjimutt. when i was younger i felt sorry for him, cause i was like 'oh, poor guy, always going to jail!!!' no. die. i do not like him. i hate manjimutt. i do like saying his name tho. MAnji-mutt! i think i hate him more than starline, because at least starline has redeeming qualities. the only redeeming qualities manjimutt has is pity because hes not actually committing crimes. thats it. hes not a nice person. hes just a guy. hit him with a wooden plank (har har).
that poor poor poodle though
posts i like
idk posts on my own blog i like a lot. idk if thisll be A Thing because im literally only doing tthis because of the first post on the list
recognising a url and the chaos that followed
stuff about my lgbtq+ identity idk
THIS IS HOW MUCH I KNOW ABOUT SONIC OK!!!!!
can you call me that slur?
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hey love!! i have a LOT to say... so buckle in
one- new layout!
two- boyfriend is back from japan i missed him way too much 😅
three- FAMILY DRAMA?!
my oldest brother has always been an asshole, ive also never been that close to him anyway, but he's still an asshole
and my middle brother is like literally my best friend and loves my boyfriend as well so yk we super close and shit
SO MY OLDEST BROTHER was talking shit about my relationship around my middle brother and my brother slapped him in the face (or maybe punched idek the whole story) so now everyone is like so confused and stuff (including me) and kao feels so bad bc he feels like he started it even tho its not his fault 😭 and my middle brother is stressing out bc he just "ruined his whole relationship with his brother" and my older brother... well idrk about him bc we talk only when we need to
anyway so today like at 12 the fam scheduled a zoom meeting so i can talk to everyone to try and see whats going on yk and there was this big argument between my mom and my oldest bro and now everything is so tense and stuff... BUT ON THE BRIGHT SIDE my exams are done and now i can focus on more things other than math and econ (regretting my major choices HARD rn)
hows your school and stuff? pls stay safe and drink lots of water <33
(omg whenever i ask someone about school i feel old)
i have so many stories i need to tell you but im going to hold it in so i dont write a whole novel
(sorry for my grammar and stuff i do math for a reason man)
THIS WAS BASICALLY A ROLLERCOASTER RIDE!!
i’m buckled in 🫡
firstly: you’re new layout is so cute <3
secondly: ahhh i’m picturing the romantic airport reunion! like running to each other at the airport 😍
NOW HERES THE TEA 🍵 🫖 !! I STAN YOUR MIDDLE BROTHER!! hopefully your oldest brother can see how much of a shit he was being and apologize. Also idk which brother’s wedding your planning but he should either be thankful because a. you’re putting so much effort to help one of your brothers and shut his mouth or b. your planning his wedding so he should shut his mouth…either way he should be quiet 🤐
^^this gets me heated cause i have a good relationship with my only sibling and i would never talk shit about his girlfriend :( !!
eyyy i forgot it’s exam season and i’m regretting not studying because my exams are next week 😢 YOURE MAJORING IN MATH AND ECON??? you’re stronger than me 😰 i’m basically failing calculus rn…i’m a business major basically meaning i don’t know what do do with my life yet hahaha
school right now is basically the calm before the storm, all the teachers are rushing to get everything done before all the exams go down and finalizing all my college stuff…i’m planning on going on hiatus for a week or two during all my final exams but hopefully my haechan smau will be done by then 🤞🤞🤞 and I'll still be online and stuff just won’t be posting and texts/reactions gotta keep my sanity somehow
also it was bring your child to work day today and i never felt so old…
i’m a grammar.ly person so if my grammar is wrong i’ll blame it on the app being stupid,, the amount of times i re-read all my work to make sure everything is okay is honestly insane (if i say i haven’t read over what i’ve written it was because i was sleep deprived)
can’t wait to here all your stories <3 my life is kinda boring rn sooo i’m all ears 😍😍❤️
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ive unfortunately decided that im going to be posting whatever i want from now on im going to be very insufferable mwah mwah i hope you all understand 💌
#ive been basically on hiatus cause of school#but also because i was a little bit scared of posting stuff cause most people follow me for atla or jjk-#im so sorry you guys i am in dc hell#completely understand if you want me off the dash after this but yup yup im gonna be here now <33#can i interest you in my one and only THE bruce wayne he is very damaged but hes cool and i love him#terrables
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Hey everybody~! Sage is here, and back on Tumblr for the foreseeable future!!! I Just wanted to give a quick heads up on my personal situation recently and this week!!!
☆The entire day today I'm traveling to the beach for my Senior Spring break! So for the next 8 hours, I'm stuck in a car. I'd really love to reconnect and talk to everyone again! I know i've been gone for a few weeks, but I truly do miss talking to you all 🥺🥺🥺 I know the dialover fandom has been quiet, but I'd love to chat about so much more than just sexy vampires, hahahaha!!!
☆I watched Final Destination 3 last night with my Luna and I'd like to talk to someone about it. It's such an interesting series, and I only watched one movie In the entire franchise. That tanning salon scene made me freak out and cry. My girlfriend was holding onto me so tight and it was such a sweet experience.( It's one my WORST fear to die by buring to death. )
☆Btw, I don't plan on leaving Tumblr anytime soon! I know ive been on a bit of a hiatus, bit thats just due to my personal issues. Mental health is/was declining, I had International Bachelorette Assesments to write, and I got my phone taken because my parents are assholes.
(Well, I have conflicting feelings about them. I love them so much, but we got our I s s u e s and lots of trauma hahahaha if I don't laugh I'd either scream or cryyyyy 🥲)
☆ I've also been accepted into college, and I payed my deposit! (That basically means I told the college "hey, I'm comming to your school!") That's a huge step in the right direction for me. If anyone goes to the University of Mary Washington PLEASE HIT ME UP!!!! I WANT FRIENDS BEFORE I GO OFF TO COLLEGE!!!
☆My girlfriend and I are still long distance, still going strong. We had our one year anniversary on Febuary 28th! While my parents are still unaccepting of our relationship, we don't care. We're soulmates, Twin Flames, meant to be together.
So, while life is stressful and chaotic and really hard, there is still so much to be grateful for. I'm still here, I'm pushing through cause I'm a strong, sexy, mother fucking bitch 😌 and I e never felt so content in me whole life.
☆The entire week I'll have my phone on me, so don't hesitate to reach out and chat! Please!!!
Ahem... tagging you guys so you see me and chat with me ahahahahaaa~
@papuru666 @pettyval @eyelessdoll-y @dixbolik-lovers and all my friends!
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hi, a long time follower on rnortal here,i just got back from a very long hiatus and i wanted to catch up! ive read ur about section and im just really curious about ur current life since back when i was still following you a few years back you still identified as a bi, had a boyfriend with a (i assume) very heavy ddlg kink. (you had rules etc.) do you regret having that experience with him? are u anti-ddlg now? i hope you dont mind me asking, im just very curious /a fellow noncis nonhet dude
damn thats a long hiatus,,, i couldnt have been older than 17 based on what youve mentioned so at this point what ur referring to was like 6 years ago minimum!! but ill go into the stuff u mentioned
during my teen years i was very lost to say the least, i could not make sense of my feelings, what had happened to me, and what i was going thru. it was like i was living this years-long nightmare where i was dissociated and hopeless consistently. at this point, most of it is a blur, like my life from 14 up until late 17 is mostly just a series of disturbing flashbacks to me. that boyfriend ur referring to was Obsessed with me like. he was into me ever since i was 11 and everyone in school knew it. i wasn’t interested and thought he was gross and annoying, and that continued to be the case until i was 14. months into being 14, i had gotten raped and that just changed my whole approach to everything. i felt like saying no to anyone made no sense anymore, bc my worth and dignity had already been taken away from me and my boundaries wont be respected and are meaningless so i might as well just say yes. after word had spread of what happened to me around school, most people turned against me and there was like, a handful of people who were still by my side. one of them was the not-yet boyfriend. people around me would also repeatedly tell me “if you don’t date him, you’re going to be making the biggest mistake, no one will love you like he does!” so like all those things coupled up together.. i just went with it basically. even though i did tell him repeatedly i didnt want to be with him, he was persistent and i had it in my head that if i said no itd be 1. pointless bc id be forced into it somehow 2. a mistake and lost opportunity and 3. saying no to the only person who will ever love me. so i just.. gave in? anyways during that relationship, i was pretty deep into self-harming, and he had a weird thing for that. he eventually confessed to me that hes sexually aroused by my age regressing (a symptom of my trauma i had no understanding of nor was i conscious to it). i just went along with it really.
when i was about 15, there was this girl i had strong feelings for which i did not understand at all, before then i hadn’t really been conscious of my feelings? so i texted my then-boyfriend (same guy as previously mentioned, it was a long distance relationship for most of that relationship and at the point im talking about rn) and was like wow theres this new girl in my class and i feel this strong connection to her and just want to be around her etc, and i told him i have no idea what those feelings mean or how to explain them and his stupid ass said “now you understand how i feel about you” (bc i couldnt for the life of me comprehend attraction basically and kept asking him how being into someone felt). so then i was like huh and thats when i started to think, ok i must be bi bc obviously i cant possibly not be into men but im definitely into women. so i stuck with that up until i was 17. from the age of 17 tho, i started to question it bc i realised i just.. didnt find men attractive, and i felt like i owed the then-boyfriend a lot bc he stuck by me during the time i was raped but i still found him repulsive and didnt want to be with him. i came to a conclusion at 18 and told him multiple times and tried to end it multiple times but he refused to let it end the same way he refused to not be in a relationship w me but this time i knew i just couldnt stick around as i was conscious of my feelings and was tired of living a lie.
SO now to answer ur questions, i do regret a lot of it yeah and i wish i could just rewrite or erase that entire section of my life bc it was the worst part of my life and years later it still makes me feel sick to my stomach. i would do things and agree to things, and itd cause me so much pain and misery and worsen my suicidal behaviour and self harm, and id just... do it again. the people in my life knew there was something off and i wasnt happy but nothing anyone said could change my mind.
i was anti-ddlg before i turned 18,, but he was also often on my blog so i mostly just stayed quiet on that until i was 18. i think ddlg is pretty pedophilic in a lot of ways, its often men acting out their pedophilic fantasies on women who are often traumatised and disturbed. and i think a huge portion of the ‘daddy doms’ are pedophiles, including the one i was involved with. so yes i am anti-ddlg.
theres a lot i didnt go into here but i didnt wanna write like an entire thesis on this but. yeah those werent good years of my life and i wish i had help or guidance. i wish i just never got raped bc it led to one harmful thing after another for me and i feel like i couldve avoided all of that otherwise. the initial trauma i was subjected to made me weak and i had no hope so i just went along w whatever and it only fucked me up more. ive grown & changed a lot since then and even tho i still struggle today im no longer in the pain i was back then
#imagine going thru ur teen years doing things that make u want to kill urself and even resulted in suicide attempts#and instead of thinking oh i dont like this i shouldnt put myself thru it#u just..................... do it over and over again and get increasingly worse#Anonymous
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( SAOIRSE RONAN + FEMALE ) — Have you seen VALERIE IVES? This TWENTY FIVE year old is a PERSONAL ASSISTANT who resides in BROOKLYN. SHE has living in NYC for NINE YEARS, and is to be WITTY and RESOURCEFUL but can also be CUNNING and INSENSITIVE, if you cross them. People tend to associate them with DARK COMEDIES and CROWDED STREETS — @cityofdreamsstarters
her full name is valerie harper ives, everybody calls her val and she’s totally fine with that
her parents were beyond thrilled when they held Valerie for the first time, even though it was twenty three five years ago, they remembered it like it was yesterday. unfortunately her older brother Will wasn’t very happy. until val, he was the only child of Ives’ and he was enjoying the every second of his parents’ attention. the siblings never formed a strong bond, they both were stubborn and opinionated, which caused too many fights to count. both Ives children were outsiders in school, will was a total stoner and Val was the weird girl with acidic wit. while she was very much interested in theatre, she couldn’t get along with drama geeks, they were too loud for her own liking.
she was born and raised in a small suburb of maryland, it’s called ellicott city
val always hated living in suburbs, she hated the fact everybody knew each other, she’s always dreamt of living in the big city, just like her older brother will. as soon as she graduated from high school, she followed her brother’s footsteps and moved to nyc enrolled in Brooklyn College and started studying theatre.
after two years in Brooklyn College, Val has realized she wasn’t talented enough to be an actress, her interest shifted to somewhere else; writing plays. It was way more satisfactory for her, she’d much rather than write her own story than portray someone else’s. Acting classes were getting harder and harder and Val found herself losing interest, so dropped out and decided to travel Europe. she fell in love with Italy, she has never been this happy before which made her decide to live in Rome permanently. she stayed there for six months, spent her months to find a decent job but she couldn’t find any. eventually she ran out of money and moved back to states.
she’s a personal assistant, she hates/loves her boss; his name is marcus, very problematic news anchor who hates his job. val lied about her college education to get that job bc sister girl needed to pay her rent.
she lives with her brother, her best friend trent and their band mate kim (she calls her kimbecile). since the band doesn’t make any money, val has to pay the rent..... which is why she has a second job, she’s a tour guide of the museum of the american gangster. so she travels to manhattan every goddamn day, she’s not complaining tho bc better than brooklyn
she lives in bushwick
her resume is very interesting. there was a time she worked as a receptionist in her boss’s bed and breakfast because marcus had to take a hiatus... well, it was more like he was forced to.
her parents are sweethearts, they live in maryland and they visit their kids quite often.
her brother is v sarcastic, he doesn’t put up with val’s snarky ass tbh. think steven hyde from that 70s show
once her high school friend kim said, the only person valerie ives cares about the most is valerie ives and that’s awfully true. while she loves her friends dearly, valerie always puts herself first.....
her closest friend is trent, he cares about him a lot, yet she manipulates him too when it’s necessary, it’s for his own good though so i guess that’s not too bad
TRUE NEUTRAL
☼ gemini ☾ aquarius ↑ capricorn
entp as fuck
basically female frank reynolds.......
she dreams to be a playwright someday, she worked as a production assistant in several plays
pinterest board
about page
musings
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BakuDeku: No Quirks AU Part I
Click here for Part II, Part III, and Part IV!
63 Works.
Strawberry Clouds by Catopawtra
( G | 38,898+ | 16/? )
On a beautiful day in late summer, Izuku Midoriya accidentally collides with a certain ash blonde skateboarder named Katsuki Bakugou and breaks the prized skateboard. Between juggling his part time job, school and the ill health of his mother, Izuku promises to get Katsuki a new board before the month is out.
A cute fluffy, dorky love between Katsuki and Izuku~
Milkshakes, coffee, skateboards and more~
Enjoy!
[Abandoned] a railcar named desire by Ramabear (RyMagnatar)
( E | 9,069 | 4/? )
Sometimes, on the train, Katsuki encounters a stranger who has the power to make his day incredible, just by the touch of his skin.
Every meeting, he feels drawn to the stranger, drawn to touch him, to hold him, to speak to him. And though it physically pains him to pull away, time and again, he always does.
Katsuki can't help himself and he doesn't want to ruin a good thing by trying to continue it off the train. Those moments they share are enough for him.
-------
Izuku tells himself, over and over, that what happens on the train stays on the train and if it happens only on the train then it isn't a problem at all.
-------
It turns out, they're both very, very wrong.
The Boy Made From Ash by theabridgedkuriboh
( T | 8,751+ | 7/? )
Legend tells of a single boy, a child who was born with a curse. His body was tainted, dark incantations cover every inch of his skin. A proactive curse said to cause the skin of the wearer’s body to feel like fire to others.
[Self-Harm]
[Abandoned] Falling Into Place by myraj
( G | 2,752 | 2/? )
Things that fall: petals, teardrops, snowflakes, rain, leaves, the sun, and I, for you.
[Abandoned] Fucking Nerd by PlotPancake
( Not Rated | 6,990 | 2/? )
Izuku isn't the luckiest person and god he knows it! So is it just another way of the universe raining on Izuku's parade, when his new study partner turns out to be his old childhood friend Katsuki or is it a chance for their old friendship to blossom once again?
(Honestly i'm not very good at coming up with summaries that captures the readers, but i hope this description is enough to at least peek someones interest) (≧◡≦)
{ Curator’s Note: Summary suggests that this fic is mainly about BakuDeku. However, it has the Midoriya Izuku/Todoroki Shouto relationship tag as well and the endgame is not explicitly stated in the tags, description, or notes. }
[Abandoned] King Of The Forest by Wildkitten312
( T | 6,865 | 4/? )
Katsuki Bakugou had lived in the woods for a few years, growing accustomed to living in the wild. Outlawed in the last village, he's called a "beast" and a "traitor." One day, he spots a green haired boy in his old home village and becomes interested.
[Graphic Depictions of Violence]
Watered By The Rain by demonglass
( T | 4,209 | 1/1 )
Midoriya isn't thrilled about the typhoon raging outside the school. He's even less thrilled about the person it's trapping him inside with.
fulfilled by howitzerimpact
( G | 836 | 1/1 )
bakugou katsuki has always felt empty, disconnected almost. he barely has any direction in life - what he wants to do, where he wants to go.
however, one summer day, he encounters someone who shakes his world.
the baking prodigy in the all-might pajamas by lucyheartfilia
( T | 59,682+ | 19/25 )
College AU in where angry art major Bakugou Katsuki kind of, sort of falls in love with a cute, green-haired nerd that likes to bake in his all-might pjs at questionable hours of the night.
someday, at this place by howitzerimpact
( G | 553 | 1/1 )
growth is pain, emotions are weird.
what is a crush anyway?
bakugou katsuki learns through the years what tears can mean.
Flirt by kitty_ray
( T | 1,015 | 1/1 )
Deku can't handle being flirted with, Bakugou is Hella Tired™, and Ochako never loses a bet.
(Bakudeku week day four: Retail AU)
Series
Part 4 of I love every bit of you (Bakudeku week 2017)
It's Better Than Drinking Alone by osakakitty
( E | 7,116 | 1/1 )
On the fourteenth of July, Izuku Midoriya's girlfriend called him to her place, and dumped him. And now, on the morning of the fifteenth of July, he woke up with a gruesome hangover and no one to celebrate the day with.
Or not.
Modern-day AU where Midoriya and Bakugo are strangers who meet in a bar, and then have wild and crazy sex later that night. The morning after, it's Midoriya's birthday, but he can't quite remember everything that happened. Bakugo is still willing to give him a present.
[Dubious Consent]
[Abandoned] Alexithymia by DriftingGlass
( M | 61,246 | 10/11 )
It’s as if he’s inhaling a breath of snow and ashes—a shock and choke in his throat, strangely reminiscent of the day he realized that the birthmark blooming on his shoulder was identical to the drawings on his childhood friend’s desk.
Now, twelve years later, it only confirms Izuku’s impending doubts that, yes, he is now legally claimed by Katsuki Bakugou.
[ THIS FIC HAS BEEN DISCONTINUED. ]
[Implied/Referenced Underage Sex]
[Abandoned] Flower Fields by pixelkitt
( T | 6,016 | 3/? )
"Flowers are pretty, but not when they have my bloodstains on them."
[Abandoned] Survive. by bakugovs
( M | 8,211 | 4/? )
It's been more than half a decade since it all happened.
No one saw it coming, so no one stopped it.
Midoriya Izuku had lost so much since that faithful day it all started.
Family, friends, stability, shelter, love, his childhood, unmade memories,
his happiness.
But he kept going, in search of something, anything, that's probably not even there.
When he gets himself in a bit of a situation, his life flashs before his eyes. On the verge of ending it all, he finds the one person he never thought he'd see again.
A certain fiery blonde, that he knows he shouldn't be too overjoyed to come face to face with again, but in the end can't help himself.
Bakugou Katsuki.
-------OR-------
Izuku is stuck in the middle of an apocalypse alone with nowhere to go. He visits the city he grew up in, to pick up a few things, when he gets himself in a bad situation and almost dies. He ends up meeting his childhood friend/bully Bakugou Katsuki, resurfacing a lot of memories and forming new ones.
[Graphic Depictions of Violence (Blood and Gore) | Major Character Death | Suicide]
[On Hiatus] Welcome Home by Viciedy
( Not Rated | 22,600+ | 7/? )
Midoriya Izuku is a civilian in Japan who accepted the reality of his state being quirkless, resulting him in being unable to be a pro-hero.
But he doesn't want to give up that easily from trying to cheer people up, make someone's day, or help others.
So what better way to sweeten up someone's day with sweets?
[Abandoned] This Time by TheSorcererOfWinter
( T | 2,248 | 1/? )
Katsuki stared up the sky, wondering if this was the punishment for all the sins he had done. He knew nothing can change the past, but he had changed for the better. It is forgiveness he sought when he came back to Japan, hoping to get the chance to atone for his mistakes. This time, he wanted to make things right. But how was he supposed to ask for forgiveness after Izuku's revelation?
{ Curator’s Note: This work also tagged with the Midoriya Izuku/Todoroki Shouto relationship tag as well as the Midoriya Izuku/Shinsou Hitoshi relationship tag. However, in the beginning notes, the author said: “This is basically my first story in BNHA for KatsuIzu Fic...” }
[On Hiatus] I Swear I'm Not Only Here For The Dog by Manateequeem
( M | 37,185+ | 29/? )
Bakugou Katsuki was never a real fan of dogs, but when Midoriya Izuku reappears in his life, he steals his friend's dog as his own.
Otherwise known as the quirkless au where Katsuki pretends that Kirishima's dog is his to get closer to Izuku who may or may not have a crush on Todoroki.
[Abandoned] the lies and the truth by electraheathens
( T | 3,598 | 6/? )
Katsuku Bakugou is rich.
Izuku Midoriya is not.
They live in completely different worlds, and this is the story of how those worlds collided.
[On Hiatus] Kacchan's secret by LikaNightmare
( E | 6,873+ | 4/? )
Of all the things that Midoriya Izuku might have expected to see – which covered a fairly good range of weird situations he had seen in the past involving Katsuki – in no scenario on his mind would he find himself watching his friend jerking off. And to pile up to that shocking image, he was calling out Izuku's name.
Home by Excommunicate
( T | 2,416 | 1/1 )
If Bakugou Katsuki needed to find a reason to visit Izuku's dormitory just to see him, he would.
He chose the wrong day to get snowed in with a green-haired freckled college student and a load of unrefined and volatile emotions. Maybe even on both ends.
Prólogo by MoniHitachiin
( T | 468 | 1/1 )
AU - Sin poderes pero con Netflix n' Chill porque hay muchas películas de superhéroes.
Series
Part 1 of Netflix n' Chill
We are in This Together by MaiaMizuhara
( T | 1,425 | 1/1 )
Izuku reached down to curl his fingers around Katsuki's and softly squeezed them.
“Don’t worry, it’s a move reserved just for you.”
Katsudeku week Day 1 - Teamwork.
Series
Part 1 of September KatsuDeku week 2017
[Graphic Depictions of Violence]
Field trip by Gladiolus
( G | 2,369 | 1/1 )
”Again?”
Izuku’s slumped shoulders went up in a resigned shrug before falling back to their previous position.
”Again.”
Or
Six years old Bakugou Katsuki is a fearless knight in shining amour (except, not really, and I mean NOT REALLY. He just stops at nothing to see the object of his affections).
Series
Part 3 of Time waits for none
The Space Between by Kanae_vR
( M | 94,875+ | 16/23 )
Holding his expensive camera tightly between his hands, Midoriya Izuku looked up at the once-white letters displayed on the black storefront banner. “The Hard Luck Bar,” he murmured to himself, unsure if he was getting ready to enter or flee.
Amateur photographer Midoriya Izuku is stuck in a rut and desperate for a change of pace. Deep in his city's grimy underbelly, he finds exactly what he's looking for in the form of an underground punk sensation on the verge of their big break, fronted by a foul-mouthed firework of a human being.
Loud, brash and passionate, Izuku may have just found the creative spark he needed, as well as something new to set his soul ablaze.
[Abandoned] Angry Kids by MrJokerBoy
( T | 9,251 | 12/? )
Just a collection of katsudeku/bakudeku one shots, fluff, smut etc.
Updated whenever and requests and/or suggestions are cool
[Abandoned] gotta do what you gotta do, i guess by inkwell (kkuro)
( M | 1,579 | 1/? )
it seems that working in retail isn't the only way to get money
[Graphic Depictions of Violence]
Sour Silk by BrightEyesEren
( E | 6,116 | 1/1 )
Midoriya Izuku starts to receive random gifts at his door. Chaos ensues when he realises he has a sugar daddy.
Lattes and Love by fliick
( G | 9,563+ | 5/? )
Izuku saw him every week, on Fridays. He didn’t even like coffee that much; if anything, he was more of a tea person. But after walking into the coffee shop one day after a long day of college work and seeing his childhood friend - or rather, childhood bully - working as a barista, he was intrigued.
Yell It From The Top Of Your Lungs by estupidaval
( T | 2,897 | 1/1 )
Being seen as weak by many is frustrating. Even so when it's almost everyone who looks at you.
-
At this, Izuku sheepishly lowered his gaze, and said “Strong people cry…”
At this, Aizawa smiled again, “And what are you doing right now, Izuku?”
“Crying,” He replied as he picked at his finger nails.
Aizawa decided to keep pushing, as Izuku knew what he was implying, but wouldn't budge.
He raised an eyebrow and spoke up once more, “So, you are…”
And ‘Ah, there it is.’ Aizawa thought to himself as a smile crept it's way onto the boy’s mouth. Izuku lifted his gaze once more and looked back into Aizawa's eyes,
“Strong.”
Homemade Happiness by issawip
( M | 47,889+ | 8/12 )
There was probably a bigger chance for Izuku to win the lottery then for this to happen, unfortunately instead of getting filthy rich overnight, Izuku had managed to choose the worst fucking person in the world to be his sperm donor.
a love story about an IUI, an extreme coincidence and two people seriously destined to be together no matter what
Невинное хобби by Explodocat
( T | 1,199 | 1/1 )
О неожиданном умении и странных увлечениях.
Entering the World of Music by hibahime
( G | 1,236 | 1/1 )
THIS IS A REPOST CUZ I WAS AN IDIOT WHO ACCIDENTALLY DELETED THE ORIGINAL POSTING.
(music au that i've been working on. currently still world building because i want to keep expanding this au.)
Five-year-olds Katsuki and Izuku are taking piano lessons together. It takes them more than a few tries, but join them as they take their first steps into the world of music!
Series
Part 1 of Learning to Play As One
[Abandoned] A Noble Pursuit by MaiaMizuhara
( T | 4,589 | 1/? )
Are people defined by a prescripted fate, or rather by the choices they make?
Izuku awakens one day void of memories in a foreign place; the only recollection he seemed to have was a lucid dream and a name – Katsuki. He is later found by the prince of a country involved in a vengeful war and becomes the head tactician of his arm, where everyone’s lives are given for him to use as he pleases. He can’t afford to make a single mistake, because one wrong move could be the end for all of them.
And now – as he has to deal with his quick growing feelings for said prince –, his past is catching up to him. Events are revealed and stories are rediscovered, stocking up all for one last grand finale.
[Graphic Depictions of Violence]
Colours of Life by karrxma
( T | 11,885+ | 2/? )
Piano prodigy Katsuki views life in monochrome after the passing of his mother.
After two years of not touching the piano, a male violinist called Izuku came into his life and showed him the colours of life for the first time. They performed and made many memories together but everything will eventually come to an end.
"You exist inside a spring that can't be replaced."
❦ Your Lie in April AU ❦
A Life Between Worlds by Lrchild
( Not Rated | 55,019+ | 29/? )
Midoriya Izuku had suspicions that he wasn't the only werewolf, but he never really meet any others. He grew up with a semi-normal childhood, but always had a certain lonely feeling that followed him around.
His only friend, Kacchan could never truly understand the life Izuku had been forced into. Izuku only ever thought of his wolf blood as a curse. But when he accidentally runs into more of his kind, he's forced to make a choice. To leave the human world and be a wolf, or never transform into one again.
Or of corse he could try franticly to live in both worlds and never disappoint anyone.
(but he is going to have to make a choice... sometime...)
*summary might be changed later*
[Graphic Depictions of Violence | Major Character Death]
{ Curator’s Note: This work also has the Midoriya Izuku/Todoroki Shouto relationship tag, and the endgame has not been stated in the tags, summary, nor notes. }
[Abandoned] You're Worth Remembering by Manateequeem
( T | 1,004 | 1/? )
Bakugou remembers nothing and Izuku wants to help him remember again
[Implied/Referenced Self-Harm | Suicide Attempt]
As usual by shinxtea
( T | 538 | 1/1 )
Izuku likes it when Kacchan comes to the cafe. Eijiro, on the other hand, is just lonely.
[Abandoned] Taste of your own medicine by MrJokerBoy
( T | 5,605 | 5/? )
In which one day Katsuki's and Izuku's roles have been switched.
[Abandoned] A wedding to remember by Miki_Tamiko13
( E | 536 | 1/18 )
It a beautiful day for love, unfortunately for the west shironita fang tribe it just another day.
For our young king and his warrior might be the most desirable Alpha's , it don't mean their pulling the Omega or betas left and right.
King Katsuki is a hot head with zero people skills.
Kirishima is an idiot
Shouto is emotionless
Jirou only loves music
Iida too uptight
Mineta is... well mineta( not hating and not bashing I actually like him)
•••••••••••••••••••
Yes our fine Alpha's are 16 and old enough to marry, but no beta in the tribe seems to be wooed by their charm, until the day they visit the dragon birthing ground to choice their dragon that they will claim.
They find more then a dragon , but not 1or 2 but 6 beautiful omegas from the north hota tribe.
Series
Part 1 of Inspired by life
no feelings were involved in the making by yunnings (ladylolli)
( T | 7,998 | 1/1 )
Of course Deku is the same as he’d always been - slow, shitty, unable to move to the beat on cue and shoulders hunched in terribly until everyone can see his prominent collarbones in his imitation of a retreating turtle. It doesn’t make Bakugou want to bite down on the smooth junction between Deku’s neck and shoulder. Nope.
Choreo!AU where Bakugou and Midoriya are partnered together on a project for MightTV at U.A. Dance Studio. They work together reluctantly. Bakugou gets angry when it doesn't work out. Midoriya gets prep-talks from Todoroki. Kirishima gets unsung best bro award 2k17.
for katy / bakudeku secret santa 2017
One Thing Straight by celestialdescendant
( T | 9,899 | 5/5 )
They totally aren't.
Hints of their relationship is found in all of their friends’ social media accounts, but majority of their fans still think that Katsuki and Izuku are in relationships with anybody but each other.
It was amusing up until it became sad.
The Rarity by bittybitt39
( E | 38,660 | 10/? )
Midoriya Izuku had been promised at the age of four to his once dear friend, Bakugou Katsuki. Their mothers thought it smart to betroth the two in the hopes that Izuku would be protected and taught in the safety of the guards Mitsuki could provide until the day he was old enough to come to the south kingdom. After all, it was not everyday that the rarity of a male omega was born within these times.
Izuku grows up knowing he is promised, and has vague memories of his alpha from his younger days. He is also gifted, in more ways than one when his teacher Toshinori confronts his mother with Izuku being named as his successor. But a war breaks out between the kingdoms of the north and east, and the betrothed are separated far longer than the royal family would have hoped. But the war raging keeps them separated besides a few letters that are received from those that were brave enough to run through the war lands.
When the World Is Falling Apart, I'll Focus On You. by estupidaval
( T | 787 | 1/1 )
"The sound of splitting wood downstairs made Izuku jolt, and Katsuki held him tighter, making Izuku focus on him again. Izuku began to cry. He didn't want to die, he was terrified, god, he was terrified. He wanted to stay with Katsuki forever. They planned their future before humanity broke into millions of pieces. When they were stress free, when they could hold each other with no fears."
[Major Character Death]
I think my neighbor, my super cute...baby faced...neighbor might be fucking insane! by TatoBugTheDestroyer (orphan_account)
( G | 4,433 | 1/1 )
------
Katsuki remembered one time when he came out in the evening. The sun was setting at the time, and the man’s head was completely level with the flaming ball of gas. Katsuki almost missed the opportunity to snap a picture, he was in too much awe to move. His cannon only made the scene a thousand times more elegant. The camera didn’t quite blur out the background but made the top layers features more sharp, making Deku’s tussled hair stand out in front of the pinkish-orange sky behind him. It caught the sunbeams that shone through his curls, beautifully so.
----
They're both a little crazy.
[On Hiatus] One Click Away by ALonelyGod
( T | 21,235+ | 2/4 )
Gaming AU!
Katsuki "GroundZero" Bakugou is a game streamer on Twitch, he plays anything that catches his fancy. One day he's wrecking noobs in CS:GO and the next you'll see him mindlessly farming on Stardew Valley.
After watching the Overwatch World Cup, this salty AF player got inspired and started streaming his comp matches. Together with his squad, they aspire to reach the top. But no matter how good they are at killing nobody wanted to take up the support role, and that's when Katsuki got obsessed with this mysterious support player named "Deku".
For Katsuki it was love at frst healing orb.
[On Hiatus] Sober Up by teapotscandal
( E | 6,607+ | 2/10 )
Izuku Midoriya is an Omegan paramedic burnt out by the stress of his job. Katsuki Bakugo is an Alphan bartender who blatantly refuses to acknowledge Izuku as his childhood friend. After Izuku stumbles upon the bar that Katsuki works at, he begins showing up after every shift, drinking himself stupid and bothering the shit out of Katsuki who isn’t as indifferent as he tries to act. How long can Katsuki stand back and ignore Izuku’s downward spiral into alcohol abuse without stepping in and admitting to what happened in their past.
[PTSD | Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism]
Handkerchief Dude by zubateatscakes
( M | 10,631 1/1 )
Mr. Anger Issues might be an alien, Izuku thought. He couldn’t explain his apparently unlimited voice volume otherwise.
��What have you just called me?” The guy cracked his knuckles and, face twisted in an evil smirk, stepped forwards into his personal space.
Izuku became very pale and then turned as red as a tomato. He flinched and moved backwards, but the man kept approaching. “Did I say it aloud?”
“You fucking did.”
“Oh crap. Sorry?”
“Take your fucking lame excuse for an apology and stick it up your ass,” Mr. Anger Issues spat out, nails digging into his palms.
Ghost hunter Izuku travels between the world of the dead and that of the living. Katsuki is troublesome and likes to brawl.
One day, Izuku finds Katsuki in a dark alley, and their lives entangle together.
Bring It On by theskywalkerkid
( M | 9,484+ | 6/? )
“That’s great dude, watching you guys perform takes my breath away. Seeing you do all those flips and being flexible, I could only dream of it. Like when you did those backflips and landed into the splits, I was totally taken by surprise. I bet Katsuki likes that you’re flexible.”
Izuku stopped walking and his mind tried to process what he just said. “W-what?”, his voice cracked.
Denki paused giving him a curious look, “are you two not…like you know…you guys have done it right?”
Izuku feels his face turn bright red, he can’t believe that he was just asked that.
A High School AU that needed to be written.
{ Curator’s Note: This work also has the Midoriya Izuku/Todoroki Shouto tag, and the endgame is not explicitly stated in the tags, summary, or notes. }
Lost Omega by GreyDayMoon
( E | 45,575 | 15/15 )
Izuku was just trying to take care of himself and his mother but a single slip up sends him into unfamiliar territory where he encounters an aggressive alpha who drags him into tribe life.
[Graphic Depictions of Violence | Underage]
The Sound Of Your Voice by melkara
( M | 2,989+ | 1/? )
Katsuki Bakugou is without a job and struggling with no real future in sight, until he gets hit over the head with a bucket from a future who has a really really nice voice and an over protective best friend who just wont leave him alone.
---
Or bascially that one story where Izuku is deaf, Katsuki is oblivious, and Todordoki is just trying to keep the floors clean and Midoriya happy.
[Past Abuse]
Matchmakers by Trashreciptical
( T | 7,935 | 4/4 )
When Katsuki agreed to be Jirou's wingman at a school dance for his students he expected to be bored out of his mind, he expected to laugh at his students suffering trying to communicate with the opposite sex, and he expected being subjected to shitty pop music all night.
What he wasn't expecting was the gorgeous teacher from the other school with forests in his eyes and stars on his cheeks....fuck he has it bad.
In which Katsuki is a chemistry teacher that is one explosion away from being fired and Izuku is the adorable english teacher from a different school, who sweeps Katsuki off of his feet and he doesn't know what to do.
haven't we been here before? by yunnings (ladylolli)
( T | 4,018 | 1/1 )
Aeryong, from Mother Birth, a bell that chimes when you meet your fated one—
A bell from his memory; it’s ringing, once, twice. (That means you’re close.) Amidst the crowded Chinatown street, Bakugou pauses and looks.
Midoriya’s figure stands, unyielding and pliant as willows on a brook as the masses flow around him unhindered, water towards an open ocean.
Huh, Bakugou doesn’t feel as surprised as he should have. “It’s you-”
Bakugou got his hands on a love bell. Midoriya mistakenly thinks it's a death bell. Bakugou clears the issue up brusquely and they kiss and make up. [winky emoji]
And this too shall pass by Stars1Are1Metaphors
( M | 5,658 | 1/1 )
Japan is plagued by a horrific, contagious and deadly disease that holds prisoners, although... not for long. In the richest mansion of its capital city, the only child of the great engineer Midoriya Hisashi is struck. Unfortunately, in the time this child has been born in lies no cure. To quell his loneliness, Hisashi creates the first ever robot and calls it Katsuki. And so, in a disease stricken town a tender bond forms between a kind-hearted boy and an unusual, one of a kind creation.
[Major Character Death]
a calm surrender by ficklish
( T | 4,841 | 1/1 )
They meet purely by chance, and Katsuki isn't sentimental enough to deem their reunion fate, but it’s definitely a nice change, to be able to talk and have someone answer.
“Keep up,” he snaps, “or I’ll leave your ass behind.”
"Okay Kacchan," Deku says, and has the nerve to beam at him like a very annoying sun.
Katsuki looks quickly away so he doesn’t blind himself.
Katsuki falls in love with Deku against the backdrop of a zombie apocalypse.
[Graphic Depictions of Violence]
Ephemeral by bakudeku
( G | 821 | 1/1 )
Dreams become reality on that short summer evening, when knees were often scraped, while cicadas whistled the sweet melodies of summer, Izuku shared his first kiss with Katsuki. It was a simple peck on the lips. A small gesture to express the mutual fondness they felt for each other. The kiss did more than serve its purpose, it formed an even deeper relationship between the two.
Spring BakuDeku Week 2018 by gaytodoroki
( G | 2,752 | 7/7 )
What the title says.
(Short drabbles for the wonder duo’s week!)
Closer, You And I by TheSorcererOfWinter
( T | 1,714+ | 1/? )
Nothing came out interesting with the boy to Katsuki’s eyes. His entire existence screamed he's a fucking loser and there's no amount of entertainment he could get from the other to ease out his boredom.
Well, that's what he thought.
Who knew an embroidery on a piece of an old handkerchief will open a door to his forgotten past.
Katsuki is determined to know the truth, even if it means getting closer to a nerdy transfer student. He will.
(A combination of Nekoumyu's Prompt 2 and Prompt 3)
stones at the starlight by shousanki
( T | 2,972 | 1/1 )
Katsuki and Izuku struggle to survive in an adult world not kind to (not-quite) childhood sweethearts as they search for the small and good things amidst petty indignities.
Series
Part 6 of 青春ノンストップ ーSpring Bakudeku Week 2018ー
Love That's Left Behind by ploThief
( T | 1,439 | 1/1 )
The trio flinch when they hear the tale-tell guttural moan of hungry zombies. Two new zombies have heard the commotion. One looks savage, face twisted forever in an angry scowl. The other is plainer, moving with a slight limp. The two are bloodied and dirty, but in much better condition than most zombies they cross.
Newly turned, Ochaco’s mind supplies. It leaves a bitter taste in her mouth.
[Major Character Death]
to you, on the other side of the screen by stars_go_dim
( T | 21,554+ | 7/? )
Bakugou is a popular YouTuber when he suddenly stumbles upon Midoriya’s makeup channel. But why is he so interested in some random kid he found on YouTube?
or alternatively
that YouTube au nobody asked for
5 Times Izuku Came Home And Almost Had An Heart-Attack And 1 Time He Came Home And His Heart Melted by elizabeth_16
( T | 4,829 | 1/1 )
Five times Izuku Midoriya came home and almost had an heart-attack thanks to hs husband and one time his heart melted (thanks to his husband).
Or: These idiots being married and in love; fluff fluff fluff
[On Hiatus] Till Death Do Us Part
( M | 1,990+ | 1/? )
Izuku Midoriya finds himself on quite the situation. Having been sent on a supply run for medicine, him and his two companions Kirishima and Shinsou are all separated by a horde.
All alone, a reanimated hand pulling his shoulder towards a rotting jaw, Izuku says his last regards to his loved ones and waits for the inevitable ripping of his own flesh.
But it never comes.
-
Ikuzu/Hitoshi is only really referenced a few times. Katsuki/Izuku is the main ship.
Rated mature for scenes of violence and gore.
[Major Character Death]
#BakuDeku#KatsuDeku#BNHA#bkdkfl masterlist#masterlist#g:au#au:np#t:sh#w:violence#t:dubcon#w:underage#w:mcd#t:s#t:ptsd#t:addiction#t:pa#curator ellie#long post
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oh my stress;;
“'tis i, a writer, togetherslapper of words.”
knowing that my own five year anniversary at rookies is in about two months makes me actually really emotional, and most of you know, i don’t really get emotional about stuff like this.
i’m here to talk about all the fucking shit storms i brought. starting from good ol’ ellyrk, who turned into yuriirk and currently known as hyunark, as well as, rkxwoozi, aka jihoonrk, fucking namtaerk, eunwoork, minhyunrk, younghyunrk 1.0, junhoerk aka younghyunrk 2.0. i am about 100% sure i’m missing someone BUT YOU KNOW, we can let that muse stay in dungeon vile.
not even 10 minutes later
oh yeah- minhork was it? minhxrk??? idk what his url was, shortlived lovely muse i tell you. jisungrk was a thing for like 6 months. however, as you can see, i have a lot of muses, 11 in total, well 8 if you remove younghyun 1.0 & 2.0 and jihoon.
its been nearly five years since i joined rookies and ive made a lot of memories here. good, bad, amazing, mediocre. a lot of memories than pretty much just range. can you believe i’ve actually cried a few times about rookies related thing? yeah, me neither, but here we are hahaha. i will probably not edit this at all, so if you see spelling mistakes, or maybe something is repeated, just ignore it please, its from the heart.
this place really helped me develop my writing, vocabulary and definitely social skills. i might suck at threading and replying on time, but i have to say, all the muns here are amazing!!! i remember when i first joined, oh boy was i fucking terrified of the fact that i SUCKED at writing. i was so cautious about what i write and how i spoke and i think some of you could remember it haha. i’ve also managed to make some amazing friends throughout my stay here, all of them older than me, as well haha and i was babied so much i always found it funny, but very thankful because some of the life lectures i got where definitely needed.
however, i will take a few minutes to write about the last three standing; hyunark, jihoonrk and younhhyunrk
hyunark:
my first ever tumblr muse. my first rookies muse. my longest standing muse. she;s gone through a lot, and honestly, she will continue to do; i wasn’t all that good with her in the beginning, now i see a lot of gaps and weird stuff whenever i have to go read something to remind myself of events and so on. however, i really love her, and i’ve gotten a bit too attached to her haha. can you blame me tho? from ellyrk, to yuriirk, now hyunark, there have been alot of ups and downs but i am happy where she’s come. to being a potential walking scandal, to being in two survival shows, to being the first muse at rookies to not be offered a contract renewal, to another survival show, to a nova trainee after being cut short twice by hyunbin. she had gone through alot of character development and its shaped her a lot better than i ever could, for which i need to say my thanks to the mods of rookies for it, because without them, hyunark would probably be headed in a completely different direction haha. however, she still focuses on producing, writing lyrics and ever since she got into nova as a trainee, she’s focused on her dance as well because she doesn’t wanna be called an uncooked noodle anymore. her dream is to be a recognized producer and lyricist, and will fight for that title.
jihoonrk:
jihoork was previously known as rkxwoozi. i even used his original blog when i re-applied with him;; he lasted a bit under a year in all honesty the first time and i specifically remember that the reason for that was being signed under trc. it was a pretty unfortunate time for him to be signed, with all the scandals that happened and what not. i was a tad regretful that i dropped him to be honest, which is all the reason to why he was brought back. tbh, he didn’t change in that like 6 months gap he was away. he was the same moody gremlin everyone knew and loved. if you had asked me, a few years ago if i thought jihoon would debut, i’d laugh and say no fucking way, but here we are, when he is a member of convex and got to debut with his longets lasting friend, sehun and best friend seungcheol. so he is living the dream you know? even if he doesn’t show it, he is grateful and appreciates everything that’s happening around him and to him. his main goal right now is to be the variety ace of convex and is working slowly to achieve that goal.
yonghyunrk:
ahhh here we go;; my last muse who had to undergo something similar to jihoonrk;; i brought him in, because i had this idea of a metal head, who really just wanted fame and girl and guys. however, stuff happened, i couldn’t get him to have threads i wanted and so i dropped him. again, i pretty much reapplied a few months later with junhoerk which was basically younghyunrk 2.0 and eventually, i realized that the muse deserved its original fc and here we are again with younghyunrk. to be honest, i don’t even know how i managed to get him to go to mga4, but he went and caused chaos with chungha and we all know how much fun he actually had haha;; he still doesn’t like dance, and will probably not enjoy it until he gets signed and coach tells him he can’t dance and JUST out of spite, he will get better at it. ultimately, he wishes to debut on a band, he wouldn’t really mind if he gets placed at any instrument, as long as he gets to sing. he still wants to reach paradise city, as guns ‘n roses have said.
quick mentions to some of my other muses as well. its funny how all my other muses lasted for months as well;; honorary mentions will go to namtaerk, minhxrk and probably minhyunrk, i won’t be really talking about them, so focusing on eunwoork and jisungrk;
i can without a doubt say that these are my more interesting muses, or eunwoo at least. her dream was to become a musical actress and was a serial dater; she’d date a lot of people, girls and boys, and wouldn’t really bat an eyelash once it was all over. never really had long term relationships either. she was into photography and her photography instagram was more popular than her personal one and she didn’t mind haha.
jisungrk wanted to be a professional football player and he was never really interested in becoming an idol, which made him fun to play. however, he was a really young muse, i think i made him 16? yeah, i think he was 16 and after that i realized i can’t do young muses;; its just weird for me, i have no clue what middle school kids actually do haha, i remember i just slept and did nothing all day, didn’t even study whoops.
but yeah, these two muses were very short lived but fun and i think that one day, if rkforthmuse is allowed, i highly doubt it, i will bring back eunwoork because she deserved more attention than i ever gave her.
now i will do a few mentions, by a few i mean it will be a lot;; i’m sorry if i get sappy or anything;; please accept my love <33
ABBIE - @seungcheolrk & @rkwon & @rkgwen - sunshine, my lovely amazing sunshine;; thank you. thank you, thank you. its been nearly five years of friendship, can you imagine it? soon, in just two months, it will be half a decade and i am extremely grateful;; i can’t explain it and i know that even saying it on a daily basis to you, it won’t be enough;; its funny how we started talking through rksoo and ellyrk, and now here we are, four years later, rkjicheol being in the same company, debuting together, in the same group. in all honesty, i remember when i dropped jihoon and then picked him up after like, literally two months, and it was one of the best decisions i ever made. i always have fun talking to you, plotting and threading and i honestly wish i did it a lot more than i currently do, but you know, uni is kicking my ass hasljdhlas anyway;; thank you, sunshine, thank you a lot and for these almost five years i love you a lot 🍅🍅🍅
HUNNIE - @yutark & @rksunwoo & @rkseokwoo - where do i even start?? like, oh wow, there is A LOT;; i can definitely say, we started talking when i suggested jihoon as sunwoo’s first kiss and look where the are now? dating, for what? seven months, can you believe that? SEVEN!!! this is insane haha;; and look and where we are now, talking on a daily basis, and its very very nice;; i don’t know what i would do nowadays without you, so i’m really really thankful you deal with my sorry ass so much ahdsdsalla it started with jihoon and sunwoo, then it transitioned to younghyun and yuta, and most recently, its been yuta and hyuna and their lil game of cat and mouse;; its always fun plotting with you, threading, talking, everything really;; and i really hope it will continue to be this way;; i love you
LYN - @rkxsnn & @rkavery - hello there mum!!! impressed im starting with you? anyway, i have A LOT OF THANK YOUS TO TELL YOU, starting from dealing with me, to helping me get through college, to life advice, to all the skype calls we had, a lot of things in these past few years. even if we don’t talk as much and i know you have life kicking u in the ass, i wish we could change that soon;; i miss you a lot;; all of your muses are amazing and i absolutely adore them, as much as i do you!! hmu soon;; minsoo and elly were iconic, and he will forever be a huge part of her;; remember that mino and taehyun ship we had? good angst times lbr.
JEN - @yujurk - sup there mum number 2 even though i act older than you, you can’t even lie about that haha; you were one of the first people i started talking to in rookies, and still do on a weekly basis? daily? you get the point haha;; damn, i don’t think we ever argued as well, which is insane and you do give good advice and oh my god your muses are so funnnnnnnnnn bring all of themmmmmmmm innnnnnnnnnnnnn;; i’m so so happy that you came back to rookies after that hiatus;; really really happy;; jieun and hyuna are iconic partners in crime;; jihoon is grateful that jieun taught him how to sing;; hyuna thinks soyeon will forever haunt her, no doubt;; jkook is forever jihoon’s bunny you can fight him about it;; eunwoo says jkook never took her on a date, she’s upset about it haha
CLARA - @rkwendy & @rkjohnny - clara clara clara. you really love having me send the group chat into gay panic huh? i will forever continue to do it, do not worry. once a week sound good? hahah;; i wish we talked more than we do lately, but its always fun no matter what it is;; i also know for sure, you have my back and we can take over a country if we tried hard enough lbr;; i think we mainly stared talking when the brosquad/antisquad happened, which was pretty much when i joined rookies haha;; so again, nearly five years of friendship look at that!! we need to talk more and you need to tell me more baking recipes!! i think it was hyuna and wendy that we first got to interact and then wendy and jihoon and funny enough, i feel like jihoon and wendy are closer than hyuna and wendy haha;; then younghyun joined the picture to fully annoy wendy out of this word;; we need to thread more sobs;; lets make that happen yeah?
SHINOBI - @rkkangjoon & @rkgray- hello there shinobi. i think our meet up scenario was the same as with clarea, huh? brosquad/antisquad;; we should talk more, that’s a definite but i think that with hyuna&kangjoon we have gotten a lot closer than before and its really cute and nice and i love it qwq gray and hyuna need to release a hit song someday, we better make that happen yeah??? good!!
SACHA - @rkrose & @rkkyungri - i am super super duper ultra mega giga happy we got to talk a lot in the past few months, get to know each other and its very very nice;; i always have fun talking to you and i know i can lean on you if my day has been shitty, and i am sorry if i’ve had a lot of shitty days sadhljsajldnl ahhh, but yes, our muses will go through a lot and i’m really happy you enjoy it and i hope we can see them grow and develop!!
ANI - @rkchungha & @rksohee& @rkmiya - what am i actually gonna do without you, that’s a very very good question i was asking myself recently. its really weird we never really talked a lot until younghyun was brought into rookies, which was i think this year huh? funny, very weird, what life was i living without you in it?? hahaha, anyway, i’m really glad and happy having chungha and younghyun so close got us to be closer as well, even if i set you into rp panic with random questions and potential scenarios haha;; i’m glad you enjoy them;;; love you lots!!
CARLY - @taeminrk & @rkluna & @danielxrk - we don’t really talk much, but in reality, i actually don’t know where i’d be rn if i couldn’t come to you with stupid questions and inquiries;; i wish you all the best in every possible aspect of life and love seeing you on the dash;; ngl i am also extremely and forever sorry that you have to read through hyunark’s post from like three years ago, that;s some nasty writing right there yikes;; but thank you for taking rookies under your wing and just expanding it and making it better and better with the rest of the mod team;; keep up the good work!!
a very special thanks to all of the royal girls, @rkxnarong , @rkyena , @rkella , @rkcheri , @rksoohyun , @rklisa , @rkrose who made royal survival a blessing, her stay in royal amazing as well;;
special thanks to all the royal boys, ex ones count as well, fight me @rkbyunbaek , @jaehyunrk , @kibumrk, @yienrk , @rkseonho, thank you for being a part of hyunark’s journey in royal fun and emotional lbr;; you guys managed to make royal fun for me as well, so thank you so so so much to every single one of you guys;;
a huge thank you for og trc roster that’s still here and dealt with jihoon;s sorry ass back then;
a huge thank you for the kt roster that had to deal with jihoon as well, even if it was for a short amount of time;;
a huge thank you for sphere, and convex members @seungcheolrk , @rkhyun , @rkjinwook , @kibumrk , @rkjinkis , @rktaeyxng , @tenrk , @rkxroyal , @rkohsehun , @yienrk , @rkromeo , @rkzyx, who will now have to deal with jihoon like it not, but i apologize on his behalf;; even if i don’t say it often, i am really really happy jihoon got to debut with your boys and i’m happy i get to interact with all of you so much;; thank you, thank you, thank you;;
thank you rookies, for such an amazing time!! i can only wish and hope for many more!!!
#;wordcount/2715#rkfifth#[[ im an emotional ball of sap rn#[[ thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
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Group Ask #163
Relevant links to find lost fic
previous group asks
spnstoryfinders
Guide to Finding Fic
Guide to Finding Lost Fic
Try this great trick to finding fic
Ask #1 ( @huffle-pride ): there’s this fic…#1
There's this fic I read a while back...I've dug through all the tags I thought would be relevant and can't find it, so I'm hoping you can help. Lilith captures Cas and performs a demon making ritual on him, twisting his grace. It manifests in the hand print on Dean too, turning it black, and they hide in the Garden in Heaven for a while?
Thank you for digging through the tags! Let’s see if our followers can help
Found by @anupalya and @alisajbrown :
Demonised by snarkywoman on livejournal
Ask #2 ( @gloryegore ): there’s this fic…#2
So, Hey! I was wondering if you can find a fic that i lost long ago.I don't even remember the site!!! But it was basically: Mary and John wanted to have a daughter and decided to adopt. But they find a 5yo Castiel and took him to be the third Winchester brother. At the beginning everything is fine, but then Mary dies and John left the boys to travel.Sam and Dean start to have relationship w/ Cas and he's a angel. I think it was on Livejournal and it was Wincestiel w/ Secretangel Cas
Check out our wincestiel and secretangel!cas tags.
Ask #3 ( @112275428 ): there’s this fic…#3
Hi I'm looking for a fic saw on lj once. I think it was a sentinel/guide AU or hunter and guide AU. They went to this training school run by Ellen I think but that wasn't a major focus of the fic. I remember this specific scene where Cas confronts Dean because Dean has apparently been telling people not to court Cas and this specific guy's name was Patrick and I think Patrick was a witch. Sorry its not much to go off of. Thanks!
Found by @justanearth-boundmisfit:
Sensor and Guardian [not rated, 6700 word count]
Dean and Castiel meet at a school for supernatural creatures and soon, their lives are entwined forever.
Ask #4 ( @crimincisminds): there’s this fic…#4
Hi! I've been looking for a fanfic and cant seem to find it (idk if its deleted and thats the reason), i was wondering if you could help me out? it was a pretty long one shot post 4x22 with sam and dean gathering everyone up to bobby's place..? i think at the end dean and lucifer face off, but i remember everyone being suspicious of sam for a big. It was somewhat divided into parts and Cas&Chuck were separated from the group for the first bit of it. (I love your blog btw!!)
Ask #5 ( @spn-wayward-destiel ): there’s this fic…#5
Umm do you know that A/B/O fic where AlphaCop!Dean goes checks a robbery at a... salon?? (Can't remember) in which Omega!Cas works at. They meet and is like love at first sniff ( 'cause of scents 😃 ) and the robber is a fellow coworker of Dean's in the police department. I'll be forever grateful if you can find it, even if don't. 😊
Check out our a/b/o tag
Ask #6 ( @dannidoo ): there’s this fic…#6
Help! I'm going absolutely crazy! I've been searching for this one fic I read a long time ago for hours and I've tried everything I can think of, and still no luck. The problem is that I don't remember much about it, like name or website, but here's what I do remember: It's a sort porn fic and it's about cas using his grace to make dean come from across the room. Cas and sam are researching something, and Dean is bored and obnoxious, on the motel bed. I think it's a first time fic also! Thanks!
Check out our porn and grace tags!
Found by @violue:
From Across the Room [NC-17, 3200 word count]
Cas discovers a new way of keeping Dean quiet.
Ask #7 ( @bluelinklover98 ): there’s this fic…#7
Hi! I um.. Ive been a part of the fandom for a while and, well, i read a fanfic once about cas being a russian assassin, dean was a cop. And gabriel was a hacker. But i had forgotten to bookmark it and now i cant find it anywhere! I dont remember much about it other then they were in a warehouse and cas visited dean in the hospital(i think) oh! There was a part where gabe used his computer to pour water on cas, anyway, if yall could help id greatly appreciate it ^-^;
Note - after we suggested Show Me How to Love (And I’ll Show You How to Live), OP answered with “ Thats not the one, but it looks interesting! I think the one im looking for only has one page. “
Ask #8 ( @themashingpumpkins ): lost fic…#8
(hope this is okay to ask! i read your faq and couldn't find anything on it) i was reading a supernatural highschool au a couple years ago and about a year ago i'd realized it had been deleted from ao3. it was called "Speak No Evil", and i've found the first four chapters on wattpad but other than that i've got nothing. i just wondered if anyone knows this fic or has it archived? it was my favorite and i had read it so many times! thanks for any help/tips (-:
Ask #9 (@casnovakwinters): lost fic ... #9
Hey I was wondering if you've heard of a fic called Good Weather for Airstrikes? I think it's a destiel fic I've been looking for for ages but can't find. I would appreciate any help if possible. Thank you!!
If any of our followers have anything to suggest, drop it in our ask box (mention which ask you are talking about by number or bolded title). If you don’t see your ask here, it is because we have quite a few in the inbox. Thanks!!
This is the last lost fic group ask before our summer hiatus. Our ask box will be closed soon, please do not send in new lost fic asks!!!
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an update
i know ive been on and off this year and lately, haven’t been active at all. ive been on the discord, probably less than before but definitely more on there cause it’s just an easy place to talk to people?? but basically my life has become very very busy, both with school/uni prep and just my social life and other things like my mental health which hoo boy has been a rollercoaster this year
atm im doing completely fine and don’t really want to die cause im on summer, but i have a lot of things to sort out and it’ll only continue when i go back and i just really don’t have the time to manage an esc blog during off season. plus tbh i feel like i don’t enjoy tumblr as much as i did before and that ive been on here cause i felt like i had to???
tldr until i sort out my shit and find motivation/time to update here or until esc 2018 season begins (but honestly after that..,,idk man), im gonna have to go on hiatus cause even without the motivation i still find going on my dash a distraction (ill be back for tmblrvision tho). if we’re mutuals that have talked you can ask for my discord and if you’re in the server im happy to chat there. thanks to all 5k+ of you for sticking around whether you came during esc 2017 or have been here since hetalia, or you’re a porn bot. ive had a lot of good times on this blog lmao ❤️❤️
#I was gonna post a q but I just dunno what I wanna post and it's messy#I do have another blog for an interest i keep to myself but that one will stay a mystery#if you find it pretend u didn't pls#I have#no idea how to word this lol so sorry it's a mess#also if we're friends and I've been quiet I'm not ignoring you just shit is going on
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Struggle Bus
The last few weeks have been absolute hell. Usually, I am trying to confide in my own written skills. This time, it is a little bit different. I don’t like putting my shit on Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat for that matter. However, twitter and tumblr is alright since I have less viewers. But, I’m reflecting more on life the more and more I think about it. Ohh well here it goes.
So the last few years, I have relapsed from Lupus back and forth. From all the weight gain, to losing weight, and also from all the switching on and off medications. Up until the last few months before I left for the Caribbean, my blood work was fine. My hematocrit was all normal and I was spilling less and less protein. I go on my summer hiatus and start working in the fall. No time for me to draw labs or anything. I finally get lab work done (In December) because it is usually my standing order to do every month, then all hell broke lose.
Beginning of January 2017, I’m getting calls from my rheumatologist and my nephrologist. Both of them are telling me that they want more lab samples (blood and other things) immediately. On my henry ford “my chart account,” I’m looking at the analysis of my blood work the past several months and there was a significant decrease in everything. The very next week, I went to go see my Nephrologist so they can gather more samples. They were informing me that my condition has become very serious. Lupus activity has invaded my body yet again.
Couple weeks ago around February 3rd, I get a call from my nephrologist telling me that I need to go in for a renal biopsy. (January 2009, was my last renal biopsy, making that 8 years ago. That test was the indicator for my diagnoses of Lupus). From what I remember, that test was absolute hell for me. I can’t be sedated for the procedure because I have to breath a certain way for the doctors to receive a specimen from me not once, but three times. Basically, try having a needle pierced through your back a few times. Not much anesthetics lol. Had to stay over night because my BP was through the roof *180/90′s to be exact. That was 8 years ago. Who knows how my body could of handled the procedure now at the age of 26.
Wednesday, February 8th
I go to the hospital 7am for the procedure at 7:30 am. Vicky accompanied me with all the compassion in the world. Sometimes, the look in her eyes indicated the fear of God. I couldn’t help but to feel fear as well. My mother who also works at the hospital (Henry Ford Detroit) got out of her 12 hour shift so she can spend extra time with me in the vascular access lab. She was more shook than Vicky. As i gazed upon her, you can see the slight trickle of tears down her face. I told her not to be sad, just pray for me...
I go in....once again enduring that hell of pain. I am 8 years stronger, and 8 years more experienced. However, it still doesn’t change the fact how nerve wrecking it is. The procedure could have been rendered useless had they not induced low BP medication into my bloodstream. My blood pressure was in the 170′s and they could not perform the procedure unless I was down to the 140′s. I almost had to reschedule. After about an hour and a half numbing my back and piercing a needle gun through my back, I was able to survive.
Ended up staying with Vicky at the hospital overnight since my hematocrit dropped a gram (1000 mg). It was nice to know my family was there and I have a great support system of friends. The next day, the head nephrologist (Dr. Faber) informed that I have a 3 week recovery timetable with no lifting or running which sucks ass because we are in the midst of Fast-D starting (currently one game in).
Last Thursday, the 16th...I talk to my nephrologist regarding my results. I am to undergo chemotherapy of cyclophosphamide via IV. along with 60 mg of steroids (prednisone) for 2 months..Hopefully less. Apparently there were lesions in my kidney that could of caused me to have kidney failure. Apparently, they caught it early. Thank God for that right? Still.....
I’m about to undergo treatment that is suppose to help cancer patients, and apparently people with autoimmune diseases as well. The doctor warned me that a lifetime induction of this medicine can induce cancer...so I’m at a dangerous crossroads.......Either find another option, or go through the aggressive treatment to put my disease in remission. This lasts for only 6 months..but a lot can happen in that time. I have so much going for me...I can’t fathom how other people go through this shit. I’ve been battling this disease for 8 years. I want to know God’s plan for me because I’m more afraid than I have ever been. Seeing my own family and girlfriend cry more than me gets me every time.
The other day, I looked at my dad and I have never seen the fear of god in him so clearly. He is such a strong man that you wouldn’t think that anything would emotionally break him. My mom being the worse case scenario advocate like she always is,....she inadvertently blames my mistakes in my past which don’t help me in the present.
Vicky-who is going through occupational therapy school (about to graduate) understands the changes in my life that I’m constantly making and although it maybe a battle for her, she chooses to persevere. I know with her and my family/friends, I’m never alone. But for some odd reason, I still feel that way.
I feel like I have no one to go too sometimes...These doctors are trying to help me, but can they really sympathize for me? Can they really understand what the patients go through? I’m questioning god’s purpose in my life because this is the only time where I don’t have answers. They always tell me that he may not be there when you need him, but he is always on time....I guess the only thing I can do is count my blessings.........
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