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firemenenthusiast · 5 days

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—“like earth orbiting the sun”

farleigh start x fem!reader

summary: farleigh start! who makes his girlfriend his entire personality.

content warning: sfw, sweet fluff all the wayyy, farleigh being down bad for reader. farleigh being sweet (rare), suggestive themes at the end but just a little bit

a/n: giggling, kicking my feet, rolling on the bed while writing this. farleigh just one chance pls

farleigh had always told himself and people around him that love’s a scam. he was taught that family are supposed to love each other. but after learning about what happened between his family and his mom, why should he believe in such thing ? after they hurt his mom in the name of love ? he refused to believe in such thing. until he felt it himself.

-ever since he’s fallen for you he’s willing to use all of the love he has on you. ever since you show up into his life its like his earth stopped orbiting the sun and started orbiting you instead. you’re his new-found love. but farleigh’s still the same old farleigh who’s too proud to say it. so he shows it instead. you understood long ago that his love language is act of service that he only does for you. anyone else that wants him to do something out of his will can fuck off. so he said.

“you’re going out again ?” you swiftly turn to face your roommate sitting on her bed, folding her clothes rather messily. she couldnt care less if theyre not stacked symmetrically, just wanted to have the mountain of unfolded clothes out of her chair. “of course, its friday night! aren’t you ?” you cheerfully say as your hands busy putting on the earrings you’d picked out earlier. “is that new ?” she asks, eyes squinting in an attempt to have a closer look before getting up to actually take a look. “-and no, i’d rather stay in. wow these are pretty- if they ever go missing best bet that’s me”. you hold still as she examines the newly bought earrings before chuckling at her joke. “yeah, farleigh saw them when he was walking around town” you hear her groan before plopping herself down onto her bed. you giggle at her response. “im sorry! i promise to not mention his name anymore” you raise both your hands to surrender before letting out a laugh.

you couldn’t blame her, you’d be annoyed too. its always farleigh this, farleigh that. farleigh bought me this, farleigh bought me that- and you love him for that. always letting you in on stuff. he tells you everything too. thanks to him, you can atleast watch out for those people he’d gossip about, so you dont get into their mess. if it wasn’t for him you wouldn’t know anything. you’re not the type to hop around searching for gossips but you love hearing about them, then fueling his gossips with your insults. in that sense you’re fit for each other, and you’re happy to have your own personal source of campus gossip. “do i look okay ?” you take one last look at your reflection in the bodysized mirror hung on the wall, smoothing out your casual dress. nothing too sexy or uncomfortable, you just wanted to chill and have some drink. “you look absolutely gorgeous like always m’darling” your roommate teases you before giggles erupt between the two of you. “where are you going anyways? need your location” she asks, not bothered to look as she’s more focused on folding a tshirt.

“the pub- like always. farle-“ his name almost slip your tongue as you receive a warning look from your roommate. you widen your eyes as you mouth an ‘okay’ before saying, “well he, who shall not be named- invited me. wants me there, he said” she rolls her eyes. “he always wants you EVERYWHERE” “bet you’re there when he goes shopping for new underwear”. she jokes. you look at her with your head cocked to the side, confused. her jaw drops as she points at you “oh my gosh, you’ve totally done that !” she gives you the most dramatic mind blown look ever “is that not normal ?” “fucks sake its not !” you shrug at her, not caring for her going ballistic. it’s not like you’re always there with him anywhere. shit, are you ?. you cant help but give it a quick thought. well you sometimes have classes buildings away from each other, so no, you think. a normal response for someone in denial. making sure you’ve put everything you need in your purse, you blow your roommate a kiss before waving her bye bye to which she jokingly shoos you away

the pub’s busier than other nights with it being the weekend and all but mostly because you and farleigh’s friendgroup members are all bunched up together tonight. courtesy of felix offering to cover every round of drinks. who would pass up on an offer like that ? you’re approaching the bar, lips letting out singsongs as your fingers play with the new earring on your right earlobe. farleigh had offered to walk you from your dorm but you declined, telling him to save you a seat instead. so he did just that. also because its just a 5-minute walk or so. the atmosphere in the pub getting thick as he’s getting antsy waiting, almost barking at his friends who tried to sit in the seat designated for you by him. “that’s for my girlfriend you dumb” he told them. as felix walks towards the table at which they’re all circled around, farleigh’s head cocks seeing the pub’s door being pushed from outside. he almost jumped out his seat seeing that it’s you. “there she is !” he exclaims, he’s quick to get you at the door. everyone else cheers seeing you walk with your hand in farleigh’s, fingers intertwined.

as soon as you’re both seated he has his hand around your waist, resting at your thigh. “how was the walk ?” he asks, his nose almost nudging yours. you lean in to give him a quick kiss before nodding, “it was nice, a little breezy” you told him without giving it a second thought. he quickly took off his knitted cardigan-like sweater to drape it over your shoulders. you giggle at his reaction, you didn’t think he’d react that way as you weren’t trying to imply that you were cold. as he is admiring your pretty face, he notices the shiny thing on your earlobe. “is that—“ his hand reach up to touch the earrings, a huge smile appears on your face before nodding. “wanted to show you. you pick the prettiest things for me. maybe i should bring you when i shop for jewelries” its been long since you last went jewelry shopping. probably since you started dating him cuz he always buy you shiny things that he’d stumble upon. he spends a lot of time looking to pick the prettiest among them. he would buy them all but he thinks that it would only show that he’s lazy. he wants you to know how much he loves you and the time he spends picking them out shows it.

farleigh would go absolutely feral whenever there’s like a bazaar on campus where students set up their businesses’ booths cuz that means there will be girls selling their handmade jewelries. he thinks they’re so pretty that it would be a waste if they’re not being worn by you. bazaars happen maybe a couple times a year and the girls already know him cuz he spends the longest time looking at their rings, necklaces and earrings trying to pick out something for you. the first time he came by the booth they thought he was gonna insult them, maybe say things like ‘aren’t you too old to be making bracelets?’ or call their handmade pieces ugly. they tried to avoid him until he picks one of them up without saying anything, taking a closer look before handing them one that caught his eyes the most. one of the girls gathered all her courage to ask him who was he thinking of buying the stuff for and he proudly said “its for my girlfriend, she loves handmade jewelries” as they nod at his answer he started going on and on talking about you, stuffs you’re interested in so they can help pick out what would suit you best. “—yeah she’s in class right now, wouldn’t want her to know im here. want to suprise her with these. she’ll go wild” a grin plastered across his face imagining your reaction. sometimes its tmi for the girls but they dont care, they think its the sweetest.

farleigh doesn’t necessarily think buying you the most expensive things is the best way to show his love, its just as long as he’s poured much thought into his gifts. he fixates on thinking whether or not you’ll love the gifts he thinks of buying you and if you probably won’t, he’ll find something else.

“they’re only pretty when you wear them. you make them look pretty” he whispers into your ear before taking your hand into his. he lean in to kiss you before pulling away just to kiss you again. and again. he rubs circles on the back of your hand with his thumb before looking back up at you. you’re getting all giddy from the attention he’s giving, your cheeks heating up. “yo guys— if you want to do romance maybe get a room” you hear one of his friends yell from across the pub. he flips him off before saying, “why were you looking at us anyways, loser ?” farleigh’s quick to rebut as the others’ reactions fill the room. he gives the guy a disgusted look before looking back at you, who is smiling. “sorry baby, would you like your usual ?” you nod before he gets up to go get your signature drink that you always have everytime you’re here. you’re not really into the heavy stuffs so he doesn’t force you to do them. he only does that to oliver.

apart from saving your seat, picking out jewelries for you and always getting you your drink to make sure it’s safe in his hands, he always want you with him everywhere he goes. just like your roommate had told you. he doesn’t care if he has to walk all the way across a field or a hallway to get to your classes, he’ll make sure he’s waiting outside for you by the time you’re finished so he could have you beside him everywhere he goes. and you dont care following him around. sometimes its just meaningless walks around campus but you’re happy as long as he’s with you. you’re his bestest friend. his home. he’d be telling you jokes as he walks, getting in front of you to make big movements to accompany his storytelling like he’d never run out of energy. like you’re his source of energy. you would give him the best reactions to his stories and gossips and he‘d fall even more in love with you if that’s even possible

he was already quite famous on campus before dating you, but now almost literally everyone knows the both of you as THE couple. he would casually mention you everywhere he goes when you’re not with him, which is probably only the times when you have different classes. and you’re always with him too. the cafeteria, the pub, the field (he loves picnics with you), his homeroom, your homeroom, the random benches along the building, the hallways. its always the two of you. somehow you never got sick of each other probably cuz he’s nice to you. sure, there are times he’d accidentally lash out on you about something that got to him but he’s quick to make it up to you. he couldn’t imagine not having you everywhere with him. his buddies have all grown accustomed to you now, unlike the first few weeks when he started dating you. they got soo annoyed everytime farleigh brought you to hang out with them. he’s always out and about telling them like, “my girlfriends coming later” or “gotta wait for my girlfriend first” before actually hanging out with them. they were irritated cuz you weren’t as fun before, back when you were just being introduced to them. bros before hoes they’d told him. farleigh made sure to let them know you’re not just some ‘hoe’ and after that they’re basically pretty chill with you as soon as they realised you’re just like farleigh, but in female form. you get along with them and their convos just as well as farleigh. so they dont mind you tagging along anymore

its becoming his whole personality, dating you. its always you before all else. sentences like, ‘cant, gotta go get my girlfriend’ or ‘my girlfriend would love this’ or ‘the other day my girlfriend-‘ and ‘did you know ? my girlfriend-‘ are converging into his daily dictionary. you, are just the same. always mentioning him in everything because you do everything with him. like it or not the story’s gonna involve him cuz he was there. or it happened to him. or he was the one who told you. the two of you set the dating standards so high that the girls only want what the both of you have when it comes to relationships. cuz the both of you made it possible, you’d become the couple everyone put their trust in love in.

you let out a laugh joining the others at something farleigh had said before taking a sip of the drink he brought you earlier. he has his one hand around your waist, grabbing your hand and the other on the table, near your drink, holding a lit ciggie in between his index and middle finger. he offers you a smoke to which you lean in. he holds the cig for you, watching you pull a puff before taking a puff himself. he closes the distance between you, leaning in to blow the smoke into your mouth, shotgunning.

the swirls of smoke mixing yours before he kisses you, deep. one of his favourite things to do with you. his hand that was holding your hand reaches into the hem of your dress, teasingly playing with it. he grins as his eyes bore into yours, tongue poking at the inside of his cheek. you giggle at his fingers dragging along your thigh, tickling you. he nudges his nose against yours before getting up, gently pulling at your hand. you follow him as you giggle, already knowing where this is going. he pulls your hand, walking towards the door before saying, “ciao everyone, and you-“ he’s pointing at the dude yelling at you guys earlier,

“-thank you for your suggestion” he chuckles as the whole room roar in mixed reactions. safe to say your poor roommate slept alone that night.

taglist: @june-ebgert @radioloom @themoonchildwhofell @love-me-pls @imjustheretoreadsmuthaha @fuckshitslover @szapizzapanda @khxna

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ateriblewriter · 11 months

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"You can't just lose your temper like this every time you get a little bit upset!" With Luke Hughes please

😊 I hope this is okay, i feel as though i could have done better. its kinda messy. idk. sorry. first time really writing for luke. it's longer than the others blurbs for the celly but I was challenging myself. 😅

A Broken Glass

he was supposed to be better this season. better than the child he felt he was in the few games he played in at the end of the prior season. he made sure to put in the work over the summer, improving upon an already impressive skill set. but it still wasn't good enough.

luke was having a bit of a hard time recently, making mistakes that were in his words stupid and should never have happened. getting himself into trouble on the ice, uncharacteristic actions set off by the littlest things. he had been putting a lot of pressure on himself and instead of being better he was getting worse.

everything came to a head on a tuesday evening after the devils had lost again and luke gave another lackluster performance. once again on the brink of being benched for someone else who could perform at the caliber they were looking for.

jack had decided to seek the comfort of another human being, having gone over to their place for the evening. this left the whole place to just you and luke. which was great because you finally wanted to pick your boyfriends mind about how he was feeling about everything recently.

“are you okay?” you inquire watching him.

"i'm fine." he scowled.

"do you want to talk about it?" you ask starting to ramble. of course you didn't believe him and just because he shut you down right away didn't mean you were going to stop trying to get him to say more than a few words to you. "because you really should at some point. im worried about you. you don't even have to talk to me. is it the team? is it something im doing? is it-"

"just go away." luke interrupted you. he was so in his head, he didn't notice the glass he had been holding, slip from his hand and crashing to the ground. luke wasn't necessarily mad. he was mainly just frustrated with his situation and really didn't like talking about it. the way he showed it may not have been the best way.

you're too shocked for words at the glass on the floor, opting to crouch down to clean up the little pieces of glass from the broken cup instead of using your words. you tried to be as careful as you but while brushing the tiny bits together with the back of your hand, a little piece embedded itself in between you index finger and middle, causing it to bleed a lot.

you could feel luke rolling his eyes, frustration still radiating off of him. he was looking for an argument. you heard him mumbling something but couldn't really tell what was said.

"what was that? you need to speak up."

"i said that you don't understand the pressure i am under. i am supposed to be better. and i'm not. you wouldn't understand that. I'm not like you I just don't give up on my dreams."

"that's not true and you know it." you clench your teeth together, trying your hardest not to give into what he wanted, a fight. because luke knew you were an athlete and that you had big dreams of making it big. only to have them crushed by a devastating injury, that led you to pursue other dreams.

"you know what? call me when you want to actually talk and not start a fight." you grab your set of house keys to leave, the small cut in between your fingers still dripping little droplets of red stuff on the floor. you didn't want to be around him if he was going to act like that.

you didn’t go far that night. instead of going somewhere like a bar, you opted to go over to the neighboring apartment. where it just so happened that your best friend, since moving to jersey, lived. Of course she wasn’t home, but you still had a key and helped yourself to her couch for the rest of the night.

it wasn’t until the next morning that you started getting messages from jack. you hadn’t intended on responding to him but he seemed instant on talking, worried about his little brother and the girl who had become like a sister to him.

jack- where are you

jack- why is there glass on the floor and is that blood

jack- what happened dot

y/n- ask your brother

jack- he said you left

jack- what’s going on

you could have responded more to jack or you could just walked the few feet home and talk to him yourself. the later would most likely include seeing luke. you knew you'd have to talk to him eventually, why not rip the band-aid off now.

jack practically tackled you when you re-entered the apartment and luke was no where to be seen at that time. once he let you go, you told him all about what had happened the night before. he tried to reassure you that his brother was an idiot and that he didn't mean what he said.

"y/n? can we talk?” nodding you guide him over to the couch. "i'm sorry about last night. i shouldn't have said that. it wasn't nice."

"i know luke. but you can't just lose your temper like that every time your get a little bit upset." you cradled his head in your lap. you ran your fingers through the longer curls. "they are going to keep eating you alive if you do. and it'll only get worse."

"i know. it's just." it was hard for him to be this vulnerable, especially with you. but if he wanted to get past this bump in the road he was going to need to at times. "everyone is comparing me to them. and i try and be like them and im not."

"exactly. you're not like your brothers. you're luke. not quinn. not jack. you are luke. you need to play like luke. you need to be luke."

“how do i do that?” he turned his face to look up at yours. he still regretted his words and decisions from the night before. but he needed to find a way to find himself again and stop comparing himself to his family.

“i don’t know exactly lu. but we’ll figure it out together yeah?” you boop the tip of his nose with your finger eliciting a slight smirk and a head nod from him.

#luke hughes #luke hughes x reader #luke hughes blurb #nhl imagine #nhl blurb #nhl imagine #ateriblewriter 200 follower celly #yes I’m still writing these

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anonnwr1ter777 · 4 months

Text

Miscommunication

Hanahaki Disease AU!

jordan li x reader

-def a little oc jordan, i can’t imagine them saying some of this stuff but literally- for the plot 😝

readers gender isn’t really talked about in don’t thinkkkk and i couldn’t think of a better name so 😝 hope yall enjoy tho 🫡 also i don’t like using y/n so i’ll probably just use “___”

oh also i should mention that I don’t know the MOST about hanahaki disease i just remember reading a shit ton of imagines so i’m going off what i remember😭 if anything isn’t like accurate pretend it is 😚( but i was watching sleeping beauty and snow white while writing so im sure yall will see where that comes into this😝 ) also ik its not perfect but i hope it gives enough and doesn’t sound stupid😭<- i mean this in the sense that some parts kinda counteract each other but if we ignore that it’s pretty fye 🙌

Having to throw away another bloodied shirt was not on your to-do list for this morning, but here you are.

You first learned about your problem a couple months ago. Waking up after a night out with your friends to a strange feeling in your chest, almost like thorns.

When you told your roommate Cate about this, she pulled up ‘Hanahaki Disease’ on her phone and started to show you the symptoms and causes.

Of course you were in denial. In love with your childhood bestfriend? With Jordan? Not that it was a bad thing, who wouldn’t be in love with them? But you knew there was no way they would even like you back, the apparent thorns and flowers being grown just proves that.

—

“Hey freshie, coffee? I got your favorite” Jordan bumps your shoulder as you’re walking to class.

you know that you should probably try and distance yourself from them, try and make yourself fall out of love somehow. You just can’t.

You quickly snap back to the moment after realizing you’ve not responded.

“Jordan you can’t call me a freshman anymore, i’m a sophomore now”

“Oh you’ll always be my little freshman” They tease and put your coffee in your hand.

Immediately your chest starts to feel tight, you can feel the flowers start to creep up your throat.

Impeccable fucking timing

“So i was thinking, if you were down- We go with Andre and Cate and them to that one club we went to like a month ago-“ Jordan continues on as you start to zone out

You knew from the beginning you had no intention of telling Jordan about this, but you also knew that you spend way too much time with them to not be revealed to them at some point. But damn how would you ever be able to walk away from someone so-

“Are you even listening to me freshman?” Jordan stops you from walking, standing in front of you. “Huh? what? yes?” You snap out of your thoughts.

Jordan doesn’t say anything, instead the raise an eyebrow as if to say ‘then tell me’

“You were talking about the club yall dragged me to a month ago and how you wanna drag me back again” You look up at them as they switch from fem to masc.

“Okay maybe you were listening but!” They pause to take a sip out of their your drink. “That doesn’t change the fact that there is something going on in that head of yours” They poke a finger into your shoulder, an underlying tone of seriousness in their voice.

“Nothing is going on Li.” Even you didn’t believe your tone of voice.

“I know even you didn’t believe that” They grabbed your free hand, the situation turning a lot more serious.

“Hey Jordan, you know I always appreciate you for caring, but seriously I am fine!”

“Okay okay!” they put their hands up in defense, “You know I will always care” They flashed their smile and continued walking, hand still in your hand.

•~•

Cate dragged you out for lunch (to scold you the whole time) tired of your tired behavior in all of your classes. Cate was the only one who knew about your minor problem.

“Okay Cate i hear you, i swear!”

“All im saying is they like you back.” Cate tries to plead with you,

“Cate we both know they wouldn’t go for someone like me, i’m simply not their type; nothing is wrong with that”

“Yeah nothing wrong other than the fact it’s killing you” Cate rolls her eyes before continuing,

“Look, you know that’s not the case. They adore you.”

You let your head fall on the table dramatically, “Cate please-“

Cate grabs your hand, making you look at her.

“So disregarding the flowers growing in you, you’re going to deny you are in love with them?”

“Cate, they’re everything i’ve ever wanted, but i don’t want to risk loosing them as a friend”

Cate sends you a sympathetic smile before squeezing your hand, “I think you should just talk to them, maybe they’re hiding more than you think”

•~•

You couldn’t stop thinking about what Cate said. You decided you would just go ask them what’s up, maybe slip in a confession. Who knew?

After your last class of the day, you decided to go and find jordan.

As you were leaving your dorm, you remembered that Marie had lended you her hoodie a while back and decided to return it to her before going to Jordan’s dorm. Your love confession could wait.

You put your headphones on and made your way to her dorm.

You knocked when you arrived. Marie’s door wasn’t shut all the way so you invited yourself in.

At this exact moment you had wished you kept the jacket another day.

“Oh! __” Marie squeaked, pulling away from

jordan.

Jordan just looks at you, sending you a caught look.

It would be your luck that you walk in on them making out. You couldn’t do anything but stare at the scene in front of you as you dropped the jacket.

You felt like you were in a daze. This couldn’t be real? I thought they hated each other?

“oh my god” you breathed out, laughing in disbelief“I am so-“ “oh okay!” you had to take a moment, stumbling over your words was not keeping you discreet.

“I’m so sorry, here is your jacket Marie. um, have fun? i’m sorry again, okay bye!”

“Wait! __” You heard Jordan’s calls for you, but why in the hell would you stop? The flowers are feeling like they just got a big glass of fertilizer and you were 100% about to throw up.

Your steps increased, a speed away from running at this point.

“Jesus __, wait!!” Jordan grabs your wrist before you can speed up anymore, pulling you to face them.

“I really need to go jordan, you shouldn’t have left marie like that; that’s not nice” You mumble, looking at the floor.

“It really wasn’t what it looked like, you have- can you look at me?!” Jordan voices.

You look at jordan, currently in their female form. “Jordan please, you don’t have to explain anything to me. I really need to go”

“No you don’t, you didn’t have any plans today; you texted me that earlier when i asked.” They deadpanned.

Goddammit for smartphones

“Okay but now i do, bye!” You pull out of the grasp, just to be pulled back in by a stronger, larger hand.

“Listen we should really talk about-“

“We really shouldn’t! You don’t owe me any explanation!” you gag, feeling the blood and thorns start to reach your mouth. “Please just go back to marie, it’s not fair to leave her like that”

“__ Please-“ You cut jordan off by using your powers to remove their hand from yours, booking it to the nearest storage closet to throw up.

You’re so occupied with the flowers spilling out into your hands you don’t even hear Jordan come in.

“What the fuck?”

“Jord-“

“What the fuck?”

“please jordan, leave-“

Jordan comes to kneel beside you, gently grabbing at your hair to hold it back. “What is happening to you?”

“Nothing, please just-“

“__, please stop running from me, just let me in?” They use their sleeve to wipe your mouth free of blood. “You have been distant for a while now and i didn’t want to say anything because at the end of the day, if you were having a a problem you would tell me. Now you aren’t telling me anything, what is going on?”

Jordan helps you sit against the wall, standing up to take their jacket off as the room is silent.

“I have Hanahaki Disease.”

“Hana?- That unrequited love disease?” They stammered.

you nodded.

“For how long?”

“About four months ago”

“Jesus you’ve been dealing with this for four months? Well who’s the idiot who isn’t in love with you?”

Their comment would’ve been funny in a different scenario, but all you could do was look at them; eyes locked.

“You,” you mumbled

Jordan smiles down at you,,thinking- rather hoping you’re joking.

“That’s funny, who?”

“You’re the idiot jordan.”

“What?”

“I’m in love with you, head over heels i fucking guess.”

“no no no,” Jordan’s suddenly frantic, looking between you and the bloody flowers on the floor. “You can’t do this to me. Why would you do this?” They ask, eyes wide,stopping their pacing to meet your eyes.

You soften at their sudden change in behavior.

“Jordan, it’s oka-“

“It is not fucking okay!” They exclaim, coming to kneel down next to you. “What can I do?” they mutter, “Let me take you to the hospital, come on- please” They all but begged

“Jordan, please” You start, before the coughing attacks start up again, a white-bloodied rose falling into your hand. You swallow and meet Jordan’s remorseful eyes.

“It’s not your fault, you can’t pick who you fall in love with”

“But why did you have to fall in love with me?”

“how could i not jordan?!” you try to deflect instead of going on to list the multiple reasons you’re in love with them. “I never expected you to love me back. I mean I didn’t think this would happen, but I can’t control my feelings”

It’s quiet in the room. You observe Jordan as they look at the floor, their bob covering half of their face.

“This isn’t fair.” Jordan muttered, standing up “You’re selfish”

“Selfish?” you mimicked, using the wall assist you in standing up. “It’s unfair of you to call me selfish for my-“

“It’s selfish because it’s not true” Jordan snapped.

You blinked at them.

“Not true? Jordan i’m so in love with you i’m literally throwing up flowers, so what in the whole hell do you mean?”

“People don’t just fall in love with me, you don’t just fall in love with me” Jordan spat and met your eyes.

You’re taken aback by their tone, as if you aren’t literally growing flowers in your lungs and throat. You knew it was rumored that Jordan could be a little mean but you’ve never really seen it till now.

“Okay Jordan this is obviously too much for you to handle, you weren’t even supposed to see this- you weren’t even supposed to find out!” You began to make your way to the door, feeling your chest get tight again and not wanting to deal with this.

“..you weren’t gonna tell me?”

You turn around and meet their eyes.

“No jordan of course I wasn’t gonna tell you. I’d rather have you as a friend then not have you at all”

“So you were just gonna keep this to yourself? Die in silence?” they swallow. “If i didn’t follow you in here, would i ever have known?”

You look down; not exactly proud of what you’re about to say.

“Worse case scenario I asked cate to make sure you never found out about it.” You confessed.

“___, what the fuck?” Jordan scoffed out in shock, “Okay now that is fucking selfish.”

It might’ve seemed selfish to them, but if you were in their shoes you wouldn’t want the guilt of not being able to love someone back.

“Jordan, please stop calling me selfish! Nothing about what i’m saying is selfish” you breathe,

“Did you really want cate to come up to you and say “oh yeah ___ died because they stupidly feel in love with someone who could never love them back!”, Yeah jordan i bet that would’ve made you feel real peachy!” You snapped.

Once again the room falls to silence, and you fight back the tears waiting to drop.

“God, see Jordan this is why I didn’t want to say anything. I didn’t want to argue with you like this. I don’t expect you to lov-“

“But I do love you!” They cut you off, coming closer to you.

You think Jordan can see your demeanor change by the way their eyebrows scrunch

“Don’t say that jordan, you can’t love me out out pity. Don’t love me out of pity.”

Jordan goes to say something before you interrupt them, you deny the fact your chest felt a little lighter at their statement.

“that’s not fair. I have been content with you not loving me back, do not start lying now please. Please, I want us to go back to how we were before this ever happened; before you ever knew”

They stared at you. Their facial expression evident that they were trying to find the right words.

“Look __, I might not know how to navigate this love thing but I know every time I see you my chest feels tight and i can’t look at you for too long or i want to drop everything im doing to take you and show you just how much i want you. Of fucking course i love you? You’ve been my friend forever, you’ve been the one here for me when no one else was.”

They step closer to you. “Don’t tell me that i’m not in love with you when i have spent years distracting myself with other people just so i wouldn’t have to face the fact that you didn’t like me back.”

“Jordan-“

“No just listen okay?”

You nod.

“I’ve never loved anyone like i love you, and i don’t know what the science is behind the”They gesture to your chest and then to the floor where the bloodied flowers lay, “but you’ve got to believe me ___. Ever since my mom forced me to play at the park with you. Ever since you yelled at my dad for being an asshole.” Their last comment made you both laugh a little, recalling the memory.

You wanted to believe them so bad, but why were the flowers there in the first place? if they loved you so much, why were the flowers growing.

“but if you loved me so much, why did you sleep with all those other people? why did you kiss marie?” Your voice small as it was your turn to step closer to them.

“I would rather have you as a friend than not have you at all” They say, mimicking your words from earlier. “I didn’t know how to tell you, so i resorted to distractions”

You study their face, searching for any hint of insincerity you suppose.

You also take this moment to observe how close you are to them, and how your chest and lungs feel lighter.

But this can’t be? Sure you didn’t do extensive research to your disease, but every time you seen something about it; it said it was fatal. So why don’t you feel like you’re being played? like you’re going to throw flowers up at any given moment? You feel your eyes start to water, suddenly feeling very overwhelmed.

“__?” Jordan said softly, grabbing ahold of your arms to pull you in closer to them. “Talk to me, tell me what’s going on.”

“I’m scared. I want to believe you, half of me does believe you; but i’m just scared. All of the little research ive done said this is fatal, i don’t want to die now that i know you like me too?” the tears in your eyes made Jordan want to figure out how to get these stupid flowers out of you themselves.

Jordan wipes at your tears and wraps you in a hug, kissing you on your forehead. “If it is fatal, i’ll spend every last second making up for the years lost.”

You half sob half laugh into their embrace. “Were you always this cheesy Li?”

“just for you”

“oh my god” You laugh and sniffle, pulling out of their arms to face them.

“I really do love you.” They smile.

“I really believe you now.” You smile back.

You felt how you imagined every main character in a cheesy romcom felt as you realized you were about to kiss.

The kiss lasted no longer than 10 seconds before you pulled away to cough. You coughed out what you felt was one of your lungs. Instead it was a bloodied small stem, with a couple different petals around it.

“Is that a.. stem?” Jordan wipes your mouth with the same sleeve, eyes bouncing between you and the floor.

“my chest feels so light? Like it almost feels normal?”

“Did we just have a fucking sleeping beauty moment?” Jordan asks making you laugh in disbelief. “I want to say no?”

“Okay we will get you to the doctors tomorrow, but right now i want to take my girlfriend to my dorm.”

“Girlfriend?”

“If you’ll let me be your partner?”

“of course i would, wouldn’t go through four months of dying every time you were nice to me just to say no!” you tease with a smile.

“well i think we should kiss again just to make sure your lungs are really clear.”

“Dude, my mouth is still bloody. If you let me go brush my teeth 3 times, we can kiss till we are positive my lungs are clear.

“Okay well go freshman? don’t see any point of waiting around in this storage closet. Come on!” They usher you out with a sly smile on their face.

You didn’t think this is how this was going to end. You never expected to find out that the person you’re in love with shares the same feelings, and you definitely didn’t expect that all it would take to save your life is a little bit of communication.

//—//—//—//—//—//————————//

I hope u guys enjoyed this LOLL it took me so long but i locked in and finished it in like 3 hours😭

i didn’t proof read don’t kill me

but i still hope you enjoyed it and if you’re an maladaptive daydreamer like me, i hope this gave you fuel for scenario 😚😚

#jordan li #jordan li x reader #genv #jordan li x you #jordan li imagine #starwrites🤩

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anittam · 4 days

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ToT Theory: We Already Passed The Prologue, We Just Didn't Realized It

Hi, nerds! I been on a break from playing tears of themis, bc for a while it stopped being a game I enjoy playing and started feeling more and more like a chore, but recently I started playing again, so I think I will start posting again, so yeah.

Yesterday when I got home from work, instead of my brain helping me relax, it kept bombarded me with abstract and useless concepts, preventing me from sleeping, and just like that, this theory was born.

Warning: Crack theory (I meant it), and spoilers.

I have no clue of how long you been playing tot, but let me tell you something, early game tot fandom were fighting for the lives, because of the game's prologue, that shit was crypted (I not sure if I used this right) as fuck, for no good reason. Trust me when I say, people were losing iq points trying to get some sense out of this.

So many theories were made, some saying that vyn was the villian, rosa was a traitor or amnesiac, stuff like that, but what most theories had in common was that the prologue happend somewhere in the future of the game, that eventually we would do a full circle and go back to the begining of the game.

So here is my sleep deprivation theory on this subject, the prologue happended somewhere between the blossom chapter 4 and the first year anniversary.

Hear me out, at this point of the game I fully I believe that the dream sequence was really a dream, and not a trance vision. Rosa, our sweet sweet Rosa, just received love confessions from her four good male friends, and she doesnt know what to do, she is overthinking and overanalyzing trying to decide who she should chose, because she likes all four of them in a romantic way. She is thinking about it so much that she even started dreaming about it.

In the dream sequence, she sees the boys, Luke, Artem and Marius, and its connection with them, being represented by 3 objects.

If you paid attention to the blossom chapters, you would realize that thoses objects where thing that represents Rosa getting closer to them, by the way, all of those objects where introduce in the first blossom chapter (I think is because the writes just had a general ideia of the way the story would go so they just putted there in the beginning so they wouldnt have to think to much about them). The 3 objects were, luke's box, which is a central point to his personal story, a painting Marius gifted Rosa, and a bouquet Artem sended to Rosa (I know the flower is not the same, but the change is to represent Rosa's feelings at that moment).

These 3 things, although important in helping Rosa and the ones she loved build a strong relationship, it also brings her sorrow because of her indecision. Because she cant possibly love four people at the same time, thats insane, and cruel on them.

But anyway, after that she sees herself in vyn's office, and he say some weird shit, which phrase referring to one of the boys.

Luke: he talks about the chest of memories, rosa spent 8 years think about luke, what she did wrong, why he abandoned her, just for him to throw some bullshit excuse at her, in luke's first bithday card, Rosa say that she hated luke, but she cant stop loving him. But since he came back, she started to learn more and more about him, and his new life, and she is not exactly thrilled. When it come to she and Luke, there are trust issues, that are very hard to overlook, but they learn to work it out.

Marius: he talks how Rosa pretends to be okay and she is not, and that my friends is a recurring theme in their relationship. And not only her, but Marius is the same, they are constantly trying to not let the other know whats going on, they put on this facade of "im fine, dont worry" which just let the other more concerned. They have communication problems, but as the story they learn to be more open, and properly communicate their needs and concerns.

Artem: this part is the most used in "Rosa is a traitor" theories, because vyn talks about standing by your convictions but betraying your heart. And seeds of this happening was already presented in cannon storyline and in the Artem's personal story, in chapter 3 of the cannon story, Rosa strongly believes that the law is wrong, because if mother killed to save their child, they shouldnt be punished. And Artem's blossom chapter 2, Rosa wants to go against her clients wishes and push her to put her husband to trail for domestic abuse. In both scenerios, Rosa show herself to be a very closed mind person, and if she thinks somethinf is right, she would stand by it to the very end, what ends up causing friction between her and Artem. But in the end she give up her ideials, to do the "right thing", and that is her greatest conviction, doing what is right, she doesnt always agree, and sometimes she gets hurt in the process, but she done right nonetheless. Alternatively, it could also mean, think she has to choose one boy, even if she likes all four.

And after that she start feeling overwhelmed, she is in pain, and vyn makes her go to sleep again.

Now, what about vyn? What is his part in all of this? Since they barely touched on the hypnosis subject on the game, we could link this to one other moment in the game, in vyn's blossom chapter 4, Rosa witness vyn hypnotizing a pacient to help her realize that the one she loved was only using her, which left an impact on Rosa. Maybe her subconscious thought that such practice would help her decided which boy she should choose, but that didnt help her, just left her more confused.

And then she woke up. Without having her response, and still not knowing who to pick.

And this is my theory.

#tears of themis #luke pearce #rosa tot #vyn richter #marius von hagen #artem wing #tot mo yi #tot vyn #tot artem #tot marius

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stainedstardom · 1 year

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My girl quinn needs more love. So here I am here again with a idea but it's also like a Ethan x reader ( I'm sorry i love both of these siblings)

So the Reader is a person who keeps to theirselves not really bothering anybody, so its like probably midnight ( 2:30) the reader is trying to sleep so then like Ethan and Quinn show up as Gf then like the reader is like " what the fuck.. " so the two siblings started fighting over something that reader don't know about then Quinn said "you have to fucking chose one of us" like the reader is confused until they finally take off the Gf mask the reader is refusing because like it would hurt the reader to make a choice

And the reader is crying because like their don't want to choose

I don't know 😭 I'm sorry I can't think of a ending to this

i love this idea

CHOOSE

quinn bailey x fem!reader (endgame) , ethan bailey x fem!reader

theyre siblings but your best friends. your only two best friends, you don't talk to the others, they don't fit you or the way you act or think. you don't hate them, you just tend to like to be on your own and keep to yourself.

its 2:30 in the morning, you were trying to sleep but you physically couldn't, however your eyes were closed, your breathing was shallow and to anyone who walked in it would like you were asleep.

next thing you knew the door slammed and you hummed as you turned to see quinn and ethan in their ghostface costume

"what the fuck?" you said and quinn sighed

"fuck look you woke her up ethan" she said and ethan scoffed

"me? youre the one who slammed the door open" he retorted

"well if you didnt shove me into the door I wouldn't have slammed it open" she replied

"if you wouldnt have pissed me off, I wouldn't have shoved you" he said and next thing you knew, there was a jumble of words

"okay what the fuck is going on?" you interrupted and quinn turned to you as she took off her mask and ethan did the same, there were their faces staring at you as you stared at them.

"you need to choose" she stated and you froze

"im sorry, what?" you asked

"god damn it quinn, youre confusing her" ethan exclaimed

"shut up ethan, look you need to choose y/n. me or ethan?" she said and you sighed

"what is going on?" you asked

"we both love you like more then we should, we both like you more then a friend and you need to choose. me or ethan" she stated

"where is this coming from?" you questioned

"its been a thing for a while now but I think we're both tired of waiting" ethan stated and you nodded. you loved them both, sure one of them more then the other and you loved one of them in the friend way and the other in the other way.

"im sorry ethan but i dont like you like that" you told him and he nodded, it hurt him

"can we still be friends?" he asked

"oh e of course we can, i wouldn't want anything else" you exclaimed and he nodded as he walked out of your dorm and quinn turned to you

"you chose me?" she asked and you nodded as you got up from your bed and walked over to her

"I chose you" you told her and she leaned in and kissed you as you kissed her back softly. she walked you to your bed and pushed you down onto it as she climbed onto you.

you had to choose and you did.

A/N: i had to do quinn because she deserves more love and i have too much of ethan. i couldn't write the crying part but more because I feel like if its x reader and a specific character then it should be easier for the reader to choose instead of crying

#quinn bailey #quinn bailey x reader #quinn bailey x you #quinn bailey x y/n #liana liberato #scream 6 #scream fanfic #scream #scream 6 x reader #scream 6 smut

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maochira · 1 year

Note

hi hii! i love ur sibling fics so much, if its okay can i request how older brother!nagi would react when reader gets sad after a fight?? u can ignore this if u want!! anyways thank you so much for ur family fics, it comforted me so mucj and makes me feel so loved </3 i feel like im healing my sibling issues lol, have a good day/night!!

Hi anon thank you very much!! Writing all the family stuff is helping me heal from personal stuff as well, so I love to write for these requests <3

Requests are open!

Masterlist and request rules

Tags: gn!Nagi!reader, big brother!Sheishirou Nagi, hurt/comfort kind of but not really idk

-you don't fight with Seishirou that often, but whenever you do, it's about your household chores

-you live together and your parents travel pretty much all the time, so any household work is yours and Seishirou's task

-but Seishirou is very lazy, so you always have to keep bothering him until he does his chores or will at least do them with you together. But at some point, you're so fed up with his laziness, you start fighting with him

-it's very frustrating because Seishirou doesn't seem to understand how bothering his laziness actually is to you, and how not getting chores done is stressing you out

-you're so frustrated, you storm off into your room where you cry your frustration out

-Seishirou doesn't think much of the fight, he thinks it'll pass by soon and not be a thing anymore. But when he walks past your room and hears you sob into your pillow, he realizes he should have taken you more seriously earlier

-Seishirou feels bad and thinks about what to do. He feels like it's wrong to go into your room now to talk, so instead, he looks at the list of chores that should be done this week and tries to do some of them

-most of those chores are rather quiet, so you don't notice anything. But when you hear the vacuum cleaner, you're a bit surprised and go to look for Seishirou

-when he sees you, he tries to apologize, but he doesn't really know what to say, so he just says "I'm sorry" over and over and hugs you

-you're still a bit sad, but feel way better when you see how much effort he put into doing those few chores, especially because he's usually so lazy

-even after that, Seishirou has a hard time getting himself to do his chores, so you start doing almost all of them together instead. It motivates him a little more and he also wants to prevent making you cry again

#blue lock #bllk #blue lock nagi #seishirou nagi #seishiro nagi #nagi seishirou #nagi seishiro #bllk x you #bllk x reader #blue lock x you #blue lock x reader #blue lock headcanons #bllk headcanons #bllk scenarios #blue lock scenarios

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n0bluev · 3 months

Text

Somehow, im inspired to write that 'revision fic'. === (EDIT : u can skip but heres another snippet for u (3 separate bits that fit together nicely, actually haha) cuz hihi. THE AU: As i said, its a failed "3"rd regression context, where yjh is now in his "4"th round. The last memory he has of kdj is him dying, and to make things worse "In this round, that guy doesn't exist." is a thing, so yjh freaks out a bit but hes totally normal about this whole ordeal & the fact that he doesnt even remembers kdj's face now. Wdym! Hes fiiiiiine!

sorry lol back to the actual post : (,hope u enjoyed that little treat tho^^)) ===

!!THAT [Somehow, im inspired to write [...]] HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE!!. I always like. do an outline for the overall story and vibe, then flesh out the start or something and cook up a little 500 (probably unsatisfying) words for fun kind of as a bonus. Keep it mostly for my private enjoyment and move on before the story comes to life. And that's okay... Yes, it would be cooler to actually write the AU ideas i get in novel or comic form instead of having them stay at just the 'sketch' & 'idea/brainstorm' phase before i get another idea and leave them to dust up in the pile,,

But yeah, its okay.

In the few years since ive started getting ideas for more elaborate aus/fics, ive noticed that my ideas improved with time. (no shit, i know, but it makes me happy! i grew up!!! i can see it.) My planning methods are better too. So all of that unfinished or abandoned stuff is not at all useless work in my eyes. And who knows, maybe one day i'll bring them back.

--> as a plus, all my fandom brainrot experiences even get transferred into my OC stuff, and frl whenever i read my notes these days (or listen to my voice memos lol) and im just like "HOW DID I THINK OF THIS WOW" or "WHEN DID I PUT THIS LIKE THIS? IT WORKS!" (not to brag or anything but my oc lore goes hard ☝️)

BUT. NOW THIS IS UNEXPECTED.

I DID NO PLANNING. I just started writing for orv and its. Lowkey, good ???? Dont get me wrong i only have 1.5k right now and there are clear holes i have to fill and stuff but... CLEAR HOLES! CLEAR HOLES. Sure Im used to being like "something of the sort should go there..." BUT THIS TIME ITS "THIS SHOULD GO THERE, ILL WRITE IT LATER BUT THE IMAGE IS IN MY MIND, CLEAR AS WATER, AND ONCE I START PUTTING IT ON THE PAGE ISTG THOSE WORDS WILL STREAM OUT OF MY FINGERS AS IF IT WAS A NORMAL OCCURENCE FOR ME" ,,- !??? Yo!

Anyways. Point is that somehow theres interesting stuff going on in my gg doc and the more i write the more i know where i want to go, so that's cool, i feel all powerfull for once

idk if that ease is going to stay once im done with the first scenes (ughh!!! theres so much potential!!!!!!!!) but hopefully yes. either way ill probably post it so im not baiting yall with a "um actually im writing smt rn --- *never shares with the class*" --- either 1) things go well and i write a "real fic" (!? wtf that wasnt my plan!) --- or 2) i only post the finished version of what i have now (expect around 5k? (i have no idea actually)) and we wait together to see if i pick up the idea again haha. (i do wish to write it tho! im not a 'writer' writer but i want to be one, u get me?)

! thank u see u byebye

#orv fic #orv au #nhoblu narration #(<- thats gonna be my all encompassing AU-FIC-OCS lore n stuff tag now ive decided hehe)#next step is to make an art tag (another day lol. ill make a post :3)#orv #전독시 #전지적 독자 시점 #omniscient reader's viewpoint #writing

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actualbird · 5 months

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I guess I'll call myself 🔥 anon??? Idk lol. I changed my writing style with that first ask, but whatever. This is important, so who cares.

Anyway, I get it. I come from a family of artists and academics and teachers. My childhood dreams were to be a painter, a marine biologist, or someone super smart with a well-paying job. After that, in high school, my dream was just ATAR. Get a good ATAR score. Be good at learning and be told, "Yeah, you could go to university."

It's a year or so after that goal was set. I'm moving down to general classes and doing things I love more. My business cert is no longer there just to say "I have a certificate", it's because the teacher is one of the nicest teachers I've ever met and I like the class. Take IT because it's easy. Do human biology because you think the immune system is fun. I'm younger than you, sure, but one of the best things I've learned is exactly what that old saying says.

"Jack of all trades, master of none

but better than a master of one."

I'm having the time of my life. Will I end up getting higher education? Probably. Because I want to. Is it okay if I drop a course halfway through and never pick it up again? Is it okay if I have to ask teachers to slow it down?

Totally.

You don't have to be good at school to be good. I'm awful at it, and gifted kid burnout destroyed my life for a while. But I have friends and family who love me, and slowly, I'm learning to love myself, too.

I wish you all the best.

hi again fire!anon i

fully teared up reading this JKHSVJFHDKSDFKJSD

you might be younger but my gosh youre a whole lot wiser than i was when i was at uni age.

youre right and i agree with everything you said. i guess im just still stuck in that weird portion you mentioned of set academic/career goal -> set academic/career goal -> set academic/career goal that now that im in a place where i can start wanting things that are a bit more outside of the usual goals i had before. it's scary as fuck!!! i wish somebody could just tell me what to do instead!!! but i absolutely believe in the essence of doing things because you love them

while im not in class anymore, im a notorious hobby hopper. i learned how to crochet for funsies and i dont anymore but i still loved doing it, i have on and off durations of being obsessed with origami, i keep wanting to learn basic html for website building but keep putting it off because im worried im not smart enough to be able to handle it but honestly, when i have the time and motivation, i should just do it.

im like you in the sense that gifted kid burnout also ruined my life a bit, i think it uh....still is up til now, probably, judging by how badly 90% of my life's decisions are still made on the basis of whether or not i can get A Good Grade At Task HVSLBDFJSDJFK. but eventually, i hope it lessens its hold on me. i think one of the hardest things about going from student to adult was accepting that i cant Get A Good Grade At Life. absolutely mindboggling to me. can someone else please tell me what to do and if im doing good at it? please? i dont think i ever stopped being a student vying for validation. or rather, i havent stopped yet

itd be nice to stop. and just do shit cuz i like it. the idea sounds heavenly to me like a clear day. maybe things will be okay ;-;

i wish you all the best too, fire!anon. thank you <3

#life would be so much simpler if somebody told me what to want and how to get an A+ at it #but i guess itd also be a lot more miserable too. i have to learn to want on my own some day #fire!anon #asks

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readersrealm · 5 months

Text

Introduction

Hello.

I'm new to this...Ive never had a blog before but I've always liked the idea of having one. Combining two of my favourite things: reading and (even tho i like it less and am fairly bad at it) writing. Its a dream! Shall I start by telling you facts about me maybe?

Alright. Since you cant answer I just will.

I'd rather not tell you my real name if I'm being honest. With the whole digital footprint and doxxing and all. I'll have to think of a username I'd like. What do you think of something with bubbles (even tho that does sound like a bunny name) or boykiller (that'll start an argument probably with all the boys that think theyre undeserving of being killed) orrr smth with silent (i like that but what? maybe silent bookworm but then again that sounds kind of weird) well... I'll think of something. For now I'll just sign with "unknown" that'll be okay.

I CAN tell you that i am a female human (i am at that point in life where you dont know if you should call me a girl or a woman).

I turned 16 in august. I'm really lucky that my birthday's in august, because its always warm and its ALWAYS in summer break at least where I'm from. We have the whole august summer break. I LOVE IT.

I WAS born in germany and both my parents are german so no english roots what-so-ever (well in the near past) but when covid started back in the beginning of 2020 and school had to stop for a while, while they had to figure out what to to do with the whole pandamic and all so my mom suggested I'd start watching my shows and films in english to learn better english so I did that and it's degenerated a little bit into reading English books. BUT i have to thank my mom for getting the ball rolling.

Im bisexual, meaning I like girls AND boys (figured THAT out finally when i was 13) and if you have anything mean to say about it to me I'll cry (especially when you start talking about the connection between being gay and god - when you say bad things because nobody can say good things about THAT relationship)

My hobbies are

dancing (jazz which is a mix of ballett and hiphop if anyone cares),

reading (fanfiction AND actual books)

and by now probably meeting my friends (I've never considered that to be a hobby...not because i didnt have any friends, no. More because I usually dont like meeting up with people)

and i should probably put "going to the gym" on that list too, but I kind of dropped the ball on that one...

My first book I remember really LOVING that really got me into reading (when i was 9) was (and now this is going to be german so just ignore it if you dont know it) "Alea Aquarius" and I read it now too sometimes. Even though its a childrens book, it became a comfort book too, thinking of all the good times I had as a child especially reading (not just that book but in general). Even young it became an escape from the world (even without screaming parents).

I usually read everything, depending on what people recommend me. But I do have genres I read more than others. Romance, Fantasy and Crime are my favourites even tho romance is getting predictable. MY ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE TROPE tho is unreliable narrator. It is THE best!! The genre I read the least tho is non-fiction. I just need books that transport me into a new (often better and more interesting) world. Classics too are a genre I dont really read. Doesnt mean i havent read a classic and also doesnt mean i dont own some it just means that reading classics in english as a german person is really not that easy...so i dont OR i buy the book in german too. I did that for pride and prejudice (that i bought solely because it was mentioned A LOT in a random wattpad book hehe) and I love it now and own three copies (2 german, 1 english).

I dont read my fanfiction on wattpad anymore either. Ive transferred to ao3 instead. If you dont know the platform, you ABSOLUTELY should. Its amazing what people can write and how EASILY a book can be longer than the bible is magnificent. The fanfiction on there can easily be published as actual books. No problem. And we get to read it for free! Im so grateful for that all the time.

Dont immediatly think Im weird just for reading fanfiction (be honest, who hasnt). I mightve read some dream smp once...(a bit too many because i used to be REALLY into dnf and even bought dream hoodies but lets not talk about that phase of my life. Its embarrassing) but now i love drarry and marauders (especially wolftstar and jegulus) but i also enjoy the "all for the game"-fanfictions - especially "Black as is the Raven" (which is also longer than the bible. dont worry, i checked, am not spreading false information) on ao3 (a trilogy, sooo... actual books) nowadays.

On my spotify wrapped (people who use AppleMusic are weird) it said i listened for 219,139 minutes which are 152 days so I can call myself the music queen now (which is also cringe). My favourite songs (yes i listen to music while reading) are

"NOT!" by straykids

"winterherz" by JAS, "Memories" by Leonell Cassio,

"Summertime Sadness" by Lana del Rey,

"we're all eating eachcother" by Juliet Ivy,

"I miss having sex but atleast i dont want to die anymore" by Waterparks,

"Homemade Dynamite" by Lorde,

"Iris" by The Goo Goo Dolls

"Just You and I" by Tom Walker

"Why am i like this?" by Orla Gartland (thx heartstopper)

"Happy little pill" by Troye Sivan

"DLMLU" by straykids

My favourite artists are Straykids (yes I listen to (and read) KPop, so what. Im not weird -> me, trying to convince myself), NF, Halsey, Lorde, The Weeknd and probably Lana Del Rey (probably have that from my dad...).

I think that was it for now...we can do a part 2 of my introduction when i think of more to say hehe. But i think this is a nice start (and yes i know use the brackets too much, sue me.) and well get along right? Remember, dont be too harsh on me and ignore any minor grammar or spelling mistakes.

Love ya,

Unknown (told you, i need a name)

#new to this #books #me talking #writing #reading #lana del rey #music #halsey #lorde #the weeknd #story #unknown #fanfiction #marauders #all for the game

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saintship · 9 months

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Hey I just wanted to request something real quick and if your not comfortable with doing so don't worry about it 🫶🫶

I've been having so much dysphoria lately and I was thinking about an idea where Price had kept in contact with a trans/non-binary teenager they saved a while back and for when in times they needed help with anything Price gave them his number. So reader has been having a huge dysphoric dip and the stress of school has just been way to much on them lately so they called him up and asked for help. (Assuming reader now lives close to their base.) He drives over and just comforts them and let's them know it's okay and he'll always be their biggest supporter.

I've just been craving some good fluffy comfort with Price and again if you're not comfortable with writing this don't worry its absolutely fine. Have a great day/night 🫶

I’m back!

HI IM SORRRYYYYYYY I PROMISE IM NOT ABANDONING THIS BLOG

And to this anon, I hope you’re alright and just know my blog is a place to be you and you're so cool and rad and awesome :)

I just need you

platonic!Price & trans!reader

Some things just don’t go away. The tugging at your skin, stretching as far up and away from your body as you can, the pacing, the staring. It subsides and returns like a rough coastline, traveling everywhere all at once and yet never reaching anything at all.

It was the night you almost died, fittingly, that you truly started appreciating your own. Trapped in a dead end, several figures closing in fast. You heard their radio crackle with a message to capture instead of kill, and couldn’t process which was worse. It all seemed to blur together from then, until you were tucked into yourself, your head between your knees. You felt a hand at your shoulder, which you scrambled away from.

“Woah, hey..”

A gentle voice made you lift your head ever so slightly, seeing a face you didn’t recognize. The shapes lying still behind him proved he’d taken care of your problem.

“Are you hurt?”

Your words felt caught in your ribcage, a fluttering swarm gathering where your courage should be. You shook your head for the negative.

You simply continued to study him, his gentle eyes, the thread of his beanie, his flag patch.

“Right..” He adjusted his feet, now kneeling down fully on one knee. “It would really help me if you could come to the base so I can get you home, okay? It’s not safe here.”

His eyes searched yours with a reverence that confused you to no end. But you nodded.

“Okay..”

“Okay.” His lips twitched gently into a momentary smile before he helped you to your feet.

The base was cold inside, the walls blank and halls narrow, but he kept a hand on your shoulder from the car to his office, the warmth of his palm soothing.

He'd gotten you home safe, talked with your folks, and given you his office number after many attempts of you refusing.

"Call me. Anytime."

So you did. Most of the time, it was you who wanted to know about his life. Military propaganda be damned, with every phone call you were more inclined to hear more about him and his team, which you were both intimidated by and dying to see in person. The first time you called him for a different reason, you couldn't breathe.

"Hey, kid."

"Price.." His name caught in your throat, another wave of adrenaline shooting up your spine. Your room seemed too small, the floor too abrasive, the air too thick.

"Hey, what's wrong? Do I need to come get you?"

"No..no, I.." You huff, angry at your inability to speak. The frustration only built into the trembling of your hands.

"It's too much..everything...I'm going fucking crazy, I can't take this anymore.." Your voice cracked, and embarrassment flashed over your expression. "Price.."

"You need to breathe. Please. Open your eyes, listen to me."

You hadn't realized your eyes were screwed shut until his words encouraged you to open them gingerly, small spots dotting your vision from the strain.

"I know. I know.. listen, you don't have it easy, no question. But your life's only just started. Do your hear me?"

"Yes.."

"Good. Breathe just like that. It's going to be okay, kid, I've got you."

You breathe shakily, nodding even though he can't see you.

"Hey."

"Yeah?"

"Come outside."

You blinked for a moment before hanging up, forcing your legs to carry you to and out the front door. There he was. Sitting against one of those company-issued trucks that he definitely shouldn't be using for this. For you. But he did.

You don't bother with shoes, your socks largely protecting you from the cold pavement as you walk briskly to him. Before you can bother asking permission, he's got you in his arms, rocking you slowly.

"S'alright.." His voice is softer than it's ever been.

"I didn't mean to bother you, I just-"

"Oi. None of that." He replies immediately, pulling back to rest a hand at the side of your head. "I stayed in touch for a reason. You're a good kid, you deserve someone to call when you get like this, you hear me?"

You nod, too emotional at his words to speak without more tears flowing, before collapsing back into his arms.

"Oh, kid.." he hugs you tightly, letting you take the time to hold onto him.

"I'll always support you. With everything you want to be, and everything you go through. I'm here."

#cod requests #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty #cod mwii #call of duty mw2 #cod mw2 #captain john price

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sleepgarden · 8 months

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I would love to hear more about that quote if you’re comfortable sharing!!

Yes! Okay I'll write it under a readmore- content warnings for abuse and trauma, in this specific case sexual. ...It ended up very long, I'm sorry >< !! I hope it all makes sense at least.

Now that I'm actually about to write it I realize how much context i need to give, so I'll try to do it as simply as possible but this is actually the first time im talking about this piece in depth, so it may still be a little messy..

At the time of making the piece I was at the end of a very long and hurtful relationship. During that relationship I was coerced, taken advantage of, and had my decline of consent ignored (that's one way to put it.. its hard to talk about lol). The timeline leading up to the illustration is hard to explain, but some time before is when i started accepting that i was trans. I allowed myself to see me as i am, explore my identity, approach my own thoughts/feelings with curiosity instead of fear. I gained a lot of confidence in that time (at least, compared to what i had before!) but i kept it a secret from my then-partner as they werent exactly accepting. With this newfound confidence though I expressed some desires to them that they gave a very clear and solid no to, so I immediately dropped it and moved on. (I should also say, i never really asked for anything in that relationship before. The things my partner did made me think that i was asexual for years, lmao) Later, nearing the end of it, is when i started realizing how truly awful the things they did were and how deeply it affected me. I felt like I had given (been taken from, actually) so much and had nothing to show for it. I also had the realization when thinking back about when I myself asked for something too but was told no, just how easy it was to accept that. In fact is was impossible to imagine not accepting it and getting them to do what i wanted anyways.

So to now explain the phrase "and now with thorns of his own, its the roses call to endure" The thorns are the shift of the dynamic, where as before the rose was the only one with them, the character in the illustration had now grown his own. Equally awful to touch or be touched by. He calls on the rose to endure just as he did. But, of course, I didnt feel that way. I would never want to do that to someone. I could never expect that from them, you know? How could I? And thats just it- thats where the anger came from: How could they?

The realization of what its like on the other end to be told "no" and to imagine pushing them to deal with it regardless was infuriating. The illustration calls on the rose to endure, but the anger in the piece is about asking it to do so. It's such an impossible thing to imagine doing, but something that I experienced for years. I was angry with myself for going through that, I was angry with them for everything they did, and i put it all in that illustration. It was genuinely one of the most healing illustrations ive ever made, and i officially ended the relationship soon after.

With all illustrations there really is more to it than can be said with a blanket explanation like that. But the major emotional force was driven by those things, if that makes sense? I am glad people can connect to this piece or see themself in their own way, however they interpret it. I've had people say they feel seen with it, or that its satisfying to them, and it fills my heart so much that it aches. As i said before, its bittersweet, but so meaningful to me.

I wrote this earlier today and while reviewing the draft I see how messy it is, but I'm going to post anyways! I apologize if it's incoherent- it's hard to tall about complex emotions like that. And due to how personal it is (the most personal I've ever been online I think) I'll delete it sometime in the future. Anyways, thank you again for reaching out about it! I don't get a chance to talk about my work very often. ♡

Thank you anyone who ready all that as well!

#Very messy and some parts aren't clear but it's okay. The gist is there I think #Have a wonderful day ♡

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spaceyflowerswriting · 2 years

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Hello! I came across your blog and read ur vin jin one shot and fell in love TT. If you dont mind could you write another vin jin one shot with reader on a study date? Thank you!!

studying, kind of (vin jin x reader)

details: fluffy oneshot, gender neutral reader but written in 2nd pov, general canon au, you and vin jin are dating

summary: you do your best to help your troublesome boyfriend study.

a/n: hi!! and no worries, thank u for requesting, anon <33 im really glad u liked my other vin jin oneshot ;_; its always fun writing him !! 💖

erm,, i kind of expanded on the study date thing but i hope this still works for u T_T

"Mary, S-O-fucking-S. My partner lied to me. They said we were gonna hang out!!!!!!"

"What?"

"They're forcing me to study instead!!!!"

"Lol deserved."

"NO!!! I NEED HELP!!!!!"

Vin Jin's phone nearly flew out of his hands when he heard you re-enter the room--your bedroom to be specific. He fumbled with it and then turned to you, totally not looking like he was up to no good. The second you smiled he melted and started to feel a tiny bit guilty for trying to escape. He pocketed his phone as you sat down next to him.

There was a plate of cut up apples with a fork and a glass of water in your hands that you set down on the low table between you two. He looked at them and then back at you with mild confusion.

"They're for you," you clarified, and he said a, "Oh, thanks!" before eating a piece of fruit. You took a moment to adore him before clearing your throat. He immediately paused his chewing as you began to speak, "Look. I know you don't want to do this, but if you fail the upcoming test, your grade is in serious trouble."

"So?"

The bluntness in his one-word response somehow caught you by surprise, despite how unsurprising it was. You just sighed a little. "That means you could be held back. Mary and I are going to move on without you."

"If you guys really cared, y'all would fail with me--ow!"

You left your hand on his arm where you had lightly whacked him, to give him a little shake. "I'm serious, Vin. Just once you have to get yourself together."

Vin Jin shrugged your hand off. "Okay, listen. I'm trying to become a rapper, right?" He stayed silently still until you eventually nodded and he went back to animatedly talking. "Right! So what the fuck has math got to do with rapping?!"

Internally, you groaned. "Nothing!! But you still need to graduate from this school!!"

"Why!!"

"So you can have a high school degree!!"

"I don't need that to be a rapper!!"

"Well, I want you to have one anyways!!" Before he could yell out another, "Why!!" (because you knew he would), you grabbed ahold of his face and had him look at you directly in the face. "Please, Vin."

He goes quiet and for probably half a minute, there's nothing but somewhat tense silence. Soon, he gave in, though. His hands clasped over yours and he replied, "Alright. Fine. Only because you're my lover."

You thinned your lips. At least he was agreeing now. "Just keep in mind this is also for your own sake."

"Sure..."

While he pouted, you grabbed your bag nearby and took out a bunch of materials, sorting through them and placing them on the table. "Grab your stuff, too, hun."

"Okay..."

His tone had you thinning your lips again, except out of sympathy this time. You poked his thigh to get his attention and said, "Before we start, I should let you know the plan. We're going to study for a little over an hour." You held your index finger up to stop him from interrupting. "But, we're going to take 5 minute breaks every 25 minutes. In other words, that's studying for 25 minutes 3 times, with 2 breaks totaling up to 10 minutes of break time. That doesn't sound too bad, right?"

A flurry of emotions went through Vin Jin's expression until it settled on indifference. He gave you a nod and you smiled.

"Good! You'll be okay, Vin." You leaned in to kiss his cheek and then set up a timer on your phone. You slid over your notebook next to begin going over the notes you took to prepare for the test.

He still seemed kind of grumpy as he listened, but your kiss definitely lightened him up. He also seemed to feel better after finishing up the apples and water you brought for him.

When your alarm rang, Vin Jin yelled, "Finally!" as he yawned and leaned into you. "I'm gonna nap."

"That's fine," you hummed.

He turned his head a bit to look at you. "Oh shit, for real?"

"Yes." You continued flipping through the textbook in front of you. "Short naps are a way to still be productive during your breaks for this method of studying. It's backed up by science or something."

"Damn, that's crazy." Vin Jin turned back. "Well, good night."

You chuckled. "Good night."

And that was how he chose to spend the next break as well. Looking forward to the nap actually somewhat motivated him, and so did your kisses. He occasionally asked for them as rewards whenever he was right when you quizzed him or whatever "I can't remember the answer... if you kiss me, I might though," was.

It seemed like the first kiss you gave him on the cheek earlier worked better than you thought.

After the third 25 minute session ended, you genuinely felt pride in your non-studious boyfriend for sitting through this with you. Of course, the only proper thing to do was give him a kiss on the lips.

"Good job, Vin, you made it!" You beamed at him after pulling away. "We'll do this throughout the week and then hopefully you should be prepared for the test by then!" Your smile faltered a bit when you noticed your boyfriend looking off to the side. A look of curiosity replaced your current look as you stared at him, not saying anything because it seemed like he had something to say.

His cheeks were a little flushed as he cleared his throat and muttered, "Geez, am I a kid or something...?"

Lighthearted laughter spilled from your lips. "I'm just proud of you! It looked like you were putting in effort, so I'm happy."

"Good, because I kinda was." He crossed his arms, still looking embarrassed. "A-anyways, did you say we're doing this for the rest of the week?" You nodded. "Alright. I guess it's not so bad if it's with you..." In an attempt to change the focus on him, he forced a laugh and finally turned to look at you, saying, "You're a lot better than Mary at teaching, y'know?"

You couldn't help but grin. "I'm sure she did her best."

"Well, her best sucks."

"Uh-huh." You shook your head, softly laughing before stretching a little. "So, what do you want to do now? We can get takeout or something as a reward for all your hard work."

"Really?!" This time he pulled you in to kiss your cheek. "I don't know why you're being so nice to me, but hell, I ain't complaining."

You playfully rolled your eyes. "The work-hard-and-recieve-a-reward system seems to be the only thing keeping you motivated to study so that's what I'm doing."

"Hey, now that sounds like you're treating me like a dog!"

"It's working though~"

"I change my mind, you're as awful as Mary."

The bickering continued even after you both left the house to get takeout of Vin Jin's choice. Things cooled by the time you two began eating though, and before the both of you knew it, nighttime had fallen.

Of course, Vin Jin spent the night at your place. To him, spending time with you was the biggest reward of all in this whole new studying schedule thing.

"Can you believe it, Mary?! They actually made me like studying. Fucked up."

"That's them, for ya~ I don't actually think you like studying, though. It's just hanging out with them, hehe."

"Ugh... whatever."

#lookism x reader #vin jin x reader #vin jin #SOBS.. THIS WAS SO FUN TO WRITE #i got carried away tho lol ;;#its just fun to write about the cute mundane stuff that couples can do ;_; <33 #also i always have so much fun writing vin + mary interactions <3 #requests

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kenonade · 3 months

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stella maris reading log #1

its about damn time i start noting down how i feel when i read what i read. hell yeah. hopefully this makes me a better writer.

spoilers not really about the plot (bc honestly is there even a plot in the sense of a plot) but more about the language below the cut woooooo

tldr: book cool. writing insane. wtf. wtf. wtf. head ouchie. 越级打怪的后果就是头晕脑转 (dizziness is the consequence of attempting to read beyond my level). ooga booga man talk abt english

reading stella maris is so interesting because im just sitting here wondering like. how the FUCK did mccarthy accumulate all this knowledge about a variety of very distinct fields. my brain hurts. this is so much information. im learning nothing and learning everything at the same time. how the man managed to learn all this stuff and how he managed to put it together like this puzzle me equally intensely. its one thing to acquire knowledge. its a whole other thing to convey it in language so dense with information but also character. like, not to be that guy, but when osc does his infodumps i think to myself okay old man lets get you to bed. every time alicia opens her mouth i confront my intellectual inferiority and contemplate the meaning of life because it is alicia talking.

not to mention what the FUCK alicia. if only you’d have KNOWN. EUGH. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT.

my head hurts. the reason why im writing instead of reading is because ive already reached my reading breaking point where my eyes glaze over and the words go in one and out the other. its only been two hours. difficult language i can handle fine, verbosity is fine, i inhaled the ender stuff and only took breaks when osc pissed me off, but stella maris is information overload in a way that i’ve never experienced before. im like, texting three separate people all the time. oh i should vet this w my math guy. i need to show this to my psych classmate. this has to go to my orthopedics bestie.

i started this book saw the page number and went oh sure. its half the length of the passenger. the style means that it’ll contain less words overall too. i should be able to finish this on a three hour hsr ride. WRONG. i CANT. it’s TOO DIFFICULT. im running into roadblocks very similar to what i felt when i read the passenger: dont know place/name/context/big word. except im finding stella maris to be even more difficult because unlike some nautical jargon or random place in the midwestern usa that i can just look up, i cant. i think its impossible to even begin to comprehend all this math.

that’s definitely part of the charm of stella maris. the format of audio transcripts creates a much more intimate connection between the characters and the reader. the target demographic of this novel, though niche, is definitely not as niche as to comprise only of genius mathematicians with a burning passion for music and a hatred of psychology. the reader might be a master in one of these fields, but alicia outsmarts them in it along with all others. viewed through this lens, the reader is the doctor. the reader is the one who converses with alicia, trying their best to piece together a mind that is so extraordinarily genius and extraordinarily tormented. it’s a position of emotional significance. the reader sits through these audio recordings because they want to understand alicia. and to understand alicia is to love her. (this is a certified when i truly understand my enemy i love him moment)

all of that sits in stark contrast to western’s narration in the passenger.

i wrote an entire paragraph but tumblr fucking ate it. im pissed. its ok. for love i’ll write it again.

western’s narration is detached. it’s impersonal. mccarthy’s clinical and direct use of language alienates the viewer and prevents the formation of any sincere rapport, allowing only mild sympathy for western’s continued suffering. the reader is merely an observer, piecing together the life of a strange, curious creature through inference and deduction. nor is the reader meant to empathize with him. he’s the one who chose to abandon alicia, the one reckless enough to chose race car driving over his degree, and therefore the one who shoulders alone the responsibility of alicia’s death—or so he thinks. in a sense, because western is comparatively lucid, the detached narration becomes almost a punishment for the guilt he’s assigned to himself. he’s not the one in the mental asylum, afterall.

its interesting to me how mccarthy presents this duo to the audience. i have many Thoughts on alicia’s sexuality and stuff but i should finish the book before i synthesize those thoughts. anyway. thanks for reading 👍

#stella maris #cormac mccarthy #kenon.notes #honestly i think at this point i should start a book blogging tag #hm #kenon.reads #it’s cringe but it will suffice #ok this turned into a thing about #the passenger #also #book reading #english #?????????#how do you tag this stuff #idk

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haveihitanerve · 3 months

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Lucien stood on the balcony at the House of Wind and stared out over Velaris. The city of starlight. He had never seen a more beautiful view. He smelled her before he heard her, the telltale sign of the door opening the only sound of her arrival. He knew she wanted him to hear her approach. He had tested that door. It opened silently if you tried. “How are you doing?” She asked quietly, taking up a place at his side. Lucien loosed a sigh. “Its beautiful.” He said instead. She gave him a look. “Feyre.” He started. She waited. “I am- so sorry.” She blinked. This was clearly not when she expected them to have this conversation. But Lucien plowed on. He needed to tell her. To make her understand. “I know- i realize now that I should have been better. That i should have fought more. I fought some- but it wasn't enough.” He looked everywhere but at her. “I regret- i regret my part in your suffering and im glad…” he took a deep breath. “Im glad you ran away. Im glad you left him. Left me. Im glad you found this place with these people.” he made himself meet her eyes. “I am so glad that you have a family. And that you are happy. And i am so sorry for not giving that to you.” Feyre took his hand in hers and squeezed it gently. “Its okay.” She breathed quietly. “I forgive you. I have forgiven you. I never thought- an apology is nice, of course.” she smiled. “But i didn't expect it.” “well you should have.” Lucien said forcefully. “I owe you one. And im sorry.” Feyre smiled lightly. “Okay foxy. I get it. And i forgive you.” Lucien released a breath of relief, sinking down onto the bench that was closest to him. Feyre joined him, their hands still interlaced. “Why didn't you?” Feyre asked quietly. He looked at her. She looked back. “Fight for me.” She elaborated. Lucien ran a hand through his hair. It was a fair question. “I tried.” He whispered miserably. “Everyday i begged Tamlin- begged him. To let me take you on a ride. To let you go to the village. Do anything but sit inside all day and paint.” Lucien shook his head. “But he refused. Time and time again. Before we left i-” he hesitated. “When we were going to come back I had plans to kidnap you.” he said quietly.

“I- i didn't care anymore. You were suffering and so close to breaking and Tamlin was just letting it happen i couldn't-” he cut off, taking a deep breath. “Before we left I made a deal with Alis.” he said quietly. “She was going to put something in your food and make you eat it the night before we got back. And pack all your things in a bag. Then I would excuse myself from Tamlin and grab you, and the supplies that we still had from our excursion. And i would leave.” he swallowed. “I didn't have a plan where to go, or what to do. But i couldn't just let you go on like that. And then… then Rhys happened.” He shook his head. “And i am so glad we left. So that he could find you.” Lucien looked at her. Feyre covered her mouth with one hand, squeezing his with the other. “Lucien.” she breathed, tears in her eyes. He smiled faintly. “Tamlin...” he shook his head. “It was bad. But i am so glad you got out.” He squeezed her hand. “What about the letter?” Feyre asked quietly. But the way she said it he knew the question had been weighing on her. Lucien sighed. “Honestly, until then i thought Rhys had messed with your mind.” He admitted. “But then you sent the letter and… your scent was clearly on it. I begged Tamlin to let it go. That you were happy and that he should be satisfied with that. But he refused. He said that you couldn't read or write. And that rhys had done it. To make us forget you. As if that was ever a possibility.” he scoffed. “He sent me to go looking for you. And forced sentries to go to. We were told not to bother coming back if we didn't have you.” He swallowed. Feyre squeezed his hand tighter. “And when i saw you.” He smiled. “I wanted so badly to take you home. But i also knew i couldn't.” He shrugged. “So we went back.” He turned pale. “Tamlin…” he trailed off, standing abruptly. “Sorry. I shouldn't have- you don't need to hear all this. You were safe and happy here. Are.” he corrected. “Lucien-” Feyre stood and grabbed his arm when he made to leave. “Did he hurt you?” She asked quietly. Lucien swallowed and shook out of her grip. “You're safe and happy here Feyre.” He said. “Don't worry about Tamlin, or what happened in the Spring Court anymore.”

He turned and hurried through the door inside but Feyre followed. She couldn't let him bury this, couldn't let him hide this anymore. They had been friends once. He had been her first, her best friend for a long time. She wanted that back. And she couldn't let him walk away now. Friends didn't let that happen. Lucien hadn't made it far. Rhys stood in the living room, wings present, shadows swirling around his shoulders, murder in his eyes. Lucien slowed and stopped. Cassian and Azriel were seated on the couches nearby, tense, but not entirely sure why. Cass stood as Feyre walked in though, and positioned himself close by. Rhys eyes bored into Luciens. Feyre stepped up next to him and squeezed his hand. Lucien didn't remove his gaze from Rhys, but squeezed back. “Did he hurt you?” Rhys repeated Feyre’s earlier question. Lucien closed his eyes. Az was on his feet in an instant and Cassian let out a strangled noise. “Lucien.” Feyre said softly. Lucien's body trembled. “I loved him.” he whispered. “Everyone I knew, my brothers, my father, my mother, even those who i had come to consider family in the farms of the autumn court, turned against me. And Tam took me in. Gave me a home. A responsibility. Friendship.” he swallowed, eyes still squeezed shut. “But he always demand obedience first, friendship second.” He sniffed. “And it hurt.” He cut off, blinking hard. “I was a lot like you, y'know.” He gestured to Cassian and Azriel. To Rhys. “At first. I teased him. Pushed him. And when hard choices came and I felt he made the wrong one,” Lucien stared at the ground. “I told him.” Lucien shifted, and Feyre could feel his tremors through his hand. She squeezed tighter. “He did not take it as well as you do.” He met Rhys eyes. Azriel removed Truth Teller from its sheath. Lucien shook. “Im going to kill him.” Cassian said, voice low. Something cracked and Feyre turned in surprise to her mate. A broken chair, snapped in half, lay at his feet. Cold, hard rage roiled in his eyes. Lucien shook harder. Feyre gave him a look, but Rhys couldn't rein it in. So cassian did. He pushed his anger aside in favor of comfort, and stepped closer. “Boyo,” he said quietly. Lucien inhaled sharply, unaware he had gotten so close. Cassian placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. “We will never touch you.” he swore. “Never. Outside of training of course.” he added with a wink. Lucien managed a weak smile. “You are ours. You are not ever returning to that fucking prick again okay? Ours.” he pressed his forehead against Luciens. “And i swear to you, i swear.” he breathed vehemently. “We will not lay a harsh finger on you. Ever.” Lucien was shaking again, but this was deeper. Less fearful. Feyre released his hand and Cassian enveloped him, his wings splaying slightly as he cocooned them. Lucien broke, a sob ripping from his throat as he clutched at Cassian, sobbing into his shoulder. Cassian held him tighter, never faltering. A rock in this storm. The raw, broken sound, snapped something in Rhys and Az. Some of the anger dimmed from their eyes. Feyre could still see it, raging beneath their skin, but they pushed it aside for Lucien. Choosing to comfort him over gaining revenge for him. They approached slowly, letting their footsteps be heard, and az slowly placed a hand on Lucien's shoulder. The emissary sobbed harder. “I lay claim to you.” Rhys said quietly. “Lucien Vanserra. You belong to the Night Court now. You are a part of our Inner Circle now. You are mine.” a bit of High Lord laced the last few words. “And I swear an oath to you, that none in our Court will ever harm you the way he has. And we will do everything in our power to make sure you are never hurt that way again.” Light flashed, and Feyre glanced down at her forearm. Cassian, Rhys, and Az all did the same. Wrapped around her wrist, a single thin, fiery red tattoo now lay. The same color as Lucien's hair.

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cruelsister-moved2 · 1 year

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Im the hater anon omg i didnt mean to lead u astray but i haven't finished it i'm just over half done. i probably will finish just so i can coherently say why i don't like it bc rn my thoughts are all over the place but u hit all the major points im like nodding and taking notes rn. Its very shallow lore wise like its all overly complex exposition that barely effects the plot. I could write about this for 100 years but basically it was boring and i just feel like it has nothing to say like theres no purpose or message and i think speculative stuff should have SOME weight behind it idk. That paired w how the writing itself is like..not pretty or artful or anything………………….

And on top of that its not even actually funny. Instead of real jokes its just 100 million mcu quips awkwardly inserted so that no situation is ever treated genuinely or seriously or with depth. For example. My personal least favorite part beyond general quality so far is how often they bring up gideon being inappropriately horny… idk how else to word it.. Its one of her 3 personality traits. they mention her porn collection i swear every couple of pages. its played 4 jokes but like the rest of it its literally unfunny and feels so out of place. Like this is right when they just discovered an incinerated body → ”she looked troubled, which made Gideon sad, but she was also soaked right through to the skin, which made Gideon need a lie-down.” Its like if someone whose only point of reference was tiktok during that era where every vaguely masc woman got made fun of for being a quote hey mamas lesbian unquote tried to write a masc woman. Reading it as a masc lesbian myself is just sort of embarrassing idk if other ppl feel differently but it just feels overplayed and goofy.

Anyways… this is all very long and incoherent but thank u for complaining and vindicating me… i started reading it a couple days ago on a whim bc ive been seeing ppl talk abt it a lot lately and i was instantly SOOOOO disappointed. Part of it was definitely that i was expecting something very different because of how people talk about it but also its just like bad. Its insane. I also had no idea abt the roachpatrol thing so ummmmmm :(

hiiiiiiiiii omg so your suffering isn't even over yet my condolences.

the worldbuilding exposition industrial complex needs to end im so serious. I just had such a nice conversation with some writer friends about soft vs hard magic systems and world-building and how frustratingly common the assumption that more complex lore you dump the more sophisticated your story is at the moment. in reality many more sophisticated stories deliberately utilise abstraction and whimsy for thematic statements. v happy for brandon sanderson fans but again, a lot of those stories are basically like mystery novels except the magic is the mystery, whereas the speculative fiction authors who... actually speculate...are often using it as a tool to speculate about our own existence.

and the writing is so ugly like I've read a couple of chapters and I feel like i could get through a mid story if it's at least well written but it wasn't even inoffensive it was actively offputting like that prose was stinkyyyyyyyyy..... and the quips exactlyyy like who is laughing at none pizza with left beef anymore and the fact a lot of it isn't even the author being witty but just like. a reference to a meme? it's literally supposed to be like gritty but then everyone is memeing and quipping all the time how are you meant to take that seriously?

and okay the like sexualisation of Gideon had kind of been my suspicion but I hadn't read enough to make that claim for certain so. that's disappointing to have it confirmed. given that the author is a fem woman who calls herself a lesbian whilst being homestuck married to a guy, it really brings up some kind of discomfort in me to be using masc women that way and making a joke out of them and their sexuality and calling them himbos and shit like. it really doesn't seem like she actually knows any masc women??? and when that was a huge part of the marketing for the book it comes to feel exploitative.

one thing to be aware is that tor like. pushed it really hard marketing-wise for whatever reason. I guess they feel it symbolises a new era of sci-fi and like were using it as an outreach effort to engage the generation that mostly only reads fan fiction or whatever which I guess cheers if it achieves that. but the majority of negative reviews are specifically that it was nothing like what they expected it to be, because of the.... super gimmicky marketing.

the tagline being sword necromancer lesbians in space or something so lame 😭 and it really seems like the elements came first and the justification came second so it's never really explained why they use swords instead of more technologically advanced weapons (bc the answer is 'it sounds cool') or really why it needs to be in space at all (because the answer is 'it sounds cool'). even the necromancy is supposedly fairly tangential and ive seen people be underwhelmed how much actual lesbianism is involved too 💀

9mbut yeah the r0ach patr0l thing I wish people were more aware of because honestly above anything else, I've seen people who were fans and then found this out and felt super uncomfortable so I think people deserve to know what kind of background she has, and this is literally where she developed her writing and her name as a BNF so it's directly connected to her current career not just like a celebrity who tweeted something dumb when they were 14. like I think it's fair to take that into account + idk it's INTERESTING to me that she went from that to debuting with a masc lesbian whom she projects like comic hypersexuality onto it really is all much to think about truly

#ask #anon #I remember there was a bit that said smth like 'there was a sort of clanging sound' or something #and I just was like........................... has this not had any line editing stall #*at all #what do you mean SORT OF.#+ I feel like the author is that gross and is projecting it on butch women which like. category 5 fem woman moment #the homestuck het marriage is just so lame sorry im going to make fun of that #esp bc she used to also write the redacted redacted fanfic with that guy

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