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iwadori · 3 years

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When they leave you on your wedding day (Sakusa, Bokuto)

Genre: angst

Word count: 1.7K

masterlist

Sakusa’s will make more sense if you read this you don’t have too but it’ll help.

Sakusa:

“Y/N,” you hear knocks on the door outside your dressing room “I-I need to talk to you.”

“But Omi, a groom must never see their bride until they meet at the alter,” you say behind the door.

“I-It’s important, and I must tell you right now.” he says a bit more intensely

“Okay, Okay... you can come in but im hiding in the closet since my dress is already on.”

“Ok.”

You hear the door open and shut, and a lot of pacing around of what you can presume was his fresh wedding shoes trotting against the hard wood floors.

“Omi,” you call wondering why he hasn’t spoken yet “Is everything okay?”

“Umm yes I-it's fine...it just I-” he says pausing

“Just what?”

“I don’t really know how to say this Y/N, I don’t really know how to say it’s just-” he says again pausing himself taking a deep breath.

“Just what Omi? Don’t tell me you’ve got cold feet love,” you say laughing at the thought of it, but your laughter ceased when you don’t hear the ‘Of course I don’t have cold feet Y/N’ that you were expecting.

“Omi?” you asked again, hoping he had he was still going to give you the response you wanted.

“Omi..” you repeated.

“Omi!” you say finally, now exiting the room (with your wedding dress on) to see why your fiance was not responding.

To your shock, Omi was sitting down on a couch with his face in his hands with soft sobs coming from his mouth and runny tears and snot coming from his eyes and nose. “Omi whats wrong?” you say loudly, alerting him,

“Y/N you look beautiful!” he says sniffling.

“Omi you were meant to say that at the alter, but now that your crying forget about the dress... what’s wrong?” you say sitting down next to him.

“I don’t know how to say this...” he starts, looking away from you

“Say what? Omi look at me...” you say feeling anxious

“We...We can’t get married today,” he says still with his eyes off you.

“What do you mean, we can’t get married.” you ask but you get no answer,

“Omi answer me,”

“Say something please!” you say turning his body so that he’s facing you, his eyes are all puffy and bloodshot from the crying and now tears are filling yours “What do you mean Omi,”

“Remember Ex’s name?” he says confusing you cause what did she have to do with anything.

“Yes I remember her, I remember vividly being the girl you cheated on her with after you claimed you were ‘breaking up with her’ so I had to tell her.” you scoff “so yes, I definitely remember Y/N, what about her?”

“We recently umm how can I say this,” he says struggling for words “reconnected... and I do truly miss her and she’s made me rethink some things, see some things...”

“And those things are?”

“I’ve always loved her, she’s always been my one. The one.” he says smiling a bit at the thought of her making you feel sick.

“But Omi what about us? What about the wedding that’s going to happen in less than an hour?”

“Im sorry Y/N I’ll tell everyone what has happened.”

“I don’t want you to do that, I want you to marry me.” you say desparetly “please Omi, why her? Why now..”

“It’s always been her, and you’ve known that.” he says standing up “The day you told her about our ONE NIGHT stand, was the day that I thought I couldn’t live on, but when you came and accepted the pathetic mess I was, I gladly dated you since I had nothing else to loose...but its been 4 years since then I'm a changed man and EX NAME is a changed girl, a forgiving girl and the spark we had wasn’t lost I guess...and Im happy now”

“But what about me?” you say crying “What about me? And my happiness, don’t I deserve that? Don’t I deserve to finally be happy.”

“Y/N, you do deserve to be happy. But not with me, not at the stake of my own happiness, I wont allow it.”

“Omi bu-”

“God Y/N, don’t be so desperate!” he said agressively “Im sorry for stopping the wedding, I know your parents have put in alot of money in it and I will certainly pay them back... in due time of course.”

“You’re sorry for stopping the wedding?” you say angrily “Not sorry for stopping this relationship. Stopping the longlasting feelings ive felt for you since the day I met you?”

“Cut the crap Y/N, all we did was have one night stand.” he says rolling his eyes and unbuttoning his top botton of his shirt and loosening his tie I dont know why but this Is what guys do when theyre mad in the movies.

“Your such a liar Omi, you used to come into my work place everyday flirting with me talking about how much you wanted me, PINING AFTER ME, making me fall in love with you and not even telling me you had a girlfriend at the time.” you yell “and you summarise that all to me falling in love with you after one measly one night stand.”

“I don’t want to do this Y/N,” he says heading to the door “We’re finished. No more wedding. No marriage. And definitely don’t contact me after this. We’re through.” he slams the door behind him, leaving you alone and jilted in your wedding dress.

You get why he broke it off with you, and technically you do play a small part to blame. You were the one that told his girlfriend that you slept with him and then dated him afterwards, so I guess ‘how you get them, is how you lose them’ definitely works in this case.

Bokuto

The bokuto and L/N wedding was going to be a joyous occasion. Your soon to be husband told everybody he saw that he were to be wed with you, he couldn’t contain his excitement.

“Bokuto calm down, we’ll be married soon.” was what you always said, whenever he started his rambles to which he always replied “I know Y/N, I cant wait.”

When it came to your grand day, you were excited from the moment you woke up you were buzzing, wondering if Bokuto was feeling even a half of the feelings that you felt.

You looked beautiful in your dress, anticipating the look on Bokuto’s face when he sees you at that alter. Your wedding party was already at the hotel you were getting married at whilst Bokuto’s got ready at the houe and decided to drive there.

So after you got ready, all you had to do is wait for Kuroo, one of Bokuto’s best men, to tell you when it’s time for you to walk down the aisle.

You were impatient, your leg was shaking now you knew how Bokuto felt when he rambled on how excited he was for you to become Bokuto Y/N. You finally heard a knock on the door and you dashed to open it,

“Kuroo, thank god you’re here!” you exclaim giving him a hug “I’ve been waiting ages for you, lets go! Take me to my future husband.” You pull his arm practically trying to run and see your man before Kuroo pulls your arm halting you.

“Y/N...” he says shifting his eye sight from left to right “I think we should sit down for a minute.”

“Why? Is he not here yet, gosh he’s always been late to things” you joke “but fine we can sit for a minute or two.”

As you sat, Kuroo turns his body to you putting his hands on your knees with his eyes looking sad “Y/N. I don’t know how to say this but...” he gulps putting his head down “there’s been an accident.”

“Accident? What do you mean accident? What happened? Is everyone okay.” you ask a bit frantically, since it would sad for someone to be hurt on your wedding day.

“That’s the thing Y/N, Bokuto he..”

“Bokuto what? He’s okay.. Right?” you ask staring at Kuroo “He’s fine right?”

“No he isnt,” he says

“What do you mean he isn’t what happened, where is he? I need to see him.” you say getting up before Kuroo pulls you back down.

“He isn’t anywhere... well anywhere for you to see him. There weren’t enough cars for us, well there were but one of them the engine wasn’t starting and it sound a bit dodgy. But Bokuto said, he insisted for us all to be there. I even offered to let him take my spot in the other cars, I did Y/N I really did, but he promised us that he’d be fine. He left a bit before he did, saying that if he had chance to wander around the hotel it may calm his nerves. But when we were driving, we saw this car all mangled up on the side of the road, it was his. I told him not to drive that car, I told him and he did and I-” he rambled with tears pooling in his eyes “Im sorry Y/N im really sorry.”

“But why why didn’t you call?”

“He told us not too, he said that he wanted you be to as happy as you could be on this day as he knew it wouldn’t end with you becoming his wife.”

“But the ambulance, you called an ambulance right?”

“He was D.O.A, Akaashi went with him since he knew that he probably wouldn’t be able to deliver the news to you.”

“Why? Why did he leave me? On our wedding day, it was supposed to be our day and now hes gone Kuroo hes gone.” you wail, but kuroo wraps his arms around you in a brotherly hug as he cries too.

That’s how you spend your wedding night, crying in your friends arms over the loss of your ‘husband’ and his ‘brother.’

Bokuto’s funeral was the week after, and it was not an event you were excited for. It was a hard day to get through, but you did it with the help of Kuroo and Akaashi. You visit Bokuto every year on your wedding anniversary talking to your husband even though it always reminds you of the day that never came to be.

This is the wedding angst that is a gift from me to you sweetheart @teesumu you can totally block me after this cause girll I cried whilst writing it.

If you want a nice ending to the bokuto story to make you feel better read this

General taglist [bold can’t be tagged]: @sakuxxi, @iimoonii, @hamdehlesmis, @Shoyosupremacy, @iambashfulperson, @kayleighbeccaa, @dearkousei, @bakugouswh0r3, @xedspirits @borpcorp, @soft-angel-clouds, @foxxtrot-116 @Xogiaaa, @jesssobs, @apple-poptarts @galagcica @letssssus, @random-734, [join the taglist here]

#signedwithane😌#haikyu angst #haikyu headcanons #haikyu scenarios #haikyu #haikyuu x reader #bokuto x reader #bokuto angst #bokuto scenarios #sakusa angst #sakusa x reader #sakusa scenarios

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spnsmile · 4 years

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"I believe in her."

Cas couldn't take his eyes away from Dean. Even when Sam left, all he could do is stare and when Dean notices, he returns it with intent.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"You don't really believe her, right? Billie?"

"Why the sudden change of mind?" Dean takes a sip of his beer. Castiel looks at him thoughtfully.

"Sam's just... Asking the right question, I mean. What's her end game? What happens if Jack succeeds? What's next...?"

"Ain't it paradise?"

Castiel pauses. He didn't think Dean would remember so continues frowning and watched Dean straighten himself as much as his bowlegs would allow.

"Well, no choice but go with the greater of the two evils, Cas. And right now the guy who's planning the old comedy "wipe out the world" takes the cake."

"Dean, she's Death. As far as I'm concerned if any entity out there wants you dead for good, it's her. You're not worried she could use this opportunity to get you? Like killing two birds with blunt force of one stone... in one very violent throw... Don't laugh, she of all people wants you dead."

Cas swallows hard, the idea cementing in his brain now he's vocal about it.

And Dean just chuckles?

"She could. But if she's using us to get rid of Chuck, then that means wanting me dead also takes the back burner. For now we see eye to eye. Chuck has to go first dibs. If she needs to use us then we gotta hold hands, run up to the sunset and see where she takes us."

"That is highly optimistic view, even for you, Dean. Considering she's been trying to get you killed

"She's death, it's her obsession, Cas. Talking about death." the hunter smirks, making the angel bristle.

"This isn't funny, Dean."

"I know, Cas. You know I get it, okay. But whatever she's got drawn up her blue print, doesn't change the fact that she still gotta line up the queue." Dean shrugs and it's not nonchalance that Castiel sees in his eyes.

It's absolute faith for this cause. One where Dean will be fighting with him until the last battle.

Until his last breath. After that, what?

Castiel closes his eyes.

"I'm saying I don't want you to die." he finally says, all raw emotions out. He feels Dean look his way, know the startled expression is in there without needing to look and hates it.

Why Dean always need to be surprise when someone tells him they don't want him dead never ceases to anger him.

Like Dean believes everyone wants him dead. Then again, considering things he's been through...

"Hey, Cas?"

Castiel engages the man with a look.

And like its not enough that they've been throwing furtive looks at each other in the presence of Sam, the man has the gall to stand and seat in that distracting position where he can fully see the man's lips and thick bowlegs presenting just within his reach while smiling like he know what he's doing.

The way Dean can look so full of affection with green eyes that just flickers expressively towards his direction with long lashes dusting his freckled cheeks. The way he opens his emotions to Castiels without restraint, letting him glimpse the soul so bright in its form he once rebuilt

I want closer

But he stays where he is, even when Dean openly invites him silently to come closer, his eyes expectant and soft and full of love.

Cas remains where he is perched.

Control. He gives it seven seconds count to take over the reel of feelings pulling him to Dean. The same way when Dean's eyes were grateful and bursting and happy, almost singing praises when they reconciled after his solemn prayer. Dean is gazing at him with the same adoration same loving affection overflowing and so full of hope.

So full of love. Something Castiel knows he cannot accept so he ducks his eyes. He knows exactly why the pull is strong this time. It's Dean. Dean's longing.

Dean's prayers.

So loud and intense. It wants him.

It's madness how the tables have turned. Unlike before where the boat is tipping on his side, this time, Dean's the one putting the weight. Dean's the one screaming in silence of his love.

But he can't. Not yet.

He has a mission here otherwise... He thinks of Jack and the mission.

Focus...

But it's too late when he looked up, he only sees Dean smile sadly and nod, before finishing the last whiskey on his glass, the sparks in his eyes dimming.

Dean wipes his chin with the back of his hand, his lips making smacking sound too loud to ignore.

"See you later, Cas." he says quietly, monotone and Castielf, angel that he is feels the swift slap of coldness on his skin. The worst was when Dean turns to go without meeting Castiel's eyes even when the angel has pushed himself off his wall and was waiting, but Dean goes- moves away.

Dean is leaving him and thwe sharp jab on the organ functioning as his heart makes Castiel call Dean back.

"Wait." He finds his hand curling on Dean's elbow, pulling him back.

"Dean." he hesitates, unable to pluck up the courage to say in fear that he might say too much. But ever as it happens, it's Dean who easrs him out of his misery with a simple flicker on his eyes and careful smile.om his lips. Castiel relaxes. Dean is still looking deeply in his eyes. "I want some."

"Want something from me?" Dean licks his lips, then raises both eyebrows when Cas eyes empty glass he's holding. "Oh." and Dean laughs in embarassment for some reason, the flush color on his cheeks gives Cas a wonderful view of his tanning freckles.

"Wanna drink with me?"

"Yeah, so bad, I'm thirsty for you."

Dean is in love with him and the hunter isn't even trying to hide it anymore. These are the thoughts that played across Castiel's mind as he sit with Dean in the library, listening to Deam praise him, Dean giving him all his attention and Dean being just too endearing.

Tried as he might not to fall for it like when Dean was praying to him in Purgatory, Castiel can't help gazing back with the same contentment and joy. Overflowing happiness of just sitting here, talking and talking like they haven't spoken to each other in years.

And the best part?

Dean's smiling unbiddenly with eyes just taking in Castiel. He sees the way Dean catches him smile, the way Dean's cheeks blushes. Castiel was glad there was a table between them or he was afraid what his instincts might do on impulse with Dean being like that.

He wants to kiss him. Instead, grabs his glasses without really drinking. He just listens to Dean's voice. Listen to Dean talk to him and it reminds suddenly of his fear of losing everything.

He realizes there's too little time to be with Dean so he memorizes everything. He memorizes a lot, even the exact moment Dean throws that wonderful look and raises a glass in his direction.

Cas' heart leaps in the air and he too is smiling and loving Dean so much, the only pull back to his heart when they toasted is the fact he can't tell Dean.

He wouldn't think about it for now. He too has faith in his choice and that is Jack. He is choosing Jack. Jack who is the answer to Castiel's crumbling faith whenever he thinks of the number of ways he can lose Dean.

"Hey."

Castiel looks up. He didn't notice Dean already standing in front of him. The angel blinks.

"What?"

"I was just telling Jody good night. She just called, asking how everybody is... And i told her I'm a very good kid today. She told me I'm drunk." Dean pouts.

"You want me to detoxify you?" Castiel tilts his head inquiringly. Dean stares with heavy eyes.

"Yeah, may need to drive."

"Where are you going?" Castiel frowns, a hand already raised. Dean blinks then slowly levels his eyes on the angel sitting in the chair.

"Somewhere. I feel happy, you see... But sad too... So I already spent my happy here with you. Time to go crush the bad. So driving."

"Why are you sad?" he cups Dean's face in alarm, his little world on his hand. So he wasn't mistaken. Behind Dean's eyes...

"It's okay..." Dean smiles, "Everyone's a little sad inside."

"Why?" he insists.

A long pause. Dean blinks slowly.

"Can't be together, you and I... So i gotta... Uh... Have to deal the sad without you...if we can't be together..."

"But we're together here."

Dean shakes his head. "I'm choosing. So are you. In the end we're gonna... I'm gonna have to deal with myself alone. There's no you out there. I have to prepare."

"Dean, what the hell are you talking about?" he hears him but he cannot understand him. Dean kneels in front of him all of a sudden, both hands taking Castiel's hands and clasping them with his own. The look Dean gives him after that is pure and honest, like souls bursting of its true form.

"I'm saying I understand why you can't... We can't. I understand it's the world or us... And that's not even a choice. I'm saying I understand you're the only angel who can save the world. So i want you to do it without holding back. Without thinking about whether I live or die. I want you to do that, Cas."

Castiel gasps. He sees no doubt in Dean's eyes. Watches as Dean brings his hand to his lips gently.

"Me dying doesn't compare to the world, Cas. So dont worry about me or Billie or whatever hell. You got your hands full, I got mine. So... i gotta drive."

Castiel sighs, then kisses Dean on the forehead. Clarity returns in the green eyes that blinks at him in surprise. Then Castiel stands up, nearly knocking Dean on his feet.

"I'm going with you."

"No, Cas. This is not the point-"

"I don't understand the point alright. I don't." Castiel grabs Dean's collar, sharp eyes full of meaning. "Don't make me understand why after everything... why after everything I've done, I'm still not going to be allowed to stay with you. I won't understand. And if this universe insists that? They're going to have to make a different bargain because I want you at the end of the road, Dean. It's you I think about when I think of win. And when that happens, I'll tell you loud and clear. I'll tell you what you already know. What I can't tell you now. I will. And it's not goodbye. So hold on to me. I will always find you. Do you believe me?"

It takes one smile from Dean and their foreheads pressing together.

"I believe you, Cas." ✨

#aww that turned out sweeter #cas x dean coda #destiel ficlet #i believe in destiel #cas x dean #cas x dean fic #destiel cas x dean #castiel #dean winchester

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cow3survivor · 3 years

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Ep. 6: “So Many Ways This Could Backfire” - Jennet

JENNET

so the plan worked out great except jabari said that “now jake will know the truth” in front of daisy and the other tribemates🥺 i was hoping that i could pin this on lindsay so that once we merged i could lie about it and have lindsay be out next before the merge... this is truly sickening idk what to do

(a little later)

feeling really bad... is it my fault that jake forced me into a f3 with jabari who ive barely spoken with??? idk i feel like not only did i betray her but i betrayed a black woman and that makes me sick to my stomach.... hoping that i made the right choice and this propels me further in the game🥺 i honestly hated having to do that but maybe if ethan and sam have tribal connections left, when we merge, maybe we will be able to stick together and he’ll also help connect me

JESSICA

I GOT THE IDOL! It is good for 4 rounds and I still have my vote. And just in time as we are swapping into 3 tribes of 5 like I thought..... wow my psychic abilities! Jabari got voted out at tribal and I'm sad. I didn't know her but I think she was new to orgs and I really wanted to play with her! Plus she volunteered to do the tiebreaker for her tribe so I thought they'd keep her due to that. Time for a swap lets kick this game into gear!

JENNET

hoping jake isnt on the same tribe as daisy or lindsay

(a little later)

also hoping im on a tribe of winners so i never make it to tribal bc i DEFINITELY was/am the weakest link☠️

MIKEY

so. I FUCKING HATE THIS NEW TRIBE. THEY PICKING OFF ALL THE GOOD ORIGINAL CALUMMA MEMBERS AND MY GIRL JABARI LITERALLY JUST LEFT??? FUCK YOU JENNET. I KNOW THIS IS BECAUSE OF YOU! But anyways, its me and jake vs all OG (insert other tribes name) and i think I'm going next lool fuck ME. this is very sad indeed and idk im upset but ima try my mf hardest

JAKE

https://youtu.be/OzrGekDCG8I xoxo gossip girl

JENNET

jones and ethan on my tribe?? *blushes sm*

(a little later)

nervous about this tribe... ive pulled off three blindsides that ive helped orchestrate so if like if someone really wanted to look deeper into it.... they would be able to make a target out of me bc of it. definitely worried

(after cooking a fish)

this is basically an allstar team. everybody on here is a heavy hitter and that makes me worried bc if i wasnt the weakest link before, i definitely am now. wishing we had gotten rid of lindsay instead of jabari bc we just made another team stronger but it is what it is i guess

JONES

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbTUvzatQrw

JESSICA

Today's song is "Ribs" by Lorde because I have played it on repeat all morning. Also I forget if I said for my last confessional but that song was "Sober", also by Lorde. Basically I love Lorde and my life is better because of it. This swap worked out super well for me! I really said in my host chat "Could I please be put on a tribe with Shane and Daisy?" and the hosts simply said "Okay". I have my final 3 back together and we also have Lindsay and Lovelis. Lindsay seems really cool so far and Lovelis and I have a good thing going so I feel very confident on this tribe. I really hope we do not lose because honestly? I don't want to vote out Lindsay at all. I like that she is active and she seems like someone who really is putting in effort whereas Lovelis, as much as I like him, just really hasn't been here. I would rather play this game with people who are more active so to me it's like.... Lindsay is absolutely not the obvious vote if we lose. Not even a bit! I'd love to do with her what I did with Mikey and make a separate f2 so that when we merge, she's someone who will keep the target off of me. I didn't tell my alliance about the idol because honestly I just don't anticipate using it at all. It expires so soon and I really only took it so that no one else would end up having it. Also.... I don't know, I didn't tell them right away because I was a bit busy at the moment we swapped and now it feels suspicious if I do tell them? Also who knows, maybe they would not find my story believable and think I have an idol up to final 5 which I just don't want! I'd rather throw the idol into the sea so it causes no problems. This immunity challenge is an interesting one. If I knew what was in the boxes, I would probably bet more, but I bet some of those boxes have bad things or nothing in them and I simply do not want that. If I had to guess, one has the other half to that idol, one probably has an idol clue, another maybe has extra idol searches.... maybe another has an idol nullifier? Or a vote peek? Really none of these are things that I need. They're all cool but I'd rather be immune thanks! As far as how I feel in the game, I really do want the Maples to be f3. I'd rather be at the end with my alliance and lose than flip and be there without them. Ummmm what other thoughts do I have.................... I think that might be it. My mind is empty but I'm still moving forward.

LINDSAY

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1L5Nzch65XLD_njxnIxLKwqUs5vqXcYot/view?usp=drivesdk

JESSICA

Also if we lose this immunity....... I'll be mad because I bet 0 on everything and I am STAYING that way!

JENNET

feeling increasingly bad for voting out jabari /:: idk it doesnt sit right with me in the grand scheme of things. obviously its a game but the fact that i genuinely upset somebody to that extent is so sick. idec that we’re going to tribal, i want to be voted out

ETHAN

3 tribals in a row... I don't for a freaking second believe that Jones and Nicol "made a mistake" with their bidding. This feels like throwing, and if it is, it means that: 1. they feel comfortable enough with Jennet to have a majority 2. they feel comfortable enough with Pete to have a majority 3. it doesn't matter anyway, they now have 2 boxes and potentially an idol or two they could use Either way, this is a freaking sucky situation, and Pete is being super sketchy. People keep making bad play after bad play so honestly, it is hard for me because I keep assuming that they will be doing all of these things to throw the wool over my eyes when they actually aren't doing anything.

JENNET

im annoyed im frustrated and im angry... why were so many points used?

(a little later)

here i am... again... in the middle guys vs girls.... um this sucks bc like me ethan pete didnt use alot of points and nicole and jones did so thats like sucky bc initially i wanted pete gone but like now theres no reason for it to be him

(after soaking in the sun)

nicole says that pippa told her to wait to see whats in the box, so that could mean tribal or that could wait next round. or what if its a comeback power? i literally have no idea what to do

(after making a pillow out of leaves)

okay so the plan is, we get to tribal. me ethan and pete vote for nicole. jones and nicole vote for pete. nicole uses immunity on herself, pete goes home. there are so many ways this could backfire and honestly if it sends me home than im okay with that. i just hate going to tribal so many times in a row

MADISON

I AM FREE FROM MY BROOKESIA PRISON. Current tribe dynamic on Furcifer: me/Sammy have been on the same tribe this whole time, me/Sammy/Jake were just on swap Brookesia, and i know Sam from OG Brookesia so the only person i'm just now meeting is Mikey and that stresses me out so much less than if we had merged or something. My gut is telling me that the idol is long gone and searching might just get me annoyed before it gets me an idol. On the upside, i still have time to find one if it's it out there because i highly doubt I'll be in trouble anytime soon the way my tribe keeps winning everything. ALSO: i only said that i thought Calumma would lose because Shane was on that tribe and i just felt like he would go big or go home but that's an issue to address when our paths cross again. If our tribe ends up going to tribal sometime soon, i would hope it would be the obvious choice to vote Mikey seeing as how i know him the least but idk maybe thats wishful thinking i dont want it to come to that.

SAMMY

Mikey has my heart on this tribe....YUP I really just wanna keep all the fun ppl...im missing daisy:// umm I did not bid on a single thing and I kind of regret it but also??? At least I am safe from tribal...but damn I really should have bid huh? Anyways not much is going on...ready to start playing a more individual game tho hehe

SHANE

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1-WUq5wfYK3Xb1Y-KNZptfyagwvSff4cd

NICOLE

I cannot believe I risked being voted out only to NOT BE ABLE TO PLAY NEXT IMMUNITY!!!!!!! what a round, I'm so sad. But I hope I stay.

DAISY

from f15 https://youtu.be/-_meWPNctO0

PETE

it’s literally... dude.. why can’t i just float to a merge whyyYYYYYYYYyyYyYyyyYyYy does it AAAALWAYS have to be so COMPLICATED like this is it this is the time im mufuckin ouutttiiieeeeeee that challenge was clearly thrown so like ✌🏼 it was fuuuun i hope y’all liked me enough to bring me back for whatever the next chameleon returnees thingy is uwu

(after being attacked by bees)

i know i’m paranoid and every tribal i feel sick to my stomach but nobody has talked to me today, except ethan about how fucked we are, it’s half an hour before tribal and no one really seems like they want to work with me. i still haven’t heard a name

TRIBAL COUNCIL

youtube

PETE EXIT INTERVIEW

youtube

#cowsurvivor #confessionals

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societysoutcome · 6 years

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i’m ranting

you are moving soon and i dont exactly know when. i want to ask someone who would know but i dont want it to be weird and i want to text you and ask. i want to say goodbye. before anything i did consider you one of my best friends i told you nearly everything. i want to write a long letter that will probably be what i posted the other day. i know i cant but i want to be able to kiss you goodbye one last time and give you a hug one last time but i know i cant. i know i cant because you moved on. you dont feel the same anymore, probably never even actually felt the same but you know what i mean. i want our moments back. i hate that while you were here, we both ignored each other as much as possible. i wont send this one because im talking about kissing you and shit but we arent a thing anymore so like oof. basically im still really mad at you for being a huge ass but at the same time i dont want you to go and i wish we could have had these two months together as friends or as whatever we were. god we could have done so much there were so many times when i wish you were here. the first day of our junior year i was the first time we had seen each other since everything fell apart and we just kept walking. on that day i wish thing had been how they were a month earlier. i was talking about driving you to school and being able to hang out and go on dates after school. we never got to do everything we had planned. our movie nights, perks, breakfast club, hell just going to the mall with your sister, breakfast at my house with everybody you finally having to meet my mom and my dad, actually becoming official. guess its just what you never wanted but its what i wanted sorry if that sounds selfish. i dont want you to go this is the time we had both been dreading for so long but in reality i dont have a reason to hate this. im not anything to you anymore except some old memory, i wish thats how i felt or what i should have stayed to you all those months ago. this is all so pathetic how much i let this happen. we were never even together yet i got so attached to you. and holy shit the day you made a joke about that after we ended whatever we were got me so upset. i forgot what we were talking about and you said “but we were never even together” but it was in the format of the dumb spongebob memes when he is mocking somebody. i think that is when i realized you started to lose feelings before we ended anything because you were able to make jokes like that so easily. thats when i knew i hadnt been anything to you for a while. i think these rants are helping but then i read over them and i get sad cause i still miss you. fuck you.

#ramblings #fuck you #love #im sad

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