#its 2am and im having Thots
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I just know Peter Parker would eat you out like a man starved
Minors DNI. I mean it.
He'd start by kissing both your knees gently, little pecks so full of love and devotion
Then he'd open your legs a little. He'll place a kiss on the inside of your knee, a little sloppier and wetter
He can smell you and it consumes his thoughts. His mouth gets so watery just at the thought of your taste
He'll start placing more kisses on the inside of your thigh. He'll lick the skin, then suck on it to form a little bruise
The marks won't stay longer than a day but it's like a map to his meal
The inside of your thigh is sparkling with his saliva, and the closer he gets to your core, the sloppier his kisses
By the time he reaches your cunt, your upper inner thigh is dripping from his kisses
He'll look up at you with the biggest eyes, so full of admiration. He can't believe he has you, and that you're letting him do this
He'll kiss your mound, breathing in your scent until he's intoxicated
Then he'll move down to your clit, giving it little pecks
He'll kitten lick it while looking up at you, taking in every reaction and sound you make
Soon enough he can't take the teasing and just starts devouring your clit
He'll spit on it and slurp up his mess, hum against you because he loves your taste so much. The vibration is euphoric
He almost cums untouched in his pants when you grip his hair and practically ride his face
His tongue moves down to your entrance to suck up your leaking juices. You almost made a small puddle on the floor, but he's thirsty and didn't miss a drip
He has to snake an arm over your hips to keep you from moving too far from his mouth. It's a little too much and too little at the same time
Peter wants his fingers in you but that's for later so he's keeping them curled into your hip and thigh, flexing and gripping so hard its leaving bruises
Sometimes he won't pull back for breath until his vision is clouding over and he's getting lightheaded. He'll happily suffocate from eating you out. Tears fill his eyes from lack of oxygen
The sounds his mouth makes 😳🥵🥴
You couldn't feel embarrassed if you wanted to. His mouth is sucking the soul out of your body
His knees are screaming but he couldn't care less. This is his absolute favorite meal. The crease in his eyebrows telling you he's concentrating so hard
He creates a suction with his mouth and licks your clit. It has you pulling his hair and arching your back
This man is seeing Heaven when he looks up and sees your face in pure bliss
When you cum, he uses his thumb to rub circles on your clit so his can lick up your juices. He doesn't stop until you force him away from overstimulation
Then he's licking his lips from anything that remained
He'll give you a minute or two before he's on you again for round two. This time he'll fuck you with his fingers
#its 2am and im having Thots#peter parker#peter parker imagine#peter parker smut#peter parker fanfiction#peter parker fic#peter parker x you#peter parker x reader#spiderman#spider man#marvel#marvel fanfiction#marvel fic#marvel smut#andrew garfield#tom holland#toby maguire#mandi writes#parkermunson#1k
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okay.
#2am mutuals are asleep post wtnv live show reactions#first off the whole foods bit was hilarious#i still can't decide if i love or hate kevin#also daniel literally deserved his death and it was funny good for khoshekh#and cecils little 'i want carlos to come home' 🥺🥺#its so much sadder knowing abt the old oak doors#and erika is an icon?? holy shit??#but carlos being trapped outside :(( because hes not from night vale :((( bruh#he better get home soon stg im so invested in this#but where is he rn if they closed the doors and he's not in night vale or the other desert?? many thots#carlos telling cecil he loves him ended homophobia <3#wtnv#wtnv spoilers#gabe.txt#also the faceless old woman that secretly lives in your home should have won the election#but i trust dana too#edit: oh and since carlos said they can still talk every night im fully expecting to hear their cute conversations 😤😤#we've earned it after carlos almost dying multiple times
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once again Emotional over c!sam being an actual good person to c!tommy
#watching tommys vod from two days ago and man..#sam keeping up the sam nook bit to help tommy and also give him an opportunity to be a kid again#like hes giving tommy a chance to be a kid while also defending him and tubbo to the ends of the earth#like dude..#sam understands tommy and his trauma and tries to alleviate this kid from having to constantly be thrown in the middle of serious shit#he gives tommy the attention he has previously gotten from lashing out and gives him an opportunity to be a kid#also gives him the validation that previous adult figures in his life never gave him#like tommy would go to phil or wilbur constantly to get their approval and they would never give him that#but sams here giving him that approval freely and encouraging tommy to do positive things w his time#i just :((((#its 2am and im losing it over tommy finally having a fucking decent adult in his life#all of this is /rp btw i realize i didnt clarify that rip#mcyt tag#dumbass thots#cracked at the craft mom friend#bitch boy#finn liveblogging: tommyinnit
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being into polygon and also butch is a wild time bc sometimes you just see an image of pat gill and go :/ wanna look like dat
#galoomba posts#long haired bdg is also relevent here#idk man i will never have long hair again i refuse#but sometimes i see Men with longer hair and just :/#wish i could have longer hair and still look masc#yanno?#same with brutalmoose if yall know that funky dude#i thought i was into bdg for a brief while and had like. a massive crisis over it#but as it turns out!! nope!! you just wanna look like that bastard man#its 2am and h idk man just saw a gif set of pat and had a :/ moment#a :/ wish i had a flat chest babey kinda mood#so i thot i would make a relateable post for the teens#anyway#goodnight#oh also#i KNOW being butch is more than looking butch#but yanno what im saying#also being nb. a nb transmasc butch. rlly makes u think.#i see a flat chest and i /yearn/ but. like in a 'i want one' way
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Sometimes, when you fuck up really badly, the only thing you can do is accept it happened, do better, and move on for your own damn sanity.
#its 2am and im thinking thots#ahahah get it#but in all seriousness#i have been sucha flawed human#and this past year alone i have learned so much#unlearned so much#im proud of myself for all the effort ive taken#to stop myself from being so cold and callous#that ive finally opened myself up#and finally let myself be optimistic#i try not to worry about other peoples wants for me#just my wants for me#and i dont care what people think about me anymore#i dont let their fear press down on me anymore#its so fucking freeing#to just be yourself#with no obligations to anything else#just be you#thats it#and being gentle to yourself when youve made a mistake#when you've done something not good for you#or not good for someone else#to just be genuinely kind to people you care about#instead of worrying about all these noises i used to worry about#droning to do things#to not trust#no more#im free now
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the ;( smiley is so weird like... i just examined him proper... who sad winks
#like imagine pouting and being like ;( tho#im sad but like ;(;;;;;.#hm ;(#;(#i cant get over it rn#hahah#what am i doing#its two am and i have nothing betetr to do than to....extensively think about the meaning of this smily...#but like im sure its almost always an accidental wink#haha imagine being sad and winking by accident it be like so..#confusing#evil almost lol#thots#2am thoughts#Apple The Fruit
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i think i might redo all my about nd w/e coz ive not rly touched it since i did it
#i probly sound stupid on it coz its from when i was dead stupid coz i thot it was funny#like it is funny im still stupid#why do i pretend 2 b an idiot ive just realised thts like a massive part of my personality#omg what the hell#anyways after realising that massive bombshell#fghgnhfhg#im not redoing my pages now coz its 2am#why do i keep giving myself stuff 2 do its not even fixing my being bored im just putting evrything off 2 b bored#i have the worst habits any1 could have#it speaks#anyways night im going 2 bed luv u xxx
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im so fucking tired but this thot just came into my head so i must share: its 2am, you’re dreaming away in clyde’s sheets and you’re so exhausted & your clit is throbbing. he can smell you so he kisses your neck softly & slips his hand into your panties and coaxes you into the most soft & intimate orgasm that has you in tears because he is so good to you and you are so in love with him. you fall asleep satisfied and with him curled around you.
Have this thought, from my brain to yours
The frustrated whimper in your throat is hard to hide, in the quiet dark of the night.
Sleep tugs at you; pulls you back and forth between waking moments and the relief of sleep. The stiff throb of your clit is enough to ache as his knot fills you - dreams and reality blurring as you thrust against the mattress, trying desperately to gain some friction as the dream flutters over your eyelids.
“S’alright,” Clyde coos; breath wisping over the nape of your neck as he whispers into your ear. “Shhhh, just...relax for me, darlin’. Nice ‘n’ slow.”
Thick fingers stroke at your dripping cunt with a painfully soft touch; gathering up the slick dripping from your core and pushing it back up deeper into you.
Your whimper is louder, now. Begging as you throb, Clyde’s fingers curling as he finds just the right spots.
You can’t help but rock against him, breathless in the sheets as his hard chest fits to your bare back.
“You’re okay,” Clyde murmurs, kissing at the base of your jaw, “good dream, hmm?”
Shivering, you nod as his slicked index finger rubs tight circles in your clit.
“Too good.”
Clyde’s arm tightens, and you can’t help but feel electricity crack through you at the hard pressure of his cock against the small of your back.
“Heat’s comin’. You’re smellin’...” he takes a shaky breath, “real good. So good, sweetheart.”
All you can do is whimper - bucking against his fingers as you try to find relief. So close, now, so close as he brings his thumb up: pushes hard and fast and--
“Clyde--!” you gasp, pussy tightening and clenching as it tries to draw him deeper. His hushing voice so gentle; coaxing you through the orgasm until every inch of your body is wrung dry. Exhausted and beautifully sated: you sob quietly, tears running over the planes of your cheekbones.
Clyde nuzzles into your neck; sighing as his cock drips against your skin.
“Good girl,” he whispers, lips brushing your nape. “Go back to sleep, darlin’. Gonna be needin’ your rest.”
You sniffle, feeling light as you’ve ever been.
“Love you so much, Clyde.”
“Love you more.”
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one expensive can of easy cheese
crack head hours my kids
also inspired by a hot guy i saw at walgreens today
the walgreens chaos returns
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ship: ralbert
genre: crackhead angst
words: who knows, not super long
warnings: mentions of a twine kink, easy cheese, concussions, walgreens, race thinks another guy is hot, uhhh, hot men in scrubs, minor bits of violence, new yorkers been new yorkers, albert is a dumbass, race is more of a dumbass
editing: nah
_____
Race was sat on top of the counter in his and Albert’s apartment, a piece of duct tape over his mouth and his hands tied together with kitchen twine. He sighed against his restraints, resigned to watch his boyfriend make their contribution to this year’s Thanksgiving gathering: mac and cheese.
Now, of course everyone and their mother knew that mac and cheese was not a Traditional Thanksgiving Food. But, Albert had won (best out of three) mario kart yesterday so he had gotten to decide what they would bring to Jack’s house. Had Race known that he had been planning to make mac and fucking cheese, maybe he would have tried a little harder.
Apparently, Albert was not pleased with Race’s reaction to his decision to make mac and cheese, and thought that Race might try to get in the way somehow (which he may or may not have fully intended to do). So he did what any loving boyfriend would: sat him on the counter, put duct tape over his mouth and tied his hands together so he wouldn’t interfere.
Race was beginning to wonder why he had agreed to move in with Albert in the first place.
With a violent shake of his head and one final spat, he was able to dislodge the duct tape.
“Albieeeeee,” he whined, laying down on the counter. “Can you pleaaaaaaaseee let me helllllllllp?”
Albert barely glanced up as he pulled the big wooden spoon out of the pot and gave it a thoughtful lick. “Hmmmmmmm. No.”
“But-!” He wriggled around to give Albert his best puppy dog eyes. “Can I make something else then? Ple-OW!” He glared at the spatula that had been hurled at his arm. “You apologize for that!”
“Nah.” He smirked and went back to stirring his wretched pasta. Well, actually Albert’s mac and cheese was quite good. Race was just salty that he was making it for Thanksgiving when it was very well known that he was the chef of the two and Jack was expecting something good not the mac and cheese Albert famously made at 2am in college when they were all high as hell.
“Can you at least untie me then?”
“No.” Albert even bother considering this time.
“Well.” If logic wasn't going to work on Albert he would have to try another method. “I know you know how to make a guy feel good Albie, but I never expected ropes to be a part of it. What’s next? Handcuffs? Whips? Chains?”
In two seconds flat Race was out of his kitchen twine bonds and flexing his sore wrists.
“Man Albie, who knew you had a twine kink.”
“You know,” Albert began loudly, as if thinking that his loudness would cover up his totally obvious twine kink, “if you want to do something that's actually useful, you could go to Walgreens and buy me another can of Easy Cheese.”
“Is that what you put in your fuckin mac and cheese?” Race swore he actually felt bile rise in the back of his throat when Albert nodded. “That’s it. I’m never eating your mac and cheese again.”
“But-!”
“I’ll eat you though,” Race winked, taking a moment to enjoy the startled, yet somehow pleased look on his boyfriend’s face.
“Not until after we’re done at Jack’s.” Albert said only half jokingly as he dug around in his pocket for a second before throwing a crumpled five at Race. “In the meantime though, be gone thot!”
Race barely managed to catch the bill without falling on the floor, but still blew a kiss to Albert before walking out of the apartment.
Who the fuck puts easy cheese in mac and cheese? He wondered for the millionth time as he stomped the three blocks to Walgreens. Albert claimed that he had chosen his apartment for its proximity to the store, but up until today Race had always assumed that he had been joking. The man did make a lot of mac and cheese and if Easy Cheese was an ingredient well….maybe there was some truth to that story after all.
Race pulled open the door to the Walgreens, pausing briefly to wonder why the absolute fuck it was open on literal Thanksgiving before remembering that it was a fucking Walgreens and why wouldn’t it be open to sell his dumbass boyfriend a can of fucking Easy Cheese.
In order to get to the Easy Cheese, or at least he assumed so because he had never bought a can of Easy Cheese in his whole glorious 25 years of life, Race had to walk past the Pharmacy section of the store. And, it just so happened that there was a guy sitting behind the counter at the Pharmacy. A very attractive guy. With a beard. In scrubs.
Now, of course Race loved Albert and nothing would ever change that, but he could appreciate an attractive man when he saw one. He thanked whatever deity was out there for the bit of man candy that he had been granted and went in search of his Easy Cheese.
“Mac and cheese, velveta cheese, microwaveable mac and cheese, where the fuck is the- oh thank fuck there we go.” He pulled a can of Easy Cheese off of the shelf, tossing it once and catching it before turning to go pay for the horrendous product, happy to finally be done with the whole ordeal when-
“Easy cheese? Really?”
Race whirled around to see Mr. Man Candy himself leaning against the opposite shelf. “Wh- who?”
“Oh,” he dusted his hand off on his scrubbs, “allow me to introduce myself. My name is Brett O’Hare. And you, sir, are a disgrace to society. The very reason why so many Americans are in poor health in this day and age.”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“The Easy Cheese!” Brett gestured wildly toward the can in Race’s hand. “Gosh do you even know how many preservatives are in that stuff? And all the cancers that it can cause? It’s terrible. We wouldn’t need free healthcare if people just stopped eating Easy Cheese!”
Race had lived in New York City his whole life, and he had seen some pretty strange things, but never had he seen a pharmacist in a Walgreens lecture anyone about the health benefits of Easy Cheese.
“So let me get this straight,” Race rubbed his head, trying to make sense of the situation. “You go around yelling at people about the ingredients in the things that they are purchasing?”
“Yeah.”
“You do realize that this is a Walgreens, right? Everything in here probably contains some kind of chemical.” New Yorkers never ceased to amaze him.
“All the more reason for me to inform them of their poor eating habits!” Brett pointed a finger at him. “And stop distracting me! You’re the one buying the freaking easy cheese here!”
“It’s not even for me!” Race shouted back. “It’s for my boyfriend’s fucking mac and cheese that he insisted on making for Thanksgiving even though everyone knows that mac and cheese is not a fucking Thanksgiving food and he’s only making it cause he knocked me off the goddamn rainbow road right before the fucking finish line!” Race was fuming but the time that he was done.
“Oh, man I’m so sorry, that's lousy.”
Race looked surprised. Of all the things that he thought he would get out of this Walgreens experience, a therapy session was indeed not on the list. But neither had been hearing a lecture about the preservatives in Easy Cheese from a pharmacist.
“But that doesn’t change the fact that you’re still buying Easy Cheese!” Between one second and the next, Brett had grabbed the can of Easy Cheese out of Race’s hand, wielding it like a brick. “Buy some fucking vegetables!”
And with that, he struck Race over the head with the can of Easy Cheese.
Now, Race had definitely done some questionable things during his life. Once he had slept on the roof of his dorm building in January for a week because he lost his dorm key, and another time he had been tricked into making an entire wedding cake using salt. However, being smacked over the head with a can of Easy Cheese by a health nut in scrubs on Thanksgiving put any and all other situations he had been in to shame.
He opened his eyes, suddenly blinded by the lights, and reached for his phone, muttering curses about man candy and vegetables. Squinting so he didn’t have to look at the screen, he somehow managed to dial Albert.
“Racetrack Higgins, where is my Easy Cheese?”
Race pulled the phone away from his ear and winced at the sound of his boyfriend’s voice. “Um, it may have been used to give me a concussion by a health nut in scrubs?”
Albert let out a loud sigh. “Ah man, did you run into Brett? That guy’s the worst.”
“Wait, you know him?”
“Race, I know every Walgreens employee in Manhattan, of course I know Brett.” There was the jangling of keys in the background. “I thought I told you to go to the one on 4th for this reason, ah, well. I’m on my way. I’ll take you to urgent care. Hang tight.”
Race’s head hurt too much to process what Albert had said except for the words ‘I’m on my way.’ “Okay,” he sighed.
“Love you.”
“Love you too.” Race’s eyes focused on the dented can of Easy Cheese rolling on the floor. “And Al?”
“Yeah?”
“This is going to be one expensive can of Easy Cheese.”
______
that was a ride
feedback is always appreciated hmm if you wanna be on the tag list
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#saphie scribbles#newsies#newsies fic#ralbert#racetrack higgins#albert dasilva#walgreens au#i hate my branding thanks#this actually came out good#im surprises#happy thanksgiving my kids
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thots:
it’s like 2am and for some godforsaken reason i am not only awake, but motivated. either a) i pull an all-nighter and go to sleep at 5pm tomorrow or b), i go to sleep at 5am and fuck up tomorrow’s plans. we will see who perserveres
(probably option A, because i have a lot of shit i need to do tomorrow)
where did the party go? is probably one of fall out boy’s best songs. not THE best song, but certainly the best song of save rock and roll.
whether baby spanch’s food will stay where it is will depend on multiple factors. we’ll see how it holds up
adhd brain hungry but only for smoothie. it is 2am. my roommates are all asleep. pls help.
show tunes are good its just that a lot of theater kids are fucking insufferable bastards, just as court decisions are interesting to read but pre laws are genuinely the most annoying people on the fucking planet, and math isn’t that bad but stem majors don’t deserve rights
i cannot wait until this fucking ringworm is gone oh my god. i have dropped over $200 on clotrimazole and medicated shampoo and im so fucking done with this SHIT and so is baby spanch
michigan weather is in peak Dumb Shit season so whether or not i come down with a cold within the next 7 days is up to god and jesus
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im too horny to be making asexual characters even tho i myself am asexual. everyone has to be a thot to make up for me being unable/unwilling to have the sex
sorry for tmi its 2am let me be horny on main. i miss my p0rn blog
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It isn’t really good or bad it’s just pointing it out lol what do you think of janis tho?
its 2am and i wasnt very familiar with her prior to receiving all these asks but i skimmed her wikipedia page and here are my immediate #thots: i think she seems really neat! the one thing that really stood out to me was her being bullied for and having extreme struggles with acne because im on a lot of meds/creams/prescription facials for acne and acne scars and she was voted “ugliest man” in college. in high school people made a group chat where they sent pics of me for being ugly so its cool to see someone not really conforming to beauty standards and stuff. also her being bisexual is really cool too
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8:11am.
Its Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday.
Everybody's lookin forward, tooo theeeee weeeeekeeeeend.
Friday, February 26th of 2020.
I woke up feeling terrible as fuck and ready to kill myself, but moreso the latter is just caused by sleep deprivation.
I went to bed at 2am last night, since Marco, (a thot, not a good kind,) waaaaaas trying to pull the classic, "My girlfriend is so abusive, here is a story where I say nothing but the bad things she's done with no grammatical correctness, or accountability or admittal of anything i may or may not have done, anyway lol did i mention ur the best fuck ive ever had before?"
He does this almost every two months, does he get tired?
He got lucky last summer when I agreed to "hang out" with him, since 1) I figured dude needed a shoulder to cry on, 2) if my pussy ends a toxic relationship then the ends justify the means, and 3) he offered to pay for all my food, transportation, and more.
So when you're a lonely girl with an eating disorder and low funds, and all a dude wants is to maybe hold your hand and vent to you about how terrible your life is.... Then it's not bad.
Plus, meeting with him last year lead me to Patrick #1. (People usually hear about how I openly gave my number to another guy while out with Marco and start simpin for Marco, but I usually say a simple, "Marco had a girlfriend, so he couldn't be mad about it", to shut them up while disgusting them further.)
So here it is, a year later and I'm lonely again. This time, not broke or desperate. Horny? I mean, to an extent, but Marco wouldnt be my first option. Not too into the idea of a short chubby guy putting his chode in me in missionary position, surprise surprise!
Well, then again, I do wanna have sex again. Now that I no longer can plow my ex, for his ultimate crime of being attractive but a massive toolbag, then weeeeell...... I should still have sex anyway? Why feel guilty? I'm single, and Patrick #2 made it clear he never wants to see me again. (How ironic.)
Agh.
Anyway, Marco said a few choice words that he could've kept to himself. Realizing I wouldn't bang him, or not without inherently getting something beneficial in return, he proceeded to say "By the way, you're no longer the best fuck ive ever had. Lol."
He must've realized this is a baaaaaad thing to say to a girl who is not your girlfriend, sincr he followed it up by "Godly, but not great. Saula holds that position. But its only good on LSD, so, lol"
Still not polite, so I told Marco, "Hey I'm so tired so I'm probably gonna go to sleep, but I'll be sure to send your girlfriend a good night text with these screenshots before I do. Gnite"
And before he said anything else, I texted "Done! Have fun talking to her about our conversation in detail from tonight tomorrow morning, without my presence!"
He proceeded to then blow up my phone with texts, angry and distressed and begging not to tell her.
The funny thing is, I didn't tell her anything. I just figured that someone was grimey as him could benefit from the lesson of, "Stop trying to use me for sex/treat me like shit, and stop trying to cheat on your girlfriend."
Whether he stays with her out of love, fear, or a loneliness complex, he still stays. She still stays. He still gaslights her and cheats on her. She still punches him in the throat and leaves him gagging for air. Not a fantastic couple, but they're good at putting on the front of one.
Hell, as Marco texted me an hour before in the evening all about how much of a "toxic bitch" Saula had been, and nearly breaking up with her, since he does not love her...... I literally texted him "Didn't you make a post on Instagram today, saying explicitly that you loved her?"
He sure the fuck did!
Christ, Marco.... A mess, you are.
Anyway.
Love is dead. My ex doesnt think about me any more. Azalea probably does, but who cares. Marco wants to cheat. I want to eat. And frankly, i think im starting to care less about moral rights and wrongs either way.
Life is stupid. :)
On the bright side, I'm successfully deep cleaning my room. After weeks of sleeping among filth, I decided I'd rather have the energy to leave my bed and do whatever, instead of suffering over my ex and cuddling empty water bottles and--
8:47am. Damn, the laundry pickup person was quick as HELL to arrive. And strong as FUCKKKKKK. I was out of breathe even dragging two of the laundry bags to the door, but the woman working was deadass HULKED OUUUUT, slinging 25 pound bags of laundry over her shoulder and walking down hella stairs with ease.
You're doing amazing, sweetie. Oh my goddddddd.
Anyway; I'm getting my whole wardrobe cleaned. Starting off an early spring with all my sexy summer clothes back in my everyday life, with my peach colored tank tops and summery bright red and orange dresses? Whew chile, the girls are gonna be mad at me this summer.
Ordered hella jewelry, to get my sparkle on. Since I'm tired of missing out on parties, all because of a little "Agh, damn, none of my outfits are popping, and I don't have enough chains and finger rings on to let the girls know that I'm gay. What's even the POINT, MAN?"
And I'm getting my hair done this Monday, as well as some extra clothes I had ordered online.
That's what I call a glow up. Going, "Fuck this shit, I wanna do things with my life, and I can't just lay down to die."
So I called the laundry people, even if I loathed the idea of sorting through all my clothes or paying for service. I just went, "You have a paycheck that you aren't blowing in food, rent, or anything relevant anytime soom. Chill, order the service and get ready".
Tossed out all the junk in my bedroom, and now I just gotta find all my longlost zirconia earrings to look like a bad bitch when my hair, skin, nails, and wardrobe makes me look finer than china this Monday.
(I would put "Bandit Gang Marco - Nasty" here, but Tumblr is tripping. :) .)
Anyway, self care is good.
Other good things to do:
Bake a bunch of goods for my loved ones. The woman nearby is giving away lemons, so now is a better time than ever go to out and give people slices of lemon cake. My family, the homeless, and people I wanna apologize to seem like a good start. Building alliances and feeling good is always super important.
Grocery shopping for myself seems like a good idea. I don't know if I wanna get wine or not, since when I was stressed recently, I was feeling reaaaaaally with-drawal-y about not being able to drink until my body forgets my problems. I should save my potential alcoholism for my 40s, so that I can get a beer gut, low self esteem, and the cleft lip gene WAAAAY after having kids and whatnot......
Fabric shopping! I literally know how to sew, and have two sewing machines. And inheriting an insanely huge bin of patterns from the 1940s to 1990s? Seems great. I loved the looks from those eras.... So, fabric shopping and making my own quality pieces seems better than coughing up my hard earned dough to stuck up shopkeepers who overprice unwanted items. No more fsst fashion, just gonna sew my own shit.
Trying out new restaurants. Best way to make food and meet others.
9:03am.
Now, do I really wanna think about my ex at 9am? I don't think I do, but, I get the feeling I should anyways....
I don't hate him. Not at this point in time. I just loathe his actions, and his reluctance.... At this point, I lost hope for him. Since he never makes smart choices, and it just fucks me over in the end.
The day he got that letter, he could've either told me after reading it the full extent to his emotions and how he really felt toward me, or just let me leave and not say a damn word.
Both would have been smart choices. He could have told me about how he supposedly reciprocated my feelings, and either explained his worries about pursuing things further, or expressing some sort of boundary or request to make things mutually work out. Since frankly, if he was gonna call me and say he was open to more, or at least discussing our issues, i would have stuck around.
Or, the opposite; letting me leave. Knowing he would never truly make the effort, nor want to. Just recognizing that it would have never been enough for me, and letting me leave in silence. Since if I was gonna leave, silence would have shown me that he was satisfied with leaving. And I would've turned out fine. "I left at the right time, since he never would have done more, and the silence proves it" came to mind.
........
He tried to dip his toes into both options at once.
NIGGA, YOU CANT JUST SPRINKLE IN A "sad to see you go, i regret not kissing you, and i love the kiss you left on your letter" and not say jack shit afterwards??????
Oh my gooooooooooood, i was pissed when i had got home.
I cried in my uber once i left his place a bit after giving him the letter, before feeling contented, and happy!
Whoohoo! I successfully ended a relationship in a way that doesn't result in low self esteem, threats of a restraining order, or suicidal thoughts and feelings of worthlessness.
Just to get on my porch and finally see his texts....and feeling very offput by them. Was he mocking me? Flirting? Hinting at feelings? Why say you want to kiss a girl who clearly wants to be left alone by you, a young man, with no emotional consistency and nad habits of lying or purposely distancing yourself from me?
.....
I liked everything. The kissing, the cuddling. But, it was never gonna be enough. Or compare to what we had before, unless there was effort given on both sides.
Like I said in my letter, "its the difference between someone drinking a fresh cup of hot pressed italian coffee, and a stale cup of McDonalds coffee that they microwaved after a week of it sitting inside of their car."
I was getting oral sex and low self esteem. Dick and increased abandonment issues. Occasional movie watching and beachside sitting, but never any intimacy past maybe grabbing his ass occasionally.
Like.... I'm upset that he asked me, "What was missing?"
What wasnt missing, man? There was sex. And maybe watching Battle Royale. But if you compare it to how we used to act around eachother when watching Murder Party, or Evangelion, and the way we used to cuddle buttass naked and talk without being afraid, or overstepping boundaries, or seeming "relationshippy" when it was clear we never would... As good as it is to not give me the vibe of s relationship, it made me realize, "But its what i want".
God.
I wish he never lied that night. I wish there was honesty, and never violence. I wish he never fucking gaslighted me, and didnt just pin every avoidable problem in our relationship, that could have easily been resolved if he made the fucking effort to help.... on ME. (He's got a lot of nerve, thats the thing that pisses me off most. If he told me any of the shit related to any of our original problems when the time called for it, things would have never got so bad. But he put off being honest with me, and I was not happy to find out MONTHS later all the real reasons for shit, that if i knew sooner, would have easily gotten fixed.)
I really love so much about this dude, but his conflict resolution skills are garbage, and he seems a little bit narcissistic, but I dont wanna throw that word around like confetti.
Going to sleep. Night.
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Threes a Crowd
Threes A Crowd
by Noh
You can't have one Kageyama without the other.
Teru learns that the hard way.
( bonus; theres a doodle now )
Words: 751, Chapters: 2/2, Language: English
Fandoms: モブサイコ100 | Mob Psycho 100
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: Gen
Characters: Kageyama Ritsu, Hanazawa Teruki, Kageyama "Mob" Shigeo
Relationships: Hanazawa Teruki/Kageyama Ritsu, Kageyama Ritsu & Kageyama "Mob" Shigeo
Additional Tags: Unrequited Crush, Drabble, Protective Siblings, 2019 Kids, Ritsu's Just Not That Into You, Big Brother Mob Deflects Thots, Crack Treated Seriously, Its 1am and Im losing my mind, after proofreading for 30 mins its now 2am and im losing my mind, CHAPTER 2 IS JUST 1 PIECE OF ART
Read Here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/18323924
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My doctor asked the other day if id been having thoughts of The Great Beyond or harming myself in any way n i sat there like
No ma'am none of those Thoughts
#in actuality i have been having increasingly violent thots abt myself#including but not limited to bashing my head on the wall. putting a screwdriver through my head. removing my face. etc#those are the its 2am and im lonely thots the every day ones are the urge to smack myself in the head a lot#im not mentally healthy and im still on the waiting list for a therapist ✌✌
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alright bitches its 1am time TO FEEL
lol idrk if its gonna be feelsy but ive been thinking aboutthoid since i was at work and i wantto write it down and throw it out this the woeld b4 i forget it?? but i sont hink i will NAYWAY READ MORE??? bc this is gonna be a n incoherent mess and its 1am so idc about seplling anythings thing right ok looooooool
udk what started this, like what lead me to this thought but at work today i was like “MARV IN LOVE!! OH WAIT i t hought of it bc i heard ‘nicotine’ by p!atd andi was like “hey i put this song on ambmarv playlist too,,, i wonder how theyre doing” thne i got to thinking bout marv in love!! and i didnt rmbr [much] of what i had alread ywritten on this blog but i just went off and started thinkin boute when marv relizes he loves amber and my heart SOARD lol then it sank again bc i was like “aw :^( amb if scared to return his feewings bc immortal :^((((” then i started thinking about when marv realizes he loves her , he resolves to tell her!! bc damn it she makes him happy and he wants to make her happy toO!!! he wants to show her how she makes him feel!!! he wants to share his LOVE!!! and at everyopportunity whar he tries to ttell her, she manages to avoid or ignore or change the somthg or realize she has to do smthg over there hahah
THEN I GOT TO THINKING about this idea i had, like one of the first ones i had awhan we firse came op with the ay where amb was gonna go on a date with someone she thot was speciall but it turned out to be her old nemisis making fun of her and she gets rlly drunk and sad and calls marv ovr to her a partment [just for self conttect, i feel like this might take place b4 marv realizes he caught feelings?? but not to far off wither lol] so yeh shes drunk and sad bc guess what!! shes actually a really lonely person!!! she, quote, “CURSED herself to live a lonely unfulfilling life bc she said she wasnt to see the world??” so yeh shes sad bc she cant make meaningful connections with people anymore bc it hurts to much when she outlives them so to avoid this, she doesnt stay in one place for too long anymore but sc of this she also keeps the people she cares most deeply about at arms lenthg bc shes just gonn lleave anagi anyway?? so why bother twih the emotional crapUNLUCKY FOR HER < shes also a very VERY empathetic person and it hurts her more to have to dothis !! so ok shes rambling anf crying on marv and she KISSSSSSSSSSSES HIM >:^0 its a very messy kiss and marvs too shocked to reciprocate bc asfter the kisss she continues to cry and bury her face in his chest, wherein he finds it only necessary to hold he class and stroker har till she falls asleep on him,, marv lays awake for a long time just,, thinking bout all the stuff shes just dumpedon him and how it sorta changes his perspective on her a little,, i mean at this point he cares for her deeply , just as he does sor the reat of his friends, but this sheds a whole new light on her,,, shes more than what she projects to the world,,, tho she aopeats to have all the answers, she i is infact very scared and vulnerable just like the reat of us,, so he probably naps for a few hrs b4 amb SHOOTS UP IN BED when she wakes up, still in his arms. marv being a light sleeper, immediatly notices and thinks somethings worng, “YEAH smthgs wrong, why r u in my bed,, oh god is that my lipstick smudges on ur,, oh god WE DIDT??” “ABSOLUTELY NOT I WOULD NEVER” “GOOD omg,, i barely remember anything that happaened last night afte,r,, ugh ,,, after THEY showed udpd,, guh,, i m sorry for, uh,, botherin g u marv” “ Ohno, it was no bother im glad i could, uh, hlp in a,, small way i guess,,” “yea h,,,,,,,, i didnt say antyhin,,, wierd,, to u last night,,, sis i?” inside marvs head: calculating meme “,,,,,,no, nothing too strange” ANYEAY i kinda went of f onthat tangent lol i didnt ome up with ALL that dialgue thinking at wokr lol bUT HU,, igues thats the start of thingd bceming more? ?for them ....?? alls i kno is htat when marv finally mangaes to cornere amber to have a talk anbotu shifellin s, they have another emotional feels jam and amb admits in i not drunt stupor, that shes scared to allow herself to experince that kind of love again bc “it always hurts, everytime, it hurts” and then they talk bkh balh blah THEY KISS!! CONGRATS UR A THING NO!!
nayway this also lled me to thinkig OH i said b4 that marv had agf in college bUT hmmmm im like whAT IF,, hes neveer had a gf bf4 >:^0 crazy thot i kno but ill sleep on it [and other such thots] and mayhaps sidccus further on thes kiddos that i havent touching in MONTHDS!!!!
OK GOODINGHT!!!
its 2am now
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