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#itll pass. ugh
thesylverlining · 4 months
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this is both the worst shark week AND worst cold of my life (EVERYTHING TASTES AWFUL. NOT JUST DULL, *AWFUL*) and i am COMPLAINING. .i officially HATE THIS. SKIN... STINGING. JOINTS YELLING cannot sit up dizzy and *cramps* fucking HELL this should be illegalllll whyyyYYYYYY like im sorry i really try to keep the chronic pain whining to a minimum (bc it is Always) so when i have Non-Typical Suffering IM GOING TO SCREAM ABOUT THIS. I HATE IT THANKS WE HAD *ENOUGH ALREADY*
also i have important THING TO DO and i cant BRAIN IT i hate. sob. sobbing
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puppyeared · 5 months
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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously
#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to#im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but#because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of#exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something#and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh#and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing#because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant#even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still#its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about#I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird#maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel#a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t#I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to#be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol#idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week#had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting#yapping#does this count as vent#vent#Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly
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t4tnalu · 6 months
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I have periods where I feel self destructive but I rarely do anything about it. Just sit there and think about it.
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mossflower · 6 days
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who even cares about quantum physics i say leave the electrons alone
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pavlien · 3 months
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the pain of fucking despising disney while also living in near orlando with a conservative disney adult aunt n uncle
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sculpydulpy · 2 years
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5am and I just finished fleabag. boy they weren't lyin when they said that priest is hot
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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#Jesus. just finished my interview. no idea how it went#i think it was much too rambling on my part and they asked almost exclusively sciency questions#ugh hopefully i didn't look like a completle moron. the guy was sorta inscrutable so no idea what he thought#and he was like hmm whats ur competition here? and i dont give a fuck abt competition and also it doesnt really matter#fuck. i should have said. it would b fine if they were doing the exact same project bc we would b evolving different strains and it would b#interesting if they evolved even the exact same traits. fuck#i think objectively i probably looked like someone who halfway knows what theyre doing without the specific knowledge#which is exactly true. like mother fuckers ive got a full time job to be overworked in. i dont have time to memorize details of every#pathway change in every desert cyano#uuuuugh its just annoying bc my brain doesnt work well in the moment. i need time to process and knit together an answer#so i wouldnt b surprised if i was ranked low. oh god i was told the interview was prob a formality unless it goes terribly#itll b real embarrassing if i dont get passed this stage now#whatever it was a bit chaotic on their end too bc one guy didnt show up until halfway thru so i kinda had to go back and say things twice#uuuuuuuuuuggh. well that kinda sucked. at least its done. out of my hands now.#i was getting too excited abt it anyway. this will reaffirm my: obviously im not gonna get it vibes#i mean thats what i get for trying to join a very competitive program. like i am not a competitive person#rip to my lab mate who im gonna whine at all day abt this. i have to meet him in less than an hour#welp. there r other schools. god i hope at least one of them accepts me#ugh i just think its kinda annoying they they want u to be perfectly qualified for things lol. like i would need someone to step thru the#lab process with me literally once or twice and then id be good to go#like maybe a couple hours of someones time to remind me. thats it. humans r adaptable#i can obviously carry out a project to its conclusion and i have a lot of passion. not that they asked. but yeah#oh well. i should have breakfast before i freeze in the desert all day#unrelated
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asummersday · 11 months
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toastsnaffler · 11 months
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my graduation is supposed to be in august + im requesting to graduate in absentia but i feel terrible abt it bc im not telling my parents 😑
#just bc if i do tell them they'll probably pressure me into going. and i dont fucking want to its my degree i can celebrate how i like#i wont even be living here in august!! and its a wednesday which is super awkward + im only allowed 2 guests but i have 4 parents lmao#which means i have to choose between my mum and dad. which will end up in hurt feelings either way#and theyre making us pay for our own robes which is stupid bc they literally have like 40k from me already#i cant sit in a stuffy hall through a two hour long ceremony that i wont even be able to hear with no one i know ill commit homicide#no point in doing drinks aftwr bc none of my friends have the same graduation date and i dont drink#like theres not a single reason why i would want to go. so im not going to#but i can already feel how disappointed theyll be.... and theyll be more mad if i dont tell them beforehand but i dont want to debate it!!#ik this is such a stupid thing but its making me stress like hell#ugh#my current plan of attack is not to tell them until they ask abt it and then the decision will be made so they cant do anything abt it#even if theyre upset abt it. but i HATE lying even by omission im the least dishonest person ever this is making me feel sick#and i have to tell them eventually bc ill need to get my diploma delivered to them so arghhhhhh#i technically got my degree over a year ago anyway bc i dropped out this is so dumb#they shouldve just been like sorry no ceremony for dropouts!! and then it wouldnt be my problem#whatever. deadline for registering is at 5 so itll be out of my hands once that passes thank fuck#.diaries#i think im getting unnecessarily worked up abt it bc im just generally in a shitty mood tbh#gonna go for a walk and find somewhere to sit and read outside until i feel more sane i think
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lovrboyx · 1 year
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loneliness in ur 20s is so humiliating its like ooo look at me in the prime years of my life unable to break through the arbitrary social barriers i set for myself why dont you go spend another weekend craving human connection and beating yourself up for going to bed before midnight again. bitch.
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oatbugs · 1 year
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eye pain is the WORST kind . worse than teeth even maybe
#esp when u cant rub ur eyes or itll maoe things worse#typing this w my eyes closed i hope it is comprehensible#anyway whwt the FUCK i am in so much pain from one eye only and its like . im aftaid#the flap they made during frmto lasik has moved or smthb. and itll wont end#bc whenever i open my eyes/blink iy is painful#resolved to do that very rarely . anyway eave me x . avcording to my doctor/surgeon i actually had#a scar that was imperceptible initially on each eye and thats why thos whole thing has been so#excruciatingly painful . like apparently ur notnsupposed to rly feel anythiny in femto lasik but it was#literally the worst pain i have ever felt in my whole life (i have a rly high pain tolerebce due to reasons);#anyway i have a feeling this may be due to the wounds/scars too idk...#also i had fat grafting to fill in my under eyes and like . it was suchba slight procedure and was done when i was under#anaesthesia for another procedure...that i forgot abt it. bc i dont rly touch my under eyes. anyway during lasik they#use this device which puts pressure around ur eye sockets which ahould have been fine#but it was putting a lot of pressure on a newly grafted area of my face and i was like . oh i see ! i want to scream !!!!!#but i couldnt say anything bc it was cutting a hole in my eyes and i was like yeah talking rn is a bad idea. but afterwards the nurse was#like . you look like you are literally going to pass out oh my god are you ok ?? and i told her abt the under eye thing and she was like.#YOUBSHOULD HAVE SAID THAT EARLIER like yeah ik im sorry 😭#personal#anyway lol its fine i just want to rub my left eye sooooo bad it is so . annoying /painful UGH
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thedevotionaltour · 2 years
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the girls are having online anxiety they haven’t felt in a while
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bunnyb34r · 2 years
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Oh for fucks sake man I'm 90% sure I have a kidney stone kill me now man
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princehoseok · 3 days
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i feel so damaged im not even as excited as i could *sigh*
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kaustic · 5 days
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local little guy will get a c for the first time his last semester of college, local guy drowns about it
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