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eternityunicorn · 5 years

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Elijah’s Eternity Part Eleven

Author: eternityunicorn

Genre: Romance/Fantasy/AU

Pairing: Elijah Mikaelson x OC

Warnings: Language, Violence, Smut (*Smut chapters marked +18)

Summary: Elijah Mikaelson didn’t know what to expect when he encountered the strange archer in the night, but he certainly didn’t think his whole world would be turned upside down by it. Yet, he quickly learns that she is more than what she seems, having come looking for an Original after a large spike in supernatural being populations started cropping up on Earth a thousand years ago. Now, he must help her decide if the supernatural community should stay on their home planet or leave it for good? A task that is made more complicated along the way, as his life is changed forever.

NOTE: OC is from my up and coming novel series. Elements from said series also included.

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The vampire clan with whom Elijah was acquainted was lead by a vampire named Adrian Alessandro. He was smart, clever, loyal, and had a natural talent for hiding in plain sight. Elijah had met him through Niklaus, whom had turned the young man of twenty, to serve in any capacity his brother chose. Adrian had agreed to a life of vampirism and servitude in exchange for Niklaus to rescue his human sister from the clutches of the local witches. Of course, his brother agreed and did as promised, gaining a servant that he never truly unitized. This was because soon after, he had grown bored and had moved on from Chicago to other pursuits elsewhere.

Adrian had to carve out his own life then and Elijah had stayed behind to help him do so, building a small community of vampires for Adrian to lead. In the process, they had built an acquaintanceship based on mutual respect. Their partnership lasted a few years. Eventually, however, he too left Chicago to follow his baby brother to some other misadventure. Still, they had kept in touch over the years since, keeping their acquaintanceship intact.

Over the years, Adrian built a business in order to hide in plain sight. Said business came in the form of a night club. There, humans could come in and have a good time, while vampires could host them and feed upon them - without killing, of course. And after compelling away the memories of the evening, the humans could leave and go about their dull little lives. Then the process could start all over again the next night.

The night club as a perfect establishment for Adrian and his lot since none of them had daylight rings to let them wander about in the day. Unfortunately, there wasn’t a witch willing to do so. Therefore, the vampire community had to remain inside the night club during the day.

The club was called Blood Rose. It was located in an nondescript building, hidden and out of the way in the corner of the downtown area of Chicago. It was here that Elijah lead Eternity to.

After returning to the penthouse and letting Eternity come down from her fed upon-induced high, he had requested her to chose a different type of dress, one to adapt to the environment of the club. Therefore, when they rolled up in his Bentley, Eternity was dressed in a short black mini dress and a pair of black pumps that raised her already short height a few inches. She was still much shorted than him, just not quite so much. Going further with his request, she had magical styled her hair into an intricate bun with a few short strands left loose to frame her round face. She wore a diamond necklace and earring set too.

When Elijah had first seen her choice in outfits, he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. She was always beautiful and alluring, but her new look amplified those things ten fold. He momentarily felt jealousy rear up inside him at the knowledge that other men would be looking at her and for the briefest second he had rethought his request. But no, he couldn’t renege. She was playing her part, and adapting as he had wanted her to.

He came dressed as he always did, wearing a black three-piece suit with a purple tie. With Eternity on his arm, he entered the club.

The place was lowly lit with red lights in the long hallway that lead to the main floor. Loud music could be heard all the way at the front of building, but it was a thousand times worse once they reached the double doors that would grant them entrance to the main floor. These types of places weren’t his scene and he had to mentally prepare himself to ensure the noise and nonsense, before going in.

Slipping inside, there were booths lining both walls and tables scattered through the rest. At the very back, there was a large bar area, where drinks were prepped and served to the club goers. Above there were catwalks were scantily dressed women danced to the rhythm of the obnoxious music.

In the booths were human patrons and their vampire hosts. Some vampires were chatting with human guests. Others were feeding. Others still went even further and were having sex with their humans while feeding upon them, right there for all to see.

Elijah ignored them all, while Eternity glanced at a few curiously, as they passed by. He lead them over to a booth that was occupied by only one vampire: Adrian.

Adrian was a tall, youthful man with unkept blond hair and pale green eyes. He wore a blue dress shirt haphazardly buttoned and a pair of tight jeans. In all honesty, he didn’t look like the owner of a vampire feeding station, but some sloppy college kid, who looked very much out of place.

When he saw Elijah coming, Adrian immediately got to his feet with a big, lopsided grin plastered to his face. “Ah, Elijah,” he greeted cheerfully, holding out his hand to him.

Elijah smirked in return, taking his offered hand and clashing it tightly, before letting it go. “Adrian, it has been a while.”

“Yes, it has,” he agreed. Then he noticed Eternity. “And who is this beauty, old friend?”

“Adrian, allow me to introduce to you, Eternity,” presented Elijah, placing his hand upon the small of her back and nudging her forward a little.

Eternity held out her hand to the young looking vampire gracefully and said, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Adrian didn’t waste any time in grabbing her offered hand and kissing her knuckles, “The pleasure is mine, my dear.”

Elijah wanted to growl at the unnecessary contact, but refrained, keeping his cool and collected composure.

Releasing her hand quickly, Elijah’s acquaintance offered them a seat at his booth. He lead them over and each of them slid in. Adrian sat on one side, while Elijah and Eternity sat on the other. Eternity sat on the outside, while Elijah sat on the inside of the booth. Once everyone was comfortable, their host called over for drinks; bourbon for Elijah and a martini for Eternity. Adrian also had bourbon.

“This is a lovely place you have here, sir,” Eternity spoke politely, speaking at a higher volume due to the loud music vibrating around the room. “I’m highly impressed.”

“Why, thank you. Glad you like it,” replied Adrian proudly, before turning to Elijah to ask, “So, what is it that you wish of me after all this time, Elijah?”

“Well, originally I was just looking to introduce my lady to you and your organization,” Elijah replied, glancing at Eternity briefly. “However, earlier today we bore witness to a most disturbing sight; a human being controlled by a witch to do a heinous act upon innocent people. Of course, I am aware that there are a number of reason why a witch would do this, but then we discovered that the human was a vampire’s lover. The only vampires that I know of in this city are you and your people. So, I’m hoping you can tell me, just what that was?”

A grave look crossed Adrian’s face then, his eyes darted to the back of the club to look at the female bartender there. “Mike was Sarah’s lover,” he explained, his eyes returning to his guests. “They met here about three years ago. He was a lovely guy, the kind that was fiercely loyal and not afraid of our kind or anything of the supernatural really. All around good guy.

“Then there was an incident with the local witch coven a few weeks ago, a bit of harassment on the witches part when they saw Sarah walking down the street with Mike. Out of spite, they cursed the poor bastard to drive him to madness until he did what he did today. The only saving grace is that the cops didn’t kill Mike as the witches no doubt intended.” He sighed sadly.

“Why would the witches do this? What was the purpose?” Elijah asked.

Adrian looked puzzled, “Don’t you know?”

Elijah shrugged, “No.”

“Ever since your brother left all those years ago, the witches and the vampires of this city have been at war,” he told him. “Apparently, your brother pissed them off by turning me into one of you, and so, ever since the vampire community built up here, they’ve been trying to run vampires out of town. You’ll recall, there weren’t any vampires in Chicago before me. Apparently, they had wanted to keep it that way.

“Anyway, tensions are always running high. I’ve tried to seek peace with them, but they’re rather self righteous and stubborn as all hell. They don’t want peace, just blood. Our blood to be exact. While we just want to live peacefully, here in this sanctuary. It’s not like we kill the humans, in fact, there’s a strict rule against it.”

Elijah didn’t like what Adrian was saying about the witches. Though he couldn’t say he was surprised. Niklaus was always angering others, which usually spelled trouble for the bystanders after he’d skipped town. He had to wonder just what offense had his little brother committed to start a war between the local witches and vampires.

“Perhaps, we could discover what offense my brother committed and attempt to make amends,” he suggested. “It would be best resolve this issue to avoid more incidents like the one we witnessed today.”

Adrian shrugged, “In truth, I doubt you would be able to, Elijah. The witches hate vampires, but of course, they loathe the Originals the most. You probably won’t get much out of them unfortunately, if anything at all. Even with all your charms.” He grinned toothily, drinking the bourbon that had been placed in front of him.

“Well then, it’s good that I’ve brought a secret weapon,” replied Elijah, gesturing to Eternity next to him. “I’m certain the lovely Eternity here can do what we cannot and convince the witches to stand down, if she’d be so inclined?”

Eternity nodded, “Of course. I’ll do whatever I must to ensure peace.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, just what are you?” Adrian asked Eternity out of curiosity. “You’re not a vampire, that much is obvious. Are you a witch? A werewolf perhaps? Certainly not human. What then, I wonder?”

“I am none of those things,” she replied with a mysterious smile. “Though truly, does it matter what I am? I am capable of helping your people. That is all you need to worry about.” She didn’t say this unkindly, but as a simple statement of fact.

Adrian seemed to accept her lack of an answer without further questioning. “Well, whatever you are, my dear. I hope you’ll find success in your endeavor.”

Eternity smirked at that, “Oh, I haven’t any doubt of my success.”

The young vampire winked at her, “I like your confidence.”

Again, she smirked, before turning to Elijah, “My love, I’m going to go speak with the bartender. I’d like to understand the situation to the fullest of my ability, so I know how to approach this whole ordeal accurately.”

“Of course,” agreed Elijah, watching her get up gracefully.

Before she headed to the back of the club, Eternity reached over to caress Elijah jaw and then kissing him soundly on his lips. Once he was throughly kissed, she walked away with him watching her every move as she went.

“Your girl is quite the bombshell,” Adrian commented, as he too watched Eternity go.

Elijah turned back to his acquaintance with a smirk, “Yes, she is quite lovely. I’m a lucky man.”

“That you are,” agreed the blond vampire readily. “Where did you meet her?”

“A couple of nights ago, while I was in Maine.”

“Well, I congratulate you on a magnificent find, old friend.”

Elijah didn’t like the way Adrian’s eyes kept wandering over to Eternity, who was already in full swing of introducing herself to the bartender Sarah. The boy was leering, a lusty look in his bright green eyes that stirred up Elijah’s possessive side. He knew he had to put the lad in his place and fast. He wouldn’t tolerate another looking at his woman.

“Yes, but please remember that she is mine,” Elijah said coolly. “So, I suggest you remove your gaze from her or else I’ll be forced to tear those gorgeous eyes of yours from your head.”

Immediately, Adrian’s eyes were on Elijah instead of Eternity. The lust evaporated instantly. They were wide with fear, as if he just remembered who Elijah was - not that he could forget. The boy quickly held up his hands in surrender and laughed nervously. “Hey, I meant no harm, Elijah,” he said in appeasement. “Honest!”

“I should think not. You’re a smart man. Surely, you know better.”

Adrian swallowed thickly, shrinking back a little. Elijah stared hard at him for a few moments longer, enjoying the way he squirmed under his intense gaze. Then finally, he took pity on the boy and relaxed against the booth, drinking the bourbon in front of him casually.

They fell into an awkward silence, which was fine with Elijah. He didn’t care for small talk anyway. Then another vampire came over, whispering in Adrian’s ear. Elijah didn’t care what was being said and so didn’t listen in with his enhanced hearing. Once the messenger had delivered his message, Adrian quickly excused himself, but not before he told Elijah he and his lady could stay and enjoy the club as they pleased.

Then just as Adrian left him, Eternity returned, occupying Adrian’s seat when she did. Elijah smiled softly at her, “So, what did you discover?”

“I discovered that Sarah is the innocent party and the witch coven are the instigators,” she replied with a smile of her own. “It seems that she was targeted by them and they pushed her into retaliation. She ended up killing a few of their people in the confrontation. So, they sought revenge, targeting her human lover in order to make her suffer. As your Adrian said, it’s good that the police didn’t kill him as the witches wanted.”

“In all honesty, I’m not at all surprised,” replied Elijah, sipping down the rest of the bourbon. “Witches despise vampires. They think we’re abominations that shouldn’t exist. Maybe they’re right in that, but a lot of vampires are good people who want to live peaceful lives, despite the violence they must inflict upon others. They don’t deserve to suffer, especially not by the hands of witches.”

“Well then, it’s a good thing I’m here. Perhaps, I can right this wrong.”

“Oh, Sweetheart, I have no doubt in that. In fact, I look forward to the show.”

“Not fond of witches yourself, are you?” Eternity smirked.

“Nonsense,” Elijah replied in all seriousness. “I’m quite fond of them. I was even in love with one once, long ago. It’s the ones that are prejudiced against my kind that I cannot stand. Though truly, that’s not confined to witches only. I don’t care for anyone that is unjustly hateful towards the vampire community.”

Eternity grinned, “What was she like?”

“Who?”

“Your witchy love.”

“Ah, yes,” sighed Elijah, his voice bitter in tone. “Celeste was a beautiful woman, who brought me much happiness in our time together. Unfortunately, Niklaus had indirectly killed her, by spreading a vicious and untrue rumor that resulted her being drowned in a bathtub.”

All humor left Eternity’s face then. She reached across the table and clasped his hand with hers. “I am sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up painful memories. Forgive me.”

Elijah shook his head and put his other hand over hers. “No, it’s alright. My past is unfortunately filled with nothing but pain and misery, with a few moments of happiness sprinkled in-between. It is what it is.” He shrugged.

“Perhaps, but I still should have known better.”

He smiled softly at her, reaching across the table to touch her cheek affectionately. “All is well, darling. Don’t worry.”

Eternity smiled in return, leaning into his touch. “Well, in any case, I would like to meet with these witches next. I want to bring the ones responsible to justice.”

“And so you shall. We’ll do that together.”

“I should hope so.”

They both smiled brightly then, laughing lightly.

“You know, Adrian invited us to enjoy ourselves while we’re here,” Elijah mentioned suddenly.

“Is that right?”

“Yes, and I was thinking, we should take full advantage of such an invite.”

“Oh? And what did you have in mind?”

Elijah smirked mischievously, “Well, first, you have to come here to me.”

Eternity laughed as she was practically dragged by him around the table to sit upon his lap. He wasted no time in cupping the back of her neck and pulling her into a searing kiss. Pulling back with another laugh, she asked, “So, what’s the next step?”

In response, the smirk on his face widened.

To Be Continued...

#elijah mikaelson #the originals #the vampire diaries #love story #romance #adventure #fanfics #ocs #my ocs

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didanawisgi · 5 years

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“For those of you living in free states, here is a glimpse of the living hell endured by those residing in blue states.

When the clock strikes midnight Tuesday morning, anyone in New Jersey who owns a magazine capable of holding more than 10 rounds of ammunition is officially in possession of illegal contraband and is deemed a fourth-degree felon. Unlike previous magazine bans, this one retroactively bans people from even owningsuch magazines in their homes, even though they had been purchased legally. At the same time, the most violent criminal aliens will be actively shielded from deportation by state officials, against federal law. The inmates are running the asylum, while the law-abiding citizens and federal law enforcement are treated like criminals.

While the courts create insane rights for violent criminal aliens, they refuse to recognize the most unambiguous right to bear arms or the constitutional prohibition on ex post facto laws. New Jersey has become a sanctuary to the most dangerous criminal aliens and gangs, many of whom engage in gun trafficking, but peaceful citizens are stripped of the right to self-defense and treated like criminals.

Governor Phil Murphy signed the bill into law in June, giving residents 180 days to discard their magazines of higher capacity than 10, permanently modify them, or transfer them to someone who is legally able to possess them. The ban includes everyone except active-duty military and retired police officers under certain circumstances. Veterans are not excluded at all.

Late last week, the Third Circuit Court of Appeals, in a 2-1 decision, ruled that the Second Amendment is not a real right subject to strict scrutiny against its regulation. As such, it ruled that the desire to stop gun violence is enough reason to retroactively ban all common magazines in use for basic self-defense and recreation.

The only right the courts will not recognize

Since the Heller ruling, five circuit courts have essentially abolished the ruling by allowing states to ban common weapons, common magazines, and any ability to carry any firearms outside the home. Until now, the Supreme Court, led by the clever obfuscator Chief Justice John Roberts, has refused to overturn these cases. Justice Thomas complained that the lower courts were “resisting this Court’s decisions in Heller and McDonald and are failing to protect the Second Amendment to the same extent that they protect other constitutional rights.”

The New Jersey law is more draconian than anything enacted so far because it bans the passive presence in one’s own home of an item that has been legal until now. Aside from running completely afoul of the Second Amendment, this law violates Art. I Sec. 10, which bars states from enacted ex post facto laws. The Supreme Court (Calder v. Bull, 1798) defines ex post facto as a law that “makes an action done before the passing of the law, and which was innocent when done, criminal; and punishes such action.” Crazily, with the courts commandeering every political issue from the political branches of government, granting citizens relief from ex post facto laws was the quintessential exercise of judicial review that Hamilton envisioned judges would use.

These same liberal judges are subjecting governmental actions against illegal immigrants to strict scrutiny in order to protect newly concocted rights, yet they refuse to use this standard against regulations on the most foundational and unambiguous right of self-defense. As Judge Stephanos Bibas, a Trump appointee, noted in his dissent, “Though the majority purports to use intermediate scrutiny, it actually recreates the rational-basis test forbidden by Heller.” In fact, the Heller opinion explicitly barred judges from using any “interest-balancing approach.”

Sadly, both in gun and immigration cases, the Supreme Court is callously allowing lower courts to violate settled law.

Just to illustrate the reckless nature of this law, the Association of New Jersey Rifle and Pistol Clubs, a pro-gun group that is fighting the law in court, observes that there is already a state law prohibiting the transfer or disposal of high capacity magazines, thereby placing citizens in a catch-22.

The law is the law … except for illegal aliens

Now, juxtapose this fascist law and absurd court ruling to New Jersey’s other recent policy making the state a sanctuary for criminal alien transnational crime syndicates, gangbangers, and drug cartels. Last Thursday, N.J. Attorney General Gurbir Grewal issued a directive banning law enforcement from, among other things, participating “in civil immigration enforcement operations conducted by ICE” and providing “ICE with access to state or local law enforcement resources, including equipment, office space, databases, or property, unless those resources are readily available to the public.”

Even those illegals detained by local law enforcement “with violent or serious offenses – such as murder, rape, arson, assault, bias crimes, and domestic violence offenses,” may only be held for ICE until 11:59 pm of that day!

What are the results? The state has become a magnet for some of the worst transnational gangsters and drug traffickers who commit the most heinous crimes imaginable, in addition to poisoning thousands in the state with deadly substances. Just over the weekend, ICE completed an operation resulting in the arrest of 105 illegals, of which 80 percent “had prior criminal convictions and/or pending criminal charges.” The charges included child prostitution, domestic violence, drug trafficking, firearms charges, assault and robbery – and also included violent gang members.

Several of the individuals were previously released by sanctuary counties that refused to honor detainers. A number of others living in the state will now be set free unless ICE gets to them first.

And what about the drug crisis? Roughly 3,000 people are dying every year in New Jersey due to drug overdoses. And no, this is not a prescription problem. Prescriptions have plummeted to the lowest levels in recent memory nationwide and particularly in New Jersey, yet deaths from illicit drugs brought in by illegal alien traffickers have skyrocketed. Just 12 percent of the deaths in 2017 were attributed to oxy or morphine, and as I’ve noted before, most of those people are mixing them with illicit drugs. New Jersey is one of the fastest-growing crisis states, yet the same people who decry the crisis and blame it on doctors and pain patients are actively shielding the very criminal alien networks truly responsible for it.

Let’s not forget that these are the very sorts of people that are convicted for drug trafficking in the federal system, but often committed even worse crimes – and would be released early under the First Step Act.But sanctuary cities are already releasing them, and they go on to commit violence in other states.

Just last month, Luis Rodrigo Perez, an illegal who was apprehended by Middlesex County, New Jersey, for domestic violence was released in defiance of an ICE detainer. He went on to commit a triple homicide in Missouri.

Todd Lyons, acting Field Office Director of Boston’s ICE office, told me in an exclusive interview that he is particularly concerned about the effect of sanctuary states on one another, exacerbating each other’s problems and encouraging criminal aliens to move from one to another. “When other states, especially in the northeast, have a sanctuary police where violent and egregious offenders are released, it creates a problem for states like Massachusetts, where other sanctuary jurisdictions do not factor in criminal history. So, Massachusetts could have an illegal alien arrested for no valid driver’s license released because of the lack of coordination, yet the same alien may have a violent criminal history in a state like New Jersey or New York.”

These liberal sanctuary politicians release real, violent gun felons and are weak on crime but then take away the right of peaceful people to arm themselves, not only on the streets, an act clearly protected by the Second Amendment, but even in their homes, at a time when they need their right to self-defense the most.”

#controversy #debate #second amendment #freedom #law #law enforcement #bill of rights #immigrants #new jersey #police state #civil disobedience #violent crime #gun control #politics

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aruneshgoyal · 4 years

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4. (Punishment)

A quiet and remote hamlet was the village of Bhigaan, 20 miles off Sonepat town. Although, of late, modernity had started to touch the lives of the inmates in various ways such as use of tractors and machines in agriculture, a T.V. and other paraphernalia in the living room etc., there was no visible difference to the ancient caste system prevailing in the village. There was a primary school, functioning though just for name sake only.

Another factor, which had begun influencing the lives of the inmates, was that a saintly Baba had started residing in the hamlet, having built up his Ashram on about two hectares of land. The ashram was befittingly named after the Baba as Shri Siddheshwar Ashram. Many people believed that Baba had miraculous powers. Others were of the opinion that Baba followed in the footsteps of Sai Nath Maharaj and was ordained with divine powers – both pertaining to healing and others.

There used to be a daily ‘bhajan’ (singing aloud His glories), meditation, and yoga program in the Ashram, which many villagers used to attend fervently. There were some young rowdy people too, who used to make fun of the Ashram residents and sing aloud film tunes to disturb the Bhajan activity etc. going on in the Ashram. In spite of repeated provocations by some inmates of the Ashram, Shri Siddheshwar Baba or just Guruji, as he was popularly known as, used to keep his cool, and calm down the protesting residents too, just saying – “these young men have hot blood running in their veins. They are ignorant; that’s why they are resorting to such cheap tactics. But, don’t worry! They shall realize their folly sooner than later!” Guruji’s books on Yoga & Meditation written in English were immensely popular amongst the foreigners, even more so from Canada, France, and Germany, and some of them used to come over to the Ashram during the ShivRatri festival, which incidentally used to be celebrated every year with great fanfare and enthusiasm in the Ashram, especially with an open ‘bhandaara’ (free food) for one and all. These foreigners would then stay on in the Ashram for a week or so before moving on to Shirdi and/or Puttaparthi. They were so fond of the Ashram cook that they used to offer him various gifts as reward for his unselfish services.

The cook of the Ashram kitchen, incidentally, was a young man – SukhDev, who used to keep everybody around in the Ashram happy with his pleasant mannerisms besides the well prepared delicious meals he used to serve in the Dining hall. Once, around Diwali eve, Guruji asked for SukhDev. Obviously, he wanted to ensure that all arrangements for sweets and lights were in order. The Ashram volunteers on duty reported that SukhDev wasn’t around. Guruji then asked all the Ashram residents to search thoroughly in groups of three to four. Everybody went up and down, round and about the Ashram again and again, but SukhDev was nowhere to be seen. At just about the same time, the parents – BhureLal & Lilavati, and the elder brother – Jagmohan, of a young Brahmin girl – Kesar, came to the Ashram, looking for and inquiring about her. Apparently, Kesar had joined the Ashram inmates for bhajan singing after dinner, which used to be taken quite early around 7 o’ clock in the evening as per the Ashram rules, and had been missing since then. Soon, everybody put two and two together and realized that SukhDev & Kesar had fled together, but nobody dared to relate the whole matter to Guruji.

After a long spell, Jagmohan could take it no longer, especially as his mother – Lilavati, had started beating her breasts and wailing aloud, with her hair in total disarray. He started towards the shrine where Guruji would be, still waiting for SukhDev. After a bit of hesitation, both BhureLal & Lilavati as well as the Ashram residents gathered courage and joined Jagmohan. Everybody, of course, was just a bit uncanny and unsure about how Guruji would react to the news, especially as it not only involved village honor but Ashram pride as well. Seeing the large congregation, Guruji signaled everyone to sit down. Jagmohan got up briefly and started to speak slowly. Bit by bit, everything came out. Guruji was stunned and shell shocked to learn the whole thing but he kept his poise and asked everyone around, especially Lilavati, to keep their wits about them, start singing the glories of the Lord, and remember Him ardently in this hour of crisis as only He could set matters right from here on for one and all. He ruled out reporting things to the police at this stage as it would only complicate matters and nobody would gain anything out of it.

However, he assured everybody that he would do everything possible from his side to set matters right and bring them to their logical conclusion. He added – “God is closely observing all of us. I know how difficult it is for all of you, especially the parents – BhureLal & Lilavati, of the girl in question – Kesar. May God bestow courage upon you! As far as I can see, all will soon be well!” He then retired to his private room in the Guru-Niwas for his evening prayers.

On the other side, SukhDev had taken Kesar to his parent’s residence in Rajouri, a nearby village and hamlet. But, his parents – CharuMal & BhuDevi, instead of according them a warm welcome as per SukhDev’s expectations, were furious at the way SukhDev had left the Ashram in Bhigaan without bothering to tell anybody, not even Guruji, who was a fatherly figure to him and used to pay personal attention to his needs and well-being, often rewarding him with a personal gift on almost every festival, as a token of his appreciation for his selfless services (This Diwali eve too, he had sent for SukhDev not only for the preparations and arrangements for the upcoming festival, but also to gift him a woolen shawl, which he could make use of in the winter months ahead!).

Only his younger sister – Reshma, kept smiling at Kesar all the time and gave her due attention and good company, even cracking some jokes to ease the tension writ large on her otherwise charming moon like face. After a lot of heated arguments and verbal duels between father and son (CharuMal & SukhDev), there was general agreement that the next morning (of course, it would be Diwali morning), they should all return to Bhigaan and let Guruji decide their fate in front of everybody from both sides and hamlets.

As per their agreed upon program, they arrived at Shri Siddheshwar Ashram around 12 o’clock noon. Although everybody, in general, was happy to see them back hale and hearty, Jagmohan and Lilavati cursed and hurled abuses at Kesar, calling her a whore and demeaning to their family name. BhureLal was more lenient towards his daughter but threatened to cut apart SukhDev’s throat for his shameful, ignoble, and heinous act.

Very soon, out came Guruji from Guru-Niwas and took his seat in the shrine hall. He asked the Ashram volunteers to call everybody inside the hall and be seated in their respective places peacefully. It was not long before the hall was packed to capacity. Everybody was eagerly awaiting the outcome of the secretive relationship that had mutually developed between SukhDev & Kesar. Groups of people from both sides were awaiting Guruji’s nod for the proceedings to begin. Guruji soon let it be known that he would listen to all the parties involved before announcing his final verdict. BhureLal and Lilavati were inconsolable. Jagmohan spoke on their behalf and vehemently demanded that both Kesar and SukhDev be paraded on donkeys around both Rajouri and Bhigaan, with their faces blackened by charcoal, and then beheaded so that no one could ever dare to repeat the sin they had committed, bringing infamy and bad name to the communities of their respective sides.

Next, it was the turn of CharuMal and BhuDevi. Both of them agreed that it was a mistake on SukhDev’s part to have run away like this without even informing anybody. However, they were of the opinion that while SukhDev deserved to be reprimanded for his rather irresponsible act, at the same time, they especially Reshma, their daughter would be overjoyed to welcome Kesar into their household, as befits her. Thereupon, SukhDev pleaded guilty. With tears in his eyes and a choked voice, he begged forgiveness, saying – “Guruji! Forgive me, please if you can, for acting so irresponsibly. In fact, I don’t deserve to be standing and facing you like this after all I have done, bringing bad name to the Ashram and spoiling its unsullied reputation as well!” Guruji affectionately gestured him to sit down and not grieve over what he had done or take it to his heart – “you have realized your faux pas. Your repentance over it all is enough; it’s your atonement too!”

Finally, Guruji lovingly and quite affectionately at that, called out for Kesar! “Kesar - my child, come here! Why did you have to do this to your dear parents? Do you really and truly love SukhDev” – he gently inquired of her? Kesar was finding it difficult to see Guruji in the eye. She just nodded her head and ran shyly away from his presence. Then, Reshma took over from where Kesar had left and humbly answered Guruji – “honourable and venerable Sir! Kesar has told me everything. She never wanted to deceive or cheat upon her loving parents. But, there was no other way out to bring her love out in the open. And, the fact that she has nodded and then turned shy to the second part of your query goes to show her intense and immense true and real love and loyalty towards my brother – SukhDev, as well as her sense of decency and good moral conduct! As for SukhDev, I can vouchsafe any day! I know he is sometimes rash, hasty, and impudent but he is a real diamond at heart, absolutely pure and unselfish! Now, everybody has had his say and it’s up to you for the last word on the whole matter” – and, saying so, she gave away and handed over the mike to Guruji.

Guruji cast a look and had a glance over his shoulders upon the entire audience. He kept quiet for some moments, which appeared to be longer than complete centuries, especially to Kesar and SukhDev. Then, slowly but surely, he started speaking at length, addressing the whole audience. Caressing and entreating them all – “you are all children of the one and only one all loving and benevolent kind and merciful God! He loves everybody without any partiality or bias whatsoever. And, he loves truth more than anything else. These two children, Kesar & SukhDev, are speaking nothing but the truth and God loves them all the more for it. No doubt, their method and way of expression beyond their own little world can’t be held fully righteous or perfect. But, then they too are human beings and to err is human! Moreover, the fact is that SukhDev has realized and is repenting his irresponsible behavior while Kesar, through Reshma, has clearly shown herself to be on SukhDev’s side, upholding their mutual love! And, I’m sure Reshma has made her parents – CharuMal & BhuDevi, realize this pure love too! My only grievance is the failure of BhureLal, Lilavati, and Jagmohan, Kesar’s parents and elder brother, respectively, to see this true love between the two children – SukhDev and Kesar, just because their eyes are totally and completely blinded by anger. They want to punish these two for what they perceive and presume to be an indecent act on their part. And so, I leave it to them to have the last say and mete out whatever punishment they have on their minds to the two (rather innocent, I would say, on my part! But then, the world has always had its own ways to deal with innocent love!!),” and, thus crestfallen, he crumbled over into his seat, and took his place again on the dais. By now, BhureLal, Lilavati, and Jagmohan were in a better frame of mind and could see and realize the import of Guruji’s momentous monologue.

Tersely, they asked for SukhDev and Kesar to be brought to them. Everybody expected the duo to be accorded a public flogging, at the very least. Just then, Jagmohan smiled and said something in Reshma’s right ear, hearing which she was all smiles as well. Nobody (except Guruji, of course, who was intently watching the entire proceedings from his raised seat) could understand or make out anything even as Reshma went out to the nearby (Ashram) garden and returned with two garlands of beautiful and fragrant red roses.

Amidst thundering applause, and above all, Guruji’s benign blessings, the couple – SukhDev & Kesar, exchanged garlands to mark their final union and the end of their big public trial and ordeal. Both the families soon announced, in consultation with Guruji, that as the final leg of the so much anticipated (punishment) by most of the people, the couple’s marriage would be duly solemnized with all the Hindu rites and ceremonies in the evening and true Diwali feast would be organized at night to mark the occasion!

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socialattractionuk · 5 years

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Dogfishing: The sinister dating trend haunting the apps

A cute man with a cute dog… but can he be trusted? (Picture: Ella Byworth/metro.co.uk)

One of the greatest tragedies of my entire life occurred earlier this week, when I thought I had been the first person to coin a new dating trend: dogfishing.

This is a phenomenon whereby people on dating apps pose with pictures of cute dogs, only for you to discover that these mutts belong to other people.

Convinced that inventing this term was going to be my ticket to stardom, I quit my job and divorced my husband (sadly, I don’t think it’s possible for a relationship to work when there is a disparity in wealth and fame).

I also started preparing quips for when I was inevitably invited onto the Graham Norton Show, where I would regale Helen Mirren and Post Malone with the story of how I first came up with it.

It’s a great anecdote: I was speaking to someone on a dating app who had lots of pictures of the same chow chow, so I asked him if the chow chow belonged to him, and he replied that no, it was his friend’s and he was just looking after it – and the rest is history.

So you can imagine the overwhelming pain, disappointment and humiliation I felt when I typed ‘dogfishing’ into Google and the search returned 4,960,000 results.

I scrolled down, in a state of rising dread, to see outlets covering the term – each fresh article like a knife through my heart. I realised then that there would be no money, no fame, no Helen Mirren with tears of mirth streaming down her face.

If you see an animal this cute or funny on a dating app, beware… (Picture: Getty)

But perhaps I’m overreacting. Perhaps this is no loss at all. Because, when you really think about it, isn’t the concept of dogfishing a little… stupid?

The supposed problem with dogfishing is that it rests on deception, that it’s an attempt at trickery. Women are statistically more likely to be attracted to men if they own a dog, apparently, on the basis that this suggests a kind personality – so the motive is certainly there.

But the same qualities that would make a dog owner kind or warm would surely also apply to dog lovers in general. There are lots of practical reasons why someone who likes dogs might not own one, unrelated to their personal warmth or lack thereof.

One study has suggested that a quarter of men with pets deliberately use them as ‘bait’ on dating apps. But it seems extremely unlikely that men who don’t like dogs are borrowing them from friends or relatives in a purely cynical effort to impress women on Hinge.

Maybe they just like dogs. Maybe they really do love their brother’s French bulldog with an all-consuming passion; maybe they would take a bullet for their landlord’s Chihuahua.

Being the ‘victim’ of dogfishing (that most heinous crime) might be disappointing in the sense that you wanted access to a cute dog yourself – but it’s hardly evidence of poor moral character.

After all, should you really be trying to date someone just because they have a dog?

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While we should never underestimate the capacity of other people to be horrible d**kheads, in this case it’s probably safe to assume that if someone has pictures of dogs on their profile, it’s because they like dogs.

If you also like dogs, that’s something you have in common, and it’s not really a cause for concern.

So that’s that. Anyway, I can’t wait to tell you guys about this hot new dating trend I’ve come up with – this one is really going to pop off.

It’s basically the same thing but with cats. I haven’t thought of a name yet.

Dating terms and trends, defined

Breadcrumbing: Leaving ‘breadcrumbs’ of interest – random noncommittal messages and notifications that seem to lead on forever, but don’t actually end up taking you anywhere worthwhile Breadcrumbing is all about piquing someone’s interest without the payoff of a date or a relationship.

Caspering: Being a friendly ghost - meaning yes, you ghost, but you offer an explanation beforehand. Caspering is all about being a nice human being with common decency. A novel idea.

Catfish: Someone who uses a fake identity to lure dates online.

Clearing: Clearing season happens in January. It’s when we’re so miserable thanks to Christmas being over, the cold weather, and general seasonal dreariness, that we will hook up with anyone just so we don’t feel completely unattractive. You might bang an ex, or give that creepy guy who you don’t really fancy a chance, or put up with truly awful sex just so you can feel human touch. It’s a tough time. Stay strong.

Cloutlighting: Cloutlighting is the combo of gaslighting and chasing social media clout. Someone will bait the person they’re dating on camera with the intention of getting them upset or angry, or making them look stupid, then share the video for everyone to laugh at.

Cuffing season: The chilly autumn and winter months when you are struck by a desire to be coupled up, or cuffed.

Firedooring: Being firedoored is when the access is entirely on one side, so you're always waiting for them to call or text and your efforts are shot down.

Fishing: When someone will send out messages to a bunch of people to see who’d be interested in hooking up, wait to see who responds, then take their pick of who they want to get with. It’s called fishing because the fisher loads up on bait, waits for one fish to bite, then ignores all the others.

Flashpanner: Someone who’s addicted to that warm, fuzzy, and exciting start bit of a relationship, but can’t handle the hard bits that might come after – such as having to make a firm commitment, or meeting their parents, or posting an Instagram photo with them captioned as ‘this one’.

Freckling: Freckling is when someone pops into your dating life when the weather’s nice… and then vanishes once it’s a little chillier.

Gatsbying: To post a video, picture or selfie to public social media purely for a love interest to see it.

Ghosting: Cutting off all communication without explanation.

Grande-ing: Being grateful, rather than resentful, for your exes, just like Ariana Grande.

Hatfishing: When someone who looks better when wearing a hat has pics on their dating profile that exclusively show them wearing hats.

Kittenfishing: Using images that are of you, but are flattering to a point that it might be deceptive. So using really old or heavily edited photos, for example. Kittenfishes can also wildly exaggerate their height, age, interests, or accomplishments.

Lovebombing: Showering someone with attention, gifts, gestures of affection, and promises for your future relationship, only to distract them from your not-so-great bits. In extreme cases this can form the basis for an abusive relationship.

Microcheating: Cheating without physically crossing the line. So stuff like emotional cheating, sexting, confiding in someone other than your partner, that sort of thing.

Mountaineering: Reaching for people who might be out of your league, or reaching for the absolute top of the mountain.

Obligaswiping: The act of endlessly swiping on dating apps and flirt-chatting away with no legitimate intention of meeting up, so you can tell yourself you're doing *something* to put yourself out there.

Orbiting: The act of watching someone's Instagram stories or liking their tweets or generally staying in their 'orbit' after a breakup.

Paperclipping: When someone sporadically pops up to remind you of their existence, to prevent you from ever fully moving on.

Preating: Pre-cheating - laying the groundwork and putting out feelers for cheating, by sending flirty messages or getting closer to a work crush.

Prowling: Going hot and cold when it comes to expressing romantic interest.

R-bombing: Not responding to your messages but reading them all, so you see the 'delivered' and 'read' signs and feel like throwing your phone across the room.

Scroogeing: Dumping someone right before Christmas so you don't have to buy them a present.

Shadowing: Posing with a hot friend in all your dating app photos, knowing people will assume you're the attractive one and will be too polite to ask.

Shaveducking: Feeling deeply confused over whether you're really attracted to a person or if they just have great facial hair.

Sneating:When you go on dates just for a free meal.

Stashing: The act of hiding someone you're dating from your friends, family, and social media.

Submarineing: When someone ghosts, then suddenly returns and acts like nothing happened.

V-lationshipping:When someone you used to date reappears just around Valentine's Day, usually out of loneliness and desperation.

You-turning: Falling head over heels for someone, only to suddenly change your mind and dip.

Zombieing: Ghosting then returning from the dead. Different from submarineing because at least a zombie will acknowledge their distance.

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MORE: Profiles with bikini pics and cuddling with dogs more likely to be successful on dating apps

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