#it's because im always right lol ???
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trans ppl who patronise and shit-talk detransitioners are like people who patronise and shit-talk disabled or homeless people. you idiot. you fucking moron. that could happen to you.
#they'll always be like 'um no because im sure lol' buddy do u think they werent sure.#do u think none of them were certain this was how they wanted to live forever.#it could happen to you. it might happen to you.#and you're going to feel pretty fucking stupid when everyone treats you the way you treat others right now.
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HAPPY NOVEMBER!! its beginning to feel a lot like winter so todays uni sketch is Sulu and Uhura dancing!! 💫❄️🌌 cus why not :D (bg-less version below!)
(can you tell im listening to frank sinatra lately AHJSKJASK)
#churro art#my art#illustration#fanart#digital art#doodles#star trek#star trek tos#star trek the original series#nyota uhura#hikaru sulu#THEYRE SO BESTIES TO ME sweetest mlm wlw solidarity on ship..#i rlly like how this one looks even if its a rlly relaxed mindless doodle heheh#i really wanted to draw kirk and spock in winter clothes but couldnt get the sketch quite right#so i decided to just draw uhura and sulu too since ive been wanting to draw them both!!#and uhura was FUN because i LOVEE her hair her makeup her earrings EVERYTHING.. so putting a lil christmas twist on her outfit was fun !!!#sulu is also so fun to draw WAAA hes so handsome and cute plus i just love drawing square faces ToT#anyways the shading heres a lil different; ig i was feeling nostalgic so i shaded this in a more like 90s animated movie poster style :P#im really proud of the sketch for this one as well ! it came out really smooth and w a lot of movement which is always good for me!!#means im not getting stiff LOL#maybe ill actually get around to drawing kirk and spock in winter clothes :P#i liked the sketch / idea but i wasnt getting the faces quite right..#i guess because i was frustrated this morning over getting late to uni and not having headphones for music GSHJGSHJGSAHJ#BUT ILL DO IT I SWEAR IT
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I WON'T ANNOUNCE MY SHEER DESCENT BUT HOLY FUCK THERE WILL BE SIGNS
#amys' tag#keys' art#undescribed#this one is 50% vent art 50% fucking around with colors shapes and designs and 100% a banger.#so anyways when i grew up i learned that anger is bad and that didn't have any consequences whatsoever#because as a result to this day i never yell at people. or snap. or do any of that. i'm always very calm and understanding and polite#which is GREAT right up until i experience actual rage and i cant do shit to express it. because i never learned how. lol#seriously though id like to thank this song for providing catharsis when im angry as FUCK but cant do shit about it#i cant even sing it out loud because it has swear words in it and my family would disapprove but one day i'll get there lol#until then though. yeah.
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re: timing of mentor reaping
ooh both options are delicious. the tragedy of obi-wan operating per usual and volunteering only for anakin to be called soon after is appealing, but i feel like mentor reaping after the tributes could be really interesting.
like on obi-wan’s end, the horror of anakin being called could freeze him in his place, also make him think about the year he put his name in multiple times and wondering if he lied and did it again, thinking about having to mentor someone he wants to die so that anakin makes it out, etc. and then on anakin’s end, i feel like even if he is nonchalant-ish about being reaped, the moment that would create insecurity/break him momentarily would be obi-wan pausing to volunteer as mentor bc he would follow obi-wan anywhere and and kill to come back to him and why is obi-wan not doing the same? when rlly obi-wan is just too shocked/still processing to react in a timely manner
j my thoughts, thanks for listening!
(re: this hunger games au post)
so this absolutely mirrors my thoughts and why i'm torn!
if obi-wan's 'reaping' is first and he volunteers to be the mentor regardless of his name not being drawn because the one chosen is pregnant or just won five years ago and is too traumatized or something, and THEN anakin's name is drawn, it's devastating for obi-wan who now has to be his mentor and maybe watch him die while trying to do everything he can to prevent it. it's also devastating to anakin who will never know if obi-wan would have volunteered for him.
if obi-wan's reaping is after anakin's and he volunteers, a part of anakin can just be smug and satisfied -- and there can be a moment where he's watching the victor section from the stage, eyes locked on obi-wan's devastated face, and he gets to see him volunteer, gets to see him torn to shreds by the possibility of losing anakin and then maybe gets to see a hint of 'killer disassociation' flash over obi-wan's eyes as he stands to volunteer to be the mentor. anakin's obsessed with obi-wan's games and would absolutely adore obi-wan getting so angry and feral over him.
and then there's the option where the victor mentoring reaping is after the tribute drawing but obi-wan's name is pulled and he doesn't volunteer at all - either anakin's latent but powerful control of the Force makes the person drawing choose the slip of flimsi with obi-wan's name on it, or the odds are just in anakin's favor and the galaxy itself knows that where anakin goes, obi-wan should follow and vice versa, aka what anakin's been trying to tell everyone (even obi-wan) for years
#asks#hunger games au#obikin#tbh ALL GOOD OPTIONS in my opinion!!#theyre all just different flavors of angst#especially because anakin's insecurities about always taking and never being given affection from obi-wan#have been so spelled out in the first chapter#that i think the right combo of events in the second chapter could really emphasize those insecurities and worries#which would make him even more feral#which we love <3#and that would build and build until the very moment that obi-wan breaks#and begs him to do whatever he has to do in order to come out of that arena alive#(right before he gets sent up to the arena)#because that is one of those moments im literally writing towards#thats gonna be such a heady moment#cant wait#see you there lol
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A little while ago you said that you have nuanced feelings on Clem x Louis, and I think that’s how I’d describe my opinion on the ship as well. I was just wondering, what makes you feel that way? Personally, I think they’re romance scenes are cute and sweet, but the whole situation with Marlon makes me unable to see them as anything other than friends. I think they both mean a lot to each other, but the idea that they’d want to date so soon after that whole ordeal’s a bit of a stretch to me.
putting this under a read more so if anyone even Thinks they might get upset about mild louis opinions they can move on and stay happy. seriously people take this stuff too seriously sometimes and i dont want to stir anyone up but also im allowed to have my own opinions OKAY. none of this means i dont like him or them OKAY??
okay
thats pretty much where my opinions are too
the stuff with marlon and the vote is Definitely the biggest thing that influences my opinion about their romance. i always forget just how Cruel he is in EP2 😭 like im on your side dude what aj did was wrong can we just talk about this 😭 but he votes to kick them out. like his reaction about marlon doesnt bother me, its his insistence on kicking them out that does 😔 my clem will always forgive him for it, i believe him when he says he regrets it, but its gonna take some time for trust to build again. for both of them
having only one scene between his apology and the lock in was just not gonna happen for my clem. she was mad at him for it. aj almost died because of it. she might be doing better now but she still has trust issues and her trust was broken just as much as his was. he was fine with never seeing her again, sending her and aj out to their deaths because he struggled to accept his confused feelings about marlon. that pissed my clem off shdfksd she is barely keeping this child alive let alone herself. her face when ajs kicking the wall bro she was like "its so fucking over" 😭 cmon bro look at her shes dead inside have some compassion. and he still hits her with the "i dont know [if i want you to stay]" even after aj gets shot like cmon man...... Cmon.........
and while shes waiting for louis to finally be ready to talk about what happened with marlon (which my clem apologizes for in the dorm, she does genuinely feel bad about it), her and violet are only growing closer, focusing on preparing the school together for the bigger problem. clem knowing vi has her back is a huge source of relief in everything thats going on, and that means a Lot for my clem, who appreciates the idea of having a partner she can rely on. my clem is already sure of her feelings for vi by the time louis apologizes. but she appreciates his apology, and is looking forward to being friends again, because she did genuinely appreciate his friendship at the beginning. but her heart was really truly Broken about everything with marlon and the vote and i think thats gonna take more time to heal. depending on player choice some clems might not even forgive him (some others might say he was right and that clem didnt stop it but... i do not agree with that.. like how could she have... aasim calls mitch a hypocrite for saying the same thing)
the other less important thing is just his general blasé attitude. my clem takes things seriously, but that doesnt mean she doesnt know how to have fun. she Wants to. she just Cant. she has a child to take care of first, and she cares about the survival of the group. its why my clem is looking for someone she knows she can rely on. she never wanted any of this, and she just wants a little support, someone to help take the weight off so she CAN relax. shes so tired 😭. playing with louis while aasim hunts by himself made me feel Dirty 💀 (i literally couldnt do it the first time i felt so bad AASIM WAIT UP). and while i can understand and appreciate his "there might not be a tomorrow so enjoy today" outlook, it cant come at the expense of the group. louis i feel eventually learns this, finding a balance between the two, and Becomes someone clem can rely on. but his change doesnt begin until like.. after the raiders take everyone (because we have to get through the marlon stuff first). and if you save vi, you dont get to see any of it 😔
the thing about these two problems is that, if you were to take them out of this setting and throw them in like, a modern au, suddenly these are not issues anymore. no more life or death. the stakes are a lot lower. so i can see them dating in that scenario and having fun together. they do have cute moments!! but also due to less stakes, theres less to motivate louis to change. and i think they would fundamentally just not click on their worldviews. clem while she can have fun, ultimately takes things seriously, and louis doesnt. that doesnt mean they dont care about each other, and clem definitely appreciates his energy, but its why i see them still ending up as friends instead of romantic partners (esp if vi is around IM SORRY 😭 they just Click too well for me 😔 this is why my messy au exists 💀)
i also understand this is mostly personal preference and some people might like them for these reasons 😭 but the dynamic that they have i prefer as friends personally. theyre supportive of each other and deeply care about each other, just not romantically imo. especially not after the stuff with marlon. and thats ok!!!! i see it a lot like louis' relationship with vi. not romantic. but they Love each other regardless. honestly the reason why i like clem vi and louis as a trio so much is that clem slots between them really well. louis who doesnt take anything seriously, and vi who takes things Too seriously. clem exists between them. knowing having fun is important but also understanding the weight of responsibility. she helps louis become more responsible, and she helps vi chill the fuck out. she brings balance :)
i will say tho louis' "nothing wrong with short and sweet, right?" line was cute he got me there
#louis 🤝 violet: being a huge bitch (lovingly)#violets the bitch of ep1 and louis is the bitch of ep2 (lovingly)(but also seriously)(its important to their Characters lol)#the fact they BOTH mockingly quote their hunting partners to clem is SO FUNNY!!! this is why theyre friends#louis can be Just as mean as vi is and thats important to acknowledge and i feel like its not acknowledged very much?#also i Do just have to say it frustrates me a bit when louis is talking about how he feels bad about leaving marlon on his own to lead#while he is Actively avoiding the task violet Just asked him to do. that she is now doing for him. because he wants to do something else#like.. bro youre talking about how you left marlon with all the responsibility but youre doing the same to vi Right Now 😭#it just rings a little hollow... i have other little annoyances like this but thats more with the writing than louis himself#like i Get the Intention#i get so scared talking about why i Dont like a romantic pairing people always take it as a personal attack ITS ALL PREFERENCE!!#im begging you.. keep having fun... Live Your Truth... im just a random person on the internet with an opinion#replies with lexi#incognito#twdg
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it's actually, genuinely, honestly hilarious that in a fandom where popular ships include characters who are biologically related, characters with a 10+ year age gap who met when one was a teenager or even a child, and characters who have tried to kill each other, people hate on a friends-to-lovers ship with a <2 year age gap where the characters have a deep emotional bond and plenty of romantic subtext, because "they're siblings". my brother in the force they are literally not.
#i'm just saying. out of all the ships in the star war; sabine and ezra have one of the healthiest dynamics#right up there with kanera and bail and breha and obitine and maybe a few others. there are SO few 'problems' with it.#not that those 'problems' make a ship BAD when it's written well or in certain context.#just that out of all the ships to pick on; people choose THIS one?????#the one with character growth and found family and mutual respect??#the one with self-sacrifice and decades-long loyalty and obitine parallels and a jetpack chase scene????#what's there to hate???#and i would add a disclaimer about how if you dont ship them its fine as long as you dont bully but honestly?#i am so so tired of having to qualify my statements.#this is about the targeted hate. this has always been about the targeted hate.#and i don't care if someone loathes something i love as long as they they keep that loathing out of my personal space.#this has been a tag rant. thank you for reading.#btw i'm not being sarcastic about it being hilarious. it genuinely cracks me up to see people get SO hateful over this#for a reason that does not exist#as opposed to several other ships which DO IN FACT HAVE THAT OBJECTION.#like. oh my gosh. are you even listening to yourselves.#if u wanna have the don't-ship-siblings fight then puhLEEZE bring it to someone who ships siblings.#jessica's controversial star wars opinions#sabezra#(don't worry that this post is a vent because i'm getting bullied or anything. im not visible enough for that i guess lol)#it was written in humor not in hurt :)
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btw I don’t know if this is a thing anyone is thinking about but I’m not gonna stop drawing Jimmy as a canary. It’s a lovely bird. It’s still something that’s been really important to his series. There’s no reason to drop the canary headcanon just cuz Lizzie fell into the void.
#warning: don’t open up these tags I went on a very heated and rather unrelated rant cuz I’ve been mad#trafficblr#life series#secret life spoilers#secret life smp#jimmy solidarity#also I’m sick of seeing ppl celebrate Jimmy surviving because they hate the canary curse fans like SHUT UP!!! LET US HAVE FUN GOD!!!#LIKE LITERALLY EVEN IF NOBODY CAME UP WITH THE CANARY METAPHOR WE WOULD STILL BE TALKING ABOUT HOW HES ALWAYS DYING OK WE DIDNT MAKE UP THAT#HE DIES FIRST HE JUST DOES. GOD. so what if some people make shakespeare sounding posts about the curse that I don’t understand. we are JUST#having fun and making connections where we don’t need to BECAUSE ITS FUN. NOT CUZ WE DONT CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE. sorry for the past few#days I’ve been genuinely mad at this fandom’s growing hatred towards its own community.#LIKE IM FINE IF ITS NOT YOUR THING BUT GOD. WE ARENT EVEN DOING ANYTHING 😭😭😭 THE LORE LITERALLY WRITES ITSELF OR IS WRITTEN BY MARTYN LOL#I’ve just been getting SO TILTED man. like ohhh yeah okay ur right i said too much guess I won’t say anything anymore#does anyone else genuinely not know wtf ppl are talking about when they say a certain hc takes over everything about the character#cuz I literally see so much varied Jimmy content yet I’ve seen several ppl complain that ppl ignore aspects of his character in favor of#WHATEVER when I literally don’t see that happening to him. step out of ur circle or something I don’t even HAVE a circle man
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from an outside perspective it’s really feeling like they’re emphasising kim dokja’s status as an eldritch god. like,,, you don’t feel it through orv because kim dokja himself has just enough knowledge from reading twsa to navigate, and on his own you can really tell how human he actually is, but. take things from a distanced perspective, and suddenly. suddenly, it’s azathoth and the outer gods of lovecraftian lore, played completely straight. i’ve heard enough people compare azathoth and kdj that i think i can say this much
you wanna know something i’ve thought about a lot regarding kdj and the oldest dream? about yjh becoming a terrorist, and how kimcom willingly went back into the fray, how they returned to the previous timeline - and how some people couldn’t comprehend their choices at first? it makes me think of that old trope of ‘going mad from the revelation’, how some people say that gazing upon this otherworldly being’s true form or ‘learning the truth of the world’ would surely make someone go mad.
go mad with what, though? insanity? or grief? because so, so often, one’s pain is incomprehensible to outsiders, and fail to understand how or why you lash out or break down. it’s a depressing pattern in real life, too. kdj goes mad with grief and self-hatred, learning the truth; kimcom take on the insane route of going through the apocalypse again just to reach the end; yjh is unable to heal, to cope with a world without the scenarios and without his companion to bear through it, and so he fights over the replica of the arc. from an outsider’s perspective, without the understanding that the people involved are all brokenhearted over truths only they know, it might come off as insanity. but it’s all just grief.
with that said, however, to have someone jung heewon KNEW, cruel as he was, replaced by someone from a world beyond - and to start singing the praise of someone else’s name? to say ‘i need to find them?’ how all of them look to one name that outsiders simply DO NOT KNOW, to hail this unknown person as important, as an idol, as… as a god…
the 41st turn before their version of shin yoosung travelled to the other worldlines is a forgotten story, and by orv logic forgotten stories are outer gods. in lovecraftian lore, the outer gods sought to wake the blind idiot god azathoth, who in orv is represented by kdj dreaming for ‘eternity’. also, the Outer Gods of orv (the one actually being called as such right now) see the side story - which is the ‘forgotten’ 41st turn, now being written in where once it was not - as their chance to finally be written on the wall. so it’s. it’s. this is just singshong taking their lovecraftian elements to their logical extreme
interestingly, however, kdj isn’t the only reader anymore, is he? orv places a lot of emphasis on communication and writing on the wall, but in the side story it could perhaps be interpreted as ‘trying to be read by one person in particular’. and then the readers that die are labelled as ‘kdj33’ or ‘kdj47’, reducing them to being ‘just a part’, but… they’re all different people. they’re all people who took in kdj’s story, thus his story becomes a part of their own - but only a part. i’ve said that before, but.
well, you can’t force your own narrative on to someone else.
han sooyoung tried that, actually, didn’t she? tried to get kdj back through ending the story early only to realize the hurt she was causing and backing off. you can’t always reach people in the way you want. that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t stop trying, but there’s also a point where you need to recede, to compromise. am i making sense? i have no idea where singnshong is taking this story, but i’m looking at hsy with lee hakhyun and ceokdj with the readers turned kdj fragments and the outer gods wanting their story written on the wall and. i feel like i’m starting to see a pattern. i could also be hallucinating, but i could also not be. i offer this for your consideration
okay i put this aside for a bit but yes. oh my god. eldritch kdj.. i had not heard about this before, but that's so interesting thinking about it through that lens. and in the side story, hsy forcing the memories of orv on jhw to try to break her.. the explict mentioning of han sooyoung being seen as a 'god' in that moment...
--
fun fact, if you don't remember! lovecraftian horrors are also mentioned as outer gods in orv
chapter 179. when talking with the devourer of dreams, kdj mentioned these modifiers
the fear of sarnath - bokrug
horror from the hills - chaugnar faugn
master of r'lyeh - cthulhu
--
now, adding my own thoughts - the pattern is identity. stories.
there's something wrong with everything in this turn.
the kkomas were cute. until it was revealed that they were dead readers. though.. is that not also kind of what the yoo joonghyuk kkomas are? they may have all been yoo joonghyuk, but their lives in that turn were their own. <- however. the difference here is that while the yjh kkomas were all 'yoo joonghyuk' these kdj kkomas were NOT. they all had their own lives before being brought to wos, and upon being killed and placed in the theater.. they lost themselves.. which is terrifying to think about. you die, and you're brought back to watch your companions go on without you, but you're not yourself anymore. you're kim dokja, who wants to continue watching the stories on the screen.
the transmigrated readers. until the latest chapters, we hadn't been shown the real effect of the readers possessing characters in this world (honestly, we were led to believe that most people transmigrated into 'extras' without their own story. but that's not true, is it?). cheon inho has no one close to him as far as we know (lol), but that's not the same for others. what about the people who knew the possessed characters? lee hakhyun realizes this in the latest chapter, that maybe him and the readers coming here were an additional disaster for the people that lived here.
lee hakhyun's problems,, he's constantly going back and forth on 'lee hakhyun' and 'cheon inho', and there's clearly something wrong with the way he sees himself... we know more about him that he does currently, and if he does find out. i don't think things are going to end well.
and of course. everything about kim dokja. his name is in everyone's minds, the readers are desperate for a source of hope and he has become that to them. kim dokja is being idolized. even before the scenarios, there were those using kim dokja's story in the same way he used yjh. it's not framed as a negative, if that's what you need to do survive, then you should always do what you can to survive, no matter what. but even when you borrow stories, you need to stay yourself. you are your own person.
there's a clear connection with all of these, and it's identity. who someone is, the way they're seen, their stories. what makes you yourself? stories make up who you are, and these outer gods want their own stories written down on the wall to define themselves. rep kdj wanting the readers to forge a new story, lee hakhyun discovering stories that were never told in orv.
right now, nobody's happy. time is running out for the outer gods, the readers have unwittingly destroyed others by taking over these 'extras', kimcom are still desperately searching for their star, our dear protagonist is continuing to doubt himself. and kim dokja is still watching.
...this is orv. not everyone will get their happy ending. their goals oppose each other. we can hope for the best, but that isn't going to happen.
#word VOMIT. im not editing this sorry if it makes no sense!#THESE ANALYSES ARE ALWAYS SO GOOD AND I AM NOT A PERSON WHO THINK ABOUT THINGS TOO DEEPLY...#i cut some parts of this out (mainly about han sooyoung + the outer gods) because i couldn't word it right. but they connect with this too#<- might come back to this once i have the corresponding chapters translated. give me a day or two#i know i talk about identity so much but this is what the side story is all about#i didnt know about the lovecraftian stuff until i read it on the korean wiki for orv <- it's so much more detailed than the eng one lol#ask#orv#orv side story#orv spoilers#lee hakhyun#somewhat related? but i realized part of why i related with lhh so hard#it's the trans experience#living a life that might not be the worst‚ but you're not truly yourself. feeling like you're living someone else's life‚#responding to a name that isn't really your own.#anyway the TRANS CHEON INHO PFP IS STAYING !!
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honestly is ggy + the mimic being 'from the books' really that bad when henry Emily was literally the exact same way in clickteam fnaf
#notice how henry emily just showed up out of nowhere in pizza sim without it ever being said he existed in a previous game#its because he was from the books#pandas.txt#from the books is in quotaions because both eras have their reasons for them being 'from the books'#clickteam is probably bad writing and sw is a whole can of worms#theres no telling how early the mimic was supposed to be planned and ggy was planned before sb shown by the arcade cabinets and patient 46#we dont know how the synergy between books and game would have been if SB hadnt had such a delay and major content cut#like the sticky note room in sb makes you think mimic but then afton exists#and the mimic easily works with glitchtrap because like. it mimicked william afton. so it could easily be both planned or not planned there#im just saying sw era is not the only fnaf era that has questionable writing#im pretty sure i got the henry history right but lmk if im wrong#im always worried i dont remember things correctly lol
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I am not immune to cheesy anime one liners and stunning gender ambiguous swordsmen.....
#JUST FINISHED BLUE EYE SAMURAI#IT WAS SO GOOD#i said i wasnt going to watch it right away and then hunkered down and watched the whole thing adfasdf#it was funny -- i tried to get my dad into anime and now hes far surpassed me and has watched so many lol#he recommended this one and i thought it was so fun hed share one back that id never even heard of before#then i laughed because i dont think he knows its not technically anime - just an animated show about japan 😅#but OUGH the art was pretty and im obsessed with these characters#mizu my fucking beloved!!!#im always a 'ball of sunshine' person over the 'edgelord fighter' person so i really thought id be a ringo fan#but uuuuhhhhh no. i am unwell over mizu. so unwell.#this type of show isnt my usual cup of tea#but i was HOOKED#i dont know if ill reblog too much because im scared of the rancid gender commentary i may see if i actually go into the tag -_-#i bet theres such cool fanart but im the queen of curating my experience and i refuse to subject myself to The Discourse.....#maybe i yell about it more when my brain can produce coherent words#very cool.....#rose rambles
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a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
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"sara snow" as if that could have ever been a real name. get real. That is a drag name
#I'm kidding#if we're getting serious i think the reason Lol cregan is twinky is funny to me is mostly just because#in like. reddit threads and shit he's always fawned over as like this awesome gruff masculine man who Gets Shit Done and is Powerful and#Correct and Just and Fixes everything. Well what will reddit guys do when he is just a 21 year old bisexual beet counter Oh god we've just#done jon again sorry never mind#but yea lets subvert the masculine ideal ladiesssss ^_^#thats what im here for ^______^ i hope preston jacobs gets really mad about it *___*#cause like it's interesting that aegon and rhaenyra both fail their genders in certain ways#(failing your gender is good dont get me mixed up)#but aegon cant get it up and he's emasculated and disabled and Literally gets cucked ?#and we dont even have time to get into rhaenyra right now#so the idea of some kind of Northern Real Man TM storming in and being the 'corrective' to that is a bit weird#UNLESS he is gay and mean abotu it.#also not to imply that the realm is 'fixed' at the end of the dance systemic rot is systemic etc#^ idk what any of that meant it's late and if it doesnt make sense dont yell at me about it
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maybe I'm comfortable with tumblr because I get to say things I don't usually tell anyone
#like how my day is? or what dumb stuff im doing lol#my “safe space” where i got to meet people somehow (and theyre very cool :3c)#well. im happy if i get to do it now#cmon nae! sympathy points wont do you any good !!#okay so. tumblr gets to be my little planner too cause i get to write things in the momoment#so im writing things im proud of!#brushed my teeth for more than two mins today#n i actually washed a lil! its embarrassing writing this here because i dont want anyone thinking im dirty.... since its gross#but anyways.. im getting better at putting my phone down at night!#that means fixing my sleep right? i just have to sort out the mornings since i lose track of time#and struggle to leave bed (its too comfyyyy >.<)#and oh. i want to start going on walks..#itll be hard since the house is getting done n stuff but. anytine if the day. i feel like taking walks woukd be better for me#just to keave the house. my eyes always hurts when i steo outside#n thats not good :<#those are my goals for now. i do wanna get closer to my friends. and actually make friends!#ive had no friendships for nearly a year at college lol#its just been 'oh well' but i have actually felt lonely... oh well-#i guess i wanna get closer to people?#and.. talk to ny old friends too#i feel to guilty#im not good with this stuff. it drains me#but anyways. baby steps right? who knows#maybe ill make a friend on the trip! or next year too! that sounds good#ik nobody'll probably read this cause its word vomit lol#but basically yay yippee im feelin kinds alright#<333#posts.nae/rambles
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the uhs uhmm the to be continode love that one
#the broken code#tbc#bristlefrost#rootspring#shadowsight#warrior cats#this arc was actually fun in terms of thinking about how the characters looked along witb sum of their dynamics#sadly had to cover up bristles cool tail pattern because shadowsight is so WIDE#anyways speaking on shadowsight he seems like the type of guy to be a third wheel like always#and ppl would be like omg i cant imagine u in a relationship what and hed be like yeah me neither lol#and then realize hes got the aroace#its me btw im projecting#shadow says trans rights#boy i wonder who my fav is#also btw since U CANT TELL BECAUSE SHADDERS IS HIDING IT briss and rootbeer have stars on their fur for the prophecyyy#shadowsight does not get a star
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omw to play emotional support for my mom disguised as ✨fun family bonding time✨ for the rest of the week <3333 there's something so deeply wrong with me uwu teehee
#and i still havent texted my friend back even tho she texted me a week ago and i told her ill text her back this week when i have the time#and i DO have the time. im just fucked in the head and the prospect of having a conversation with another person where i again#have to pretend im not at the very brink of a serious mental and emotional breakdown. is making me lose my fucking mind#ik she's having a bad time rn and she needs the reassurance and jesus fucking christ i tried i had two long conversations with her#that were allllll about her. only her. not a single word about me. that's fine. this is what people need in such moments right#to just get patted on the head and hugged and told their suffering is real and what happened to them is unfair and just made to feel#that for a moment they're the centre of attention and it is all about them. this is normal. this is why therapy exists.#so i try to give this to her but it is fucking draining. and i NEVER get the same treatment back. like she caught me crying at uni last week#and like yes she'll say some nice things but she'll always find a way to turn the conversation back on the topic of ✨her✨#like we started talking about my therapy and i finally got to actually say a word or two about what im dealing with. but then she goes#'yeah im just trying to figure out what's wrong with me when i listen to you haha like i could never cut myself cause it looks ugly.#ofc it doesnt look ugly on you haha but i could never lol'#like thanks haha good to know ill just shut up then and steer the conversation back onto you why dont i. i mean its not like#i spent over an hour a few days back sitting with you and listening to your talk about your childhood and validating you and not saying#a word a single fucking word about myself even tho i was also going through it myself but who cares right. and now im the bad guy again#because im not texting back.#i feel like im finally fucking snapping cause at this point im properly fucking angry. IM having a bad time too. IM going through it too.#I have bad coping skills and had a fucked up childhood and traumas in my life TOO and im allowed to just not be able to handle it#i really wanna break something lol maybe therapy's working after all lmao#oh also this is why i dont eat breakfast. i do it once and then feel guilty and suicidal lol normal behaviour#pojebie mnie zaraz przysięgam na boga mam dość kurwa BASTA
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i spent like. a stupid fucking long time on this. full under the cut if youre curious
#despite how long this took im STILL not happy with how i draw his face and i couldnt get the dumb mask to work either because i NEVER CAN#my curse is he has one of the sexiest designs ever born and i cant fucking figure out how to draw it#this is insanely similar to osmething else i posted recently sorry i want him to bleed. it could always be worse i could be doing much more#🐟#🦕#⛓#nsft#i need to get better at drawing dicks fr though i dont think it looks quite right i just had to stop this before i went insane#i was supposde to be doing some of those color prompts so much for a warm up LOL#his hands also bug me but this aint about that so its fine#roadhog
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