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#it'd be a one man show with me writing it & acting it out on different accounts so idk how the quality would be

constantmourning · 9 months

Text

Stress Relief

[Price/Reader/Soap/Simon]

Summary: Headcanons (almost an imagine) on sleeping with the three and how it turns out for you!

Warnings: Minors DNI! NS/FW, 18+!, M/M/M/F, Foursome, not too descriptive but still nasty, let me know if I forgot something! (haven't done this in a while)

A/N: This is my first time writing for these guys! I hope you enjoy! I'm still getting a hang of these characters but I had this idea so I went with it. I kinda fucking ran with it actually... Hope you all enjoy. Kinda wanna make it a full blown fic.

It started with Soap. Really, you didn't think it'd go much further.

You were sleeping together most every chance you got. To the point where Soap started to brag about his nights he'd spend with you to TF141.

Price began probing about who, genuinely curious. Soap would never say your name. However, you gave yourself away after a briefing and heard Price being curious about who had Soap acting that way.

"It's me." You walked up and smiled at Price. Soap was slightly shocked you had given yourself away. And was even more shocked with the next thing you said. "If you ever wanna feel just as great, give me a call." You winked at him.

Soap wasn't jealous by any means, in fact sharing you with Price was something he really didn't mind. He had not expected you to be okay with it though.

So, you started sleeping with Price.

Soap and Price were much different lovers in the best way possible. You would spend the night with Soap, him going absolutely feral over you. Then you'd spend the next night with Price. Who was not as ravenous, but just as passionate.

This went on for a couple weeks. Just you, Price, and Soap. Never had the three of you fucked at the same time. But Price had plans to change that. And Soap had something up his sleeve as well.

"Soap." Price had approached him a questioning look. "I have a question."

"Good, just who I was looking for," Soap smirked, "'cause I do too."

You were in your room when a knock came from the door. It was a free night, neither Soap nor Price were supposed to come over, so you weren't sure who the knocking could be.

When price and soap entered your room as soon as you opened your door you grew hot. "you're both here?"

"We have a proposition." Price seemed serious but Soap seemed too excited to be serious.

They both stood in front of you, so you could assume what it was. "threesome?"

Soap shook his head, and held up four fingers. Your brows knitted together and you cocked your head. Before you could say a word your door pushed open further and you turned around. Your heart jumped into your throat.

The man you had found the mysterious since coming onto base was standing there. Simon 'Ghost' Riley. You swallowed hard turning towards Price and Soap.

"Is this a joke?" No way was Simon joining in...

"No, love," Simon grunted, "it isn't. Soap 'ere won't shut up about you, so I thought I'd see what the raving was about."

Your heart is pounding in your chest. Had Soap been seeing how you were staring longingly at Simon? Yes, yes he had.

"Is this okay?" Price asked. Soap and Simon waited on your answer. When you nodded, things were most definitely getting loud.

You thought Soap and Price were great? It is Simon's mission to show you how much better he is at everything.

Soap amazing at eating you out? Simon is going to one up him. Price really good at taking his time fucking you? Simon is going to show you just how much time he can to take care of you.

They let Simon do whatever he wants, Price and Soap just watching (and jerking it). But after Simon experiences you for himself, they decide to all have a go at it.

They take turns teasing you and eating you out. Seeing just how far you could go before they get down to business.

You're sandwiched between three very strong men and its very hot.

Soap is a freak (enduring) and loooooves watching Simon's large form pressing against yours while Price takes you from behind.

The guys don't leave without their dick getting sucked.

You are almost crying (positive) after they're done with you.

Super duper big on aftercare. Simon carries you to the bathroom. Soap would literally give you a bath if you wanted/needed. Price is telling you how good you were. All of them are the best...

At the end Price is ready to ask for this more often. It's a nice stress reliever for everyone. He may even ask if the others could join, for team bonding. Only if you're comfortable of course.

#cod mw2 #cod mwii #john price #captain john price #simon riley #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #ghost smut #john soap mactavish #john soap mctavish x reader #john price x reader #cod ghost #cod x reader #cod smut

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from-now-on-im-switzerland · 6 months

Note

Oh mah God, your jasper fanfics are so stinking cute! A continuation of the baseball one would be perfect!

Like maybe after hanging out with her the feelings get stronger and he decides to distance himself in worry, and the reader, albeit confused, respects him and is a little heartbroken. Maybe at one point he worries about her for a moment when Emmett tells her she didn't look well (she's sleep deprived from stressing about him but trying to keep it to herself) so he pulls a creepy (can't find a better word) Edward and shows up outside her room and senses her heartbroken ness and feels like he has it too but brushes it off thinking it's just hers instead of his own. She starts getting closer to the wolfs and he tries acting like it doesn't bother him and pretends he could care less when she starts sitting with them in the cafeteria after he shows back up at school. And it's not until Alice has a vision of her getting discovered by volturi and "ended" that he starts keeping an eye on her again, and when a guard of the volturi blends in at the school and he notices does things begin and yeah....or something like that lol take the idea into your jar of boredom writing or something 😂

I feel like you'd write this perfectly! And spot on with the jasper and his accent..

Uhm...YES!? You're so creative this is such a good idea. I should be doing my college coursework right now, but this is all I'll think about so I'm doing it right now!! Also forgive the gammer 🥲😫

Okay, it won't be a DIRECT continuation of the Baseball one-shot bc it's already part of of a different fic I'm writing. I'm just gonna take out Y/n's friends but the baseball game still happened okay?

(sorry 🙏) (I don't know if that made sense.)

>I just like the cold.

>Jasperxf¡reader

>As I said, not a direct continuation but instead the start of a new series? (lmk)

>could be a tad longer that what I'd usually write 🥲

>TW, Panic Attack

°Jasper's POV°

When I saw her eyes for the first time, in that cramped hallway, I melted inside. My icey veins (filled with the venom that could end her life in an instant) were fueled with warmth as they must've once been long before. And that all too familiar burning sensation at the back of my throat hasn't left me alone since I caught her scent for the first time.

I thought it was just me being hungry. I hadn't eaten that day and it could've been that she just had tasty smelling blood. But knowing my luck, that obviously wasn't it. I can't put my family through this again, I just can't. I've tried to maintain a friendship with her for the fair few weeks she's been here but it's getting harder and harder.

I can't believe I was once angry or annoyed with Edward for falling for a human. I guess karma's a bitch huh? Y/n has no clue about my feelings, I hope. Why would I tell her? So I think it's best, for her safety if I just stop being friends with her. It'll keep her so much safer I know it will.

"I thought that too" Edward said, appearing in the corner of my room.

I didn't jump, I heard him race up the stairs.

"What?" I asked, annoyed I was interrupted by Mr Thought Police himself.

"About Bella. Remember when we left for half a year? And I left her? I thought it'd make her happy. Safe. But it took us both almost dying for me to realise we were safer together.." Edward said, reminding me of the very thing I wanted to try and avoid.

"But that's you, Eddie. You and Bella, by then she already loved you, by then she knew the risk and by then it was too late for stupid mistakes. I'm in a grey area right now, where she doesn't know a damn thing and I just want to keep her safe." I said, sighing as I heard Emmett approach my room aswell.

"Bro, she really likes us.." Emmett said, racing over to the other corner of my room. "I mean for some reason you specifically, but she's told me! We're actually like best friends now so if you want me to be the middle man..just let me know." He said, winking.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I've seen you together before, walking around the school. You've been especially close ever since you almost abliterated her head with a baseball...but oh well."

"Do I detect a hint of jealousy, Jasper?" Emmett teased. Edward laughed as he joined our brother over at his side of my room.

"No Emmett you don't, because I have no right to be jealous in the first place, she's not mine to be jealous over." I said, not meeting thier eyes.

"But you want her to be." Edward said.

This drew my attention as I looked up and saw his face. Care and amusement radiating off of him.

"I'm glad you find my dilemma so amusing, none of us ever laughed at you, you moody asshole" I said, throwing a pillow full force in his direction.

He caught it. "It's just funny to see how much of a little boy you're being about something that is so crystal clear" he said, tossing back the pillow.

"Oh yeah? And what's that?" I asked, fed up now.

"She's your singer. Just like Bella was mine. I've heard your thoughts, they're too loud to ignore. That feeling? that burning? It's nothing you've felt around anyone else is it?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yes, but I don't want to have to go through the same old debate of “do we turn her or not” and that's even if she feels the same way.." I said.

"Dude, you're literally an empath. You can find out yourself" Emmett said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I hate using my gift on her as it is. The thought of manipulating her in any way makes my skin crawl, alright? If it's to help her then I can deal with it but I won't just use it to be nosy, that's not fair" I said. "you can still be friends with her if you want Emmett but I can't do it. I won't let myself drag her into this life. I know you wanted the same thing for Bella, Edward but maybe I can make it happen for Y/n. If anyone deserves a blessed life, it's her." I said, walking out my room, speeding out the house and into the forest to clear my head.

I just need to keep away from her. I'll keep her safe that way.

°Reader's POV°

This week had been..strange. Emmett had been even more friendly then he usually was; it was perhaps due to the fact that he could've killed me the other week with that baseball, but y'know, life goes on. And at no point had I even had a chance to speak to Jasper. Even in class, he'd moved seats. Of course, that was his last resort after they wouldn't let him change his lesson plan.

It ached my heart a little because, I really liked him and for some reason it's like a flip had been switched in his brain and he no longer wanted anything to do with me. It was Friday, and I was determined to atleast get a conversation with him.

While Emmett was babbling on about something to do with gorillas, I interrupted him. "Emmett when did you..uh...see Jasper last?" I asked.

"last I saw he was with Rose and Bella in the cafeteria.." I saw a small glint in his eye as he answered. "But..i don't think he wants to talk to you.." he said just as I began to walk off.

"Have I done something wrong? Did I say something? Is he..is he mad at me for something? Why won't he speak to me?" I rattled off a few of the questions I'd kept to myself all week.

"Woah, calm down. It's..." he hesitated. "it's not my place to say but I think he might just be trying to avoid talking to you because he knows if he does, he won't be able to not talk to you. " he said, in a really confusing tone.

"You've complicated this way too much than you needed to. Is he still there now?" I asked reffering to where he said he saw him.

"Pretty sure, yeah."

I took off without a thank you, which I felt bad about, but I was too focused on getting that conversation with Jasper.

I was almost running to the cafeteria, as I knew the bell was going to ring at any moment. I made it in the cafeteria and spotted him immediately, and he saw me too. His eyes met mine for less than half a second, before he looked to the floor.

He left his conversation with his sisters and went to walk out the opposite way that I was coming in. I ran this time, and caught up to him.

"Hey! What's going on? Have I done something?" I asked, needing answers.

He audibly sighed and closed his eyes, breathing in. "No, you haven't. You haven't done a thing, I promise." He said, and began to walk away again. I moved infront of him to stop him from walking away.

"Don't walk away from me, I wasn't finished. If I haven't done anything then what's the issue? Why can't you talk to me I want to be here for you." I tried to take a hold of his hands but he wouldn't let me touch him. And he didn't meet my eyes, he refused to even look at my face.

"Because...Y/n" I heard his voice shaking. "I just can't be around you, it's not your fault, you're not the reason why I just-" he paused, and bit his inner lip. "I just can't okay?" he said, pushing past me. He sped off down the hall not looking back, leaving me behind.

The bell rang through the halls, louder than I'd ever heard it before. It started to hurt my ears but my eyes couldn't pull away from his figure.

Tears swirled in my eyes as I watched him walk off, and my breath quickened. Then, what I feared, that feeling tightened up in my chest. No. Not a panic attack. I can't, not at school. I took one last look at Jasper walking off before racing back out of the cafeteria and into the school parking lot.

The cold air hit me like a kind wave, and the small droplets of rain coated my face as I looked up at the sky, desperaty wanting it to swallow me whole. It was a small sense of relief before the feeling washed back in like the tide. I ditched my backpack and jacket, throwing them on the floor, needing the coldness on my skin. I tried to slow my breathing down but it wasn't working. I made my way down the steps, now in a short sleeve t-shirt, tripping slightly on the last step as I made my way across the lot. My breathing wasn't slowing and I couldn't stop it, I guess I'd just have to ride it out.

"..Y/n?" I heard from the trees.

I span around, my breath not halting and my panic increasing. As my heart rate was about to rocket even more, Seth Clearwater stumbled out from the trees. I had met him a few times, he and his friends all the way down at the Reservation were good friends with the Cullens.

"Seth?" I aksed, I didn't want to start hallucinating people. That would be a whole new area for me that I wouldn't be able to keep up with.

He made his way over to me. "Yeah, it's me. It's Seth. What's going on? Hey...hey" he was inches away from me now. I tied to move away but he stepped closer in fear I was going to somehow hurt myself. My tears wouldn't stop and my head was looking very which way "Y/n. Look at me."

His order sent a small shockwave into me for a second and I snapped my eyes up, his face blurred due to the tears streaming from my eyes. He took his thumbs and wiped under my eyes, but new tears replaced the stains he wiped away.

"Breathe with me okay?" he asked.

I wanted to try, there's nothing I hate more than this shit. But sometimes you can't help but just ride out the attack until it's done. I nodded my head vigorously and he began to breathe, waiting for me to follow suit.

"Okay in..." he took a breath in and let it out softly. "..and out.."

I tried my best to follow suit but my throat needed as much air as it could get. And it kept speeding up the pattern.

"No Y/n with me, c'mon you got this.." he said, holding my hands.

"In.." he breathed in once again and I followed suit. "and out" he breathed out again.

Slowly but surely my breathing returned to a somewhat normal pace but my shaking didn't stop.

"there you go.." he continued the pattern as he slowly walked me over to a stone wall, and sat me down.

"You're freezing, Y/n." he said, touching my cheek after wiping yet another tear..

"I'll be fine..I like the cold when these things happen.." I laughed slightly, to ease the awkwardness, if there was any.

"I know, it helps a lot doesn't it?" he said, sitting down next to me.

"wait, you've-"

"yep" he cut me off, with a sheepish smile. "I get it. You're inside somewhere when that ugly feeling hits. You beeline it for the nearest exist and the air just gives you something else to feel. It doesn't stop it, but it definitely helps. The cold, it..it helps you feel something different other than that thing in your chest.." he said, describing what it was like for him.

I nodded along as he said so. "yeah..that's...exactly it." I smiled.

He looked up from staring at his feet and smiled back at me, before frowning. "Y/n your lips are slowly going blue, I know how much the cold helps but I won't let you catch hypothermia.." Seth said, pulling me into his chest and offering me a hug.

He was so so warm. It wasn't a stuffy warm either, the kind of warm where you feel sticky. It was that cozy warmth. That homely warmth on a winter morning.

I shivered in his arms at the contact. "Oh..jeez your pretty hot. Are you ill or something?" I asked.

He chuckled slightly. "No Y/n, I'm just a warm person.." he admitted.

"C'mon, let's get you back inside.." he said, rising us up to our feet.

"No!" I wriggled out of his grip, my heart fluttering again, in slight panic. I feel if I see him again today, I'll get worse.

He took hold of me again gently. "Okay..I'll take you home yeah? We just gotta grab your stuff that you graciously dumped on the stairs.." he said, smiling.

I laughed slightly as we walked slowly over to the steps. He jogged up them and picked up my stuff. He placed my jacket over my shoulders and carried my bag over to my car.

He walked confidently over to the drivers seat.

"I swear you're like..16 can you even drive?" I asked, a smile paying on my lips.

"I'm 17 now actually. And it's fine don't worry, hop in" he said, unlocking the car with my keys he must've taken from my pocket.

We got in the car and threw our seat belts on.

"Thanks for this Seth. Aren't you missing a lesson right now though?" I asked, I didn't want to ruin his education.

"Oh nah, me and the boys are on a part time timetable for this school and the one down by the Rez, so don't worry about it...anyways.....where's the handbreak?"

My eyes shot in his direction only to see him holding in a laugh.

"Uh. What do you mean where's the handbreak?" I asked.

He finally giggled. "Don't worry, I'm just joking. We'll be fine. I've never been to your house though, so you can be my sat nav" he smiled turning on the car, and pulling out of the car park.

°Jasper's POV°

I walked away from her. Every fibre of my being telling me to look back. I fought against it, but gave in. I looked back and saw a glimpse of her as she rushed out of the cafeteria.

What am I doing?

I felt the dread and panic leaking from her as I started to walk away. And I just left her. I left her feeling that way. I know I'm doing this to keep her safe but I can't pretend that I'm perfect, leaving her in fear.

Special thanks to my power, I'm extremely sensitive to even my own emotions and with years of practice I've managed to get a good control of it, but Y/n..I feel her emotions so much more than anyone else's.

My still heart is telling me not to go near her, to keep her safe...but her scent, as much as it tempts me, it deals me a great source of comfort..I can't explain it. I'm near her and I feel safe. I'm a monster and have nothing to fear really, but in her presence it's like we're the only two on earth.

Which is why I must do this. I can't that let angel be manipulated by the devil deep inside me. I won't allow it.

I let out the breath I was holding in during that encounter, again not that I needed to, but I think people would notice if I wasn't breathing. I made my way to the science block and yippee! I was next to Sire Brain Detective and his wife.

I was waiting outside the classroom to catch Bella before Edward got there. I caught her scent in the hallway and rushed to her side.

"Hey Bella, can you just maybe kinda block my thoughts from Edward please?" I asked, a sheepish smile following close behind.

"Why?" She asked, squinting her eyes a little.

"Well you've never had the problem, but Edward is very nosy. And I'd just like my thoughts kept to myself for today." I said.

We kept on walking into the classroom and to our seats.

"So it's nothing to do with Y/n then?" she quizzed.

Even hearing her name makes me feel sick.

"No. Bella..just please can you do it?" I was begging her at this point as I smelled Edward down the corridor.

She looked up as she caught his scent too. "Okay, but you owe me" she said.

"Thanks Bella." I said.

Edward walked in the class and met my eyes immediately, a hint of confusion crossed his face before he sat down next to his wife and realised. "Oh c'mon how is that fair?" he said.

"How is what fair?" Me and Bella said at the same time. We looked at eachother breifely before opening out books as instructed to.

°Reader's POV°

Awkward, sweaty and sleepless. That's all I feel right now. I close my eyes and he's there. I open my eyes an he's all I can imagine. Everything I tried, I couldn't get him off my mind. I even tried counting sheep, but the sheep soon morphed themselves into horses, then I soon saw him riding a horse, actually imagining him as a Cowboy. I snapped my eyes open and drank some water I left by the side of my bed, before making a last attempt to get some sleep.

After what seemed like hours of tossing and turning in the same directions over and over again, I got up and opened my window. Again, the cold air washed over me and it was almost instant relief. Just like Seth said, it gives you something else to feel.

I watched the trees as they swayed in the wind, thier green leaves brushing against eachother at each breeze. Out of all the places my Mum had placed me while she did her book tour, Washington was probably my favourite so far, well specifically Forks. Since the beginning of the year, (when my Mum's book tour started) I'd been placed in a random city in the state she needed to visit, and Forks was this really nice and small town. Where everyone knew everyone. Of course, the thought of litteraly everyone talking about me as the new arrival didn't appeal to me at all, but when I had moments to myself, it was impossible for me not to gawk at the nature around me. The grey skies, while annoying to some, gave me a nice comforting feeling. The rain, which everyone hated, was my favourite weather. I don't know what it was.. I guess I just like the cold.

I was pulled from my thoughts as my phone buzzed under my pillow. It was my mum calling, I answered of course, but I wandered why she was calling at 4am.

"Mum? what's up?" I asked, trying to hide my tired voice.

"Oh my god Y/n I'm so sorry.. I forgot about the time zones...go back to sleep, I'll ring you at a better time.." she said.

"wait what do you mean the time zones? you're in Washington too?" I questioned, wandering what she meant.

"No..honey, that's why I called. I got to my hotel and they said they had my reservation booked for next year, so they flew me out to the state I was supposed to be in." She said, sounding ashamed. "I tried to mention you, and say how I could catch my own flight..but.. they-they wouldn't listen to me..."

"Mum... Mum it's okay, don't worry about it I'll be fine okay? Just make me proud." I said.

"but I only gave you enough money to last a couple months not over a year..nearly two! And you're in your last year of school, what will you do all day? How-"

"Mum" I cut her off "I'll get a job, it'll be fine. You've been doing book tours since I was like 15, I know how to live on my own." I said.

"but that was when you were 5 minutes down the road...or a bus drive away..now I'm on the other side of the country!" She panicked.

"wait, the other side of the country? where did they fly you to?" I asked. The phone went silent for a few seconds before she answered.

"I'm in Georgia, honey.." She said. "I called you as soon as I had time, I'm sorry I've left you there, I can book a flight and cancel the tour-"

"-No, Mum don't. I'm not gonna pretend hearing you were in Georgia didn't scare me a little bit, but I'm perfectly fine here in Forks. I like it here.." I said honestly.

"but honey-"

"No 'buts'." I said. "Mum some kids leave the nest at early ages, some never leave..maybe it's my time to make a life for myself.." I said, with tears threatening to spill.

"I-in Washington, are you sure?" Mum's voice was shaking by now.

"Mum, I'm old enough. I know it's scary, it'll be difficult too but.. sometimes life just throws you in a new direction and you can't help but see where it takes you.." I said, wiping a tear from my cheek.

"Hey, I'm supposed to be the one full of wisdom little lady" she joked. "well...I guess it isn't the craziest idea you've had." she said, sadly.

"so yeah?" I asked.

She took a deep breath "Yes Y/n, yes. Start your life.." she said.

"Okay.." I said.

It wasn't long before I was off the phone and trying to sleep again. I prayed when I rested my head on the pillow, he wouldn't plug my mind, but much to my dismay he returned and my heart ached.

I closed my eyes and managed to drift off to sleep just before my alarm rang for me to start getting ready for school. The ringing of the bell threw me back to that moment. That moment he left. Just like that.

°Emmett's POV°

Since the day Jasper told Y/n that he couldn't be near her anymore, she hasn't been in. And I'm worried about how she's taken it.

I didn't tell Jasper I was gonna go pick Y/n up today as I didn't want him to go all emo and be like “ugh you're gonna smell like her all day!” so I instead took my absolutely, positively, non-judgemental wife.

"So why are we on our way to a humans house right now?" Rose asked me from the passenger's seat of my jeep. "what purpose is she serving us other than pleasing our noses?"

"Babe, she's my friend..and I'm worried about how she is. She didn't come in at all last week since Jasper didn't want anything to do with her, and I'm not gonna let my idiot of a brother be the reason she fails school.." I said, keeping my eyes on the road.

Rose went silent and looked out the window. "Just let me know when we're there.." she said, closing her eyes.

"That would be now.." I said, pulling up outside her house.

I got out the jeep while Rose stayed in, and made my way to the front door. I hesitated before knocking and waited for an answer. A good minute went by, so I knocked again and as I did, the door flew open.

"I told you three times already, Mrs Henderson doesn't live here anym-" she cut herself off when she saw my amused face.

She rubbed her eyes. "Emmett?"

"The one and only!" I replied.

"What are you doing here?" her voice was drained, and she looked a lot less bubbly than before. Her eyes drooped slightly and dark circles hung below them from lack of sleep.

"To get you to school, missy!" I said, not wanting to comment about the elephant in the room.

"But Emmett, Jasper said-"

"Fuck what Jasper said, it's your life and it's your school too. What..just because he's being a little bitch right now that means you can't get educated? I don't see how that's fair.." I said, crossing my arms.

She rolled her half-lidded eyes. "Okay, let me get changed.." she said, turning back into her house and shutting the door.

I celebrated my victory behind the wood of the closed door and waited for her to open it again. I sat on the step and prepared to wait, when the door swung open again. She stepped out with all her stuff. "C'mon then, let's go." she said, plastering on a fake smile.

"I thought you were atleast gonna cook some breakfast? It's like half seven in the morning..." I said, standing up and leading her to the jeep.

"Nah...not hungry." she said, climbing in.

I got in too, and put the radio back on.

"Hey Rosalie" Y/n said, tiredly a sheepish smile across her face.

My head quickly turned to my wife and I begged her with my eyes to be nice. But she didn't even look at me and instead looked for Y/n in the wing mirror.

"Jasper's an idiot, but he cares about you and he's doing this for your own good, I'd take it as a win." she said, before closing her eyes again and turning up the radio.

I started the jeep up again after a small awkward silence with nothing but the music blaring and began to drive to the school.

"yeah but does he know how much it's actually hurting?" Y/n whispered, any normal person wouldn't have heard it but of course me being a beautiful, immortal, gifted being...I did.

Passing through the familiar streets of Forks, it didn't take me long to get to the school, I parked the jeep and Rose got out. I turned around in my seat to face Y/n. Her sleep-deprived look catching me off guard once again.

"You ready girl?" I asked, grinning.

She sighed. "Not really, Emmett" she replied sadly, staring at a particular stone wall in the car park.

"Well c'mon, you got this. Let's go" I said, getting out.

It wasn't long before she climbed out herself. As she shut the door.

"Thanks for dragging me in Emmett, but I'm gonna go incase he appears from around the corner or something.." she said, with low energy as she dragged her feet toward the doors of the school.

°Reader's POV°

I couldn't thank Emmett more, I wouldn't have been able to get here on my own accord. It's just a shame I didn't have the energy to express my gratitude to him as much as I wanted to.

It was about 10 minutes until my first lesson so I walked to the cafeteria to get a drink. As I opened the doors, I saw Seth and some of his friends from the Rez sat at a table and so I wasted no time in going over there.

"What are you lot doing here?" I asked.

"Part time, time-table in each school! How do you keep forgetting that?" one of them said.

"Uhm..Seth?" I looked to him for help, I could barely remember any of the other's names.

"Alright, sit down." he pulled a chair from the table behind him and turned it next to him, facing their table. "Here we have Quil, Leah my sister, and Embry." he said.

I had only met the rest of them once but Seth I had seen a number of times, and he's who I was closest to...now for a very obvious reason.

"So what's your first lesson?" Quil asked.

"Science.." I said quietly, biting the inside of my cheek afterward to simmer down the anxiety I felt creeping in.

I started boucing my leg too, which Seth took notice to. He offered me a smile, which I returned, weak as ever.

The bell rang, louder than before, and I covered my ears, burying my head down against my chest. Each time I hear that bastard bell it gets louder and louder, and the memory of that last conversation with him gets clearer and clearer in my mind.

°Jasper's POV°

"I'm telling you man..she's-"

Emmett would not stop. I told him I didn't want to hear it, but he was following me all over our house, not leaving me alone.

"her eyes don't look the same, she doesn't have nearly as much energy as she used to, I haven't seen her smile, and if I'm being honest I don't think she's eating properly.." Emmett said.

Hearing his words made my non-beating heart ache.

"I've been picking her up all week and she never eats breakfast, and when was the last time I saw her eating in the cafeteria? Uhh let me think, I haven't!" he said, in my face.

I was looking at the floor, guilt riddling my body. She's like this because of me.

"I get it. Emmett. Okay?" I spat, my voice quavering.

He moved back slowly, almost realising that this was hurting me too, and left my room.

After staring out the window for another moment or two, I sped off out the house before anyone could question it. I ducked and dived between branches, breaking them if they were too big for me to dodge. I raced through the woods rembering the route to her house when I met her before school, when we first started to talk to each other. I ran to her. Wondering what I was going to do when I got there, would I beg her to forgive me? Would I stop this madness and just tell her everything? At this point, I couldn't see anything but her angelic face, and hear her sweet voice and before I knew it, I came to a swift stop by the trees of her house.

I approached it slowly, still deciding what to do, until I lingered by the side of the house where her bedroom was. I climbed up a tree that rested just by it and waited to see her or atleast hear her.

"fuck sake..just go away!" I heard her complain as she slammed the door to her bedroom. "You don't want anything to do with me so why won't you get out of my head!" She panicked, her voice wailing as she spoke.

"It's not fair.." she said after a minute of silence. She got up. "It's not fair." she repeated. She tossed her chair on the floor. "It's not fair!" she threw a picture frame against the wall. She repeated those three words, growing more aggressive each time and trashing a new part of her room until she ran out of energy.

She breathed heavily and sunk against the wall, sobbing. She cried, and it was like a thousand hot knives were cutting me all over. She cried and I had to fight as hard as I could not to rush in there.

She cried and I felt heartbreak. My breath quickened too, as her emotions laced with my own. Sat in the tree in that moment I didn't know which emotions were mine and which were hers.

She cried and cried until she fell asleep, and that's when some of her emotions filtered away from my body. Though she fell asleep and tears were still staining her cheeks, the aching in my heart wouldn't leave or subside. It stayed.

#twilight #twilight saga #twilight headcanon #edward cullen #jasper hale #alice cullen #bella cullen #jasper hale x reader #jasper whitlock hale #rosalie cullen #y/n #jasper hale fanfiction #seth clearwater #leah clearwater #embry call #quil ateara

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lunathebee · 2 years

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Pairing: Jake Lockley x fem!reader

Warning: fluff, Jake being a softie but only for you, no mention of Steven-Marc-Khonsu, basically anything from MK, he is just a cab driver here.

A/n: I enjoy writing fic with a 3 part/act(?) structure more than I thought (even if it is a bit exhausting) so I'm gonna give Jake some love too. There will be 3 parts based on three different songs, each dedicated to a phase in the love life of you and Jake. This is part 1!

Summary: One look at you and Jake knows you're his soulmate in this life.

Jake sat in his car after pulling up in a small alley, his eyes were tired and bloodshot. After letting out a long sigh, he began to search for his beloved alcohol flask in the drawer, among with candy wrappers and some wrinkly dollars.

Jake hates people, and he hates having people in his car even more. They might ruin the expensive leather seats he loves so much, but now look at him, not even bothered anymore. "What a life, being a cab driver" Jake thinks to himself while taking a sip of vodka from the flask.

As pathetic as it sounded, it was still a job and he had bills to pay at the end of the day. Jake decided to turn on the radio and let his shoulder relax to whatever it could offer him, maybe traffic news or even commentary of a football show. Jake needed a good rest and he couldn't do that without something playing in the background, it reminded him of how he used to let the TV play and sleep on the couch when he was a kid.

''Do you live in New York City

Or a couple towns away?''

To Jake's surprised, an angelic voice begin to sing, he waste no time moving around a bit to find the perfect position, ready to let the music lures him to sleep.

''Wherever you are, I'd jump in my car

Just to see you today

Will I meet you at a party?

Sit next to you on a plane?

Maybe I already know you and love you

But will fall in love some day''

That sentence stuck in Jake's mind. The thought of falling in love with someone kept him awake, unable to sleep.

Truth is, Jake has never known what love is, he has passed it aside because love can't get him a nice meal, or a full tank of gas. For Jake, love is something only rich people can afford, it comes with diamonds and jewelry, and all the shiny things that he could only dream of.

Truth is, Jake is too poor for love.

"Dear soulmate

Do you think of me? 'Cause I do"

'Soulmate, huh? It'd be nice to have one.' Jake thinks to himself, his eyelids getting heavier and heavier, until unknowingly, he has fallen asleep to the song in the background.

Ever since that day, the song has become something special in Jake's life. It helps him with his sleep and more importantly, it gives him the hope of having a soulmate in his already shitty life.

Being a traditional man, he made the song into a cassette and kept it safe under the secret drawer, only pulling it out when he needed to feel at peace or when he was alone. But today is different.

===☾︎ ☾︎ ☾︎===

"Could you put on some music while driving, sir? Thank you :)" Y/n asked the cab driver while getting into the car; she was slightly annoyed with the amount of newspapers scattered around the seat, but it's too late now and Y/n can't risk waiting for another cab alone.

While you're busy putting the newspaper aside to sit comfortably, Jake has been watching you from the rearview mirror with curiosity.

He expected a drunk girl from a party or an overworked guy who was simply too tired to take the bus home for his final ride of the day, but it appears to be... you. Jake doesn't know exactly what word he can choose to describe you, but somehow the smile on your face brings him comfort, just like the song he loves so much.

"Any song would be okay, yes?" Jake asked, eyes still focused on the road. He heard a quick "yes" behind him and that's all it took for Jake to pull out the cassette.

"Dear soulmate

Do you think of me? 'Cause I do

...

Will you make me butter toast?

Perhaps a morning roast

When I wake up and I'm sad?"

Once again, the melody he has heard a thousand times played. But the singer is not the only angelic voice Jake can hear now; he can hear your voice too. You're singing along to the song, not just any song, but his special one.

Jake wants to ask more about it, but he decided to keep his mouth shut. You seem really tired, and maybe asking about your singing would make the whole situation feel awkward.

In the blink of an eye, Jake has already driven you back to your home safely. You thanked him and even tipped him more than he asked for (which made Jake feel very thankful).

The story of how Jake has become a somewhat personal driver for Y/n is unknown, but whenever and wherever she needs him, he will be there. Y/n see Jake as a grumpy, overprotective guy, and in return, Jake sees Y/n as an innocent, needing to be protected girl.

The more they learn about each other, the closer they become, from strangers to friends, and finally... lovers.♡

#Spotify #marvel moon knight #moon knight x reader #moon knight fluff #moon knight imagine #jake lockley x y/n #marc spector #steven grant #jake lockley #moonkight #oscar isaac #marc spector x reader #steven grant x reader #marc spector x y/n #marc spector x you #jake lockley x reader

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welcometogrouchland · 1 year

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not only is darimila HYSTERICALLY funny as a crackship i think camila deserves a nice peacock of a boyfriend. i want her to show a photo of him at work and his coworkers are too busy wondering if this guy is an actor or a model or what to wonder about the ears or the goo hair. can you imagine darius helping the nocedas with groceries high heels and green eyeliner and god knows what else. MAN.

Firstly I love that this ask implies that Darius puts 0 effort into concealing his identity as a witch when he's in the human realm. This man is fully willing to expose magic and the demon realm in the town famous for producing a crackpot genocidal witch hunter everyone hates IF. and only if he can look fabulous doing it

I'm also on team Camila Deserves Nice Things anon, though I do differ on the details slightly, mainly because I'm sooooo enchanted by the Darius and Camila fake dating scenario I've cooked up in my brain. It both appeases the part of me that adheres to canon characterization of Camila as a woman who still, years later, has boxes of Manny's stuff lying around the house, yet to be put away, bc realistically she did not get proper space to mourn him when he died and she is not ready to move on...AND the part of me that, like you, wants Camilla's coworkers to see a picture of Darius and LOSE THEIR MINDS. HELLO??? THIS IS THE BAD BITCH SHE PULLED BY BEING AUTISTIC??? FR???????

And then I'm unsure whether or not I prefer Darius with romantic feelings for Camila? On the one hand I think, in the beautiful timeline where I actually wrote this, I'd prefer to have it come down on the side of "Darius and Camila are Good Friends who bond over how terrifying being a new(ly), single parent is"

and Hunter has to grapple with the fact that no, his family is not and never will be "normal" according to societies standards, and he cannot parent trap his parents into loving each other, but that doesn't make his family structure any worse off than something closer to a nuclear family.

Also I'd squeeze some juicy character exploration out of Luz bc she is SO not over her dad's death. She tries to downplay it and act like she is but she is not and it's very very clear in TTT. But she also wants her mom to be happy more than anything. And she loves love! And it'd make hunter happy! So she's just. Sitting there with gritted teeth trying not to get upset at the idea of Darius and her mom actually getting together and being happy.

But, tragically, I can't guarantee I'll ever fully write this out (though I fully encourage ppl to run with the idea if they like it. Please run with it I can't be the only one who's thought of this before) so I give myself a little more room to be silly and I say that. Darius is a person with a lot of walls up who likes pretending to be cool as a method of distancing himself from ppl, and I'd love to watch those walls get eroded by the overly sincere and silly sci-fi nerds that are his son-figure and his crush, who are also mother and son. Also I love the idea of Darius being a man in his forties with a crush. Yes!! Get more pathetic!!! Raeda is cowering rn!!!!!

IN CONCLUSION: I love you anon, I should really make SOMETHING based on the Darius Camila fake dating scenario, but if I don't, let this rambling serve as a testament to the GRIP it has on my brain

#ramblings of a lunatic #the owl house #toh #darimila #camila noceda #darius deamonne #the more i joke abt this ship the less ironic it becomes and I'm scared. don't do this to me #it's fine they can polycule it up with raine and eda /j #throw alador and perry in there too. watch everyone on the hexsquad slowly become related to each other. except willow. rip #ALSO i didn't proofread this bc it's very late </3 wish me luck that this is still comprehensible by morning

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virginmiri99 · 11 months

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Insider anon calling in, here with the show and trusting Tommycrit & Co with it

To start off very general I had a great time, it was very genuinely entertaining and there wasn't a moment where attention or energy was lost. On the technical side it was well paced with a followable structure and characters you did get invested in as silly they were. The audience energy was good and well commanded, and though there were some issues with people staff did get involved. I feel like the way I'm going to describe it won't do it justice obviously because live shows are live for a reason and my memory is awful, but here's the skeleton of it all

(There were two acts, the first act ends after the explanation of the events during the doxxing and the second act starts off with them dealing with it. I'll split the asks to keep the doxxing story in one piece.)

The First act! (- doxxing story)

Slimecicle introduced the show over a video montage, with the joke that he was being held at gunpoint to praise Tommy in absurd ways, it was a great build up to Tommy's show 'character', which entered on stage soon after (surprisingly he was the only one who seemed different in person, or at least seemed smaller than I thought). His character in this is the grandeous, egotistical money-focused persona he tends to draw on hyped to the max (an insane amount of stage presence and full use of his body and exaggerated expressions, I feel like no matter where you sat nothing was lost in translation). The entire show is initially presented as a step-guide on how to be rich and successful and sexy like him - aka. you have to be him, and the steps are consequently a life story (the actual meta reason and purpose of the show does get stated out loud later on). There's alot of crude humour throughout the show and I'd say most of it landed for me personally. There was never a joke in general didn't receive a good response which is great for such a heavily packed live show where there's usually one or two that miss the mark, but seeing certain parents faces in response to the joke poking at Christians was funny in its own right.

As you can imagine, the life story starts off in the, that's right, the womb, where he was planning his potential and success, only for Jack, playing his dad, to come in and tell an unsurprising, embarrassing birth story. Jack's 'dad' character is also the same old man persona he uses alot, the one haunted by war crimes in 'Nam and ever disappointed in his son, so, nothing like Iain at all (maybe the comment about Tubbo being Tommy's boyfriend came from a real place). The running bit in the show being his refusal to hug Tommy (Tommy's actual dad being on the sidelines of the stage the entire time and having helped write the script added to the experience in retrospect). The dad character sort of plays the 'realist' and the downbeat character, with alot of dry humour and directly addressing the audience while also being just as exaggerated as Tom's - got most of the parents laughs.

Then we get the wonderful introduction of Binda, as played by Freddie Badlinu, who is the character of a literal stuffed dog Iain bought when Tommy was a baby and back when they were genuinely pretty poor (also alot of humour about wealth and class which landed great with a British audience, it'd be interesting to see with an American one). Binda as a character is very childlike, and is bullied by the other characters for it, often being sent off stage (much to the audience's sympathy and 'aww's). Pretty much a metaphor for childhood and innocence in the show, being the angel on Tom's shoulder and a great contrast to the two other characters. There was an introduction song (Freddie does have a brilliant singing voice!) and a dance sequence as is theatre requirement (it stretched a few beats too long but nothing too painful).

This continues with a few more stories (these stories are presented as 'oh woe look at these hardships it took to get where I am!' before cutting to an entirely minimal and embarrassing childhood story), how he had to be his own bully because he was a lonely child (Jack, also playing Tommy's mum throughout this with a simply longer wig), how he fought off a monster aka. Betty (A massive two-person puppet of a hound was used before the actual photo of Tommy and Betty as a puppy was shown, it was a genuinely an amazing puppet prop) etc. I'm not doing this part much justice in description because there was a fair amount and it played 'build-up'.

From this it leads onto the introduction of minecraft in his life, and the story of the hammock collar-bone breaking incident, as preformed by puppets in a prerecorded video! (Tommy suits puppetry concerningly well.) He goes on to explain the switch from Twitch streaming to YouTube after being inspired by YouTubers such as Captain Sparkles and DanTDM (big applause, though Technoblade got the biggest) and then the downfall after being told he had to study for GCSEs (there's alot of humour of Tommy being rude to his parents and it going poorly, being either physically threatened or threatened in the 'British mum' way, which the mum I was sat next to found very funny in particular).

And then we get Covid! This part landed very well humour beat wise and the photo shown of the moment Tom and Sarah found out GCSE's were cancelled was borderline renaissance (elation vs. horror-shock.)

YouTube goes great (as we know), dsmp mention (not as big a portion of the show as one might expect, barely mentioned after this) and the shows leads onto the first time Tommy goes to Brighton, again in a prerecorded puppet video and song! Puppets of Tom, Iain (?), Wilbur, Niki, Fundy, Philza, and Kristin were the main ones used, and all of them bar from Fundy and Iain sung a part in the song! Tommy's singing voice sounds incredibly young I will say, not as in unpracticed or unskilled at all, just generally young like some of his older singing clips - for some reason I thought it'd changed more.

There's also a part talking about lawyers and the wacky things such as having to copyright his own face, which lead to another song as by Freddie Badlinu in a Better Call Saul inspired outfit (my favourite of the songs Freddie sang, very familiar to another production but I can't put a finger on which one).

Up until this point the story arc of the show has been on a solid positive incline which no really conflict, and the tone has only been humourous if not absurd. At this point Tommy alludes to things going to shit and to the point of wanting to quit, and the title card behind Tommy begins to decay in a block by block fashion. This is the start of Tommy's character dropping the act and instead acting desperate and upset, as he begs vaguely for what is happening to stop (leading onto the doxxing part of the show...)

[PART 1]

Maybe I'm just on my period but this first part to the show is legit making me tear up rn this sounds so well put together and a great experience I'm genuinely impressed just reading your TLDR of it. It sounds like it blends together seamlessly and I'm just honestly proud with what they managed to create. Awesome.

#ask #tommy is the problem #insider anon #tmmyLiveShow #long post

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firstyok · 1 year

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- Tonhon Chonlatee End Notes -

So, I've just finished Tonhon Chonlatee - yes, that notorious bl show that everyone is upset with. I'm not one of them, though. Like, yes every bl show, unless it's a classic one - have it's set of strong points and drawbacks, and so does this show. But honestly, I've immensely enjoyed watching this fabulous bl series. I was exposed to a lot of potential in this show. So, stay with me and hear me out on this!

Below, I've addressed a few of the strongest points of this show, along with the major flaws. But overall, it was a wonderfully enjoyable bl show for me, and I'd probably rewatch it's first episodes, once again.

STRONG POINTS

1. Chonlatee's Character

Ever since the first time I saw Chonlatee onscreen, I fell in love with this shy, kind-hearted, diplomatic, mature, and sassy boy. This young boy is the epitome of sweetness. Unlike most bl shows, where the bottom is often an innocent, reserved, naive, gullible boy who is constantly being taken advantage of, by others - Chonlatee is that sassy mature bottom, who knows how to stand his ground, be brave, and speak up for himself when he's treated unfairly.

Another thing I loved about Chonlatee - eventhough he seems soft, sweet and warm to everyone in his life, he is a strong person. He knows when to walk away from people, when to stop giving people another chance, or even knowing about which things to spill and which not. When he was badly treated by Amp, it didn't stop him from giving that woman a taste of her own medicine. He was firm enough to reject Tonhon when he found out about his kiss at the party, and carried that stubborness on until the last moment. He knows how to say NO, and that's the most attractive thing about him. Since, I often struggle saying no to people, this thing specifically made him so freaking cool to me. Overall, he is a gentle, warm, mature and lovely person, who also knows when to be sassy, savage and stand up for himself. I'm just sooo in lovee in with this boy.

2. Khaotungg's Acting

Yes, I had to write a separate point, exclusively for his acting in his show, because I was utterly impressed and stunned by his skills. Firstly, he was extremely adorable here with beautiful round black eyes, cute coconut hairstyle and he was so charming with a complete different aura, from the Eclipse. Since, my first exposure to Khaotungg's acting was in Eclipse, I'm only used to seeing his flirtatious gazes and seductive advances, but here! Omg, this man knows how to act in a completely different role of being a sweet, warm and adorable boy. From his minor, detailed eye movements to his soft, loving, low tone voice, everything in his acting was just beautiful and so damn enjoyable.

When you see an actor performing polar opposite roles flawlessly, that's when you realize how talented and versatile of an actor he is. After watching First's shows, I've finally watched another Khaotungg show - and trust me, Khaotungg's acting and screen presence gave me constant giddiness, smiles, and happiness. I couldn't stop smiling especially on the first episodes, because the setting was a lot lighter, humorous and fun, rather than the last episodes. I have been a huge fan of First ever since Not Me, but after I watched Tonhon Chonlatee, I've become another big fan of Khaotungg's acting too. I can't wait to see both of them in many more upcoming shows, whether as a couple or individually - I'd just be so happy to watch them work!

3. Best Supporting Cast

Now, believe me when I say - the Supporting Cast of this show couldn't get any better. It's absolutely the perfect supporting cast that the show would have needed. Where do I start? Firstly, the two amazing actors Mike and Toptap, portraying as Ni and Ai, were the best ever friend group the show could ever had. I was starstruck by their exceptional acting skills. Whether it'd be Chonlatee's iconic mom, Nam or his best friend Pang, the new rich kid, Na or even their new friend Miriam. They all are just absolute all-rounders at their respective roles. What is there that you won't enjoy about them? None.

It is safe to say that the entire Tonhon Chonlatee show was basically carried out by the Supporting Cast, whereas the main leads also did a wonderful job on portraying their roles. However, the Supporting actors wins on this, I'd say. These actors were the core essence of fun, entertainment and cheeky vibe of the show. They're hilarious, joyful and bring a sweet warmth to the show, they are also the best ever people one could ever find in their lives. Everyone is a loyal friend, they are helpful and has got one another's back. I think there's nothing more positive and beautiful than that.

4. A Simple, Humorous Show

To be precise, I'd describe this show as a simple, sweet, and humorous bl series. There are a few aspects of the show which aren't appealing, with complex ideologies and actions, however - this show still shines bright overweighting those flaws. The introduction of the first episode is hilarious, one of the best I've ever seen in a bl series. I was only half a minute into it, and I was giggling, smiling and laughing on my bed. Like seriously, the first few episodes were wholesome, adorable and endearing, despite a few disturbances, which could be ignored because of the stunning acting skills and vibe of the show.

The last episodes got a bit angsty, with a lot drama to overcome, but I cannot just forget all the warmth, happiness and joy this show gave me, when I was just starting out in the beginning. Many people have rated this series really low, because of how ending turned out. But for me, I believe it was a believable, sorta happy ending, which was needed for the peace of everyone. I was never a watcher who just rates stuff low because I didn't like the ending. I rate shows based on how much I enjoyed watching it. So here it goes, this show certainly over 8.7 for me, out of 10. I would highly recommend this bl to others who have backed out from watching it because of the scary reviews, but it is actually a lovely show.

WEAK POINTS

1. Tonhon's Character

Isn't it ironic how Chonlatee's character is in the Strong points list and I'm adding Tonhon's character here? Well, yes because he deserves it. Eventhough he is one of the main leads of the show, he is not a likeable character, due to several reasons. He is a tough, raunchy, macho dude ( atleast pretends to be ), who is too possessive over Chon, who is gaining lots of male attention in his University. He claims Chon as his brother but still obsesses over him like a psychotic jealous boyfriend. He doesn't like any male approaching Chon, atleast that's how he pretends, until someone sane put some wisdom into his brain that he actually likes Chon, more than like a brother.

Later on in this show, we realize Tonhon is always pressured by his family, especially his father to bring grandchildren to be an heir of his legacy - which constantly puts Tonhon in an uncomfortable position. I also hated how Tonhon forced Chon to hook-up with women, eventhough he showed absolute disinterest towards it. Tonhon even kissed his ex-girlfriend Amp, while dating Chon, which was really infuriating for me. I hate seeing my baby boy Chon crying like that, I swear. Eventhough the kiss was planned and tricked, Tonhon did that to satisfy his ego and show others that he is not afraid of women, eventhough he loves Chon now. So, basically - there are plenty of factors why Tonhon's character was not a good one, instead it caused a lot of drama and pain, but we got to know his secret feelings at the end of the show, and everything was sorted out peacefully.

2. Annoying Villains

The worst part of the show is definitely the Villains, without a second doubt. In my eyes, the actual villains are Tonhon's ex-girlfriend Amp and her friend Neung. Technically, both of them are seniors at Chon's Department of Food Science, and that's why they get exceptional advantage for picking up on Chon in every way possible. Let's face it; they are the worst kind of people. Amp is a popular girl but with zero friends, funny huh? Her personality sucks, because she only focusses on how to create drama with Chon, how to give Tonhon a harder life, while damaging the peace of the show, so effortlessly. Neung is a side-kick of Amp, follows her plans basically, but worse because he tried to harm and force himself on Chon, after making him and his friends drink too much at the freshers party. But, it was Amp's plan though. I don't who is worse here.

But that's not all. When Tonhon actually starts dating Chon, she even dares to tell his family about Tonhon being gay, or tries to break their relationship apart by that kiss trick. She is rude, and disrespectful - she threw water at Chon, thinking as if she has the right of it, because she is his senior. I cannot even explain how much I hated Amp and Neung. I was glad that Neung stopped listening to Amp later on, because they both together are the worst duo ever. Amp's character is very under-developed and never evolved in the series. She constantly strategize new plans to tear apart Tonhon & Chonlatte. I'd have liked it if we could witness a little realization on her side, that what she did was wrong and felt guilty for that, but unfortunately we didn't get to see it. So, basically these two villains are pure evil, nasty and annoying, without any hint of humanity.

Tonhon Chonlatee is a quirky, charming thai bl series, showcasing the bloom of an exceptional love evolving from the unrequited phase. The show features strong loyal friendships, lessons on unconditional love despite any gender, and showcases messages on LGBTQ with a flawed yet beautiful storyline, and legendary acting skills from the actors. I wish this show was more popular, because it certainly deserves more recognition than it gets.

#khaotung thanawat #poddkhao #bl drama #bl actors #tonhon chonlatee review #tonhon chonlatee #tonhon #Chonlatee #bl review #bl dramas

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kyiratodoroki · 2 months

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Feathers and Flames

Darkness Before the Dawn

Moonrise

🌒🌟🌘

"Alright, everyone, this is Oracle. She's a rookie pro who recently moved to Kyushu from the States. The agency where she completed her last internship asked the Commission to help her get settled, and I graciously offered my assistance when they contacted me. Let's make her feel at home."

"Thank you. It's an honor to be working with all of you." Himitsu bowed to the small group, fighting the urge to smack the man next to her. Most people wouldn't notice it, but she caught the irritating undertone in his voice that he always had when he teased her.

It'd been more than a year and a half since she first met the Wing Hero. They hadn't spent a lot of time together, especially during the first year, but now, she had more of the bird's time than she wanted. Not only did the H.P.S.C. assign her to Hawks' agency, they also moved her into his apartment.

Both of them argued against the decision for a dozen different, perfectly rational, reasons, but the Commission's lack of trust in her overwhelmed their common sense. They wanted her under constant surveillance. She didn't blame them for their suspicion. Her past made her reliability questionable, and while she had no immediate intention of breaking the terms of her "parole", the future was an uncertain thing. She certainly never planned to become a hero.

"Okay. Everyone get back to work now." Hawks chuckled as the others headed to their desks.

Their words were polite when they welcomed her, smiling with a practiced ease, but she questioned their sincerity. It was unlikely a single one of them was happy to have her there. Why would they be? Her arrival was an intrusion. She was a source of competition, and with how closely she'd be forced to work with Hawks, at least a few members of the agency would have an issue with her.

"Not you, newbie." Hawks winked as Himitsu began to walk away. He nodded towards his office door. "I have some paperwork I need you to look over and sign."

"Of course."

She forced a smile and followed him. The office was well-kept but lacked personality. There were no photographs, no decorative pieces that matched his style. A few framed pictures of the city and a newspaper article from the agency's opening hung on the walls, but she suspected Hawks hadn't put them there. The only detail that leant any warmth to the room was a cork board to the left of the desk with a collection of hand-drawn pictures and letters, mostly scrawled in crayon.

The moment the door closed, she turned on him. "You're insufferable."

"Geez, kid. What'd I do *now*?"

He smirked and stepped around her as he headed towards a desk of glass and chrome. It held only a laptop and a penholder, positioned so perfectly that she was sure they'd never been moved. The back wall was a picture window with a striking view of the skyline. Several buildings stood tall around the city, their windows reflecting the colors of the rising sun. There wasn't a single smudge to mar the sight. and the chair he pulled out didn't have even one crease in the black leather.

"Do you even do any work here?"

Hawks leaned back, hands folded behind his head, and laughed. "You seem a little testy. There's no need for first day jitters. I'm a laid back boss, and I couldn't fire you if I wanted to. You can't beat that kind of job securoty."

Himitsu wondered how the events would unfold if she strangled him. The Commission probably wouldn't take it well, ending her pro hero career before it began. *Double win.* The idea held promise, but as usual, her aversion to spending the remainder of her life in Tartarus acted as an effective deterrent against potential bad decisions.

"You're loving this, aren't you?"

"Whaaat?"

His look of feigned innocence made her reconsider the necessity to show restraint. The prison would provide a roof over her head and three meals a day. She could spend the remainder of her life reading and writing. Maybe she'd even publish an autobiography and give the world an in-depth description of the one hundred and one ways their beloved number two hero was a massive jerk...

*Gotta get a grip.*

"Laid back says the guy who had a fit the other night when he couldn't find the television remote."

"I needed to check the weather conditions for our upcoming patrol."

"It was just between the couch cushions for crying out loud."

"And whose fault was that?"

"You act like I threw it off the balcony. Besides, you own a phone. Two, if I recall correctly. You could've used one of them."

"I also own a television."

"Again, you're awfully stubborn for someone who's claiming to be "laid back"."

"There wouldn't be a problem if you just learned to put the remote back."

"I'm going to tell the Commission you suck as a boss and demand a transfer."

"Based on what grounds?"

"I could always claim sexual harassment. You had a pair of my panties on your dresser."

Hawks grinned. "Only because I found them on my bathroom floor. Want to explain that one?"

"Not particularly." Himitsu huffed, crossing her arms over her chest and allowing her irritation to mask her embarrassment. He had a lot of nerve. It was true she used his bathroom in the rare instances when he wasn't home. The shower and bath were huge, built to accommodate his wings; the room had ambient lighting and surround sound; and the picture window next to the tub offered a breathtaking view of the city. Her bathroom was nice, but his was *luxurious*. She refused to feel guilty for indulging once in a while.

"When were you in my room anyhow?"

"Last night. It's not my fault. One of your tee shirts was in my laundry."

"When? I was home all night..."

"You were in the shower and - Wait. Why were you keeping them?"

"Keeping..." For the first time, the hero looked flustered. He put up his hands and shook his head. "H-hey, no! Don't go getting the wrong idea. I put them down to answer the phone and forgot -"

"Uh-huh. Likely story." Himitsu grinned. His sincerity was obvious, but she couldn't resist the rare opportunity to throw him off balance. "I'm really not one to judge, but honestly, Birdie, you of all people shouldn't have to resort to such scandalous measures. I'm sure you've got girls lined up around the block."

Hawks stared at her for a long moment. One brow raised. He started to say something then stopped, chuckling. "Fair enough, but maybe you should stay out of my bathroom then."

"Not happening, hero. There's a towel warmer in there." Himitsu gave him her brightest smile then turned on a heel and left the office.

He called after her, but she ignored him, closing the door a little harder than necessary. If he needed something that badly, he'd come after her, but she needed to put some space between them, even for just a few moments, to breathe and center herself. The whole interaction - the whole morning - had her on edge.

Their banter was nothing new. It happened almost daily. Either he'd eaten her leftovers or she'd fallen asleep on the couch with the television on. Again.

Living together was awkward. She had her own room and her own bathroom, but sometimes the spacious apartment felt suffocating. The conditions of her "freedom" stated that she was only allowed to leave the building when accompanied by Hawks or another designated member of the Commission, so the only times she wasn't being watched were when she was alone at home and when she got separated from the hero while capturing villains.

She'd traded one prison for another.

The other agency members regarded her with curiosity as she wound her way through the office to the cubical that would serve as her workspace between patrols. She'd study files and do paperwork when she wasn't protecting the masses from the bad guys. She dropped into the chair with a sigh, trailing her fingertips along the edge of the desk. Hopefully, if there was some divine force in the universe, it was having a good laugh at her expense.

#mha oc #mha fanfiction #oc #oc and canon #himitsu tachibana #dbtd #feathers and flames #keigo takami #mha hawks #dabi in the future #oc backstory

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beebo-biris · 1 year

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ok been thinking A LOT abt that utena post and i think it mainly boils down to the fact that while I think they missed the point of utena and anthy's relationship with: (kinda spoilers, i keep some stuff vague sorry it'd be much longer if I didnt)

utenas arc is about her role as a prince/man and letting go of gender

by the end they ARE in love. the show is explicit as possible with having to abide by not having a kiss. there is: on offscreen kiss in the credits, mentions of homosexualiety and homophobia in universe. utena referencing the fact that she is just a friend in the beginning, the s1 finale w/ utenas realization, series finale (there is no straight explaination given the context), the movie is actually explicitly gay. very much so

"all girls are like the rose bride" this is about gender roles and all of the girls in the story. its vauge and its symbolism, it is very hard to put together. (this show is HARD to piece together) the dresses they all wear, the uniforms, all back this up. this is about societal roles, anthy is the figurehead

Utena's uniform is a mash of the two, thats why she has booty shorts i think

the men that abuse and control ARE framed as bad, and esp touga and sionji are framed as multifaceted. it definatly does feel like they don't really get what they deserve (more so touga) bc Utena rebukes him gently, but that is bc of her complex feelings of leting go of the system. if you wanna take it one step further I believe she is in control of the relationship and not being manipulated or snything in the movie bc hes not real hes dead lol

Anthy's agency being manipulation is adressed, by utena, and it's understood. the audience is meant to sympathize with her, and the blame falls on akio. I feel like her being a villan goes against what akio is supposed to stand for, being the true manipulator. Is she a good person? no. But she is a victim

I could write more, i may later BUT

the OP of that post was right about the racism stuff. it' bad. i don't know why they decided to make her brown but it didn't have the best intentions, and they didn't think enough about the implications of the plot. The only 2 (technically 4? or 5? some are reflections or illusions but act like different ppl) ((which is ALSO weird)) brown ppl are not well fleshed out with race in mind, and that part of OP's points shouldn't be shot down. Utena needs to be viewed with a critical eye and the show is NOT PERFECT. it is quite flawed. it sucks because i love it and what it means to me, and what it means to have a show so complex that adresses so many things, but I'd be a liar if I said the race stuff was handled well.

#tldr: utena takes a lot of critical thought to understand and I don't think any aspect should be left out when analyzing it #when we do that we discount it's biggest merits and biggest mistakes #i know this prob doesnt make much sense i sort of needed to just write it down #utena #rgu #revolutionary girl utena

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loyalhorror · 8 months

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uhh, the ask emoji fandom thing but whichever ones you want to answer for RDR, Black Sails, and Sandman, with a bonus side question of have you done any of the Manderville quest stuff in ff14

OUGH. marxz i am so fond of you (not just for sending this ask i prommy). let's see.

Have you done any of the Manderville quest stuff in ff14?

I DEFINITELY HAVE but I don't remember it at all... maybe @notjusthespongenextdoor can tell me what the fuck I did sdlfksndfkjg it was so long ago

👿Least favorite character

RDR: hmmm I can't really think of anyone I genuinely dislike as a character, at least within the main 'cast'? obviously everybody fucking hates Micah but I love him as a character even if I think in some respects he's sort of WAY too obvious as a villain in a way that makes some gang members look like idiots for allowing him to stay... but then on the other hand I think that's kind of the point + it's proof of how much control Dutch has over everyone. HANDWAVES.

BS: Fucking Vane. I don't like the shit he did in-universe to Max (though I will accept that that was a poorly written plotline in general... or at the very least one that made it just really hard to empathise with anyone responsible afterwards) AND I feel that his redemption arc was kind of "eh". But mostly I think fandom kind of burnt me out on him because I just don't get the hype around him.

SM: hmm it probably depends on what version we're talking about... I don't really like show!Lyta (whereas I love comics!Lyta) but I think that's just because like. The acting and writing in the show isn't always Great(TM). I can't think of anyone where I just HATE them when they're onscreen or anything in either version... with the show I don't like the scenes with Desire+Despair but that's because their dynamic creeps me out as someone who is VERY squicked by codependent sibling relationships in media, I love both characters individually.

WAIT. I JUST REMEMBERED. In the show it's definitely Joha.nna Constantine I'm sorry I just. Do not like the actress much to begin with. I also don't really like what they did with Constantine's gender-swapped design, so to speak - she doesn't look like Constantine at all aside from the trenchcoat. They couldn't make her a cocky blonde gal (preferably with short hair, give me butch sapphic Constantine or else)? I know they were probably going off what they wanted from the acting rather than anything appearance-based, and it's better to have a good actor who looks different than a bad one who matches the comics version, but. GESTURES. I wish it'd been ANY other actress skldfndkjfng. I'm picky with my cocky English people. The wrong vibe can turn it rancid.

😍Character you have the biggest crush on

RDR: HMM good question. it used to be Dutch (yeah yeah I know) but nowadays I have no idea, once a character becomes my blorbo/I start writing them longterm I tend to lose whatever 'crush' I had on them... BS: [head in hands] it's hal gates. i am not immune to fat old men. i want him to [REDACTED] S: HM depends on the day and it depends on which character(s) I'm relating to the most on a personal level. Tends to rotate between Dream, Lucien(ne), and lately, Hob.

💐Comfort character

RDR: John my beloved... BS: Somehow it's Silver, but that's mostly because of what I've written with my friend Seras over the past several years with him + Seras' Horst. S: Dream, most of the time. Sometimes it's the Corinthian (specifically pre-runaway era Corinthian) but not often.

❤️‍🩹Character who deserved better

RDR: Abigail... I feel so fucking bad for her in so many different ways. Not in a "John was sooo shitty omg" way (though he WAS a dick) but just like, man, what a tragedy of a life. BS: MAX. The s1 abuse arc was awful in a thousand different ways but primarily I just don't think it was sensitively written at all. It's not necessarily that I think they shouldn't have included it, but holy FUCK the like... implications that it leaves about every other character who stood back and allowed that to happen or was otherwise complicit in it is uhhh. Not great. S: Dream but also not at all because I think the tragedy of his story is my favourite thing about it. Like Abigail, it's "he deserved better if we look at it in-universe but from a narrative standpoint the agony is so fucking tasty and I wouldn't change it at all".

#rat.exe #rdrblogging #flintblogging #sandblogging #THANK YOU MARXZ

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7grandmel · 7 months

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Todays rip: 30/10/2023

The Lost Rip - A SilvaGunner Christmas Comeback Crisis Side Story

Season 3 Part of: The SilvaGunner Christmas Comeback Crisis

Directed by Keeby10, SparkBag

youtube

Part of Spooktacular Week! ● Requested by crickqt (Discord)

I was debating with myself internally for a loooong time over if I should even cover this one...as I've let on a couple of times before, I am a huge SiIvaGunner lorehead, particularly with the Christmas Comeback Crisis, yet its also something I don't really want to cover too much in detail on here. The CCC is, really, just a good ass series, with genuinely well done drama, mystery, character growth, visual style and music, the whole works. Its not exactly something I want to spoil or exposit over on here, is my point - I want people to check it out on their own! But The Lost Rip - A SilvaGunner Christmas Comeback Crisis Side Story is so, so much more than just a side story - its a ten-minute long, ridiculously high-effort bit.

Uploaded on the day of Halloween 2018, the rip originally had a far more straightforward title - Comeback Crisis [Episode 13] - The SiIvaGunner Christmas Comeback Crisis, or in other words the 13th Episode of the main series. This was, as is evident by the title switch - a bait-and-switch, to immediately draw the attention of anyone subscribed at the time who had been waiting for the rip. Now, this wasn't the first time this had happened for a Christmas Comeback Episode (it'd happened twice before, if I remember correctly?) but this time was different - this time, the bait-and-switch was part of the side story's plot itself. In truth, there's a second bait-and-switch awaiting viewers in the episode - this isn't a mere side story or a gag, but a full-on SiIvaGunner Christmas Comeback Crisis *CREEPYPASTA*.

The presence of Nutshackwoodman34 in SiIvaGunner lore is still not something I wholly understand - he's depicted as a normal guy who writes fanfiction for the SiIvaGunner channel, and said fanfiction has then been turned into joke lore videos such as this one. I'm not sure if this means he has literal governing control over the SiIvaGunner universe, or if his content is completely and utterly non-canon (which would suck, I absolutely adore Unusual Circumstances). Althesame, The Lost Rip works so well as a creepypasta story specifically due to how it plays with how fans just like us perceive media: despite being made by members of the actual SiIvaGunner team, it truly does just read like a fanfiction, quite authentically. Be it the killing off of core characters for no real reason, the invention of a whole new lore material that instigates the whole plot, and of course more obvious stuff like the intense edginess of it all and the self-insert character getting to help save the world.

In the end, really, it was all just a prank played on us, and a prank that's not really to be considered canon. But everything about it - the immensely charming crude-on-purpose art, the genuinely really enjoyable voice acting (SparkBag is still my go-to favorite voice for Wood Man in particular), the riffing on all the different kinds of Creepypasta material out there. Hell, I hope sentence-mixed Joel gets to be the canon voice for Grand Dad whenever he shows up in the series! But until then - The Lost Rip is glorious, both for me watching as a fan and me watching as an enjoyer of all things dumb-internet-horror.

#todays siivagunner #season 3 #siivagunner #siiva #spooktacular week #Keeby10 #SparkBag #christmas comeback crisis #siivagunner lore #woodman #nice >:]#creepypasta

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jmrothwell · 1 year

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5 headcanons: flowershop next to tattoo shop au

All righty, going to try and make this different than the 3 sentence Ficlet Tattoo Parlor AU I did....that's got it's own little world.

Let's begin (AN after the fact, this was sort of free write and I did NOT expect the direction it went)

--The tattoo parlour has been the longest standing storefront in this particular shopping center. Other stores have come and gone. After the tattoo parlour, the stores that have survived longest are, the used book shop, the music store, and a cafe

The shop directly next door to the tattoo parlour, the one on the corner, has never successfully stayed in business as anything.

--The important players at each of these stores:

Tattoo parlour: Julie(fell in love with tattoos after her first one in college) Used Book store: Alex, Luke works here but constantly threatens to switch allegiances to the music store. Music store: Owned by Caleb, run by Willie Cafe: Flynn and Carrie

--When everyone sees the corner shop is sold off their is a bit of a betting pool on what kind of store it's going to be this time and how long it's going to last. Willie comments the location is probably cursed

---Carrie wins the bet about the kind of shop by the skin of her teeth, saying it'd be something floral related. Though everyone is surprised to see it is Reggie who opens it.

--Reggie actually started showing up at the other shops before the corner lot had been sold. He was a friendly repeat customer for (almost) everyone.

--So now they're all we must make sure Reggie's shop succeeds if for no other reason than to keep him around.

--Suddenly all the shops have standing accounts to keep fresh flowers at their businesses.

--All the shops accept the tattoo parlour, which no one really understands. Julie LOVES flowers, and sure she's stopped by on occasion to admire the various flowers but she doesn't ever really seem to buy anything

--Eventually someone theorizes, Julie and Reggie probably never developed the same kind of working friendship everyone else had with the man. The tattoo parlour probably being the most difficult to regularly patronize.

----Someone points out it HAS to be more than that though, cuz Julie and Reggie BOTH act different around each other.

------Do they hate each other? Did they accidentally offend one another? What's the deal?

--It becomes the NEW collective mission of the shopping center to unravel the mystery and get the two to be friends.

send me an au and i’ll give you 5+ headcanons about it

#headcanon AU's #AU's are awesome #TattooShop/Flower Shop AU #julie and the phantoms

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staringdownabarrel · 11 months

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Lately, I've been binging For All Mankind. It's Ronald D. Moore's new show, but other former Star Trek writers like Bradley Thompson and Joe Menosky write for it, too. The concept is that it's this alternate history where the Soviet Union lands a man on the moon a month before the Apollo 11 mission does, and this spirals out to a much more extensive space race than what existed in real life.

Honestly, I really like it. The acting is good, the writing is good, the characters are good, the pacing is good, the effects are good. It's really interesting seeing where the show's alternate history closely mirrors real life history and where it diverges.

I feel like the big thing I'm caught up on in terms of the alternate history is how it treats the Soviet Union's technological development. On one hand, it sorta has to treat the Soviet Union as if it's on par with the United States for the premise to work, but on the other hand they seem pretty adamant about dealing with the fact that there were times during the Cold War where the Soviets duplicated American technology. While in real life, this was often based around the smuggling of computer technology (something the Soviet Union traditionally struggled with), in the show this became a thing during season three's mission to Mars arc.

I'm not entirely sold on this, though. Even though in this setting, it'd make sense for the Soviets and the Americans to still be spying on each other and trying to reverse engineer each other's technological advancements, I don't really think a culture that could maintain parity with the US's space program would really need to be copying technology to this degree.

I feel like a more interesting route to go down would have been for them to still essentially have moles in NASA, but still have their own distinct solutions to certain engineering issues during the space race. This would have made certain episodes much more tense, but still allowed for the solutions to rely on moles in one agency or another already sorta knowing how the other's technology works.

I also feel like given how much thought this writing team put into how US politics in this setting might differ, it's disappointing that they hadn't put as much thought into how the Soviets' politics might differ as well. The writers sorta assume that the Soviet Union would remain mostly a closed society the entire time like it had been in real life, but I'm not entirely sold on that being as much of a possibility in a setting where they both had moon bases operating right next to each other for decades.

All of that being said, I feel like the bulk of this show really is very good. Really, I think the best thing about this show is that the ongoing space program forces the United States to become more progressive. While in real life, most of the world has dragged its feet on clean energy, the United States achieved energy independence by the early '90s, and the don't ask, don't tell policy was ultimately a short lived thing before the gays were allowed to serve openly.

The other thing I think For All Mankind did well was that it didn't rely too much on love triangles for character development. This is something that Ronald D. Moore's shows have traditionally had problems with. Deep Space Nine, for example, had the Odo/Kira/Bareil triangle and then the Odo/Kira/Shakaar triangle. Battlestar Galactica '04 had the Anastasia Dualla/Lee Adama/Kara Thrace/Samuel Anders love polygon.

Ultimately my objection to love triangles/love polygons is that they're fucking boring ways of developing your characters. To me, they've always read as "Oh, we have this character but we don't know what to do with them, so we're gonna force them into this silly little romance subplot".

This was something I was worried about with For All Mankind because I sorta knew this was an ongoing issue that Ronald D. Moore's writing teams had. I was pleasantly surprised when this never happened. There's definitely some moments where the show edged close to a love triangle, but ultimately it never really committed to any of them because the writers probably knew it would have fucked with the show's pacing.

I think the ten episode season really is a good fit for Moore in this sense. It's forced him to focus on a balance between advancing the plot and advancing the character development in ways that make sense. I think the fact there's a decade-long time skip between seasons has forced him to double down on this, too.

The character development over the seasons also makes a lot of sense. The years between seasons can explain away some of the changes, but they're also consistent enough that they aren't radically different people from one season to the next. Ed Baldwin has temper issues in 1969, 1983, and 1995, Ellen Wilson remains career driven in 1969, 1983, and 1995, and so on. How their personalities present themselves change a little bit over the years, but whatever drives them at their core remains consistent.

I feel like this is true to life in a lot of ways. Yeah, people do change as they get older, but they'll usually have a few core motivations that remain consistent, too. It's just a question of what remains consistent and how those motivations might manifest themselves as the years go on.

But yeah, this is just a really good show overall. I'm really looking forward to the next season; this is the best new show I've seen in years.

#for all mankind #ronald d moore #rant

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weaselbeaselpants · 11 months

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If you don't like Ashi, Jashi, or Samurai Jack s5 that's fine. S5 is the only season of SJ I've seen in it's completion and it set me up for both Primal and UWE. I will say right now: I do think all the episodes of the original SJ are an overall better show than it's last season, but regardless, s5 was nice for me - a n00b who came into this series with that ending established and being weirded out hearing Uncle Iroh scream about

GREAT FLAMING EYEBROWS!!!

Back to my point though, where I totally vibe not liking or hating Jashi, I really wish people would be honest with their dislike of them rather than making excuses for why you didn't like them as a couple.

I'm sorry but Ashi and Jack NEVER had a father/daughter/teacher/student bond. Before even knowing they hooked up they really had the vibe more allies. Then there's the age gap thing....Ashi is a legal adult and Jack can't age and it's not like they met at all w she was a child....?

Where I pull out the Antiship card in me is the moment a relationship is unambiguously a paternal one only for the the writers to realize "they aren't BIOLOGICALLY related" last minute swerve; OR when the legal age gap has some serious power imbalance based on how the older partner clearly acts parentalmentorly to their significant other. If Jashi were more like Lore Olympus or BatmanxBatgirl, believe me, it'd be a different story. I know where the antiJashi people are coming from is the thing because, while I love me some dumbydumby basic romance cuz I'm forever 12 and not interested in having my own partner --- I do think it'd be awesome to see a platonic bond between a non related a man and a woman once in awhile. I think, moreso than it being actually teacher/studenty, people were taken back by Jack and Ashi's platonic bond in that sense and disappointed by them having to hook up because that's what men and woman are guaranteed to do in a 5 foot radius every time according to tv n film writing.

ngl I'm nervous about Zootopia 2. I really like NickxJudy, yes even after the abortion comic. What I don't like is canon NickxJudy. I really really liked their bond that could be just as adorable as toxic besties to weird friends w benefits. I love imagining all possibilities...I really don't want confirmation. Don't ruin my headcanons DIDNEY!

#the straights are not okay #jashi #samurai jack #ashi samurai jack #shipping wank #shipping discourse

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minervadashwood · 2 years

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i need to talk to myself about my fics. Do not read this if you don't want to be spoiled for any of my series. i may make this private, but for now i don't mind sharing. i need to get out of my head and the prospect of others reading/commenting helps me do that. (not that i actually expect a comment lol).

few things in the world are more boring than listening to me ramble about writing.

writing scars and stitches is giving me a lot of anxiety lately. it feels like i have a dreaded graduate school paper due on a novel I hated. but i don't hate the story. i love it, i love the way i've written the characters, developed them, developed their relationships. i like the freedom in exploring facets of all of them. i love how they all react differently to the same set of circumstances. i like the changes to canon i've made because they just feel more real to me.

the overarching issue is my perfectionism, which thankfully is not nearly as bad as it used to be. but my perfectionism usually makes me give up. I don't want to give up.

that's the overarching problem, the specific problem is that, mechanically, i want the story to do too much at this point. I want it to be everything, but no single story can do that.

one cause behind this urge is that since the relationship is established and going well, there has to be other sources of tension/conflict. for two weeks i tried to write tension into the relationship (daryl being too protective and distant mostly), but those chapters always felt wrong. they made my story so heavy, when i want it to be light. i want reader and daryl's relationship to certain and solid, something they both can depend on no matter what.

still, reader needs some growing pains. this is all in service to get her closer to Rick, because I need that friendship solid before the prison. I want reader and Rick to be as close as he and Daryl are in the show. (Rick and Daryl will still be close, only now reader will be included). When it comes time for the Woodbury arc, Reader will basically be Rick's diplomat/negotiator, while Daryl is his right-hand man. Basically Rick's the heart, Reader's the brains, Daryl's the hands.

So I need reader to be in a place where she is okay with Rick killing Shane and with Rick taking complete charge of the group. I need her to support him when the others don't. Daryl will too, but my focus is on reader. I am working toward that even now, but I feel like I'm walking on a tightrope. Post-farm, it'll hopefully be back to fluff and friendship building in the social way.

I need to give myself the same patience I would afford anyone else. I definitely need deadlines; I'd flounder without them. And I need to write everyday for the routine of it. I suppose I need to accept that I will feel anxious for a while. I've never written anything as emotionally mature as this story, so it's only natural that it's challenging.

Reminder to self: when in doubt, write the dialogue. Dialogue comes easiest to me, and it will let me gain confidence before I work on the harder stuff.

---

i feel very happy with the omegaverse fic so far. i have some major plot points, and i want to totally avoid repeating myself, so most show events won't happen on the page.

I thought of making Jesus transmasc, but I'm too worried I won't get the physical details right. So cis man he will be.

I have this metanarrative going on about two packs becoming one, the Dixon pack + the Grimes pack, and Reader holding them together. Jesus could be part of that glue, too, especially if he really cares about merle. I'm thinking of theirs as an open relationship, fully committed to each other, but still having sex with other people. It'd be really fun to play with his character being in the quarry group from the start.

i also had the idea of reader running into rick at a convenience store, pre-apocalypse, and have them physically drawn to each other, but of course neither would act upon it. later i see Reader ignoring any attraction to him, but Rick struggling whenever they're in heat and trying to avoid them during that time. The idea of reader having two mates would not occur to any of them at first.

still, i don't want to make any unshakeable plans for that story. it's very much going to be making it up as I (we--if people keep making suggestions) go. and that is such a counter to what s&s is. I think i need that freedom.

----

actually making these stories has taken them out of my bedtime comfort stories, so i have to find another one up and refuse to write a word about it.

#mdop #minerva meta #minerva writes

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ycurkxng-a · 1 year

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My Enemies Invisible, I Don't Know How To Fight.

Character: Dean King

Warnings: A lot of self hatred in this one lol and suicidal ideation (I don't feel like this bad I just wanted to write Dean going through it)

You're a real sack of shit, y'know that? You hurt the people around you then put on a show of remorse for what you did, but do you really think that changes anything? What the fuck is wrong with you, man?

Please. Please just be quiet.

One of those nights. He'd had at least 8 of these in the past month, and it was only the 12th.

There was no break from the hell that was his mind, and there was a pattern to it. The late hours of the night began to creep its way in, and Dean was left alone with his own thoughts. That alone was a fate worse than death itself, but he kept pushing through, as unfortunate as that was for both himself and those around him.

Dear god, why did he have to live with this? What the fuck did he do to deserve goddamn nightmare?

For Gods sake, he wasn't even in the double digits by the time he started thinking of watching his blood leak out of his body, it only got worse as time passed. It'd been intensified by the insane amounts of trauma he'd been put through, all that anguish, all that hurt, it manifested itself as an enemy within his own head.

Every night it taunted him, it drove him closer and closer to giving into his primal urges and to just stop the gut-wrenching agony that had become simply existing. Tonight was no different than the rest, it made him remember all the bad he'd done, all the people he'd lost, every little thing that he regretted was brought up like a shitty PowerPoint presentation.

You don't need to keep dealing with me, y'know.

Don't fucking start with this again.

I'm just saying, you've already died before, you could handle it one last time and let that be it.

For the love of God, just let me sleep.

Dean already knew there wasn't a chance of him getting any rest, it was pointless to try and argue with it. Pointless to try at all, actually. It was a part of him he was arguing with, he may as well have been playing chess against himself.

He pulled himself out of bed and slid on a shirt that had been lying off to the side, if he was going to be awake for the rest of the night he didn't want to be freezing his tits off.

In his head, he already planned out how the next day would go. Thankfully he had nothing going on, so he could just sleep when his body inevitably shut down on him. It was a way to rest without making it permanent, that was a win for him.

That voice in the back of his head didn't pipe down at all as Dean went to go out of his bedroom. If anything, it grew louder, more aggressive.

YOU CAN ACT LIKE YOUVE GOTTEN BETTER, YOU CAN PRETEND THAT YOUVE CHANGED- BUT YOU AND I BOTH KNOW THAT YOU'LL ALWAYS BE NOTHING MORE THAN THAT SCARED LITTLE BOY. YOU REMEMBER IT, DONT YOU?

THE SCREAMING? THE PAIN? OF COURSE YOU DO. IT MOLDED YOU INTO WHAT YOU ARE. AND YOU HURT PEOPLE BECAUSE OF IT. BUT YOU CAN MAKE IT BETTER.

P I C K U P T H E G U N.

In a hazy moment of weakness, Dean stopped in his tracks and shot his arm straight towards his bedroom doorway. His fist slammed into the warped wood and a burning sensation coursed through his knuckles, this kind of pain was something he'd unfortunately grown accustomed to over what seemed to be a lifetime of fighting. Despite that, it didn't change his visceral reaction to the pain.

A quick step back before he clutched onto his aching limb, his jaw clenched so tight it felt like his teeth would crush underneath the pressure. But through the pain, he noticed something.

...

The silence.

If this were any other situation, he'd be scrambling to fill the air with noise so he could focus on something other than his thoughts, but this wasn't any other situation. That voice had grown quiet.. only after he punched the doorway. The continued burn through his bones seemed to do enough to keep it quiet, as if his pain satiated it.

Dean appreciated the quiet while he had it, and without another thought, he went back to his bed. He'd deal with his most likely broken knuckles in the morning, for now he needed some goddamn sleep. It wasn't like he'd be able to have an opportunity like this again anytime soon.

#something productive. thats rare for you ;art + drabbles;#THE KING ;Dean;

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