won some money last week so splashed out on my food shop - it’s actually so nice to be able to sit and pick what i want to make rather than just scraping together whatever meal i can with what foods left in my fridge

To the Rhythm of the Ocean

Pairing: Jake Kiszka/reader

word count: 2,226

warnings: first person POV, the reader is mentioned to be an artist and bisexual but it is not important to the plot. Other than that its just a fluffy day at the beach. 😊

A/n: at last, I finally wrote a fic. It is extremely self-indulgent and was inspired by some anons that @safari-karrot got that I definitely did NOT send ;). I also want to thank Kate for being my beta! I worked pretty hard on it and im proud of it. Hope you enjoy!

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Walking into the elevator of my apartment complex, I was able to let my shoulders relax and my guard down for the first time all day. The day at the studio was intense today, and for all the wrong reasons. No matter how much I tried, I wasn’t able to create anything, as if all of the motivation and drive to do my work had burned out. I was burnt out. I was lucky enough to score an apartment next door to a pair of twins, Jake and Josh, who quickly became good friends. And even more fortunate, they had come back home this week from recording with their band, which meant I could spend my afternoon with them instead of alone in my own apartment. 

I entered my house and set my bags and work down on the dining table. It was impossible to make out where the table was under pile of unfinished sketches and work plans, but that was a tomorrow problem. I put on the kettle to make some tea and shot Jake a text asking if I could come over. 

  Jake... in the last couple of years that i have known the twins, the have become an indispensable part of my life. We take turns cooking for the three of us and hosting movie nights, an even go do laundry together. Having them away for so long felt like a hole had been carved out of my soul, and it also made my harboring crush on Jake ache deeper and deeper. He was unlike anyone I had ever met, we understood each other in a way I never thought I would have with anyone, yet he was still an enigma. He was insanely talented and driven, and he was smart. And kind. And funny. And extremely easy on the eyes. I would never tell him this though, his friendship is all I can get, and I’ll learn to live with that. 

His text came back telling me that his door was open. I finished and drank my tea, washed my face, changed into more comfortable clothes, and made my way next door. 

When I came into the twins’s apartment Jake was sitting on the sofa playing his guitar, a small notebook sat on his lap. At my entrance, he sent a smile my way, but continued playing. 

“Where is Josh?” 

“He’s out filming. Why, did you need him?” 

“No, just wonderin’.” 

“You know, if you just want to hang out with me to try to get into my brother’s pants, you could have just told me. And I want no part of it. Here I was thinking we were best friends.” He teased and wiped fake tears from his eyes, but his smile said that he was just messing. That did not, however, stop my nerves. Best friend.

“I do not want to get into your brother’s pants, Jake. They wouldn’t fit me.” I took of my boots and plopped on the couch next to him. “I’m your best friend?! What about Josh, Danny and Sam?”

“That’s different, they’re my brothers.”

“Hm... I guess you’re a fine friend too, one could even say the best one I’ve had.” Friend. 

“And the best one you’ll ever have.” He set his guitar down to his other side, “how was the studio today? Any new paintings?“ 

I let out an exasperated sigh “I wish. I am incredible burned out, I can barely even pick up a pencil! I have gotten close to nothing done all week and Rachel keeps asking me out, I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Rachel? What did you say?” If I didn’t know better I would’ve thought I saw pain flash across his face.

“I told her no, but that is besides the point. I’m just so out of it...” 

“You do look like you need some adventure.”

“You could say that” 

“You know what?” He got up from the couch and pulled me to stand with him. “I’ll give it to you. Go get dressed, I’ll get everything ready.” 

  “What? Where are we going?”

“If i tell you it wont be a surprise. Now go to your house and get ready.” 

“Then what do I wear?”

He seemed to think about it for a while, then said “something comfortable, but tropical.” 

“Jake, that tells me absolutely nothing—“

“You’ll figure it out. Now leave, and don’t come back unless you’re on party business.” It was futile to keep going so I just stuck my tongue back at him and walked out of the door and into my apartment. 

I settled on wearing a short blue sundress, boots, and a pair of sunglasses. I walked back into his apartment to find Jake in the shortest shorts i have even seen him wear, an unbuttoned white shirt, and his signature combination of necklaces and a bucket hat. “Are those Sam’s?” 

“No, I own shorts too.” He put down two boxes on the coffee table and looked me over once. “That is exactly what I meant! Now carry this to the car.” He handed me a box full of snacks and drinks and we made our way down to the car. 

I rode shotgun. He still refused to tell where we were headed. No matter how much I pushed and tried to wear him down, he just said to wait and find out. We got busy talking and listening to music and I gave up asking. Instead, I admired the scenery passing around us, and I admired Jake, with the windows down, his hair wild in the wind, and rocking out to our playlist. He had the ability to make me happy by just taking me on a drive. He didn’t even have to try. 

Eventually the buildings turned into trees, and the trees to palm trees, until finally we arrived at a clearing by the ocean. Jake parked the car, “We’re here!”

“You brought me to the beach!” He brought me to the beach! The ocean! The one place I loved most in the world. “I could marry you right now!” I threw my arms around him and jumped out of the car. My boots were off in a second and by the next my feet were already in the water. Jake did the same before joining me at the shore. 

“So, was it a good surprise?” I could hear his smile without even looking at him. And he knew the answer before I even spoke.

“The best! Thank you, Jake. Really.” 

We set on an easy pace through the shore, side by side. Each picking out seashells and skipping rocks on the water. The sun wasn’t unbearable, for it was afternoon. The sky was blue and almost cloudless, the only thing that altered it were the shapes of birds flying overhead. The sand was coarse and stuck to our feet, but it wasn’t burning. The sea... it was an array of the bluest blues one could imagine, all coexisting for our pleasure. Jake was glowing,  and I must have been too, I was incandescently happy. 

Back at the car, I set out our snacks and liquor while Jake put in some music. Halfway through our first meal and first bottle, Jake turned up the radio, and waited for my reaction.

“I love this song!”

“I know you do, thats why I put it.” He took our food and put it away on the roof of the car; and for the second time today, pulled me by the hand to stand. “let’s dance” 

His touch sent electric currents up my back. Best friend. “this song isn’t danceable, Jake!”

“It is if we want it to be.” And he held my hand in his and dragged me towards the clearing. The breeze was calming, the sea was a splendid blue. The waves lapped at the shore, not strong enough to disrupt our song.

Turns out, the song was danceable after all; and so were all the others that came after it. We held each other while we took turns twirling and laughing, belting our lyrics and acting out the drama of the songs. Every lick of his fingers on my skin left a burning sensation, yet I couldn't get enough. If he knew what this was doing to me... If he knew I was drunk on him and falling on every shared glance, every smile, every touch. 

The sun started its descend and our dancing got closer. He held his hands of my waist, my chest pressed against his, my hands on his shoulders as we swayed around our little ballroom of a clearing. My spine tingled, with every inhale, I got drunk in his scent of pine and peppermint.   

We got lost in our dancing, and then he got lost in the horizon. The sky had started to turn all shades of orange and pink, the water glimmered upon our eyes like tiny mirrors. A pelican flew over us and dived into the water in search for dinner. 

We had stopped moving, yet his hands remained placed at the small of my back, he looked at ease. My fingers twirled a strand of his hair, he didn’t mind. 

He looked like he belonged in the landscape, to the oranges and pinks that tinted the sky, he belonged to nature.

And I belonged looking at him, within arms reach yet so unattainable. He would always be a mystery. There was always more to him than met the eye, and even after years of knowing him, I hadn’t deciphered him completely. And I didn’t intend to, he was just like that. And he wasn’t mine to understand like that. 

If all I would get were stolen glances with the setting sun as out witness, I’d take it. Because right here, right now, the sight before me was one to behold. Jakes eyes were transfixed on the horizon, his mouth agape. The sun was finally hiding behind the waves, which mean our day was coming to an end. I tried not to think about it, I wouldn’t let the sun steal the light of this day from me. Ocean breeze ruffled his long hair, and as I saw the last light of day melt into his golden brown eyes, I knew that home wasn’t a place. Home is a person. And he was mine. But he would never know, for I doubted I’d be his. 

I was thrown out of my daydream when he slightly pulled back and chuckled. “ So home is a person, huh?” 

“I— “ I said that out loud. Shit shit shit. I just stared at him like a deer in the headlights. There was no way to dig myself out of this, so I remained silent. Though my hear was beating like a drum and I was certain that he could feel it due to how close he still held on. Best friends don’t say that. 

There was a shit-eating grin on his face, one that said he certainly knew what was going through my head. Instead of taunting me further, he said the words I’d most longed fo hear. 

“Then you are certainly mine” 

Nothing could stop the smile that broke out across both of our faces at that.  “And you mine” 

Before he had time to reply, I grabbed his face and pulled his lips to mine. There was static in the air, his lips were incredibly soft and tasted of coffee and chocolate. His mouth moved with expertise against mine, he held me close. Closer. Closer even still, until there was no space left between us. My heart was pounding, he licked at my bottom lip asking for entrance, which I gave, and deepened the kiss. My hands held on to him tightly, as if he would disappear would I let go. He dipped me slightly and I swore I would fall on the sand if he hadn’t held me. The purple sky could’ve turned bright yellow and I would have paid no attention. 

We pulled apart for air and the sun was completely gone. 

“Jake, I—“

“I know, I feel it too. I have for a while.”

“I was so scared that you wouldn't. Ive felt this way for you for the longest time, I—” 

“But I do!” 

“But you do!”

He pecked my lips and whispered close to my ear “And if you want, we’ll make it official. Right now. You and me, and a million sunsets to come.”

“I’m yours for as long as you want me, Jake.”

“And I’m yours forever, y/n. Even when i’m far away.” 

No words could describe what I felt. It’s as if my blood was replaced by honey and my ribcage contained the moon in all her love and glory.  “I wish I could stay here forever, in this moment. With you, and round the world.”

“Check the trunk.” He smiled too wide and untangled his arms from mine.

I reluctantly let go of him and walked towards the car. He tossed me the keys and I popped the trunk open to see the second box Jake hadn’t let me look into. I opened it and found all sorts of camping gear: One tent, two sleeping bags, toiletries, even pajamas. Jake creeped up behind me and slid his arms around my waist. I turned around with an incredulous grin.

“Is that a tent?!”

“That is a tent, sweetheart.”

The end.

—- A/N: I literally CANNOT write unless its in 1st POV. This is 100% self-indulgent, and I have no idea how to write a kiss. Hope you enjoyed it nonetheless! 

Enough Pt. 10

A/N: What is up my peeps! Here is part 10, I hope you guys enjoy it! Feedback is always welcomed/wanted! Happy Reading!

WARNINGS: 18+, SMUT

Chanyeol knew that what he was doing was borderline insane. He didn’t understand it himself, really. It was as if something possessed his body and took over his normally cool and collected self. He felt powerless to his impulse, the need to know the information he wanted overpowered his sense of what’s right and what’s wrong. But then again, he felt like he didn’t know how to properly differentiate from the two. He often knew what was right but didn’t always do it. 

‘It’s okay to look. It’s for research purposes. I just want to see what she is up to. There’s nothing wrong with that…’ Chanyeol thought as he willed himself to open up his Instagram app and type your name in the search box. He groaned in frustration as thousands of pages popped up with similar names to yours. When you two were hooking up he never added you in any of his social media accounts. He figured that it would make things less complicated if you weren’t there to see all the posts he would like and comment on or get tagged in. He didn’t want anything messy or complicated and that’s why he used to be fine with not having you on his social media. 

After weeks of not hearing from you or being able to get into contact with you, he finally decided to hit rock bottom and look you up online. The only problem is that it seemed like everyone and their mother had the same name as you. Trying to find your profile was going to be a wild goose chase, so he went on Suho’s instagram to look up Mina and from there to look for you. Thankfully that plan worked perfectly because he was able to find you right away in Mina’s followers list. He was very relieved when he saw that your page was public, giving him access to your photos without having to follow you. If your account had been private, he knew he was not going to add you because he was too prideful. 

Your instagram feed was pretty safe; it consisted of photos of food, landscapes, photos of you and Mina and a few cute selfies. There was a photo that caught his attention. At first sight it only looked like a photo of a coffee cup at a cafe, but once he clicked on the photo and zoomed in, he could see the corner of a face that appeared to be of a man. There was no indication on the caption that you were with anyone in particular and no one was tagged. The caption read ‘it’s always coffee o’clock’. Which meant nothing because you were obsessed with coffee. The person in the photo could be a guy but it could also be a girl with a short hair style. Or it could be a coworker and nothing else. 

‘No need to freak out.’ Chanyeol thought, ‘it’s probably nothing. She is probably too busy to date anyway.’ 

He couldn’t help himself and clicked on the comments to see what people wrote. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary… until he saw the one comment.

Itsminakim: drink water hoe ;p

Itssuhokim: im surprised you don’t have kidney failure by now

Gldnboiijk: noona! I miss getting you coffee! Plz come back to seoul. I miss you >.<

Jjh_2019: i’m glad i met the person that loves coffee as much as i do :D

The last comment rubbed Chanyeol the wrong way even though it wasn’t necessarily a flirty or incriminating comment. Something about it just bothered Chanyeol and he couldn’t understand why. He clicked on the profile and was annoyed at the fact that this person’s profile was private. All he could see what that his name is Jung Jaehyun and that he works for Friends Corp as well. He clearly is one of your coworkers, and hopefully nothing else. Chanyeol finally sighed and put his phone away, deciding that he did enough digging for one day. You seemed to be having a good time in New York and he should be happy for you. And he was, he just hoped he could talk to you. He had been busy at work producing music for a multitude of artists, his songs actually being very successful. He was elated at the fact that he had an actual career now doing something that he loved and it was going well for him now. 

He finally felt like he was getting his life together and he wanted to keep improving as a person. He wanted to be someone that you would be proud of and would be willing to give him a second chance. You were almost halfway through your year-long project contract and he was really hoping he could get in touch with you by the time you got back. Suho was still being a hardass and not budging on giving him any more information about you. It sucked that even his close friend didn’t believe that he could change and be more serious about his relationships. 

“Mr. Park.” Jihyo said as she knocked on his office door.

“Yes, come in.” He said, putting his phone away in his drawer.

“Ms. Kim is here with her manager. They’re in the conference room and they’re ready to start on the new single.” Jihyo informed, holding the door open for Chanyeol.

“Thank you Jihyo.” He followed her out the door and to the conference room.

‘No time to focus on those things. It’s time to focus on work and grind.’ He thought, putting on a smile on his face as he walked into the conference room, ready to tackle a new project.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

After a long week of work you were glad to finally be able to relax and enjoy your time off. The pop-up project was halfway completed and it was crunch time. You were busy setting up meetings with local newspapers, magazines, tv stations and online blogs. You had endless conference calls and meetings. What helped you stay sane was working with your three favorite boys, endless cups of coffee and the foot massages Jaehyun would give you after long days of meetings and presentations. 

You filled up your bath with lavender salts and turned on some relaxing music. You started to undress and you slowly sat down on the tub, letting out a low groan at the feeling of the hot water relaxing your muscles. 

“I brought that wine. Still want it?” Jaehyn asked as he walked into your bathroom with two glasses of wine. 

“Yes please.” You sat up and excitedly grabbed the wine glass form Jaehyun.

He sat down on a stool you had in your bathroom and sipped on his wine with a smile on his face as he watched you relax as you drink your wine. He eyes the wet skin of your chest and looks away before his thoughts get too carried away. Ever since you two took your relationship to the next level, it was something you did almost on a daily basis. Jaehyun basically moved into your apartment because he mostly stayed at your place now. You’d go to work together, go home together, ate dinner together and fall asleep in each others arms after some passionate lovemaking. He already had some clothes at your place, occupying a small part of your closet. Your bathroom vanity also had his hair products, toothbrush and other personal items. Jaehyun was very excited about the way your relationship was going and he hoped it kept getting better. 

“So are you just going to sit there and stare off into space or are you going to join me?” You asked, amused at Jaehyun’s spaced out expression. You figured he was also very tired from the long work week and you thought he might need to relax as well. 

“You want me to join you? I don’t want to interfere with your relaxing bath.” He said, taking your empty glass away and putting it on the sink. 

“You won’t. Come in and relax with me.” You said with a sly smile, moving your hand in the water and making waves.

“Well if you insist.” He said with a chuckle. He quickly undressed and he was in his naked glory before you knew it. You gulped and looked away as he walked towards the tub. You don’t know why you got so shy all of a sudden. You have seen him naked multiple times but you couldn’t help the way your body reacts to him. You didn’t want to push him to anything because you were both tired, but you were insatiable when it came to Jaehyun. 

He got in behind you and tried to adjust himself in the small space. You tried to wiggle your body away from him so he had more space to get comfortable in but you were stopped by his hands on your hips. 

“Babe, unless you want me to have a problem, I’m going to need you to stop moving.” He bit out, trying to keep his growing erection away from your body. 

“Sorry.” You said sheepishly, relaxing your body against his and placing your hands on top of his as they rested on your waist. 

You hum in contentment as your body started to relax, enjoying the warmth of the water and the heat that was radiating off Jaehyun’s body. He was enjoying having you in his arms but the way the water moved around him and your soft body on full display for him was making his body react in a carnal manner. He was trying hard not to focus on it, but his body had a mind of his own. You felt his erection press against your lower back and you tried to hold back the smile that was trying to escape. Jaehyun has very high stamina and you honestly are not complaining about it. It was so cute how he made no move to relieve himself of his needs and it warms your heart just how considerate he is of you and your needs. However, when it came to Jaehyun, you were very insatiable. He could take you over and over, day after day and you would not get tired of it. Deciding to put an end to both of your misery you turn around as best as you could in the cramped space of the tub, facing Jaehyun with a sly smile on your face.

“What are you doing?” He asked with an amused smile on his face. 

“I wanna kiss you.” You tried to hover above him and he adjusted himself so you could slip your thighs around him easier.

You leaned in to kiss him, your chest pressed up against him sensually with the way the water caressed both your bodies. Jaehyun kissed you back with fervor, allowing his hands to roam your hips and thighs, eventually making it to your ass and squeezing slightly. His actions made you moan into his mouth which fueled the need in him. His erection was pressing against your thigh and you couldn’t take it anymore. You were already soaking wet and you just needed Jaehyun in you. Breaking the kiss, you widen your stance even further and move up Jaehyun’s body, aligning your center with his hard cock. He guides your hips as you sink down on him, groans leaving both your mouths as you feel yourself being stretched out by his thick cock.

“You feel so good.” You pant against his neck, the stimulation of the water and his dick was overwhelming.

“I can’t get enough of you baby.” Jaehyun grunted, snapping his hips upward as he pounded into you.

You moaned at the feeling, not really worried at the fact that water was splashing everywhere and making a mess. You were more occupied with what was going on between your thighs.

“Fuck baby, I think I’m going to cum.” Jaehyun panted, throwing his head back with a low moan as you moved yourself up and down on his cock, squeezing your walls around him. 

After a few more thrusts you felt yourself come undone, a low moan escaping your lips and you shuddered on top of Jaehyun. Your pussy clenching around him is what finally brought him to his climax, both of you panting and holding each other in the blissful aftermath. You pulled away slightly to look at Jaehyun and you couldn’t help but smile at him, leaning in to kiss him with ernest. The kiss was electrifying and soon the kiss became more intense and urgent. 

You laid on your bed face down with nothing on but your fluffy bathrobe. Your mind and body were exhausted and all you wanted to do was sleep even though your stomach was rumbling loudly. After your session in the bathtub with Jaehyun, he gave you one more orgasm in the bathtub and another one in the shower. By the time you were out of the shower you were clean and exhausted. Jaehyun had to help you into your robe and carry you to the bed because your legs felt like jelly and they weren’t functioning properly. Once he left you on the bed, he got dressed and left to the kitchen. You were finally dozing off when you heard the bedroom door open, making you open one eye to see Jaehyun come in with a pizza box in hand.

“Hey babe, I have dinner. You should eat something before you sleep, you had a rough day.” He said, slyly putting emphasis on the word rough.

You rolled your eyes and sat up to sit at the head of the bed, happily accepting the plate that Jaehyun hands over. He also brought you some ginger ale and set it down on the night stand beside you. He turned on the tv to put on your favorite tv show while you ate. You felt blissfully happy like this, next to Jaehyun and in your home. Once you were done eating and brushed your teeth, you fell asleep almost instantly wrapped in Jaehyun’s arms. 

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

 It was Sunday night and you were folding laundry while watching TV; Jahyun had gone to get some Chinese food and you were getting everything ready for your work week. You were in the middle of hanging some skirts when your phone went off. You saw that it was Mina and instantly went to pick it up, happy to hear from your best friend.

“Mina! How are you?” You answered excitedly, making her chuckle.

“Dang girl, you’re that happy to hear from me?” She said, amused at your tone. 

“I’m always happy to hear from you silly.” You said as you walked to the laundry room, placing the last clean load into the dryer. 

“You’re so cute! Well I am calling you because  I have some news…” Mina trailed off, making you curious and slightly nervous. 

“Are you okay?” You asked instantly, worried that there was something wrong. 

“Yes, I’m fine. Better than fine actually, I’m great. I wanted to call and tell you the news… I’m pregnant!” She said excitedly, a surprised gasp leaving your mouth. 

“Oh my god? Really? How far along are you?” You asked, feeling the tears well up in your eyes. You were going to be an aunt!

“I am 4 weeks along. We wanted to wait until the first trimester was over before we told the news to anyone. But now that the doctor gave us the all clear and everything looks good, we decided to break out the good news!” Mina sounded so excited as she explained the situation.

You were so immersed in your conversation you didn’t even notice Jaehyun walk in to the apartment. He heard your excited chatter and figured you were on the phone with Mina. You only ever got that animated talking to her. He placed the bags of food on the counter and sat on the stool, patiently waiting for your call to end.

“I am so beyond happy for you and Suho. As if you guys couldn’t be the most perfect couple, now you’re going to be the most perfect parents. Please send me as many updates! Link my calendar with yours so I know when you have your doctors appointments.” You said sternly, making Mina laugh.

“Oh my god and I thought Suho was bad, you’re worse! But of course I am going to keep you updated on everything. You’ll get sick of me.” She giggled playfully, making you roll your eyes at her antics.

“I could never get sick of you. I wish I could be there with you.” You whispered the last part, not trusting your voice at that moment. Tears threatened to escape but you willed them back, not wanting to make her worry.

But of course, Mina wasn’t your best friend just in title, she knows you better than you know yourself.

“Don’t cry bitch, you’re going to make me cry.” She chastised, voice sounding wobbly as well.

Before you could say anything else, you heard a distant and muffled ‘hey!’, before Mina could continue.

“Right! Sorry babe! Suho wants me to stop cursing. He says that the baby can hear and he wants me to not say bad words around the baby once it’s born. It’s so hard though!” She whined, making you laugh.

“He’s got a point.” You agreed, making her whine at you because you are her best friend and you should be on her side, not her husbands. 

“Alright babe, I have to get going. I just wanted to call you to let you know of the newest member of the Kim family. I have to call my mom and my sister before it gets too late.” She rambled, speaking faster than normal. Those pregnancy hormones are no joke. 

“You haven’t told your sister or your mom?” You asked in disbelief.

“Of course not. I called you first.” She said in a nonchalant voice.

“Aww you do love me!” You teased, knowing how much Mina hates when you do that.

“Okay, I’m hanging up now. Love you.” She says, blowing a kiss into the receiver.

“Love you too.” You reply, hanging up the call. 

“Everything okay?” You jumped when you heard Jaehyun’s voice behind you. 

“You startled me!” You said in a breathless laugh, your hand on your chest as if to stop the erratic beating of your heart.

“Sorry babe, you were really into your conversation and I didn’t want to interrupt.” He said as he made his way towards you, snaking his arms around your waist to bring you close to him and press a soft kiss on your forehead. 

“It’s okay.” You said, standing on your toes to give him a small peck on the lips.

“So what was your call about?” He inquired as you both made your way to the kitchen, where the forgotten food was.

“Mina called me to tell me she is pregnant.” You said with a smile, taking your food boxes out of the bag.

“That’s amazing! But how come you look a little down?” He asked, noticing that you didn’t seem as excited as you were earlier when you were talking to Mina. 

“Well, it’s just that I always thought I’d be there with Mina during her pregnancy. To go with her to her doctor’s appointments, to help her set up the nursery, go shopping for baby clothes… and I’m going to miss out on a lot of that.” You explained, sniffling away the tears that threatened to come out again.

Jaehyun came over to your side and wrapped his arms around you in a comforting hug, rubbing slow circles on your back.

“I understand that you are upset. But the project will be over before she’s due. You’ll be able to see her then.” He said with a soft smile, hoping his words will cheer you up.

“You’re right babe.” You replied, feeling a little better about the whole situation. 

Later that night as you lay in bed, you were feeling anxious again. This time it wasn’t about Mina’s pregnancy, but about the end of this year long project. Once it was over, you were going to go back to Seoul. You couldn’t move to the states and you didn’t even know what was going to happen to Jaehyun once the project was over. Your guess is that he is staying in New York because he was already stationed here before the project started. You did not want to think about what would happen to your relationship, but it was hard to ignore the reality of it all. Jaehyun truly was the best guy you have ever been with and you did not want that to end. You didn’t even know what Jaehyun was going to want to do; maybe long distance is not something he is into. You tossed and turned that night with a heavy feeling in your chest and a cold empty spot next to you in bed.

“Damn noona, you okay?” Mark asked as you walked into your office, he handed you a coffee cup and you sat down and powered on your computer.

“I feel like hell.” You said, sipping your coffee and closing your eyes contentedly.

“No offense noona but you look like hell too.” He giggled at your glare and sat down on the chair in front of you.

“Thanks. Glad to know the ten minutes I spent this morning trying to look decent was a complete waste of time.” You said sarcastically.

“I’m just messing with you. By the way, the meeting is in fifteen minutes.” He reminded you, making you groan out in misery. You did not feel like going to this meeting. You just wanted to be holed up in your office and not interact with anyone. Well, maybe just interact with one person. 

“Okay, I’ll be there shortly. Do you have the revised briefing packets?” You asked, mentally preparing yourself for your day.

“Yes! I made all the copies and they’re ready to go.” He informs, standing up to leave your office.

“Thanks, I’ll see you in ten.” You said, waving goodbye and focusing on your computer screen.

You brought up your calendar and email, ready to see your work load for the day. A knock caught your attention and you growled lowly before telling the person to enter.

“Hey babe, just wanted to say hello this morning.” Jaehyun said as he walked in your office.

“Oh, hi honey. I didn’t know it was you.” You said as you got up from your desk and made your way to him.

“Are you okay? You look a bit tired.” He said with concern, eyes scanning your face.

You frowned at him, giving him your best pouty face. “I couldn’t sleep last night.” You informed, draping your arms around his shoulders.

“Aww you couldn’t sleep without me there?” He teased, giving your nose a peck. You didn’t say anything, you just lay your head on his shoulder and hug him silently. This made Jaehyun a little worried since you weren’t normally like this.

“Hey, are you sure you’re okay? Wanna talk about it?” He whispered, hugging you tighter to him.

You hummed against his shoulder and turned your face to place a small kiss on his neck. He tilted his head towards you to give you a peck on your cheek, but you moved your head at that time and connected your lips with his. He kissed you slowly and sweetly but you deepen the kiss, pulling him closer to you. Jaehyun is a bit surprised, since you usually try to not get too physical at work. However he doesn’t pull away or try to slow you down. He wraps his arms around your waist and brings you closer to him, the kiss  getting deeper.

“Ahem, sorry to interrupt but the meeting is starting in five…” Johnny said from tour doorway, you and Jaehyun jumping away from each other the second Johnny cleared his throat. 

“Thank you Jon.” Jaehyun said, clearing his throat a couple times.

“Welcome. Oh! And just a tip, close the door next time.” He rolled his eyes and he walked towards the conference room. 

“Okay, well after that humiliating bit, we should get going to the conference room.” He said, gently wiping your lips with his thumb. 

“At least it was him and not one of the receptionists.” You said with a shudder, making Jaehyun laugh as he grabbed your hand and dragged you over to the conference room.

Everyone got settled into their assigned seats, waiting for the head project manager to arrive. Mark has already placed a copy of the briefing packet in front of every seat and was happily seated in the back row, ready to take as many notes as needed. 

The room quieted down when Park Jeongsu, the project manager, entered the room and took his spot at the head of the room. He is a man in his late thirties and is incredibly handsome and youthful for a man his age. He is well respected by his coworkers and he does an exceptional job as a project manager. Everyone is happy working under his wing and he is part of the reason why the project is ahead of schedule. 

“Good morning everyone, thank you for being here this morning, ready to tackle today’s meeting.” He started, smiling at everyone in attendance. “I see that the marketing team has handed out their packets, so let’s start with that.” He sat down and let you take over with your proposal. 

You went over the details of all the promotions the marketing team is doing to spread awareness of the new popup shop and the website. You went into detail about all the influential people your team was going to invite to make an appearance at the opening gala, as well as naming all the benefactors that will be invited as well. You sat down after your short presentation, everyone in the room murmuring in approval and excitement.

“Thank you very much, excellent job as always.” Mr. Park said, getting back up from his seat. “Now for the opening gala, there are a few details left. Miss Lee, would you please update us on the status of those details.” He said, giving Wendy the floor to speak.

“Thank you. We were finally able to find a new vendor that can provide the linens needed for the gala. They are willing to special make the linens in the colors that we need for the event, so the orders are already in for that and they should be getting delivered here within the next two weeks. The final detail we need to complete the project is choosing our musical guest appearance. We want to best represent Korea with some of its best artists and producers. We have gotten in contact with some of the artists and we are waiting for a reply from their managers or agencies.” Wendy reported expertly. She’s not the head of event planning for nothing. 

“That’s wonderful news. Is it possible to know who you have in mind?” Mr. Park asked

“Yes of course. We want to have a diversity of groups and decided it would be good to have a male group, a girl group and some solo artists. For the male group we decided to reach out to GOT7, for the girl group we decided to reach out to AOA. The solo artists we have contacted are Eric Nam and Hwasa. We also thought it would be a good idea and a great promotional opportunity if we also work with up-and-coming artists. There’s actually a brilliant rookie composer who has been working with rookie artists and every song he has produced has been a complete hit. I believe it would be a great opportunity for us if we reach out to him in order to mutually benefit from each other.” Wendy explained, an excited buzz going around the room at the possibility of having these amazing musical appearances.

“Very impressive and excellent choice of artists. What is the name of this rookie producer?” Mr. Park asked, intrigued at the fact that a new producer is already making a splash in the music industry.

“He goes by the name of Loey. I can email everyone some of the songs he has produced so we can all get acquainted with his style. He is very unique in the sense that he only likes to work with rookie artists.” Wendy explained, fast fingers already sending out the mass email with Loey’s playlist.

“Perfect. Well, I am thoroughly impressed by everyone’s hard work and contribution to this project. That is all for today's meeting, thank you all for your time and have a great day.” Mr. Park concluded, bowing slightly before exiting the room. Everyone got up and left to their respective positions. 

“How cool is it going to be to have those musical appearances?” Mark asked excitedly, practically vibrating as he walked next to you in the direction of your office.

“If we actually get them, it will be amazing.” You smiled, actually excited for the musical guests as well.

You entered your office and opened up your email so you could check out Loey’s playlist that Wendy sent out. The email had a link to a youtube playlist and you played it on the background as you read the rest of your emails.

“Wow, is that Loey?” Mark asked as he entered your office, coffee and notes in hand.

“Well it's the songs he produced, he’s not the one singing them.” You replied, gracefully taking the coffee and notes from Mark.

“He is good!” Mark said, really enjoying the song being played. “Good lyrics and musical progression.” 

“Mark, I'm impressed you know so much about music.” You teased.

“It’s the second thing I love the most. The first being working with you, of course.” He replied cheekily, laughing at your eye roll.

“Okay, go work Mark, since you love it so much.” You said, dismissing him with a wave of your hand.

“Anything for you noona.” He winked and left your office, closing the door behind him.

You liked the songs you heard so far from the playlist and hoped that this producer would agree to work with you guys. You closed the browser for youtube and went back to your email, getting ready to do some work.

You were barely a few sentences into replying to your first email when your office phone rang. You saw that it was Wendy and answered immediately, confused as to why she would be emailing you.

“Hey Wendy, what’s up?”

“Hey! So I have some news.” She started, excitement in her voice.

“Oh yeah? What is it?” You asked, your curiosity peaked.

“So I actually just got a call back from Loey’s team and they said he is willing to work with us!” She exclaimed excitedly, hurting your ear with the volume of her excitement.

“That’s great!” You said, truly happy for her but still confused as to what this had to do with you. “Have you told Mr. Park yet?” 

“Yes, of course. I also needed to tell you though because Loey’s manager said that he is actually going to be in New York next weekend working on a project here. They said it would be a great opportunity to meet with reps of the company. And they said that Loey was very insistent on meeting the marketing director as well.” She explained, although you thought it was a bit odd.

“Why though? That seems a bit odd.” You said.

“I agree but they said he wants to be involved in how he and his artists will be promoted in the event.” She explained simply.

“Okay, well that makes sense I guess. Just email me when we are meeting him so I can make sure I clear my day.” You said, mentally going over your scheduled appointments for next week.

“Sounds great! Thanks!” Wendy said and you both hung up. 

“Well okay then.” You muttered to yourself. Ignoring the weird feeling in your gut and diving back into your work.

Previous                                                                     Next

Guns and Roses: End

Steve can’t believe it’s almost been two weeks since your shop had been destroyed. He’s irritated that it took so long for your shop to be finished but he still hasn’t told you he took care of everything and it’s been a challenge to keep you in the dark about it. Thankfully Clint, Natasha, May, Peter and Bucky who seems to be somewhat smitten with May, have been able to keep you out of the shop and convince you to just worry about saving some money. Steve can not wait to show you your new space.

“Hey Doll?” He calls from the top of the stairs, Clint just gave him the green light to come and show you the space. He’d also assured him that no one would be there so you could have privacy when you see it.

“Yeah?” You call back as Steve starts down the stairs.

“Wanna go out for dinner? I’ve got a surprise for you.” He asks, the cement floor cold on his bare feet as he makes his way toward you. You’re wearing one of his sweatshirts and god he likes you in his clothes.

“Uh, I’m looking a bit rough to be going out.” You tell him gesturing at the messy bun on the back of your head, and the clothes you’re wearing.

“I was thinking about somewhere real private. More of a picnic than a restaurant.”

“You know,” you muse as you continue to work on the bouquet on the table in front of you, “knowing you’re a mob boss and you saying you’re going to take me somewhere private to take me out really doesn’t sound like a good thing.” Steve laughs softly as he rounds the table and moves behind you. He wraps his arms around your waist and presses a soft kiss to the swoop of your neck and shoulder You sigh happily and rest your head back on his shoulder.

“You gonna let me take you to your surprise dinner or not?” He murmurs against your skin.

“That entirely depends on what kind of food you’re going to serve.”

“I was thinking to start spinach artichoke dip on toasted baguettes.” He presses a kiss to your jaw, “A side of pasta salad, Italian dressing with salami and fresh mozzarella.” He coos pressing another kiss under your ear. “Pulled barbecue chicken sandwiches, with Swiss cheese.” He kisses your neck, “and some strawberry brownie skewers for dessert.”

“Fuck,” you breathe, “that’s a picnic?”

“Only the best for you Doll.” Steve can’t help the smile that pulls at his lips, you turn into him and press a soft kiss to his jaw. Steve smooths your hair, tucking some of those wild bits back behind your ears. “Can I coax you away from your flowers for that?”

“I mean, I guess so.” You say dramatically, Steve can’t help but chuckle.

“You’re such a brat you know that don’t you?”

“You love it Rogers.” You tease and he wants to be annoyed but you’re right. He loves that you’ve got fire that runs through your veins. “Do I still have time to shower and change?”

“If you want, but I think you look just fine.”

“Just fine huh? I’m gonna have to up my game I guess.” And this time it’s Steve’s turn to groan dramatically. You laugh softly and Steve grins down at you, pressing a soft kiss to your nose.

“Come on you.” He says wrapping a hand around yours and pulling you up the stairs behind him. Steve grabs the basket from the counter and you let out a surprised laugh.

“Someone was confident I’d say yes.”

“Better safe than sorry.” He says with a grin over his shoulder and you roll your eyes fondly at him.

You follow Steve to his car and as he makes his way back to your shop the hold you have on his right hand gets tighter.

“Steve I’m not ready to deal with this tonight.” You tell him anxiously.

“We’re just here to water your plants Doll. Then we’ll go.”

“Okay,” You say hesitantly as Steve unlocks your front door. He reaches over and clicks the lights on and is rewarded with a gasp from you. He’s gotta admit, Clint did a fantastic job. Your hardwood floors have been restored, you’ve got top of the line fridges to store your flowers. Three of the five are full of flowers already, in the center of the room is a new register and front desk. It’s perfectly decorated, cream colored trim with light blue walls, a quote about flowers on one of the back walls.

“Steve,” Your voice cracks and when Steve looks back at you he’s surprised to see the tears running down your face.

“Oh Doll, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you cry.” He suddenly panics do you not like it? But his fears are immediately quelled.

“This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.” You tell him as you take in your surroundings with wide eyes. “Thank you. How can I ever repay you?”

“You don’t need to repay me Doll, this was a gift. Besides it wouldn’t have been destroyed if it wasn’t for me.” You wrap your arms around his waist and Steve hums softly.

“You are such a good, sweet, soft, wonderful man Steve Rogers.” You whisper and a lump rises in Steve’s throat, you’re too good to him. He swallows thickly before murmuring,

“Don’t tell anyone you’d ruin my rep.”

“We wouldn’t want to do that would we?” You tease back and he laughs softly. “Thank you Steve, I don’t know what else to say.”

“Remember how I said I still wanted to be able to spoil you? This is what I meant. You don’t need to say anything else Doll. I’m just glad it made you happy.”

“You make me happy.” You tell him with a squeeze of his waist, Steve eases your face up toward his and kisses you softly.

“You hungry Doll?” He asks pulling away from you. You hum up at him and give a little nod so Steve places the picnic basket on the counter and pulls the food out before placing it on the counter too. “You have a blanket we can lay out?”

“Yea, you haven’t remodeled my home too have you?”

“Nah Doll, I think you’re place is pretty perfect for you already.”

“Mmm me too. Your place needs more greenery.”

“Whatever you want.” Steve smiles at you as you make your way upstairs. When you get back with the blanket Steve has everything out and ready to go. He helps you lay out the blanket then places everything down on the floor.

You’re halfway through dinner and Steve is telling you a story about him and Bucky as kids when he glances over at you and sees that you’re looking around the space in awe. Steve trails off as he watches you take in your new surroundings. You suddenly realize that he’s not talking anymore and he sees you start before looking over at him with wide eyes.

“Oh Steve, I’m so sorry I got distracted.”

“Please don’t be sorry. You really like your new space huh?”

“It’s absolutely perfect Steve. Honestly it’s like everyone was in my brain and pulled out my dream shop.”

“Clint and Nat love you and they know you well.”

“I’m very grateful to have them in my life. Honestly, knowing that I have them and don’t have to hide anything about this from them is a huge relief.”

“I’m glad Doll.” Steve says softly.

“Can we spend the night here tonight?”

“Yea, do you want me to stay?”

“Yes. I always sleep better with you.” You admit and a little pink colors your cheeks, “I feel, safer, when you’re there.”

“I’m so glad Doll.” Steve breathes and you give him a shy smile. “I-I know we’ve only known one another for a little while but I’m fallin’ in love with you Doll.”

“Thank god,” you whisper, “I’m for sure falling in love with you too.” You admit before burying yourself into his side.

Three years later

“Doll? We gotta get going!” Steve calls from the bottom stairs of your shop. You don’t stay there often anymore, only on those late nights when neither of you can be bothered to make the drive back home.

“Keep your shirt on Rogers I’m hurrying!” You call back, you’re a little testy at the moment because of the large delivery on its way to the capitol building where T’Challa is preparing to swear in as Governor. You come storming down the stairs, you’ve got on this white dress, lace covers the arms and comes down onto your chest with see through over your shoulders and to your waist. There’s gold mixed in with the lace on your arms and chest the moves down to your hips before stopping at the mid-thigh of the right side. The left side of the skirt is slit open to mid-thigh, with a gold belt at your waist and gold shoes on your feet.

Goddamn do you look good in white.

“Shit Doll.” Steve breathes and you smirk up at him as you saunter over.

“Worth the wait?” You purr resting your hands on his chest.

“Absolutely.” He presses a kiss to the back of your hand just above the ring he’d put on your finger. “If this is any hint at that wedding dress you won’t let me see I’m done for.”

“You can’t see the dress before the wedding! It’s bad luck.” You admonish, “now I thought we were going to be late?”

“Fuck em, we can be late.” He says wrapping an arm around you and capturing your lips in a kiss.

Tag list:

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e.m.t. - intro

I’m abigail but I go by either abby or gail and i go by she her pronouns. I live in edt timezone and I’m a seventeen year old junior in high school. I’m a pretty busy student seeing as i take mainly ap classes and am involved with several extracurriculars so i may not be EXTREMELY active, but im going to try my best to get to know you all and interact with everyone!! <3

&&introducing your character

[ marlon langeland. seventeen. he/him. ] EDWARD TONKS  has stepped through the barrier to platform 9 ¾. the SEVENTH  year HUFFLEPUFF  student is most looking forward to FEELING AT HOME AGAIN.. their peers describe HIM as ELEEMOSYNARY & FACETIOUS, and has dubbed HIM as the SOILED DOVE. TED  feels FORLORN  about the war raging outside of hogwarts plans to JOIN THE ORDER when the year is up.

&&aesthetic loud and echoing laughs, summer rains, late nights sitting in the dewy grass, watching fireworks light up the stars, goofing around and wrestling for fun, catching fireflies in mason jars, hair frizzing in the humid air, faces lit by lampposts and the moonlight, poofy and patterned duvets, spending all day wrapped up in the sheets, the smell of freshly cleaned clothes, sad songs played on low, tattered jeans caked with mud, sneakers with the soles falling out

&&bio

Ted Tonks, born with the full given and strictly biblical name Edward Michael Tonks, was born to a family who had three very cut and clean rules. For most of his life, at least the first eleven of them, he followed these rules without a hiccup. The first one was fairly simple; never bad mouth mom and dad, seeing as they feed and provide for you after all. The second was that everyone ate together as a family every other night, and that meant the whole family, including great-grandma and grandpa. The last was the trickiest being that it seemed to be about 100 rules in one. It, however, was the one that was the most unforgivable if broken, that being that it demanded that everyone in the family was to follow, without question, every word the bible said.

Though Ted’s family was fairly huge when you factored in cousins and such, it was mostly easy for him to follow these rules. Being the only child, he absolutely adored his parents and they somewhat adored him back. As a child he was always on his father's heels, begging to go to work with him in the summers and waiting by the front door for him to get home on school nights. The second rule, as well, was easy because he never questioned spending moments with his family and enjoying the good food that was always passed around. It was the third, however that stopped Ted in his tracks.

The way his mother was, it seemed like everything he did broke some rule. She’d snip at him for running in from the garden and dragging mud into the house, claiming that he’d broken some holy rule when really all he’d done was get a bit of dirt on the floor which was mind you, fairly easy to get up. He bit his lip and dealt with it, however.

When he turned eleven however, and it came time to go back to school, everything in his family dynamic shifted. He remembers distinctly the day when he got home from a friends house to his mother who looked like she’d never been more angry in her life. Without a word he fled to his room, not daring to pester her about what was for dinner or when his father was going to be home. Dinner time passed, and as he heard the typically clanking of forks and spoons he also heard bitter voices, speaking in hisses and whispers. Not sure what he’d done, he sat at his door, feeling guilty at every sound he heard as he picked at the dirt that was still smushed into his hands.

Eventually his mother explained to him that he had done something wicked, though refusing to explain, she allowed him to come down and eat his food which had already grown cold. The whole time he ate, he felt his father’s eyes from the living room watching every move he made and the way his mother stationed herself at the kitchen sink made her look like a hawk circling its prey. He finished and was led straight back up to his room, where his mother shoved a letter into his hand and left him to his own devices to figure it out.

During the week that led up to the date that had been so bitterly circled on the paper, Ted had been kept under the hawk eye of both his parents. They hushed him at dinner when he attempted to get answers about what the school was like and his father look down right offended when he asked when they were going to go get his supplies. On the day of departure, Ted was more than ready to leave and finally get answers on to why everything was so hush hush. He known he’d seen something about wizardry around the logo of the school’s letter, but he thought it was merely a joke or some sort of metaphor. Surely he wasn’t being sent to do magic, his mother always told him that it was evil and not real anyways.

Sure enough, only after a few minutes aboard the Hogwarts express did he really understand why his parents had been so quick to mute him and hide him away. Feeling awful, his first few months at school were awful. The kids laughed at him for not having the right supplies and wearing homemade robes that his mother had very obviously made with no care in the world.  Even after he finally was provided with the right things and fully grasped what Hogwarts was, not many seemed to even bat an eye in his direction. He learned, however, to make the laughing into background music and grew accustomed to the fact that both of the two worlds he belonged to would never fully see him as a member of their society.

&&some place magical

Ted has always adored the magical and home-y feel that hogwarts has given off. Though both parts of his life have it’s downsides, he finds hogwarts more of a home to him than his official “home” He adores the way the whole castle is detailed unlike his old shed-like house he grew up in. He was raised well off enough, but seeing as his family had a shared farming business, his parents never found it sensible to upgrade from their first home they’d ever gotten together. The house was fine, just bland. The walls were bare, the house was small, and felt more temporary than anything. It just felt like a home until they got a new one, like a halfway unpacked house.

The detail of the castle, the nooks and hidden halls and ornate paintings, all of it, captured his fascination. He never gets tired of roaming the halls, finding new places to stop for a quick moment of silence or a spot to do homework when his roomates get to loud.

&&anything else

Ted himself can be a bit opposite of his parents fuddy-duddy ways, and while this is a good thing, his childish like humor and attitude can get him into a bit of trouble at times. Its been with him since he was young. His mother was always on him for trekking mud through the house or spending too much in the yard and not inside studying. Now that he’s a bit more mature he knows better, yet his childish ways still sometimes get ahead of his conscious mind at times.

&&ted vs. tech

Ted is actually really well versed with technology and it’s ins and outs. Probably seeing as he grew up in the muggle world, he was used to always being surrounded to these devices and working with them from a young age. That and the only real way he connects with his father anymore is through their love for technology. His father, though his professional occupation is a lot more boring and repetitive, really enjoys messing with technology and figuring out how everything works. While Ted isnt THAT interested in the mechanics of it, he pretends to like it anyways. He’s more interested in the social media side of things.

That being said, Ted is a snapchat GOD and don’t you dare break your streak with him. He’s that bitch that sends streaks every HOUR to make sure none of them are broken and will give his password away to someone if he gets in trouble and has his phone taken.

He’s that person to put his phone on airplane mode as well while he reads dms. Rather be safe than sorry bc that way he can avoid whoever he wants :))))))

His twitter is also nothing but retweets from the account @garyfromteenmom

Want to see Ted go buck wild bananas? Literally play 1 second of goofy goober rock and he will be up and dancing faster than you can turn it off

Sleepover with Jisung

Request: Can u do nct dream jisung when his s/o is younger than him? (By 2 years if ur comfortable with writing 2 years but if not then just 1 year) thx! I love ur blog!

Request: 1. I love your blog ❤ 2. Could you do a fluff story w/ my Lil’ baby Jisung? A sleepover story with him would be just adorable!!

aye i’ll write it in this form because it’s much easier!!

im sorry for the short hiatus for the past few days!

school and my emotional state is just-

but!! this request is so cute aw

i decided to combine the two together so i hope you don’t mind, you’ll be one year younger than jisung hehe

let’s start

okay so y'all have been dating for 4 months now

and are still shy little beans!!

jisung lowkey faints everytime you smile because you’re just too adorable for him

and he talks about you a lot to the other members

taeyong and doyoung supports y'all fully

“my children”

“jisung ah, take care of her well”

“both of you are so young but so cute”

but haechan’s just there like

“er gross i think i’m cuter than both of you”

but you know he’s only kidding anyways so you just ignore him

jisung takes care of you like you’re a precious gem

“how cute!!”

“aw my girl”

“woah why are you so cute”

“jisung im only one year younger you’re treating me like a child”

“because i love you”

/wild taeyong pops out/ “I LOVE BOTH OF YOU”

so one day jisung suggests y'all have a mini sleepover

because the other members would be out

and you haven’t seen each other in weeks so you miss him badly

and he just wants to cuddle up with you and snuggle his face in your hair

“the hyungs will be out tonight!! want to come over?”

“maybe catch some movies and..  cuddle? hehe”

“aw sure thing babe i’ll be on the way”

and you hear him squealing a little because he’s that happy

you arrive right before the other members leave

and they’re all so protective like

“you two better not do anything else, remember you’re still young” -taeyong

“for once i agree with him but- y/n i trust you” -doyoung

“im sure they’ll only end up sleeping on each other’s chests, they’re still young” -mark

“wait mark you aren’t supposed to know that-” -taeyong

“shut up hyung he’s already old enough” -doyoung

“no-” -taeyong

so you end up convincing them that it’s only going to be a movie sleepover before dotae starts bickering

and taeyong hugs you and pats your head like an actual mom

with jisung looking lost at the side

so the members leave

jisung brings out the blankets he has prepared and lies them down on the floor

and he throws in all the pillows

with the stuff toys he keeps by his bedside

especially the baby chick one you got for him

oh and i forgot to mention he was already in his pyjamas

and he had gotten one specially for you

so you go and change

and when you come out jisung’s already lying on the sheets

with bags of chips and food beside him

and he’s smiling so innocently, patting the space beside him so you can sit

“you look cute!!!”

and you see his cheeks turn bright red

and you blush a little too

so cute my two children-

but he opens his arms widely and asks for a hug

he doesn’t do it often but you when he does, it means he really misses you

so you dive into his arms

and you give him the warmest and tighest hug ever

and he scrunches up his nose the way he always would when he’s happy

“i missed you so much”

so he chooses your favourite movie

and offers you your favourite bag of chips

and you get so excited because you love food™

and you see jisung smiling to himself, because he thinks you’re just pure adorable

so he reaches out his hand to pinch your cheek

halfway through the movie, both of you are already lying on the pillows

you’re lying beside him with your arm around his waist

and he has his around your shoulders

you’d notice how he’d frown and give differente expressions while watching the movie

which is so cute to you so you lean in to give him a peck on the cheek

he dies a little on the inside and literally jumps up from the shock

“ahh…. what are you doing”

“you looked cute hehe”

/blushes like mad/

after a while you see his eyelids dropping on him

and him trying his best to stay awake by enlarging his eyes

so you attack him with tickles and he screams

and attacks you back

so y'all end up hugging each other while laughing into each other’s chest

the cutest oh my

he can’t stop smiling to himself because he loves you so much

and the fact that you actually took time to spend the night with him makes his heart race

and he’s always thankful for you

after an hour or so the both of you are already tired out by all the giggling

your legs are entangled together- his over yours

and his arms are on your waist

as you snuggle up closer to his body

with the television screen still on

the both of you fall asleep, too tired to even care

“look at how cute they look together, im so happy for them” -taeyong

Feb 6 Lost Light Stream - Transformers Prime 57-59

Prowl was vaguely bothered by Insecticons. He’s getting better. He didn’t have to leave the room this time.

After the stream he was stuck there for a while because good music kept coming on. Rodimus’s playlist is too short, though. (Prowl’s now sent him some additions.)

Crosscut: ((Oh, ACDC wow XD This makes me think of my high school years.)) CptRodimus: *just streatched out over a couch never the back today finishing sharpening Pip.* CptRodimus: ((rodimus loves them =) CptRodimus: ((near the back* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave is as prepared for tonight’s impending double whammy as he can be. He strides in and parks himself on his couch, one leg over the and arms crossed atop them.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *The minis charge in and scatter around after.* Windchill: *Walks in.* ItsyBitsySpyers: \WEAPON!\ And Frenzy’s scuttling over to see Pip. Crosscut: ((Them and Guns n’ Roses was the only CD I had back then I used to listen to them while skateboarding so that’s instantly what I relate them to.)) Airachnid: [peeks helm through the door before walking in] Windchill: *Makes as if to wave, but fans his face instead.* Windchill: Oh my god, what’s that smell? CptRodimus: Sup mechs? Windchill: *Stares pointedly at Rodimus.* Windchill: Oh. Windchill: *Can’t smell anything and needs to shut up + sit down.* CptRodimus: *looks curious up at Windcill* You dont like the scent of victory? Oh must be the Con in you.~ Txen: *the predacons make a much less dramatic and more timely entrance than last week, once again followed by Shockwave* Crosscut: -pops in, looking around the room- I can only be here a short time sadly, I just wanted to say hellow to everyone. Windchill: Is THAT what that is? Windchill: *Doesn’t look convinced.* CptRodimus: Hey Crosscut! *waves then returns to his sharpening the blade* Txen: *DS and Lynx beeline for the food, predictably, though DS stops long enough to chirp “Cool sword” in Roddy’s direction* Crosscut: Evening, Captain. ItsyBitsySpyers: //Yo, Crosscut.// Rumble waves too. boomtank: -is on time for once!- ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave nods at Blaster.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *And at Shockwave and his companions* Crosscut: -He looks a bit confused by the mincon’s addressing him but wanting to be polite he waves back- Ah, hello…Rumble, wasn’t it? Bruin: *clomp clomp here comes bruin & co. Everyone came tonight because DRAgons* boomtank: -waves back- Hello Windchill: *He’s going to sit down and take up an entire couch, as usual. Crosscut: Sorry if that’s wrong, I’m not great with names sometimes. CptRodimus: *looks up at the chrip in his direction and grins widely* Epiphany -is- pretty cool isnt he? Too bad he is recharging or I’d introduce you!“ Txen: *Predaking recognizes Soundwave as That Helpful/Polite One and nods.* CptRodimus: It’s pipe’s song and he isn;t here. MAN! boomtank: -settles somewhere out of the way again- ItsyBitsySpyers: //Yep. ’S cool, ain’t talked much. But hey, uh–// Now that he thinks about it, he trots over and sticks his hand out. //Thanks. Y'know. For lettin’ me do the thing.// Txen: DS: *surprised enough to stop with a snack halfway to his mouth* …"He”? …Is this wunna your… bipedal-bot things… *you all turn into WEIRD stuff sometimes* Bruin: *uh oh high pitched song, the wolves are going to try and “sing” along* Crosscut: -He nods and shakes the small bot’s hand- Of course, you did a fine job as well if I might add. Bruin: *it is more words than howling thankfully* Txen: *speaking of dragons, Skylynx is going to curl around the back of one of the couches in beast-mode. he’s not anywhere near predakings’ size, it’ll be fine* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Startled look and then a huge beam* //Heh. Thanks, mech.// *HIS DAY IS MADE* Crosscut: Damn..-checks the time and sighs- I’m afraid I have to go already. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Nod.* ItsyBitsySpyers: //Take it easy, huh?// Windchill: *Howls too!* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Ravage looks at all the howlers with disdain* Crosscut: Sorry everyone, I was hoping to watch at least a little with you, perhaps next time….And Rumble, I look forward to seeing you at our next try outs whenever we do a new play! Windchill: *You don’t want him to meow, Ravage.* FakeProwl: *appears* Txen: *is with ravage on that one* Bruin: *can't rain on their parade ravage* CptRodimus: *onto the final step of the shining now* Yeah, he has a bi-pedal but sword is hos forged shape-- he can also turn into a gun! Txen: ((skylynx rather, gdi)) ItsyBitsySpyers: *A greeting nod to Prowl* Crosscut: -Waves to everyone, even the only now arriving Prowl, on his way out- Goodbye. FakeProwl: *reflexively covers his audials before he realizes he can turn down his avatar's audio input* CptRodimus: Awe see ya Crosscut FakeProwl: Hel— er, goodbye. CptRodimus: *damn he wanted to see the easily flustered song to his song* Bruin: *well, time to go sit in the usual spot on the far wall* Windchill: *Howls off-key, even. He doesn't care what song is playing.* CptRodimus: *Just going to causually sing the lryics* Txen: DS: *not -entirely- sure whether he's being fragged with rn. sniffs at the sword skeptically* Uh... hi there? CptRodimus: *shine shine* FakeProwl: *sits by Soundwave* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave tilts his helm at this song* CptRodimus: *seeing the interest Rodimus shifts back to clearlyshow Epip's hilt there is a pretty clearly visuable spark there under armour* Txen: DS: *startles a little bit. does this mean the sword's naked??* Airachnid: [is just going to sit in the back] Sorida changed their nickname to Bee. ItsyBitsySpyers: *He's gonna have to save that last one-- OH a favorite. The tiniest helm bobs.* Bee: [time to sneak in] Airachnid: [?? which Bee is this] CptRodimus: *chuckles* A tad lewd right? He tells me it was all the rage 'back in the day" Bee: (( radioactivibee X3 )) boomtank: -Don't mind Blaster bobbing his helm to the song, as he pokes at his reports- Airachnid: [is just gonna :3c in Bee's direction] Whirl: *trots in* Now, Captain. Captain. I'm not sure when the last time was that you took a good, long look at my magnificent frame, but I've got some news for you. Whirl: I don't have FUR. Windchill: *Looks to verify Whirl's WILD claims.* Txen: DS: *slowly bites and chews snack while he thinks* ...So... you're polishin' an old exhibitionist? *guffaws a little. bipeds are wild* Bruin: *snorting noises from the mech pile in the corner* Whirl: *you'd better not be hogging that couch Windchill* Windchill: *HE TOTES IS MY DUDE.* Bee: [and he's gonna O.o; right back at Airachnid] Windchill: *Guess you'll just have to...teach him a lesson.* Whirl: *he might. First it's time to prod and poke at the snack table* CptRodimus: *bursts out laughing* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Well then. In a mood, are we?]] Whirl: ((my internet is bein a lil fart and i am il, if I vanish my dudes I ran out of stamina to fight it)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((k)) Txen: ((weh ok. be strong, snifs internet)) Bee: ((that's so obnoxious, internet why)) Txen: *predaking definitely has no idea what this song is about* Whirl: *carefully "sniffing" the wares; so far nothing seems worth his time* Windchill, your posture is terrible. You'd better make room before I get over there. Windchill: (( It's okay snif, I still love u. )) Windchill: Make me. Windchill: *Turns just enough to waggle his brows over the back of the couch in CHALLENGE.* boomtank: -okay, going to room watch. More entertaining at this rate- Txen: DS: *remembers he needs to go sit someplace and flops on his belly in an empty floor spot at the front* CptRodimus: "I will surely tell him THAT! Next time I'll skip the sparring so he is up for a movie night." ItsyBitsySpyers: *He knows Rodimus has the hots for his native Prime, but what a series of songs.* Bruin: *Spotter zoops over to the snack table, designated snack getter of the night because no one else can be bothered* CptRodimus: ((MASK?! ItsyBitsySpyers: *Gets comfortable.* ItsyBitsySpyers: ((Yep)) Txen: *heh this is the first time i think missy didnt skip the new intro* Windchill: Cool guys don't look at explosions. *whispers.* Txen: ((AH TWO SECONDS OF MY SON)) Bee: ((ngl i'm trash for the intro remix.....)) CptRodimus: ((on purpose =) boomtank: ...I forgot Optimus got big. Uh...bigger Bee: I forgot Raf's voice dropped that much. CptRodimus: Im ready to receive magnus~ Windchill: *Snorts.* Airachnid: Humans are so fragile. Whirl: *none of this stuff looks like it has any taste, but he's going to grab some engex anyway* Oh lord. This is Magnus all right. ItsyBitsySpyers: //What, ya think I learned to be me offa yours?// CptRodimus: This magnus needs some Rodimus--- Primus damned Bee: ........... CptRodimus: *winks at Bee* Bee: why CptRodimus: *snickers* I work wonders. Whirl: *trots over to the Whirl Couch and stands in front of Windchill* Now, you're lucky that I'm not feeling well tonight, or this would hurt a lot more. FakeProwl: *~Magnus~* FakeProwl: *look at how sensible he is* Airachnid: Prime still looks like a bloated shuttle. Bee: He does not! Whirl: *leanes back, raises one foot up and grasshopper-kicks Windchill right in the dang crotch* Up. Windchill: *SPUTTERS IN PAIN, if not surprise.* Txen: ((lol *** u smokey)) Whirl: *balances one on leg, sipping his Engex calmly* Windchill: Just sit on me, dude. Bee: ...Ratchet. Windchill: *It gon' take more than THAT to move him tonight.* ItsyBitsySpyers: ((whoa what it just skipped like a whole bunch)) FakeProwl: *ugh ugh ugh insecticons* Whirl: You want another? Make room. CptRodimus: *stands up looking his work over and grins with a nod before heading over to put Pip back on this wall mount* boomtank: -huffs- Windchill: Or you could sit on me. *Arches one brow, the other one has been tamed for the time being.* FakeProwl: *leans on soundwave. hi. he wasn't expecting insecticons.* Airachnid: [hisses slightly under her breath] Whirl: *KICKS AGAIN* boomtank: -about as fond of insecticons as Prowl- Txen: ((yes...... bring the fossils to papa)) Windchill: *HOWLS TUNELESSLY.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *YES. Sorry. Mun was preparing to do the Insecticon warning thing but apparently her stream was behind. Sorry Prowl.* Txen: *shockwave is very attentive when the fossil is on screen* FakeProwl: ((no worries, we can say soundwave was distracted)) Windchill: *Sits up though, freeing up maybe 1/3 of the couch.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave will take hand and squeeze if able.* Whirl: *calmly takes a seat, drawing his legs up and curling up* Thanks. FakeProwl: *he'll allow it. ... thanks.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave looks at Shockwave to see what he looks like seeing this fossil search again* Windchill: You're welcome. Whirl: That wasn't so difficult, now was it? *regards him with a half-lidded optic; he seems equal parts amused and tired* Txen: ((god this episode is so referential)) Windchill: No, it kinda was. ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Prowl satisfied later tonight. Airachnid: I never understood this logic. ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Insecticons not present past evening's content. FakeProwl: @Soundwave «Good to know.» CptRodimus: *struts but to his-- glances at the prowl and soundwave's chair and smirks--- then countinues his trot* Bee: ..........Isn't cloning a clone...not good? Whirl: Like I said--I normally kick a LOT harder than that. *gestures to his head* Migraine. Whirl: Might have saved your crotch's life. FakeProwl: *all right. he's okay now. shall re-establish personal space bubble.* CptRodimus: *watching the CNA explaination then looks to Shockwave then back to the screen as he flops onto the counch* Windchill: Saved the life of something, maybe. Whirl: *snickers and takes a sip* FakeProwl: ((you go starscream, lampshade those scavenger hunts)) Txen: *shockwave is -so attentive. his back isnt even touching the couch.* Bruin: *more snorting noises* Shockwave never lost anything Whirl: You guys' Earth really IS somethin else. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Amused at his primary ally looking more like him for once.* CptRodimus: *nudges DS with a foot* You were a rock? Txen: *its funny how his on-screen alternate says 'CNA' with exactly the same faintly reverent enunciation he does* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[As he has always said.]] CptRodimus: ((is he in nudging range? Txen: ((sure)) Whirl: ((HA)) Airachnid: You are not smooth Prime. Bee: ................ Txen: DS: *wiggles his feet* I was a -fossil-. There's a difference! Windchill: It's  a magical place. boomtank: -giggles- CptRodimus: What is it? boomtank: Optimus, really? Whirl: I sympathize, Wheeljack. *tips his cup to the screen mournfully, and then swivels his helm around to look at Ravage* @Ravage: Hey. So. ItsyBitsySpyers: //Ain't I said we had a hammer?// ItsyBitsySpyers: @Whirl: =Hm?= Txen: DS: Uh... *oops. what does Shockwave say about science stuff again?* Bee: ((noooooo i'm gonna have to miss this fight T.T FakeProwl: *ultra magnus, carrying a hammer that possesses the power to smack complicated machinery into existence* FakeProwl: *... that's a good look on him.* Whirl: @Ravage: Anything left over on my tab? I gave you more'n one of those packages. Seems like a bit of a lopsided deal for a single drink. ItsyBitsySpyers: ((awww i'm sorry bee mun)) Txen: ((also a good look: tfa magnus and his hammer. and shockwave after murdering him and stealin it)) Whirl: ((mmm tfa shockwave)) Bee: ((mmmmmm good stuff right there)) Windchill: (( That butthole. )) ItsyBitsySpyers: *Ravage shakes loose two small shots - all he's carrying on him - and snaps them up in feeler tail claw. Stalks over to deliver* Bee: ...suspenseful theme playing Whirl: *downs his Engex in one go and reached over to take them up in his huge claw* Thanks. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Gonna park here by Whirl and Windchill. Lazy cat.* Whirl: *e's gonna pour the shots into the empty glass and nurse it* Txen: Shockwave: *supplies for Rodimus once DS looks at him helplessly* Preserved remnants of ancient life forms. Airachnid: [all of the sentimental stuff mentioned is still making her sick, ew modesty] Windchill: *Squints at Ravage a little.* Whirl: ... *scoots over to make room, if Ravage desires; this, of course, puts him in an oh-so-convenient position to lean on Windchill* Txen: (( OwO )) Whirl: ((YEEEEE YE)_) CptRodimus: ... Hey, noseless guys can your hands turn into -other- things? *looks back to SHck* Thanks! Txen: ((I FORGOT ABOUT THAT PARTICULAR PART)) Bee: No. Whirl: Ha! Damn. Windchill: *Consider yourself lucky you're his friend WHIRL.* Txen: ((HIS TANK MODE HAS A JET PACK)) Bee: I mean, Arcee had some blades but I didn't have any melee weapons ItsyBitsySpyers: [[It depends on the mech.]] Whirl: *laughs again* I didn't know Shockwave could fly. Airachnid: Prime used to be able to make his arms into blades. boomtank: ..... Bee: ((ugh i gotta go T.T may be back.....)) ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave abruptly sits up a bit* Windchill: *RAISES HIS HAND.* Mine don't anymore. FakeProwl: ... *questioning look at Soundwave's hands* Airachnid: Apparently the Forge is not fond of arm blades. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[These,]] pointing to the screen [[were his last moments as a Decepticon.]] Txen: Shockwave: ...It is not sustained flight. FakeProwl: *oh. never mind. focuses on screen.* CptRodimus: *snrks* Whirl: Still. a flying tank. Never thought I'd see the day. Txen: Shockwave: *why do people always go for his helm.......* Shockbox changed their nickname to shockbox. shockbox: (( soundwave saving shockwave is pretty gay tbh.)) Whirl: ((i love it)) ItsyBitsySpyers: *Bird chitters noisily. Her time to shine soon* boomtank: Disable the helm, disable the mech Whirl: Whoa. That knocked him OUT? boomtank: Good strategy...if it works Airachnid: It's also a very big and obvious target. ItsyBitsySpyers: {{Bird said!}} ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Blades. Other hands. Nothing else. Yet. Whirl: Nice moves, mech. boomtank: That too Windchill: *Snickers.* Txen: ((boop)) FakeProwl: *small nod. blades makes sense. he's sorta blade-shaped.* CptRodimus: Niiiiiiiiice Whirl: Pfft! Txen: ((how long was megatron waiting there to catch it)) Whirl: Damn, you guys are all showing off tonight. FakeProwl: @Soundwave «... OTHER hands?» *why do your hands turn into more hands* ItsyBitsySpyers: ((is it skipping super bad for anyone else)) FakeProwl: ((it's okay here)) Windchill: (( I haven't noticed anything. )) boomtank: ((it's all good here Airachnid: same)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((hmm. thank you)) Whirl: ((ye, it's workin fine.. sorry neddles :<)) Txen: ((ahh. a good ep for good boys)) CptRodimus: SO--- Shockwave, about that CNA you wanted. FakeProwl: ((*smacks forge on cro's internet*)) Txen: Shockwave: ...Yes? ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): When deployers dock, hands: modified. Palm, extra digit, extra joints, sharper claws. Whirl: They just LEFT him there? Harsh. Windchill: Happened to me, once. ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Other hands. Whirl: And kinda stupid. FakeProwl: *ah. nods.* ItsyBitsySpyers: ((brb i'm gonna restart stream and see if it helps)) Windchill: *One gets used to it.* CptRodimus: *rubs chin* Can it come with a no cloning clause? ItsyBitsySpyers: ((kk back. let's see how my computer does now)) Whirl: ((WORK, I COMMAND U)) CptRodimus: And he is better at ice than you warm-only mecha. Txen: Shockwave: Yes. *most people with sense share the concern, though it is in this case unwarranted... and wouldnt stop him if he WERE up to something* shockbox: (( they could've given starscream a care guide or something.)) Whirl: Oh, lord. *swivels his helm to look at Predaking* I am so sorry that they made you work under HIM. FakeProwl: *Shockwave is inordinately fond of the word "logical" and its variations.* Airachnid: So far, that's the only thing I agree with. FakeProwl: *he's used it four times in two episodes, that Prowl noticed* Airachnid: [don't remind her] Windchill: *Snorts in approval.* Bruin: ((hell my internet is pitching a *** fiit, i blame the weather, see yall next week)) Txen: ((writers are silly and dont know other words to give him :') )) boomtank: Wheeljack. No. ItsyBitsySpyers: ((bye bruin ;; )) Whirl: ((sorry dude D: )) FakeProwl: ((night)) Windchill: (( Bye! )) Airachnid: Except when you move the rocks. FakeProwl: ((writers are very silly)) boomtank: Or tehy don't need to Whirl: *if Ravage is not going to take the spot on the couch, Whirl's gonna stretch out his legs* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Nah, Ravage likes where he is. But thank you.* boomtank: *they Windchill: *You stretch them drumsticks, boy.* Whirl: *but of course; he does so. Drumsticks away* Windchill: WHAT. boomtank: ....... Airachnid: Really? boomtank: WHEELJACK ItsyBitsySpyers: [[You've met him, haven't you?]] Txen: Predaking: *sneering a little at the screen* As was Starscream. Windchill: *Sighs, it was just getting good.* CptRodimus: Falm--- Yes. Whirl: *snickers* I can see that, Airachnid: At least the Predacon has a decent reconition of authority, and how Starscream ISN'T that. Windchill: *Wheezing sounds.* Whirl: Yeah. Good instincts. Txen: Predaking: *low, -low- chuckle* Whirl: Lord, why would they even bother making HIM the leader of the Wreckers? The whole point of the Wreckers is to do whatever you HAVE to to get the job done. CptRodimus: *oh yes growl and scowl dissapprovingly again* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[They did have a higher survival rate with him in charge.]] CptRodimus: *fufufu* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[They also had a higher desertion rate.]] boomtank: .... Whirl: I'll bet they didn't accomplish half of the scrap WE did, either. *snorts and takes a slow sip* Whirl: *but enough grumbling, he is eager to see this dragon fellow fight again* Txen: ((lmao i heard prowl)) CptRodimus: ((stfu prowl)) FakeProwl: ((prowl was just trying to helpfully keep you updated on your discord chat)) Windchill: *Shudders. NOPE.* ItsyBitsySpyers: //That ain't what he meant.// CptRodimus: ((he was telling be about the most effiecent way of dealing dmg* FakeProwl: ((important intel from the head autobot strategist)) Airachnid: Oh shut up Starscream. Windchill: (( Oh god this episode. )) Whirl: *snickers again* Windchill: Mistakes were made. FakeProwl: *decepticon high command is an absolute wreck* CptRodimus: ((it is doesnt have ventalation i dont think rodimus could wear that ItsyBitsySpyers: *Most of it.* Airachnid: [yes, yes it is] Whirl: *ugh. Stupid Magnus. How dare he be so good with a hammer* FakeProwl: *not just starscream. starscream is far more a symptom than the cause* Txen: ((JACKIES FACE)) boomtank: ....... Txen: ((u tried jackie)) Whirl: !!! C'mon, c'mon... Windchill: Well that's creepy. Whirl: Damn. FakeProwl: ((i'm sure it does have ventilation. starscream didn't take it off because he was actually hot, he took it off because he wanted to pretend he wasn't scared of PK)) FakeProwl: ((it'd be a cruddy piece of armor if it overheats you)) Whirl: Yes! Windchill: It's about time. FakeProwl: ... It's compatible with /humans/? Whirl: *tips his glass in a toast to Miko; best human* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Apparently.]] Airachnid: Which I do not understand. CptRodimus: Dont need a spark apparetnly Windchill: They're like distant cousins, I suppose. boomtank: So it has to have vents Windchill: Might as well. FakeProwl: Why and how did your universe manage to make a suit of armor that's compatible with organic aliens? ItsyBitsySpyers: [[They -are- from a world of Unicron's shell, and he is Cybertronian. Perhaps there is something recognizable about them.]] Whirl: Maybe it's got something to do with Unicron. FakeProwl: Hm. boomtank: Otherwise the human would suffocate FakeProwl: ... The Nemesis didn't recognize them. ItsyBitsySpyers: //That's a good point, the human not chokin'.// Whirl: *snickering* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[The Nemesis was specifically set not to search for anything except inorganics.]] Whirl: The Nemesis isn't an artifact, though--wasn't the Apex Armor from the Primes? Whirl: Or something? FakeProwl: Mm. Windchill: That's a fair point. CptRodimus: Burn! Airachnid: [LAUGHTER] Whirl: Haha! Windchill: *Gets distracted.* Windchill: The Nemisis is Trypticon, who has no reason to recognize humans... Whirl: *sits up eagerly* boomtank: ...wow Txen: Predaking: *hasnt spent much time with the humans, but this one spits fire* Whirl: (9SHE FIGHTS LIKE A WRESTLER)) Whirl: Look at that little Wrecker GO. Whirl: ((Look at those proud dads)) Txen: ((black sheep uncles at it again...)) boomtank: Safe to say most humans aren't like here, right? boomtank: *her Txen: ((ok i hate silasdown but this episode has some really good jokes with KO)) boomtank: ((gdi brain is off boomtank: ((like whoa ItsyBitsySpyers: ((silasdown is next, this is flirty ko)) Airachnid: yeah that's next ep friendo)) ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He doesn't know. None of the others ever got their fleshy hands on the Apex Armor.]] FakeProwl: *and in that moment, Prowl empathized completely with Ratchet* Windchill: Brilliant ItsyBitsySpyers: *Only now?* boomtank: True, true Txen: *one wonders how they managed to bridge perfectly into a circle of foes* CptRodimus: One more for the night then Ima going to go--- spar my conjunx. *grin* Airachnid: [can't help but chinhand, he's so cute when he talks science] boomtank: ....I did meet a human with other abilities once FakeProwl: *this is the first time Ratchet said he didn't want to abandon a complex equation to venture outside his comfort zone* boomtank: Called himself a 'Green Lantern' Txen: (jackie wins diaperyest butt)) ItsyBitsySpyers: //Sparrin', huh? That whatcha callin' it these days?// Windchill: (( It sure is a diaper butt. )) FakeProwl: ((you're right)) Whirl: ((omfg)) Whirl: *snickers* boomtank: ((can't unsee that now Windchill: *Raises brow too.* Whirl: ((also may I say: JEFFREY! COMBS...)) Airachnid: same tbh)) FakeProwl: *squints at the screen. squints very hard* Windchill: *Taps his claws against his lower lip.* boomtank: ...? CptRodimus: *snickers* Sparring. FakeProwl: ... Are the adult humans flirting. Windchill: Fascinating. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Glances over. Curious ping.* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Yes.]] CptRodimus: One is Windchill: Oh, look who can count. Whirl: *snickers again* Txen: Skylynx: *snorts* FakeProwl: *HAH. satisfied nod. figured it out on aliens, no less.* Txen: ((lots of glorious mandible dragon)) Whirl: I never really get tired of seeing Starscream get pushed around. Airachnid: Perhaps you shouldn't anger the giant creaute that can easily destroy equipment Starscream. Whirl: ((Predaking is fantastic <3)) ItsyBitsySpyers: *Irritated vent. He may not be a Decepticon, but that was still HIS communications equipment once upon a time* ItsyBitsySpyers: *At least he wasn't there for that.* Windchill: Oh my god. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Rumble cackles* Whirl: !!! Whirl: HEY. FakeProwl: Pff. Whirl: I guess me and the sassy one have similar taste in nicknames. CptRodimus: *snickers* Windchill: *Cackles.* Txen: *if it helps, he MEANT to hit the dish. and it played a part in him becoming a destabilizing force for the cons later on* Txen: ((wow miko u shipper)) ItsyBitsySpyers: *Lil bit.* Airachnid: Likewise. Txen: ((i love you ko....... so much)) Windchill: Good grief. Whirl: I mean, there are more disgusting things. CptRodimus: *laughs reminds him of Drift's opion on that* FakeProwl: ((he's a treasure)) Whirl: Like imagining Starscream interfacing. Whirl: ((he is indeed)) ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Why, Whirl. Why.]] Whirl: It was the most disgusting thing I could think of! Windchill: Congratulations, you sicko. Airachnid: Well, Whirl isn't wrong. boomtank: ............... FakeProwl: *imagines. ... mentally shrugs.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Somewhere, Ratbat is laughing.* CptRodimus: *pscyically shrugs* FakeProwl: ... How thick is his upholstery if he couldn't feel them crawling out of the back? Whirl: *nods decisively and takes another long sip, savoring the flavor* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[It's very plush.]] Windchill: That question sounded wrong, you know? boomtank: Apparently very thick CptRodimus: You tested the pushing Soundwave? CptRodimus: :3c ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Don't be ridiculous. Knock Out bragged.]] Whirl: Yeah, you seem really interested in his interior, prowl. *shoots him a sly look* FakeProwl: He probably installed genuine leather, didn't he. He seems the type. boomtank: Bragged about his seats? CptRodimus: Why-- I'd test it-- if I could gag him. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Bragged about his everything.]] boomtank: Ah boomtank: Seems the type Airachnid: He's the type of mecha that brags about literally anything about himself. boomtank: Really boomtank: ? boomtank: ((Raaaaaf ItsyBitsySpyers: [[His voice is acceptable.]] CptRodimus: *thumbs up* If you got it. Flaunt it Whirl: I like his attitude. CptRodimus: His jokes arent. Only one mech doing those puns allowed! Windchill: Lies. Whirl: Yeah,, you should hear the bad puns that come cracking out of THIS one. *elbows Windchill* boomtank: ...why didn't they have Soundwave do it in the first place? Windchill: *Grins. he's not ashamed.* CptRodimus: Desk mech boomtank: I mean, that's his system set up ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He doesn't know. He was not told when he acquired the footage.]] Whirl: I'm guessing Starscream didn't tell anyone until he had to. Windchill: Probably. boomtank: I'd be pissed if someone messed around with mine boomtank: Weren't you? ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Always.]] Txen: Shockwave: Whirl is correct. He wished to avoid the involvement of parties who were likely to report to Megatron. Airachnid: [grumbles at the sight of the Insecticons being terminated] Txen: Shockwave: *just because he was in his lab doesnt mean he didnt -pay attention-* FakeProwl: *ghhh. insecticons.* Windchill: *Frowns.* ItsyBitsySpyers: ((lord i'm failing all the insect moments tonight i'm sorry)) FakeProwl: ((it's okay. we'll call it accidental exposure therapy.)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((pffft.)) boomtank: ((poor prowl CptRodimus: Now its two ItsyBitsySpyers: *Logs Shockwave's explanation* ItsyBitsySpyers: //Two what?// Windchill: Pffft. CptRodimus: Two flirting ItsyBitsySpyers: //Ohhh, heh. Yeah.// boomtank: /really/ boomtank: ..... CptRodimus: Thats it~ Whirl: Pfft. What an idiot. Shockwave--did you KNOW from the get-go that the Preds would be sapient when you cloned 'em? ItsyBitsySpyers: ((aw, rats. okay)) Whirl: ((only three?)) boomtank: ((aww FakeProwl: *... he destroyed it JUST so that he could get to see Starscream's access code as it rebooted? unexpectedly devious. prowl approves.* Windchill: (( Good I was gonna say I might pee myself if I have to sit through Thirst tonight. )) CptRodimus: ((lol three is all we do every week Whirl: ((No, we always do four, dude)) Airachnid: really? felt like two)) FakeProwl: ((three to four. on very rare occasions, five.)) Txen: ((we usually do 4 but have been doing 3 lately :') )) boomtank: I think he just disproved Starscream there Whirl: ((okee dokee!)) CptRodimus: ((Well i need dinner and if we watch anoter its going be 12 before I get food FakeProwl: ((I'm fine ending here tonight)) Whirl: ((By all means! Go get yo dinner >8V FakeProwl: ((that means next week we get to start off with the best episode)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((...that means if everyone has straws on sunday this episode is gonna be really funny the next night.)) boomtank: ((HAH boomtank: ((don't think they'll look at straws the same again ItsyBitsySpyers: ((well, not funny, per se, but ooc the timing is, to me.)) Whirl: ((whirl still has no idea why Rodimus called him furry)) CptRodimus: *stretches* CptRodimus: ((mmmmmmmmmhahaha ItsyBitsySpyers: *In any case. Soundwave finally - FINALLY - gets something right and pings Prowl a warning.* CptRodimus: ((its ok rodimus is a well known xeno-*** Txen: Shockwave: *quiet for a moment. answering these things is always a little touchy when Predaking is present* Little direct information was available regarding Predacon abilities until they were cloned. FakeProwl: *... is the warning for next week. did you warn him a week early* ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Soundwave, accidental liar. Early tape termination unexpected. First tape next session, last Insecticon appearances. Airachnid: you can never be too prepared Prowl)) FakeProwl: *it's a week early. he'll take it. nods.* ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): ...This one suspects Prowl enjoys reason. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Stretches* Whirl: *nods* CptRodimus: *considering the room* FakeProwl: *oh? curious glance.* @Soundwave «I'll look forward to it.» Whirl: And did YOU always know how to access your bot mode? Just decided not to? *looks to Predaking* Windchill: (( Jfc I forgot the next few episodes Chill's going to get worked UP. )) ItsyBitsySpyers: *Suspicious look at Rodimus considering the room like that. What is he up to* CptRodimus: *:3* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Is he playing more lewd songs* boomtank: -oh. Right. Preds are in the room. Oops- Whirl: ((OHH BOY)) Txen: Predaking: *was still contemplating the screen. glances over and shakes his helm solemnly* No. When I first awoke, I possessed little more than natural instinct. Windchill: (( WHAT WHAT'S HAPPENIN )) Whirl: *nods; interesting* I'm glad your path to self-discovery was one long sequence of moments where you made Starscream's life difficult. Whirl: ((I was saying that in prep for Windchill gettin bothered)) CptRodimus: Like any true forgling. Windchill: (( OH DERP. Not the hot and bothered kind WE HOPE. )) CptRodimus: *stands and stretches bouncing out some extra energy* Txen: Predaking: *snorts quietly and smirks a bit* I would go on to do more than that. *waves a claw in the direction of his gouged-out optic* FakeProwl: *prowl is really starting to be unable to stand this song* Windchill: (( Assuming I make it next week that is, schedule's still out. >:U )) ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave's not sure what he was expecting from that :3 face.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *This seems... relatively safe* Whirl: Nice! I look forward to seeing that. Windchill: *STRETCHES, leans on Whirl a little.* CptRodimus: ((I only got 28 sings rn TnT the only pc had 200 rodimus songs CptRodimus: ((old* Whirl: *leans back* Next week, presumably, my processor won't feel like it got smashed by the Magnus hammer, so you'd better not make me kick you. Windchill: That sounds like a challenge. Windchill: Or a threat, maybe. Windchill: I think you'll find I respond very well to threats. ItsyBitsySpyers: ((oh i don't mind, i was just like. worried the couches were gonna drop again or something lmao)) CptRodimus: ...WOuldnt you LIKE it if Magnus''s hammer hit you? Whirl: Mostly a warning. Whirl: Not in the crotch, I wouldn't. Windchill: Really? CptRodimus: *helm tilt* Thats a weakness? Windchill: It's almost like you don't love me anymore. Txen: ((SAME CRO)) boomtank: ((plz don't drop the couches again FakeProwl: ((i was expecting increasingly lewd songs tbh)) Windchill: *Drapes his arm over his face dramatically, what happened to the mech who's bed he dented?* CptRodimus: ((lol rodimus was seeing if there was a lap he wanted to try to crawl into CptRodimus: ((I ran out of ideas lol ItsyBitsySpyers: ((every single person on this couch would have been horrified lmao)) Txen: ((predakings lap is empty but i Do Not Recommend)) Sorida changed their nickname to Bee. boomtank: ((this Blaster is too small for that Whirl: ((perch upon the Predathrone Rodders)) Bee: ((dang did i miss everything? XD)) Bee: ((.........leave predaking's lap empty 2k17)) Whirl: I mean, it doesn't feel GREAT, Captain. FakeProwl: ((a room full of totally ill-suited laps)) Airachnid: yeah pretty much)) CptRodimus: ((At least Preds by find a bot the same heat/hotter than him interesting? Whirl: And I do it BECAUSE I care, Windchill. What else are friends for, if not kicking each other in the junk? Whirl: (HAHA WHAT TIMING BEE)) ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy's tired. He trudges over to Soundwave and flicks his assigned arm to signal a dock request. Soundwave nods, and very shortly, has one randomly shorter and thicker arm because why not.* Bee: ((END ME...)) CptRodimus: I know some mechs into that actually. Windchill: ...Sounds like I've been slacking on my end, what with all that kicking I haven't been doing. Windchill: One day, you'll get your comeuppance. Whirl: I'm sure there are. Everything is somebody's something. Whirl: One day. But it is not this day. CptRodimus: If it exsist someones got a thing for it CptRodimus: ((youtube these ads are keeping bad Windchill: Sure, I'll go easy on you since you have a headache. Airachnid: Ah yes, I love this song. boomtank: ...... Whirl: *snickers* Txen: *shockwave casually watches to inspect the docking sequence. good, everything still seems to be working as intended* Bee: ..So that's where the meme comes from. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Yep. Even tired, all is 100% well.* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Perhaps he should make a short night of it. Much to... think about. Before next week.]] CptRodimus: Whats next week? Whirl: You can just admit you're intimidated by me, Windchill. It's all right. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[If he told you, we wouldn't need to see it.]] Windchill: Me, lie? Windchill: Never. FakeProwl: *half-watches. other hand.* Whirl: If by "never" you mean, "right now." boomtank: That's ominous Txen: *expects no less from his own work, but thats no reason not to remain vigilant for unexpected complications* Windchill: Ding dong, you're wrong. Whirl: *streeetches slowly, mking sure to leverage his weight back on Windchill as much as possible* All right. I'm out. Later, losers. Windchill: I'll beat you up right now if that's what you want. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Farewell, Whirl. And if it sounds ominous, it should.]] Windchill: Or, later. boomtank: G'night Whirl Bee: ...Omninous isn't good. Whirl: *bobs his helm to Soundwave and go, and elbows Windchill one last time* Later. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave nods to both companions and rises, gesturing for the others to hurry up and dock.* Windchill: Bye, sucker. boomtank: ...right then Txen: (augh guys im gonna dip out too, i have some chores i need to get done before bed and i wanna get caught up on replies)) Whirl: *also bobs his head to Blaster, and to Airachnid... and Shockwave, and the Preds* Whirl: *he's got so many people to bob to these days* CptRodimus: ((rosimus asked sound a question ItsyBitsySpyers: ((soundwave answered!)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((look two below your question)) CptRodimus: ((got it! FakeProwl: *stands as well* CptRodimus: Oh. just the vids. I already seen it. Airachnid: [is just going to leave as well, she's getting bored] Bee: ((whelp g'night everyone, been fun. XD)) Windchill: *Stretches now that he has more couch to himself!* ItsyBitsySpyers: *....Nods. Don't say anything yet, Rodimus.* Txen: Shockwave: Fare well. *will have to spend a few moments corralling the predacons before they can go* boomtank: -Stands as well- G'night, and thanks for the vids CptRodimus: *his wings are the only spoilers allowed* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Once everyone's collected, Soundwave pings the room goodnight, and heads home. Those claws may be twitching slightly on his way out.* boomtank: ((thanks for the stream! Windchill: *How long can he nap before someone chases him home? LET'S FIND OUT.* CptRodimus: *smirks lewdly-- then sudden;y sighs and flops back onto his couch to sulk a little before pulling out a datapad* CptRodimus: *who else is still here he glances over his datapad light from a vid lighting up his faceplates* Windchill: *Is here drooling.* FakeProwl: *hasn't left quite yet* FakeProwl: *... eye of the tiger came on* Windchill: *Always a good reason to hang out.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave would've approved if he was still here.* CptRodimus: *slightly turns up what he is watching straining will make it out now* Windchill: *Well that's an ungodly racket there, isn't it.* Windchill: *It's enough to wake the dead, or him at least.* CptRodimus: *its pornz btw* Windchill: *Nice.* Windchill: *He sits up with a groan, and wipes his face. Short nap = good, now it's time to go back home and WORK.* FakeProwl: *prowl is going to interpret that as a "get out of the room" sign— dammit rodimus* Windchill: Ugh, bye you losers. FakeProwl: *you can't go "get out of the room" with your porn and then put on the Eagles.* Windchill: I'm out. *Creaks to his feet, and shuffles out.* CptRodimus: *its two types of pronz he'd make sweet love with engles on* CptRodimus: ((engle omg FakeProwl: *well who wouldn't.* CptRodimus: See ya CptRodimus: *flips his datapad over and just offlines his optics and lets his helm fall back as he listens* FakeProwl: *he's stuck here til the end of the song. might as well sit again.* CptRodimus: Eagles are pretty great. FakeProwl: *is rodimus talking to him? ... he's the only one here. apparently so.* They are. CptRodimus: You get a copy of the Cybertorian remaster greatest hits yet? FakeProwl: No. I just recorded them off the radio. CptRodimus: Ask one of the green squad I got it--- I found--- gdi I dataswapped and a con and that encoded. They should beable to find a copy of that remaster not encoding in--- well that data. *grins* FakeProwl: On Earth? I don't think they're still in communication with any 'Cons that were on Earth. ... Or anyone else, for that matter. CptRodimus: I got it on Earth before hte war ended. CptRodimus: That con didnt make it pass Dark Cybertron otherwise I'd ask him for the clean copy. CptRodimus: *sorta a lie...* CptRodimus: *oh well Prowl doesnt care* CptRodimus: I know someone gota have a clean copy of it somewhere. And I cant go asking without the looks, Drift not going to want me getting. So *finger points* If you find a clean copy I'm interested! FakeProwl: I'll let you know if I find one. It might be on the B.C. CptRodimus: ((bc? FakeProwl: ((Big Conversation. decepticon facebook. the Constructicons are all on.)) CptRodimus: ((prefect! thats what I was thinking! CptRodimus: ((meanwhile rodimsu got too relaxed and early walked into admited he hardlined with a con mid war oopies FakeProwl: ((prowl assumes he's talking about 'facing with a Con during the time they were cooperating on building that shuttle)) FakeProwl: ((rn he's trying to mentally cross-reference "Cons that were working on the shuttle" and "Cons that died during Dark Cybertron" and not coming up with any names)) CptRodimus: ((that what rodimus was covering it too even if it was a on coming f*ck0buddy thing CptRodimus: ((Since the Con wasnt on earth during that time CptRodimus: ((But he had been on earth breifly before FakeProwl: ((rn Prowl's #1 suspect is Skywarp. He didn't die during DC, but he came out of it severely weakened.)) CptRodimus: ((close same alt mode CptRodimus: ((and skywarp fits Rodimus's taste CptRodimus: ((looks wise CptRodimus: ((let me know if you want to know if you dont already xD FakeProwl: ((prowl's thinking "yeah... they're just obnoxious enough to match each other")) FakeProwl: ((go head.)) FakeProwl: ((top suspect is sunstorm)) CptRodimus: ((Sunstorm CptRodimus: ((yeppers CptRodimus: ((I wanted one i could line up and move around mid war and it not really matter FakeProwl: ((gad, and they're both nyon survivors)) CptRodimus: (also they had a breif encounter right before the LL left, native Drift wasnt pleased.  But sunstorm was way into wanting to play out a prime and his seeker kink and roddy contently indulged YEP Smokescreee: FRAG IT'S MONDAY FakeProwl: ... You missed it. FakeProwl: !!! Smokescreee: i missed everything CptRodimus: *startles* FakeProwl: ((those were backwards, cmon LS)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((LMFAO)) Smokescreee: How much did I miss? CptRodimus: You want a copy? CptRodimus: Three of them Smokescreee: Yeah! That'd be good! Smokescreee: I mean- I lived through it, but seeing what the 'cons were up to is fun. CptRodimus: Whats your nurolink id? CptRodimus: ...You guys got those? FakeProwl: *tries to tune smokescreen out and focus to Boston* CptRodimus: There was alot of con parts Smokescreee: That? Not exactly-- there's probably an equivalent, though. Smokescreee: Oh, really? ... How embarrassing was I? CptRodimus: You were fine. CptRodimus: Mostly is was dragons and Starscream being... himself. FakeProwl: *and Knock Out being handsome. ... Prowl's keeping that observation to himself.* CptRodimus: Even ours is more competant. *stands up and overs a personal cable to smokey.* You may want to sit to data transfer with me. *he kneels over a table and starts going threw a crate* Smokescreee: /Hey Smokescreen would shamelessly agree that Knock Out is handsome in these/ Smokescreee: Yeaaahh, Starscream's a mess. I'm glad he's not around where I am whenever I rewatch this stuff. And- wait, really? /And he's going to go ahead and sit down before plugging that into himself./ CptRodimus: !! CptRodimus: *dont think dont think dont think* CptRodimus: *pulls out a inbetweener Rodimus cant control his data speeds.. muc to his embrassment* CptRodimus: *just going to gently unplug you there smokey we dont want to fry you today yes?* Smokescreee: /Oh dangit- Smokescreen was going to try to think about some songs he's been tricked with/ CptRodimus: *just going to try to guilty hide the device from Prowl* Smokescreee: /But not being fried sounds pretty good to him!/ CptRodimus: *ok ther in .4 sec all the vides to this point* FakeProwl: *no worries, Prowl's barely paying attention. he's listening to the music.* FakeProwl: *he's vaguely aware that they're hardlining. But Kansas is on.* CptRodimus: *unplugs and pats Smokey's head* There you go! CptRodimus: ((its just boring kind Smokescreee: /Whoaaaa-- that's a pretty good use! Smokescreen's trying to think of anything he can provide in return- and then Rodimus unplugs./ Smokescreee: Thanks! I'll have to get something for you next time. FakeProwl: ((it's more boring than Kansas, that's all Prowl's concerned about.)) CptRodimus: *smiles then winks* You can trade me later with more flair~ CptRodimus: ((now THAT is sexy hardline offer Smokescreee: /Winking back/ Dunno if I can have as much flair as you! You're the one with flames here, after all CptRodimus: *lols* It's true. Must be hard to have to live up to the little bro. CptRodimus: OK! Now I gota get to work before Drift steals all of it. So if I want my heatsink tonight I gota beat him to my piles of pads! Smokescreee: Hey- I'm pretty sure I can match, though. I've got my own racing stripes here- and phase shifter's got its own flair! CptRodimus: It does!!1 I wanta see that once I finish getting this ship up and moving Smokescreee: Have a good night, then! Get that heatsink! CptRodimus: *snickers* I will FakeProwl: *prowl's pretty sure this means the music is over* CptRodimus: *nods to Prowl* FakeProwl: *that's fine. looks like the playlist has started repeating anyway. Rodimus doesn't have enough songs.* CptRodimus: *its sad* FakeProwl: *nods back* FakeProwl: *flickers and disappears*

new year new me

Lol. what a joke. ive already started this “new year” off wrong. i dont even know where to start. i just know i need to get these thoughts out and gone so i can reset. 

i started cleaning my apartment today. which i knew would help. 

last night was disgusting. i think i woke up like 4 times to get food. and in a sleepy state stuffed my face with sweets. i didnt even enjoy the taste i just convinced myself that i needed food and was hungry. i hate that i did that. and then went right back to sleep. like youuuu are disgusting. i also hate that i can notice a difference. im significantly more bloated, and chubby then i was. i got this stupid cold that i’ve literally had for 3 weeks almost and i really havent worked out. everytime i workout i feel like shit. 

part of that i want to blame on that i’ve been seeing donald so much. but what does that have to do with me. i should be able to say no to bad behavior despite the company i keep. i went almost 6-8 months without having toxic food in my body. i did that crazy cleanse and was stupid successful. i cant start treding backwards now. i got on the scale today which was a mistake and i was almost 3 pounds heavier. not only am i disappointed in myself. but i know that charlie would be disappointed. i specifically chose him over the instagram girl because i knew i would feel like i didn't want to let him down. maybe because i knew his before. maybe because i saw how much progress he was able to accomplish in a year. but im definitely disappointed in myself. i really cant let this behavior continue, or affect my progress. i need to be okay with the fact that there are bumps in the road, and get back to business. change my fucking tired and get to skippin because i’ve already lost time. 

NOT TO MENTION MY SCHHOOOL WORK. god has that taken a backseat on every single thing. donald, working out, eating right, hanging out with people, smoking, sleeping, tv, relaxing... everything seems more important then school work lately. i still have webinar hours i need to complete. and several exams.... im so close but so far and i cant find the motivation to finish. there are still so many things i dont know. and so much studying for this stupid VTNE i need to get done.

i remember writing a post a while back about how i start things and can never finish them. here i am...

halfway through my weightloss progress. stuck

halfway through school, stuck.

in this lul with donald, stuck. 

trying to make work a better place, STUCK.

why cant i finish anything i start. its fucking wack. 

should we even talk about my acid trip? sure why not. 

i took the fucking acid... against my better judgement. and it was cool. it was honestly pretty cool. i didnt take too much because i was nervous. BUT AS EXPECTED the next day was crazy. i was WILD emotion. as if i had just done a bunch of molly. and i didnt want to be alone. i felt like i needed to be in somebody’s company. so i tried talking to my druggie community about it, and the consensus was that i have my period and my hormones are all crazy, so when i was on acid i was my most emotional self and may have brought out realizations and am dealing with them now... dude. when they told me that i was like WHAT THE FUCK. so i’m actually feeling alone inside? 

un-related... donald mentioned that ALL OF A SUDDEN he doesnt want kids “i realize i dont need them” WELL ISN’T THAT FANTASTIC. what is happening? 

meanwhile i damn near have baby fever. fucking gina was showing me all these crazy family pictures and the boys and it just looks like they were happy. i dont know sometimes im like maybe i could create the family i’ve always wanted. and be happy. WHICH IS JUST BANNANAS. 

sometimes i’m like.... damn, i love this man and he is my best friend in the whole wide world. and sometimes i’m like.... damn, maybe were so toxic for each other we can never be together. 

^^ ya know either or.