#it’s all depressing this pretentious that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

stergeon · 22 days

Note

for the writer ask

💭🚦💛 💌

💭 What inspires you and your writing?

this is a real marketing major-ass answer (from your local marketing major), but i love sharing knowledge and telling stories. writing’s one of those things that’s a bit of a compulsion for me—i’m always writing something. i took a five-year break from fiction writing before i stumbled ass-first into fanfic last year, but even in those years when i was focusing on my career, i was writing guides and trainings and a ton of other stuff—just not anything fun, lol.

writing is also so cathartic. sometimes i set out to tell a specific story, but at other times, a particular emotion gets me in a vice grip and i have to put it to words before it’ll go away. my stories tend to wind up as emotional dumping grounds as a result.

i don’t write things pulled directly from my own life, but there are bits and pieces of myself and things that have happened to me scattered throughout stuff i’ve written, and usually when i’m about 75% of the way through a piece, i’ll realize it’s absolutely related to something i’m currently going through. funny how art works that way, even when you don’t intend for it to.

and occasionally i just have a fire lit under my ass about an issue and i get so hot about it that i gotta compile my thoughts. looking at you, silver snow

🚦 What sort of endings do you prefer to write: ambiguous, bad, happily ever after, etc.?

look, i would love nothing more for them girls (pick whichever girls you please) to have a happy ending where they kiss and are stupid in love for the rest of forever. i love reading those kinds of stories. but in my heart of hearts, i love an ambiguous ending. i like when there are still questions after the story ends. i like thinking about where things could go or how the characters will go on after the events of the story. like, shared space could be read as having a happy ending, but i don’t really think it is. and with the victors; the vestiges, well. you’ll see :0)

come to think of it, i’m not sure i’ve ever written a happily-ever-after, but i don’t think i’ve ever written a 100% bad ending, either. i read too many bury-your-gays stories and watched too many sad european queer coming-of-age films in my youth to ever be happy putting that kinda thing out into the world. i want to write about love with all its ugliness, but not despair or hopelessness. i think what most appeals to me about an ambiguous ending is that lingering feeling of hope. it’s not the same as the kind you get from a happily-ever-after, and something about it speaks to me.

💛 What is the most impactful lesson you’ve learned about writing?

honestly? how to take criticism. i took a creative writing class in high school where we had to read our work out loud and then receive feedback on it from the other writers in the class, and that did a lot for me. going into that class, i’d already been writing for forever and had won some little local writing contests and such, so i was a wee bit of a pretentious douche. but i’d never gotten real critique before beyond, essentially, spelling and grammar checks. it humbled me lol. it made me grow so much as a writer, and i could see where i needed to improve or where my head was wedged way too far up my own ass for others to follow. it also helped me recognize strengths i didn’t know i had, and that was huge. it’s easy to get into a self-doubt spiral when making creative work, and good, constructive criticism can do so much to help avoid that.

to this day i love critique. i like knowing what worked or didn’t work so that i can continue to improve as a writer and do better next time. did my themes land? did something really work, but another part fall flat? i’d love to know!! i try to treat everything i write as practice for the next thing, and frankly that’s helped take some of the pressure off so i don’t go into total Perfectionist Mode.

i know critique is kind of a sensitive topic in fan spaces, but i think that’s because a lot of people have gotten unsolicited criticism that is purely critical and isn’t constructive. but getting good, constructive criticism will do so much to help a person grow as a writer. it’s scary, and sometimes it hurts! writing is very personal for most people, and it stings when things aren’t received the way you think they will be. but i know i’ve grown more from having my failures pointed out (and, very importantly, having the good things about those efforts acknowledged) than anything else.

💌 Is there a favorite trope you like to write?

actually Just answered this in another ask!

#sterge.eml #foxyjeongin #thank you for playing my little game and letting me talk about stories (and about me lmao)#sorry this is kind of a long post #i talk too much #i think i sound pretentious in this ask whoops. sorry #unfortunately i kind of am. i’m working on it.#… i guess the short answer to that first question is ‘emotions and mental illness’ lol #if you follow me on twitter (not recommended as it’s just me complaining about the weather and not being able to ride my motorcycle)#you know that every time i bring up my writing in therapy my therapist rocks my shit by revealing the story is #in fact.#NOT about what i thought it was about #or more accurately it’s ALSO secretly about whatever’s going on with me in real life lmao #y’know what’s really fun? looking back at something you wrote in a manic or depressive episode and going ah. hm. interesting.#the signs were. in fact. there.#(this is in fact not fun and i don’t like it. but it always happens.)#everything i write is accidentally Also about being bipolar. no getting around that #i tend to have issues organizing my thoughts and feelings to even figure out how tf i’m feeling #(forget making any attempt at doing so verbally. i have chronic foot-in-mouth disorder and accidentally say shit i don’t mean all the time)#but writing stuff down has always helped me sort through whatever mess is going on in my noggin and i love it for that #learning how to take critique is my no. 1 piece of writing advice but no. 2 is to read #read the classics. find out why they’re classics. read weird shit. read shit you don’t like. find things you like about em anyway.#and importantly: figure out WHY you do or don’t like it #it’s funny to re-read a book i haven’t read in a long time and discover OH. that’s where i get that technique from.#or that’s where i got that idea. or that’s why i had X thing happen in this story.#or why i like this type of character or scenario #nothing’s truly new and original #we’re all an amalgamation of influences and that ruuuuules #celebrate it!!!

2 notes · View notes

caffeinatedopossum · 1 year

Text

So apparently even if I gain muscle strength from exercising, I can't actually use it because my connective tissue is fucked up -_-

I still have a lot to learn about ehlers danlos syndrome so idk what exactly this means other than I'm feeling really discouraged because I'm I'm pain and I'm doing what I was told to do to make it better and it isn't making it better, it's making me feel worse

#this message was sponsored by my legs which gained an enormous amount of muscle strength #but are even weaker than before. literally its hard to walk or stand or doing anything with them because they feel so weak #but the muscles arent weak. apparently its just the *gestures vaguely at everything* making them like that #its not that i entirely havent found things that help because i definitely have but i cant help not being satisfied with it #thats probably pretty pretentious of me to think like that... but idk. i havent accepted that im actually disabled like longterm forever #i used to be able to do things why cant i go back ;-;#im still going to exercise because it helps my mental health though #i just dont know what to do about the injuries #maybe this is why my depression is getting bad again... its all pretty hopeless and i cant help but feel that intensely

10 notes · View notes

polaraffect · 1 year

Text

I started thinking about dark academia again this week and just had the most productive 3 hours of the past couple months. maybe i need to get back into this aesthetic fr

#damien.txt #listen aesthetics are fake humans are diverse etc etc but. it's getting me to do school work #also like idk it's making me participate in life again. i feel a little bit of optimism for the future again #i spent time outside reading today which hasn't happened since like a whole semester ago #idk i think maybe i'm just the type of person that Needs to romanticize my life otherwise i get depressed #also not to psycho-analyze myself but i place a lot of value on intelligence and i've felt particularly behind in that regard recently #so by embracing an aesthetic that highlights intelligence it creates an atmosphere in which i can feel intellignet again #which therefore boosts my confidence and all that. or maybe i'm just pretentious. who knows #anyways yeah sorry in advance if i go back to being a dark academia blog 💀💀#edit: NOT ME SPELLING INTELLIGENT WRONG IN MY THING ABOUT NOT FEELING INTELLIGENT NOOOO #it's too much effort to redo but 💀💀💀💀

7 notes · View notes

mothwithteeth · 11 months

Text

recently heard the term "i'm the problem music" as someone's preferred genre and i cannot think of a better way to describe my tastes. perfection

#moth talks #i hate when people ask bc like all the real answers to what kind of music do you listen to are weird #like my options if i'm being honest are folk punk which is so pretentious i could throw up #or anything about depressing subject matter #90s angst #all inappropriate answers for icebreakers #so usually i just lie and talk about liking a little bit of everything #which is true #all genres have their own unique expressions of sorrow #it fuels me

3 notes · View notes

zikadraws · 2 years

Text

If I see any more of the Reigen/Sans discourse on Twitter or anywhere really, I'm gonna lose my mind

#I don't fucking care if you'd rather get fucked by a pretentious twink or a depressive skeleton give it a rest #also sans deserve a break from all the fandom bullshit he's been through way too much-#aroace sans for the win btw #any fucking way

9 notes · View notes

the-furies · 1 year

Text

we've only been awake for like 2? almost 3 hours i think and in that timeframe we've almost teared up multiple times bc we r So Happy To Be Alive And We Want To Live And Experience The World And We Are So Joyful And Excited For The Future and I'm just like WHO the fuck is co-con rn.* What the fuck. What the fuck is going on**

(*i know exactly who's co-con rn)

(**This is one HELL of a period that's what's going on)

#talky #volition you MOTHERFUCKER #you wanna be apart of the fronting roster?? please??? please?????? for the love of god hello please?????????? /lighthearted #i wanna clarify yhat we're FINE. we aren't particularly depressed or anything as of late i dont think. idk. i don't remember #do i look like the kind of bitch that remembers shit for longer than a month nowadays. HfjskaHFJFJF #this is a fun feeling is this how like. normal people feel??#does any of this make sense do i sound pretentious and rude i dOnt know #what i DO know is that i want a fucking doctor bepper and we have NONE. i also want a borger #but alas!!!!!!!! we're having a bbq later today and NO BURGER!!!!!!!!! queerphobia i tell you!!! JCJDKSKAKXKCSK #WAIT I HAVE TO DRAW ART FOR TOMORROW OH MY GOD THE SYSTEM TURNS LIKE 13 TOMORROW!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!#sorry this is all over the place we slept in and couldnt take our adhd meds!

3 notes · View notes

arachnaesghost · 25 days

Text

Rich ppl owning beautiful old mansions but the insides ugly with decor that looks like it came from one of the suburb cookie cutter new build atrocities makes me sooo sad

#arachnaes ramblings #really letting all my pretentiousness out rn #it's just depressing tho

0 notes

escapism-is-better · 1 year

Text

youtube

watch this if you want to want to overanalyze and dissect the form of video essays

#video essay #academia vibes #overthinking #analyzing #pretentious 20-year-olds who think about the world's problems all day just to depress themselves even more than they already were #Youtube

0 notes

pissnvinegar · 1 year

Text

gonna throw up and cry i just tried saying hi to my roommate and compliment their shirt and they just brushed me off again. why do i even try

#vent sorry #like im sorry i cant help it that im at work for so long and its made me really depressed and i dont want to talk to anyone so i isolate #which apparently comes across as me ignoring them and being pretentious and now they all ignore me right back #not to mention they're literally planning to move out because of me and that fucking hurts so much #they were the ones who wanted me to move in in the first place and now they cant stand me i guess #feels like they just wanted me to move in out of pity and so they could feel better about themselves for 'getting me out of a bad situation #and now im miserable and miss my parents and live in a house where i irritate everyone just by existing #i cant talk to them or i annoy them. i cant hide or im being rude and cold. i cant win no matter what. this is hell #like im sorry i missed one of their birthdays because im so fucking tired and overworked and i have bad memory #and now theyre disappointed in me over that too even though they havent said anything i can tell #sorry for rambling. i dont expect anyone to actually read this i just had to get it out somewhere #im so sorry

1 note · View note

tgcg · 2 months

Text

==> listen here on youtube

4K+ follower special... & upon request by a few peeps

i enjoy underground hip hop a lot, & i'm rlly excited 2 share some of my favs ive found recently that really remind me of dave in particular. some r also in there because theyre just cool tho heheh. it's got a variety -- old school, modern, abstract, experimental... just a lot goig on.

i ask that u listen to it in order 🙂 i gave this a rlly deliberate track order heheheh. it has inspired segments.

CONTAINS:

(1-28) a superhero-vibe 2000s hip hop region, got temporal themes. gets kinda hype & intense at parts. starts with a 6-song bang.

(33-41) a doseone/yoni wolf/clouddead segment, experimental & vivid & depressing. cw for death and self harm mentions here.

(42-56) THE DIRKALUDE: aka the splash zone. a slightly more modern & art rap segment, getting reflective, chill&silly (chilly), bit "pretentious". kinda wett.

a primetime early serengeti sample platter

same with open mike eagle. because. i love him.

healthy sprinkling of odd nosdam beats throughout 4 daily vitamins & wellbeing

thank u guys so much for all your sapport & for engaging with me on things like this. i rlly hope any who listen enjoy da playlist & find some new artists u can vibe with 🧡 it's really a passion thing, so thank u to anyone who checks it out

the art is 100% based on serengeti's album dirty flamingo

love u all

#dave strider #homestuck #playlist

514 notes · View notes

f1byjessie · 3 months

Text

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS ━━ LN4.

sometimes the right words are hard to come across, and sometimes everything you need to say can be captured in an image.

( lando norris x photographer!reader )

━━ part one.

INSTAGRAM.

liked by mclaren, landonorris, and 505,281 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername a smiley lando is the best lando in my books! to celebrate the end of the 2023 season, here's a handful of my favourite photos from throughout the year!

view all 3,171 comments

mclaren What a happy lad! We can't wait to see that smile again in 2024 😁🧡

↳ yourusername you and me both! 🤝🧡

user she's got the dream job omg

↳ user IKR??? imagine just getting to follow lando around and take pictures of him all day, i'd be dead within the first hour

↳ user he'd smile at me and i'd be asking “what are we” on god 😩😩😩

↳ user is that literally all she does??? she just follows him around and takes pictures??

↳ user there’s probably a technical term for what her position is and i just don’t know it, but bc there’s so much going on around the track at any given moment, sometimes the press and other media workers are focused on something or someone else, so she’s hired on by mclaren to specifically focus on mclaren to make sure that there is content for mclaren or mclaren sponsors to use. she’s not just lando’s photographer, she also takes photos of oscar, the pit teams, and the other staff that work in the garage, but she was hired on when lando started so her portfolio is pretty full of him. hope this helps!

user didn't know i could need so much orange in my life but here we are

user LANDO NORRIS SUPREMACY

oscarpiastri i see who the favourite is 🫤

↳ yourusername you literally SAW me picking photos for your post too

↳ oscarpiastri yeah but you posted his first 🫤

user guys this is the face of the 2024 wdc winner take it in now

user i could write a 50 page thesis on the importance of these photos and what they mean to me and how the serotonin they make me release could replace my depression meds

user lad’s like a mini danny ric with how smiley he is

landonorris best photog right here folks

↳ yourusername you're only saying that bc i always get your good side

↳ landonorris i'll have you know that all sides are my good sides 🤨

↳ yourusername whatev helps you sleep at night luv 😊

In 2019, when you took on the job of being McLaren’s lead photographer, you hadn’t expected it would garner you the amount of attention it has, or that it would slingshot your career to levels of success you never could have anticipated, or that you would get a best friend out of it.

When you first met him back in those early days, you’d thought Lando Norris was an arrogant, pretentious, self-righteous prick who thought he was hot shit because he was a Formula One driver. However, he’d quickly proven you wrong when he’d admitted to you that a lot of the confidence was an act━ carefully constructed to hide his insecurities about his performance both on and off the track.

“I mean, we’re drivers, yeah?” He’d said. “But we’re also actors. We’ve got these personas that we have to uphold even out here on the paddock, and I’m always worried I’m not playing the part well enough.”

It hadn’t made a lot of sense to you then, you thought he was pulling off the persona of Total Douche remarkably well, but in Shanghai, things changed.

After the Chinese Grand Prix, things were dour. Lando had DNFed━ the first in his Formula One career━ which contrasted greatly with his previous accomplishment of P6 in Bahrain. Carlos Sainz hadn’t been doing very well, either, and it didn’t paint a very pretty picture for McLaren so early in the season. You’d thought he’d throw a hissy fit, tear Daniil Kvyat apart for his role in the crash, or at the very least throw some shade his way, but he hadn’t done any of that. He’d accepted his fate with grace, joked to the media about how boring the race had been because of what had happened, and then gone on to congratulate Carlos for at least finishing.

What was even more shocking, was that despite his disappointment and the frustration he must’ve been feeling, instead of going back to sulk in his lonesomeness or drown out his feelings with booze and loud music at some club, he’d comforted you later that evening.

The morning of the race, as you’d been getting ready in your hotel room, you’d gotten a text from an unsaved number admitting to you that they’d been taking part in a months-long affair with your boyfriend but had been previously unaware that he was already taken and therefore wanted to let you know to clear their conscience. You’d managed to hold yourself together then━ mostly because you’d already done your makeup and, quite frankly, didn’t have the time to sob it all off and then attempt to salvage it━ but as the day drew to a close and the adrenaline of the race and its excitement wore off, and with nothing else to keep you distracted, you were struggling to keep yourself composed.

Lando had somehow noticed in that weirdly perceptive way of his that something was off, and he’d sat with you, asked what was wrong, and listened when you━ through tears━ explained the situation to him.

“He sounds like a total fucking muppet,” he’d commented after you’d said your piece, and he’d done it with such a deadpanned expression that it had startled a genuine laugh out of you. Because yeah, you’re (now ex) boyfriend had been a muppet.

After that━ and after all the rom-com and ice cream binging you’d both done in his hotel room afterward much to the chagrin of Lando’s nutritionist and the displeasure of his PR officer━ you’d rescinded your initial judgment of him. He was significantly less dickish than you’d originally thought, and it let you finally understand what he’d meant when he’d talked about putting on a persona.

The cocky, know-it-all prick that Lando pretended to be half the time was all just an act to hide his overly self-critical nature fueled by his insecurities.

By the end of the season, he’d gained a little confidence of his own and had subsequently toned down the assholery when he no longer needed to “fake it til he makes it,” and you were calling him your friend.

It’s 2023 now, and he’s since been upgraded to best friend status━ a role he takes very seriously, and constantly reminds you of.

“I’m your best friend━” case and point, “━you have to come to Bali with me. Literally, like, what am I gonna do without you there? Do you expect me to just go by myself? What if I get lost? Or what if somehow the mafia, who have unknowingly had a hit out on me for years, track me down there and I’m kidnapped and ransomed off for billions of dollars? What will you do then?”

“You just want me to take pictures of you,” you answer, rolling your eyes only because you know he can’t see you through the phone.

He gasps in mock offense. “I cannot believe you think I value you so little! I want you to take pictures of me and be here to help me make fun of awkward tourist spray tans so I don’t feel like a total asshole for being the only one who laughs.”

You laugh at that. “Well, unfortunately laughing at bad fake tans doesn’t pay the bills.”

“But taking pictures of me does.”

“Yeah, when McLaren is paying.” You turn back to your laptop, a photo put on pause mid-edit splayed across the screen. It’s of Lando, as most of your photos tend to be despite your attempts at keeping things even between the McLaren boys. It’s the last of the images you need to send over for their 2023 sendoff, and when it’s finished you’ll officially be without work for a painstaking two months. “I’m on break too, technically, until they need promotional shit for the new season.”

He huffs, and you can almost imagine the childish pout on his face. “What are you even doing, then?”

You hesitate, not because you don’t want Lando to know about your winter plans, but because you don’t really know how he’ll react, which means it could be anything between genuine happiness for you and congratulations, or abject horror and feigned screams of anguish. He’s always been dramatic like that, but even more so now that he’s comfortable enough with you and himself to have crawled a decent way out of his shell.

Even still, he’s your best friend and it would make you a pretty shitty person if you didn’t tell him.

“Believe it or not,” you start, wringing your hands together, “but Manchester City actually hit me up with an inquiry. Asked if I’d be interested in working with them on a project documenting their training throughout the winter months. I said I would love to.”

He pauses for a good long moment, and you prepare for the screaming, but all he says is━ “Man City? You traitor. I thought Man United was our forever!”

“Be so fucking real right now, Lando Norris,” you answer, laughing as you do so. You’re relieved, at least he hasn’t gone the feigned anguish route, but you also can’t tell if he’s happy for you or hiding his true feelings behind humor like he’s prone to doing. “You know damn well you only watched them for Christiano Ronaldo and he hasn’t played with United since 2009.”

“Technically he played for them in the 2021-2022 season,” he grumbles.

“Yeah,” you deadpan, “and he was dogshit. We both agreed to pretend it never happened.”

He groans, “I can’t believe this. My day is ruined and my disappointment is immeasurable.”

“Oh, get over yourself. It’s only for the winter. I’ll be back in McLaren Papaya by February when they need me snapping shots of you and Oscar next to the new livery,” you promise.

The reality is that it’ll probably be sooner. McLaren has always been good about getting you back at HQ pretty quickly, either to get some snapshots of the beginning of Lando and Oscar’s pre-season return or to just capture some material of the engineers at work to promote their readiness. You understand why they can’t keep you around all year━ no Lando and no Oscar means no you━ and with the sheer amount of content you capture and edit for them throughout the season, they’ve got enough to last them the handful of weeks you aren’t working.

Unfortunately, you aren’t working with a driver’s salary to keep you sustained over the break and rent certainly hasn’t been getting cheaper. In past years, your bank account has been chirping with crickets when you’ve returned to work after the winter, and that was before your landlord had decided to make your life a living hell.

You have an important job, but it’s by far the most important, and sometimes sacrifices have to be made. Working in sports media taught you that early on.

“Who knows?” Lando’s voice snaps you back. “Maybe Jack Grealish with his perfect hair and perfect calves will steal you away and you’ll be in sky blue forevermore.”

You laugh, “Jack Grealish is a happily taken man, and although he does have perfect hair and perfect calves, I’m more of a Haaland girl anyway.”

He guffaws. “I can’t believe I’m hearing this. You’re so far gone that you already have a preferred player. Jack Grealish is England’s poster boy! Everyone loves him whether they like City or not!” He heaves a dramatic sigh. “Christ, I can already feel you slipping through my fingers. I give it a week over there at Etihad before you call me up telling me I can find a new best friend because you’ve replaced me with Phil Foden and Julian Alvarez.”

“For someone who supposedly hates Manchester City, you’re certainly well-versed in their roster.”

“Well duh, I need to know my competition,” he says, like it’s obvious.

“Ah, yes,” you snark back sarcastically. “Because you, a Formula One driver, have to be worried about the football players of Manchester City.”

“Apparently I do if you’re calling yourself a Haaland girl now!”

You burst into cackles and he’s following shortly after with chuckles of his own that eventually peter out into a comfortable silence. You are really going to miss him for the few months you aren’t working with him.

The Formula One schedule is so jam-packed across the season that it typically means you’re getting to see him every day for an hour or two at least, if not for the entirety of the time he’s at the track. You follow him and Oscar to their sponsor obligations, their interviews, and everything in between. It’s honestly rare if you’re not getting a moment to goof off and dick around with one another━ and it’s even rarer for you to not actually see one another face to face in passing at the very least.

The off-season is your least favorite time of the year for this very reason, and though it makes you feel a bit full of yourself to think so, you imagine Lando doesn’t enjoy this time of year much either for the same reason.

“I promise I won’t replace you with any of the City boys,” you say after the silence has stretched on a moment longer.

He huffs again, but you can envision the smile tugging at his lips. “I suppose even if you do, I’ll just show up to a match and steal you away again.”

“As if. Have you seen Grealish’s calves?”

INSTAGRAM.

liked by user, user, and 517,472 others

footballfansofficial BREAKING: Manchester City Forward Garrett Ward caught with mysterious woman revealed to be well-known Formula One photographer Y/N L/N! The two were seen sharing a romantic evening on Friday, the 5th of January, ringing in a passionate start to 2024. Garrett Ward has been with Manchester City since 2021 but was out on loan to a lesser-known Championship League team until 2023. He has just recently begun to play for his team again, but an injury early into the season has seen him benched for a majority of his time back. Y/N L/N is a photographer for Formula One racing team McLaren and has been working with them since 2019. Recently, she has been working with Manchester City to help promote a new docuseries following the men’s team’s winter training. Check the link in our bio for the full article!

view all 12,971 comments

user OMG GARRETT WARD??? NOTORIOUS BACHELOR GARRETT WARD???

user who is she? like genuinely how is she relevant 🤔

↳ user no literally cuz like who even gives two shits about formula 1?

user girl works in f1 why can’t she stay there

↳ user i’m sure there are plenty of drivers who’d smash her idk why she needs to try and get footballers too like bffr 😒😒😒

user aint no way this bitch is kissing my man rn

user literally what does he even see in her??? she’s not even cute AND she’s wearing man united colors 💀💀

user Y/N L/N??? I THOUGHT SHE WAS WITH LANDO NORRIS???

↳ user LITERALLY ME TOO?? like she posts him all the time on insta so i just kinda thought they were an item or smth?? trouble in paradise maybe

user she’s fucking ugly wtf

user i wish these footballers who get with regular women would realize there are so many better girls out there that would ACTUALLY treat them well and would support them in their careers. like i bet this girl doesn’t even know anything about football. she works in f1 and that’s where she should stay bc nobody cares about that shit round here. she probably doesn’t even know the first thing about how football works, but i bet she’ll be at matches pretending like she knows what’s happening. garrett ward is gonna flush his career down the troilet for this chick bc she’s gonna convince him his busy schedule ain’t worth it and then city will be down a great forward for good, and it’ll all be her fault

user i mean she’s kinda pretty tbf

↳ user stfu she really isn’t

↳ user she gen looks like any random bitch off the street

user these comments are not it…. 😬

↳ user maybe you f1 fans just don’t know how to handle constructive criticism

↳ user is the constructive criticism in the room with us rn?? cuz all i’m seeing is bullying and hatred directed towards an innocent woman who’s only “crime” was going on a date

user ok so she can take photos?? 🙄🙄 maybe she should get a real job

↳ user she’s probably only with him so she can mooch off of him like a fucking gold digger

user AINT NO WAYYYYYY

user it’ll last a month max 😌 i’m calling it

user ayo lando come get your girl

━━ tags: @maih23 @urfavnoirette

━━ a/n: here we have it! took me a bit longer than the start of american smile did, but lando's story is officially here! (and it's a whopping 2.9k words to start us off). first and foremost, before we get started, garrett ward is 100% an oc and obviously does not play for manchester city, and this is bc i would feel absolutely horrible portraying a real person in the way that garrett will be later on. gather from that what you will haha! regardless, i hope you enjoy this first part and stick around for the rest!

#formula 1 #formula one #f1 #formula 1 imagine #f1 imagine #formula one imagine #f1 x reader #formula 1 x reader #formula one x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #social media au #lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #ln4 #oscar piastri

869 notes · View notes

jayflrt · 25 days

Text

𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝟕𝟖𝟔 26. the athenaeum

JAY HAD GONE THROUGH NUMEROUS INTERVIEWS IN HIS LIFE; THIS WASN'T ANYTHING HE HADN'T EXPERIENCED BEFORE.

The Athenaeum, which was the building designated for the Order members, looked grand on the outside, but it was even more magnificent on the inside. The living space was adorned with decorative sculptures and Corinthian pillars, and a spiraling staircase led to several upper levels. Jay swallowed hard when he realized that he would be living here if he was selected. That would surely make it harder to hide that he was only here for his assignment.

He walked in at 8:06 p.m. on the dot, hoping he had made the right decision, and a little anxious knot unraveled in his chest when Kim Jennie approached him with a pleased smile.

"Right this way to your interview, Jay," she said in a sweet voice, although her smile dropped as she tried to maintain a stoic expression.

In retrospect, the interview itself didn't sound too intimidating. A thirty minute interview with several people asking questions would go by quickly. But a room's worth of eyes were on him, and he felt his throat closing up. Surely, there were scarier things in the world than fifteen pretentious college students sizing him up, but Jay couldn't seem to think of anything but how stuffy the large room seemed to feel.

They were all sitting high above him, circling around the one chair in the middle of the room like a committee of vultures. They were all wearing dark cloaks with a golden wreath adorning the tops of their heads. It looked a little silly, but he tried not to stare too long at the headpieces.

Park Sungjin, Sunghoon's older brother, was seated right in the middle, eyes flitting between Jay and the sheet of paper in front of him. Jay looked around the room for a brief second, making eye contact with Jeonghan, who nearly cracked a smile before returning to looking impassive.

"Welcome to your interview, Jay," Sungjin began with an overwhelming air of authority, motioning for him to sit down. Jay cautiously took a seat, but he immediately felt swamped by everyone's gaze. "We've spent the past semester getting to know you and your accomplishments. All of us are quite familiar with your merit, but this interview is for us to get to know you on a deeper level to see if you have what it takes to be part of our next delegation."

Before Jay could even open his mouth to respond, Sungjin turned to the member to his right, asking, "Baekhyun, would you like to start us off?"

Byun Baekhyun nodded before leaning forward on his forearms. "Jay, if you could be president, during which historical event would it be?"

Jay almost gawked at him. Almost.

He treated the question as if it was any other professional interview question, though. If the Order was taking it seriously, then he had to, as well.

"Probably during the Great Depression," he answered after a few moments of pondering. "I would've done the opposite of whatever Hoover did with his laissez-faire approach, meaning more government intervention, more relief efforts, and less tariffs. Without the Great Depression, Germany probably wouldn't become fascist, so they would have no reason to form a huge army and start the second world war."

"Nice answer," Sungjin praised, which left a surge of relief flooding Jay's chest. "Jisoo?"

The pretty senior smiled coyly, scooting up in her seat to ask, "If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?"

Jay seriously thought this was all some sort of sick joke. What kind of question was that? Had he been taking all of this way too seriously?

"Maybe one of those Moon Trees," he said. "I think it's pretty cool that the seeds were still viable after going to the moon and back."

Kim Taehyung was next to ask a question, clearing his throat loudly to cover up Jeonghan whispering to Xu Minghao about where they could find a Moon Tree seed.

"Jay," Taehyung started, "if you could slap any person—living or dead—who would you slap?"

Jay leaned back in his chair, taken aback by the question. Was there a correct way to go about such a question? Could he really just list any person? He could perhaps say Hitler or Stalin, but that was stupid; anyone would slap those two if they were given the choice.

He could go for a more entertaining route, but Jay's mind was currently blanking and he could only think of one person that would have been completely inappropriate to blurt out. He knew you told him to be honest, but honesty would probably do him more harm than good.

However, the seconds were ticking by, and Jay was suddenly overly-conscious of everyone's blank stares. His heart started to beat faster when he realized that everyone was waiting for him to respond.

"Park Sunghoon."

Jay didn't even realize the words actually came out of his mouth until he noticed that the room was dead silent. As if he wasn't nervous already, his blunder made his heart beat against his rib cage like a drum while his palms grew clammy.

It was over.

There was no recovering from such a royal fuck-up. Jay had to find another way to go about this mission. He would have to tell his client that he failed. Maybe he would finally be let go, but then he would have to leave—

A snicker. Then another. And another.

Soon, the entire room had burst into laughter over Jay's answer, including Park Sungjin. Although most of them still looked as if they were in disbelief, they found it absolutely hysterical.

Kim Doyeon, who was currently wiping tears from the corners of her eyes, fought down giggles as she said, "We need you to elaborate."

"Looks like your brother pissed someone off again," Oh Sehun joked, nudging Sungjin from behind.

Sungjin returned a half-grin before folding his arms across his chest and looking down at Jay. "I'd like to hear why, too."

"Uh..." Jay was floundering for an excuse, buying himself time by rubbing his nose. He surely couldn't mention anything that had gone down between Sunghoon and you, so he thought back to a previous memory with the junior. "He puked on my new shoes last semester and never acknowledged it after that. I had to clean them by hand, and he puked on them again."

More laughter chorused from the fifteen of them, and Jay felt a little relieved that he managed to come up with a believable excuse to throw them off. As dumb as their questions were, he almost got himself into trouble there.

Once Sungjin managed to calm down the rest of the members, he shot Jay an apologetic look. "Sorry about them. This is supposed to be a professional interview." He shot pointed looks around the room, but even he wasn't taking his own words seriously. "None of us have ever laughed this hard over an interview question. How about we move onto Minghao?"

Minghao, who Jay couldn't tell was smiling because of his answer about wanting to punch Sunghoon or because Jeonghan had finally shut up about the Moon Trees, straightened his back and squared his shoulders. "Jay, how would you describe the color yellow to someone who's blind? You can take your time to think about this one before you answer."

Jay frowned as he thought long and hard about Minghao's question. It wasn't that it was anything challenging to answer, but he was never really a big fan of the color yellow in the first place.

Sunshine. Dandelions. Canaries. Sunflowers.

Sunshine—but he wasn't really keen on bright, blinding sunlight. Jay more so enjoyed the yellow hues of a sunset or a sunrise. He supposed people associated the color yellow with happiness, but he couldn't really see it.

And then he thought harder about those bright yellows, wondering what it was about the vibrance that made people feel so much joy. He furrowed his brows, and then it came to him all at once.

It wasn't the sunshine itself. Sure, maybe it was a contributing factor, but he remembered that hike he went on while he was back in Washington for winter break. You were standing on a large tree root with your hands on your hips, squinting up at the brilliant sun before nearly tripping over your feet and then laughing hysterically. Something warm and joyful exploding in his chest back then, making him wish he could freeze time.

Maybe that was yellow.

"When you're sad, you say you feel blue," he responded, "so I'd tell a blind person that yellow is their happiest memory. It's like that feeling you get when you look up at the sun and feel its heat on your face, or seeing someone you care for smile really big."

(He swore he could hear Bae Joohyun cooing at his answer from the left end of the room.)

"I think we'll have to wrap this up soon because the next interview is gonna be soon," Sungjin said. "Jennie, would you like to take this one?"

"I can," she said with a nod. "Jay, can you tell me your interpretation of how the name 'Order of Kryptos' came to be?"

Rather than his mouth going dry this time, Jay was more than ready to answer this question—a real question, unlike the previous icebreakers he had been getting. He had done his research far before he even started going to networking events for the Order.

"If I remember correctly, Kryptos is in reference to the sculpture by Jim Sanborn—the one outside the CIA headquarters. It contains four messages, the first three being solved and the fourth remaining one of the most famous unsolved codes in the world," Jay explained. "The name 'Kryptos' itself is the ancient Greek word for 'hidden,' so I believe your society's goals revolve around seeking intelligence and discovering the unknown."

"And what do you think the number 786 signifies?"

"The passcode to the building?"

"Correct."

"Seven-eight-six..." he mumbled, trying to rack his brain for an answer. "The sculpture contains a total of 1,800 characters and only 768 of them are decoded. That's the only connection I can make in my head that relates to 786. Other than that, I don't really know."

Jennie smiled. "Thank you, Jay."

He swallowed thickly. Did he mess up? No, he couldn't have. Jay had been on thin ice when he said he'd punch Sunghoon, but everything else, for the most part, had gone smoothly. There was no possible way he had any idea of knowing what the passcode was for.

"That concludes your interview, Jay," Sungjin said. "We are still deciding on when we're starting Tap Week, so we'll reach out with more information once we've solidified plans. Thank you for meeting with us today."

"Thank you," Jay echoed through the dry mouth and slack tongue.

He went around giving everyone firm handshakes before walking out of the Athenaeum. Although he didn't feel like his interview went terrible, Jay had a sinking feeling that his answer about Sunghoon was going to come back to bite him.

prev | masterlist | next

SUMMARY ▸ private investigator jay park just wants to complete his mission quietly and move on with his life. you, his new assignment who keeps consuming his thoughts, don't make that very easy for him.

AUTHOR'S NOTE ▸ SORRY WILL ANSWER ASKS WHEN I WAKE UP! so eepy rn

TAG LIST ▸ @zdgx1 @smouches @heesdazed @teawithbucky @leep0ems @peachpie4you @niniissus @kgneptun @jaeyunluvr @hooniesuniverse @zerasari @enhalov @sophiko22 @iselltulips @hoondiors @baekhyunstruly @jays-property @woninluv @heerinnie @fakeuwus @yizhoutv @en-happiness @theothernads @y4wnjunz @dammit-jjk @en-happiness @mari-oclock @enhypens-baby @soonyoungblr @jakeslvt @taetaenic @jebetwo @fairysungx @hsgwrld @shmooooo @ineedsomezzz @mrowwww @enha-stars @isawritesss @seongclb @lockburn-castle @alyssajavenss @enczen @calumsfringe @w3bqrl @luvyev @uhsakusa @luvnicho @wildflowermooon @navsnct

210 notes · View notes