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pochipop · 2 years

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＃BLACK CLOVER !! ♡ — HAVING AN ARTIST LOVER.

#. synopsis! — how they show support and love to their artist partner .

#. characters! — magna, luck, finral .

#. warnings! — none .

#. alt accounts! — @ddollipop (nsfw) @yyolkchi (reblog/spam) .

#. others! — navigation & masterlist .

＃ MAGNA !! ♡

— At first, he admittedly just doesn't get it. He's not mean about it, of course, and he supports anything you want to do in your free time that makes you happy (within limits, obviously. . .) but he can't say he really understands.

— Magna has always preferred more physical hobbies, and these days, those include joyriding on Crazy Cyclone, sparring with Luck, and creating general havoc just for the hell of it.

— So, the fact that you have what he views as such a leisurely hobby is somewhat unusual to him. But he wants to engage with your activities the way you engage with his, and after a few weeks, he puts forth the effort to really do so.

— It's not much in the beginning. He pays you some compliments here and there, which are incredibly sweet, but that's pretty much the bulk of it. Until he comes back from a mission with Yami and Finral and seeks you out for some recharge time.

— When Magna half walks, half stumbles into your room, he's more worn out than anything else. No severe injuries, nothing to worry about, just some general fatigue and a body begging for rest. Which he does at your demand, in your room, on your bed, all while you sit on the floor surrounded by tubes of paint.

— It's then that Magna truly gets it. He watches as you mix colors, brushstrokes blending and smoothing the paint out over the canvas with just a skilled flick of your wrist. It's like he's watching you perform magic all of your own.

— From then on, he likes to watch you paint when you'll allow it. Sometimes, you do request some privacy, especially when your social meter is running a little low, and he respects that! But he's always excited when you allow him the pleasure of watching you create art.

— To him, it feels like he's seeing a side of you that only comes out through colors that you layer with a brush. It feels like an honor to witness it.

— Magna is the type to shed literal tears if you paint him something and offer it to him as a gift. He would display it so proudly in his room, front and center, so much so that it would be impossible to miss it, even if you were just glancing inside.

— His compliments get heavier the more invested he becomes. He might even ask you to teach him how to paint something simple one day, even if he knows it won't turn out the best. It's the experience with you that counts!

＃ LUCK !! ♡

— He doesn't really have the type of patience that's required of someone to just sit down and watch someone paint. That would likely end up pretty disastrously, actually, what with his destructive habits and all. . .

— Still, Luck likes to see the finished products! He likes that you're sharing something special to you with him, especially when you tell him that he's the first/only person besides you to have seen a particular piece!

— His compliments aren't particularly nuanced or deep, usually just comments on your usage of specific colors or imagery, but you take them with a smile each time because you know he means it when he says them. He's always genuine, no matter the repetition.

— He has a habit of pointing out bright colors in your artwork, even when they're stifled amongst neutrals or darks. Luck really likes it when you paint with neons, which is a pretty rare occurrence since they can take a while to build up, and they're difficult to work into average pieces, but he secretly wishes you'd use them it more often. They're his favorite!

— Luck definitely has a very unique way of wording his praise. He's not particularly well-versed in art lingo or terms, since that's far from his area of expertise, so when he pays you compliments, they tend to be a little odd (in a charming way!)

— "I really like this one! The colors are really. . . BAM! It's exciting and fun! Makes me want to rush into a battle!"

— It's pretty clear that Luck doesn't get it. He's a warrior at heart, always ready to jump into a fight, and when he's not doing that, he's off somewhere causing mischief. So, it comes as no surprise that he's not exactly the artist type. But he supports you as best he can nonetheless, even when he's doing it right.

— Luck would take extra steps to not be loud or destructive near your room when he knows you're painting! He would also offer to try and make his sparring matches with Magna more dynamic so that you could have a cool point of reference for a painting.

＃ FINRAL !! ♡

— Fake it till you make it. Finral pretends to know a lot about art and painting in the beginning, just to make you happy. Unfortunately for him, he's not a very good pretender. You always knew when he was pulling something from nowhere but would never comment on it. You were just thankful he cared enough to make that large of an effort to show interest.

— In doing so, he tries too hard at first, using terms he doesn't really know the meaning of just to sound informed. You also find him skimming books related to art history and related subjects every now and again. It warms your heart, to say the very least.

— As Finral settles into the relationship, you see different sides of him. He becomes more genuine as you slowly chip away at his walls. And eventually, he comes clean about being all but fully clueless about art. You pretend to be shocked in the wake of his flustered confession.

— It doesn't really matter to you if he knows a lot about art. More than anything, you're just glad he has even a passive interest in your hobby, and you're thankful that he'd go to such lengths just to show you support.

— He enjoys watching you paint and would likely be the type to offer up a chunk of his skin as a canvas for you. Finral would be honored to have you paint his forearm, maybe his thigh or back. . . It feels intensely intimate to him. He also likes the way the brushes feel against his skin.

— He thinks of your art as an extension of you, so he treats it with the utmost respect. If you paint him something as a present, Finral will absolutely stare at it for long periods of time uninterrupted. If Magna catches him doing it, he won't hear the end of it for weeks.

— Is very earnest about the compliments he gives and loves to hear you talk about painting ideas for the future. Gets super invested in whatever you do, loves it all and will be vocal about it with a blush on his cheeks.

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kevkesblog · 4 years

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Translation: kicker magazine profile about Julian Brandt (July 27, 2020)

By Thomas Hennecke and Matthias Dersch

Had he made this artistic pass during the corona pandemic with empty stands in the stadium, it would have been a pity. A week before Christmas however, there is almost no free space in the Signal Iduna Park left. Everybody is ripped off their seats – except the RB Leipzig fans – the moment Julian Brandt marks the second goal. Brandt digs deep into his toolbox. Receiving the pass by Sancho, processing the ball, shot. Three actions in one fluent move, south American suppleness with ice-cold efficiency, a master class. Goal of the month December.

This cool blonde with the jersey number 19 – he is a man for the special moments. A player who makes a difference. And a gambler. A footballer having fun and who lets the difficult things look easy and made his relaxed demeanor a trademark. You can guess why he named Diego (the Bremer, not Maradona”, like Brandt said in BVB-TV) is his idol. The Brazilian used to have the blessings to do great things on the pitch. Diego also had a dream goal in his repertoire: 62,5 meter distance on April 20, 2007 against Alemannia Aachen. End score: 3:1.

The fact Brandt coolness also comes from a sometimes fatal way of risking things, relativizes his actions. You are torn a bit. People who appreciate show, spontaneity, art and creativity will love him more than people adding statistics and all mistakes and how they translate onto the pitch. The ‘Süddeutsche Zeitung’ looks beyond that and celebrated Brandt as a “Player with the Wow-Effect”. Brandt plays passes, so precise they will find almost every gap. As if they were managed by an electronic brain. He celebrates chop passes which look good and find their goals. But he also screws up counter chances with sloppy passes. He gives goals to his opponents with carless back passes. Or he shoots x-times against the goal, without a slightest danger to the goal keepers.

2019 is the second year with coach Lucien Favre and the so-called “restart”. BVB manager Zorc took a lot of money into his hands, in order to optimize the team. Looking back he wouldn’t be as passionate about some transfers as he was back then – but the 25 million euros for Brandt are still a good and useful investment, Zorc thinks: “Julian is a talented football player and has a lot of potential. He is very active on the pitch, demanding the ball, plays in a self-confidend way and doesn’t hide.”

Then follows the “but”. Zorc follows everything very closely from his box seat on the team bench. He sees mistakes by Brandt, unnecessary mistakes – calles “unforced errors” in tennis. “He still does a lot of them”, Zorc complains. “He has still work to do when it comes to working against the ball, Julian knows that best himself.” Indeed one doesn’t have to look far to find weaknesses. He himself is his biggest critic, the professional once claimed. Yet, he never lets that sort of self-reflection get out of his hands: “I always question myself, whenever I’m not performing well. But I never question the fact that I still can do it.”

It’s easy to spot: this Brandt-guy is not Mr. Perfect nor a football-playing robot. Rather he is an un-adjusted fine spirit on the pitch. Always in a good mood, with a fresh quote on his lips. During the USA-journey to Seattle last year, he was walking interested through the Museum of Pop Culture where Borussia was celebrating its “Black and Yellow night”. He had some small talk with journalists, he seems relaxed, approachable and cool. The opposite of the footballer clicheé of being arrogant. Brandt is “a fantastic guy” says Captian Marco Reus, “he’s a funny and open guy”.

As engaging, positive and uncomplicated his persona comes across: sometimes however Brandt appears to be less serious about stuff. It’s seems as if an extra scoop of ambition is missing, based on his body language. Unlike many other professionals. “I heard from many people before, about me looking like I’m sort of listlessness I embody”, Brandt said during an interview with the former BVB-player Patrick Owomoyela. Yet he assures: “My inner drive is always there.”

Brandt shows both faces during the game against Leipzig. Magical and faulty. He serves Timo Werner the 2:2-goal on a silver platter with his horrible wrong pass. “Perhaps someday there will be the award: wrong pass of the month”, says the 24 year-old. “I’m sure, I’ll get into the top 5.” BVB-boss Hans Joachim Watzke is face-palming on the stands in that moment. With some distance he likes Brandt’s way of playing. The BVB-boss says: “Julian makes extraordinary mistakes, because you can only play extraordinary if you take risky passes or have risky ideas.”

Five months later, both major teams in Germany play against each other on the evening of May 26. Borussia against Bayern; light house 2 against light house 1. Dortmund has to win, otherwise the Bundesliga title will be gone and Dortmund starts in a rush. Erling Haaland gets the ball in the midfield after 17 seconds, by winning a head ball against Joshua Kimmich. From the back Brandt storms in front like a speed train, captures the situation, speeds up the game and passes over to Thorgan Hazard with his left foot. The clock ticks – 19 seconds into the game – Manuel Neuer gets out of his goal and saves the situation for Bayern at the last moment. But he passes the ball into Haalands feet. His shot rushes through Neuers feet until Jerome Boating saves it for Bayern on the goal line. Brandt goal celebration dies on his lips. The blitz goal after just one minute – it would have been his act as well.

Same game, 43rd minute. Mats Hummels defending for Dortmund, the ball moves a few meters to the left. Kimmich gets the ball, looks up, sees Roman Bürki standing a bit too far away from the goal, shoots and scores. The guy standing the closest to Kimmich: Brandt. It would have been unfair to make him responsible for the goal alone, half of the team is responsible as well. Yet some people who’s heart is beating for black and yellow would have preferred Brandt at least trying to hinder Kimmich on making his genius shot. He does: nothing.

He's a day dreamer, Brandt once said. Day dreamers keep strolling through their thoughts. A study found out: day dreamers are capable finding time to dream because their brains have enough space left. In the past day dreaming was understood as a sign of lack of concentration and attention – today people see it as a sign of intelligence and creativity. Like a lost professor: brilliant, sharp mind, yet sunk into his own world.

It is however no explanation for him being passive in front of the goal in May that basically pre-decided the German championship. Brandt made his day dreamer confession in a different context – when asked about a career plan. He doesn’t have one, he said: “Everything that happens in my life, happens spontaneously. I don’t even know what I will be doing in three weeks from now.” Brandt lives his live as free and individual as possible and as disciplined as necessary. He likes to sleep long in the morning and only leave “shortly” in order to just barley making it on time at the training ground. “Every minute is sacred” he says with a wink of an eye. “I don’t know how often I had to pay a penalty for being too late.”

A year Brandt is employed in Dortmund. The statistics are showing respectable numbers. 42 games, seven goals, 13 assists, ten second-pass assists. The season prior in Leverkusen he had seven goals and 15 assists – just in the Bundesliga. He added six scorer points in the DFB Cup then and the Europa League. “I had to find my place during the first months. I played on many positions and didn’t know many of the boys yet. It’s why it was a bit un-harmonic”, says Brandt. “Nevertheless, now I’m “in”. I had a nice year with great moments. I have to say: I’m really satisfied. Everything can get much better. However its was fine for the first year.”

Brandt wanders through the BVB team, gets put into five different roles. The center midfield is the place where he can show his class the best – whenever he has the game in front of him. He can put his instincts and creativity into force and can create chances with his passes. He is basically a lost force when playing way in front. Except against Slavia Prag in the Champions League he confirmed with two assists, Favre decision putting him into the front as a striker. His abilities are also limited once he plays on the wings.

He never has a lack of commitment and engagement. Brandt is running on average 11,85 kilometers in 90 minutes. Nobody of the permanent Dortmund players is running more. He wins 52,4 % of his one-on-ones – more than Sancho (45,6%), Marco Reus (44,6%), Hazard (42,0%) or Haaland (41,4%). His passing with a 84 percent accuracy however still has room for improvement compared to the other specialists like Axel Witsel (94,1%), Dan-Axel Zagadou (91,1%) or Raphael Guerreiro (89,2%).

Brandt is brilliant in games like against Gladbach (DFB Cup, kicker-grade: 1,5), against Fortuna Düsseldorf or Schalke in the Bundesliga (both 1,5). He has personal low points in Freiburg (sub in and out of the same game; grade: 5), in Munich (grade: 6) and against Milan in the Champions League, where he basically loses the ball in almost every scene. Every game becomes a personal balancing act for the highly skilled national player: he dances on a high wire – here and there he loses his grip and crashes down.

His time in Dortmund started with a glitch. He makes a mistake and drives onto the parking lot of the youth time at 7.45am in the morning. A BVB employee has to show him the way. Brandt decided to leave the comfort zone Leverkusen on purpose. “Dortmund” – he says, “Dortmund is much bigger in terms of media interest, the stadium, the number of fans and in terms of pressure. It’s a different game here. It could make a mark on me and will serve me good.” And then there is the wish to win a title which made him to transfer to Dortmund. It’s about a basic attitude in sports, Brandt said a year ago, “everybody should have the drive to win every game.”

Because Dortmund only won 28 of their 46 games this past season (seven draws, eleven defeats) a lively debate about coach Favré heats up as well as a discussion about the mentality of the team. No fans will get together in Dortmund and celebrate the fifth second place finish of the team since 2013. Nobody will fill extra pages in historic club chronicles, some BVB players are now suspecting. “We are not satisfied to finish second”, Brandt confesses. “We aren’t angry, but also not satisfied. We want more.” He then sticks up for his colleagues who get criticized for some bad performances and whenever there are doubts about their mentality and the harsh criticism: “We want to the big price. The team is hungry, they are in for it to win titles. The team is capable of that. You have to always aim high.”

Children who are having their first day of school this year, have lived a life only knowing Bayern Munich as German football champions. In order for them to understand that other teams can be successful as well, Dortmund needs to win the “all-or-nothing”-games, Brandt thinks. The duels with the other Bundesliga havy weights: Bayern Munich, Leipzig, Mönchengladbach, Leverkusen. “You have to win those games, if you want to stay on top”, he says. “Yet you also have to take smaller teams seriously. Something like a 3-3 draw against Paderborn is fatal.”

Borussia Dortmund gave the players four weeks vacation. This Thursday the team will come back together well rested. The months during the corona crisis, the tough hygiene rules of the German Bundesliga, left a mark on Brandt. “It does something to you”, he confesses, “you don’t see many people. You see your family, perhaps a few friends. Otherwise: nobody. You are happy to be able to go out and have some freedoms again.” Now he can go out again – at least a bit.

#julianbrandt #julian brandt #bvb #BVB09 #borussiadortmund #borussia dortmund #Bundesliga #dfb #diemannschaft #German NT

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momo-de-avis · 4 years

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The life of the Infamous Banana Art work is honestly fucking hilarious because it’s an exact reflex of what happens when someone fucks with the art world and incites passionate responses both for and against it.

The art's initial price was at 120.000$, and has bid up to 150.000$. Two museums have so far acquired a banana each.

There are also 3 editions of the same work.

According to the gallery (Perrotin) representing Cattelan,

"Back then, Cattelan was thinking of a sculpture that was shaped like a banana," it reads. "Every time he traveled, he brought a banana with him and hung it in his hotel room to find inspiration. He made several models: first in resin, then in bronze and in painted bronze (before) finally coming back to the initial idea of a real banana."

(remember, this is the guy who made a fucking toilet out of 18-carat gold and it got fucking stolen).

Recently, a performance artist just straight up walked up to the wall, peeled the duct-tape, peeled the banana and ate it. He does not regret it, claims he was hungry (and, in fact, did not eat prior to this action, so he could experience maximum potassium enjoyment) and that the banana was, in fact, delicious.

after that, the banana had to be removed from Art Basel because people were going absolutely bonkers over it, and lines were so long and the space around it so crowded, security had to just remove the art work. This was all for a chance at a cool instagram photo.

And like, yall remember when the Berlin Dada group made an exhibition basically insulting the bourgeoisie, got roasted by the whole city, then did a second one, tripled the price of the tickets, and when people got there it was basically Hueselbeck saying “why the fuck did you idiots spend triple the money if you hated it so much”?

Or when Tristan Tzara, at the Cabaret Voltaire, along with Hugo Ball, made such a bonkers show that people (again, high-society folk) showed up with bags of rotten fruit---prepared beforehand, after having been there several times, since they had apparently developed a passion for just to going there again to feel angry---and started wrecking the shit out of Cabaret Voltaire, to the point where they destroyed figurines and props? And Tzara calling it “the final victory of Dada”?

Or like, this whole ‘the travelling banana was an inspiration for me’ just sounds a whole lot like when Jasper Johns heard someone say that famous art marchand Leo Castelli “could sell two beer cans if you had them” (or something to that effect), and Jasper Johns dead ass said “it’s on”, and the mad man actually did a bronze cast of two beer cans and Castelli actually sold them?

We can even go way back, to Manet. The moment Olympia was presented at the Salon, it was so infamously known across Paris, people flocked to it to see it in person, so much the Salon had an influx of attendees like it never had before. And the sole reason was to make fun of it lmao even fucking Courbet was there daily, pointing at laughing at ‘nakey girl staring right at me’.

Or like, when Kienholz displayed his walk-ins, in which one of them was a car with a teenage couple engaged in sex in the back seat, and the gallery had the audacity of forcing the artist to close the door and plant two body guards there not to shock the audience? And despite being outraged by this, people still went there en masse.

And I’m not even going back to the obvious influence here, papa Duchamp with his urinals, but I’ll say this: I don’t remember his name, but the dude who smashed one of Duchamp’s urinals and peed on the other is pretty on par with the guy who just ate the banana, albeit for different reasons (and, well, dude who peed in a Duchamp was arrested both times lmao).

Every single one of these instances, which caused so much outrage across the art world, appeared at a crossing point in history, somehow, and they are there for a conspicous objective: to bring out its own hypocrisy. And like papa Duchamp (who every single critic immediately establish a connection with), they are being assimilated, though faster than they were back in the day. The dude who peed on the urinal did so because he contests The Fountain being on a museum, defeating the art work’s initial purpose and proclaiming the first avant-garde’s movements ultimate failure. It should be noted that Duchamp signed 14 urinals and authenticated them as authentic reproductions (one of them smashed, another peed on lmao. Idk if the others are fully intact). And this dude with the banana is no different.

One article states something very interesting about Art Basel:

Mary Rozell, the global head of art collection at UBS Group, said the works she wanted were all snapped up. Pieces under US$1 million were going especially quickly.

"Half the stuff is sold before you get here," she said.

Amoako Boafo's portraits were all gone within seconds, and hundreds of collectors put their names on a waiting list, with prices for the artist du jour ranging from US$25,000 to US$50,000.

(...)

Mnuchin Gallery, which had an exhibition by Mr Clark last year, sold several smaller works, with prices ranging from US$150,000 to US$300,000. Michael McGinnis, a partner, said he sold one of the works during his flight to Miami. "I could have sold it five times," he said.

Ms Rozell said she finally managed to buy some art. One was a painting by Jeffrey Gibson. Another, a sculpture by Shinique Smith, whose works were on view at the UBS collectors' lounge at the fair.

"You've got to take your time," she said. "But then act quickly."

Act fast.

There’s a lot that could be said about this, and I’m not writing an essay, just rambling with the knowledge I have, and we all know how art fairs across the world serve as 1) a place to See and Be Seen, and the pruchase of expensive art works is a Thing of Status, and 2) it’s money laundering. It’s blind investment by random private auctioneers who need to put that dirty money fast onto an object they can quickly transform into an asset should they need to get rid of it---etc, etc. But like, think about the ludicrous implication here: you gotta buy fast, otherwise you’ll just get there and come out empty-handed, which for some reason, for these folks, it’s the worst that could happen. So like, it’s no wonder a guy who taped a banana onto a wall sold this shit for such a high price. I can’t point out the reason why this person bought the art work, because honestly being either money laundering or just rich person trying to invest fast into something they don’t know the value of---both sound incredibly plausible to me (in my country, there was an influx into the art market in the 80s, where people rushed to buy EVERYTHING, and it inflated the art market---and keep in mind, Portugal is a small country with barely any market at all---to the point where some of the artists who sold the most back then have fallen into oblivion, and the people who bought their works have been desperately trying to get rid of them for decades, but they are worth nothing and they refuse to get the full price back lmaooo).

This shit is mostly why I nurture a profound hatred for art fairs. Like, on paper, they’re a nice concept, but as of today, worldwide, we have over 500 art fairs everywhere, and couple this with the art market inflation and all the nasty shit we know about (take the fucking Sacklers, for example), it’s the perfect playground for us to have a French Salon multiplied by 500 where contemporary art is transformed into an Appearance Thing.

But every so often, a dude shows up and pulls some really bizarre shit and I am again reminded that there are still a lot of not exatctly Duchamps, but people like Jasper Johns or Tristan Tzara or even Robert Rauchenberg, which somehow manage to create a really poignant moment of hypocrisy. The really atrocious downside to this is that these artists exist in a fast-pacing scenario and they’re being assimilated at the speed of light. While neo-dada appeared in the 60s to confront the assimilation (thus, failure) of the first avant-garde movements, today it happens in real time.

This is where I tell you guys the banana was apparently sold with a 14-page manual, which states shit like:

It should be hung about 175 centimeters from the ground, fixed to the wall at a 37-degree angle and the banana should be changed, "depending on its aesthetic appearance", about every seven or 10 days. About the only specification omitted is the optimum length or bendiness of said banana.

(the bendiness of the banana lmao)

Also, funny correlation: Duchamp’s work was called The Fountain, but we all call it ‘the urinal’, in the same way this work is called The Comedian, but we call it ‘the banana’. Make with that information what you will lol

#momo speaks #commentary #comentario #just rambling about art #pls dont ask me for precise sources on some of these statements #i linked the direct quotes and stuff related to the art work in question to several articles #but the rest its just accumulated knowledge throughout years #they come from books and college classes and stuff I cant remember like papers and lectures #its v hard for me to know pin point exactly where i took this info from

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donnerpartyofone · 5 years

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i just got a whole bunch of new followers on letterboxd, and checking out who they all are really reminded me of why i don’t follow too many people on letterboxd. bad amateur writing is hard to enjoy even ironically, but there’s something about bad film writing that’s really harmful. i have hate-read so many of this one guy’s reviews that i feel embarrassed about it now. he describes himself as an “arthouse manager”, which i assume means he runs a theater, but it bothers me because nobody says “let’s go out to the arthouse tonight” without the word “theater” in there, it’s just unnatural and pretentious. so that’s red flag #1 right in his description, which is followed by red flag #2 about how he hates modern media, as if being a luddite or nostalgia freak automatically means you’re a sensitive genius. it’s probably worth mentioning a sub-red flag, which is that he also says he’s 27 years old, which has to mean that he either wants to be congratulated for being precocious somehow, or he thinks he’s going to get laid off this movie website where you can’t even post pictures of yourself, or both, i mean who fucking cares how old you are anyway, for what reason? then the first review is of DAYS OF BEING WILD, in which he describes Wong Kar-Wai as “seeking to understand what draws women to shitty, emotionally unavailable men”; i mean imagine being so full of shit that you project your own sullen incel-y “UGH WHY DO GIRLS ONLY LIKE BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH” garbage onto whatever revered works of art show up on your tv screen? this guy goes on to reveal himself in almost a strip tease fashion across many of his reviews, breaking up his pompous analyses with macho mindbenders like “i have often said that being horny is the point of life” and biographical information like about his manipulative alcoholic father. i’m not trying to say that everybody with a delinquent or dysfunctional parent is destined to have idiotic and serial killerish attitudes about intimacy, because that would condemn pretty much all of us. but, i am sadly familiar with solipsistic assholes who brandish their alleged intellectual superiority in one fist while beating the dust out of their childhood traumas with the other, and just seeing his smug letterboxd reviews tells me everything i need to know about him. hopefully he just followed me in a spammy way to get attention and will never interact, or maybe i’ll say something he finds politically disagreeable and he’ll go away.

honestly finding anybody worth following on letterboxd is kind of hard. it can be nice to read stuff by people who are just having fun and shooting straight about what they’re watching, but the site is filled with wannabe J Hobermans and Lester Bangses who are just out to prove that they own a thesaurus. they’re practically all dudes, you can smell the old spice and maker’s mark wafting out of your laptop fan when you read some of this chest-pounding nonsense. not all of them have such toxic things to say as the aforementioned douchebag, but there’s a real preponderance of users who seem to think they’re reinventing the language. the sad thing is when they really like MY writing. there’s this guy i follow who i think used to write fairly clearly, but now everything he posts looks like a burroughs cut-up with really avant garde ideas about punctuation and adjectives, and unfortunately, i think it’s on purpose. i’d unfollow him, but i feel like i can’t, because he is as nice as literally anyone has ever been about my writing. he goes so far as to give me a hard time about why i’m not a professional film critic, he’s like a ~fan~...and then i gotta ask myself, how much is my writing like HIS writing? this is where the difficulties of letterboxd start to feel worth while, in a masochistic kind of way. like, how often do i write in the same wanky bombastic fashion as these shitty little internet valedictorians who i hate so much? probably a lot! i don’t like feeling that way but i have to admit that i’m grateful for the opportunity to check myself, and possibly improve.

however good or bad i am, letterboxd is still a better place to write than tumblr. i mean tumblr is less than optimal for long form writing anyway, but it’s also a question of who the majority population is here. the other day i got a comment on a pretty old post i wrote about ANNIHILATION, a movie i found kind of smarmy and shallow. the commenter said that my points about the movie were good, BUT they would all be negated by the content of the novels on which the movie is based, and they wanted to know why i deliberately omitted this material from my analysis, as if this were a conspiracy to be unraveled. they actually asked me what the point of my post was, like what was my goal in writing only what i wrote and leaving all kinds of things out. basically. this person COULD NOT UNDERSTAND THE IDEA OF A MOVIE REVIEW. i answered them, because they had tried hard to be polite, that my movie review blog is just for movie reviews, in which i talk about what i think about movies i watch. i’m not pursuing everything related to certain intellectual properties, nor am i invested in the logic and content of Extended Universes of whatever individual movies i’m watching. i’m not mad at this person, who was asking an honest question, but i was completely dumbfounded by the question itself. i mean imagine being SO INVESTED in fandom as like a type of lifestyle that you don’t know what a movie review is anymore? like every piece of media is regarded as some sort of municipality, that belongs to a state, and is governed by certain people, and its characters are like Real People who are available for friendship, dating and more. no piece of media is just entertainment, or even an artistic statement anymore. for this person, watching a movie is something like studying civic infrastructure, except with more DIY alterations and more fetishizing of gay men. i keep trying to imagine reading three paragraphs about some middling hollywood movie that amounts to something like “i did not enjoy watching this film,” and just having no personal frame of reference AT ALL for what it means when somebody writes that down. like just not knowing what a movie review is at all, and asking the author to explain the meaning of the bizarre behavior of saying you thought some movie sucked.

why DOES anybody write about movies though? if i don’t find it normal or desirable to watch everything with an exclusive filter for who do you want to fuck and who do you want to see fucking each other, then what else am i getting at? surely i don’t see myself as a potential roger ebert or leonard maltin, especially considering the extremely limited number of celebrity film critics in the history of mankind. i’m also not Pro- the idea of sorting all movies according to some rigid standards of technical quality and deservingness, like anybody needs me to grade them after they’ve performed the nearly impossible-seeming task of even making one single movie to begin with. sometimes i stupidly start complaining about stupid responses to my writing that i get once in a while from the internet, and my shrink asks me, “what are you up to when you post this writing?” she always says i’m “up to something” when i seem to be following but willfully ignoring my subconscious drives, which i think is pretty funny. but i don’t think i’m pursuing feelings of superiority, over movies or other writers. i think i’m just trying to figure out what movies are trying to say about human existence--and they all are trying to say something, are motivated by some angst, even the really insulting ones that only offer up wish fulfillment pablum. i’m constantly trying and failing to figure out my own existence, and i must sense that attempting to decipher movies is one way of getting closer to decoding my own experiences.

and on that note, now i have to complain about the fact that Lyft’s driver rating system includes “fun conversation” as one of the four factors in giving someone five stars. i rarely want a stranger to try to force me to talk to them, especially at 4am when i’m headed to the airport under a miserable pile of luggage. even so, i recently got into a car in such a state, with a guy who was clearly going for that five star rating, babbling loudly and convulsively at me all the way to my terminal. it would be one thing if he were just trying to be nice, but he was giving me shit about everything from my pickup location to what i had done in his fair city for a week and a half. i did not immediately volunteer how many movies i had seen at the festival i attended, because i probably intuited that when he did make me tell him, he would inform me that he doesn’t need to watch movies, because “I WATCH *LIFE*, MAN!!!” the irony was that this guy clearly didn’t watch life at all; he didn’t even have the ability to discern that i didn’t want to talk, or that i didn’t want him to insult my favorite leisure activity, and that probably NOBODY wants to listen to him talk about his shitty generic blues rock band for half an hour before 5am. so that’s the one thing i can say for even the most obnoxious reviewer on letterboxd--that probably they are TRYING to hone the art of observation, a dying skill. probably they are TRYING to train themselves to be an active audience that engages thoughtfully with the movie instead of just hucking rotten tomatoes at the screen OR passively allowing it to wash over them. even if i often hate the results, at least some of these guys seem be making an effort.

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thefilmfatale · 5 years

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Always Be My Maybe and How to Ruin a Rom Com

There is an art to a good romantic comedy.

Let me preface this post with a confession: I am a rom com enthusiast. Go ahead, turn your nose up at me, you snobs! But I unabashedly love romantic comedies. Yes, I’m aware that the genre is much maligned for being painfully predictable and vapid, but it would surprise you how tough it actually is to produce a solid rom com that hits all the right notes.

You see, there’s a formula. Boy Meets Girl (yes, I’m being deliberately heteronormative for this example, put your pitchforks down). Girl plays hard to get. Boy persists and wins her over despite how much the lady doth protest too much. A conflict introduces tension and separation (”Gasp! This was all part of a bet?!”), throwing the relationship into jeopardy. Boy performs Grand Gesture™ to win back Girl’s heart. Girl forgives Boy and the two gallop into the sunset. Cue Third Eye Blind’s “Semi-Charmed Life” as the credits roll.

The formula works, but only if the filmmaker can trick the audience into believing that this on screen romance has real stakes. To do that, you have to have a script that at least pretends to explore an interesting relationship which, as it unfolds, gives the audience butterflies and makes them want to root for the star-crossed lovers. Without audience investment, you have no rom com.

To get the audience to invest, you need likeable leads who have great chemistry and just enough tangible sexual tension to create that air of “Will they or won’t they?” After all, no one ships a couple who are devoid of personality and lack chemistry. Most of this sexual tension is physical—in the way the actors interact with each other—but what can really help establish this is verbal, by way of witty repartee.

Think of some of the classic rom coms, like When Harry Met Sally. Why does it work? Sally is a Type A personality. Prim, proper, particular, and uptight. Harry is more laid back, casual, and candid— unafraid to tell it like it is. He’s also a bit of a troll who enjoys getting a rise out of someone. Throw the two on a road trip together and you have a recipe for romance (or disaster—however you want to look at it). As a viewer, you begin to root for them because we’re told that opposites attract and complement each other. Harry softens Sally’s rough edges, Sally helps Harry realize he needs some maturing.

And you all know the Big Gesture™. A New Year’s eve confession that inspired a thousand sappy rom-com speeches.

What makes When Harry Met Sally successful?

Harry and Sally are different enough from each other that there is enough sexual tension and push and pull to make their interactions interesting.

Each half of the couple has their own personality that feels authentic to their character. They have their own ambitions and goals. They also have traits and quirks that uniquely position them to attract each other.

The relationship does not seem guaranteed—the audience has to have a moment of doubt or uncertainty that makes them will the couple back together.

Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal have fantastic chemistry.

It seems pretty straightforward. Follow the formula, and you’ll be fine. In fact, it’s hard to screw up a good rom com if you just imagine unconventional ways to put two individually interesting but opposite enough people together then lean back and watch the sparks fly.

So all this to say that nothing could have prepared me for the soul-sucking awfulness of Always Be My Maybe, the Netflix flick starring comedian Ali Wong (know for her Baby Cobra Netflix special) and Fresh Off the Boat’s Randall Park.

The story follows Sasha Tran (Wong), a renowned chef and restauranteur, who rekindles a romance with her childhood best friend Marcus Kim (Park) when her marriage engagement suddenly falls through. Tran is portrayed as ambitious and driven, while Kim is unmotivated and immature, using his widowed father as a crutch to not follow his dreams. In its purest form (this summary), the gist of the story seems fine. Nothing to write home about (certainly not novel), but this is romantic comedy and the bar is more of a footstool so no one’s begrudging sticking to convention. But Always Be My Maybe takes that convention and, in true Asian fashion, approaches it with textbook diligence that just sapped the joy and life out of what should have been a fun, light-hearted romp. So much for subverting Asian stereotypes!

Now I’m a fan of Ali Wong and Randall Park’s, but this movie was so mind-numbing, it made me physically ill. Ali Wong? Hilarious! Randall Park? Extremely likable and has great comedic timing! Together you would think they would be dynamite. Fireworks! An explosive affair of epic proportions! And for those of us who’ve had a hankering for a rom com with Asian leads (and God knows we’ve waited a long fucking time—thank you, Crazy Rich Asians) we know about the demand for one.

Alas, what a disappointment. A telephone pole and I would have had more chemistry than Ali Wong and Randall Park. As much as it pains, I have to say that Always Be My Maybe just might be one of the worst romantic comedies I have ever watched.

Not only did this movie put two leads together who had zero chemistry—or at least enough sexual tension to help the audience suspend their disbelief that these aren't just actors—but the story unfolds in a fashion that actually makes the audience keenly aware of the formula. I know I said if you just follow the formula you can’t go wrong, but Jesus they didn’t have to make it so obvious! It’s like Fight Club, you know? The first rule of making a good rom com is YOU DO NOT MAKE THE AUDIENCE AWARE THAT THEY ARE WATCHING A ROM COM. I mean, at least try to approach it like it’s actually an interesting story about two people.

Instead, the movie followed story beats that seemed to exist for the sake of moving the story along instead of actually selling us on the relationship. The beats were so obvious that you can actually pinpoint where they begin and end because they were helpfully (and often unnecessarily) bookended by old school hip hop songs. Cue music! Here comes the conflict, the part where Boy and Girl rekindle their romance only to find that the years apart have made them different people. Boy judges Girl for being pretentious and obnoxious. Girl judges boy for being immature and unmotivated. A big fight ensues! Insults are hurled at each other that are so truthful they hurt! But it’s only a sign that they are meant to be with each other because they can trust each other to be this honest!

You know your movie is bad when your story beats are so obvious that they take the viewer out of the movie. You know your rom com is bad when Boy’s Big Gesture™ felt like a very clear When Harry Met Sally rip-off with dialogue that makes you want to get a lobotomy. There’s certainly nothing wrong with being referential or, even better, deliberately parodying romantic comedies. But Always Be My Maybe wasn’t really trying to be either. It was just stuck in this weird gray area of trying to be a romantic comedy and failing.

Always Be My Maybe’s biggest problem is in its turd of a script. It was so cringeworthy, filled with inauthentic lines and tired Asian jokes (the joke about Asians hating tipping was played out to the point of exasperation). Even their attempts to make fun of woke culture (which is an effort I wholly endorse) felt contrived and flat, which is such a bummer because that would have been a cool differentiator. Even the promising jabs at the pretentiousness of haute cuisine were awkwardly executed. Most of all, it didn't do its lead actors any favors, turning them into cartoonish cardboard cut-outs that were designed to follow the formula of a rom-com without putting in the work to earn the audience’s investment. Performance-wise, Wong did a passable job, but there were times when it felt like she was reciting a line that was clearly more apt for a comedy skit rather than a piece of dialogue that a character in a movie is saying. Park’s attempt at faux awkwardness, on the other hand, was excruciating to watch. Couldn’t he just be a dude in a rap band who happens to live with his dad? That's a decent enough back story. There really wasn’t a need to give him a personality quirk that seemed put on rather than authentic.

The film’s most promising moment was a Keanu Reeves cameo. And it’s only because Reeves was so game at poking fun of himself and the pretentiousness of celebrity that it worked. But just like the tired Asian jokes, at a certain point the humor was played out to the point where it became unwelcome. I also want to give credit to the film for portraying an Asian American upbringing that wasn’t the Fresh Off the Boat variety. While there isn't anything wrong with that portrayal, it’s also a treat to be able to see a different dimension of Asian culture, one that shows how typical and relatable it is to the average American’s upbringing. Premarital, promiscuous sex! Rap music! Being into pretentious food! Much as I hate to admit it, the whole “Asians—we’re just like you!” approach is kinda needed in film and television because it removes this layer of exoticization that can be restrictive to Asian characters.

While not tokenizing Asian characters is a positive, it still doesn’t make Always Be My Maybe a good movie. While I did watch it all the way to the end (despite my body’s vehement protests), it hurt my soul in ways I didn’t anticipate. How did they ruin this rom com? First, and most importantly, there was a shocking lack of individual character development. You don't get a sense of who these people are individually. Instead, they just seemed to be characters created for the sole purpose of putting them together and contrasting them enough to where they should have some sort of chemistry. But you can’t manufacture that. Each actor has to go through the work of making their characters likable. If I like the characters individually, I like them even better together! See how that 2+2 worked? But without dedicating the right amount of time and space in the story to showing their inner lives and what makes them tick, you’re setting them up for failure.

Second, and on a related note: there were no real stakes to the relationship. because setting up Sasha and Marcus to be together just seemed like a given from the get go. There didn’t seem to be any real jeopardy to their relationship, even once the conflict was introduced. The forced repartee between the characters came off like lines of dialogue instead of natural conversation, not to mention the very apparent lack of chemistry between Ali Wong and Randall Park. So much so that you didn’t really want to see them make out, let alone root for them to end up together. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you ruin a rom com.

If you, a friend, or family member just watched Always Be My Maybe and are experiencing similar symptoms of nausea and misanthropy, may I direct you to a Netflix original rom com that is actually good? Go check out Set It Up, if you haven’t already!

What did you think of Always Be My Maybe? Am I full of shit? Did you like it? What are some of your favorite romantic comedies? Sound off in the comments below!

#always be my maybe #movie reviews #Ali wong #Randall park

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miraculoussideblog · 5 years

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Ways To Forgive Chapter 8

Catch up with the first fic in the series Ways to Say I’m Sorry

Chapter [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][You are here]

[AO3]

Chapter 8-The Reunion

Nathaniel worked on character designs for his comic in his office. Adding the mother as the new villain went well with his editor, but he felt a little guilty using his future mother in law as the model. He changed her design slightly to distinguish the two, but anyone who knew him would know where he got the inspiration. He had a lot of explaining to do before the character debuts. He could see the headline now: “Future husband of Heiress Pokes Fun of the In-Laws.”

He checked his phone for messages from Chloe. Since he left her alone with the box last night, he’d been worried sick. But this was something she wanted to face on her own. She needed to understand the past to better her future relationship with her mother.

“Time for coffee,” Nathaniel shut his computer.

Chloe had a shift at the bakery at this time, however he doubted she’d actually be there. She called out yesterday, so it was likely some was covering for her again today. He had to go check, either way he wanted something sweet from the bakery.

He gathered his things and walked to the bakery. It was less busy in the afternoon. Marinette was assisting a customer when she spotted Nathaniel standing in line. She frowned for a half a second before, plastering back on her customer service face as she handed over a box of pastries.

Nathaniel stepped up to the counter. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine, just worried about Chloe,” Marinette signed. “This is the second day in the row she called out. Ever since her mom…”

“I know.”

“Bourgeois family drama, right?”

“Right,” Nathaniel chuckled weakly. Andre was right, it was his drama now. He’d have to get used to it.

“The usual?”

“Of course.” He fished out a few Euros and handed them to her.

Marinette started making his drink. “By the way, even though I’m insanely busy with the the relaunch, if Chloe wants me to design her wedding dress let me know.”

“We talked about that the other day. Sorry so much has happened.”

“No worries. To be honest I’ve been waiting for her to ask me for months. I just assumed she was too proud to ask.”

“Not it’s not that,” he said. “She knows things have been insane after the wedding. If we didn’t have the wedding budget, we might have asked for the favor.”

“I feel like there’s an insult in there somewhere.”

“No...I don’t think… what I’m trying to say is now that we can afford something without the massive discount you would have given us, we didn’t want to add anything to your plate.”

“It’s okay. Now that you can afford it I can charge you full price.” Marinette placed her hand on the counter and leaned in. “Truth be told, we need the publicity. Designing the dress for the wedding of the century would boost sales and get the company in the black.”

“Is it that bad?”

The bell on the front door jingled. Nathaniel glanced behind him the only customer in line was a man in a green tracksuit.

“I’ll be just a minute,” Marinette said.

“Take your time,” the man said in a thick Italian accent. He bent down an looked a the pastries displayed.

Marinette packed up Nathaniel's order and handed it to him. “As I was saying, it’s pretty bad. For starters the founder of the company was a supervillain who terrorized the city for nearly five year The marketing team thinks it will be hard to bounce back from, especially since we’re renaming the company Agreste’s. It’s like the name is tainted. Adrien wanted to keep the family name. He invested a lot of money into this rebranding because didn’t want his father’s employee’s to suffer. I won’t let it fail.”

“And you won’t. I’ll talk to Chloe once this thing with her mom blows over.”

“Thank you.”

Nathaniel took is coffee and pastries and walked out of the bakery. He didn’t plan on staying to work. He had an office for that now. The only times he sketched in the bakery was when Chloe was working.

Nathaniel nearly tripped on his shoelaces and a little coffee spilled on shit. “Crap.” He stopped to tie his shoe, out of the corner of his eye, the man in a green tracksuit stood close by looking in a shop window. He didn’t have a single pastry from the bakery. An eerie feeling washed over Nathaniel. He stood up and glanced over his shoulder again.

The man was gone.

Chloe placed two wine glasses on the coffee table. After her mother’s performance at the engagement party, maybe wine wasn’t a good idea. No, she was going to need a glass or two if she wanted to get through this conversation.

Audrey was already fifteen minutes late, Chloe was about to call her when she heard a knock at her door. Strange, she never heard the buzzer.

“Here we go,” Chloe muttered as she opened the door.

“I’ve been standing outside for five minutes waiting for your doorman to let me in.” Audrey stood in the doorway. She wore a white pantsuit, black hat and round dark sunglasses. The only color she had here her bright red lips. She dressed way too high fashion for a chat with her daughter in her small apartment.

“I don’t have a doorman.”

“Than who was the small man who opened the door for me.”

“Probably a neighbor?”

“Oh,” Audrey took off her sunglasses. “Are you going to let me in?”

“Of course. Have a seat.” She gestured to the couch.

Audrey’s face contorted into a mixture of disgust and confusion as she surveyed the apartment. For a half a second, Chloe felt embarrassed, but she quickly shut it down. Why would she be embarrassed about an apartment she pays for herself? That deep down urge to please her mother bubbled to the surface and she did not like it at all.

“Would you like something to drink?”

“I’ll have a vodka tonic on the rocks.”

“I have wine.”

“What year?”

Chloe grabbed the bottle off the counter and glanced at the label. “2017.”

“That will do,” Audrey said through her fake smile. Lord forbid the great Audrey Bourgeois drank a wine from this decade. Chloe poured he mother a glass and watched her mother take a sip of the cheap wine. “Thank you.” Audrey placed her glass on the table, clearly displeased.

Chloe took a big gulp of her own wine before starting. “So I got your cards. Daddy kept them in a box all these years. Thank you for the money.”

“Consider it an early wedding present.”

Chloe couldn't tell if she was being serious or not. Either way, she had to push on. “Listen, I’m not going to pretend that seeing those cards will magically fix whatever is broken between us. There are so many reasons why I shouldn’t give you a second chance. You insulted my fiance and embarrassed me in front of my friends, twice.” She paused to let it sink in for a moment before continuing. “But I can’t ignore the fact that Daddy kept you from me and that you in some strange way are trying to reconnect. All I can say is, if you are going to be around, this might be the only opportunity I have to really get to know you and decide for myself if I want you back in my life.”

Audrey smiled. “I’m glad you came around.”

“Where have you been, mom?”

“America mostly,” she started. “I worked with a few fashion magazines and build a reputations. I moved to Italy a five years ago and started my own magazine. Investors said I was crazy, because print was practically dead, but I didn’t listen. That little venture failed…” her voice trailed off. “After that I started traveling around Europe before I came back here.”

Chloe nodded politely. Audrey wouldn’t have accomplished so many things if she had stayed with Andre. It pained her to know her mother’s life was better without her.

“I would have taken you to America if I could,” Audrey said as if she read her mind.

“But you couldn’t be a fashion mogul with a toddler attached to your legs.” Chloe said. “Let’s not talk about the past.”

“All right, tell me about Nathaniel. What’s so special about him?”

“He was there for me when I was at my lowest. He saw the good in me when no one else would and helped me become the best version of myself. He’s a little shy, but so funny. And his art…” A smile formed on her lips. “He has a beautiful soul and when I think it’s impossible to love him more, he surprises me every day.”

“Wow.”

“I’m scared mom,” She confessed. “I know how to be a good wife.”

“You’re asking the wrong person, but I can tell from the few times we met that he loves you fiercely. I only wish I had a love like that in my life.”

“Did you ever love Daddy?”

“When we were young, yes, but people change. Sometimes the timing is wrong. He wanted to grow up and I didn’t. Some marriages just don’t workout.” Audrey took another sip of wine. “Chloe this is absolutely terrible.”

“It’s what I can afford right now.”

“What about the wedding money?”

Chloe tensed. She knew it was a matter of time before that topic came up. “The lawyers are keeping track of the receipts. Every dimes has to go to the ceremony.”

“Oh,” she frowned. “No matter. The wedding is soon enough. You’ll be back in the lap of luxury before you know it.”

“I like my apartment. It’s the first place I paid for with my own money. My lease will be up before the wedding, so I’ll have to figure that out eventually. Nathaniel and I haven’t really talked about where we’re living after the wedding. There are a lot of thing we haven’t talked about. I might be putting off school now, so I can pay for tuition with the inheritance.”

“School?”

“I’m didn’t finish university. I want to go back to get a degree in business.”

Audrey laughed. “You don’t need a degree to do business if you’re rich.”

“I do if I want to do well.”

“I guess you didn’t learn that lesson from your father.”

“Sabine actually. She became a pseudo-mentor when I was living with her and Tom. Why does she hate you?”

“That’s a story for another time,” Audrey checked her watch. “I should get going. I have a hair appointment in twenty minutes.”

“Okay, yeah.”

“I can see myself out.” Audrey walked to the door and opened it. “If you want to do this again, just call. I’m not going anywhere.”

Chloe slumped back down on the couch. Her first attempt to reconnect with her mother went better than she anticipated. It wasn’t perfect, but they weren’t trying to force anything. This could work. As long as there weren’t any more surprises.

But given Audrey’s track record, it was only a matter of time before she found a new way to disappoint Chloe.

#miracilous ladybug #ml fic #chlonath #chloe bourgeois #nathaniel kurtzberg #audrey bourgeois #miraculous #ml fanfiction

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orribuontheinternet · 6 years

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Depression and Drawing.

When I was a young lass (I want to say around 7-8 years old), I saw my biological father drawing something while he sat on the porch. The details are fuzzy, but I do remember it being an equine of some sort. He was working in ink. Watching him was so fascinating that I decided that I too wanted to be an artist. To be able to imagine something and put it to paper was a foreign concept to me, one that I was excited about. Oddly enough, my first ever drawing was of an intangible concept: an emotion. I forgot why little me was so knee-deep in sadness at the time, but I remember doodling a self-portrait of a sad, crying baby Olive while holding back my tears. Underneath (or around, I can't recall) was a caption that kind of stated the obvious: "Olivia is sad." When I think about that moment, I wonder if that was a form of foreshadowing since I suffer from...well, Major Depression. But we'll get back to that later. I think this drawing was spawned from a conflict with my siblings, but I can't rightly recall. I do, however, remember that someone tore the picture to pieces. Then came the waterworks.

I want to pause for a second and let you know that I'm going to try not to throw a pity party. I'm not going to whine and stuff this note with melodramatic hyperbole. If you can stomach an emotional artist digging deep into her head and making her introspection tangible, I encourage you to keep reading. If not, I respect your decision to stop.

To segue on to a brighter note, I started drawing in elementary school. I remember the exhilarating feeling of finishing my work. My proudest moment, aside from a (not) Sonic-themed powerpoint, was a storybook I made in fifth grade. It was a flip book of some sort, and very colorful. I think it had something to do with James and the Giant Peach considering it was a book report. But that was an impression I left. Olive, the artist. This carried on into middle school, where I first discovered anime thanks to an art teacher who had the magic VCR/TV cart we 90s kids remember fondly. He showed us Princess Mononoke, one of Hayao Miyazaki's well-renowned works. It was um...horrifying. The film scared the everloving shit out of me, but I was intrigued by it. There was something really cool about the way the people looked, far different from the Ms. Frizzles and Rugrats I came to know. It captivated me, and when I got over the stomach-churning blood and guts the movie presented, I strove to attain that cool aesthetic. I was always doodling during my classes and lunchtime and recess. People came to know me as that kid that draws. Some of them flocked to me and asked me to doodle something for them. It was annoying in hindsight, but at the time it brought me immense pride. People were interested in something I was doing! This development boosted my motivation; I drew picture after picture, happily sharing it with anyone who was interested. It was invigorating! Then high school happened, and I realized I wasn't as amazing as I initially thought I was. In 2006 I was accepted into the prestigious Philadelphia Highschool of Creative and Performing Arts (henceforth shortened to "CAPA," as to avoid the apparent mouthful of syllables). I attended with a major in visual arts, which I took alongside my core classes, i.e., math, science, and English. The first few months were humbling, to say the least. I took ceramics, graphic art, and observational drawing. During this year, I also discovered the magic (to a 15-year-old anyway) of Naruto. That was my biggest obsession since the Dragonball Z/Rurouni Kenshin/Outlaw Star/Big O/etcetera days. Where I used to make "Dark Sonic" characters and the like, I made a step towards creating a world of my own. Thus, after a painful defeat in an original character tournament, I decided it was time to start harnessing my writing and narrative skills, as well as my drawing skills. And so I strove to improve, even with those dents in my pride. It became something I was proud of, almost an obsession. I wanted to share it with the rest of the world, so I went for it.

(The first piece I’ve shared with the internet via deviantART.)

This is where my real artistic journey began. When I started, I had no idea of how mentally, physically, and emotionally tolling this would be. Half the time I've made things way more difficult than they've needed to be: sleepless nights, crouching over a desk, risky investments that granted little to no return and thus resulted in me digging myself into a deeper hole of debt, periods of psychological agony–I've experienced a great deal since I started creating these...things. In my naivety, I envisioned making money off of my creativity, having fun, meeting fans around the world, and hitting up cons like those really cool people I follow on the internet. I started comparing myself to more celebrated, experienced artists, to the point where I'd cry out of eye and earshot and wonder why I can't be as good as them. Why can't I be as skilled, or successful, I'd ask myself. This is when I should have realized that the Depression I suffer from has a voice. It'd tell me that I'd never amount to anything, let alone reach that level of expertise and fame. It was painfully merciless and cruel, and I was its punching bag. I'd start wondering what the point was and why I should even try to engage in this creative expression. Then, something tragic happened:

I realized I was falling out of love with it.

I didn't feel the same exhilaration I'd get when I finished something as simple as a little scribble. I didn't feel the warm burst of energy that I felt when I'd make a breakthrough. I desperately scrambled for something–anything–that would rekindle my love for creating again. Then, after some introspection, I decided that I wanted to try for animation. It had always fascinated me during my time in grade school, so I did some research and even wrote a thesis about animation and why it inspired me. To an extent, the passion I have for the arts did come back a little, but it was just a spark. When I started college, I was reluctantly proud of myself. I started dreaming big again, thinking about how amazing it would be if I could create my own animated series and bring my narratives to life. And so, the dreams of being able to support myself and my family returned to the forefront of my mind, again. While I hopped and skipped through my first year at uni, I built a lot of friendships I never thought I'd have after a painful summer season. I thought back to how I tried and failed to start an art team and decided to go for it again. And thus, after planning gatherings and messing around with my friends, Exploding Fairies was born!

(Old Exploding Fairies logo.)

The Depression and my wounded confidence, however, wouldn't allow for anything to go past casual hangouts and being a nuisance to my teammates. Everything boiled down to three things:

1) I was unwilling to relinquish control of any of the facets of the alliance and our stories. To me, the story we worked on was my baby, and only I would have a say in whatever developments occurred. 2) I lacked the leadership and communication skills to collaborate with my partners effectively. 3) Considering the nature of my requests, I SHOULD have been paying my partners as an incentive. I lacked the money to compensate them for their time and talent adequately. I could very well be painting myself in a horrible light considering how terribly influential my depression is to my self-esteem.

(The image above is by @cucoo.)

(Concept drawings of Dan’s actual identity.)

However, exposure and companionship don't necessarily pay the bills. Besides, I was still a "nobody on the internet!" I may as well have kicked sand in their faces. At least, that's what the disease told me. I grew bitter towards the world when Homestuck and a traumatizing anime gained the admiration of my friends. I became green with envy, wondering why my work didn't win such affection. That summer, I went into overdrive. I started an original character tournament of my own and gained a considerable following. I even found love again!

After a busy three months, I jumped into my second year of college. This is when I finally collapsed under the weight of my mental ailments. Week after week, I stressed almost hyperbolically to the point where a single mistake could mean the end of the world to me. I officially started as an animation student (the first year was mostly core studies with elective and liberal arts on the side), and I wanted to bring my A-game to the forefront. I was going to wow everyone with my knowledge of technology while I navigated through the hills and valleys of my second year. I got to take a course in digital 2D animation, the media I've had my eyes on since I started my college career. Everything just hinged on whether I could manage my workload (I took 18 credits). Apart from the building stress, financial troubles, and impaired health, everything seemed fine. That notion, however, was shattered when I lost my progress on a 2D animation assignment. It was all over. All of that hard work that I put in (without saving, no less) was destroyed by a corrupted file. I didn't have a backup file ready for such an occasion. Admittedly, it was my fault for letting my guard down. I should have known better as a geeky artist! To me, there was no way I could ever recover from that. I was an idiot and a crappy artist anyway! I was a failure! I was nothing! All of the horrible thoughts that my sickness cataloged was thrust into my conscious mind, impairing my ability to reason. Devastated and afraid, I called my crush and opened up about what happened. The pressure finally cracked me, and she had to talk me down from attempting suicide.

The turn of events affected everything, from my focus to my ability to complete my assignments. My crush advised me on what steps I should take while moving forward. I was hospitalized to prevent any harm I could bring to myself. I really DID want to escape from the unbearable pain my sick mind caused me. Eventually, I had to contact the dean of students and was referred to an affiliated therapist. After conversing with him and the dean, we all decided that it'd be best if I were committed to an outpatient program to start on the road to recovery. Fast forward to 2012 or 2013, when I completely lost faith in myself as an artist, and thus, my love for art. I didn't think it'd happen, but I hit what I conceived as rock bottom. I swore off drawing. It didn't bring me joy anymore, and why continue dabbling in something that I'd never be good at?

Unfortunately, the resulting slump turned out to be thicker than I'd imagine and I entered a state of deep depression. I rarely got out of bed, I overate and sometimes didn't eat at all, I never picked up a pencil or opened photoshop, never reached out to the people who I knew and who loved me...I was virtually dead to the world. Some good things happened that, in hindsight, I should have cherished. For starters, my crush became my girlfriend, and we lived together in an apartment in Center City. I was too smothered in the fog to show my appreciation and love for her adequately. She loved me and loved my work, which in turn brought back my passion for creating. If I couldn't financially support myself with my art, the least I could do is bring her joy and feed her imagination.

(We both love semi-horror and anime, so our roleplays took that direction.)

Sadly, thanks to the disease even something as precious as her happiness wasn't enough. When I look back, I can see the hurt in her eyes, but during the time I had such horrible tunnel vision and was so disappointed about things not working out with my art that I couldn't sense that. Me, a self-proclaimed empath! My desperate greed and envy were my downfall, and I limped my way down the artsy-fartsy road. I'd draw fan art and create fan comics, only to become bitter about either the lack of replies or patrons on Patreon or the perceived disregard for any personal ventures I took.

I did my first convention at Anime Impulse back in 2015, and after a pretty bad time in the artist alley, I swore off drawing again. I remember nights of staring blankly at the computer screen, smashing Command or Control +Z and ultimately throwing my stylus down, closing photoshop, and crying out of frustration. I remember pulling my hair and sobbing when I faced rejection. It was an incredibly painful time for me. That's not to say I still don't experience that now as I totally do, but something happened this year that strengthened my stride.

I posted something on Tumblr earlier this year about my frustration when it comes to creating art. It was specifically about how I get stuck in the "polishing" phase of building a webcomic page, but when I look back, I can actually attribute it to art in general. I became a "perfectionist." Nothing was impressive enough to finish or release, and I'd wind up with more works in progress than finished ones. My morale just kept dipping lower and lower, and finally, when picking up a webcomic project that I started more than a year ago, I vented my frustrations. To this, my crush, who became my fiancé some four years ago, replied with this:

"You polish because you’re not confident with your work because you're in an evolution phase. Fear holds you back. So you go back and edit. And edit. And edit. So stop the cycle. Kill the fear by not letting it have time to take hold."

Her words of encouragement and insight changed my perspective in ways I've never expected. It was almost like it triggered an epiphany or a breakthrough in my mind! I was reminded of her love and faith in me! With that came a ray of hope, that I could try again, and this time, throw my fear-induced caution to the wind! While my depression still has a voice and beats me down from time to time, I realize that it's just scared. I realized that when Brittany and I sat down and played through Celeste together. I related it to my sadness and anxiety surrounding art, and now I'm slowly getting back on my feet. I can't displace the blame and "use" my mental ailments as a scapegoat. I can't come up with excuses to give up on what I do. There is SOMETHING in creating visual media that breathes life into me.

(I started learning to let go.)

Looking towards the future, I hope I can look back on even these trying times and remind myself of where I was and how stronger I've become because of it. I'm still struggling with comparing myself to others and crashing into creative and motivational blocks, but someday I'll rise above it all. Besides, I should be doing it for me, right? The external validation should just be the topping on a sweet sundae.

That's why I keep drawing, in spite of the voice's apprehension. We're going to get through this together, I promise.

#personal #tw: sucide mention #art #mental health #depression

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douchebagbrainwaves · 4 years

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THE FOUNDER CONTROL

Applications for the current funding cycle closed on October 17, well after the markets tanked, and even so we got a record number, up 40% from the same cycle a year before. Viaweb's hackers were all extremely risk-averse. You could just go out and hire 8 people as soon as some big company, they were willing to move to another country to do it is to establish a rival to Silicon Valley to compete with. So saying startups should move to Silicon Valley to compete with. Should your valuation be? Are there walkable neighborhoods? And paying attention is more important to reliability than moving slowly. When you're drinking through a straw, you can tell them that number. Because it's a more legitimate-sounding way of saying that your idea is to make fun of it. And no one can tell you what language to use, at least, effectively donated the wealth they created. One of the most ad hoc parts of any system.

It seems reasonable to assume Bill Clinton has the best technology. The Defense Department is encouraging developers to use Java. When does it have to be profitable, raise more money. So on average such a hacker must be able to look at what you've done in the cold light of morning, and see all the different things people have said about good taste have generally been such nonsense. Once you've seen enough examples of specific types of tricks, you start to get higher. It probably extends to any kind of creative work.1 If companies started doing that, they'd find some surprises. The engineers build a reliable gadget with all kinds of new features; the industrial designers design a beautiful case for it; and then the marketing people are telling the designers, Most people who buy SUVs do it to seem manly, not to drive off-road.

Inexpensive processors have eaten the workstation market you rarely even hear the word now and are most of the money you need. Countries worried about their competitiveness are right to be concerned about the number of simultaneous users you can be lost or stolen. This connection adds more brittleness than strength, however: people don't watch what's on at 10 because that delivers viewers for local news at 11. If you found people who'd never seen an image of it and sent them to a museum in which it was hanging among other paintings with a tag labelling it as a practical suggestion, but more as an exploration of the lower bound of what it would take at least half a million. All humans find faces engaging—practically by definition: face recognition is in our DNA. Anything that gets you those 10,000 users. Whatever a committee decides tends to stay that way, you tend to get a work visa in the US own one.

Simula is an object. This is the type of abuse we may be able to tell investors something like: we can make it to ramen profitability before Demo Day. But a very able person who does care about money, or go out of business. This didn't merely make them less productive. In fact, what I like about this idea is all the different things people have said about good taste have generally been such nonsense. But since investor meetings have to be small? So whether or not a language has to have worked.

We also see signs of a separation between founders and investors, and they could not master it. I think TV companies will increasingly face direct ones. The average programmer seems to produce UI designs that are almost willfully bad. And though constraining, Don't be evil. But startups aren't tied to VC the way they make a living, it would create a self-sustaining chain reaction. Real standards don't have to send it to them from a local source. The reason is that employees no longer trust companies to deliver deferred rewards: why work to accumulate deferred rewards at a company that uses Web-based and desktop software is that you won't be able to sustain. In fact it's the old model: mainframe applications are all server-based applications. Modula: Pascal is too wimpy for systems programming. This essay is about only one of them.

They just can't do it, run out of money, and the customers would be individual people that you need to in which case you should give the same terms to investors who reject you are some of your warmest leads for future fundraising. Their instincts got them this far will now be working against them. The optimal solution is to talk to you about investing. Don't be evil.2 They may say they just want to meet to raise your next one, because the locations of mines and factories were determined by features like rivers, harbors, and sources of raw materials.3 If server-based applications will actually do backups—not only because they'll have real system administrators worrying about such things, but variable capture is exactly what Cezanne and Klee did. I claim hacking and painting are also related, in the sense of beating the system, not breaking into computers. Although YC is based on the idea of going on the medical equivalent of what lawyers call a fishing expedition, where you are. Surely at some point.

Don't worry about us. The first thing to understand about valuation is that you won't be able to say to investors We'll succeed no matter what, but raising money will help us do it faster. That's how Silicon Valley happened. But all art has to work on both will be browsing the Web, and it seems to consume all your attention. As I've written elsewhere, by using ourselves as guinea pigs.4 They were the kind of intelligence that produces ideas with just the right level of craziness. And when all the companies that won't use patents on startups. This turned out to be false, and I'm claiming you could be 36 times more productive than you're expected to be in a situation with a large percentage of school.5 And it would get easier over time, because the bigger your ambition, the longer it's going to take, and the customers would be individual people that you need to start small. Even if you could read the minds of the consumers, you'd find these factors were all blurred together. Of course, the test you use to measure performance must be a hacker's language, like the temporary buildings built at so many American universities during World War II and, for that matter, how much is due to the creators of past gadgets that gave the company a reputation for being valuation sensitive and can postpone dealing with them till last, but occasionally one you didn't know about will pop up early on.6 Disk crashes won't be a thing of the past, but users won't hear about them anymore.

The book should be thin, well-written, and full of good examples to learn from a farmer friend that many electrified fences don't have any current running through them.7 Actually, startup ideas are worthless. The stories about sleeping under desks usually end: then at last we shipped it and we all went home and slept for a week.8 That kind of switch often takes people by surprise. By the standards of the rest of the conversation depends on the first ten employees. Intros vary greatly in this respect, and a lot of protocols for doing things.9 You may save him from referring to variables in another package, but you don't have that feeling that your life is flying by like you do in the design of the program benefits from evolution. But getting bought is getting them to act. Use difficulty as a guide not just in some metaphorical way.10 When you own a beat-up old car.

Notes

In a country richer; if you want to impress are not mutually exclusive. What I dislike is editing done after the Physics in the chaos anyway. Which is precisely my point.

This sentence originally read GMail is painfully slow.

5%. I was surprised to find users to observe—e. We didn't try because they believe they have a competent startup lawyer handle the deal for the manager, which usually revealed more than half of the clumps of smart people are like, etc, and I had a day job, or it would not produce a viable organism. Founders are often unknowns.

And though they have because they believe they do. Don't invest so much worse than close supervision by someone else to lend to, but as a single VC investment that began with an excessively large share of a problem, if you're measuring usage you need to warn readers about, just try to establish a silicon valley out of a more powerful sororities at your school sucks, where it was very much better to read stories.

Which means it's all the returns come from meditating in an era of such high taxes during the Bubble a lot of investors. The tipping point for me, I can't refer a startup than it would literally take forever in the sense of getting too high a valuation. Founders weren't celebrated in the 70s never drew this curve.

We have no trouble getting hired by these companies unless your last funding round usually reflects some other contribution by the size of the scholar. And startups that has a similar logic, one variant of Reid Hoffman's principle that declarations except those of popular Web browsers, including the numbers we have to spend on trade goods to make money.

This form of religious wars or undergraduate textbooks so determinedly neutral that they're starting petitions to save the old car they had to ask, if an employer, I asked some founders who'd taken series A termsheet with a degree, to sell things to the company's expense by selling recordings. The banks now had to bounce back. What he meant, I suspect. Russell was still saying the same investor invests in successive rounds, except that no one on the order of 10,000 of each token, as far as such things can be done at a time.

They hoped they were getting results.

The best kind of people like Jessica is not pagerank commercialized. And in World War II was in a wide variety of situations, but there has to be self-interest explains much of the work that seems formidable from the other.

The examples in this respect. Fortuna!

Thanks to Jessica Livingston, Reid Hoffman, Trevor Blackwell, Steve Huffman, Sam Altman, and Rich Draves for their feedback on these thoughts.

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kennethherrerablog · 5 years

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We Found the 26 Best Ideas for Home-Based Businesses in 2019

You fantasize about ditching the daily commute and starting a business from the comfort of home.

The only problem with your entrepreneurial daydream? You don’t have any idea what kind of business to start, much less how to make it profitable.

No worries, we’re here to help.

You’re not alone in wanting to go it alone. Of the 30.2 million small businesses operating in the U.S., about half were home-based businesses, according to the most recent government numbers.

Whether you’re looking for a little side-hustle income or dream of quitting your current job and the daily commute for good, here’s your guide to home-based business ideas.

The 26 Best Home-Based Business Ideas

Choosing your business can start with something as simple as picking an activity you enjoy.

If your passion is travel, for instance, you could follow the path of stay-at-home mom Cheryl Cavalli, who told us how she started a home-based travel agent business.

However, if you don’t already have a passion you want to profit from — or you’d rather keep your hobbies and work separate — you can still start a successful home-based business on your own as a sole proprietor, or one-person business.

Pro Tip

A sole proprietorship doesn’t need to register with the state to exist (unlike corporations, partnerships and LLCs). However, you still must comply with registration, license, tax and permit laws.

Local social media groups like Nextdoor can be a source of ideas. There you’ll find everyday services that are in demand, although it may not be the most glamorous work.

Mundane chores make for good business because they’re tasks that many people are willing to pay someone else to do, whether it’s mowing lawns as a groundskeeper or setting up bounce houses as a kids’ party planner.

We’ve come up with a list of ideas that have relatively low barriers to entry and startup costs but offer real income potential.

Ready to start your journey toward self-employment in the comfort of your own home? Let’s get to work.

Businesses That Don’t Require You to Leave Your Home

Online businesses let you make money with little need to leave the house. You may need a personal website where potential customers can find you, although you can also find work for your specific skills through sites like Upwork and Fiverr.

1. Freelance Writing

Use your wordsmithing skills to quit your day job and start a freelance writing business. We have advice for how to pitch a story if you’re looking for your first byline.

To make writing your full-time business, you’ll benefit from expanding your repertoire to incorporate multiple types of writing (adding editing skills also increases your value). Here are just a few options:

Creative writing. Share your literary talents by submitting to these seven literary magazines that pay for short stories and poetry.

Technical writing. Who doesn’t love a well-written instruction manual? Although technical writing might not offer as many creative options, the median pay as of 2017 was $34.10 an hour.

Resume writing. Use your writing prowess to help other people get jobs. Charmaine Pocek told The Penny Hoarder she earned $30 to $800 on Fiverr as a freelance writer creating resumes and cover letters as well as optimizing clients’ LinkedIn profiles. Pocek has made $2.4 million from work she’s found on the site over the past six years, according to Abby Forman, a Fiverr spokeswoman.

2. Virtual Assistant

Administrative assistants typically answer to a boss, but start your own business, and you’ll be calling the shots.

Virtual assistants perform similar tasks to in-person assistants, but you can offer your services to one or multiple companies. You might be doing data entry one day and proofing articles on WordPress another, so be prepared for a variety of tasks.

Danielle Greason wrote in this post that she made up to $60 per hour as a virtual assistant after she and her husband moved to Costa Rica.

3. Bookkeeper

Life makes more sense in spreadsheets. If this statement sounds like something you’d say, a bookkeeping business could be in your future.

Rather than targeting a big business account, start by focusing on small businesses that need help managing their finances. You don’t need to be a CPA to start, but decent computer and customer service skills help.

Ben Robinson, who teaches others to become virtual bookkeepers, told The Penny Hoarder that you can earn up to $60 an hour as bookkeeper.

4. Tutor

Enjoy all the fun of teaching without leaving home.

An online tutoring business lets you offer your expertise, whether it’s teaching math and English to elementary kids or prepping high school students for the SAT.

These 10 online tutoring companies are a good place to start. Promote your expertise in a subject or grade level in your bio — teaching certifications will also add to your credibility (and bottom line).

Pro Tip

Most online tutoring platforms require instructors to either have or be working toward a bachelor’s degree, and previous teaching experience is preferred. Check the requirements before you apply.

Spelling ace Cole Shafer-Ray went the solo route and started his own online business by creating a website where he posted tips for competing in the Scripps National Spelling Bee (he was the 2015 runner-up). The then-17-year-old told us he earned $100 an hour tutoring kids who want to compete.

5. Affiliate Marketer

If you have a website or blog that already gets traffic, affiliate marketing should be part of your business plan.

The basic concept: You can make money by including affiliate links to products you recommend on your site. When your readers click on the link and buy the product, you receive a commission from the company.

The Penny Hoarder’s Branded Content Editor Dana Sitar suggests checking out affiliate marketplaces to connect with brands who’ll pay you to promote their products and services. Among the many marketplaces is ClickBank, which says on its website that commissions range from 1% to 75%.

6. Social Media Consultant

Got a knack for words and a knowledge of the latest trends in social media? Consider becoming a social media consultant. Only three out of five small businesses reported they use social media marketing to reach customers, which translates to plenty of opportunities for you to pitch your services to local businesses.

Most small businesses don’t have the budget for a full-time media consultant, but they want a presence on social media to attract and engage customers. Sell your social savvy — and expertise with publishing software — to local businesses by writing blog posts. You can grow your portfolio and your business.

The Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) lumps social media consultants into the general category of public relations, listing a median pay rate of $28.85 an hour.

Focusing your business on one area, at least early on, can help build your expertise. Research the local online business landscape to discover where the need is, whether it’s helping establish social media accounts for local businesses, contracting for a specific number of posts per week or setting your sights on a specific industry (restaurants, for instance).

7. Web Developer

If you can balance aesthetically pleasing and user friendly, your next business could be as a web developer.

Technically, there are differences between web designers and developers, with designers tending toward the visual aspect while developers focusing on the coding. The BLS, which doesn’t differentiate between the two, states the median pay is $33.38 an hour.

Even if businesses in your area don’t have a big budget for complicated web sites, they may need a simple landing page. If you have the basic web design and coding skills, you can start small and expand your business based on referrals and your portfolio.

Kelly Vaughn taught herself to code as a kid and ended up quitting her job to become a full-time web developer — she earned $137,000 in her first year.

8. Graphic Design

Unleash your creativity — and use your art degree — to create a graphic design business.

Whether it’s designing logos or layouts, you’ll need to invest in the proper equipment and programs to give your designs a professional look. But you’ll at least be able to find colleagues to consult — in 2016, about 1 in 5 graphic designers were self-employed, according to the BLS.

Prospective clients will want to see past design work to determine if you’re a good fit, so a portfolio is essential. You can find free places to post your work at sites like Coroflot and Carbonmade.

If you’re just getting started, add to your portfolio by volunteering to create brochures and programs for nonprofits like your church or kids’ school.

Once you’re established, you’ll be able to set hourly or per-project rates. Graphic designer Miranda Marquit told us that a common hourly rate for freelance graphic design work is $75 to $150.

Work at Home… and Beyond

Sure, you enjoy working from home, but sometimes you miss human interaction. No worries — there are plenty of options that let you run your business from your couch but also allow you to escape the confines of home.

9. Local Tour Guide

Do you love showing off your city? Make it your business by becoming a local tour guide.

And you don’t have to limit yourself to museums and monuments — although that’s an option, too.

Brendan Smith told us he makes $10,000 a year with his side gig leading craft coffee tours around St. Petersburg, Florida, while Greg Stanek leads bike tours to check out the many murals around the city.

If you already have a passion for arts, food or other features that make your town special, you can start by offering free tours to friends, as Smith did, then expand your reach by promoting your tours on social media and through your local tourism office.

10. Cleaning

Cleaning other people’s places may not be everyone’s dream job, but that’s what increases its potential as a profitable business.

Housekeeping is one option, but if you’re willing to get your hands a little (or a lot) dirty, your services can be invaluable to clients who want you to clean out decades of accumulated trash in their basements, attics and barns.

Pro Tip

Make your business stand out by including your personal story. Share how you got started and why you love what you do to connect with customers looking for a reason to choose you over the competition.

Alex Broches overcame depression and previous failed business attempts, turning one one junk removal gig into a full-time job. He now makes up to $30,000 a month hauling away other people’s trash.

11. Personal Chef

Your dinner parties are always a hit, and people form a line for your bake sale contributions.

Bank on your culinary prowess with a personal chef or catering business.

You don’t need a culinary degree to start plating, but a few referrals could help fire up your business.

Offer to cook for the school fundraiser or church picnic, and be sure to display your business cards at the serving stations.

Catherine Nissen told The Penny Hoarder that she charged up to $65 per plate as a personal chef hosting dinner parties in her Washington, D.C. home. She suggested one way to attract customers is to post professional-looking photos of your mouth-watering dishes on your website — and leave room for lots of (positive) reviews.

12. Photography

Let your photography skills help you take a shot at starting a business.

Besides taking photos of babies, parties and weddings, you can work from home by selling your work to stock photo sites like Shutterstock or iStockPhoto.

Stock photographer Eliza Snow told The Penny Hoarder that making $1 off a photo may not sound like much, but when these sites tout hundreds of downloads of the same photo, the money can start to add up.

13. Home Staging

Live out your HGTV dream.

Homeowners hoping to get the highest price need to make their humble abode look its best. And that’s where you, the home stager, come in to rearrange the furniture, hide the million toys in a storage unit and replace all those framed cat photos with tasteful art.

Think you have what it takes?

Kristy Anderson told The Penny Hoarder that after years of dabbling in decorating, she started her home staging business with a $3,000 investment and built her client base by doing the following:

Using Google Adwords for online advertising.

Asking for word-of-mouth referrals.

Creating a social media presence.

Networking with local homebuilders and realtors.

Her hard work paid off. In its first year, Anderson’s company brought in $180,000 in revenue.

14. Babysitter

Love kids? Love having kids running around your home?

If your home is prepared for the rough-and-tumble world of children, babysitting in your home is a good way to get around the whole “nanny tax” thing (that’s where the parents have to pay you as a domestic employee because you’re working in their home).

Each state has its own regulations about what age and how many kids you can watch at one time before becoming a daycare, so check out your state’s rules before you start. Learning a few basics — like CPR and first aid — can also help you demand a higher rate.

How much you can make varies based on how many kids and your location, among other factors. The Care.com calculator suggests the rate for babysitting one child in San Francisco, California, is $21 per hour.

15. Musician

Let’s start with the assumption that you aren’t a rock star musician prepared to tour the world.

That doesn’t mean you can’t be in the music business. In fact, we have 25 ways to make money off your music here.

16. Personal Trainer

Turn your love of fitness into cash by becoming a personal trainer who works from your own home studio or by travelling to clients’ houses. Increase your credibility (and pay) by getting certified by a nationally accredited organization like the American Council on Exercise (ACE) or National Academy of Sports Medicine (NASM).

Expect the business of personal training to be more of a marathon than a sprint. Accreditation training can take weeks and cost hundreds of dollars, along with liability insurance, and you’ll have to maintain your certification with continuing education.

The BLS says the median pay for fitness trainers and instructors is $18.85 per hour, but pay can vary widely depending on your location and specialization — IDEA Health and Fitness Association notes the average rate for personal trainers in New York CIty is $32 an hour.

17. Massage Therapist

Work with your hands… and arms… and elbows… as you massage away clients’ muscles.

Starting a massage therapy business requires more than one of those cool tables and a towel — although you should definitely expect to do a lot of laundry (all the sheets, you know).

Before flexing those fingers, you’ll need schooling and licensure — check here for your state’s massage therapy licensing requirements.

According the latest numbers from the BLS, employment in massage therapy is projected to grow 26% from 2016 to 2026, with a 2017 median pay rate of $19.23 per hour.

Home Business Ideas for Selling Stuff

No, these aren’t the dreaded cold-calling telephone sales jobs — instead you’re selling your own stuff or other people’s stuff through third-party sites.

18. Amazon Seller

Considering it seems like you can buy nearly anything on Amazon, it makes sense that you should be able to sell almost anything on Amazon, right? The Penny Hoarder found 12 ways to make money on Amazon.

If you want to do more than sell your old stuff, you have plenty of options for selling on Amazon:

Private-label products: Generic products you resell with your own packaging and logo.

Retail arbitrage: Items you purchased elsewhere — like clearance items or Craigslist freebies — that you sell on Amazon for a higher price.

Fulfillment by Amazon: Items you purchase for resale are shipped directly to Amazon, which stores the inventory in its warehouse.

Wondering which option will be the most profitable business for you? Estimate your revenue with this Amazon calculator.

19. eBay Seller

Use your eye for fashion to resell thrift store finds at a profit as an eBay seller.

To get started, check out eBay’s listings for similar items to determine the demand for your product and a pricing strategy. How you price your item affects how it shows up in a search — the lower the price, the more eyes, but setting a higher minimum guarantees a greater return on investment if the item sells.

Pro Tip

Good reviews are essential for any online seller. Invest in thank-you cards to include with each order to remind your customers to add their feedback to your site.

Attract more buyers (and higher prices) by using good lighting and a professional presentation in photos of your product. Kat Tretina wrote about how she started out making $45 off a pair of designer jeans she found at a thrift store. She ended up regularly earning $500 to $800 a month in profit for 10 to 15 hours of work per week.

20. Etsy Marketer

Crafting a business from your love of, well, crafting, doesn’t mean you need to drag your wares to a table at the farmer’s market every Saturday. Setting up shop with the online marketplace Etsy allows you to sell your custom jewelry, refinished furniture and custom gift baskets without leaving your home.

As experienced sellers will tell you, a big part of being a success on Etsy is re-creating the experience for a buyer who is used to handling the merchandise.

Instead of discovering your handmade jewelry or macrame plant holders through a tactile experience, buyers are looking at your photos and descriptions on your Etsy store to decide whether to buy. High-quality photos and in-depth descriptions are essential for attracting customers, as is sharing your personal story.

Beth Gates told The Penny Hoarder that she made $400 on Etsy in her first six months selling Southern-style sundries and crochet items, then decided to work on improving her site. Within three years, she was making more than $4,000 a year.

21. Sewing

Sew you want to start a business (sorry, couldn’t help myself).

Turning your threads into a profitable business can start with adjusting hems and making alterations for family and friends, but there are plenty of other ways to use your needle and thread to follow your passion.

Deisha Strater told us that she found enough work to make a side gig by sewing cosplay costumes. She charges $300 or more per costume, depending on the level of detail.

22. Airbnb Host

If you ever dreamed of owning a bed and breakfast, but never quite got your hands on that country estate, you can still channel your inner hostess by transforming a guest room (or your home) into Airbnb accommodations.

Instead of selling physical merchandise, you’ll be selling your space, but you’ll still need those same marketing skills to make your Airbnb attractive to potential guests. Think: inviting photos and a well-organized space that will garner great reviews from previous guests. Here are nine more tips from an Airbnb superhost.

Figure your potential earnings with this Airbnb calculator.

(Hosting laws vary from city to city. Please understand the rules and regulations applicable to your city and listing.)

Home-Based Businesses That Let You Work Outdoors

There’s no need to limit your home business to the confines of your house. Here are some ideas for operating a home business while enjoying some fresh air.

23. Pet Sitter

Prefer your clients to be the four-legged variety? Starting a dog walking business could be an easy way to start a profitable business in your own neighborhood.

Connect with fur babies and their parents through apps like Rover to build up a client base. There, you can add your profile and let owners see your experience.

Diana Sanchez told The Penny Hoarder that she made just under $10,000 in 2018 between her part-time dog walking gig and pet-sitting business.

24. Small-Scale Farming

Got a backyard with some room to breed?

Tim and Chelsea Clarkson started raising four chickens in the backyard of their home. Now, they’re living on a six-acre farm raising 900 chickens and 400 Grimaud Pekin ducks.

Pro Tip

Regulations vary for raising livestock, which is considered any domesticated animal that’s raised to produce labor and/or commodities. Visit your state’s Department of Agriculture website for details.

If a full-size farm is a bit beyond your reach, you could go the (much) smaller animal route and install a beehive. Turn it into a business by selling your tenants’ honey at the local farmer’s market.

Yes, there’s the setup costs and licensing required after you buy the bees to factor in. But considering the high price local honey can demand, beekeeper Chris Anderson told us that he could have broken even his first season raising bees by selling the sweet stuff.

25. Seasonal Operator

Maybe you’re more of a fairweather businessperson. Or rather, a fair-weather businessperson. (Hyphens matter!)

Seasonal businesses offer you the chance to operate when you prefer to be outdoors — think shoveling snow during the winter or hauling beach gear during the summer.

And if the holiday season offers more free time for a business venture, think Christmas lights.

Light installers make the majority of their money hanging those twinkling lights during the holiday season, according to Joshua Trees, who travels the country teaching people how to properly hang lights. By his third year in business, Trees said he made $138,000.

26. Garden Consultant

You’ve probably heard of business consultants, who bring their decades of knowledge to advise a company on whatever their issue is. You might not be a CEO, but if you’ve had years of growing gardens, you could turn your planting know how into a garden consulting business.

Home gardening is, ahem, growing in popularity as 77% of American households says they are gardening, according to a 2018 National Gardening Survey.

But although people may dream of growing their food, most backyard gardens end up a little on the sad side, if alive at all. Your knowledge of soil acidity, fertilizer composition and sunlight needs — plus a willingness to dig around in the dirt — could pay off as a garden consultant.

Stephanie Spicer’s green thumb paid off for her — she made $1,200 in one year by growing seedlings in her parents’ backyard and selling them out of the garage.

Consider these ideas the jumping off point for your home business. Slso know that starting a business requires more than just a good idea, so you’ll first want to check out our step-by-step guide to starting a business.

And no matter how tough the business world might be, isn’t it easier weathering the ups and downs in the comfort of your own home?

What a great idea.

Tiffany Wendeln Connors is a staff writer at The Penny Hoarder. Read her bio and other work here, then say hi to her on Twitter @TiffanyWendeln.

This was originally published on The Penny Hoarder, which helps millions of readers worldwide earn and save money by sharing unique job opportunities, personal stories, freebies and more. The Inc. 5000 ranked The Penny Hoarder as the fastest-growing private media company in the U.S. in 2017.

We Found the 26 Best Ideas for Home-Based Businesses in 2019 published first on https://justinbetreviews.tumblr.com/

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