#it was 1 am when i did that. it stays. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

masterwords · 1 year

Text

What's my worst quality? || 2x15 - Revelations

What if we don't want a new Unit Chief? || 3x02 - In Name and Blood

#aaron hotchner #derek morgan #hotchgan #criminal minds #hotch and morgan being petty volume 1 #aka the best continuity that the writers ever had was when these two wanted to really get under each other's skin #and i thank them for it #bless #there is something so soft about the way that derek says “you can be” and “sometimes” like he's not as willing to gut hotch as jj and emily #and hotch just wads it up and sticks it in his lil pocket and throws it back at derek when he's getting ready to leave the bau #and when derek claps back by saying #look man #are you a pain in my ass? YES SIR #PEAK HOTCHGAN #i am very normal and i am doing great today why do you ask?#and no i do not give a rat's behind about the rated tv-14 nonsense i did these screencaps at 1am and it stays as a marker of my madness

243 notes · View notes

astrxealis · 4 months

Text

dear gods i adore horror tbh but i am way too sensitive to it

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#idk how to describe 'sensitive' rn i'm dying in the head i should be asleep but Man!!!!!#i search up tons of horror stuff for funsies. movies uhh creepypastas stories real life events etc. fun!#BUT it freaks me out wayyy too much. bcs i really don't deal well w Those feelings of paranoia.#my imagination too good i was scared at night going to sleep bcs i'd imagine what to do if an intruder came in from the bedroom door #or bathroom door and think of how i'd escape Death.........#Did Not Help my area before was kinda yk. chillax. chillax meaning grassy tree-sy backyard overgrown trees #old-ish in a filipino chill neighborhood that isn't very fancy ?????? idk.#and the fact one time my dad almost died and someone standing close to him Did die so. haha. traumatized from that.#I WASN'T THERE..... but i rmbr my dad coming home and the news absolutely terrified me. anyway!#wow... rambling on tumblr at 3 and a half am... Nostalgic.#anyway yeah i love love love horror stuff but i am !!! so bad w them !!! like jesus christ i adore resident evil and bloodborne #is my whole bloodline. or something. but i can't even watch my twin kill 1 zombie in a re game Demo (she can't do it either)#and i can only make it to killing the first monster in bloodborne and explore a tiny bit where there are still no enemies. god.#AAAGGGGHHHhhhh ... and the first point of horror in omori then i stop playing for months...... even tho i rlly wna play more :((#2024 ........ cmon... i will try to overcome my fears more.#i've improved somewhat at least! ...from when i was younger. like. man. i could never stay in night-time in games ever.#ffxv? nah i always have to travel at morning. only when i got strong enough that daemons were nothing to me did i stop #getting scared. ouuughhh... and i always try to be stealthy in games........... for many reasons ofc but 1. Scared #okay i shut up now. apollo rambles of tonight: done and over!

10 notes · View notes

lingeringscars · 8 days

Text

I dont actually have tiktok but my friends send me tiktoks of things that remind them of me or their chars or our dynamics and I watch every one!

#this post is coming after inaya sent me something about their char but like #allie i see u #my roommate does this too #it makes me 🥰🥰#i feel like there are other people but like point being if u ever send something about your chars or our chars or you as a person #you are not annoying i am :'D at the other end of my phone #i quite frequently send people things that remind me of them in some way fjdkdks its a love language?#ooc.#tbd.#anyway weird vibes today been trying to study all day but that's what happens when you stay up til 8am finishing a paper 🫣#my brain said u will not be able to focus 1 bit and like fair brain i did u dirty

4 notes · View notes

wowitsverycool · 1 year

Text

sometimes i really vibe with disco elysiums brief moments of quiet apathetic misery that are distinctly intimate in the way they cradle you with melancholy’s ice cold hands. you almost want to savor the despair, pull it over you and be consumed by that awful, beautiful feeling of hopelessness. regret can taste so good. it’s a place other than the future, past, or present -- a realm of its own. time moves on, always ticking, travelling down one road forever, but here there is only sinking. to the depths of water you fall, the sound of rushing water so hypnotic and suffocating. a sensation in the back of your neck, the relaxing weight of resignation. as you’re anchored to the bottom, your mind detaches and floats to the surface. fine. you don’t need that here anyway. you don’t think, you only suffer. all that awaits you here is suffering. isnt it wonderful that you can predict everything here perfectly? there are no variables, just a buzzing in your chest aided by your concrete-filled lungs. it’s like they’re glowing. you once swam through your thoughts, but now you sink like a rock. she floats above it all, of course she does. she peers into the water and her reflection fragments in the waves. she can’t even see you. she would look away anyway. oh, beautiful, beautiful suffering, never leave me. all i have left is what you take from me.

that’s what it feels like to me anyway lol haha!!

#'omg harrier du bois is just like me fr'#<- words of a well adjusted happy person who doesn't have issues they need to work through #im having such a normal fucking time right now you don't even know #its 1:29 am right now i probably just need to sleep #the shivering i get when i stay up later affects my thought process a little i've noticed #'wow.. i feel like im floating through water rn.. thats so deep..' youre literally just tired and kind of dehydrated go to bed #or a vampire just bit you #but given how interesting your life usually is #its probably the former #disco elysium #why am i tagging this? because i thrive off regret did you not read the post

63 notes · View notes

bossladytae · 1 month

Text

~

#will delete later;#i had to lol when one of my old meta posts popped up in my activity feed #it was one on oboro and shouyou/utsuro #i can't remember my thoughts at the time to where i was thinking 'what the heck is all this' while rereading my own meta lol #it's been so long since i indulged in writing meta posts #i don't write or read them anymore for two reasons:#1) i'm not in the mindset anymore to where i used to recall every single detail and could find things again quickly #and 2) long-time gintama fans have Been There Done That with everything including meta #all the 'am i the only one' type of posts -- no you aren't; i guarantee it's been thought of and expressed before #even the same old 'arguments' about how certain gintaladies' characters aren't 'relevant' will pop up in new form #all i intend to do is enjoy gintama for as long as i can #i've paid my dues and made my contributions; i'm more into writing fanfic or supporting/commissioning fanart for gintama these days #i will always love gintama even if the intensity of those feelings has changed since the ending #i don't regret loving this series for 18 years and counting #i'm sure some of my other meta posts are still kicking about or still on private #if i can remember half of what i was thinking when i wrote some of them i'll be glad lol #it's fine for newer fans to continue analyzing; it was fun when we did it too #but i will stay retired

2 notes · View notes

todayisafridaynight · 11 months

Note

I've never stepped into a hot topic in my life because- #indoterlalukonservatis ngl I wanna see what it's like 🚶‍♂️

i aint the slightest clue what that hashtag says BUT if you go into a hot topic nowadays its pretty chill honestly, it's really not that bad and you'll more often than not find anime and videogame merch

#snap chats #idk maybe im just desensitized #when i was younger i was scared of hot topic and spencer though LMAO #my eldest sis would Very Rarely take me to the mall and then we'd go to hot topic #i would also stay close to her cause i was scared but like. now that im an adult #1.) i go there when i can ☠️☠️ 2.) you will meet the nicest people in hot topics and skate shops and spencer's #maybe its just because theyre working customer service so Respectable but i always end up chatting with them #spencers scares me as a store though. thats just because im a dumb straight edge who hates drugs #and there is drug paraphernalia EVERYWHERE !!!!#you'd think i'd fall in line with my sisters in smoking weed at some point since- esp my eldest- they'd smoked while i was growing up #but no.... ive always hated the smell and the thought of it's just. No Thank You :] idc if other people do it just not around me please #oh yeah theres also sex stuff. 'sex stuff' what am i FIVE #just very much not my speed.. yk... the whole... sex repulsion thing i got going on...#i did get my snake ear cuff from there tho so. maybe im growing up <- i still hate spencers #back to hot topic though im pissed they used to have such a cool logo but now it's that minimalist shit #BRING BACK THAT SLIPKNOT-LOOKING-ASS FONT IT WAS SO COOL

9 notes · View notes

martsonmars · 1 year

Text

desperately trying not to have a panic attack about university hehehe

#literally the only thing i'm supposed to do is study #am i doing it? nope of course. i have less than a month left to take exams and i should take at least 2 but i haven't opened a book in more #than a month and the thought fills me with dread and i literally physically cannot do it #it's possible that going back to my uni flat would help (it would be a change in scenery for sure) but on wednesday it will be a year since #my father died and there's this fucking church thing and my mother won't force me to stay but i really should. shouldn't i?#after all it's already saturday and i've already wasted 40 days. what's half a week more?#i keep staring at the list of exams and i know that if i spent every waking second studying i could get back on track and graduate when i'm #supposed to graduate but 1. it's not healthy and 2. my brain refuses to study for ONE exam let alone 14 so it's unrealistic #and at this point i should just accept that i'm going to graduate one year late and one year after all my friends because last year i did #absolutely nothing. and last autumn started out great. i moved. i was organised. and then the first week of october my mother was at the #hospital and i had to go home for a week and somehow i let that week screw up my entire semester #and now i'm panicking because i have only 18 days before the exam i'm supposed to take and it doesn't feel enough for everything i have to #study but it's not going to get better if i just let all the days pass without doing anything but i can't i can't i can't #so yeah i should be kind to myself and accept i'll need one additional year for all the exams and take it slowly which is the only way to #actually get things done. but i don't want to. i don't want to tell my mother that i failed at the one thing i'm supposed to be doing #but i really really can't it's hard and i'm failing and my head is screaming that i don't deserve hobbies and yet i keep wasting my days #it's one am and i should either sleep or relax because it's not like i can do anything now and yet i feel like i need to fix my entire life #right this second or i'll explode. i'm so tired of my thoughts.#please ignore all this ^ because i know most of it is irrational or whatever and i DON'T WANT to hear rational things #if you've read until here and really want to say something just tell me that right now i'm allowed to relax #any other comment would make me feel worse #💖💖💖#**one month left to take exams this semester not forever hahaha but then i'd be supposed to take all the remaining exams in the summer #and i can't possibly take 14 exams between now and july which is why i'm panicking (there are other logistically confusing things in what i #said but i wanted to clear this one up at least lmao) (i'm already feeling vaguely better can't you see?)

13 notes · View notes

sanchoyo · 7 months

Text

as a little early xmas present to myself I sent my switch in to get fixed…bc the ground shipping time to get to the other side of the country + the estimated time it’ll take to get fixed + the slow ground shipping BACK it’ll be like. Probably over a month right. But I’m rly hoping they CAN fix it 😭 it’s been like a year and I’ve missed my bideo gaems 😔

#the problem was def smth with hardware I think like it would make a frightening popping noise then just shut off …#it would stay on for like 1-2 mins before then and did show it was charging…battery issue??#idk it’ll just suck if I wait like a month and a half and then get told they CANT fix it yk #I don’t wanna have ot buy a new one I like my lil switch lite it’s cute it’s Green 💅#at least they don’t charge if they can’t fix it they just send it back #I’m trying to be patient but I am Not 🧍🏻 I miss animal crossing #catch me redesigning my whole ac island when I get it back #sanchoyorambles

2 notes · View notes

basssiliskk · 3 months

Text

they should invent the ability to stop time just so a gal like me can sleep longer without the crushing guilt of waking up at 1 pm

#okay so i stay up until 5 am and wake up at 1 pm thats fine #so why did i wake up at 2:30 pm yesterday when i went to bed at 3 am #this is fucked. sick and twisted.#basilspeakss

1 note · View note

ceruleanfuckup · 1 year

Text

I had a 13 hour shift today and was panicking because I was late to something after my shift, so I ran a lot and fucked up my knee pretty bad but honestly it was very worth it

#posting at 2:40 AM because he's asleep and minimal people will see this #I'm just. happy.#and a large part of me is worried that it's a ton veneer of happiness that will crack when i ask certain questions #but most of me is just happy taking it as it is #he's so much fun and i enjoy spending time with him a lot and he's charismatic and funny and facetious and egotistical and delightful #my roommate has learned that every time she catches me smirking that it's because he did something cute or he was unexpectedly kind #i just. worry.#and I'm trying to not get too hung up on that because i did a lot of my worrying early in whatever this is but it's still underlying #idk man no amount of time with him is ever enough time and he does things to me that I've never felt before #and idk man. I'm just happy.#long ass shifts don't seem anywhere near as long with him on the other end of it #he works at 5:30 AM and he stayed out with me until 1 because i was late and because i needed it and he even suggested the second bar #I really want to attach meaning to his actions but I'm so nervous to overstep #anyways if you ever look in this tag I'm going to be very proud of you. and a little shocked #i mean. maybe not as shocked as i would have been before the Twitter thing 😭#Roman

15 notes · View notes

opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year

Text

...

#ngl rn the idea that i still have to stay here working on the same stuff when a potential phd project is on the horizon is a lil soul #crushing. like god i wanna b able to read papers abt that. not work on my existing papers. or take measurements. or stay here anymore #like probably at least 6 months more. thats so long 😭 let me shed this skin #ugh. at least the decision making is almost over. one more interview and then i should have all the decisions by the 1st week of march?#and then its just up to me to decide. rn id say the school i visited. but thats plenty of time to talk myself out of it. ugh #ugh me trying to do my job: ok i have like 7 things i could me doing *starts thing 1* oh wait but *starts thing 2*. i just ping pong #between tasks and dont get things all the way done. then im like oh i need to remember X thing later *instantly forgets* but i did just #experience the glory of being reminded to do a task via calender #listen. its like my brain has holes in it and theyre threatening to destroy my life lmao #most of the time i feel like a pinball when ur just hitting it back and forth between the bars. threatening to fall between them #ay ay ay. my poor feeble brain. someday ill fix iy #it. or like. try to manage it better so im not constantly on the edge of catastrophe. but ya kno that day is not today or tomorrow #bc i am paralyzed of driving lmao and its fucking wimby out there #ugh. i miss the snow already :-( i wanna go back :-( ugh they got their hooks in me #unrelated

8 notes · View notes

killjoy-prince · 8 months

Text

Surprise manga haul!

#prince's talk tag #i was able to get a ride to a store near me in hopes of them having bloom into you #they did not #BUT I got some books i was thinking of getting yesterday and passed on like the two books in the top two corners #i didnt catch up with sasaki yet but im not going on my booktrip next week so i decided to get the spinoff now #they didnt have the next volume i needed for witch hat so i held off on buying that #but i did find go for it again which i thought didnt get translated #and since i never see it anyway i decided to get it now #i saw phantom tales yesterday and i really liked the cover but didnt know if i should buy it #but then i read chapter 1 online and i got hooked #it gave vibes to a manga i read a long time ago about a supernatural being who resides at a cafe who solves troubles in exchange for dreams #and this one is about a supernatural being who owns an inn who allows people to stay in exchange for secrets #and the art is really nice so im interested to see where itll go #the reo and mabu manga i loved when i first read it and seeing it on the shelf made me wanna own it so here i am #ive heard good things about pancreas eating but never watched it so i wanna read the manga (i think it was a light novel first but *shrug*)#dk what summer ghost is about but the cover intrigued me

3 notes · View notes

gatun-gatunesco · 8 months

Text

Fleabag

"People make mistakes... that is why they put a rubbers in the end of pencils"

#personal post #So i kind of forced myself to finish Fleabag season 1. Since the beginning i knew was not something i would see for pleasure #of course was very difficult as 1) i have become sex repulsed once again and 2) she is really fucked up. She needs a terapist #it was a recomendation from them and i knew i just see them in the character facing similar problems and similar way of thinking #the last episode hurts a lot and hurts me more after what happened between us. the decisions they made. the way it ended again #i know they wanted to talk about this. i shame myself once again as i was so late to do so. But yet again. i was right about my fears #about how i saw them reflected in her. how they were taking a similar bad road in life. how they mental illness was going to mess up all #after what happened with him. how they did not said anything. how they just give it all to please him and make a nice memory for him #after how they let him just go full gallop and basically let him use them in the most vulnerable moment so far...#i can only wish they learn. that they realize. that they finally could apply something from the life of another person. even if is fiction #after finishing this season. i can understand and let the anger that i had in me vanished just as fast as it came #but the sadness will remain. the event will remain. the need for me to stay away will remain. i can not help them anymore #it will only hurt me not being able to help. to feel powerless meanwhile i just see them going a downfall. mistake after mistake #i could not bear to see the person i cared the most being that fucked up and not try to help. but i already did that mistake. it finished u #my role as a caregiver is still so mixed within myself. as since my mistakes i would not force nor try anything without them doing it first #so. for them that are indecisive yet impulsive. that are people pleaser even when it hurt them deeply. naive with a gold heart #that want to be friends with all as they feel so lonely. Prisoners of they body and themselfs...#going that softly versus everyone else who is more assertive (even them in a impulsive moment) was not going to work just with words #but i can not do it in another way. i am more sensitive and delicate than one could guess just by looking at me. is not in my nature #forceful? nope. without caution? no. fast? no. i can not hold anger. i can not be unforgiving. Even when i always remember #i can still do damage. just not in a convetional way and is mostly involuntary. i am far from perfect but i am also far from terrible #i am a person who also had done mistakes. But being honest. excepting one i never did something so bad i could not forgive myself eventuall #and i say all this because even with all the pain that is forcing myself to stay away. i just hope they could find a healthy road again...#without the need to make more mistakes or do such things that they may not be able to fix or came back at all...#for them to not regret still being alive. to be happy in a good way without destroying themselfs #i just hope i can be able to see that one day. even if is just from far away and as a total stranger #because i like thing no one else would see and enjoy they beauty in they own unique way #vent post #vent tag #tw vent

2 notes · View notes

retiredcultistredux · 10 months

Note

Prince fluff are you ok?

Prince Fluff: "...That and I'm exhausted and a little light-headed. Probably from the blood loss...Zan helped clean the blood up, and she had part of a Maxim Tomato with her. It managed to heal the wound to the point where it scarred over...though the area's still sore, and I keep getting that phantom limb feeling. ...It's...really not a very pleasant experience, but I'll be fine. I mean, I have to be. My friends are counting on me..."

2 notes · View notes

arnold-layne · 11 months

Text

.

#so tired. so so so tired #i just want one (1) day when i dont have to learn 40 pages of international relations history by heart #all these dates treaties memorandums communiques meetings summits wars declarations military coups #i will never ever go into anything even remotely connected with politics #if this wasnt a state exam i would have given up by now #but i wont get to cheat like i did on all my other exams #(do not judge me. i have my reasons)#and i stay up until 6 am studying then wake up at 3 and get down to study at 4 #hellish life #please forgive my whining. needed to get this out #arnold’s laments

3 notes · View notes

papus-clown-enclosure · 1 year

Text

Finally got around to redressing my Ginger doll and putting her hair back in pigtails, i love her sm she is now displayed on some random stand i had up. Also got around to redressing my double of Zooey that i had gotten idk how long ago, i had to wash her hair, and i decided to give her diff shoes and Harley's jeans. Idk i just wasnt to big of a fan of her skirt matching her skin tone. And now she sits near me.

Also did dishes, and am back to trying to do some hw.

I feel slightly productive today.

Damn i wonder if i'll have time to wash a diff doll.

#i have so much hw/class work #papuka rambles #only took a very short nap this morning maybe less than 30 #bc i had woken up at 1 something am and then stayed up #i did do some hw #and i tried to sleep after eating earlier today but i couldn't #so now im like now what #i mean i could do the laundry but im in a slightly tired and 'paranoid' idk what to call it not mood like headspace #like what i would usually feel at 3am back when i used to feel like that past 2am and maybe #was lowkey scared of sleeping by myself like a wee bit #anyways i have my monster i didnt drink yesterday #i really dont know how to describe it #like indont actively feel anxious #but the head feels a tiny bit odd #the silence isnt helping #i hate that this area is so fucking silent like i cant even hear the landscape(?)/maintaince workers today #its missing our shitty old apt hours where there was some sort of noise at all hours basically

2 notes · View notes