#it is very toxic ik that but what if it isnt
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fellas is it toxic to reject a guy who's very very into you because you are aware of how bad of a decision it would be to date him, but then feel a little jealous whenever he talks about any other girls
#— rambles ⋆·ʚ⁺#it is very toxic ik that but what if it isnt#this is not balcony boy btw#idk what nickname i should give this one lol#there is quite a bit of backstory here 😭#but nobody can judge me on tumblr 😍
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As a fellow Dovewing lover, it's frustrating how the fandom watered her down into a whiny brat who never cared about Ivypool. I mean, seriously? Not only did Dovewing care about her sister (reacting in horror when Lionblaze, her own mentor and Jayfeather are willing to potentially sacrifice Ivypool's safety by employing her as her spy instead of trying to get her out of the Dark Forest's clutches, hiding a thorn in her nest to cover for her scarring from her training).
Heck, even the scene where she tries to feed Ivypool her catch during a hunting patrol was demonized because 'she was trying to make Ivypool break the code like SHE does, as if it doesn't matter' and because she got upset when Ivypool started arguing with her! But you guys said she didn't care, right? Plus, people act like being forced into a prophecy is something you should be grateful for, as if it didn't irreparably change her close relationship with her sister? As if Lionblaze and Jayfeather didn't still keep her out of the loop (and for all the fussing they made about keeping it a secret, Lionblaze confesses his power to Cinderheart and Jayfeather doesn't even care).
Meanwhile Nightheart is angry he isn't orange and hates his mom for being exiled and the whole world has to stop for him. 🤪 And Bramblestar is simply so tortured by having an evil father, the only choice is to train with him and his evil half-brother and hide this from his wife! (But remember, it's bad when that witch Squirrelflight hides the parentage of the three from him, even when Blackstar and Leopardstar were still around after being complicit in the torture and killing of halfclan cats.) Why are these male characters sympathized with, even when they actively harm people (Nightheart forcing himself into Sunbeam's life by lying to everyone about being her mate without even asking her if she would be fine with that beforehand), Bramblestar (we all know what he does), but when Dovewing or any other female character is upset, people freak out and call them whiny brats or abusive for (checks notes) asking her partner if he loves her anymore after they argued multiple times in a book. Really makes you think! (Sorry this is so long, you just have based opinions!)
dovewing being characterized as this flighty airheaded vain popular girl stereotype in fanon is like. one of those biggest "we didnt actually read the books" things in the fandom. like theres so much fanart where shes grinning and giggling over the prophecy and shes besties with the trio and shes got preferential treatment, and then in the actual books shes basically the autistic kid no one actually likes. people really, REALLY overexaggerate that one scene where she snaps at ivypaw and brags. (and i dont wanna shit on amvs but i am forever side eying how the animation community handled dove back in the day. more than one person animated her getting murdered. normal.)
i do think its gotten better recently at least. but wow does it feel like at least one person on the writing team has a bone to pick
(also awww thank you <3 no need to be sorry i love getting stuff in my inbox)
#it does also feel so insidious to me just how long the bramblesquirrel conflict was painted as ''equally kind of wrong''#the ppl who put words in squilfs mouth sometimes which. btw ill get to that when i read the book#and tbf part of it is that sometimes abuse isnt as easy to spot if youre primed to the mainstream version of it#like. bramble isnt a born evil wifebeater everyone can see coming from a mile away. hes a complex guy with his own insecurities#and his own goals and people he openly cares about. and even in some fanon stuff i see ppl kinda erase that part of him#(which i wont pretend im above- ive been trying to walk that line myself)#and that doesnt match how abusers are usually percieved by the public. or in this very series.#like. the main excuse for clear sky is literally ''hes sad his sister died and tried to save her! no one changes THAT much''#anyone can be an abuser. you could be an abuser. i could be an abuser. that doesnt mean that we ARE but we are capable of it#and the thing that catches ppl off guard is that abusers are really good at hiding who they are and theyre often charming#i often hear this account of abuse that goes something like ''my parent abused me but no one believed me bc theyre nice in public''#you dont know whats going on behind closed doors. and ik this is about funny kitties at the end of the day but its quite telling#so... yeah bramble has his nice moments. hes got his GREAT moments even. i love his relationship with his mom for example#but those moments dont mean that hes not capable of being worse. of being a monster to his loved ones#its why squilf keeps getting sucked back in. hes not a one dimensional asshole. hes capable of being kind to her.#and thats what makes his disgusting moments hit so much harder#wow ok i got off topic in the tags but yknow. idk i got feelings abt this matter as someone who's experienced toxic relationships
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Bruce Wayne dating headcannons 🦇
-hes suchhh a sweetheart oml
-Bruce loves to spoil you in many different ways
-obviously he buys you a ton of gifts, like he will buy literally ANYTHING you want he doesn’t care how expensive
-like Bruce we GET ITTT UR RICH.
-if you dont like him buying you things then he’ll stop ofc, ik some people dont like when people but them stuff (i personally dont really like it)
-but he also spoils you with how much affection he gives you. Bruce isnt shy about telling you how much he appreciates and loves you.
-All of his free time is spent with you, he always wants you near him even if you guys aren’t talking or doing anything together
-hes big on physical touch, he just loves to hold your face in his hands, mindlessly run his fingers up and down your thighs, leave tiny kisses all over your neck, literally anything that involves showing you how much he loves you
-loves to keep his hand on your lower back in public so that you wont accidentally walk to far away from him
-hes very protective of you but its not in a toxic controlling way, he just knows how dangerous gotham is and hes always worried about you.
-although he is protective he also LOVES to show you off. He will take ANY chance he gets to tell people that he’s dating you
-(kindaa going back to the spoiling thing) he definitely has bought you a necklace with his initials on it
-and not only did he do that but he also got himself one with your initials on it so that people know hes yours💋
-Bruce is lowkey clingy asf like he want you to come with him everywhere
-he takes you to every event that he gets invited to and most of them as boring and full of old rich people, he will pay for all of your outfits for the events tho so that’s a plus🤗
-want you to live with him, like he has actually asked you to live with him multiple times as if youre not just two teenagers??
-but since you dont live together sleepovers happen frequently (he’ll sneak into your house and leave early in the morning so your parents dont see him)
-he knows that he can protect you so he will bring you with him when he goes on one of his dangerous adventures
-youre gonna have to deal with a lot of brooding because well we all know how Bruce can be 🤕
-but if you play with his hair and ask him whats wrong he cant help but spill his heart out to you
-everyone can tell how much he loves you when he actually tells you whats bothering him instead of suffering in silence
#gotham x reader#bruce wayne#gotham bruce wayne#bruce wayne x reader#bruce wayne fanfiction#batman x reader#batman#batman fanfiction#gotham bruce wayne x reader
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journal/braindump 26/3/24
i hope life gets better soon. school is so miserable and weird and i just constantly feel like my physical shape is blurred and i'm but a a faceless entity drifting through the crowded and sweaty halls. when i speak to people it feels like i have to physically force myself to and i'm always so conscious of the fact that i would really love it if i were alone and not speaking to anybody at all.
i don't feel confident in myself and i feel like this year has passed by way too fast and i feel like just attempting to live feels like a bunch of cold sand is piled in my hands, and like sand does, it slips easily through my fingers and all i can do is watch. i feel so stupid and so naive all the damn time
for a while i had believed that everything would be okay, and then for a while after that i believed that i should kill myself. i'm okay now, i still feel very unsettled and it's like i'm not really me but i feel fine enough to function and i feel fine enough to live and wish to keep on living
i wish to keep on living
tomorrow i will wake up early and i will make myself coffee and i will sit down and read (i've had reading block for 2 days- which seems short but its annoying for me bc i really really want to read but i feel too restless and distracted to). i'll try to be nice to myself and protect my peace really hard and go on walks or something
i find that watching youtube videos where people just sit and talk, or rearrange their house and books, is really calming to me. i can't wait to just sit in front of the tv with a cup of matcha and a box of chocolates and just watching people talk, or watch all the movies ive been meaning to watch for sooo long
autumn is rolling around, and i'm infinitely greatful that it is because i always feel so inspired during this season. autumn makes me want to read, it makes me want to watch more films and eat more food and drink warm drinks that make me feel okay inside.
i also hope to pick up journalling again, but i'm not sure if i will because i don't have my own printer for images and idk what to journal but i have recently tried to just draw pictures- ive recently written journal pages on what i want to read, and also an "about me" page, and hand drew pictures. it's nice, but it doesn't give the same effect as full out journalling (with stickers, images, tape, etc... sigh.). i hope i journal more this holiday nonetheless.
i also hope to read without feeling so much pressure. i usually have no problem with reading whatever i want to read, as i like to think of myself as somebody who isnt easily influenced by other people's views (eg. if someone told me i have to read a certain book, i will consider it but i wont read it unless i want to) , but lately i've been thinking of all the books i want to read this holiday (for me i have autumn break in one week- and autumn break lasts for 2 weeks) and as u can imagine, it is very stressful bc ive somehow fallen into the mindset that i must read ALL of those books before next term or else.
fyi the books comprise of
- the complete collection of jane austen
- the complete collection of sherlock holmes
- the poppy war
- the iliad
- hamlet
- the metamorphosis
soo yeah... especially the first two points are stressing me out haha... im starting the poppy war now but im a little nervous bc ppl keep saying that its VERY gory??? and i usually dont care abt such things but lately my nerves and emotions have been such a wreck that i dont trust myself to read it in a calm manner
i'll try to break free of this toxic reader mindset tho! it would be nice if i could talk to people abt books, so it feels like im engaging with my hobby while not actually having to do the hobby, but nobody ik irl will want to talk abt books as i do
MAN i so badly want to rant abt booktok (ok actually i wont expand on this bc its a very sore point for me in the sense that i might get worked up over it and then feel shit afterwards for displaying sm emotion)
anywaysss next topic
ummm i get my maths result back on thursday and im so fucking scared bc i know i messed up bad for a few questions but im not sure if it was enough to drop me down to a b... idk i REALLY REALLY WANT AN A. like istg my whole self esteem for until the next exams roll around is goijg to be based off my maths result.. fuck im so emotionally immature its laughable
ummm also i have literature class tmr and i love lit class but we have to watch fucking "shes the man" and im sorry but i hate that movie so so much (ive never watched it before but we watched half of it last lesson and it was soo annoying). ughh why is my eng teacher making us watch this 😭😭
also my eng teacher is very blunt and therefore very interesting to talk to so ive been wanting to ask him abt books hes read lately but i CANT bc we have to watch thats tupid fucking movie and also he has to mark papers :( but also like hes the only intellectually stimulating person ik irl so what am i meant to do with all of my buzzing book thoughts ughh (rhetorical question. pls dont answer) :(
hmm what else is there to say
oh yeah last night i had a dream tjat i got a B+ for english and that was... it was like a nightmare im not even kidding. it was such a vivid dream too- everybody else got an A meanwhile i got a B+ (very close to an A) and i was just absolutely shocked and i desperately begged my teacher to give me some extra credit work so i can bump it up to an A-... yeah...
oh but also back to me wanting to have a better life- i think i'll take myself to the thrift more and go out with my friend (yes, singular. theres only one friend that i like hanging out with outside of school 💀) atleast once this holiday... thats what teen girls my age do, right??? haha...
also i want to watch ladybird and the perks of being a wallflower and rewatch little women and dead poets society !
i also might reread solitaire but aghh that makes me stressed out abt reading again... fuck. maybe i should just take a break from reading omfg
i cant wait to wake up early tomorrow and drink coffee though! :)
also i will make more spotify playlists (it makes me rlly happy to) and MAYBE even try cooking????????????? man idfk im desperate okay? feeling suicidal is not fun and i dont want to feel like that again this year. i cant afford thay bc im meant to be an academic weapon :( (lol who am i kidding? im more like an academic victim)
also maybe i will just text my friends more in general. it stresses me out and makes me feel icky but the other day, i had a nice and fun and lighthearted texting convo with one of my class friends and it made me realise that i should probably text people more ...
lol
anyways i think thats all? i think ive gotten everything off my chest for now. i liked doing this actually. maybe i'll do it more often idk 💀💀
hope u guys have a good day 🙏 i dont actually expect anyone to read this but if you did, i hope you have a good day TIMES TWO!
no refunds :}
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idk who to say this to so i hope its ok to say it to you. feel free to just delete this ask if you have no comments lol
theres a few RAMCOA blogs on tumblr, that appear to be run by minors probably 15-17 age range, that are spreading some of the most stupid and insane misinformation that makes me want to rip my hair out. its not my business to say if some of these people are or arent RAMCOA survivors but the way some of these people define RAMCOA makes me extremely suspicious. on one blog ive seen people sending asks where they describe something that isnt RAMCOA at all and the blog owner pretty much always answers with "heres how it still could be RAMCOA". i feel so exhausted from having my experiences watered down. i feel like people dont understand how serious the shit i went thru was because they think shit like being verbally/emotionally abused by their parents is RAMCOA (and then when i say it isnt RAMCOA people whine about how they feel their trauma "isnt bad enough".) ik this is a toxic way of thinking and im working on it but sometimes i just want to be like "youre right, it wasnt bad enough, you didnt go through shit compared to me and look how whiny it made you".
hope youre doing well 👍
Yeah there are a very concerning number of teenagers who are claiming this. Based on what I have heard it seems they are primarily getting their information from TikTok, Instagram "RAMCOA educators" who all of course use blatantly incorrect information, and Discord servers centered on RAMCOA that are run by other minors. It also appears that they suggest these histories to each other by saying "it seems like you're programmed" and so forth.
I don't think it is incorrect to state that they, especially when they don't have the correct definition of the terms, are mistaken at best and are not actually survivors of RAMCOA.
I do also want to say that having reactions like that internally is not "toxic." Emotions and knee jerk reactions do not have to be socially acceptable or rational (and frequently aren't). All they are is an indicator of yourself and your surroundings. In this case frustration and feeling like you are not being respected. You are allowed to feel however you want so long as you are not actually saying that to someone else. Accepting and managing your emotions and reactions is much more important and also healthier than trying to compartmentalize your "unacceptable" emotions and reactions. You can still change your mindset, but make it about how it improves you rather than because you want to stuff down your reactions.
I hope your journey moving forward has smoother waters.
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my point stills stands, after reading the new chapters my most toxic trait is the fact that I would’ve forgiven both Yeri and Yunjin 😞. BUT I NEED PEOPLE TO HEAR ME OUT (I’m constantly a villain apologist) Like yk, what they did was beyond fucked up BUT, Yeri was not lying when she said she had no choice, and for some reason I felt like the whole exposing thing for her was too extreme 😞, ik bada was probably fuming but something in me says she didn’t deserve that, LIKE I FELT HER ANXIETY THROUGH THE SCREEN, I don’t think that everyone hating her will compensate for what she did, it’s just like revenge but in a cruel kinda way. Pookie didn’t deserve 😞 and also she was not really the only culprit, people actually confessed things, she just posted them by their request.
Now, with yunjin is diff because miss girl is actually very guilty and so very sick in the head. But hear me out, when she said that she constantly felt like she was Nari’s shadow, and mentioned her mom, somehow most of her attitudes make sense. Wanting validation can fuck your head so much it’s surreal, and I think that deeply she acc feels remorse by it, but she was fueled with jealousy and desperation. I think that what broke my heart the most was when she was left all alone 😞. Somehow I feel like her character is complex and at that precise moment she also needed some type of reassurance from friends to understand that what she did was terrible albeit the reasons. I feel bad for her because, imagine always feeling like someone’s shadow, and in the end, everyone you love ends up taking their side and leaving you, further pressing that feeling that in the end you will always be her shadow, and people would prefer her over you. And I know in this case Nari’s feelings al probably all over the place due to the betrayal, but imagine how yun feels too 😞.
In conclusion, I support their rights and wrongs, waiting for their redemption arc so I can be an apologist outside the trenches. (sorry for the rant but I just love character dynamics so much 😞 and specially this one for me has so many layers)
okay so yeri was actually threatened to post those abt nari but she wasn't threatened to post the others she did it for fun u can see that she says i liked it at first she did this for funnnn and in a way its called bullying too like imagine someone posting all ur darkest secrets and the whole school even the ones who dont attend see it
no matter how jealous yunjin got she shouldve never done and she cant be forgiven bc she isnt 12 to make those mistakes if she rlly was good and loved nari she wouldve either told her she likes bada or keep it forever inside her feelings go away yk
she wasnt sorry in the end she accused nari stealing bada from her which aint normal😭 maybe in the future she'll forgive her (not rlly😩) but she'll never forget
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Ugh ik he’s toxic but he’s so damn cute. I also think even though he’s a lil man whore he has some really good moments with oc.
Hes usually at taes to see her 🥹
Only going to the party to apologize to her even though it isnt his scene
Making sure her feet don’t hurt-which he could’ve made her wear her heel’s back there but it seems he considered that too
Carrying the suitcase even though they had that moment in the club
Helping with the tent then offered space in his
Telling that thirsty mfer in the store off, replacing what the guy picked up-pls this was so cute
“Get in the car”
Apologizing like a man!!!
If i were really a fuckboy i wouldve fucked you already-idk i took this as youre worth me taking me time , even if we are in a little teasing game, cause he couldve fed into it when the “so youre into role play” line was said but he still kept quiet.
never have i ever thrown my good friend under the bus by lying to save my own ass for something insignificant- this one hit me!!!! Not only did oc say it wasnt tae when he asked was it him she did that to- jk let her get away with it by not throwing her under the bus even though he knew the truth! he literally says “insignificant” like eunbi wasn’t worth the lie bc he already favors oc. Like he said, he wants OC. It wouldn’t have changed anything either.. No matter if she said it was eunbi , his stance on his business being told wouldn’t have changed and neither would the way he finds OC intriguing and attractive.
I could be reading to deep into the last one but like😭
ur not reading too deep into it!
u nailed !!! every single point
(hes usually at taes to see her – a second later he told her she could see thru his bullshit because that wasn’t true and she called it so this one isnt very accurate)
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i relate to the anons, lately (from what ive seen on twt) the fandom has become so toxic and hostile its very disappointing
the unnecessary fanwars and dragging, not to mention the bodyshaming etc ppl do its so disheartening. ik it sucks that the boys still get so much hate but this isnt how we should respond and i wish the ppl who do these things know that the tannies would be so disappointed in them for behaving like this 😭
theyre such nice ppl and their messages are all about respect and love it breaks my heart that some of the fandom still acts like this 😭
but apart from all the strength and comfort the tannies existence and music has given me, being a part of the fandom is also so nice, ive seen incredible fanart and gifs that inspire me on their own. and there are so many funny ppl on twt its hilarious 😭 the memes are so funny and i love the sense of community that happens when a member goes live and we all come online and share our thoughts and reactions 💜 i also feel such immense pride when i use bts fanmade sites for resources (doolset, bangtan subs, bts interview archive etc) like,,, its such a massive record of their content since debut and its so well organised, its insane how ppl come together to create these solely based on their love for bangtan and to spread their message 💜
i hope the negative sides of our fandom doesn't ruin ppls experience of bts and their music :(
you guys keep on mentioning such awful stuff like body shaming or people getting bullied for winning an event, it’s horrible man, I didn’t even see any of that and still thought the fandom’s got some problems. :/
BUT I had to smile so much while reading all the positive things you’ve listed, I 100% agree with everything!! Especially the fan artists and translators and people who upload/ archive content, oh they’re the best and we’re really lucky in that regard.
I hope the same thing, love!! 💗
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🔥 + Any about Kyle from South Park? Such as ships with him or a fandom interpretation that you disagree with/wish more people noticed?
Send me a “ 🔥 “ for an unpopular opinion.
Bonus points if you include a topic. ( IE. shipping, roleplaying, ect. )
// *i have A MAJOR FUCKING PROBLEM with one single ship involving him - Kyman. i am somebody who is very carefree with ships and i literally DO NOT CARE what kind of ships you enjoy. if its toxic, stable, whatever the fuck - enjoy it! its YOUR interests. however, when its an obvious ship that is ONLY made because “aw, theres cute romantic tension! they just love each other!”
// *NO THE FUCK THEY DONT?????????
// *the concept of Kyman (Kyle x Cartman) even existing in the first place fucking disgusts me. Cartman is the epitome of how awful a human being with no empathy can be. he is a racist and shits on Kyle’s ENTIRE FAMILY during the entire show. he makes fun of Kyle for being a Jew and calls him racist names in response. he also nearly KILLED KYLE MULTIPLE FUCKING TIMES. i despise ships that are only there for the “romance” when its VERY OBVIOUS there isnt any romance to begin with. or any cute shit. it doesnt fucking exist when it comes to those two.
// *may i also emphasize: in the Post-Covid episodes, Kyle still fucking hates Cartman. after what, 40 fucking years? of being shit on for SO LONG? he DOES NOT TRUST Cartman in the slightest. he even begrudingly let Cartman stay at his house during the quarantine, and they WOKE HIM UP TWICE BECAUSE THEY WERE LOUD DURING SEX. he also was deceiving his own fucking friends behind his back to stop Kyle from going into the past. he even manipulated Clyde to fight him and his friends because of it. HE IS NOT A ROMANTIC PARTNER TO KYLE IN THE SLIGHTEST.
// *tl;dr - any kind of toxic ships with Kyle i hate because he WOULD NOT allow himself to be walked on. he is not a people pleaser. he is very stubborn and hardheaded. thats how he has ALWAYS BEEN. he is prone to piss off really quickly and only has so much patience for stupidity. people forget his personality and think hes soft. where as i know he has a soft spot for people like Stan, Ike, his mom, SPECIFIC people he cares for? he is NOT always soft.
#electricea#✨{𝔯𝔢𝔮𝔲𝔢𝔰𝔱 𝔯𝔢𝔠𝔢𝔦𝔳𝔢𝔡; (𝔞𝔰𝔨 𝔞𝔫𝔰𝔴𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔡)#✨{𝔬𝔲𝔱 𝔬𝔣 𝔪𝔞𝔫𝔤𝔞; (𝔬𝔲𝔱 𝔬𝔣 𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔱𝔢𝔯)#south park tw#// *i will always defend Kyle at every fucking turn#// *fuck Kyman#// *yall mfs want 'romantic tension'? Style is a better option
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ik its partially because i stopped making wan fail almost every nerve choice
but id like to think that the in-game explanation of why wan is finally at coping is because of how lincoln makes him feel safe. lincoln is not only their safe harbor, but he inspires and encourages wan to be better.
that's true for all timelines since a relationship doesn't have to be romantic to have a deep connection.
but also there's something about a trans queer ilw mc (where being a Power Creature is queer-coded + trans-coded asf) having the chance to express their feelings in a safe space.
yeah lincoln pushes them because hes also in his own head but hes also working through being better and establishing healthier boundaries.
i think itd be so healing and healthy for wan (whos been told at church, at school, at home that theyre a monster for having feelings. for loving who they love. for being who they are.) to know that hey you can have feelings, you can be true to yourself without fear of judgement or reproach.
and lincoln doesnt even have to reciprocate that immediately (at least until ch15) because wan is perfectly content to wait for him to see himself the way wan sees him: a good gentle person who can change and make up for their mistakes and isnt defined by anything else.
the same way lincoln extends to wan that love, understanding and patience. "if you can't see the good in yourself then ill do it for you until you can."
and lincolns reason for coping is that he saw wans chest and got 2938 nerve instantly.
versus haunted!Wan timeline where mattyass encourages mc to be in the same stasis he is. he's not interested in being better, and he thinks an mc he's in love with could do no wrong.
its a very toxic love and haunted! wan has been hating themself for their feelings. because its wrong. because he'd hurt lincoln. because mattyass is a monster and so is wan.
its reinforcing all the toxic beliefs wan has had about themself (that hes a monster going to hell for what he is, that having these kinds of feelings will only lead to destruction), which is why hes just Not Having a Fun Time in that timeline.
#el.txt#el meta#lincwan#mattwan#wan capili#lincoln mcquoid#cw matthias mcquoid#lincoln x mc#matthias x mc
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Uhm hi..
My name is Anabella. I recently (as in 10 mins ago) decided i wanted to start a Tumblr. Well, I thought of myspace first, after watching a documentary with myspace in it. It's called "why would you kill me?" it's true crime and really good. Anyway, I'm just trying to start a daily blog bc why not? i like journaling and it's like a digital journal that everyone (except friends) can see. I don't expect to be a popular blogger, no one would be interested in hearing my life I'm sure but fuck it, idc, it's for me. I'm kinda hating this auto correct thingy, like where it puts lines under everything without correct punctuation or spelling. Like the spelling is fine it's just the punctuation, I'm not very good with that but I hate seeing all these red lines its driving me nuts. And ik I can shut it off but then I'll lose everything I wrote and like.. no. Well i mean its alr, it just saved me from putting loose instead of lose, I'm kinda tired rn.
Anywayyyy: about me
i am a teenage girl who is going into high school in a month, I'm petrified. Like I've always been a good student but the school im going to I feel like I don't fit in. it's a school for law and I'm interested in the academics but not so much the students, it's what i want to do with the type of people i don't wanna do it with. The only bright side is I'm going with my two best friends, one I've known since birth and the other since 2nd grade. I love both of them and I'm glad I'll be experiencing hs with them. I know one person who goes there, they said there were lots of fights but if you lay low youll be fine, it isn't a bad school, just bad ppl. It was my first choice mainly bc of its name, I've found out it was everyone else's 8-12th choice so ig it isnt the best. its in a good neighborhood though, either way I'm nervous and regretting applying to it as my first choice. Does anyone have any tips for hs? if so i would really appreciate it. I'm sorry if i ramble im not a very straight-to-the-point person. Ima just do about me bullet points lmaooo.
About me...pt 2
I have two cats (Azora and Thackery binx)
I'm 14
I'm from NYC
i try my best to be positive
I'm an extrovert when i have to be but introvert by choice
i just got out of a very toxic/ mentally and emotionally abusive relationship
im working on self-love
if your gonna follow me be along for a bumpy ride, ill follow all you back.
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yet another rant lol TW// talkin ab suicide n shit like that this is a sad one
so im not gonna get too specific w this one cuz its honestly jus a bunch of mess ion want strangers on the internet knowing but like a series of events have transpired and honestly they've left me feelin hopeless like idk rn its looking a bit more up but this honestly isnt the direction i want my life to be going. idk ab the rest of yall but it feels like my life has been a series of waiting for shit to happen w the promise that itll get better once that thing happens. but every time it gets to that point its basically the same as it was before.
and honestly i just need to come to terms with the fact that im always just going to be sad because of MDD like theres literally nothing i can do about it my mind is just wired to be hopeless type shit. and now its like all the options that i used to have have been stripped away from me all at once and its all coming to a head and like i rlly dont know what to do. i only got like 2 ppl who im rlly close to rn everyone else left due to one thing or another and in all honesty it sucks. like i love those 2 ppl w all my heart dgmw but damn man icl i do miss having a more extensive support network. and like honestly i wouldve been kms if i didnt have my dog. having another life to consider and take care of has rlly been a blessing and a curse for me. like bc of him i stayed alive to experience all the good that has happened but it also lead to me being here with damn near nothing to do. i cant leave him alone here i cant trust nobody w him hes like my kid almost. i dont want him to have to live in this world without me n ion wanna ever b without him. shit just thinking ab it makes me wanna tear up man i love that dog so much yall dont even know.
anyways idk outside of that if i die before i get to see this project to its completion ill be letting myself down. trophaeum is supposed to be my opus its supposed to be what the entirety of ilyjin is building up towards but im just struggling so much with staying alive that i cant see myself making it up there. i cant even focus on working on the project bc of all the shit thats been goin on man. i jus dont wanna let myself down ive done that more than enough in this life. ik ive talked before about how i dont fit in the mold that society has constructed for us and that holds true more than ever now. with all the things going on in the world idek if my dreams are still gonna be possible. its very disheartening. idk man ion think i wanna talk ab this anymore. its not even that its too painful or anything its just that im starting to not see the point. and tbh ion like ppl knowing just how sad of a person i am like all the time. but at the same time i cant help but be honest about who i am. i am a neurodivergent person with depression theres nothing i can do to change that and i shouldnt have to be ashamed or hide it. but sometimes it genuinely feels like im supposed to just ignore those parts of myself in order to fit into the capitalist machine.
ig my whole point in saying this is that im scared that ill never be able to show the world how much of an artist i really am and that ill never be able to have the impact i want to on the next generation.
after this post im gonna talk about overcoming toxicity like i said i would last time.
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what's ur ariane/moia galaxy-brained idea?
I'm havin a mimosa excavating archaeology materials this is the perfect time to answer this.
Full disclosure these ideas might need Revisions since it was born a little before the release of archaeology and a good few quests involving moia have come out since then that I havent gotten to so. Y'know.
So basically if you look at both their backstories you can draw parallels and contrasts that work together nicely. Thats the first pillar. Moia found both a mentor and a second father in Zamorak, who supported and taught her where her father Lucien did not.
Ariane found crucial support and encouragement in the wizard Ellaron. Where the rest of her peers rejected her and none of the other senior wizards took her interest in exploring her seer powers seriously, he was her only real support. He encouraged her where others didn't.
Ellaron was a Zamorakian, who was more than happy to use Ariane to destroy the tower at the cost of her own life. Zamorak, on the other hand, values Moia above the rest of his followers (afaik though. might need to brush up.) His most trusted general. When trying to steal the stone of jas, she was the one heading the operation. She was by his side at the battle of lumbridge.
parallels and contrasts. both go well together. More could be drawn to, but I'll stop with this one. Its the most obvious.
The second pillar is more or less the potential in conversation I think they could have, stemming from both ideology but also... Openness. i confess, really reliant on my interpretation of their characters from what we've seen. your mileage may vary, and all that.
Moia, as I recall from the zamorak god book, gives us a strong philosophical idea of what the chaos of zamorak could be. A force of change. hold on this reminds me of a great meme from the official discord I'm going to go nab for ya.
Yeah thats the shit. that'll work for now.
Ideologically Ariane doesn't seem to really behold herself to any one ideology or god. She seems to want whats best for geilinor and its people. She opposes tyranny and cruelty. She also doesn't seem to be all to fond of institutional power. She also doesn't really seem to abide by shunning any kind of knowledge on the grounds of it being forbidden or dangerous. This open mindedness, I feel, could make for really really interesting dialogue with Moia. Actually discussing and dissecting whatever zamorakian ideals moia believes in (and by 'whatever' don't mean to be dismissive. rather i'm referring to how there can be so many different permutations on what being 'zamorakian' means. Appropriate!)
Think the little cutaway conversations between Jessika and Korasi.
Ik when i phrased it as ariane/moia i was evoking shipping but it doesnt need to be romantic. Not at all. I just think, if written well, these two characters could be used to explore many a fun idea!
I did evoke shipping on purpose though! Because lbr, these two could end up end up despising each other just as much as they could get along. I like the idea of there being romantic tension in the mix. The more that could be there better echoes the potential. the chaos. and isnt that what all this is about?
Could say more but I don't wanna. Its been years since i last put these ideas to words and I also want to go do slayer now. hit me up off anon if you'd like to discuss more though!
EDIT: FORGOT TO MENTION i also intentionally wanted to plant the idea of ariane/moia because i think them being involved romantically would be a very entertaining 'its complicated' affair. perhaps even of the toxic yuri variety people seem so fond of. But thats just me.
#runescape#was considering asking you to come off anon but i decided no. no i will say all this publicly#i will say all this tipsy and badly and in general terms. i will plant this seed
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hi love 💕 SO IK I SAID SCHOOL ENDED BUT I NEED TO TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED ON THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL CAUSE OH MY GOD IT WAS LIKE REALLY UNEXPECTED! okay theres kinda a lot so just be ready and idk if everything makes sense 😭
so I like this guy who imma call tiger (thats his codename 😭😭) and tiger and i have a mutual friend who imma call (A) and (A) was dating this girl named (H) but the thing is that (A) didnt really like (H) in the first place but still they dated for like 4 months until someone made up a rumor about (A) cheating on (H) EVEN THO HE DIDNT⁉️⁉️ but anyway (H) broke up with (A) but (A) didnt really care since he never really liked (H) in the first place and only dated her because he felt bad cause she had gotten rejected before
so then like a day or two after they had broken up im sitting down on a bench outside and (A) comes up to me and is like “you have competition for tiger, you see that girl over there?” and he points at (H) and i was just like “wait what? didnt you guys just break up?” and he was like “yeah but someone i know is trying to set up tiger and (H)” because earlier in the year tiger had a girlfriend (who didnt go to our school) but they were toxic and like always on and off so he broke up with her
but anyway fast forward to lunch i walked out of class to go to the courtyard because thats where me and my friends meet up so i went to our specific bench because we always sit there while waiting for everyone before we move spots to where we actually eat (ik its weird) BUT YK WHAT I SEE WHEN I GET TO THE BENCH?? TIGER AND (H) WERE SITTING THERE TOGETHER. AT MY SPOT. LIKE REALLY?? I WAS PISSED CAUSE THEY COULD’VE GONE ANYWHERE ELSE BUT NO THEY DECIDED TO COME TO MY SPOT WHERE THEY KNEW I WAS GONNA BE?? oh yeah tiger knows i like him cause he found out at the very beginning of like september
okay anyway when my friends get to the bench they see tiger and (H) and they are all just like “wtf?” because they’re like all kinda friends with (H) and stuff so like for 15 minutes while we’re waiting for everyone else to show up tiger and (H) are just sitting there AT OUR FUCKING BENCH 😭
okay so now skip to when we move spots so we can eat tiger and (H) also get up and move to a different spot bc all the couples go there and like where all the couples go is right across from our eating spot 😭 okay so anyway (wow i say okay a lot) like all of my friends notice im kinda down bc the guy i like is literally across from us with his arm wrapped around some random girl and they’re all like “bambi are you alright?” LIKE DO YOU THINK I’D BE ALRIGHT? I MEAN IK YOU’RE TRYING TO HELP BUT DO YOU RLLY THINK I’D BE ALRIGHT AFTER WATCHING THE GUY I’VE LIKED FOR MONTHS BEING ALL TOUCHY TOUCHY W SOME GIRL 😭
also the reason why it was rlly unexpected is because tiger and (H) have literally never interacted until that day and they had literally no classes together AT ALL. and then theres me who had all my classes with him 🧍
OKAY BUT WHAT HAPPENED AFTER LUNCH WAS CRAZY BECAUSE SO I HAVE THIS FRIEND (C) WHO IS FRIENDS WITH TIGERS OLDER SISTER AND (C) TOLD ME THAT TIGERS SISTER DOESNT LIKE (H) AND THAT SHE’D HONESTLY PREFER ME WITH TIGER RATHER THAN TIGER WITH (H) BECAUSE IM NICER AND WE’D JUST LOOK BETTER TOGETHER 😭😭 im actually going crazy how did i get the sisters approval 😭
okay but you wanna know like the really crazy part? tiger doesnt like me, BUT A BUNCH OF HIS FRIENDS HAVE HAD A THING FOR ME 😀😀 like his friend JJ is always touchy with me like he hugs me and wraps his arm around my shoulder 😭 i honestly cant tell if hes tryna make tiger jealous or not 🧍and then his other friend (E) has had a crush on me since last year and even asked for my number, and their other friend (Y) gave me chocolates on valentines day 😭 i honestly feel rlly bad tho cause like i’ve kinda just left them all hanging because im so caught up on tiger 😭
BUT THE THING IS TIGER ISNT EVEN ALL THAT AND I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY I LIKE HIM ATP AND I DONT EVEN WANT TO LIKE HIM ANYMORE 😭😭 why must feelings be feelings 😞😞
anyway thats all! also i LOVE blinded by love it’s literally so good 😭🫶🫶
-🦌♡
HEY BAMBI DEAR!! im sorry for only responding now😣😣😣been a bit busy this weekend!! I HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD WEEKEND!!❤️❤️❤️❤️
NGL READING ALL OF THAT DID MAKE SENSE CUS WHAT THE FUCK???????? thats so messed up😭😭😭i hope tiger knows he lost a bad bitch fr🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽ALSO I HATE THAT😭😭like when you date someone or say yes to going on a date with someone cus you feel bad 😭its so easy to lead them on with that yk?? i also understand their perspective on the situation. SITTING AT YOUR SPOT TOO??? thats def some sorta plan they have going on CUS LIKE???????? theres no way thats a coincidence 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣no but actually wtf, wasn’t H like in love with A or some shit too?????? but no i would also be angry cus?????????????????
THE SIBLINGS APPROVAL ALWAYS EATS I SWEAR😭😭😭like theres this guy ik and my brother’s girlfriend is friends with him,, now he has a younger brother who i lowk like and he thinks me n him would be like perfect. 😭and im like KSNCISLFJDJ????? im not complaining 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️STOP PLS DO THAT TIKTOK “who was there for you after we stopped talking?” “YOUR FRIEND” I SWEAR ILL LAUGH😭😭😭😭😭😭😭cus literally, but his friends are goated to like you frfr as they SHOULDDDDD.
no bc mid guys >>>>>> i forever stand by that,, OR EVEN UGLY HOT GUYS🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭idk like something about them fr😣😣😣
THANK YOU SM FOR ENJOYING BLINDED BY LOVE🥹❤️😘😘😘😘ily bambi!! stay safe :))
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actually fuck it ik literally no one asked but here r some concepts for the fucked up roommates au aka scourge and fiona become roomies w surge and kit (mostly just some background info on how the wound up in the idwverse + the characters relationships/dynamics w each other)
so BASICALLY im thinking that the super genesis wave that forced the archie comics to reboot didnt actually DESTROY the multiverse, or at least not all of it; but it did cause the multiverse to shatter, and for certain characters to get scattered around and wind up in universes that r not their own. but ofc, scourge and fiona are used to this. what theyre NOT used to is not being in control of their own dimension-hopping and being unable to get back, especially since their homeworld as they knew it was essentially destroyed. they have nowhere else to go and just wander around trying to figure out where they are. ofc, when they find out that sonic exists in this world too, they become EXTREMELY annoyed. scourge in particular wants revenge, and if he cant have revenge on archie!sonic, he may as well have revenge on this worlds sonic.
thats when they somehow stumble across surge and kit (havent figured out how exactly they meet yet lol) and quickly find out they share the same goal. they actually get into a fight at first, but end up having to call it a draw due to their similar strengths. they eventually get to talking abt how much they fucking hate sonic and this leads to them deciding to team up--for now.
surge is, at first, frustrated to learn that theres another sonic. but ofc, when he tells her abt his world and what hes trying to accomplish, she realizes how similar they are and agrees to form a team w him. theyre basically frienemies and each of them plans to betray the other at some point since they each want to be the one to kill sonic, but for now theyre making ends meet. meanwhile, surge and fiona have kind of a weird flirty thing going on. at first, surge isnt sure how to respond to fiona flirting with her, since thats never happened to her before, but she quickly starts to return the flirting simply bc it pisses scourge off. this has lead to her and scourge getting into more than a few fights, but it never escalates to anything super devastating....at least, not yet it hasnt.
scourge, as i said before, is primarily motivated by revenge. he knows he most likely wont be able to return to his homeworld, or the world that archie!sonic comes from, so hes decided to make lemons into lemonade and try a fresh start w a new quest for power. he respects surge’s abilities and thinks its hilarious how she almost killed sonic. he sees her as a powerful ally, even if, again, he plans on betraying her once he gets close to killing sonic. it pisses him off how she and fiona flirt with each other tho, but fiona assures him its just teasing and that shes still loyal to him. he mostly ignores kit, seeing him as a doormat who just happens to have a very useful power. he knows not to mess w him in front of surge, and mostly just talks to her abt anything he might want kit to know. he doesnt see kit as being as important as surge and views him more as an asset than anything else.
fiona is fascinated by this new world and, like scourge, wants an opportunity to try again at the whole “taking over the multiverse” thing. shes largely amused by surge and kit as a group, but has different opinions on each of them individually. she flirts with surge mostly bc she likes to make scourge jealous (bc shes a toxic girlboss and likes when hes possessive over her), but she would be lying if she said she didnt have at least some romantic interest in her. but she assures scourge that shes still loyal, and she has no plans to actually act on her interest in surge beyond playful teasing. kit, however, she is the most amused by. she likes to bully him (behind surges back ofc) bc he reminds her of tails--or, at least, her universe’s version of tails, when she knew him. she often calls him things like “twerp” and “brat” and talks down to him. she knows kit wont tell on her bc he doesnt want to ruin the alliance bc its important to surge, and she exploits that. unknown to surge and kit, shes been trying to search for the rest of the destructix, but she hasnt had any luck in finding them; its currently unknown whether they even survived the super genesis wave, let alone wound up in the same universe as them.
kit does not like scourge and fiona, but bc surge doesnt seem to mind them, he ofc does nothing abt his dislike of them bc he doesnt want to disappoint surge. hes better at brushing off scourge’s treatment of him bc he doesnt go out of his way to bully him like fiona does. hes especially nervous abt fiona, but he again wont tell surge abt her behavior bc he knows surge is romantically interested in her. overall he distrusts scourge and fiona heavily, but bc he trusts surge more than anyone else in the world, he puts his faith in her, does what she says, and tries his best to toughen up and ignore their rudeness. poor kit is just kind of the doormat of the group unfortunately :(
#vanilla talks#sth#roommates au#thats what im calling this. idk if ill ever do anything else w it but there u go
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I posted 106 times in 2022
That's 106 more posts than 2021!
12 posts created (11%)
94 posts reblogged (89%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@raspberrysgod
@iahfy
@pien-art
@synne-i
@dxbzpp
I tagged 85 of my posts in 2022
Only 20% of my posts had no tags
#q - 12 posts
#kyalin - 10 posts
#lok - 9 posts
#tlok - 9 posts
#korrasami - 8 posts
#the legend of korra - 7 posts
#korra - 7 posts
#avatar - 6 posts
#bopal - 4 posts
#wuko - 4 posts
Longest Tag: 133 characters
#it is funny how so many people hate it for simply not being as good when giving things that arent perfect a shot is kinda a big theme
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
the original soundtracks for both ATLA and TLOK are indeed excellent. dont mind me just vibing to left my heart in republic city because wow
6 notes - Posted July 2, 2022
#4
i wish we got more ikki content, especially season four ikki. she was like a mix of korra and aang but more hyper cause she couldnt let out steam via all four elements
7 notes - Posted July 29, 2022
#3
They really said “Korra era movie” like what do you mean by era. is this about other people? is this the krew finally having their filler fun time episodes in the form of a feature length film? will it be story driven and move the world-building further? like what-
11 notes - Posted July 10, 2022
#2
like, ik we all rightly praise and analyze b4 korra’s mental state, but the thing that sorta never gets talked about is how that was more of a culmination and a breaking point. by b1 a radio transmission from amon would cause something close to if not an actual panic/anxiety attack. oh yeah, and night terrors, that symbolism and subtext in the cliff scene, her very skewed sense of self-worth... then b2 adds onto this and shows her lashing out. it isnt pretty. she’s in the wrong. but its not too far off. the situation with the water tribes has her cravng control and some reason for why everything is going wrong. because her sefl worth relies on doing her job right and because she is unable to due to the actions of bad people, she lashes out against mako and blames him. while somewhat warranted, it was generally undeserved and also highlighted the effects of either her natural inability to interact with people or one that was exacerbated by her upbringing under a rather toxic mindset. b3 has her mostly at her happiest. she is with people, which is good for her, unlike her default response to anything upsetting, which is to isolate. things are still messed up, but she has a support system. she cant see the consequences until it hits her in the back of the head and repressed trauma bubbles up again on top of her freshly horrifying experiences. either way, just though this was interesting idk its kinda late and im dumb so who knows
13 notes - Posted September 4, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
its so funny how the avatar is a mega-powerful spiritual leader and combat powerhouse but they are also the biggest dorks of their team
67 notes - Posted June 19, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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