“Suru on eläin, jota ei voi koskaan kesyttää kokonaan.” ... “Ilves nostaa päätään ja tuijottaa minua. Se räpyttää silmiään kerran, toisen. Niissä hehkuu Maan auringon kadotettu valo, joka siilautuu vihreiden lehtien läpi. Sen sisuksista nousee matala, vaimea kehräys. Se näykkäisee sylissäni lepäävän käteni syrjää kevyesti, lempeästi, nuolaisee sitten peukaloani.” — Emmi Itäranta. Kuunpäivän kirjeet

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“Grief is an animal that can never be wholly tamed.” ... “The lynx raises its head and stares at me. It blinks once, twice. In its eyes glows the lost light of Earth’s sun, filtered through green foliage. From its depths rises a low, faint purr. With its teeth it nips the back of my hand resting on my lap, lightly, gently, and then licks my thumb.” — Emmi Itäranta. The Moonday Letters. Quote tranlated by me (unofficial)

i told my friend how interesting it is that Akechi appeared immediately after they defeated Yaldabaoth, while the other phantom thieves' wishes took until after the new year to manifest and my friend said "that probably means joker was thinking of akechi the entire time they were fighting yaldabaoth, wishing he was there with them" and im NOT OKAY ANYMORE

Hello! I wanna know your take on the theory that sqh is yhr system.

I've heard different variations of this theory but I think him being the system is kinda close to him being a God since he basically changes the world and fits it to his idea. Another one Im thinking about thats cool is that the system is like a program of Qinghuas main outline and it's a part of him that's helping to bring about his initial idea. Like the system IS part of Qinghua, especially the part where he pesters the shit out of his number 1 hater. I do think it would be funny if System Shang Qinghua is giving out RIDICULOUS scenarios and rewards. Kinda like the God Shang Qinghua theory, except he's more confined to the systems way of doing things.

I would like to know exactly how luke asking annabeth to run away with him went down.

I WANT WRITING PROOOOMPTSSSSSS

I like. Am not immune to thoughts about lonelniess and romance and what not but tbh honestly tbh a MUCH bigger part of my brain space is dedicated to thinking about the doctor who 60th anniversary special

They really made that cats whole personality My Wife Is Dead

I might make this because screw it, why not

alright, i have come to the decision i am keeping this blog up as an archive and leaving the gt tumblr community for the foreseeable future.

when i made my post about chamomile-g-tea’s damaging treatment of my story, gtms, my goal was to acknowledge the situation so i could hopefully move forward and restore gtms/my blog as mine again, without her influence. and while i anticipated backlash, some of the responses were just...downright disturbing. lots of comments echoed a victim-blaming sentiment that i am responsible for the emotional and creative damage done to me by another person because ‘why didn’t you just say no or tell her to stop?’ not only does this ignore the several attempts i did make to express discomfort and set boundaries—which were not respected—but even if i didn’t manage to express a ‘no’, that doesn’t make what happened ok; it doesn’t erase the year of crippling pressure and guilt i lived with and still struggle to shake daily. realizing that so many people in this community think otherwise is just...disturbing. it’s disturbing. that’s the only word i can think to use.

the response to all this does not make me feel safe being here—that’s what this situation has unfortunately showed me: that the audience i hoped to allow to view my reclaiming process would also contain the same crowd who make me feel so unsafe—and why the fuck would i let those people see something as personal as that? why would i let them see anything? it’s made me understand i can’t continue to heal myself and my writing if i am posting it for other people, especially harmful people. and even though it turned out this way, i’m glad i gave it a shot; that i made that post as an effort to see if it was even possible or worth it to restore this space—even if the answer was no! absolutely fucking not!—because it saved me from even more time spent sharing my work with people who do not respect me as a person or a creator. i’m glad i tried, however much it sucked, because it allowed me to understand: it is not just one person in this community i feel unsafe with, but a solid percentage of the community at large that i just cannot healthily engage with, and no amount of blocking will fix that.

but of course this is not the only situation that showed me this community’s true colors—the dismissive or outright aggressive response to the calling out of racism in our tropes has also been deeply disturbing. to clarify, there is no problem in identifying with and finding comfort or catharsis in problematic tropes such as the pet trope, but there is a problem with using that comfort to make others feel unsafe and speak over people of color. and the solution to this trope problem is very simple—generally apply critical thinking skills to the media you enjoy, and tag your shit properly (dead dove, particularly when the giant owner/abuser doesn’t face consequences and/or if the abused/abuser fall in ‘love’—dead dove is not actually currently used in this community, that’s the problem). but rather than taking this as an opportunity to listen and improve, it was instead used as a chance to lash out at and make clear that poc are not welcome in this community and come secondary to the feelings of white creators and readers.

over the last few years, this community has fostered and been exposed for bigotry such as terfs, ableists, racists, etc, and especially in the current political era, this is no longer a community i want to share my work with or even just lurk in. and i know on the surface this community seems progressive, but take a better look and you’ll find members of the community doing and saying…questionable things, or keeping quiet and enabling their friends who do and say questionable things because they would rather be passive and polite than be genuinely kind and compassionate through active accountability.

of course this is the risk you take interacting with any person ever—but it’s especially taxing to look around at such a small, close knit community you know is riddled with these problems and wonder if the people making innocent posts are actually harmful; if they prioritize their comfort over the safety of marginalized people, if they even see you as a full person, and for me, personally—if they are willing to overlook consent to blame you for your trauma and defend the person who inflicted it. it’s taxing to explain basic basic concepts to strangers over and over in a place that prides itself on being a safe space, where people just have fun and mentally escape from irl hardships. it’s taxing to ride out shitty, hateful treatment when you are just simply one person (voluntarily providing free services btw) with only so much energy and fucks to give. it is not worth the strain it puts on you as a person, nor is it your responsibility to sit there and accept it, and i am not the only creator in this community who feels this way. we are fucking tired.

quite simply, this is not a community i feel comfortable participating in or sharing anything with. and that’s a shame, because there are wonderful, creative and caring people here who i have enjoyed sharing this space with, and maybe someday i’ll give this community another chance, but currently it’s just not worth the time of day. and i want to make it clear: my leaving is not simply because of just one person or just one situation—that i could handle—it is the community itself that is the root problem; that continues to be harmful, in multiple contexts—that is the reason why i and several other creators are leaving for greener pastures and more enjoyable communities—or just simply for a fucking moment’s worth of peace, because lord knows you won’t find it here.

kuroo, daishou, and mika are all children of divorce. i feel it in my bones

by virtue of the GM having to play every NPC in contrast to every player having their one, it's fascinating the relationship dynamics this sets up in character throughout the narrative

shut UPPPPPPPPPPP someone just put the clip of tiny manticore telling betty "maybe you're going after someone who doesn't exist anymore" with simon trying to bring back betty back ohhhh i feel sick

was on ao3 searching for hearteyesturner’s fics and losing my marbles only remembering louella the oc and was so validated they were real seeing your post! so sad they’re no longer uploading, rlly were phenom :((

Glad I was able to prove they were real lol! But yeah it's a shame they took their stuff down, loved their writing. Though I loved the story of lou and al my fav would have to be the vampire story they were writing.

Anyway, just want to post about how I recently expressed my distress that a person who sexually assaulted me still had an obviously masturbatory story extant on a big internet fandom thing... through finding relevant Discord forums and expressing my distress at that story’s existence (and its absolutely not being necessary to the canon), I managed to get that removed.

The person who assaulted me is still an inexorable part of this fandom I actually love. However... I know for a fact he would hate most of the ways that people interpret him now, so I am not hurt by that. I fucking love it.

But I just really thought his weird sex fantasies shouldn’t be on the wiki, and I’m thrilled that one was removed because I brought it up. The SCP site used to be run by pretty shitty people, including the guy who assaulted me... the current people are pretty great actually, and they have my approval.

sometimes when you're stuck in a chapter you have to accept that deleting 2k words of it is the best choice.

trying soo hard to shut up abt the way barry’s character was handled in the post-coma seasons but the more i think abt it the more pissed off i get what in gods name were they thinkingggg