#is this me projecting my own trauma onto one of my blorbos? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

snarkylinda · 1 year

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I should be studying, showering, sleeping, doing literally anything else but instead, I am going to do a long post about a mentally ill blorbo because I am mentally ill myself.

SO! We all make fun of Spencer let me take my vest off and lower my gun for no reason Reid, it's a meme at this point- but that....tendency is a consequence of what I find the most fascinating about his character as a whole....his relationships- or more like, the relationships he makes up in his head.

Before I go into details I want to leave something very clear that anyone that has seen even one season of the funny cop show has noticed: Spencer is highly obsessive.

Now I am not talking about his fun little facts or that he likes star streak and doctor who obsession- those are hyperfixations, and even tho MY hyperfixation it's ruining my life, his are actually harmless and overall make him happy.

His obsessive nature had almost cost him his career, if not his life, multiple times.

If you stop to think about it in depth, why does Reid abandon all common sense when it comes to certain UnSubs, certain cases? well the most evident answer is that he projects whatever trauma of the week they decide to explore onto them- and yes, that is the nick of things. He pulled that stunt on Elephant's memory because he related to Owen's harassment story, he wanted to help Nathan because he understood being afraid of your own mind turning against you, he wanted to help Adam because he couldn't save Tobias. You get the drill- but....that is not always the case.

With the guy that Lindsey's dad murdered- Spencer didn't relate to him, he was just a piece of shit. How about Samantha? (I know there is a theory about William....doing shit to Reid when he was younger and while I can see it, for the sake of argument I will take her case into consideration) The father of the victim on "Identity"? I can name another example but this one I am going to save for last since it's the reason for me making this post-

And one can argue "Well, he is just a really nice guy" and while that is true- what I named before doesn't always apply, Spencer's compassion has a very clear, marked limit.

His relationships.

When Cyrus was killed in front of him by Morgan, Reid barely blinked- hell, he fucking SASSED him. Why? because he hurt Emily.

All sympathy he could have had for Cat before she ruined his life DESPITE kind of empathizing with her story based on what HE was going through went out of the window because she and her lil gang terrorized Penelope for months.

He felt compassion for Adam, but not for his father who he claimed was the true monster of this story in the aftermath.

When Maeve told her her ex was dead, he quickly brushed that aside to ask her if SHE was alright.

And ofc, we all know what happened in prison after his friend there was murdered.

Reid is often associated with UnSubs not only because of how his backstory aligned with their motivations (mental health issues, bullying, absent parent, losing a loved one) but because most of these crimes are passional responses- and Spencer can be extremely passional, to a point where it clouds his judgment.

Now...you might be thinking "ok that is all nice and good, but where does the obsession come into play? all that I know is that he is a cinnamon roll that loves his friends and has some really deep projection issues he really needs to work on" and you are not wrong, but what made me make this fucking thesis in the first place its something else....one of my favorite things to analyze about fictional characters in this kind of setting it's "the needs of one vs the greater good" thing.

Now let's be fr, we all as human beings will always, ALWAYS prioritize those close to us over literal strangers. Even among the best, most empathic people that is just how it is, that emotional hierarchy will always be there- what differentiates us is how much it affects our actions.

Now with a job like this, there will always be this conflict among the menbers- obviously, their families and even each other will always be a priority, but on working hours their focus HAS to be on doing their job, following the rules and just being as professional as humanly possible- even tho it sometimes kills them inside since it just doesn't feels right.

Reid actually doesn't face this debate that much- because all common sense, respect for authority and protocol goes out of the fucking window whenever he obsesses over a new blorbo lmao.

Had you heard the phrase "One death is a tragedy, a hundred is a statistic"? nothing rings more true that with Dr. Reid right here. He is able to keep his cool while touching mangled corpses and discussing all the shit that happened to them- occasionally looking horrified if it's messed up enough, but other than that he is able to keep the same level of professionalism and compartmentalization as his co-workers.

Annnnnnd then he gets to know a victim, a witness, or an unsub and the vest leaves his torso, his gun folds itself and his IQ lowers. Alot.

Let's get back to the example I put of the guy that was murdered by Lindsey's dad- in that moment he wasn't a murderer to Reid, in that moment all he saw was a teenager begging for his life and HE could be the only to save him- he couldn't. He obsessed over that instead of what the guy did and that lead him to desire to insert Diluid inside of him after 10 months of sobriety, not to mention being A BIG factor in what he does on Elephant's Memory.

"I thought I could save this one" was his response when Hotch scolded him.

Spencer literally can't forget shit. So he tries to make sure that when he knows someone, even if is on a dying moment like the mentioned UnSub, he can save them. He forms some kind of bond with someone and they stop being an face and a name adhered to his board that he is determined to save/get justice for because is his literal job and he is overall a good person. In his mind, it becomes his responsibility whenever that person it's saved, and when that crosses over obsessive territory and his job, that makes it mandatory to always put the need of the many vs the one (especially if it's an unsub) well....

It's when he spiral and puts his career/the case in jeopardy at best, and his life at worst, no to mention what that shit does to his already questionable mental health.

In the second ep of the tenth season, Reid confesses to Morgan that after killing the LDSK, it suddenly hit him and he obsessed over all the "what ifs", at that moment that guy wasn't the LDSK that almost got him, his boss and a hospital full of mortal hostages in danger- he was the man that Spencer Reid killed- and it only ended when he stopped obsessed over HIM and started to put his victim's faces on his wall, forcing his focus on them instead.

He was more focused on the father of the victim on "identity" than the actual unsub himself because years before he had stopped him from seeing his daughter, and had made enough of an impact to be remembered by him in the present. Thanks to that bond, that little relationship, Spencer was able to put himself between a highly emotional distraught father's gun and the man he wanted to kill, to protect him.

He didn't get to personally know Samantha until the end- but he got to meet the scumbag that raped her. Add that to the already soft spot he has for children and you have a very angry Reid ready to do literally anything to make sure this woman that didn't even knew him was safe.

And ironically enough, what prompt me to do this thesis wasn't even one of those nice touchy feeling moments Spencer had with someone he bonded over- either personally or on a parasocial level- but one where he was wrong, but was about to risk a whole case over it. Rock Creek Park.

In that episode, Spencer and this other girl are keeping watch over this mafia thing so this politician guy's wife cane come back (as you can see I pay attention to certain scenes more that others lmao) and you can see the exact moment where the mission....stops being Spencer's priority.

After hearing this girl's conversation with her mother, she stopped being "the maid" and became someone Spencer's "knows" and so this leads to....this

....why did I bother with that text block when this scene spills it out- Anyways.

I dunno why but Rossi's reaction always sends me to the stratosphere- he knows.

Anyways, turns out that the helpless maid was actually on it all along and Reid almost throws the entire case off over nothing- *slows clap*

Ok ok, this might seem like I am slandering my boy but as fun as it is to make fun of him, this is exactly why I love him. This recklessness as a result of tunnel vision it's....concerning considering his line of work, and his eagerness to go far and beyond for someone he barely knows just because he knows them, above everything else and he is there, and can't bare the thought of not doing anything for them., to have their death's imprinted on his memory.

In conclusion- he ain't lawful good/neutral like the first few episodes want to make you think, he is chaotic good. And a mess. And I love him.

#criminal minds #spencer reid

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quinloki · 8 months

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I’mma muse about some stuff and it’s going to get a little lot dark so please tread carefully.

Topics will include assault, trauma, trauma processing, projection, and messy healing.

And oddly enough, it all started with realizing what defining moment it was that made Marco my #1 blorbo over Eustass Kid.

I love Eustass Kid - from canonical character to head canon king, I just love him. He is, as I’ve said, to me the quintessential dom - the quintessential Kinkster. Maybe it’s the aesthetic, or the misfits of the misfits vibe his entire crew has going on, or maybe I’m just projecting my own ideal onto a big beef cake.

Of all the mental/emotional deep dives I could go on, I’m not here to muse on that.

I realized Marco had overtaken Kid for me when I found myself craving dark fics with Marco. Not the kind where he’s being dark, the kind where Teach has his face in the dirt and his ass in the air and is threatening to slaughter all the survivors if Marco struggles against him.

And I realized that one of the biggest reasons for that - and I think most dark content - is the validation it provides. That the things I survived weren’t as avoidable as I used to believe, they were neither my fault nor within my control.

It’s a validation that even strong people can be victims and being one doesn’t make you weak or worth less.

It provides a way to navigate the healing after ward, and because we see the darkest parts of the trauma we can see the messiest parts of that healing too. The good days that weave between the neutral ones that are tied down by the awful ones.

The validation that healing is messy. For our heroes as much as for us, for the people we admire and disdain.

And fiction, fan fiction especially with the added layer of connection I feel that exists, let’s us apply those traumas not just from the hands of villains, but also heroes, such as they may exist in the original world. Good guys can do bad things - the person your community exalts Can be the villain who hurt you. The delinquent who broke your nose can also be the one who pulls you from a burning building.

We are complex.

It’s easier to process that complexity on the canvas of fictional characters sometimes than to face it directly. And I think that’s okay. I honestly think it’s wonderful - a beautiful, if not often misunderstood side effect of creativity.

And sometimes? Sometimes we break those beloved characters and end the story with them shattered. Because that could have been our end. That is the What If we hadn’t survived.

And I don’t think we’re always aware of this - I know a few people who don’t even realize how traumatized they are. They’re flippant, coping with humor, about things that make your blood run cold when you hear them. Sometimes denial fuels people, and they’re okay because they’re too strong to be a victim, too functional to be broken.

So we don’t realize why that drive is there. Why we want to see certain events presented in fiction. Why it feels like relief, or why we cry at parts we wouldn’t expect to prompt tears.

But kink, fic, bdsm, etc. as long as you aren’t exploiting or harming someone real, then I don’t think there’s a single thing wrong with how dark your content gets.

(If you start actually wanting to harm someone though, please seek professional help. Your fantasy/coping lines are blurring with reality and you’re gonna need external assistance carving that line back into place.)

But, odd as it is, to me, bad things don’t happen to Kid (I mean the canon material beats him up enough as well). Kid’s the rock that weathers everything so his crew stays protected. So *I* stay protected. Even if he was broken he’d never admit to it, not in any way that would lead to processing it and healing from it.

But to me, he doesn’t break.

Marco can. But Marco can also heal from it, and I’m not talking about his Devil fruit. I’m talking about wounds you can’t just bandage or regenerate. He’s strong, so strong, but he’s been through the ringer, and you only need to apply a little more pressure… and then heal with him afterward.

That makes him, to me personally, more relatable. And thus back to the seemingly innocuous reason for this - that’s why he’s my #1.

#quin muses #mentions of assault #trauma #trauma processing #projecting #musing on the need for and important of dark content

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aquilathefighter · 1 year

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PTSD Hob

(DISCLAIMER: i am not a mental health professional; this is me projecting my own PTSD onto my blorbo)

I personally have seen a lot of PTSD Dream which, understandable, he did very much go through multiple traumatic events and not process his grief and divorce and everything

But I'd like to talk about Hob with PTSD.

Just one of his early (first ~300 years) life experiences would be enough trauma. The Black Death. Being a soldier & mercenary. Losing your wife and unborn child in one fell swoop. Starving for 80 years and being homeless.

We see him joking about deciding he's not going to die. Given his experiences at this point, this is classic joking around to cope with the daily trauma.

In 1689, he's truly in a horrible state. In active 'experiencing trauma' mode where you're in your survival state just trying to make it to the next day. His fear at being manhandled trying to get into the White Horse.

Again, I have to think 1889 and 1989 contribute to his trauma as we see him try to reach out and get rejected. Extremely painful for those with complex trauma especially. And then the excessive drinking in 1989 and the wealth of emotions he experiences that night, almost seeming like mood swings. All very relatable through my eyes.

But Aquila, you may say, isn't PTSD associated with depression and suicidality? Sure. But I think Hob's desire to keep living could be considered a response to everything he's seen. To me, one of the major ways to cope is finding wonderful things to keep living for, even in your darkest days. Ale to drink and women to swive, you get the picture. If you've seen that much death, you're not ready to join them even if the pictures replay in your head over and over.

I also imagine he becomes interested in psychological research somewhere along the way, probably post-WWII? And especially as research develops to accept traumas outside of soldiering, he begins to realize that he's not alone in not being able to mentally handle all that he's seen. Maybe he trains as a psychologist for some time or gets linked in with one on his way into academia.

He finds someone he thinks he can trust to reveal his immortality to so he can finally start processing 600-odd years of life. He learns that he's not broken or possessed by the devil and can find new ways to quiet his mind that don't involve substance abuse.

I think by 2022 and Dream's reappearance he is beginning to heal some of the hurt, and reconnecting with Dream certainly helps his nervous system ease its fear of abandonment.

#cw suicide #PTSD #hob gadling #ask to tag #headcanons #cw substance abuse #sorry this kinda got dark?? uhhhh im having some feelings about my brain

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princeescaluswords · 10 months

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13, 14, 15

These answers are for the "Choose Violence Ask Game" so I assume that they're meant to be provocative.

13. worst blorboficiation

This one is easy: ARMITAGE HUX.

When The Force Awakens came out in 2015, General Hux was mildly prominent among the minor characters. He gave a speech, gave Kylo Ren side-eye, and supervised the destruction of billions of people and their civilization. Other than that, he was not-a-bad-looking man with red hair who could fill out a suit who was on the screen for a smidge over four minutes in an 138-minute movie.

And the fandom blorbo-ed the shit out of him.

It mystified me then; it mystifies me now. Hux was clearly intended to be a hollow man, someone so eager to attach himself to any vision of something greater that he was a willing -- enthusiastic! -- participant in genocide. He was the type of soulless bureaucrat that fascist regimes have always needed to accomplish their goals. In his total of twelve minutes of screen time, the only thing that kept him from being nothing more than an animated Nazi-esque mannequin was his annoyance with Kylo Ren's antics and the fact that in the end he was unsurprisingly revealed to be a spineless incompetent.

Of course, someone could say that him a blank slate onto which people could project their desires, and the only way I can respond to that cliché is with another cliché: "That's worse. You get how that's worse, right?"

There are literally dozens of minor characters who are far more of a blank slate than a man who could have been in charge of the coat-check at the Wannsee Conference. But the 'worst' part is: that's the point. It's somehow liberating to certain people to dabble with the forbidden, to take the absolute worse examples of humanity and hug them to their breast, as long as there's just enough distance between him and real life that they feel no one can call them out on it. And that he's a young white man.

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time

The Trauma Olympics is not only a terrible way to view the characterizations in your favorite media property, but it's also hypocritical as hell. At these games, the judges always cheat.

I want to be clear. I'm not talking about when fanfictions explore the traumas that serve to establish characterization, even when these traumas create monsters and villains. It's fascinating to see how identity and character can buckle under the force of an excruciating experience.

No, what I'm talking about is when trauma is used as a tool to distort the narrative into something it was never intended to be. The Trauma Olympics can be used to dehumanize or decentralize heroic protagonists because they didn't allow trauma to upend their moral character, which is what makes them a heroic protagonist. The Trauma Olympics can be used to cloak antagonists or outright villains as the true victims because their reactions to what shaped them are not healthy. Comparing one trauma to another creates a scale whose sole purpose is to make characters more or less valid, and that denies the essential individuality of all characters. If a story governs the arc of all characters by an arbitrary scale of the severity of their pain, it's simply bad writing.

And it's arbitrary. Context is stripped at will from pre-existing stories in order to increase or decrease their final scores. It turns a fanfiction story into propaganda; it can't help but do that.

Let me give you an example. I can't tell how many times in my own fandom, Scott, the protagonist, is castigated for not treating one villain EXACTLY like he treated the other villains. Peter-stans write stories where Scott is a hypocrite for treating Theo with more mercy; Theo-stans write stories where Scott is a hypocrite for treating Peter with more mercy. Peter got sent to a low-quality mental health facility and imprisoned with a deranged psychic, while Theo got sent to a discount punishment realm by appropriated demigods, and yet both argue with equal fervor of the unfairness of that comment, with no analysis of why this happened. Only the pain inflicted on their blorbos matter and that pain is seen as undermining the narrative when compared to others.

Or another example -- the fandom loves to excoriate Scott, the heroic protagonist, when he grabbed Derek by the back of the neck and forced him to bite Gerard, the villain, as part of a ruse to defeat the old bastard. You see, Derek was a victim of sexual assault six years ago, and this had to be triggering to his trauma. Scott is monstrous because he used sexual assault (it wasn't) against a survivor (of something which Scott didn't know about) and profane a sacred ritual of Derek's family (which the Bite isn't -- just ask Jackson Whittemore and Victoria Argent) as part of his scheme (and not because the villain threatened to kill his love). And yet, this same fandom remains adamantly silent when Peter Hale, as part of a scheme to gain power and kill the heroic protagonist, leads that very same Derek (his nephew) into an ambush arranged by the woman who sexually assaulted Derek as part of a deception designed to ambush and kill their family. It doesn't even occur to them to note the hypocrisy -- if the Trauma Olympics makes Scott a terrible person, than Peter should win the Gold Medal. Yet I've never seen it dealt with in fanfiction.

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

I love fanart. I wish I could make it, but my lack of talent is a difficulty I have yet to overcome. But what always disappoints me is when an iconic and important image about a character-- often romantic -- is repurposed in fanart to serve as an iconic image between a different character in the same property. It just seems to me unnecessary, unimaginative, and demeaning to the original character.

For example, one of the promo shots for Season 3A of Teen Wolf has Scott standing in the front of the cast. Some artist exerted a lot of effort to rearrange the photo to put Stiles in the front. It was a lot of work, a lot of talent, and it was used in the worst possible way. Or when the upside down kiss from Spider-Man is used in the same fandom. It just strikes me as cheap.

#fandom problems #ask game #star wars fandom problems #teen wolf fandom problems #fandom racism

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amazinglyegg · 2 years

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any general headcanons for carrington ?

he is . my favorite fictional man rn . hope you don't mind me taking advantage of the fact that you like him as well and your asks always being open BKDCJSXBSN

Dude I LOVE seeing you in my asks dw!!! I haven't thought about my blorbo Carrington in so long I'm going to have fun with this <3<3<3

Doctor Carrington Headcanons!

Okay let's get this out of the way: he's not just an asshole for the sake of being an asshole!

The dude's so damn stressed all the time! Especially after what happened at Switchboard, he feels responsible because he's the second in command

That's one of the reasons Des trusts him so much. He's not good at lying or recon work but he is good at self-dicipline, planning, and being the only mature one.

Although I feel like he's always been a bit moody, even before all that

Given that everyone other than Des and PAM are basically children with guns (looking at you especially, Deacon) he ends up feeling like a parent to most of the other agents

And he really hates feeling like a parent

This is a bit out there so bear with me, but at some point before he joined the Railroad he managed to help a child. Maybe one who survived an Institute raid on a settlement? They were the only survivor and he took them under his wing.

Despite his best efforts the child died from a preventable cause, like an infection

It really hit him hard and despite his trauma around helping vulnerable people (especially children) he became a doctor so others wouldn't have to suffer like the kid did

Then the Railroad contacted him and you know the rest

He prefers working in the Railroad over anywhere else, though. He's very introverted and appreciates the familiar faces and quiet work environment, plus most agents tend to respect him purely because he's been working there for ten or more years

He has dyslexia. Don't know where this headcanon came from. I think it was me projecting onto him but then I made it Canon In My Mind when I vaguely mentioned it in my Carrington fic (heed the tags if you're gonna read)

He gets headaches often due to his dyslexia and the ridiculous amount of paper work he has to go through (where does Des even get all that paper and ink!?), plus a fair share of sleep deprivation, dehydration, stress...

Deep down he worries a lot for the other agents. If Glory dies (I refuse to let Glory's death be canon in my mind, hence the if) it permanently messes with him and his self worth

He gives off angry Sudoku player vibes. Glory or Des will be like "chill out it's supposed to be relaxing" and Carrington is losing his mind like "where the HELL do I put the DAMN FIVE"

A lot of fanon says him and Deacon genuinely hate each other but I really disagree

He respects Deacon a lot and recognizes that he does a lot more behind the scenes than anyone knows, but he also realizes just how much of a martyr he is and just how little he cares about his own health

In the past, whenever Deacon came back hurt or sick, Carrington would try to convince him to slow down, stop running into danger, and even open up about his problems. Needless to say it didn't work.

They've got something alike to a friendship going, though. Deacon teases him, all in good fun, and Carrington doesn't point out when he's limping around HQ, or when he "borrows" a stimpack or two from his desk. He just leaves out painkillers and antibiotics in hopes Deacon with "borrow" those, too.

I'm very... partial on his relationship with Tom or Des

I feel like Tom's got A Lot Going On and it's kinda fucky that the Railroad seemingly caused his schizophrenia (?) to develop and ignored it because they needed him?

Although if anything it sounds like Carrington was worried about his health and Des was the one to ignore it, hopefully out of ignorance and not purposfully. I can't imagine Des knowingly letting Tom fall into drug addictions and paranoia, and Carrington is vocal enough that he probably would have argued with Des if he knew it was getting that bad as well

I like to think he keeps a close eye on Tom either way. He's always trying to pick up books on mental health because he's mostly focused on physical health in his day to day life, and he's taught Tom some grounding strategies over the years.

#i know this wildly jumps between depressing and funny IM SORRY #poor guys just kinda fucked up and surrounded by goofy idiots who are also kinda fucked up #more people need to be talking about him I cant think all by myself #especially that part with des ignoring toms health?? i feel like it'd be interesting to go into when it comes to the railroads morality #focusing on synths over humans is one thing... actively harming their own agents to help their cause is different #OKAY im DONE RAMBLING im SORRY #fallout 4 #railroad #doctor carrington #desdemona #deacon #tinker tom #headcanons

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n0brainjustvibes · 8 months

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god actually having so many emotions about chris good ending and Pocket Knife. warning a very long infodump ramble and also warning this Good Ending is the one in my head.. i am not finished ward

"I'm alive, and my blood is pumping like a gas line / Got an edge I'm holding / Got an edge I'm holding."

the way they sing "I'm ali-i-ive"... man. emotions even when I don't have a blorbo to project them onto. but I think part of the identity crisis of being a clone, especially one programmed for someone else's purpose, is being unsure of your own personhood. I mean, don't we all question our personhood? (joke, I know we don't all.) Songs that celebrate being "alive" or "real" or "existing" take on this extra meaning in the context of good ending!Chris, i.e. being alive in his own right. having a self who can be alive, rather than just a body.

Also, "got an edge I'm holding"... he wouldn't be A-Okay in the good end. Some of that paranoia is sticking. Hopefully it can metamorphise into a more well-adjusted caution. I think being cautious and Aware of his surroundings/self, and maintaining privacy, would be a point of pride for him. Especially since the choice to be cautious (see: active verb, holding) is a choice he takes. See reclaiming your mind and personality after biological mind control, and suchlike.

Some of his paranoia and need for privacy is Lab Rat's Birdcage trauma, but Chris has also spent his whole life with Lab Rat looking over his metaphorical shoulder. He has his own, very real, trauma regarding surveillance and invasion/violation of privacy. This at least would stick around after casting off the Imperatives - and contribute to the aforementioned pride: "you're not taking me again". I also do think the implanted Birdcage memories would stick. The Good Ending I envision isn't getting rid of the implanted personality, more like breaking it down and digesting it and reincorporating it into one coherent personality. Just give him free will, okay, he'll handle the rest.

"It's not about how it breaks, it's how you're fixin' it"

I just wanna see my boy holding optimistic, constructive, healthy beliefs. Especially if he's still friends with Kenzie and she holds them too. They both deserve this viewpoint. It's also one that gets a lot of practical use as a Tinker.

"I got a rugged heart. I got a body made of blades / I'm gonna keep 'em sharp like a pocket knife."

Again... see everything about consciously maintaining your wits and defenses, as a healing act in itself. And see what I said about accepting and reclaiming the body and mind. "Rugged" seems like a good way to describe a personality that's weathered not one, but two highly traumatic parahuman lives. And "body made of blades" is just!! I love it as a line in its own right!! It's very evocative. Here, it works in the sense that "your body has hurt you, but you can claim and wield it to further your goals. it can become a source of strength and safety even if it is built for violence." (I was gonna say "defend and protect", but he's still a shithead even when he has a sense of self and some free will.).

Anyways, Bronze Radio Return's stuff slaps, go listen. (Everything Moves and Shake, Shake, Shake are personal favourites. And yeah, I will admit, I found them via the Sol map.)

#old old draft that I dug up because I'm listening to pocket knife again #'body made of blades' plays and i start sobbing regardless of whether or not i'm having christhoughts #god when characters are j.ust. alive!!!! and that itself is triumphant!! and revolutionary!!!#existence is worthwhile jsut to exist #that's good shit #also uhhh idk sense of self something something. vibes gets sad about clones this is not a new occurrence #ward #chris elman #chrisposting #brainrot #banger tunes for my blorbos #Spotify

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snow-and-saltea · 2 years

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for the character asks vyn diluc lumine and kaeya!!

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE thank you for giving me the chance to talk about my blorbos!!!

vyn richter:

yeah i bolded the who? one don't worry about it!! /j anyways yeah i Like this man a normal amount its not like ive written sm threads on him already yeah. i'm completely normal

except i'm NOT

i started out thinking my fave would be artem cus vyn seemed too pretentious for me at first and i still have trauma from the last time i liked a white haired and golden eyed guy in otome cus that bitch disappointed me so much i literally can't even look at him without going >:T

he's such a cool character to me, i love how contradictory he is while being completely consistent characterization wise. by contradictory i don't mean that he doesn't say what he mean or doesn't mean what he says, but the way he views himself vs how he views rosa vs how he views other people (derogatory) is quite ironic. i love how he loves rosa because she's beautiful both inside and out, in the sense that she is straight laced, honest and not mired with existential or moral complexities that stop her from being kind, realistic and faithful to her values. (in fact, when facing those moral complexities, her true character shines more because of the way she isn't stagnated by indecision or analysis-paralysis. but that's another talk for another day i could literally go on and on about her)

i like it a lot because he's both a bit of rosa in him and a bit of the cynical jadedness he dislikes in other people. as a doctor, he wants to cure his patients, and he secretly harbours some hope, at the back of his mind, that people are better than he thinks they are, that when presented the opportunity for change and growth they'll choose it— which is why i think he "tests'" rosa in his stories so much. cus he wants to see a diff outcome come from her!! to him, i feel like there's a bit of him idealism projected onto her, smth like saying: "i tried and failed, but i want to see how you do it, and what new thing you'll show me with your way of doing things." in ideals and visions, he relates to rosa.

however, in many ssr stories, and even one sr (the iconic false tears story) he shows the pettiest and most spiteful parts of himself that he's tried to keep hidden from rosa, where he indulges his egocentric beliefs that makes him feel like the things he's doing are justified, as long as the end goal is a positive net of "justice" in the world. he also sometimes shows how incredibly judgemental and harsh he can be, because he always thinks he knows better and is more objective / morally superior than other people he dislikes. in practice and methodology, he relates to the people he dislikes. it's like a mirror that shows the ugliest parts of himself. if he dislikes them like any other normal person would dislike an asshole and then move on with their life, why would that be such a big psychological trigger for him? it clearly means more to him than he tries to hide, so he tries to make a clear line separating his own "cruelty" and other people's "cruelty" and how he's better than them cus he had the right intentions in mind.

(that's not how it works btw babygirl. but issokay ur kinda fucked up i'd like to put u under a microscope)

i like how he slowly comes to realise that contradiction, too. not verbally said, but i interpret his recent growth in stories as someone who knows he's "ugly" inside and filled contempt for everyone—although sometimes he dresses his actions in a more gentlemanly or "fair" so that it's still TECHNICALLY the right thing to do even if the way he did it was unethical. at first their relationship progression was "i want her to see the most impressive parts of me" > "i want her to rely on and be influenced by me" > "i want her to know my feelings but only the ones that are peer reviewed to be palatable" > "i want her to see me for who i am and accept me, even if i can't accept the entire truth of myself". and i think that fuckign ROCKS

concluding statement: if the road to hell was paved with good intentions vyn is building a freeway. but rosa is changing his lanes!!! she changed my lanes too if u know what i mean wink wink nudge nudge

anyways yeah im mentally sound and in perfect health about vynrosa why do you ask

diluc ragnvindr:

i like him!!! iirc he was my second 5* after jean? and then i used him as a dps for a while! i wish they gave him fluffier or longer hair. i think in game diluc doesn't really do enough justice to his characterization or lore bc i feel like he looks a bit "bland" in story execution compared to the other charas. oh well, virtues and vices of being an early game chara! i like him best when he's in big brother mode and i cannot thank fanartists enough who portray him being a good big bro to the kids like klee, diona, bennett, fischl and razor. i love it!!!

lumine:

she's so goddamn FUNNY and cute?????? i like the progression of her character and her growing into her own personality in the recent quests, i think they wrote it really well. have you listened to her voice lines where she talks w paimon? they show sm of her personality and she's just so... witty and dry and sarcastic but her voice is so soft that it makes u double-back and go, "sorry, run that by me again?" i love her sm. although, i don't really interact w the fandom a lot because they're very noisy in hating her for some reason. and it gets tiring to hear TwT i get my lumine food from anng rt'ing stuff on twt or on tumblr! consuming fandom the exact way it was intended: i only see what my friends will share w me!!!

kaeya alberich:

another case of sadly being an early game chara so his execution was a bit sloppy TwT his lore is so funkin cool and his personal story and how he got his vision was, imo, the coolest and most emotionally impactful out of everyone else? ofc he and shenhe shares similar patterns in their history and how they were treated, but i think it hits harder for me bc like. GOD. overridden by guilt for the death of diluc's dad, he confronts him and tells him the truth of who he is. and at the emotional height of his life where diluc turns to fight him, he's given a vision if only to protect himself and his heart so that he can still go on and fulfill whatever "destiny" his dad had marked out for him, if he chooses that as his right.

i still think its meaningful bc even in game diluc never shows any signs that he genuinely, truthfully, dislikes kaeya. so while they still have this unspoken history between them that neither of them seem willing to talk about, there's a nostalgic and sad feeling of people who drifted apart brushing by each other time and again, and silently forgiving the other but not making it known at all. i can't find it rn but there's sm diluc and kaeya comics where its all about sibling hurt / comfort and reconciliation and making it known that they care about each other verbally, instead of accepting it as is in actions, bc they're hesitant to break the ice. GOD

#yuu rambles #JKLSFAJFKLSJFK I RAMBLED SO MUCH..... thank you for indulging me naga!!!!#tot #vyn richter #if anyone wants to be entertained look at my vyn tag you will see many funny things #genshin impact #just for recording! since i use that tag for my other gi reblogs #i spent like half an hour on the vyn part only JKFSJKLFSJK god.

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mobtism · 2 years

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for the character bingo: tome, apollo, dimple

TYSM FOR THE ASK FEL💛💛 u are awesome 😌💛

ask game

"I'M APOLLO JUSTICE AND I'M FINE‼️"

✔️ they're like a blorbo to me... LITERALLY one of my favs my guys from aa. love him a lot!

✔️ they got too much screen time... if they had put half the energy into characters other than apollo... maybe we would have an athena game.💛

✔️ theyre deeper than they seem (unfortunately)

✔️ wasted potential - he would have been a REALLY AWESOME CHARACTER if they didnt do. everything they did in aa5-aa6

✔️ i like them enough to project my own issues onto them

✔️ they work better as part of a dynamic. apollo would have been WAY BETTER if they kept the apollo-emma-klavier dynamic on some degree for at least another game.

✔️ they got done dirty by source... LITERALLY his entire character is like. fucked. they made him a trauma sponge for no reason

✔️ wow... they are LITERALLY me! added this one bc i used to sort of kin apollo bc i could relate to him but... now i dont rlly <3 but i still think hes relatable and cool

Dimple mp100!! i like that guy. heads up- im not caught up on the manga btw

✔️ i want to carry them in a handbag like a tiny dog

✔️ why do they look like that

✔️ they work better as part of a dynamic... hes not much if it werent for his relationships w/ other characters tbh

✔️ i don't really have much to say about them

TOME 💛‼️ she is literally the character of ever.

✔️ they are sooooo cool looking

✔️ they're like a blorbo to me

✔️ didn't get enough screentime (I THINK TOME DESERVES MORE OF EVERYTHING)

✔️ if they were real i would be BFFs with them. she reminds me of my real bff actually!! tome is extra special to me bc of this <3

✔️ im mentally ill about them. i see a fanart of tome and i go absolutely wild /pos

✔️ they've never done anything wrong in their life

#TY AGAIN FEL!!!!!! hoping i wasnt too negative about apollo i... im just very bitter. he was so important to me💔#🦭✨#<- your friend tag now btw <3 any tag w/ this 🪷 emoji is yours ^w^#if its 🪷 alone- its posts that remind me of u... if its '🪷✨' its posts youve made <3 #if u prefer a different emoji btw lmk !! <3 #💫

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merlin-made-me-bi · 2 years

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Sorry to hear you caught Covid! I hope you'll get through it alright! If you want to tell us about it, I'd be curious to hear about your one true Blorbo

First off, thank you 💕💕

Secondly, hell yeah! My one true blorbo: Éowyn from lord of the rings. I read the books for the first time in 4th grade and loved her. Then later I decided to project onto her. There’s just something about her arc that gets me so good. Part of the reason is that I also experienced my own Grima at home, so that really hits hard these days. Same with the trying to prove herself capable as any other Rohirrim. But on a way lighter note, I loved swords as a kid. I’d fight my neighbors with nerf swords over the nerf guns. I love daydreaming about having epic sword fights, and I got her sword tattooed on my arm last year. I could get more meta about the mental side of things, but I’d rather not delve my trauma more than I already have lol OH and her arc with Faramir?!? So freaking adorable and meaningful. And also me fangirling over then inspired my partner to make a cloak based off the one he gives her in the book. So like, I. Love. Éowyn!!!!

#lord of the rings #eowyn #eowyn of rohan

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the-quiet-fire-of-defiance · 2 years

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Maedhros for the bingo!

One of my two ULTIMATE blorbos, this is going to be completely incoherent

they are soooooo cool looking: yes he's canonically stunning etc but also flaming red head, excessively tall even for an elf, "burned like a white fire within" he would be so intimidating and recognisable to anyone who had heard his name... i love him...

everyone but me is wrong about them <3: my precise characterisation is the exact correct one and also i am the only one with correct takes about him, his motivations and his fucked up actions <3

if they were real i would be afraid of them: i mean. giant elf and literal mass murderer. would it keep me away? no, i'd be like a cat lover pss-pss-pssing a mountain lion. i know i'm tempting death but it's worth it <3

they're like a blorbo to me: I cannot be normal about him

i like them enough to project my issues onto them: me projecting all of my trauma feelings and way over-identifying with him

i want to carry them in a handbag like a tiny dog: yes he may have a murder's spirit but so does the average chihuahua

wow! they are a horrible person: idiot murderer i love him

why do they look like that: honestly his look is iconic. why is it so excessive???i've already discussed: super tall with flaming red hair but also the scars I hc him with, the missing right hand and gigantic long sword in his left, fierce and fey, INCREDIBLE, way over the top, perfect

im mentally ill about them: if you couldn't already tell

[image description below cut]

Image: a Character Opinion Bingo. The squares are

they are soooooo cool looking [crossed off]

everyone but me is wrong about them <3 [crossed off]

wasted potential

if they were real i would be afraid of them [crossed off]

if they were real i would marry them

they're like a blorbo to me [crossed off]

they're deeper than they seem

not as deep as they seem

I like them enough to project my own issues onto them [crossed off]

they got done DIRTY by the fans

didnt get enough screen time

i want to carry them in my handbag like a tiny dog

free space [crossed off]

nothing i like about them is technically canon

wow! they are a horrible person [crossed off]

i don't really have much to say about them

why do they look like that [crossed off]

im mentally ill about them [crossed off]

they work better as part of a dynamic

wow... they are LITERALLY me!

they got too much screentime

i forgot this character existed

i actively dislike them sorry

why was this character in the work at all

they've never done anything wrong in their life <33

#character opinion bingo #maedhros

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cylidaeold · 10 months

Text

Okay, here is an explanation of Kota's hyperfixations that nobody asked for! So, essentially, the characters I connect with are technically from media, but I spin them into my own thing. Essentially, what I do is write them as if everything that happened in canon did actually happen, but there's a whole 'nother more interesting plot line going on behind the scenes. I pretty much always give them abusive parents, S/A trauma, and a dead loved one (usually a sibling for some reason). This is projection (except for the sibling thing. I'm an only child, why do I do that?). I adopt these characters as my own. I build them lore, redesign them to fit my perception, and even commission art of them. I had Charm uploaded to Toyhouse for a while because I knew nobody had read Story Thieves, so I could get away with it.

Obviously, anybody who knows me knows that I adore Peter. He's definitely the character with the most lore out of any of them. He's probably my favorite character from anything ever, but my other babies aren't actually too far behind him, despite what you may think. Let's make a list, shall we?

THE HIGH COUNCIL

These are the ones where I could probably be clinically diagnosed as obsessive for. I adore them more than words can express.

-Peter (Divergent):

The ultimate baby. Come on, you know I adore this little gremlin. I write about him constantly, and he has too many AUs for me to keep track of. If I were to switch up some of the other Divergent character's names, I could genuinely pass him off as my OC at this point. I adopted him as a hyperfixation in 6th grade (When I was 10), so he's been my ultimate baby boy for five years. (I read Divergent before that point, but I didn't think much of him then.)

-Charm (Story Thieves):

My first fictional crush and gay awakening. I don't know why I love her so much. Maybe because she was the first deeply tragic character that I ever got to read about. Maybe because her beating up people just made me giggle. Maybe because she's just kind of hot. Either way, I took on Charm as a hyperfixation very early on in life. I remember being in third grade and seeing somebody with a Story Thieves book and thinking "Oh, I read those books a while ago! I like Charm!" so it was a few years before I was eight. Five or six, maybe? Either way, she was my first obsession, and I love her dearly.

-Courtney (Total Drama):

Ah, Courtney. The subject of almost as much of my fanfiction as Peter. She's a complicated one to talk about for me. I remember I first watched Total Drama three or four years ago, but I wasn't obsessed with Courtney then. I remember that she was my favorite character, but that's about as far as my affections went. That changed when I started getting involved in the Total Drama fandom space. I'm struggling to define exactly what changed about her for me. I liked the good Catholic girl persona the fanbase gave her, the numerous daddy issues, and her chemistry with Duncan. It was all just fun. I ended up getting a burning desire to rewatch the show, so I did. It was only about six months ago that I really took her on as a hyperfixation, but my traumadumping on her pushed her to the top.

THE TOP BLORBOS

Little guys who I love, but don't think about constantly. I'll draw them every so often and give them a bit of lore, but mostly they're just little guys that I like a lot.

-Shawn (Total Drama):

I have no explanation for this one. I think watching so much Total Drama just got to my head, and I latched onto a random character. Either way, there's no excuse for the three times I've fully rendered this man and the math book that is filled with sketches of him. I mean filled in the truest sense possible. I drew him in so many places that I ran out of space to fit even the smallest Shawn.

-Clove + Cato (Hunger Games):

Again, I don't have much of an explanation for this one. I just think that they're a lot of fun. I love the idea of them falling in love either before the games or during them, and it's such a tragic love story. I want to write an AU where one (or both) of them wins the games.

-Cassidy (And maybe Dick) (Veronica Mars):

I just love a tragic villain, and Cassidy fits that role to a T for me. I love him dearly, and think that there would have been so much potential had he stayed alive. Dick's reaction to his death is heartbreaking and added a new dimension to this, frankly, 0-dimensional character.

-???:

Who is it? What is it? I don't know. I can't put it into words. The things that bring forth this feeling, though, are Dream SMP, that biblically accurate angel god from Cult of the Lamb, and a few of my friend's OCs. I've tried to create and find characters that fit this strange feeling, but I can't. It's always out of reach, but I'm still fond of it despite "it" not being anything.

THE ANCIENTS:

These are my children, who I've lost interest in but obsessed over for years. I still think about them and am still fond of them, but they aren't obsessions or anything close to that anymore.

-Cat (OC)

Perhaps the only OC on this list. Cat was my main OC and all that I thought about for several years, but I just fell out of love with them eventually. Now they bring up some bad memories for me, and I'm happy to leave them in storage.

-Susie (Deltarune): I like women who can beat me up! This one lasted around a year. She was my homescreen on my phone and computer for a while, and I got my cousins to fall in love with her too. She's just a fun character. I don't think about her much anymore, but she's still one I'm attached to.

-Jamilton (Ship, Hamilton the musical):

Look, I'm not proud of this one, but it would be deceptive to not include it. I've read more of this pairing on ao3 than any others, I have fanart that will never see the light of day, and I thought about them constantly for over two years. I still have a soft spot for this ship, but it's not an obsession anymore (thank God).

-Darkstalker (Wings of Fire):

Ohhhh boy. I had the biggest crush on this stupid dragon for years and years. The longest out of anybody on this list, if I'm being honest. I was a horrible Darkstalker defender for a while, and actually built a dedicated shrine in my room for him. He kind of gives me the ick now because of all this.

-Varian (Tangled the Series):

BABY BOY! Honestly, I'm tempted to just spam baby boy and let it devolve into keyboard smashing, because that is the only way to describe how I feel about this character. The little guy!

-Tom (Star Versus the Forces of Evil): He's the only reason I watched the show. My first watchthough of it was actually just me reading which episodes he's in on Wikipedia and then only watching those. Was I confused? Yes. But I loved him!

-Finleap (Warriors): I can't explain this at all. I just thought he was cute in AVoS, so he became my favorite warrior cat. He still is, but mostly because of nostalgia. He takes up zero braincells now, to be honest.

-Tax (Hunger Games):

This one is a joke... I think. He's a character that gets one mention throughout the entire series. I thought it'd be funny to call him my favorite character so that everybody was like "Who?" but I ended up with actual backstory ideas. Either way, I love him.

THE FLEETING

Characters that I obsessed over for around a week to a few months, then it faded. I'm still fond of most of them.

-Red Son (LEGO Monkie Kid):

What a silly little man! I really like him! That's all I can really say. I've written him some AUs, and I just had fun whenever he was on the screen. He's a good time.

-Bea (Night in the Woods):

She's just well-written. I like shipping her with Mae, too. She's a cool character, and I still have a bit of a crush. She feels so realistic and a bit tragic.

-Klaus (Umbrella Academy): Traumatized gay drug addict? Count me in! He's the only one in this section with his own fleshed-out backstory written by me. I think about him the most out of everybody in this section and still really love him.

THE APPRENTICES

Characters that I'm building an obsession with, but they aren't quite there yet.

-Narinder, Baal and Aym (Cult of the Lamb): Just a demon dad and his babies! I'm giving this one a few months before I really consider it an obsession, but I do really love them!

-Ethan (Never Have I Ever):

What a silly man! He's hot, and you know I love the bad boys. This could just be a fleeting emo boy thing, or we could have a deeper connection. We'll see.

THE SIDEKICKS

These are characters that I only like in relation to another character.

-Duncan (Total Drama):

Only with Courtney. They have the most fun dynamic of pretty much any ship. I really love them together, and Duncan's fun with her.

-Pretty much every Divergent character:

I love them in relation to Peter! Especially Caleb and Molly. I like most of these characters fine on their own, but I love the Peter dynamics.

-Mae (Night in the Woods): She's a great and relatable character, but I honestly only like her to ship with Bea.

-Kris (Deltarune):

Is Kris even a character at all? They're just kind of the player. Either way, I ship them with Susie and I love it.

-Jasmine (Total Drama): I just like the idea of Shawn having a buff, tall girlfriend who doesn't understand him whatsoever. It's funny and cute.

THE UNWORTHY

Characters that were so close to being an obsession, but I lost interest just a bit too quickly for them to make a lasting impact.

-Logan (Veronica Mars): Okay, he's definitely my favorite of this group. He's such a funny little guy. Such a traumatized man, and it's hilarious that he keeps beating up people for Veronica. He's such a good boy, no matter what the show wants you to think.

-Hunter (The Owl House):

He's my favorite from the show, but I never connected to him on that deep level. I don't look at him and think of headcanons, I just look at him and think "Oh, he's neat."

-JD and Veronica (Heathers):

This is different from the others in this section because the interest never faded. I love them just as much now as I did a few years ago. It could never cross the obsession threshold, though.

-Anne Boleyn and Katherine Howard (SIX): Yes, I am aware of K. Howard's real name, but I'm talking about the Six version here. They're just fun little traumatized gals who I ultimately couldn't fall in love with for whatever reason. Maybe because they're real people, and adding trauma seems weird.

-Princess Carolynn + Sara Lynn (Bojack Horseman): Both of these have a similar vibe. I love them and think that they're incredible characters, but the show is so good that there's nothing I can do with them. There's no way to break them further, no way to improve their story. They're just great.

-Kitty (Glee):

This may be a joke. I don't know at this point. She does have some trauma points going for her, so that's something. I just think the idea of this woman nearly murdering her classmate by purposely giving her an eating disorder, showing no remorse, waiting until they're about to die to confess, then immediately being forgiven, and the whole situation never being brought up again is really funny. She is absolutely awful, and I love her for it.

-Newt (Mazerunner):

When I was watching the Mazerunner movies, I was bored out of my mind. None of the characters had any... well- character. So jokingly, I said "Newt's my favorite character because at least he has a cool accent." Fast forward three movies and I'm sobbing over his death. Somewhere, my joke attachment became real attachment, and I don't know how.

-Connor (Dear Evan Hansen):

Emo boy! What else is there to say, really?

-Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel):

Once again, emo boy! He's got trauma and shit. Trauma and shit is relatable and a nice coping mechanism.

-Harley Quinn (DC):

I connect with abuse victims. What else is there to say, really? Her story resonated with me.

-Minthe (Greek Mythology):

This one is basically an OC because she's got one mention in Greek myths. Again, this is a connecting to abuse victims thing. I really starting loving her after Lore Olympus, though. I read it and thought "Fuck you, that's a messed up portrayal of this poor woman," and vowed to write her better. I still have some comic book pages of that, actually.

-Every character from Hadestown:

This is the best musical I've ever seen, and the relationships are so fun. I'm invested in Hades and Persephone as well as Orpheus and Eurydice.

-Dee and Heavy (Metal Family):

I just like their dynamic. Plus, Dee is an emo boy. You know the drill at this point.

-Feather (OC):

My DND character. He's very fleshed out (over forty pages of lore). I really wanted to force myself to love him, but I just couldn't. There was a stretch where I was very fond of him, though.

-Torpedo (OC):

This was a character in an old roleplay game I did with my friends when we were little. I still really love most of these characters, but it's more of a nostalgic connection at this point.

-FTSRTD cast (OC):

I had fun with most of the cast, but I never connected to any as much as I did Cat. There was a period where Ezra was my favorite, but that passed quickly.

-Asriel (Undertale):

I don't know why he's so far down. This kid is fun and I wish I could save him. I've listened to every His Theme cover in existence, and I still crave more.

#help im insane

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dominijoyce · 1 year

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brubo bingo

Since this is on Anon, I'm not sure if you're on Bizarre Retirement, but if you are then you probably already know of the story with Bruno I'm cooking which. I should be put in Fandom Jail for Blorbo Abuse Crimes for. It is just Hurt Comfort story of self exploration and dealing with trauma but with way too much Hurt for one's own good since most of it is self indulgance and exploration of things through pain and consequences.

I am not gonna ramble about it here, I am currently writing first chapter of it but that story is kind of proof that I project onto him too much and give him all of my issues as well as just keeping on traumatising him and putting him through way too much.

Bruno means too much for me, he is definitely something akin to a comfort character but so is near everyone in Bucci Gang. Mostly because I relate to so many aspects of him, his personality, his backstory, his disposition just him as a person. Which is kind of why I hate how fandom keeps on trying to make him so heavily one-dimensional or put him into one box and refuse to expand their view beyond that.

I also don't like people reducing him into a "weirdo". Mostly because things they call him a weirdo for aren't that weird in the context and because as someone who suffers of Catatonia he is just relatable and I really do not find it comfortable people ridiculising something that isn't really that bad. He may do or say "out of ordinary" things sometimes but disregarding his entire character and just putting the "clown" up to 11 because you saw few small scenes that you considered inappropriate [for some reason] is quite literally just removing all the nuance and being boring.

And then the second extreme of removing the weirdness and quirkness and making Bruno into some kind of charming guy with a poker face who is in control of everything, some kind of perfect man who can do no wrong and is just perfect. That is also boring and is also removing all of the nuance he has.

I think fandom doesn't understand Bruno because they are not able to shift their perspective on how Bruno is viewing his life and how he decides to do of it. They just assume one of the extreme because it is easier to put him in a box than to consider.

#ask game #bingo game #didnt expect to go on a ramble but when i started listing those stuff... yeah #bruno is just someone i am too passionate about #means too much for me #i always have way too much to say about him #bruno buccellati

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first-and-last-neocount · 2 years

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Ask game:

N, P, & Y

Ah, thank you Potato :P

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

Hmm, I wouldn't say that I have any really strong thoughts on this, since I've always tended toward the mindset of "if you want it, write it yourself" even before getting into fandom, so I don't have anything super specific. In very general terms, I'd be over the moon if more people got into Karril/Damien enough to write for that ship, even if it was just little drabbles. What can I say, I've really done myself in with this little rarepair that is now near and dear to my heart. :'D

P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an "architect" or a "gardener"? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)

GARDENER. I go into most of my stories with more 'vibe' than 'plan', and even when I give the broad strokes of an outline, it's all subject to change as I go. Even in my original work, I tend to use an outline format I call "melody plotting" - I'll map out the big notes the story needs to hit, the pivotal character developments and the hooks for future storylines, and a couple of dramatic 'set pieces'. All the rest, the little ornamentation and flavour? All added in the process. The bulk of my worldbuilding bible for original works will grow alongside the story, with elements that come to me organically during writing getting put into the bible once I've checked them against existing material - and if I like the new idea enough, I'll throw out the old stuff that contradicted it. It sometimes means more work for myself if I decide to change a significant element mid-work, but it's worth it, because it's by far the most fun and natural way for me to work. It's also why my estimated word count/chapter count/series length will change often and rapidly, because it's very easy for me to get swept away with fleshing out a particular section that was only a footnote in the outline, which is what exactly happened with "And Its Dizzying Heights". I got so caught up in the dinner scene that it ended up filling out the whole fic, with the after-dinner scene getting pushed off to the next fic.

Y: A character you want to protect.

I mean, that's a fair thing to ask, since it's very obvious which characters I want to hurt. XD This is actually very well timed, because the first character that comes to mind is Raistlin Majere. He's one of my very oldest blorbos, and the fact that I imprinted on him before getting most of my own trauma means that rather than cathartically projecting worse versions of my own issues onto him as I tend to do with Gerald, I would prefer to just bundle Raistlin up in bubble wrap and make sure nothing bad happens to him ever. Which is... a tall order, given all of canon, but is also why every fic idea I've ever had for Dragonlance diverges from canon in either Soulforge era, Brothers Majere era, or early Dragons of Autumn Twilight at the very latest - I applaud every author who wants to tackle the absolute nightmare that is Raistlin's life post-Spring Dawning, but I prefer to keep my slightly-less-bitter-and-jaded Red Robe from going off the deep end in the first place. (I'm also far more in love with Raistlin's characterization as a Red Robe who prioritizes the magic above all else than after he decides godhood is the answer to all his problems. I love a maniacal villain as much as the next shipper, but that strange limbo between resentment and compassion that Raistlin spent most of his early life tenuously balanced in just resonates on a different level for me.)

#the neocount writes #ask and ye shall receive #coldfire trilogy #dragonlance #raistlin majere #damien vryce #karril #karril/damien

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