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#is the mask on or off we will never know
wickwackity · 2 months
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some dinluke for the soul….
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thelaurenshippen · 6 months
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cw: harry potter, jk rowling, transphobia
I occasionally see posts/get messages about the various harry potter references in the bright sessions, etc. and I've gotten a bunch of new followers recently so just so any new/younger listeners of my shows know:
jk rowling is a terrible transphobe whom I hold zero respect for and I haven't given a dime of my money to her since she revealed who she truly is. I want the whole bright universe to be a safe space for trans people (including the trans folks in our cast and crew!) and if I could go back and remove those references, I would. but I can't! harry potter was an extremely significant part of my life until...well, until it became very clear who she really was. it makes me so sad to think that folks might be finding TBS now and get thrown out of the story by these references, but just know that the people who made the show do not stand by jk, and that in many ways, the show is a product of its time.
#the bright sessions#harry potter#jk rowling#transphobia#I know there's PLENTY to say about the bigotry in the actual books and I think there's a lot of merit to those criticisms#and I'll own to choosing not to see some of that stuff before all this went down bc the books were meaningful to me#(this is not HP specific - another beloved childhood book series that was EVEN more formative to me growing up)#(is also something I've grappled with in recent years bc I think the author is actually probably wildly misogynistic)#(even though he's never behaved badly (far as I know) in his public life - there's stuff in the text)#BUT ANYWAY#it can be so hard to remember that we didn't have ANY inkling of her bigotry in this regard until 2018#all of the original run of TBS was written before that#and I'll admit I gave jk the benefit of the doubt in 2018 re: her liking that tweet! I wanted to give her a chance to learn and grow#and she did....not do that#but TAMA was written in that little grace period#and then a few references in TCT were taken out during recording bc june of 2020 was when she really started to go mask off#and so we were making changes in real time#we didn't know what to do about quidditch#bc we were like 'this is a sport that people play in college and it's just called that?'#'and it's already canon that caleb plays?'#and it wasn't called quadball yet#anyway not trying to make excuses!#just know that none of those references were put in with any malice#and I guess I *could* go back and rerecord all those lines and replace them#but I know enough about my original audio engineering to know that it woudl be VERY hard to make it sound natural#and idk I do think there's something to be said for not covering up errors in old work#I'm not going to try to pretend HP wasn't important to me#EDIT: I've turned off reblogs for this post#also this is not me trying to tell other people how to approach their own HP fandom#fanworks especially - there's no benefiting jo in that - and I think it's totally legit for ppl to want to take HP as their own!
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surrealsunset · 2 months
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the sun always shines on TV
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meggtheegg · 4 months
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the way that this episode had a better grasp on bucky's innocence than the entirety of tfatws
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dcviline · 12 days
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every time I see people insist that the stark sisters will automatically hate each other and say that sansa "bullied" or "traumatized" arya (or vise versa) my eyes threaten to roll out of my skull. some of y'all truly have no idea how real sibling dynamics work.
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hiragihouse · 3 months
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gege needs to retire his character death note and hand it off to asagiri i swear 😭
#my sister (misinformed) told me yuta died in the latest jjk ch and i was so nervous looking at leaks#bc its smthn gege /would/ do and i really like yuta#thankfully he’s fine he just made an appearance in the latest ch thats all#tell me why my first thought after was ‘man that was a thrill i wish new bsd chapters made me feel like this’ 😭#my biggest gripe w. bsd will forever be how all the characters always come out of battles completely unscathed#nevermind the 500 injuries th​ey sustained#nobody ever dies or gets new battle scars or life changing wounds etc etc it kinda makes the stakes boring when you know the character will#be fine when alls said and done#and honestly this wouldn’t be problem for me if ! asagiri didnt deathbait so damn much !#he’s allergic to actually killing off a character and thats how i Know fyodor prob isnt dead#and neither is sigma bc fyodors ability is still a big mystery and we need them to reveal it for us#bc asagiri never killed anyone major off in the main manga before its hard to believe that he killed these two off 🤷‍♀️#and ig fukuchi but all those theories of him being the masked man at the s5 cliffhanger has me squinting suspiciously#tbh idc if its my fav character who dies if it’ll make the plot more interesting then send them to the gallows !!#(okay maybe not lucy but she barely gets any panel time shhh)#like i like fukuzawa but i also think itd be interesting to see what would’ve happened if he died in the battle vs fukuchi#bc the aftermath would be a change in status quo and it would’ve been interesting to see the change in dynamics in the ada and#how they deal w. his loss !!#on the other hand gege killing off his characters too frequently . . . doesnt rlly need an explanation#(jjk spoilers?) now w. yuta going up against sukuna . . . please keep him safe gege i beg 🥲#anyways. enough rambling now to go back to shoving bsd to the back of my mind lol#ayra croaks
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skyloftian-nutcase · 2 years
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Fierce Meeting (Hyrule Warriors era Link and the Fierce Deity)
Summary:
At the end battle, Link finds that his young Forest Sprite is still wearing the mask of the Fierce Deity. Which leads to a whole host of problems, because Link's pretty sure that guy's bad news, right? Mask had said as much. But the Fierce Deity is still there and he is not going away anytime soon because he has a mission to accomplish. Warriors meets the Fierce Deity, and it doesn't go as he expected. But at least he gets to sleep, which is a miracle for him.
(Click here to read on AO3)
The young Hero grunted as he sliced upwards with his sword, cutting a beast clean down the middle. Its blood spilled in a smattering, speckles landing on the child and making him flinch. He stepped back at the monster fell and turned when he heard another one coming his way, ready to fight, when he instead saw a blade pierce through its heart before retracting.
When the beast fell, Link appeared, blue scarf dyed red from the long battle. He gave a quick onceover of the younger Link and a pulled smile. “You alright, Sprite?”
Mask nodded, and the battle resumed.
As the fight continued, one thing became apparent to the Hero of Time: this was not a battle they were winning. He’d run enough losing scenarios before, had to escape within an inch of his life and a hasty magical song whistling through his ocarina, and start over. He knew when reinforcements were needed.
He’d honestly hoped he wouldn’t need the Fierce Deity mask this time around. He’d been using it so much it was draining him almost as much as his sleep deprivation and constant fighting. But he knew what was needed and he would do it. Perhaps the stamina potion in his system would help him not feel as terrible when he took the mask off.
Grabbing the painted wood, he felt its power surging through his arms as he pushed it to his face.
It’s up to you now, Fierce, he thought, hoping the dark magical deity encased in the mask could hear him.
XXX
The battle hadn’t been looking good, Link had to admit grimly. There were just too many enemies. The Hylian army had no reinforcements waiting, and despite the outflanking maneuver they had pulled, which had temporarily given them the advantage, they were still being pushed back.
Until the littlest soldier among them put on that mask.
Link had mixed feelings about the Fierce Deity mask. He was a force of nature on the battlefield, and his prowess was certainly welcome. But he was menacing, unnerving, and worst of all, painful to Mask. Wearing the mask wore the boy so thin Link often had to carry him from a battlefield after he’d used it. The young Hero had started to resort to using stamina potions just to get from day to day, and Link hadn’t had time to address the issue yet. For that reason, he often argued with command on whether to utilize the mask or not. It made sense for them to push, to use such an obvious aid and achieve victory, but when the only person who could wield it (or at least Link assumed that was the case, no one had actually tried to put the mask on aside from the boy) would be weakened and ill after each use, it was not the most efficient way to handle this war.
And Link just didn’t like seeing Mask in that state.
The battle was over. Soldiers were regrouping and trying to help each other. Link had just carried one to the medical tent, but his eyes were searching for Mask. The boy no doubt had taken the mask off by now and was collapsed somewhere in the carnage. It made Link’s stomach churn just thinking about it.
The field where they fought had rolling hills, but nothing with such an extreme gradient that he couldn’t see clearly for miles. This made the tall figure stick out all the more.
The Fierce Deity.
Confused and wary, Link approached him slowly. Why was he still here? He usually took the mask off as soon as the battle was over.
Link cleared his throat, his body tense. The deity turned to look at him, towering over him. Link felt the slightest twinge of fear as the blank gaze pierced into him.
The deity’s fingers twitched a moment. He shifted his weight from foot to foot. Then he said, “There are no more injured over here. I already carried them to camp.”
Link jumped a little, caught off guard. He’d never heard the mystical being speak before. His voice was deep and smooth and surprisingly quiet, though it held an energy and power to it that made his skin crawl.
Most unnerving of all, it reminded him of his little forest sprite. Young Link’s voice was also soft and quiet and held power and authority that the boy shouldn’t know how to convey at his age. But it was much higher in pitch, still untampered by time and hormones.
Link swallowed, processing the words. “T-thank you. For all of your assistance. I… must admit I wasn’t expecting to find you out here still.”
The Fierce Deity stepped forward, his body radiating energy and authority, and it took all of Link’s willpower to hold his ground. Fierce reached forward, his hand passing overhead of Link, who watched with apprehension and bewilderment, when he felt the long, clawed fingers grasp the back of his tunic.
And pull.
Link yelped, his feet dangling in the air as he was suddenly, essentially, being held by the scruff of his neck.
“You look exhausted,” the deity stated, now at eye level with him.
Link flailed. “Put me down!”
“I’ve watched you,” the Fierce Deity said as he started to walk towards camp. “I’ve watched how you care for Link, and I’ve watched how you wear yourself too thin.”
Link halted his protests, bewildered. “What are you talking about?”
How much could this mystical mask see when his sprite wasn’t wearing it? All he really knew about the mask was that the younger Hero had said it was dangerous, held a mystical being, and shouldn’t be messed with. All he knew from the battlefield was that everything Mask had said was correct.
“You are a capable warrior,” the Fierce Deity explained. “But you do yourself and your men harm by hurting yourself so. You need to rest.”
Now wait a damn minute, he was not—he was not—
Was this mystical dark being lecturing him?
“I can take care of myself, thank you,” Link argued, beginning his pitiful attempts to wrangle himself out of the deity’s grip once more. He couldn’t believe this; there was no way he was being hauled into camp like this. “Kindly take off the mask so I can have my Sprite back.”
“Link needs to sleep just as much as you do, Captain, if not more,” the Fierce Deity said calmly. “Foolish little Hero has been pushing himself far too much. And at his age that can be dangerous. He also hasn’t been eating enough, you know. I don’t think you’ve realized how he’s tried to ration out the meals provided for him.”
Link tried to get a word in, but now the deity was practically on a tirade, though his voice never changed in pitch, making the conversation bizarre but also eerie. Much to Link’s horror, he also heard the footfalls of soldiers and the sound of many voices and activities happening.
They were at camp.
Link twisted in the being’s grip and nearly landed a kick in his chest. The captain froze, suddenly terrified of retaliation from a monster that could annihilate entire armies, but the deity seemed unbothered.
Or, really, he just changed tactics.
Link felt himself get launched forward, and he got the wind knocked out of him when his abdomen collided with the Fierce Deity’s shoulder as he was draped over it. A strong arm wrapped around the back of his knees, locking him into place.
Somehow, this was worse.
Link was very tempted to just lay limp on the deity’s shoulder; at least if he looked unconscious, this pathetic position could be excused. But he was too proud to allow others to think he was knocked down in the battlefield and had to be hauled back to camp.
Not that his pride was going to survive this anyway.
“That’s enough,” Link said, trying to brace his hands on the deity’s armor so he could push off his shoulder.
“This is nowhere near enough,” was the deity’s rebuttal.
Link watched helplessly as they entered the camp. The soldiers watched them uncertainly, one dropping his sword with a startled yell. Fierce slipped his foot under the hilt, kicking the sword into the air effortlessly and catching it before dropping it back into the wide-eyed soldier’s slack grip.
“I need to speak to your chain of command,” Fierce said as he continued to walk.
“I am the chain of command!” Link snapped. “I’m the captain!”
“But you take orders from those above you.”
“I’m not telling you where they are,” Link huffed. He felt like a petulant child, but he didn’t have much else to barter with.
“I don’t need your input to locate them.”
Link scrambled for something to get him out of this situation as they attracted increasingly more attention. Thankfully the majority of the army was more in awe or intimidated by the sight than entertained. After all, they’d all seen what the deity was capable of on the battlefield, and none had seen him linger once the fight was finished.
Which still led Link to wondering how in the world this situation had occurred in the first place. Surely the Fierce Deity hadn’t stuck around just to humiliate him?
Then again, if his lecturing was indicative of anything, it was more of lingering concern for Mask than anything else. Which in itself was… interesting. It wasn’t something Link had considered, simply because it hadn’t even seemed within the realm of possibility. Who would assume a mask powered by dark magic sealing a mysterious warrior deity away would be anything but, well, dangerous?
The deity’s walking stopped, jostling Link out of his musings.
“Hylia’s offspring, I presume?”
Link jolted, completely bewildered by the term before it clicked, and then he started twisting and turning. “What? Zelda? Where?!”
There was silence as the deity seemed to be waiting for something, and then Sheik’s familiar voice broke it.
“My name is Sheik,” she said. “I am a Sheikah warrior.”
“A Sheik named Sheikah?”
“No. A Sheikah named Sheik.”
Fierce was silent, and Link could practically feel the deity judging the woman he was speaking to.
“Right,” Fierce quipped. “Anyway, whatever name you choose, golden child, I can still sense the Triforce piece and the bloodline. So I assume you’re in command.”
Sheik was silent, as was Link. He tried twisting again, still attempting to piece together what he’d just heard, when Fierce spoke up again.
“The captain will be unavailable for the remainder of today and tomorrow morning. In addition, the one you call Mask will also be unavailable for that period of time. I will be inspecting your army to ensure proper form and combat skill. Have a good evening.”
Link felt himself whirl as the deity twirled on his heel and headed in a different direction. He locked eyes with Sheik once she came into view, and he saw her staring, her visible eye a little wider than normal, though he wasn’t sure if she was dumbfounded by the being’s words or if they rang true.
He’d have to investigate that… once he managed to detangle himself from the Fierce Deity’s steel grip.
“That isn’t Zelda, you know,” Link informed him, giving up on fighting him off for the time being.
Fierce hummed, clearly unconvinced. “Whatever you wish to call her, I know of what I speak.”
“How can you sense the Triforce?” Link asked.
“I am a being of greater power and ability than your meager fleshy mind can comprehend.”
“Meager?!”
“Be quiet, little soldier. You need to rest.”
“Hard to rest when I’m shoved against full plate armor,” Link muttered irritably.
Apparently the Fierce Deity heard him, because before he knew it he was slipped off the deity’s shoulders and secured snugly in his arms.
“W-what are you—no, this is not—put me down!” Link hissed, his face flaming red as they passed more soldiers. “What is wrong with you, you’re supposed to be this super soldier who goes away when the fighting’s done!”
The Fierce Deity paused from his quick stride, staring at Link. The captain shriveled into the cradled hold a little at the intensity of the stare, sufficiently guilty at the assumptions he’d just stated aloud.
After all, the deity did seem to care… even if it was on the overbearing side.
“I wouldn’t expect you to understand,” the deity said softly before resuming his pace.
Link remained still and silent, regardless of the shame his situation brought him. When they reached his tent, he said softly, “I’m sorry. I… nobody really knows much about you aside from what we’ve witnessed in battle.”
The mythical being halted in the middle of the tent, looking at Link once more, though this time his stare was less intense, his face softening. “There is far more to me than battle, Captain. Just as there is far more to you than your title. But you should be aware of my status and abilities. I am not some lowly soldier for you to order around. I once ruled over a land in an age before your people even existed. That is to be remembered and respected.”
Link swallowed and straightened, nodding in acquiescence and acknowledgement. He could understand that much.
“Now, it’s time for you to rest,” Fierce continued.
Link blanched. “Wait, what? Are you kidding, the battle just ended, I have reports to write, meetings to attend—”
“You will do no such thing.”
“With all due respect, I am a captain and have duties to fulfill—”
Fierce finally plopped Link onto his cot, and the captain landed with a decidedly undignified OOF, bouncing on the mattress briefly.
“Honestly, I am a deity and a warrior and I’m relegated to babysitting because certain heroes can’t be bothered to take care of themselves,” the deity muttered, disregarding Link's earlier words and poking Link so forcefully that he collapsed onto the bed entirely.
“Hylia only knows why I ended up with such a fate,” the deity grumbled, grabbing Link’s armor and slipping it off with practiced ease before the captain even had a chance to protest. “I still haven’t even gotten any word about Hylia, how does an entire people just forget the woman they’re named after—”
“Will you stop it—” Link snapped as his boots got yanked off.
“As you said, you are a captain, which means you should know better, how are you supposed to lead troops in a state like this—”
“I can handle it!” Link yelled, standing on his cot to be at eye level with the mystical overbearing mother hen.
Fierce huffed, grabbing the clothes and armor he’d managed to obtain and folding them, placing them in a neat pile in the corner of the tent. Then he proceeded to grab other items that were discarded and started to organize them.
“What are you doing?” Link asked, exasperated.
“This place is a disaster,” Fierce replied.
Link stared at him. This was—he didn’t—all right, this was ridiculous, the being had just emphasized that he was a former deity of immense power and he was playing housekeeper and where was this coming from—
Wait a damn minute.
Link squinted, and horror chilled his blood. “Mask drank a stamina potion.”
“Yes, he does that far too often—”
“No. He drank one before he put on your mask.”
“I don’t see how that makes any difference.”
“Your hands are shaking.”
Fierce looked at Link, his blank eyes narrowing as one of his eyebrows rose. “Don’t be ridiculous, my hands never shake.”
Link crossed his arms and gave the most stubborn look he could possibly throw in an overpowered mystical being’s direction. The Fierce Deity looked back, unimpressed, and then looked down at his hands, which were, in fact, trembling.
Fierce blinked.
“Oh,” he said.
“Told you,” Link confirmed. “Now take the mask off and let Sprite come back.”
“Link is resting.” Fierce emphasized, returning his attention to folding the captain’s laundry. He curled his lip in annoyance. “What sort of military training breeds such slovenly accommodations?”
Link blushed. “I usually am better organized, but we’ve had four days of fighting on and off and I hardly have time to even see the tent let alone get in, strip, and pass out.”
Fierce shot him an analytical look. “You haven’t bathed in four days?”
Link immediately felt dread fill him. He didn’t know where this deity drew the line and he was not testing it. “No, no, don’t you dare. I’ll sleep, I promise, I promise!”
True to his word, Link scrambled under the thin blanket provided to him and watched the deity with a near panicked gaze. Fierce continued to look at him for an agonizing moment before continuing his ministrations.
Link didn’t honestly realize just how bone tired he was until he laid his head on his pillow. His brain went from this is insane to wow this bed is amazing, this is so comfortable, just wow to nothing at all as pure exhaustion overtook him. He felt another blanket get tucked around him, long, calloused fingers smooth hair out of his face, and then he felt nothing at all.
Honestly, he didn’t regret the sleep he got. He woke up mid-morning the next day, feeling far more refreshed than he had in a solid month. He didn’t regret the sleep at all.
Until he went out into camp and found half his healthy troops passed out from exhaustion after being drilled all night by “the Old Man with tattoos” and had to get an earful from Impa about letting Mask run the camp with his magical artifacts. Mask himself was wrapped in more blankets than Link thought were even in the camp, sound asleep and at peace.
Sighing heavily, Link carried the boy to his own cot, tucking him in. When he caught sight of the Fierce Deity mask hanging on his belt, he scrutinized it carefully, scrunching his nose. Picking up the object like it might burn him, he plopped it on a pillow beside the boy and sighed heavily.
What a bizarre encounter. But he’d be lying if he said it had been all bad.
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moms getting competitive w her eating disorder again
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#she keeps mimicking how ive been living and now that ive been sliding back and restricting again due to stress#she's been body checking around me more talking about how much she works out how 'toned' she looks#and dishing up smaller portions than me only eating half and then saying 'oh i'm so full...marie#if you can't finish yours just throw the rest out...'#she had her friend over yesterday and the poor woman made the mistake of confiding in my mother and i about her ed#and i gave her some advice for recovery & let her know that anorexia is hard to tackle esp when you're taking care of someone else at the#same time but its doable..and she was asking about what i do when i relapse#and obv i didnt go into detail so as not to like. give any ideas. but it was nice to have someone Nice to relate to on that front#immediately my mom jumps in with 'oh i restrict too! thats what i do! i go days without eating and count my calories.#marie doesnt work out like i do because their therapist said not to..but i work out so i can stay toned and confident.' like no you dont#it hurts me that shes doing this shit to herself but i know shes doing it in front of me to feel superior because she Always Has#its CYCLICAL with her. as soon as my gf left the mask came back off and she was right back to the mama i know#using MY CLOTHES to body check using MY MIRROR infront of me i feel insane.#like i told her i feel disgusting because i gained two pounds and im at 114 now and she immediately started talking about her weight and#that we need to stop buying 'junk food'#MOMM....OH MY GOOOD...#whatever whatever . i'll get over it in a few mins im just pissy in general and i feel like i live with a 15 yr old sometimes.#ed ment#i will say it uswd to be worse when she wasnt in therapy n shit but hhghhthtnf even my dad who is Never Home has picked up pn it and has#started checking her and telling her to keep it between yhem bc i dont. i canr handle that rn dude
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whirling-fangs · 10 months
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[[ pointless little munday rant/apology under the cut!! ]]
I just wanted to say: i'm sorry for being really clingy at times and especially as of late. Things aren't going well with IRL interpersonal relationships recently, I've been having a lot of autistic breakdowns at work which make me isolate myself and act rude to others without realizing it, and I figure that's why people are (understandably) rejecting me a lot in return... so I turn to online spaces even more than usual. I rely too much on current plots/threads I'm excited about in order to maintain a good mental health balance ;-;
I'm really sorry for always being up in people's notifications or sometimes DMs/discord, when I should probably give everyone more space (or on the contrary, nurture the friendship more, it's either 0% or 100% with me haha). I know I can't force friendships, sometimes you'll click with another person and sometimes you don't, but I've probably been trying to force things when I should just accept that I can't be BFFs with everyone everywhere. It's not anyone's job on here to help me feel better, friendships should be natural and I can't rely on tumblr for therapy haha.
I know that having only one muse to offer means that scenarios I can write are limited, and I can be very self-obessessed and I probably make things about my muse too much, and I also wanted to apologize about that. It's frustrating when I can't give the people I want to write with the kind of content they seem to really enjoy, but again, I shouldn't try to force it.
Tl;dr: if I've ever misread signs and acted either too clingy or too distant, I'm super super sorry!! i'm learning every day and I just hope to find that sweet spot between enjoying my time here and having a fulfilling real life experience that doesn't make me want to escape online 24/7. I'm working on it. Thank you for sticking with me ♥
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funnierasafictive · 6 months
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your talks about knowing if someone is a fictive or not is fucking hilarious because like- for us SPECIFICALLY I’m essentally front personified and thus the perm fronter and front gatekeeper as of now but like!!!- for us we operate a lot on what we can (phantom) feel, hear or see- like yeah it’s not most clear but like- suddenly feeling picked up or splatted against a wall but not SEEING it happen to the body and KNOWING it’s not happening to your body is a REAL FAST reality check, drawing something and suddenly feeling like there’s wires under your skin shocking you half to death bc youmanaged to actually draw a brain buddy without realizing even more so.
would recomend checking to see if the voices register as “not yours” or “in another language”- even if you register the words and language if it doesn’t FEEL like what you know as yours/body’s you should check shit out- we primarily use body’s voice or I’m limited to it- however I DO register the spanish and such languages at times and I can 10000% tell you that juanaflippa threatened someone with a gun bc she didn’t want to see a “not my mate” throwing themself on me and I 1000% registered those words as rusian despite body being english only and the voice she had at her disposal as ONLY the body’s voice.
idk if any of this will help anyone but it MIGHT be more aproachable to ask them to say/do something a certain way involving your senses and check that way than other methods,,
AGH THATS SO TRUE. this is nicer than me going "annoy them" BAHAHA
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ghostcrows · 8 months
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there will never be a back to normal for me
today actually marks two years since covid killed someone in my family
if you got out unscathed youre lucky. if it wasnt you it was someone you know, someone you love, or someone they love. if you think people are just paranoid youre missing the point. people are traumatized. if not still fucking sick. if not will go on to get sick. you cant tell people to just get over it. we were being told to get over it AS it was happening. we were told it WASNT happening. can you actually fucking blame people who have no trust or faith left
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the-trans-dragon · 7 months
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What if they didn't put ads every 3 posts. Three posts between ads, literally. Not even counting the ad for Tumblr Live.
Also what if tumblr didn't know what city Im in. I do not want my location tracked or stored anywhere unless I give explicit ongoing permission, like with my GPS app that I allow to track me only when the app is open, and then it deletes the data (allegedly) when I stop giving permission.
#ugh i do SO much to try to keep my location private. i use an android with all the tracking things Off (except for my weather app#which is a highly specific app that does NOTHING except provide weather; and i have the location turned Off so it doesnt even know where i#live). my tumblr email is not connected to any real life stuff because i made it when i was very closeted and made a new email and password#for it and never linked them to anything else. i have bare minimum apps. i use firefox and duckduckgo.#for shits sake i use a small barely-known map app because any Map App that has had large success under capitalism is inevitably going to#start selling private info or working with a cheap security system designed to allow quiet data leaks.#i guess i use gmail and gphotos but my phone doesnt HAVE a native Photo App. i have to use one i download and im too damn skittish to try#i guess i did get netflix recently....sigh.... i figured they WERENT tracking me because they email me EVERY TIME I USE NETFLIX to alert me#that OHHHH A NEW DEVICE IS USING NETFLIX AAAAA WHAT IF ITS AGAINST NETFLIX POLICY OH NOOOO. so i figured they didnt have a way to ID me.#UGH. CAN I PLEASE EXIST WITHOUT BEING MONITORED FOR FIVE SECONDS. can i please access Social Media which is a shitty substitute for actual#human connection but its the best i have--without someone noting my location and then trying to sell me things??? can i please watch film???#i cant go to a theater because my region does NOT believe in covid and not even medical staff attending Very Ill Patients wear masks anymore#stupid fucking homophobic transphobic anti-vax society has made it too dangerous for me to access most Not-Online forms of enrichment. and i#cant even use the Internet (a magnificent ASTONISHING human creation) without being tracked and advertised to.#ugh..#humanity is just so cool and brave and kind and amazing and yet we have taxes and advertisment IDs and traffic and medicine shortages.#its not like the ads even work. even when it shows me stuff i DO want. i cant fucking afford things. i already have spent too much money on#things that i dont need like Good Food and Entertainment and Juice. ugh....okay i do need food and liquids....Good food even. my body cant#survive on College Foods like it could in the past. And i might literally die if i dont buy juice...#and i guess its really really really heartwarming to have good entertainment to take breaks from all the stress.... its not like i havent l#..... like im so frugal. thank god my partners encourage me to buy myself things. i have been so much healthier since giving in and buying#Non-Water drinks instead of just Chronically Drinking Less Than A Bottle Of Water A Day. my partners are so good and sweet 😓 i shouldnt be#upset with myself for letting them convince me to take care of myself. that isnt fair to them or me so i will stop doing that now.#my faith in humanity is mostly just knowing that my partners exist. theyre so sweet. if people like them exist--then i have faith in humanty#no pressure lol. they are both so good and perfect regardless of how much energy they have to spare for Being Good. they are just inherently#very dear and good to me and for me. but just because i have faith in humanity doesnt mean im gonna stop complaining the whole time!!!!!! i#will whine about the bad stuff forever!!!! and BITE IT if i ever get the chance. but i will complain until the bothersome things go away.#if i complain my whole life with no results then...! so be it. i will whine and it will be art somehow.#sorenhoots
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july-19th-club · 4 months
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one thing about getting sick for me is that before covid (the first time) my colds and flus and whatnot all went in a very specific pattern: i would get a sore throat for a day or two, then violently congested for three or four days, then a runny nose/drainage for three or four days after that, and finally a cough, which was my favorite part of the cold (if a person can be said to have a favorite part of a cold) because it meant it was almost over AND that the problem was largely not in my face and neck anymore. but any illness i've had since that first covid has been all over the map - either i don't get the sore throat at all, just straight into the congestion, or the sore throat happens at a different time, or longer, or worse, or i have to spit a lot because otherwise i get so nauseous from sinus drainage that i throw up, or the congestion and the runny nose happen concurrently with not just each other but ALSO the sore throat (which is what's happening right now and i hate it) and like. because it doesn't follow the pattern i spent twenty-six years of my life getting used to, i'm always freaked out. which i would be anyway because ever since i had the first covid getting sick freaks me out. and it should freak more people out if im being honest. but this is a weird one bc like. i dont know how it did that but it disrupted MY trusty sick pattern
#i say 'first covid' because even though both rapid tests were negative yesterday there's a high likelihood they were false negatives#the most likely explanation is 'my brother brought covid to christmas and three days later i also got covid'#a perfectly reasonable chain of logic that my family refuses to entertain because it would make it His Fault#and nobody wants to blame mister perfect#he's my brother and i mostly love him. but the thing with him and me is that he's two years younger than me but has always had an energy of#i dont know. maturity? know-it-all-ness which comes off as maturity? emotional stoicism? < thats it probably right there#i was always a very emotional child. and undiagnosedly autistic. so he is in some ways the eldest child. and i resent it#like. we all know he's NOT the eldest. but he takes charge of things like he thinks he is. and when i take charge of things i am...#not authoritative#anyway he's the engineer and emotionally stoic and can 'beat' any problem by simply glaring at it hard enough (he thinks) and he's like#the oldest son. and i think somewhere back in the family hindbrain where they'd never recognize or admit it . that holds weight#oldest son holds just SLIGHTLY more weight than oldest daughter#although. had i been born a boy and been exactly the same personality-wise as i am already. he would still be like this#and we would still have this uncomfortable dynamic#anyway mister special can't get anybody sick and it's probably not his fault because i come into contact with people all the time!#sure. at my much more secure workplace where i spend less than five minutes with most patrons. and a lot more people mask#versus . him a foot away from me at the dinner table sniffling into his ham. hmmmmmm. you're an engineer. you do the math
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hoxooster · 1 year
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This DLC has been out for a few days, now. (Apologies for being late with this post.) But, I have news for those of you who may not know that this extra stuff is going on!
To celebrate the release of the newest heist, OVERKILL has enabled drops for a new mask, gloves, and suit to drop after an hour of Twitch watch-time on participating streams.
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So, make sure to link your Starbreeze/Nebula account to your Twitch account and watch any of these streams that have drops enabled to get your hands on these items. You have until March 1st!
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watching a turkish drama now and its just the right touch of fucking insane
#its called duy beni btw#and first I like watching it cause I speak persian and I never realized how similar persian and Turkish are#like so much of the same vocabulary#second the plot is so crazy 😭#its a bit dramatic#honestly watching so many foreign dramas im starting to realize american media is not nearly as dramatic as these other shows#nor are they as long THESE TURKISH DRAMAS ARE 2 HOURS LONG PER EPISODE#like is it that serious do we really need this many scenes#anyways let me break down the plot cause it kinda reminds me of elite#its basically about this girl named ekim who is best friends with this girl leila#and one day while ekim and leila are walking to school leila is hit by a car#and the person that hit Leila was wearing a clown mask and then drove off into the parking lot of a nearby school#where only rich kids attend#and so people are able to conclude that whoever hit leila was someone that went to that school#but the school covers up the whole thing and then to make amends offers a scholarship to three students from the neighborhood#and ekim wanting to be the avenger attends the rich school along with her two friends bekir and ayse#and boy does this school have its problems. like crazy ass bullying#and its all about how ekim’s trying to figure out who hit leila while also trying to survive the very intense bullying culture at the school#and you know after watching so many foreign dramas and seeing how bullying seems to be a very common issue in all of them#its starting to make me see how the us is a little bit different in that regard#don’t get me wrong we have some very sick and twisted bullying happening here#but a lot of is cyber and relational bullying#so not necessarily as physical or even verbal but mostly done through rumors and gossip and exclusion#and then with the added fact of being jerks on the internet#and although relational bullying is terrible the stuff ive seen in these kdramas and turkish dramas seems... like REALLY bad?#Ive seen a lot of Koreans talk about how bullying is a really severe problem in their schools but I wonder how bad it actually is in turkey#cause I assume duy beni is not the 100% accurate portrayal of turkish schools#anyways
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