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#is really nervewracking for him!!!
rainymoodlet · 1 year
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Kiss Me in Komorebi+ 🌸 behind the scenes
an off-camera moment! daniel is just a human man with a stomach full of butterflies and a cold sweat keeping him up late into the night: of course he'd call his mamá for some advice before one of the most important nights of his life!
feat. some stunning shots of @bionibots' fantastic mansion! (known as satamura bukeyashiki in-universe!)
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nbmudkip · 2 years
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SCREECHES AND PISSES AND WAILS i am so fucking excited for scramble lims that i am going . To EXPLODE
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talaok · 1 year
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Will you kiss me?
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Pairing: Pedro pascal x reader
Summary: You are a famous actress who Pedro has a crush on, and he finally gets to meet you once you get both invited to The Graham Norton Show
warnings: just fluff
a/n: I had to
"What a pair we have here tonight huh?"Graham spoke enthusiastically, making the audience explode in roaring cheers and applauses.
You just smiled as you tried looking at the crowd, getting overwhelmed by the blinding lights.
"Y/n Y/l/n and Pedro Pascal, just- wow"
Other applauses filled the studio.
"Ok so let's start with you y/n, you have a show coming out next week, two oscar nominated films already out, and one more coming out next month" he took a deep breath, feigning fatigue "You must be tired, I mean, How long has it been since you slept?" he joked, making you laugh.
"well I did work a lot this past year, but it was worth it, I'm happy I got to be part of so many wonderful projects and I'm really proud of all of them, I just can't wait for people to see them"
"well I'm sure we're all gonna love them"
"I hope so, I'm always nervous about it"
"Really?" The man beside you asked, surprise clear in his tone.
Pedro Pascal,
You had heard of him before, of the boom he seemed to have made lately, but had never met him until half an hour ago, when you briefly introduced yourselves to one another.
He looked nervous, awkward even, and you didn't know if it was because of the show he was about to get on, if he just was like that, or if there was something else bothering him.
"of course, when I go to premiers I'm always looking over at how people are reacting, if they're like bored or on their phones or actually interested, it's nervewracking, don't you?"
"well of course I do" he chuckled "but I'm no one compared to you"
He had a beautiful smile, you noticed, sweet, comforting.
"oh stop it" you smacked his shoulder playfully " you're a big deal, Pedro"
He just shook his head, still smiling softly, and Graham took the opportunity to intervene.
"of course you are, I mean, Game of Thrones, Narcos," he listed " and now the Mandalorian and The last of us, I mean you're really killing it"
The crowd cheered some more at the mention of those shows.
"thank you," he said shyly, looking like he almost wanted them to stop.
"so how does it feel?" he asked, "to be on such massive hits at the same time?"
"Well, it feels... scary" he laughed, joined by the audience
"you don't like being the center of attention?" Graham asked
"oh no I do" he corrected, making you laugh "It's just frightening at times, 
but I'm having a good time y'know, it's also comforting seeing everyone I've worked with kind of be in the same position as me" he shrugged.
"People you've worked with?"
"yes, you know like Bella Ramsey, they're also- well they're young so of course, they're new to this- but, y'know, we're not used to all this attention and it feels good to have someone by your side who understands what's going on"
"of course" graham nodded "that's true, Bella is really young" he noticed "that's a thing both your shows have in common, young people," he said, "how did that feel? working with the new generation, I'm not saying you're old, but did you ever feel left out?"
"oh, all time" Pedro laughed
"yeah me too" you agreed "there were times when I was really lost but too ashamed to ask " you laughed in embarrassment
"absolutely," Pedro said, " they have a language of their own"
"right?!" you exclaimed, happy someone finally understood you.
"yes, like, there's one term that I learned recently that's really wonderful- somebody was saying - you swerve - "
You frowned
"do you know what swerving is?"
"nope" 
"I was like oh- get somebody off your scent or something like that- I don't know - confuse somebody, and they were like: no, they come in for a kiss and you swerve" he demonstrated, pretending to be avoiding a kiss on the cheek.
"Isn't that great?"
you nodded, laughing, as an idea came to you
"We should try"
His eyes widened as he turned to you 
"c'mon swerve me"
"no, I cannot swerve you!"
"c'mon it's for science"
"I can't, I can't swerve y/n Y/l/n, that's like - a crime"
"oh stop it, just do it, I wanna try it c'mon," you said, flattered
"ok fine, but just because I can't say no to you" he surrendered
"ok" you cleared your throat, preparing yourself "Oh wow, hi Pedro" you pretended to greet him, going in for a kiss.
He just smiled, as he did, eventually avoid your kiss,
his beard grazed your cheek, and the proximity to him, sparked something inside you, something quick, but likewise persistent.
As you leaned away, you noticed with amusement the flush on his cheeks and had to bite down a smile.
He fanned himself exaggeratedly "I'm blushing," he mumbled, making you chuckle, as you rested a hand on his arm, trying to soothe him.
" So how does swerving feel?" Graham asked
"it's... interesting" you glanced at him.
"It makes me feel rude" he looked at you too now, "I would never do it, it feels- it's mean"
"oh we know you wouldn't" you reassured him.
"I didn't like it" he shook his head
You smiled, tilting your head "would it make you feel better if we did it again without the swerving?"
You noticed how he seemed to have a momentary shutdown.
"yes," he said bluntly
"oh my god yes"
You laughed softly, as his mouth gaped open.
"Will you kiss me?" he almost begged, which was funny considering you had proposed it.
"Alright then, come here" you gestured, and he leaned closer, letting you press a quick kiss to his cheek.
"there" you smiled
"I think I just died"
"oh stop it, you're flattering me," you said, noticing a trace of red on his face "whoops, sorry I left a lipstick print" you went to clean it 
"no no" he stopped you 
"please leave it, I want proof this actually happened"
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disneyprincemuke · 4 months
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everybody talks too much
alternatively: logan accidentally forgets his relationship is meant to be a secret
(series masterlist)
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"so the people want to know," the host pauses with a small grin. "why are you always carrying (y/n)'s stuff on a race weekend? it's been brought to my attention that it happens every weekend without fail."
a picture flashes on the screen, one of them entering the paddocks where he's got two bags over his shoulder. one that's visibly his with the fluorescent yellow, and another with a big black cat keychain hanging off of it.
another is presented: the race is over and he's got his helmet hanging on the tips of his fingers from the strap, and then he's got her helmet in his arms.
"well, it's just something we've done since we started our junior career, actually" logan shrugs, smiling at the memory. the conversation had gone simply when they were friends: carry her things to look like a gentleman.
the concept did actually work before they got together, girls gawking at his generosity and very gentlemanly behaviour. and it sort of just carried into their normalcy after they got together. it's also his subtle way of being able to play the part of her boyfriend to the public without giving too much away.
"and you know, she's my girlfriend, so i've kinda got to-" logan stops himself as he processes what he said in his head. he laughs sheepishly, a hand coming up to scratch the back of his neck.
the host stares at him, wide-eyed with a knowing grin. "i mean, my best friend," he corrects himself with a knowing point at her. "for like, a really long time. it's really just routine for us. i think before we got a lot closer, oscar was the one doing it for her a lot."
and thankfully for him, the host continues on with another question. and he just knows he won't hear the end of this from his pr manager, and his girlfriend would never let him live it down.
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logan sighs tiredly, closing his mouth. across the table, oscar throws his head back roaring in laughter as he clutches his stomach. "it's not funny!"
"it's so funny," oscar wipes away a tear that's formed in his eye. "you called her your girlfriend in front of - what - hundreds of people?"
beside him, lily sighs tiredly and shakes her head. "i'm sure it was very nervewracking when you slip up like that."
"it was," logan sighs. he rolls his eyes and shakes his head at his earlier predicament. "i'm so lucky that the host literally just moved on without saying anything. but i know just from her smile that she knows i'm lying."
"mate, even alex can tell you're lying!" oscar bursts, holding his head in one hand with the other clutching his chest. "you've got to brush up on your lying skills. you guys will get caught before the season is over if you keep this up."
"keep what up?" she approaches the table, pulling the empty seat out next to logan. they all stare at her, logan just dropping his head in shame. he thought she'd have known by now what happened because it's all alex and george could talk about when he saw them.
lily shifts in her seat uncomfortably. "you don't know?"
"is there something i should know?" she laughs nervously, looking at lily and oscar. then she turns to logan, who's been strangely quiet. with his silence and avoiding her gaze, her smile drops and she slumps her shoulders. "did you do something? ba- logan, i swear if you dropped another one of my makeup palettes... i don't know what i'll do to you."
"i accidentally called you my girlfriend on stage," logan mutters, folding his arms over his chest. "i got too comfortable."
a small smile stretches her lips. she turns away from logan before resting her wrist on his shoulder. "i know."
"you know?" oscar's jaw drops. "and you're not mad?"
"it was getting a bit boring, anyway," she shrugs, picking up the menu that's laid flat on the table. "also, max approached me and told me what happened. and then he asked me, and then carlos came and asked me... and then alex and george..."
"you're seriously not mad?" logan frowns, peeking up at her slightly to meet her eyes. "i'm sorry. i know you don't want anyone finding out - it's honestly hard enough for you. you don't need problems like this making you feel worse."
"no," she laughs, squeezing his shoulder. "i think it's funny watching everyone put up a whiteboard with red yarn trying to connect the dots to debunk our relationship status."
she turns to logan and shakes him. "seriously, baby? don't worry about it."
logan sighs. "okay, if you say so."
"this conversation didn't go the way i'd hoped," oscar frowns, picking up his menu aggressively. "i wanted to watch you guys fight."
"you're such a good friend, oscar."
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kidy/n
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liked by sebastianvettel, oscarpiastri and 64,307 others
kidy/n guys don’t worry he’s still single and he’s been reprimanded for calling me his girlfriend 🙏🏼 (we made him pay me 20 dollars)
view 2,975 comments…
user1 my entire world has been shattered
user2 like exactly wdym it was just a mistake calling her his gf??
user3 no no theyre together in my head
liamlawson30 hey why am i there
kidy/n u were in the frame 🤷🏼‍♀️
liamlawson30 wow people dont even ask for consent anymore
kidy/n ok sry
logansargeant my sincerest apologies, i keep forgetting youre a single girlboss 🙏🏼
kidy/n apology accepted (i want 20 dollars more)
user4 NOOOOOOO TAKE THAT BACK
user5 LOGAN FIGHT BACK
user6 oh thank god
user7 k hater who asked u
oscarpiastri was funny watching logan get scolded
user8 leak the footage
oscarpiastri she took my phone away before so no video evidence ☹️
user9 Y/N U HATER
kidy/n it was necessary, he leaks too much 😀
user10 and here we thought logan was hard launching
user11 istg it it ever comes out theyre dating, im harassing her with this moment
kidy/n u wont ever catch me 🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️
user11 y/n pls just date logan 🙏🏼
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llamagoddessofficial · 5 months
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I'm on my knees for any more crumbs with prison AU therapist Mc and Sans 🙏 the more equal(?) dynamic is just so good And to the anon that brought it up—I love you
I'll do you one better. Here's some crumbs for ALL of them
Since she's not a nurse, this Mc doesn't have a very strong stomach. Stories of Skull's crimes sometimes make her physically ill.
Generally, Sans and Mc's 'sessions' can be quite pleasant. They talk about current events, how things are going. It's only once she starts trying to explore his feelings that he starts toying with her.
... Red teases her a lot. She tries not to react to it, it's unprofessional, but he can always tell when he's flustering her. He gets this infuriating smug grin.
Since Red is a high risk prisoner, he has to have one hand cuffed to a table during therapy. He often complains that he wishes he could be cuffed alone in a room with her in different circumstances. What Mc doesn't realise is that, considering his strength, the cuffs are basically for decoration- Red just pretends he can't break out of them so she feels more comfortable alone in a room with a massive skeleton monster who openly displays interest in her.
Sans doesn't require cuffs in his sessions. And the only time he was cuffed, he snapped them 'accidentally' to make a point. It just makes it all the more nervewracking for Mc.
Skull doesn't know she's his therapist. He thinks she just really cares about him. That's why she keeps coming back to see him, right?
Red isn't the only flirt. Sans is a lot more forward in this AU, considering she knows the truth about his nature. Granted, Sans being 'clear' about something is still incredibly cryptic, but he enjoys the shock in her eyes whenever he calmly flirts with her.
Red's flirting is warm, sincere, and never crosses the line... it leaves her flushed and (though she'd never admit it) flattered. Sans' flirting is nervewracking. It makes her feel like she's a mouse, and Sans is a cat playfully batting at her, capable of clawing her to death at any moment.
Skull gains bits and pieces of speech back a lot faster with her. Unfortunately, that means he's learning how to terrify the guards. It used to be that Skull would just scream or snarl, but now he likes to say broken ominous sentences to guards he doesn't like to see them shit their pants.
He's also figured out that, when he's really upset and angry, if he screams her name enough someone will send her. It's not a great lesson to learn... but it's better than him deciding to attack people.
Whenever Mc tries to get Skull to do therapeutic art with her, he just draws the same thing over and over. The art is scribbly thanks to his tremor, but it always looks like three people; a tall skeleton, a shorter skeleton, and a human. He draws them in various positions- standing together, sitting around a table, sitting on a couch. She suspects one skeleton is him and the human could be her, but she doesn't know who the tall skeleton is.
(It's him, her, and Papyrus. His family)
Sans, for all his power and control, gets ratty and jealous when she treats other people. The first time he hears her laugh is when she realises that was why he's being moody.
She'd never seen him so delighted before.
Sans likes when she dodges his conversational traps. He'll try to lure her into talking about herself, revealing information to him, but she won't fall for it and always turns it back on him. There's not much he's been able to glean from her. It's always so fun, to play with someone who knows what they're doing.
Again, she'll never admit it. But Mc is fascinated by Sans. Most serial killers are delusional and kinda pathetic, but Sans is as if all the stereotypes of the 'genius mastermind serial killer' were true. She gets to be up close and personal, see how he works; she gets to watch his mask rise and fall in real time.
Of course, he knows she's fascinated. He uses it to keep her coming back. He's fascinated with her, too~
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hihhasotherfixations · 5 months
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Kinktober Day 14: Love bites/Marks - Price x Reader
Kinktober Masterlist
I know it’s no longer October but thanks to personal stuff and an upcoming exam, I hadn’t been able to write. So right now I’m just taking it at my own pace and posting it during December. I’m really really sorry but I hope that’s okay!
See you all for the next depravity 👌
I was writing a werewolf Price for this prompt before but got stuck on it (part of the reason this took so long) so put it aside and wrote this instead :3
If y’all wanna see the werewolf tho, let me know.
CW: gn!reader, jealous Price, hickies, biting, slightly possessive behaviour
Word Count: 1837
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Standing on the field, your arms were crossed over your chest as you viewed the new soldiers, gauging their abilities and filing away their endurance and skill in your head, storing it for later when you had to write the reports.
Price had asked you to do this, because he’d fallen behind on paperwork due to an unexpected mission, now having to catch up on days of paperwork that he missed.
“What do you think?”
Looking beside yourself at the voice, you took notice of the recently promoted lieutenant. They’d gotten the promotion thanks to an outstanding performance on a mission last month and had been following you around for the last few days.
Knowing how nervewracking it was to be new to such a position however, you didn’t mind, happily showing him the ropes by using your own experience as a lieutenant.
“Why don’t you tell me? I’ll say if I agree.” You hummed, motioning a hand to the men and women running through the course.
Moving a little closer, the lieutenant looked past your shoulder to where you were looking, a hand landing on your lower back that had your eyebrow raising.
“I don’t know, some certainly seem to be performing better than the rest.”
“And how would you write that down in a report?” You tested, a little sceptical at the proximity that was now between you two.
“Well, him-“ The lieutenant started, pointing an arm over your shoulder, causing you to be crowded against the railing you were standing by. You frowned at that, though you looked at the soldier being pointed at all the same. “He’s excelling in the endurance aspect. Definitely above his team’s level.”
“Anything else?” You asked, getting a little annoyed now because he wouldn’t back up.
“What else is there?”
Sighing out, you pushed the lieutenant’s arm back down. “Well you said it yourself. He’s above his team’s level. But he’s not using it to aid his team. Meaning while he excels in endurance, he’s failing in communication and teamwork. 2 bad for 1 good. That’s not enough.” You spoke curtly.
“Those two are interchangeable, so it’s really 1 bad, 1 good, don’t you think?” The lieutenant tried and you scowled.
“Don’t contest me on this.” You commanded, turning around and forcing the hand off your back as you took a step to the side to create some space.
“I’m simply looking out for the future of our-“
“I would take the word of an experienced lieutenant over your own, soldier.” A new voice suddenly spoke up and you both turned to see captain Price standing there, his arms crossed in front of him while he held a thunderous expression.
“Captain.” You smiled, relieved that you wouldn’t have to defend yourself over something so idiotic and infuriating.
“Lieutenant.” Price curtly nodded to you in greeting, walking over and purposely getting in between you and the other man, not greeting him either.
“Done with paperwork?” You asked and the man looked at you. He looked pissed, yet as his eyes crossed with yours, something else flashed in them as they briefly flitted up and down.
“Definitely not. Simply taking a break, see how you’re getting on.” He spoke, looking out over the field again.
Suddenly being cut off however, the new lieutenant frowned, put off. Leaning forward, he tried to get the other man’s attention. “Captain. With all due respect, we were in the middle of-“
“I suggest you zip it, soldier.” Price interrupted with a growl, refusing to address the man by his title. “Y/N. With me.” He spoke as he then turned around, expecting you to follow.
Without question, you did.
“Wait, but what about the assessment?” The lieutenant called out and Price responded without even turning back.
“I expect your report on my desk by tonight!”
Raising an eyebrow, you looked back to see the new lieutenant stand there, defeated, before you turned back to Price and jogged to catch up with him. “Don’t you think you’re being a little hard on him? You gave me two days to fill out the report, him not even half a day?”
“Call it a trial by fire.” Price spoke, clearly still pissed as he pushed open the door to the building, waiting for you to get in before him.
Deciding to let sleeping dogs lie, you just walk in, trekking the way to the office that you’d done so many times before.
Before long, you arrived and Price unlocked the door, opening it and stepping inside before suddenly reaching out to grab your wrist, pulling you inside and twirling you around while he slammed the door shut, pushing you up against it immediately after.
“Now what the hell was he doing, huh?” He asked, the gravel of his voice deep and threatening while you stood there, eyes wide while he reached his hand next to your hip, locking the door.
“W-What?”
“Don’t ‘what’ me, soldier.” He spoke, glaring into your eyes as he stepped up, pushing his chest against yours to pin you better. “You know perfectly well what was happening. His proximity to you, his wandering hands, that infuriating gaze. It pisses me off.”
Your eyes were a little wide as you looked up to him, his hat casting a shadow over his face that caused the dark look in his eyes to worsen twice over.
“I would never.” You whisper and at that, his eyes seemed to soften a little, seeing how spooked you looked.
“No, hey. I know you wouldn’t, my love. I trust you implicitly.” He spoke, running the back of his fingers over your cheek and down to your chin. “But he needs to learn that you’re mine.”
Growling the last word out, you got no chance before his hand gripped your neck, using the possessive hold to pull you into a kiss as he smashed his lips on yours.
Taking in a surprised breath, your hands shot up to hold onto his shoulders while his fingers flexed around your throat, deepening the kiss instantly as he pushed his tongue past your lips, rolling it against yours.
Your eyes closed while he kissed you, barely able to keep up as his left hand travelled down your side, past your hip and to your thigh, where he gripped tight.
Grunting softly into the kiss, you balled a fist into his clothing, causing you to pull him slightly closer while his lips moved with yours.
Humming, he let go of your throat, his hand instead sliding to the back of your neck, with his thumb by your ear as he savoured the taste of you on his tongue, the feel of you beneath his touch, and the warmth of you against his body.
After a second more, he finally broke the kiss, your breathing a bit heavier as he looked at you with dilated pupils.
“What are you planning?” You whisper, seeing his mind tick behind his eyes.
“It’s about time people know you’re taken.” He whispered, his voice low and gruff as his hand on your thigh squeezed.
Biting your lip, you looked at him. “And how do you want to do that without getting us both court martialled?”
“Implications.” He murmured, leaning his head forward and burying it in your neck.
“Captain?” You whispered, unsure, and Price groaned softly at that, pushing his hardening cock into you, his hips grinding against yours.
“Keep calling me that and see where it leads, love.”
Your mouth opened to let out a shaky breath at the friction, feeling your own arousal skyrocket.
“Like that?” He rumbled, his breath ghosting across your skin. Closing you eyes, you didn’t get much time to answer as suddenly, Price sunk his teeth into the skin of your neck.
Grunting, you jolted from the sudden sensation, causing you to push into Price’s bulge, making him chuckle as he let go of your skin, kissing it as he pushed you further against the door. “Stay still, lieutenant. Be good and follow orders.” He muttered into your skin, pressing kisses to your neck after while his hand then travelled from your neck down to your other leg.
“Sir?” You whispered, using the honorific on purpose, though your question was genuine as you felt him caress the back of your thighs up and down.
Smirking against your neck, Price grazed his teeth across the sensitive skin, moving up to your ear where he breathed softly, knowing it would drive you mad as you felt a tingle shoot down your spine, causing your back to instinctively arch.
“That’s it.” Price praised, only to suddenly hoist your legs up and off the ground by your thighs. Your eyes widened and you gasped at your sudden loss of balance, though Price kept you up all the same. With a little guidance from him, you wrapped your legs around his waist, biting your lower lip as you felt his erection now pushed directly into you.
There was no escape, no wiggle room, no nothing as his hands moved from your hips to your ass, keeping you aloft with it as well as his hips pressing you into the door.
“John-“ You whimpered but the man tutted.
“That’s not the right way to address me and you know it.” He purred, pressing a kiss right below your ear afterwards.
Biting your lip, you shifted your hips a bit to feel the friction, one of your hands moving up to tangle into his hair while you took off his hat with the other.
Humming softly, Price took advantage at the sudden free reign, starting to kiss and lightly bite up and down your neck until his lips hit a spot right above your collarbone that made you twitch.
Not wasting a second, he wrapped his lips around it and began to suck, making your eyes flutter shut as your hand tightened in his hair.
With care, Price sucked a hickey into the sweet spot, his fingers digging into the flesh of your ass as he started to slowly grind into you, not allowing a single gap between your bodies as he kept you close.
“I’ll make sure nobody can miss these.” He whispered as he pulled away, moving further up, starting to suck another hickey.
“But what if-“
“Nobody will touch you but me.” He interrupted, enforcing his words by thrusting his hips into yours, making you feel every inch of his bulge.
“Please.” You whispered and Price hummed, pressing butterfly kisses to your neck before biting down one more time near your shoulder, his hands squeezing your ass again.
“No, darling.” He then chuckled, pulling away. “You’re not getting anything until I’m sure that people will know you’re taken.” With that, he moved to the other side of your neck, beginning to repeat the process while his hold on you tightened.
And while the hickeys and love bites on your neck and collarbone were for others to see, the fingerprints on your ass were for one man only.
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pianocat939 · 11 months
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Ok so imagine: yan Chai punk ghost flower (pavitr, hobbie, Gwen, miles) sharing but platonic
And here I thought I would never have to write for Gwen /sarc/I still don't like her-
No Tw I think- other than implied yan type thoughts/feelilngs?
So here's like each Yan's role in the yan friend group-
Miles: He's really hesitant on acting on his feelings because he knows they’re problematic and wrong, but he slowly slips into his obsession. Istg you could say hi to him like a normal friend and he's standing there screaming internally from nervousness. Basically the awkward friend.
Gwen: Mom friend in a different form. The easiest way to explain it I guess is kind of a more stern mom friend. Like if you get hurt or something she'll call you an idiot but proceed to treat your wounds to the max.
Pavitr: The one inviting you to hangouts and constantly wanting to spend time with you. He's also the one to want to know a lot about you so if you ever wanna info dump or just talk about your interests he's your man (or Miles).
Hobie: The one who'll do the daring and nervewracking stuff for you if you don't wanna do it or need to see someone to do it before. Honestly, he gives cool uncle vibe. He'll also be the one getting you lots of stuff because either you're broke or it's just easier for him to get.
(This was more fun than I expected haha)
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thefirstknife · 7 months
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The thing about the final lore tab is that, besides the fact that I'm devastated in ways I can't put into words, the way Saint was affected by this whole thing is unique.
This is obviously primarily Osiris' trauma that we can't really properly comprehend, but Osiris wasn't fully conscious for most of it. It fell to Saint to wait, and hope, that Osiris would be brought back and that he would wake up. There was no certainty for him there. And even before that, he watched "Osiris" being strange and distant and acting weird but obviously nobody could even begin to speculate that the person he interacted with wasn't Osiris at all, so the trauma went from there, from learning that he lost Sagira, then to the shock of Osiris being kidnapped and then the quest to bring him back and then him being brought back in a coma and then the 9 long months of waiting until he woke up.
The state of constant anxiety he experienced for almost 2 years total is nervewracking and gutwrenching. I don't think we can fully understand the impact of that on someone. And the best, or worst, thing is that Saint is infinitely patient. He is infinitely emotional and merciful and opts to be the better person and to wait and wait and wait. And hope that it can be fixed.
Except it can't. It can't be fixed. And not only can it not be fixed, but there will never be justice for it. It's impossible. There isn't a way to truly punish Savathun for what she's done. There is no relief or catharsis for Saint. While Osiris can mostly move on, Osiris did not really have to go through what Saint had to go through. Their traumas are different and Saint's is the type that no one can really understand and there is nothing he can do about it.
A younger Saint would've killed Immaru and then Savathun, 100%. But now he can't, because he isn't that person anymore. And yet, the grief and trauma remain and he has no outlet for them and nothing that can be done to enact any sort of justice. So he settles for pure rage, letting himself essentially vent that anger out, but still leave everyone alive. And there's really no true release here. He got a brief satisfaction of killing Savathun over and over, but at the end of the day, she will walk away and nothing will change and there will be no fix.
Which is why he comes back and just cries. As he said, this wasn't for Osiris, it was for him. It was his outlet for anger and nothing else. After that, there's nothing else left to do but cry. No one can really help him carry the burden of what he's gone through and besides: he's a Titan. He's the one carrying other people's burdens. Which just added to the trauma because for so long he's only cared for others, mostly for Osiris, and never really let himself fully grieve or talk about it. Saint never really processed the horrifying ordeal of constant concern for his loved one, then the realisation that his loved one isn't even with him, then the desperate search and then waiting for months and months for the hope that his loved one might wake up. Then Osiris is awake and we're forced to play allies with the person who traumatised both of them in an incomprehensibly terrifying way. Saint had no other way of attempting to make his peace with the situation.
Year of processing grief. I'm in shambles.
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suraemoon · 2 days
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Could I please request jealous Rosie hcs or Rosie reaction when you are the initiate the first move hcs. Thank you 😊
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I’ll admit right now that the turn out time for this is embarrassing. You’ve caught me in…I think the most stressful week of 2024 so far buttt here we are. My deepest apologies. I’ll be better. Here’s some Rosie. 🌹
Jealousy, Jealousy:
Rosie is very protective of his girl but not overbearing. He knows how secure the relationship is and trusts you to make good decisions. But, of course he notices when another man is getting a little too friendly. When at public places, Rosie doesn’t usually get far enough away for stuff to like this to happen, but due to how drop dead gorgeous you are (the pretty smile that can brighten up anyone’s day, the sparkling eyes that resemble a steady pond, the million dollar legs that give Betty Grable a run for her money) the bold men stay bold. Laughing at things that aren’t meant to be jokes, getting a little too close, etc. He is the king of passive aggression and snark. It’s so obvious that he’s annoyed. Just by the tone of his voice, anyone with common sense can tell he isn’t amused.
An arm wrapped around your waist, interlocking fingers, a random kiss to the temple.
Increased use of the words “us” and “we”
Just plain out saying that you’re his ____ (girlfriend, fiancée, wife, etc)
He’s not subtle but that’s because he has no reason *to* be subtle. He’ll happily let the whole would know he’s yours and you’re his. He’ll redirect conversations, end them as soon as possible, whisk you away into the crowd.
The next day he casually comes across the same man while you’re at home, safe and absolutely clueless of the intersection. That talk isn’t pretty, I’ll tell you that. He’s a lawyer, he has a way with words. It’s direct, serious, and straight to the point. It’s in his job description to argue but it isn’t really an argument, due to the fact that the other man is left terrified of Rosie. Stood frozen in place, shocked. It’s like getting yelled at by a stern parent. Let’s just say…you never see that man again and if you do, he steers clear of your path like you’re a black cat on a halloween night.
A Feminine First Move:
Anon, you’ve got the thought of Rosie’s reaction to a girl making the first move stuck in my head and it’s so adorable. I’m thinking it happens when he first comes to Thorpe Abbotts and is so awkward and dorky. (Talking about flying planes in underwear, you know…the usual) His nickname is Rosie for more reasons then one, he has the prettiest blush. When you walk up to him offering a drink at the bar followed by a slow dance to the romantic jazz of the band, his cheeks are a shade of pink for the whole rest of the night. He’s taken back over how a girl as pretty as you can be so invested, so quick. Imagine his awkward conversation fillers; your siren eyes are so distracting, staring deep into his soul. You listen intently to every single word, a trait that’s appreciated but nervewracking at the same time. He stutters as he talks, trying not to bring up anything embarrassing that would bring it all to ruin.
He tries to keep up with your flirting by replying with some romantic remarks of his own. Soon he gets into the groove and you two have such a magnetic energy. It’s dazzling, it’s exciting, it’s everything. He really gets into his element once the surprise wears off. That doesn’t stop him from reverting back to his dorky, adorable self once you give him a kiss goodnight, your red lipstick on his pink cheek. He waits until your out of sight to dance his way to bed. You two dream of eachother that night. It’s the blossoming of something new, something special.
the dancing i’m talking about lol
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sequinsmile-x · 5 months
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i know we don't know much about Hotch's family in the show, but i keep seeing these 'toxic mother in law' videos on tiktok and wondered if you'd write something where he tells off his mom when she's rude to emily? like specifically after they've had a baby
BESTIE
When I tell you I haven't stopped thinking about this I mean it. It has been a while since something got away from me like this, so I really hope you like it.
-x-
For the Better
Emily knew that Aaron's relationship with his mother wasn't great to begin with and she didn’t want to come between them, didn’t want to pull at already loose threads by telling him his mother was sometimes rude to her.
AKA - The one where Emily has a tense relationship with her mother-in-law
-x-
Words: 5.3k
Warnings: Toxic mother-in-law, mommy issues
Read over on Ao3, or below the cut
“I feel sick.” 
Aaron suppresses a smile as he looks at his girlfriend, aware that if she thought he was making fun of her he’d be in trouble. He looks her up and down, clocking the tension in her shoulders, in her jaw, and the way her cuticles already look torn to shreds. Her eyes flick back to the front door and then her watch, and she raises her hand. He walks over and wraps one arm around her waist whilst his other hand stops hers on the way to her mouth, kissing her knuckles and smiling softly before she can continue to chew on her nail bed. 
“Sweetheart,” he says softly, squeezing her hip reassuringly, “You’re just meeting my mom.” 
She furrows her brows at him, pulling back from his comforting embrace just enough for her eyes to meet his. 
“There is no just about this, Aaron,” she says, her chest tight whilst her stomach flipped, butterflies she didn’t quite understand making her feel nauseous. This was important, more important than she cared to admit even to herself. She was meeting his mom. She sighs and shakes her head, furious at herself for feeling as anxious as she does as she rests her head on his shoulder. “What if she doesn’t like me?” 
She says it so quietly he doesn’t pick up on it at first. He furrows his brow at the absurdity of it, “Baby, what are you talking about? Everyone falls in love with you the moment they meet you.” 
“You didn’t,” she quips, her eyebrows raised in challenge, and he sighs, a beat of silence passing between them before he tries again. He cups her cheek and turns her so she’s looking at him properly. 
“That’s only because I thought you were so beautiful I felt guilty because I was still married to Haley.” 
She rolls her eyes and hums as she fights a smile, “You do love to re-write that part of our history, don’t you?” 
He answers her question with a smile and leans in to stamp a kiss against her lips. He can almost taste her nerves, the intensity of them uncharacteristic, and any humour he had found in the situation so far disappears. Immediately replaced by worry that only she or Jack could make him feel. 
He won’t tell her that he’s slightly anxious too because he doesn’t want to make her feel worse. This relationship with his mother had always been strained. She overcompensated for where his father had failed, overbearing to try to make up for the violence that had permeated everything in their home that made him feel smothered even as a kid, a feeling that had only grown as he had. His relationship with his mother relied on the fact she lived so far away, their relatively limited contact and the few and far between bearable because he knew they were rare. 
He changes tactics when he sees Emily isn’t any calmer at all, and he kisses her forehead, desperate to get to the bottom of why she was finding this so nervewracking. Why his usually unflappable girlfriend was acting like she was about to enter into a life-or-death situation. 
“Em,” he says, his voice as soft as his touch as he strokes her cheek, “What’s this all about? I’ve seen you stare down serial killers without blinking. Hell, you were an undercover spy at one point,” he smiles when she does, pride and joy sparking in his gut at the fact he’s able to draw such a reaction out of her even when she was stressed, “You’re acting like you’ve never met a partner’s parent’s before.” 
Her eyes go wide and her breath catches in her chest, and she knows her momentary reaction is enough for him to read, his eyebrows raising almost to his hairline as he watches her closely. 
Sometimes she really hated that he was so good at his job. 
“You…have met someone you’ve dated parents before, right?” 
She blows out a breath, “Yes,” she says firmly, sighing again when he looks at her with disbelief painted across his face, “Once. It was my college boyfriend and his mom hated me because she walked in on us having sex in his dorm room.”
Aaron clears his throat to stop himself from laughing, “Sweetheart, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad-”
“That’s how I met her, Aaron,” she says firmly, cutting across him. She narrows her eyes as she watches him press his lips together, clearly trying not to laugh at her, and she lightly pushes at his chest in retribution whilst making no attempt to actually pull away from him, “Don’t laugh at me, it was so embarrassing.” 
He leans in to kiss her, mumbling his apology against her lips, “Sorry, I’m not laughing at you I promise,” he says, kissing her forehead before he pulls back, “And this is completely different. We know she’s on her way, she asked to meet you,” he pauses and smiles at her, “We’re both fully clothed.” 
“Aaron, I swear to Go-”
“Em,” he says, smiling as he pulls her closer, “It will be fine, I promise.” 
She blows out a shaky breath and nods, wanting to believe him more than anything, “I know,” she says, swallowing thickly, “It’s just…it’s important. It’s you,” she says, running her fingers through his hair, “This isn’t just any guy’s mother that I’m meeting. It’s yours,” she presses her lips together as she avoids his eye contact, her cheeks tinged pink with embarrassment, “She’ll be my mother-in-law one day.” 
It was something they both knew they wanted. They’d spoken about marriage and children and everything that came with them only a couple of weeks into dating. She knew it was something that would have scared her if it was with anyone else, the speed of the relationship was unlike anything else she’d ever known, but with him, it felt right. Perfect. It’s why they’d recently bought the house they were standing in despite the fact they’d only been together for a year. It was a solid foundation for the life they were building together, the place they called home. 
He smiles as he tucks her hair behind her ear, “Yes she will be,” he confirms, hooking a finger under her chin to make her look at him, “And she’ll love you.” 
She wants to ask him how he knows that, but the doorbell rings and she feels herself get tense again, her shoulders tight as she looks at the door, “Here we go.” 
“You’ll be fine,” Aaron assures her before kisses her once more and pulls away, “And if all else fails,” he says, winking at her before he walks towards the door, “Just remember she lives four states away and isn’t in town very often.” 
She laughs and shakes her head at him, her arms crossed over her chest as she watches him walk to the front door. It was still hard to believe sometimes that someone loved her as much as Aaron did. A love that was both fierce and gentle, something that was somehow always exactly what she needed. He turns and winks at her before he opens the door. 
“Mom, hi,” he says, pulling the woman into a hug, “Come in.” 
Emily feels frozen in place as he closes the door and leads his mother over. Theresa Hotchner was shorter than Emily expected her to be. She immediately realised how much Aaron looks like his mother. It answers questions she never realised she had, showing her where the features she hopes her children will inherit one day had come from. 
“Mom,” Aaron says, smiling as he comes to a stop a couple of paces away from Emily, “This is Emily,” he looks at his girlfriend, “Emily, this is my mom - Theresa.” 
“Lovely to meet you,” Emily says, reaching out to shake her hand. She breathes out in shock when Theresa pulls her into a hug.
“Nice to meet you too,” Theresa says as she pulls back, a smile fixed on her face, “My son has told me almost nothing about you, apart from your name and that you work with him.” 
Emily looks at her boyfriend briefly and she chuckles, “Well, he’s never been much of a talker.” 
Aaron steps towards Emily and wraps his arm around her waist, “That’s why you’re here for dinner, Mom,” he says as he starts to lead them to the dining room, “So you can get to know each other.” 
Dinner, overall, goes better than Emily anticipated. Once she gets into the swing of things it feels like the many dinners she’s had with her own mother, a small performance of sorts that she’d perfected at a young age. By the time they are eating dessert, a cheesecake that Penelope had made them, she almost feels relaxed. 
“So, Emily,” Theresa says, leaning back in her chair, “You never said what your parents do for a living.”
Emily feels Aaron place his hand on her knee, a reassuring squeeze to her joint that he always gave her whenever her parents were mentioned, an automatic reaction of sorts she’s sure he isn’t even aware of. 
“They are both US ambassadors,” she says, reaching for her wine and taking a sip, “I haven’t seen my father since I was young, but my mom is currently based out of DC.” 
“Currently?” Theresa asks, raising an eyebrow. 
“Emily travelled a lot when she was growing up,” Aaron says, squeezing her knee again, “She and her mom moved around for her postings,” his phone starts to ring from his pocket and he digs it out, sighing when he sees Strauss’s name on the screen, “She can speak several languages. Sorry,” he says, standing up and pointing at his phone, “I just have to take this.” 
Emily is sure she’s never disliked Strauss more as she’s left alone with Theresa, but she smiles at her boyfriend as he walks away. She turns back to Theresa, who is eyeing her curiously. 
“So…you’re well off then?” Theresa asks, and Emily feels her shoulders get tighter, something about the other woman’s tone almost accusatory. She clears her throat and nods. 
“My family have always been lucky,” she says diplomatically. She always hated discussing money, how it changed the way people looked at her. She still remembered how awful she had felt when she initially told Aaron just how rich she was, and the look on his face when she said she could buy the house they now lived in outright, “I was very privileged to grow up the way I did.” 
She knows it’s not how she feels, that she would have given anything to not always be the new kid, to know how it felt to have roots so it wasn’t something she had to learn now she was in her 40s, but she knew from experience that wasn’t what people liked to hear. She had to be grateful for what she had, otherwise, she was just spoiled. 
Theresa clicks her tongue and reaches for her wine, “The house makes sense now,” she says, looking around at it, her eyes briefly landing on a picture of Emily and Jack that was hanging on the wall, “I thought it was a bit much for two FBI agents.” 
Emily clenches her jaw, her walls going up immediately, the need to protect herself, her home, from anyone including Aaron’s mother, instinctual. Before either of them can say anything else Aaron walks back into the room, shaking his head as he puts his phone back in his pocket. 
“Sorry about that,” he says, taking his place back next to Emly at the dining table, “She just wanted to double-check some paperwork,” he looks back and forth between his mother and his girlfriend and he frowns when he feels something in the air he can’t name, “Is everything okay?” 
Theresa smiles and nods, “Of course, sweetie,” she says, turning her attention back to Emily, her smile never shifting, “I was just telling Emily how lovely your house is.” 
Emily sits back and listens as Aaron talks to his mother about how they’d looked for a long time before they found the perfect place, a sense of dread pooling in her gut. 
She had a feeling this was only the beginning of what felt like it was going to be a tense relationship. 
___
Emily had never been this happy. 
She smiles as she rests her head on her husband's shoulder, sighing contentedly as she watches Jack dance with her mother, laughter flowing from both of them in a way that makes her heart sing. 
The wedding was small, something they’d both wanted. It was just their friends and family in Dave’s backyard. The ceremony took place at sunset and now those who were left, Jessica, the team, Jack, and Emily and Aaron’s mothers, were enjoying the last hour or so before they’d head home. 
Aaron kisses the top of her head and she tilts it to look up at him, capturing his smile in a kiss as he leans down, “You okay sweetheart?” 
She nods and kisses him again, “I’m more than okay,” she says, cupping his cheek as he kisses her again. 
“Do you want anything?” He asks, trailing his fingers up and down her arm. He nods towards Dave, the older man standing several feet away, a knowing smile on his face, “Dave said something about vintage scotch he’s kept hold of for our wedding for 5 years.” 
“The old man is full of shit,” she says, purposely speaking loudly enough for Dave to hear, rolling her eyes as he winks at her before she turns her attention to her husband, “We’ve only been together for two years.” 
Aaron shrugs as he kisses her again, the action lost to their wide smiles, “He says he always knew,” he says as he kisses her once more, “So do you want some? Apparently, I have to help him get it from the cellar.”  
She nods, “I’d like some, thank you,” she says, stamping a kiss against his lips before he stands up. She reaches for his hand and squeezes it, the feel of his ring against her skin making her giddy, “Make sure you bring the whole bottle.” 
Aaron smiles at her before he walks away, “Anything for you sweetheart.” 
She bites her lip as she watches him go, her eyes drifting to his ass as it moves in his suit. She jumps slightly as she hears a clearing of a throat, and her eyes go wide as she realises Theresa has slid into the seat next to her. She presses her lips together as she tries to get over the flash of embarrassment she felt at being caught staring at her husband’s ass by her mother-in-law, and she smiles at the other woman. 
“Theresa, hi.”
“I just thought I’d come to see how my new daughter-in-law is doing,” she says, an edge creeping into her smile that she always seemed to save for Emily, “I remember from experience how overwhelming this can be.” 
Emily breathes in a slow breath, something she’d learnt she had to do a lot around Theresa the first day they’d met. She’d rarely been outright rude to her, but the comments, specifically when they were alone, always felt passive-aggressive. 
She’d never mentioned it to Aaron. She knew his relationship with his mother wasn’t all that great to begin with, and she didn’t want to come between them, didn’t want to pull at already loose threads. Theresa was important to Aaron and to Jack, a rare familial connection that both of them had been largely robbed of through no fault of their own, and she didn’t want to be responsible for it falling apart around them. 
She wondered at times if this was what a relationship with a mother was supposed to be like. If she was misreading Theresa’s comments as passive-aggressive when she was simply just interested. Elizabeth never asked any questions without a motive, so Emily had always grown up assuming there was one. She wanted so badly to give Theresa the benefit of the doubt, for Aaron to maintain his relationship with his mother, that she let things slide. 
“I’m great, thank you,” she answers, smiling as she looks back out at the small party happening around her, “Today’s been perfect.” 
Theresa hums, and for a moment Emily thinks that’s it, but she’d never been that lucky. 
“I suppose with such a simple wedding there isn’t much to stress about,” Theresa says, her smile consistent as she looks back at Emily, “When Aaron married Haley they spent what little money they had on it, almost put themselves into debt.” 
Emily clenches her teeth and reaches for the glass of champagne in front of her, draining half of it in one go. Money was always something that her mother-in-law brought up, a sticking point she’d never quite jumped off of since she’d first found out Emily’s background. 
“We only wanted something simple,” Emily says, smiling tightly at her, “Neither of us wanted the fuss.” 
Theresa nods, seemingly agreeing with her, “Of course not. Aaron’s done it all before, and you’re not exactly a young blushing bride.” 
It’s the closest Theresa has ever come to being outright rude to her, and Emily’s mouth falls open slightly in shock. For a moment she forgets where she is, and she furrows her brow, ready to go on the defensive. 
“Excuse-”
“Emily,” Jack says, running over, his excitement over it being the long-awaited wedding day far outweighing the usual tiredness he’d feel at this time, “Come dance with me.” 
The fight drains out of her as quickly as it had pooled, the wide smile Jack exchanges with his grandmother enough to snuff out the spark that had threatened to catch fire deep in her belly. She sighs and she nods, smiling at Theresa as she stands up.
“I’ve been beckoned,” she says, purposely being over-polite as she reaches for Jack’s hand, looking at Theresa for a beat longer than necessary as she allows the little boy to lead her to the dance floor. She smiles at Jack as they face each other, all other feelings other than overwhelming love disappearing as she looks down at his face, “Have you had a good day, sweet boy?” 
He wraps his arms around her tightly and nods, his face pressed against her, “The best day,” he says, leaning back to look at her, his grip around her middle not loosening at all, “You’re officially my mom now.” 
It takes everything in her not to cry and she hugs him back just as tightly, her hand buried in his hair as she leans down to kiss the top of his head. She takes a moment to enjoy it, to feel everything she never thought she’d get to feel, and she knows she’d take the barbed comments from Theresa her whole life if it meant she got to have this. 
“Come on, Jack,” she says, smiling down at him as she pulls back from the hug “Let’s dance.” 
___
Emily yawns as she paces the living room, her lips pressed against her daughter’s head as she walks back and forth, her hand rubbing circles on the newborn’s back. 
“You’re okay, baby,” she whispers, kissing the little girl’s soft skin, “You’re okay, Mommy’s got you.” 
Hazel was two weeks old, and so far had made two things clear - she wasn’t a fan of sleep, and she was obsessed with Emily. Aaron tried to help as much as he could, ensuring Emily got as much rest as possible, but very often Emily was the one who got up in the night with the baby, Hazel’s preference for nursing as opposed to bottle feeding clear from the start. 
She was born three weeks early, coming into the world with determination that Aaron said matched even that of his wife. Emily found it hard to believe that she was still technically supposed to be pregnant, that if she’d gone to term she still wouldn’t know the weight of her daughter against her chest, or have had the opportunity to memorise every single one of Hazel’s perfect features. 
It was a love that she couldn’t describe, instantaneous and overwhelming. It hadn’t faded at all since she’d first been handed her little girl, and if anything it had only grown over the last few weeks, something that she would have claimed was impossible when she was still sitting in her hospital bed. 
Hazel’s cries start to quieten down and Emily looks down at her, smiling when she sees the baby is finally drifting off to sleep. She walks slowly over to the couch and lowers them down onto it, wincing slightly as she tries to get comfortable, the tear she’d experienced during labour almost absurd when she considered how tiny her little girl was. 
“Let’s just sit here for a little while,” she says, making sure Hazel is comfortable against her chest, tucking her into Aaron’s old button-down shirt she was wearing to keep her warm, “We’ll have some Mommy and Hazel time.”
She sighs contentedly as she settles into the couch, and she closes her eyes for a second, allowing herself a moment to enjoy the feel of her daughter against her chest and the relative peace of a house that always seemed to be on the go. 
Her brief stint of silence is cut short as she hears footsteps on the stairs. She freezes for a moment, well aware of who it is, the footfall too heavy for it to be Jack and too light for it to be Aaron, and she blows out a breath, shaking her head as she kisses Hazel’s dark hair.
“Here we go, Haze,” she whispers, “Here comes Grandma.” 
Theresa had come into town that day specifically to meet her granddaughter. Emily had been clear from the start that she didn’t want visitors the first couple of weeks while they got Hazel settled at home. It was something that Elizabeth and the team had agreed to, albeit reluctantly at first, because they knew how much it meant to her. 
Theresa, however, had been different. She hadn’t kept her disappointment hidden at all, commenting whenever she spoke to her son that she didn’t want to miss her grandchild’s first couple of weeks of life, that she wanted to be there as soon as she could just like she had been when Jack was born. 
It wasn’t lost on Emily that her mother-in-law hadn’t had to change her flights when Hazel came early, and she found herself strangely grateful she wouldn’t have to try to stop herself from taking her bait when she was heavily pregnant. 
Emily smiles as Theresa comes into view, and makes a point of keeping her voice quiet, hoping that her mother-in-law takes the hint to do the same, “Sorry if we woke you,” she says, “She needed feeding so I brought her down her so we wouldn’t wake the whole house.” 
Theresa smiles and walks over, sitting on the other end of the couch, “It’s alright,” she says, “Although I don’t know how Jack sleeps through it.” 
Emily presses her lips together, “He has earplugs,” she says, looking down at Hazel, grateful that the baby is still asleep against her, “I left some on your nightstand in case you needed them too.” 
The other woman waves her off, “And what if I slept through you needing my help,” she says dismissively, “I know you’ve never done this before so I wanted to make sure I was available.” 
Emily grinds her teeth for a moment, tightening her hold on her daughter, “We’re fine, I promise. You can go back to bed.” 
Theresa sighs and shifts to get a better look at Hazel, making Emily grateful she’d worn a nursing bra and a cami under the button-down, “I’ve already missed so much,” she says, shaking her head, “I was here the moment Jack was born, but she’s so big already.” 
“She’s still smaller than Jack was when he was born,” Emily says before she can stop herself, her exhaustion and everything else that came with having a newborn stopping her usually effective filter, “When Aaron holds her she’s no bigger than his hand.” 
Hazel starts to fuss, immediately drawing Emily’s attention to her, and she shushes her. She rubs her hand up and down her back and whispers nonsense against her forehead, well aware that Hazel wasn’t even fully awake. 
“Let me take her for a little while, Emily. You look exhausted.” 
Emily shakes her head and looks at her mother-in-law, “That’s okay, she gets fussier when someone else holds her,” she says, resting her cheek against the top of her daughter’s head, “She seems to be all about me at the moment.” 
It was normal, she knew that. All the books said that babies were attached to their moms at first, and that they had no way of determining that they were a separate entity from their mother. There was something about that Emily found both beautiful and devastating, never quite wanting it to end but also recognising it had to. 
She wondered when she stopped feeling like a part of her own mother, or if Elizabeth had ever sat up with her like this in the middle of the night. 
“You can’t always give her what she wants you know,” Theresa says, “In my day we just let babies cry it out.” 
Emily smiles tightly at her, her patience paper thin as she tries to keep herself calm, “And that’s fine, but that’s not what Aaron and I want to do. If she cries it means she wants something,” she says, looking back down at the now re-settled Hazel, “And she’s only two weeks old so I want to make sure she has what she needs.” 
“Well, if you carry on she’s just going to grow up spoiled like you did.” 
There’s a beat of silence whilst Theresa’s words hang in the air around them, but before Emily can say anything, before she can react any further than the way she holds Hazel impossibly closer, she’s cut off by a voice in the doorway. 
“What did you just say to her?” 
Emily and Theresa look at Aaron at the same time. Neither one of them had heard him walk down the stairs or approach the living room. He looks furious, barely able to contain it after not sleeping for more than a couple of hours at a time for the last two weeks. Emily can see the tension in his frame, his hands in fists at his sides as he looks at his mother. 
“Aaron,” Theresa says, recovering first, a smile painted over her face, “Emily and I were just-”
“You don’t get to talk to my wife like that,” he says, cutting his mother off as she stands up to get closer to him. 
“Aaron,” Emily says, smiling tightly at him as he looks at her, “It’s okay.” 
“It’s not okay,” he demands, straining to keep his voice quiet, not wanting to wake Hazel up when he knows how much work it took to get her asleep. He looks back at his mother, who looks more ashamed she was overheard rather than sorry for what she said, “This is our house, and Hazel is our baby. Emily is my wife. If you can’t respect her, you’re not welcome here at all.” 
Theresa laughs humourlessly, “Now, Aaron you’re being-”
“Go to bed Mom,” he says, his glare stern as his eyes meet hers, “We’ll talk about this in the morning when we’ve all had a little more sleep,” he continues to stare at her and she looks like she’s going to argue, her eyebrows furrowing as she opens her mouth, but he stops her, “Go to bed.” 
Theresa nods and walks out of the room, her shoulders slumped as she leaves them alone, the tension she leaves behind still lingering in the air as they hear her receding footsteps on the stairs. 
Emily watches from the couch as Aaron stands frozen in place, his hands on his hips as he stares at the ground. She waits for him to do something, to say something, but he doesn’t, so she clears her throat softly. His head snaps up as he looks at her, almost as if he was remembering she was in the room. 
“You didn’t have to tell her off,” she says, “It really is okay.”
He frowns and shakes his head, walking over and joining her on the couch. “It’s not okay, Em,” he says, wrapping his arm around her shoulders, making sure he’s gentle as he pulls his girls towards him, “It’s never okay when anyone speaks to you like that. Especially when it’s my mother,” he presses a kiss to her temple and closes his eyes, giving himself a moment to calm down as he breathes her in, something that fails as an awful thought occurs to him, “Has she…has she spoken to you like that before?” 
Emily huffs out a breath, “Never quite like that,” she says honestly, never wanting to lie to him, “But there have been…comments in the past.” 
He pulls back to look at her, horror pooling in his gut at the revelation. He has no idea how he’s missed it, how he’s never picked up on anything other than the slight awkwardness he’d noticed in the past. He’d put it down to the fact his mom and Emily were very different people, that he was the only thing they had in common. They weren’t natural friends, not by a long shot, but he’d never had a hint that they didn’t get along.
“What do you mean comments? How long has this been going on?” 
“Since the day I met her.” 
His eyes go so wide she’s sure that in any other circumstance, she’d laugh, “What?” He asks, a little too loudly, and then they both go quiet, their eyes fixed on Hazel as she continues to sleep. He starts again, making sure he’s quieter this time, “Why did you never tell me?” 
She sighs and shrugs, careful not to disturb their daughter, “I didn’t want to get between you,” she says, and she looks down at Hazel, unable to stop the smile that spreads across her face, “And for a long time I kind of thought she was acting like a mom should.” 
Aaron furrows his brows at her, and despite himself, despite the situation, he chuckles, “You thought a mom was supposed to be…mean?” 
She rolls her eyes as she looks back at him, “Overbearing,” she corrects him, and she unhooks one arm from around the baby and squeezes his knee a little too hard, “Give me a break. I don’t exactly have a good example to work with,” she raises her eyebrow at him, “You have met my mother right?” 
He smiles and leans in to kiss her. He rests his forehead against hers as he pulls away, “I am sorry about my mom, sweetheart,” he says, kissing her again, “I’ll deal with her in the morning.” 
“It’s not your fault,” she says, “Just like it’s not my fault whenever my mom manages to mention you used to ‘be the help’ when I was in college,” she smiles when he laughs and she leans into his side. They both look at Hazel, who was content and asleep against her mother’s chest. Safe and loved and happy, and wholly unaware of the complications that came with life, “We’ll do better, won’t we?” 
He nods in response to her soft question, the hope curled around every word warming him from the inside out. He kisses her temple and whispers against her skin.
“We already are.” 
-x-
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apprenticestanheight · 5 months
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Hello Cal! Can you write an Adam x reader? The reader will watch & pay attention to when Adam goes to smoke, only to distract him & make him end up not smoking? Thank you!
Smoke- Adam Stanheight x gn! reader
Hi! This is fairly short and it's probably not my best--I had an interview this morning and between being hungry in a house where there's not a lot to eat and also being sick, this morning has kind of thrown me for a loop.
Fic type- this is very fluffy!
Warnings- smoking is mentioned, and this is unedited.
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When Adam had decided to slowly start the process of quitting smoking, you were very much on board--as much as you loved him, the taste of nicotine and mint on his lips, and the fact that cigarettes were a fairly cheap thing to come by, it was good.
You'd never smoked anything more than weed--the idea of lung cancer was a tad bit too nervewracking to ever start smoking seriously--but Adam had been both a weed smoker and a cigarette smoker since you'd started dating him.
So, that was how you got where you were, standing with Adam in your kitchen and watching a look of thought cross his face as one hand drifted to the pocket of his jeans in search of the pack of cigarettes he'd been working his way through and his lighter.
You'd been debating what to order for dinner but, realistically, both of you knew you'd end up ordering something from the Chinese takeout spot down the road, and the light of the kitchen was dimming while the five o'clock sunset shone through the window above your sink, displaying a view of residential Jersey in all of it's orange-brown-gray brick glory.
Adam had two tells when he was thinking about going for a smoke. First, his hand found itself locating his cigarettes and the lighter he used. Then, he looked at whatever was closest while he debated it.
You caught the first tell and grabbed his hand, leaning in for a kiss but not touching your lips against his own. You pressed your nose against his and grinned a bit.
"Hi," you said, not really knowing where you were going with your split-second plan. Your goal was to get Adam not to smoke because he'd been trying to stop or do it less in the least, but that didn't mean you'd necessarily thought it out beyond that. "Chinese food for dinner? We can order it from Elliots."
"Hi," Adam said, grin finding a place on his lips. "Chinese sounds good. Elliots does good dumplings."
And then you were leaning in a bit more and letting Adam close the gap between the two of you, feeling a sense of victory as you felt the hand that was reaching for the cigarettes and lighter relocate itself to your hip.
You hummed a little into the kiss and Adam laughed, letting go of your hand and moving his hand to cup your face before pulling away to breathe for a second.
As you pulled away, content and considering your efforts at distraction a win, you let yourself lean your forehead against Adams shoulder.
"I love you," you whispered. It said everything and nothing all at once.
"I love you too," Adam responded. "I'll order our food."
You laughed a little, shoulders shaking as you exhaled amusedly, and Adam laughed a bit in turn.
For an altogether decent day at the end of November, the evening only seems as though it's going to be better.
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thousand-winters · 27 days
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Hunter tries holding a sleepover at the Deamonne house since his friends all took a turn hosting, and wants to contribute.
When they play Truth or Dare...
Luz: Hunter, truth or dare?
Hunter: Dare!
Luz: I dare you to sneak up to Darius's room and bring back down his wallet.
Hunter: You've been spending too much time with Eda.
Luz probably isn't even planning to do anything bad with Darius' wallet, she just sort of wants to see if Hunter will actually get it because... alright, she might have been spending too much time with Eda, but she lives with her whenever she's on the Boiling Isles! What else did they all expect from her, really?
The rest of the Hexsquad probably doesn't know exactly what to make of it when Hunter just gets up with the most unamused face ever in his face and just walks straight up into Darius' room, especially if Darius is nearby and Hunter clearly didn't bother with being sneaky.
Even if they were trying to be funny, it's a bit nervewracking too if Darius just goes back to his room to check on what Hunter is doing, clearly not upset, just very casual. Still, it's really something when they hear the little exchange of "what are you looking for?", "your wallet" 😭
Considering it's Hunter, they think he simply might not know why that's something a bit odd to say to your parent, especially with him just not really asking for it before, but Darius just seems curious about why, and when Hunter says it's for a dare? They just about feel their souls leaving their bodies, rip...
Darius simply gives it to him though, and tells them that if they wanted to order takeout or something like that, they should have simply asked, but he supposes kids gotta engage into a bit of mischief sometimes. As long as they're careful and safe about it, he doesn't mind.
Hunter looks far too smug sitting back down with them with his dad's wallet on his hand.
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joohanisms · 1 month
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idk if you wrote about this before or not but thoughts on taking junhans virginity 😭😭😭
i haven't!!!!!!! tysm for the ask so i have an excuse to <33
(half written before i went ia)
mmm first of all i think hed actively look for someone inexperienced to date while hw himself was inexperienced
less space for disappointment yknow how could hw disappoint you when you kinda just .. dont know better literally
but then he ended up w you <3 who actually does have some experience and its kinda nervewracking for him, he's not gonna lie
he's been putting it off for so long – sure, it only took a couple of dates for you to make out and your hands to wander. the way he tentatively gripped your ass made you want him kind of desperately.
but it never went past that. a while later, when the topic of making things official came up, his cheeks blushed a deep red while he looked down at his feet.
"ah, before we, you know, start dating for real... i thought you should know." and fuck, you think. there it goes. there's the catch. "i'm not too... experienced. actually, i've never had sex before. i don't want you to be disappointed if we get to it and i'm not any go–" his mouth is sealed shut as you kiss him firmly, hands cradling his face.
"you're stupid. i don't care. nothing of what you just said would ever make me lose interest," he wants to avoid your eyes, hide his face, but the way you're holding his flaming cheeks in place won't let him. "at most, it just makes me happy i'll be your first."
and since then, he's been avoiding – more like procrastinating, to be fair – getting sexual with you. the most you've done so far was dry humping each other on his sofa while his apartment was empty (that is, until one of his roommates opened the front door and he jumped out of his skin).
you don't want to push him, so you wait for him to come to you.
(but if anyone asked you whether you were fingering yourself in the shower thinking about him, you wouldn't be able to deny it.)
the next time he got to escape from his dorm and visit you and your blessedly empty tiny apartment, he has you on his lap, the movie playing on your laptop long forgotten.
you didn't notice anything before – he was the same hyeongjun as always – but now you can see how his hands are shaking and how he keeps taking deep breaths seemingly out of nowhere.
you detach your lips from his, studying his face. this makes him more nervous, the poor thing. did he do something wrong? is he this easy to read?
"hyeongjun, are you okay? you look like you're going to pass out." you try to leave the comfortable seat that is his thighs, but his hands shoot up and grab your waist, holding you down.
"hyeongjun. you're shaking. have you eaten? let me grab you a cup of wa–"
"i'm fine."
"really? what did you have for lunch? did you have enough? or did you have too much?" you can't help but worry for him. he's already a skinny guy, but you can't be too careful knowing how much time he spends online.
"i swear i'm fine! i'm just..." he trails off, looking at everything in your room but you. one of his hands leaves your waist to fiddle with a loose thread on your comforter. once again, you wait for him to come to you – he likes that about you, how you leave him to find ways to express himself instead of dragging it out of him. his tone is soft when he eventually finishes, "i'm just nervous, that's all."
you cup his cheek in an act of comfort, looking at him like he's some kind of baby bunny, small and defenseless. he finds he doesn't mind it too much.
"nervous about what, baby? what's on your mind?"
"i was thinking," he finally lets go of your waist to play with his fingers, "maybe it's about time we, uh, you know, fuck."
jesus christ. your tummy does a backflip at his wording.
"you know i don't mind if we don't, right? i'm fine with how things are now." you slide your hand down his neck and shoulder, and some braincell vaguely makes him think that you're not doing anything to help him go against having sex.
"but i want to," his response is eager and he backtracks, "if you want it too, i mean."
your mind is so clouded with the thought of not only having him, but also to have you be his first, that you don't even respond before you're pressing your lips to his again.
" of course i do."
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bumblingbabooshka · 5 months
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You want Tuvok asks?? Okay, I'll send some from time to time now lol
Can I have some uhhh Tuvok & Kes mentoring relationship analysis and maybe hcs?
Personally, I think... we all know Kes sees parts of her father in Tuvok etc right but hc that Tuvok also sees parts of Asil in Kes? Anyway, your turn. Don't worry about writing "too much", no such thing when it comes to you!!
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YEAAAH TUVOK ASK!!! I hide it well so few people know this but I actually like Tuvok quite a bit so this ask was very much welcome, thank you!! <3
KES!!!! Tuvok's one true daughter (other than Asil, his actual one true daughter) in my mind!!!! I wish more of the show actually showed their mentorship. Like him and Kes on an away mission or there being a 'student becomes the teacher' moment as her powers grow. I imagine a scene where Kes teaches a patient who's in pain a breathing technique to calm him down as she bandages him up and revealing that Tuvok taught her that technique! I also like the thought of aliens mistaking them for being the same species due to their pointed ears and telepathic abilities. The Kes-Tuvok dynamic also provides more opportunities to learn about their families and upbringings and values since they both seem like fairly introspective people. I can imagine Kes earnestly wanting to learn about and engage with Vulcan culture. That's a similarity between her and Neelix, a fascination with others, but Kes is calmer and Tuvok would be more open to talking with her about it because he knows she's not gonna make a big fuss, hehehe~ I would put a scene in the Elogium episode where she talked to Tuvok about it and he mentioned (obliquely) the pon farr and tried to comfort her. (She promises to keep this a secret - it's not to be spoken about!) There'd also be some little tidbits about his kids...hate that the only thing we really know about them is that there are four, Sek studies music and they were "well behaved" as children. And that last bit might be an exaggeration on Tuvok's part. I wish Kes was just in general more part of the crew. She's really only ever seen in sickbay even though she was introduced as very adventurous and curious and wanting to "peer into every crack in the universe". I can imagine a scene where Kes is doing something dangerous and Tuvok's watching her and Janeway's like "haha it's nervewracking, sitting back and doing nothing isn't it?" and Tuvok's like "I have no nerves to 'wrack', captain but this experience is....familiar." <- Sometimes you have to watch your kids fuck around so they can find out Episode where Kes & Tuvok are able to telepathically communicate despite being in completely different areas of the ship and so are able to coordinate and fight back against some invading aliens. I'd add a continuing subplot between Harry & Kes where they are like the unofficial/official proteges of Janeway and Tuvok respectively and playfully tease each other or argue about it. Secretly competitive A+ students though they're motivated by different things. Kes by her curiosity and Harry by a desire to prove himself.
I can imagine them having a moment where they talk about the weirdness of aging differently from everyone else. <- Episode where Kes is frustrated with everyone treating her like a kid. Tuvok doesn't experience this of course but I do wonder about a Vulcan's view on aging while surrounded by people who are both significantly younger than you but also your peers? This conversation veers quickly into death and loss. Kes who will die naturally long before anyone else and Tuvok who will die naturally long after everyone else. Scene where Kes tries to get the doctor to meditate (comedy) Scene where Kes learns how to telepathically shift the air so that she can hover above the ground. (comedy, it's not very useful except if they need to scout something she can slowly 'fly' high enough to see it but it takes SO much energy.) I can imagine Tuvok seeing a lot of his own children in Kes. I imagine having to teach your children how to use their telepathic powers is a near lifelong process for a Vulcan which he relives in his formal mentorship with Kes. Kes tells Janeway that Tuvok is "devoted to" T'Pel which makes me imagine him talking to Kes about her...showing how close they are, that he trusts her with that information and feels comfortable talking about his family to her...or that Kes is observant enough to pick up on the devotion he feels even though he doesn't divulge much. Waaa. Headcanon that Tuvok keeps a candle burning for Kes even several years after her departure and thinks about her often, the same way he thinks of his family. Headcanon that very occasionally Tuvok will be able to 'feel' Kes' presence. (Usually when he's alone) He attempts at times to communicate with her if she is 'around' long enough but whatever he gets in return he is not able to parse. He wonders if he ever will be. He's grateful that she tries regardless. One time he feels it when with Neelix is able to perform a sort of double telepathic telephone where Neelix can receive the message as well: He is similarly unable to parse it but he cries tears of joy anyway. Tuvok doesn't understand why but Neelix says it's ok so fine. Tuvok is the only person besides the doctor who Kes can talk about her weird medical dead people surgery stuff with!! (He isn't particularly eager but he's not gonna turn her away). There's awkwardness between them after the Tuvix situation (Because Tuvix was attracted to her) but they clear it up (Tuvok is not attracted to her) and everything's fine again. Kes teaches Tuvok how to sew. Tuvok later uses this to mend Naomi's flotter doll and also create a parachute during some sort of death defying stunt he has to pull along with the rest of the crew. Kes has medical papers published in Voyager's database which are widely circulated upon reaching the alpha quadrant and are used frequently by Tom when he has to do a medical thing because Kes created 'Tom Notes' which are just simplifying a bunch of the medical jargon in many of Voyager's papers. She called them 'Tom Notes' bc he's the only nurse and definitely not to poke fun <3 <- She's mischievous as she is helpful! Tuvok has seen her snacking on bugs multiple times as they tend to the plants in the airponics bay and he does think it's weird but he doesn't comment on it so she thinks he hasn't seen v_v
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itsgrimeytime · 8 months
Text
Home is Where the Heart is (Part Two) || Farmer!Rick Grimes (TWD) x Teacher!GN!reader AU
Part 1...
rick grimes taglist: @golden-hoax
AVAILABLE ON AO3
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Inspiration: Like Real People Do by Hozier.
Summary: Your life was spinning out of control, you knew that. After a string of particularly shattering events, you decided it was time to start anew. With a little help from one of your Grandma's rentals, you found yourself in the small town of Alexandria. The last thing you expected was your neighbor, Rick Grimes.
TWS: starting over, swearing, and identity crisis.
[[A/N: pretty is used gender neutrally here, so if you don't like that I'm sorry!!!Thanks for reading !!! For that anon, ly <3, enjoy :))) ]]
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You were staring at your computer screen, the empty word document not quite intimidating you but it was definitely... something. The flickering little line that showed where you were typing was starting to get annoying though.
It was a lesson plan, one of the first ones actually, but one you had put off until further notice. Just something about the circulum hadn't sat right with you that day so you pushed it off. And then you pushed it off again, and again, and again-
Needless to say, you were now about two weeks away from your first-ever semester. Solo semester. You'd been a teacher's aide before, but never... never on your own. Just 'a lack of positions where you lived, and you weren't willing to relocate' problem, really. It was exciting and nervewracking and a lot-
Your life couldn't have been upturned at a worse time, honestly. Especially with so little experience on your own, but you told yourself you'd own it. You'd-
Just as you were getting into the groove of your writing process, your laptop flickered off. And then, you noticed the lights were off too. Your power was out.
"Fuck," you groaned out, half tempted to through your head down onto the table.
It wasn't a surprise, really. You knew that the internet wasn't exactly the best out here, and you'd bet that the electricity would be a little spotty too. But just because it made sense, didn't make it any less shitty.
You roamed outside, hoping to possibly get some cell service -to call the electricity company, or maybe your Grandma? Actually, now that you thought of it, you weren't sure that you knew who did the electricity of the house-
"Funny seein' you 'ere," the deep drawl lured you out of your thoughts -southern beyond belief.
You shifted, shading your eyes from the sun but just enough in his direction to see him. He stood tall, the morning looked good on him, his curls freshly washed and shirt unstained. The breeze of the morning tussled him slightly, and despite the warmth, he didn't look bothered by it. Out on the front porch in a set of pajama pants and coffee held gently in his hands -it looked warm, was Rick Grimes.
"Hey," you responded, dumbfounded -your brain had all but flatlined at the man... again.
He looked at you questioning, the slightest raise of an eyebrow -a sort of small smile brushing across the brim of his mug (almost teasing), "You're up early."
"Too early," you groaned, taking a seat on your porch in a delicately colored rocking chair -your Grandma's doing if you had to guess, "-working on some lesson plans I should've done months ago."
"Lesson plans? You the new teacher?"
You laughed, slightly, nervous, "Word spreads fast around here, then?"
"Always," he grinned, "-you'd be lucky to do anythin' out here without commentary."
You smiled, looking out into your yard -the billowing grass and trees were unfamiliar but peaceful. It was nice to just exist for a moment with someone else, even if you hardly knew them, it was nice. Freeing, even.
"What's the lead theory as to why I'm here?"
"Not sure," Rick paused, tilting his head towards you, attentive, "-why you got a good reason?"
"A super mysterious one," you answered back -playfully, "-what do you think I should go with? Spy overseas, or undercover royalty under witness protection?"
He chuckled, lightly, and something in your chest fluttered -the deep timber swimming into your head. He has a nice laugh, you noted somewhere far away in your head. It was just a thought, you'd let your brain get away with it this once.
"You lookin' for better stories or more intrigue?"
"Intrigue," you answered -doing a dramatic gesture with your hands, almost theatrical, "-no one should truly know me."
"Royalty," he responded -unflinchingly, "-ya look the part too."
You gasped, faux-offended, "What's that supposed to mean?"
"You're pretty," he answered, fluidly -as if the words out of his mouth were nothing but the truth, "-too pretty to be 'ere. Makes more sense."
"Oh," your mouth clicked shut -blush rising on your cheeks (chanting in your head, probably married, probably married, proba-), "-thank you. Good to know what I could get away with."
"Just the truth," he responded, one hand brushing over his beard as his coffee was set down on the top of the fence -a bit precariously.
You laughed, tilting your head back and rocking further from the motion -the buzz in your stomach was a teeny-tiny little thing. It wasn't anything to worry about, you knew better. You knew better than to walk right back into it again, believe and ignore and love-
It wasn't the time.
"Still," you added -smiley and with an accent you couldn't quite name, "-you'll back me up on my backstory? Death threats from my home kingdom ran away for safety."
He grinned -something big and bright, and it made you falter for a moment, "Sure, I'll tell 'em myself if I 'ave to."
You stilled, ever so slightly -eyes heavily focused on the world in front of you, intent like once you looked away it would disappear. Or maybe you would, back in that apartment, back with...
"Everythin' okay?" Rick interrupted, blue eyes intently on you -he must've noticed.
"What? Yeah-" you cleared your throat, blinking away some of the fog in your eyes -hoping he didn't see, "-Sorry, just got lost in my thoughts. I... I really need to get back to my lesson plans actually."
"Well-"
You interrupted, standing to your feet, "How long does a power outage usual last out here?"
He merely furrowed his eyebrows at you, somewhat understanding that something was bothering you but he didn't push, "Just a few minutes at most, maybe an hour if the weather's bad."
"Okay, good," you sighed in relief, before straightening and turning back to him -schooling your face into something more normal, neutral, "-It was nice talking to you, Rick. I'll... I'll see you around, yeah?"
"Yeah," he nodded, a sort of low grumble that seemed almost slurred in the morning, timber that shook your bones, "-and Y/N?"
"Yes?"
"If you ever... need anythin'," he started -carefully, blue eyes flickering over you with a concern you hadn't felt in a bit, "-I'm just a door down. Anythin'."
"Okay," you responded, quietly, genuinely, "-I'll be sure to take you up on that, Grimes."
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Hello Can you do a Poly one with Nikolai & Zoya fic it can be fluff with prompt 6 ? Where the reader has a crush on them
Recipe Box- poly! zoyalai x gn! reader
okay, hi! First ever poly fic of any kind. I've debated writing poly fics before but I've never actually done it so this was next level nervewracking for me and I hope it's decent.
I'm sorry it took me so long to see the requests you've sent in, things get buried in my inbox really quick and this request was no exception for a bit, but dear nonnie, I hope you like this in spite of how long it took me to get this out!
The prompt you requested was fluff prompt six: “Character A wanted me to give this to you,�� Character B said.
Fic type- fluff with so much yearning
Warnings- none
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You found yourself laughing at Tamar and Tolyas bickering as the three of you moved through the hallways of the Grand Palace, a discussion picking up and dropping in brief moments as the end of the day drew nearer. 
The time after the war was tough, the adjustments necessary difficult ones to make and the grief for those you’d lost immense and painful. Nikolai plunged into his kingly duties after he was crowned, Zoya took up the creation and the maintenance of her garden, you took to baking and the twins to sparing to sharpen their already sharp skills. 
Tolya and Tamar became members of Nikolais guard, working for him as they’d once worked for Alina and her sun cult. You almost took up a position alongside them, one offered to you by Nikolai after the war, but you refused. Despite it, finding the twins was always easy, striking a conversation with them easier even still.
You’d taken up working in the kitchens, making the menus for the week and putting effort into baking during your off time so that Genya and Zoya could always have the sweet pastries they liked at the drop of a hat and, selfishly, because baking had always been therapeutic for you.
Baking brought you plenty more joy than being on the sea did, but in the days of the war, being on a ship crew meant easy money, and easy money was good enough for you back then, while you worked on the Volkvolny with Nikolai as the captain.
You met Zoya in those times, too, so you wouldn’t’ve counted the war as an entirely dreadful time. You’d fallen for Nikolai when you worked on the ship alongside him, fallen for Zoya as you fought at her side against the Darkling. You had crushes on them for two years, and at that rate, it never seemed like the feelings you held would quite escape you. 
So, as you approached the war room with Tamar and Tolya, you were relaxed. It'd been your day off but you'd baked throughout it even still, and you'd dropped a basket of sweet pastries at Genya and Davids door in the hour before you found yourself where you were, with Tamar and Tolya at your sides as you walked them to the war room before you would either head to your room or to the palace library, where you grab a book and spend the next few nights reading.
Nikolai caught sight of you and grinned as you entered the room.
Tamar elbowed you lightly, shooting you a grin as your gaze met one of the people you’d been in love with for what sometimes felt like a thousand days. 
“Every time,” she whispered. “Him and Zoya. Every bloody time, and still—fools. The lot of you.” 
“Hey,” Nikolai greeted Tolya as you made a point of ignoring Tamars words simply for the fact that you didn’t believe them. “Alls well on the grounds?” 
“No threats waiting to jump out and kill you,” Tamar said pointedly. “Grounds sweep was successful.” 
Nikolai looked at you again, and seemed to remember something. You watched him pause for a moment before turning, picking up a small box and walking it over to you.
“Zoya wanted me to give this to you,” Nikolai said. “You bake in the kitchens a lot. Said it was recipe boxes with stuff you’d talked about.” 
You grinned as you took the box, grin widening as you met his gaze. “Thank you,” you said, turning on your heel. “For delivering it, I suppose. I need to find her, give her my thanks.” 
Nikolai nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “Tamar, Tolya and I have much to discuss. I don’t know if I’ll see you again tonight, so goodnight, Y/N.” 
You grinned. “Goodnight, Nikolai,” 
And with that, you left, heart thrumming as you walked down the halls of the Grand Palace, a huge part of you hoping to see Zoya before you retired to your room for the night. 
You ended up not seeing her, but you made a mental note to thank her for the very sweet gift when you would see her the following day, at the end of your shift in the kitchens and likely as she sat by a samovar of tea, either chatting with Genya and David or finding something to bicker about with Tolya or Nikolai. 
It was something to which you looked forward immensely. 
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