#is SO fucking funny I laughed for 10 minutes
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Fall Into Me - Chapter Eight: We'll Dance in the Street like Nobody's Watching
dbf!Joel x f!reader
Summary: Joel is hanging on by a thread as a single father to a tenacious 10-year-old Sarah. Feeling like he's drowning, like the world is about to spit him out, he needs some help before he breaks in half. At your dad's insistence, you show up in his life and change everything.
Story is inspired by the song Fall Into Me by Forest Blakk. Chapter titles will be lyrics from the song.
Word Count: 3.8k
Chapter Warnings: Explicit, under 18 take a hike. No outbreak AU. Lots of feelings, unprotected p in v, flirting, dads being dads. Two idiots falling in love and finally fucking admitting it. Joel is his own warning. Age gap of about 9 years (Reader 24/25, Joel 33/34). No use of y/n. Reader has a nickname used only by her dad and Joel uses various terms of endearment (darlin', sweetheart, etc.).
This chapter includes the scene that sparked the entire story idea. I've been patiently waiting for it to see the light of day. hope you enjoy!
Thank you so much to everyone who reads this self-indulgent story and extra thanks to those who comment and/or reblog - you all make me feel like a rock star!
Dividers by the wonderful @saradika-graphics
Chapter Seven | Main Masterlist
“So, how was it?” Grilling you for the past twenty minutes, Emily was relentless in her pursuit to find out just how good Joel was in bed, after congratulating you on the new job, of course. “Come on! I need to know!”
“Alright, alright! I had no idea you were such a needy bitch. Is your hubby not dicking you down enough or what?” you laughed before regaling her with tales of Joel’s prowess.
“I fuckin’ knew he’d be big and know how to use it! He just gives off that BDE, ya know what I mean? Just how big are we talkin’, anyway?”
Rolling your eyes, you laughed again. “Well, I didn’t fucking measure it, but it’s a definite handful. Besides, you’ve never even met him, Em! How could you possibly get that vibe?”
“I’ve seen photos and heard stories, that’s more than enough to pick up on that sorta thing,” Emily replied with the confidence of someone who damn well knows what she’s talking about. “I need to know more. Gimme all the details!”
“Yeah, yeah. Speaking of BDE, I gotta finish getting ready. Joel said he had something special planned for tonight to celebrate me getting the teaching job.”
“I bet he does. You’re gonna get another deep dicking from that huge—”
“Bye Em!” you cut her off and hit end call before she could carry on anymore.
Tossing the phone on your bed, you finished putting a light layer of makeup on, putting in a little more effort to look good tonight. Ten minutes later, dressed in a pair of dark, fitted jeans and a dark blue, long-sleeve, vee neck shirt that showed just a touch of cleavage, you wandered out to the living room.
“Alright Dad, I’m off. I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” Leaning over the back of his recliner, you press a kiss to his balding head.
“Have fun on your date and be careful, Spud. Call me if you need a ride home or anything,” he replied, patting your hand. You turned to leave, grabbing a light jacket from the hook by the door just in case, when your dad’s voice carried from the living room. “It’s funny, Joel told me he has a date tonight, too.”
Freezing for a moment, you squeak, “Oh, yeah?”
“Uh huh. Quite a coincidence me thinks.” He paused again, but you were at a loss for words and grateful that he couldn’t see your expression. “Enjoy your night, kiddo.”
Knowing a dismissal when you heard one, you take off through the door. Your mind raced on the short drive to Joel’s. He knows. Your dad so knows. You start to panic for a moment wondering if he’s upset before the realization hits that he didn’t seem remotely mad about it. More like he got a kick out of the idea and enjoyed teasing you. You and Joel had to fess up very soon, but that was a tomorrow problem. Tonight was meant to be all about you and Joel.
Walking through the front door, you expected to find Joel in the living room or kitchen, but the downstairs was empty. Lugging your overnight bag up the stairs, you thought maybe he’d be in his room or the bathroom still getting ready, but again, no sign of him. Where the hell was he?
Making your way down the stairs, you peeked out the window to make sure you didn’t imagine his truck in the driveway when you parked – it was there, right next to your car. He had to be around here somewhere. The sound of soft music hit your ears suddenly. Following the sound, you slipped out the back door and gasped.
A soft glow spread across the yard from lights strung from tree to tree, a plaid tablecloth covered the patio table on which sat a vase of brightly colored tulips, an open bottle of pinot noir, two stemless wine glasses, and two covered plates. Just beyond the patio, a hammock hung between two large live oaks with another set of string lights dangling above it. As your eyes took it all in, Joel stood off to the side watching you with a warm smile.
“Joel,” you whispered, afraid to disturb the dream-like quality of the moment, his name a drawn-out breath in the air when you finally turned to him. His dark eyes glinted from the string lights as he stepped forward out of the shadows, one hand stretched out towards you. There was no hesitation in reaching for him and you clung to each other for a few minutes before he stepped back to pull out a chair for you.
“Thank you,” you whispered, settling into the seat. When Joel took his place across the table from you, you added, “This is so lovely, Joel.”
A bashful smile graced his lips as he removed the covers from the plates and filled the wine glasses. Your gaze soaked in every little movement he made, in awe of the gorgeous man before you and all he’d done to make this evening special. Holding his glass up, he toasted to you. “Here’s to your new job and the start of a very rewarding career. Congrats darlin’.”
Clinking your glass against his lightly, you beamed at him. He looked so handsome, thick curls pushed back away from his face, tanned skin glowing in the soft lighting. “Thank you, Joel.” Already buzzing from the way he made you feel, you sipped lightly at the wine before digging into the meal before you.
Bursts of flavor hit your palette at the first bite, the chicken cooked to perfection and the sun-dried tomatoes adding just the right tang to the red pesto coating the rigatoni. A soft moan escaped before you caught it, cheeks heating up with the way Joel looked at you with hooded eyes.
“I reckon you like it?” he asked, a teasing lilt to his gravelly voice.
“This may be the most delicious thing I’ve ever tasted, Joel. Did you make this?” You took another bite, savoring the flavors that exploded in your mouth.
“Mmhmm. It’s my mama’s recipe, she made it a lot when we were younger, and it’s always been my favorite. I’m glad you like it.” He watched you enjoy another forkful, obviously proud.
“I don’t just like it, Joel. This is fuckin’ delicious. I didn’t know you could cook like this!”
His cheeks turned pink as he cleared his throat. “I can’t, usually. I practiced a lot with this one.” That melted your heart further.
You ate your fill, making small conversation between bites, until your wine glass was empty, and your belly satisfied. Joel poured you another glass, which you sipped leisurely as he cleared the table and placed the dirty dishes in the dishwasher for later. He wouldn’t let you lift a finger.
“Dance with me?” he said upon his return outside, voice deep and gravelly as he plucked the glass from your hand and placed it on the table.
“I’d love to,” you replied softly, lips tilted upwards in a sweet smile. Holding his left hand out, Joel helped you to your feet and let you off the patio.
A new song began, volume a little louder now, and you stepped closer to him. A warm buzz spread through your veins when Joel pulled you against his broad chest, one arm wrapping around your waist and the other bent to hold your hand over his heart. You could feel the thump of his heartbeat beneath the green flannel he wore as he swayed you slowly around the grassy yard, careful to not stray too close to the pool.
Nothing ever felt as right as being there in Joel’s arms, dancing in the yard like the world beyond the fence didn’t exist. Your feelings for this man were overwhelming, growing deeper each and every day – hell, each and every second was more like it – and that four-letter word bubbled in your throat. You swallowed it down, settling your head against Joel’s shoulder, eyes closed and focused on the moment.
Joel’s chin tilted downward, nudging against the side of your face, his lips near your ear, and his breath sent delightful chills down your spine when he began to sing softly.
“Fall into me and I’ll catch you, darlin’. We’ll dance in the street like nobody’s watching. It’s just you and me and the song on repeat in my head, playing over and over…”
My god, how could you not fall in love with this incredible man?
The intimacy of it all brought tears to your eyes as your fingers threaded through the hair at the back of his head. Stomach alight with the flutter of too many butterflies, the urge to speak from your heart became too much, you could hold back no longer.
“I love you, Joel.”
You loved him.
What did he ever do to deserve something like that?
Heart clenching deep in his chest, Joel guided you to the hammock, music still carrying softly through the air. With amazing finesse, he settled you both on the hanging fabric, bodies snuggled together until you nearly became one.
He ached to say the words back to you, but they kept getting stuck in his throat. Instead, he settled for showing you how he felt, just like he did with dancing and singing in your ear – he could have written that song for how relatable it was to the feelings you brought out in him. Dark eyes stared into yours as his hands moved over your body, pulling you impossibly closer.
I love you, his lips said as they pressed heatedly against yours.
I love you, his tongue said as it licked softly into your mouth to tangle delicously with yours.
I love you, his hands said as they touched you with utter reverence.
I love you, his body said as he pressed it tightly against yours, trying in vain to crawl beneath your skin.
Joel kissed you with singular focus until you were both breathless and overwrought with need.
“Take me to bed, Joel,” you whispered when he finally tore his lips from yours. “I need to feel every bit of you.”
Your angelic voice music to his ears, he scrambled from the hammock, scooping you up in his muscled arms to carry you inside and up to his bedroom. His mind occupied by one thing and one thing only – making love to you until you knew every part of him and he knew every part of you – the string lights and last bit of wine were left forgotten in the yard.
Loving the way you clung to him, Joel swept through the house and up the stairs with an urgency he’d not felt before.
His lips moved to brush down your neck, nipping at the tender skin as he went. Once in his room, he closed the door even though you were the only two there. Joel kissed each new patch of skin bared as he removed your clothes until you were completely naked. Easing you back onto his unmade bed, a low growl rumbled from deep in his chest when your fingers slid along his scalp and tugged on his hair. Fucking lord did he love how you touched him.
“Fuck, I need to taste you, pretty girl.”
He’d never seen anyone or anything more beautiful in his life as your naked body writhed on his bed, eager and yearning for his touch, and Joel knelt to worship at the altar of you.
Starting at your delicate feet, Joel’s fingertips traced every inch of you until he reached the apex of your thighs. Leaning forward, he let the scruff of his facial hair tickle along the flesh of your inner thighs, pressing open-mouth kisses along the soft skin as he went. Grinning as you trembled, he met your wide gaze as he leant forward, tongue exploring your folds.
The first taste of you set his soul on fire. Sweet like honey yet more addicting and thrice as satisfying, Joel licked at your clit, tongue occasionally dipping down into you, slurping greedily at the very essence of you.
He couldn’t have thought of a more delicious dessert.
His movements elicited sensuous moans that shot straight to his cock, his jeans quickly becoming too tight and uncomfortable. Seeking a little relief, his hips began grinding against the mattress as he brought you closer and closer to the edge, fingers soon assisting his tongue in driving you mad. Just when he thought he might blow his load in his jeans, again, you came, crying his name out, the syllables drawing out in a beautiful, lyrical drawl. Working you through it, Joel drank down every bit of your release like a thirsty man in the desert.
“Fuck, darlin’. You taste fuckin’ delicious. I could live here, between your legs, for the rest of my life, surviving on just you.” Joel stood as he spoke, gazing down at your blissed out form on his bed as he tore off his clothes, one large hand palming his cock before he practically dove into bed with you.
“You’re too good at that, Joel Miller,” you said, the words falling lazily from your lips as you recovered from the singularly intense orgasm. Swooping down, Joel kissed you passionately, offering you a taste of yourself lingering on his tongue.
Letting his body continue to do the communicating for him, Joel shifted his hips, grinding gently against you while his mouth devoured yours. Groaning as your nails scratched down his back, he reached a hand down to guide his cock toward its home in your pussy. Dark eyes opened wide, Joel watched your face as he entered you, delighting in the scrunch of your nose and the way your eyes squeezed shut before popping open again at the sensation of him splitting you open.
With long, slow, oh so deep, strokes, Joel made love to you, telegraphing the depth of his feelings in the only way he knew how, until you were writhing in pleasure beneath him. Afterwards, he cleaned the mess between your thighs and held you close until you fell asleep with your head resting on his chest. Only then, did he finally whisper the words he longed to say all night. “I love you, too.”
Joel stayed awake for a while, listening to your gentle snores and the soft sighs you made in your sleep. He loved that you let your guard down with him, that he was the man who got to hold you while you slept. In the darkness of night, Joel made himself a promise that he would not fuck this up before falling into a deep sleep of his own.
His dreams were particularly vivid, the sensation of your mouth around his cock so strong he’d swear it was real. He’d never experienced your mouth around him like that before, though, so it couldn’t be real. Joel let his dream-self enjoy every moment, your lips around his shaft and tongue teasing the throbbing vein along the underside of his cock a divinity he’d never known before. At one point you took him so deep that a loud, guttural moan escaped his lips, hands clenching in your hair.
Eyes popping open, the moan carried on, rumbling from deep within Joel’s chest as he glanced down to find you feasting on his hardened length. It wasn’t a dream after all.
“Fuuuccckkk,” his voice, still rough with sleep, drew out the word as he watched you go down on him. Your mouth a form of heaven he suffered too long without, the cheeky, mischievous look in your eye making the pleasure more intense. You clearly enjoyed the act nearly as much as he did.
It didn’t take long before your wanton rhythm and sinful mouth had him coming down your throat, your name a prayer recited over and over in that gravelly voice. “Jesus fucking Christ, darlin’. Where’d you learn to suck cock like that, hmm? Your mouth is like God damn heaven.”
Joel’s chest heaved as you gulped down every drop of his spend, tongue darting out to lick the last bit from the little slit on his cockhead before sliding over your lips. You visibly swallowed, savoring the taste of him; his eyes glued to your mouth the whole time. His hand came up, caressing your face with the love he couldn’t yet voice shining brightly in his eyes, and his thumb traced along your plump bottom lip.
“My little gummy worm,” he murmured, delirious from coming so hard. “Felt so good wrapped around my fat cock.”
Crawling up his body, you settled your weight atop him and pressed your lips to his, letting him taste a hint of himself on your tongue as licked into his mouth, returning the favor from the night before. The kiss was languid and sloppy, perfect for a lazy morning waking up together.
“You tasted good, all salty and musky,” you said once you broke away, voice raspy from having his dick halfway down your throat.
“You can wake me up like that any time you’d like, darlin’.”
The two of you cuddled for a while, neither of you too eager to start the day knowing you didn’t have anything pressing to do. Those unspoken words bubbled in Joel’s chest the whole time, begging to come to the surface, to be spoken aloud and given credence. Still, he hesitated without quite knowing why. Finally rolling out of bed around 10, you jumped into the shower while Joel threw on some clothes and ran out to grab some breakfast.
He just pulled back into his driveway, a bag with a few bagel breakfast sandwiches in one hand – he got an extra in case you wanted pork roll instead of bacon – a coffee and orange juice clutched in the other, when JB’s truck pulled up in front of his house.
Settled on the couch after your refreshing shower, legs tucked under you while scrolling through your phone, you heard Joel’s truck pull up. Waiting for him to come in with breakfast for you both, you were caught off guard by the deep voices rumbling in the front yard. You sat up, peeking through the blinds to find your dad out front, hands on his hips as he spoke to Joel.
Oh shit.
You couldn’t discern their facial expressions from that angle and moved to the front door, quietly easing the heavy wood open to peek out and eavesdrop. They had to be talking about you, right? There was no hiding or pretending you weren’t here, especially with your car parked in the driveway right next to Joel’s. After your dad’s comments last night, you wondered if he planned this ambush then.
“I knew she’d be here,” you heard your dad say, but you couldn’t read his body language clearly. His hands were on his hips still, but there was a smile on his face. “You sweet on my baby girl, Joel?”
You couldn’t hear Joel’s response, his gravelly voice pitched too low for your ears to catch across the distance, but you could see him smile hesitantly even as his broad shoulders hunched slightly. Whatever it was caused your dad to chuckle and punch Joel playfully.
“I knew it!” your dad exclaimed, the sudden loudness startling you. “I knew you two would hit it off, I just wasn’t sure how long it’d take.”
You caught Joel’s response this time, his surprised voice pitching upwards. “You’re not upset?”
Walking toward the house without invitation, your dad paused. “Why the hell would I be upset? You’re a good man, Joel, and I know you’ll treat her well. And she’ll be good for you, too, I have no doubt. Now, you got enough in that there bag for breakfast for three?”
Your shoulders sagged with relief as you eased the door open. “I thought I heard voices! Hi Dad,” you greeted. “What are you doing here?”
“Hey Spud. I could ask you the same thing, but I knew I’d find you here.” Pulling you in for a hug, he ushered you inside. “I got tired of waiting for you two to come clean and thought I’d put you both on the spot.”
Eyebrows shooting up, you glanced at Joel before meeting your dad’s gaze again. “How did you know?”
Giving you a shrug, he said, “You two weren’t exactly subtle and a father always knows.” Nudging your shoulder, JB turned to Joel. “You’ll find that out soon enough, my friend. I can’t wait for the trouble that Sarah will give you.”
The three of you sat at the small dining table, digging into the breakfast sandwiches, your dad insisting you tell him how long you and Joel had been seeing each other and how it all started. Relieved to finally have the truth out there, you told him the story and JB chuckled.
“That about tracks. That’s right around when I started to notice something different between the two of you. And it sure explains why you hardly gave Annica the time of day on your date.” JB gave Joel grief about that failed date for weeks knowing that there was something – or someone – else drawing the man’s attention. JB had the feeling back then that it was you, his baby girl, his grown-up Spud, who captured the single father’s attention.
“You sure you’re okay with this, Dad? I mean…” your words fell off, not really knowing what to say. You’d be heartbroken if your dad wasn’t okay with a relationship between you and Joel, especially now that you verbally admitted to being in love with him.
“Are you kidding? I’m happy as a pig in shit that the two people I care about most like each other.” Your dad was all smiles, beady eyes sparkling with mischief. “In fact, I was planning on setting the two of you up if you didn’t figure things out for yourselves first. Tommy was in on the plan, too, and was the one who suggested we give it a little time. Little shit never told me it became official, though.”
Sitting back in your seat, you giggled with relief. All that time spent fretting over what your dad might think, feeling guilty for dating his best friend and hiding it from him for so long. It was all for naught. You should have known he’d love the idea of you two together.
“So, when’s the wedding?” JB asked, a shit-eating grin spread across his lips as you and Joel froze, eyes darting to each other in wide-eyed panic. Your dad practically guffawed at his own humor while you two were practically having a panic attack. “I’m just kidding – there’s no rush. Just make sure you treat her right, Joel.”
Recovering from the initial panic – not that he didn’t want to marry you, eventually, just not quite this soon – Joel laughed a little nervously. “Of course, JB. I’ll always treat her right. I, uh… I love her.” His gaze shifted to you, heart showing firmly in those dark chocolate orbs. “I love you, darlin'.”
tbc
Taglist: @mellymbee @untamedheart81 @anoverwhelmingdin @runningmom94 @leilanixx
@pedropascalfan221 @lovelyjess69 @sarahhxx03 @sofiparallel @tammythr
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@marirxse @lizzie-cakes @tynakub
#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel x female reader#the last of us#tlou#dbf!joel#Fall Into Me#pedro pascal#eventual smut#mutual pining#idiots in love
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i'm loving the little garden arc rn bc I think zoro's behavior is a peak example of how luffy changes him as a person. when he and the others were getting turned into statues he was completely serious and was about to cut off his own legs so he could try to go out fighting. dire situation that he was treating with a dramatic sense of urgency. and then he sees luffy for 0.2 seconds and immediately starts doing bits. he's bleeding out and turning to wax and he's ribbing nami about striking a cool pose. the instant luffy is within shouting distance zoro reverts to a silly little guy. which is really just what luffy brings out in him all the time. zoro is fundamentally a goofball but he only drops his serious façade when he knows luffy has his back
#anyways me? crazy about them?#nooooo#i'm totally normal#some GREAT lines by every character in this arc too#the side arcs unironically always have the best dialogue deliveries#the way zoro says 'if you wanna die in a cool pose nami you better hurry up' in the english dub#is SO fucking funny I laughed for 10 minutes#one piece#zoro#monkey d luffy#ronoroa zoro#zolu
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well aware that given the lead-up with the sandwich bit the 'you're not a fucking mermaid' was played for laughs, but also - 'you're not a fucking mermaid' -> 'i was wrong again, you're not here to save me'
#i'm FINE#could not be more fine#we got hot middle aged men making out so i'm willing to overlook the fact that the fucking show delivered me the two things i was#most terrified of seeing in the first 10 minutes but i just feel like a lot of things were played for laughs that weren't inherently funny#and that upon rewatching - when i can get myself to do anything but stare at the kissy gifs for more than two seconds - they will in fact#destroy me#ofmd#ofmd s2 spoilers
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i may be paranoid but
#this was funnier in my head#just being silly (joking about thing that isnt funny to me but is funny it i joke about it)#i cant go one second without referencing my interests#im actually going feral#/ref kinda#i may unintentionally reference my interests that i am extremely obsessed with in conversations and be paranoid but atleast i#paranoia#tw paranoia mention#question mark?#cs i really just kinda mentioned it#but its like#idk honestly what am i yapping about#i typed all of this for some silly joke i camr up with 10 hours ago#like the second i wokr up#because im like paranoid all of the tome#and i like that song#which by the way is called paranoid android#so like#i thought it would be a funny joke#and im overreacting to it#i typed our this long ass rant for nothing literally what#<- i am actually laughing at myself from 2 minutes ago why did i type all of that#i am NOT reading all of that#WHY DID I TYPE THAT#WHAT THE FUCK 😭#random#random shit#stupid joke i came up with#boo 👎
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sorry :(((
was NOT joking btw
leak verified by 2 sources
Okay can you just-
Not go around talking about spoilers?
I understand being excited but most people would rather be surprised, especially when it comes to stuff like post-credit scenes.
#Chip Chatter#I don't want to be or sound mean here but seriously dude#you can't go around spoiling shit unprompted#luckily the stuff you spoiled wasn't too huge but I was literally asking if the *OST* had spoils like 10 minutes ago lmao#we're 3-4 days away from release- you can talk about it all you want then (as long as you tag it properly of course)#we're in the final stretch so let's try and be patient now alright?#also genuinely if this is a joke and you're just fucking with me then it's not funny#I'm not “mad” but I'm also not laughing
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who will win: pda autism vs adhd need for external motivation
#zach.txt#the answer is neither and instead they just both kick my ass#i am so tired and i'm sick of being 10 minutes late to work every day but the second i hear 'you have to-' i want to shred my brain#also i don't care how mad i am bc i know i shut down and try not to snap at ppl but#don't fucking tell me to take deep breaths and then laugh like it's fucking funny
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had an insane day at work coz there was a cockroach the size of a fucking mandarin orange in my shoe. IIN MY SHOEEEEE . not the mention the fact it was 2 hours after clocking that i felt something poke my foot. I HAD A COCKROACH IN MY SHOE FOR TWO HOURS 😭😭😭 when i reached in expecting a tiny piece of trash or some shit like that and pulled out THAT i screamed so fuckin loud the entire resturuant looked to see who tf kicked a cat like i was freaking out . shit had me jumping around as if somehow my body would let me escape it . my (very understanding) supervisor dragged me to the back coz i literally could not stop going OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD at the top of my lungs . i just know that poor woman doesnt get paid enough to calm down a hyperventilating teenager . my boss thought it was hilarious though
#txt#i shook so violently for the next 10 minutes like#that shit had me RATTLED#im so embarrassed omfg ...................... half my coworkers know i got a roach problem now 😭#my boss' first reaction was to laugh tell me 'that was really funny' and continue to laugh#not one fuck will be given from that man right there. not ever#anyway im so fucking glad the week is over . it was really rough for a lot of reasons#this was just to cap it all off :)
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Sometimes, peoples tags in the reblogs just fucking break me
#it kills me#sometimes theyre so fucking funny i will be laughing for 10 minutes straight#and ill remember the next day and laugh again#/pos#thx for the support recentoy btw :]#carly storytime
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man journalism ain't what it is nowadays. the invited people on my TV keep yelling at each other and look like they're second away from mauling each other. the interviewer straight up had to intervene and reprimand them like they're little kids like. grown ass people ???
#this law is driving people insane omg#if they start throwing hands i wouldn't be surprised#i was about to turn it off and go study but now i think that im gonna keep it on JUST a little bit more#oh shit they had to transition to an ad#are they gonna put them in timeout while the ads play ?#omg they're back#they look calmer now#did they kiss#ok yeah no they're normal now i think im gonna turn it off#twas still a lil funny to watch#oop nevermind they're fighting again#this has been going on for almost an hour now#im having so much fun watching them argue. this is the equivalent of a comedy show to me#the interviewer looks so close to laughing his ass off this is fucking ridiculous#sobbing they had to put another ad break WHILE they were arguing literally what the fuck#it's not even been 10 minutes#all of this over a stupid ass law made by a stupid ass president#holy shit wait i think they straight up threw them out cause now they're changing the subject. they're on a completely different headline#oh my god they actually did. there's a completely different person remplacing them#funniest shit ive ever seen#grown ass people
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I just like the idea of Red hood having a medic, that always finds him whenever and wherever.
Like my boy danny, can and will go to different measures, so he can just find the boss of the crime alley alive and well.
Getting hurt? No you aren't, patched him up and forcefully tucked him into bed with a kiss, Getting depressed? No you aren't, Wrapped him in a blanket and just let him read his novels all day and feeding him, Getting kidnap? No you aren't, Cue the corrupted video of Danny breaking in the kidnapper's lair and just freeing Red hood, No blood was shed that night, well not from Red hood that is.
Danny was something else Red hood will tell you if you ever bring up his Medic into a conversation, he would stare at the man with heart eyes as he accompanied him to do random check ups on people under Red hood's care in his civilian persona. Danny may seem weak and brittle but he can give a punch if he really wanted to, He was mysterious but at the same time so open.
Danny was prideful as he wore the medal of being the only one that knows Red hood's real apartment, and the only one that could break in and enter without getting his presence known, just to make sure the crime lord was sleeping and eating properly.
Red hood practically made a joke out of this and would always tell everyone that his medic will be mad, if he isn't in bed by curfew, and he needed to be back at his house by 10:00 sharp or he'll get dragged and thrown, who knew the all so scary crime lord had a bedtime, criminals and civilians often leave him be when the clock strikes 9:50 pm afraid of enraging the meta medic.
__
"I am telling you B, I can't do that right now, its almost my curfew." Red hood sighed in frustration, he was currently standing in the middle of the bat cave, ready to run if batman tried to talk again.
"This is an important, case Hood, and it requires your participation" Batman stood still, face devoid of any emotions " Afterall it has something to do, with crime alley, there has been a meta spotted, and its creating havoc all around the place."
Jason, blinked, blinked twice, then thrice
"Is that it?"
"Jason, can't you see that this person's dangerous, they had already committed several crimes of arson, assault, and destruction of property, this person is abusing it's powers."
"No im not." An offended voice, called out from the side. all head turned towards the source of the voice, only to be greeted by 6'1 tall boy, who had black hair and blue eyes, and looked just round in his younger adult years. "In my defense they deserved it, won't give me a discount when i literally had a coupon." he rolled his eyes in annoyance.
"Who are you?" Batman asked, his guard up "And how did you get in here?"
"Red hood's medic and the meta you've labeling as dangerous, nice to meet you, and it wasn't that hard to spot this lair if you have x-ray vision" Danny greeted happily offering a handshake, which the dark knight didn't take, Danny retreated his hand in awkward silence.
"That was so sad" Jason cackled, as he pointed at Danny who gave him the middle finger.
"Shut, Its 10:30 pm, your bedtime was like 15 minutes ago, you don't get to talk until you're taller than me." Danny pointed at him.
"Fucking funny, im laughing" Sarcasm was laced in Jason's tone as he glared at Danny, before giving a sigh. "10:30 already shit, time does fly fast, when you're fighting a man in a furry costume" Red hood stated, as he walked towards Danny who only rolled his eyes.
"Bye B, i hope to not see you anytime this week or the next week." He nonchalantly waved bye to the older male, while walking towards his medic.
he turned his head to meet Danny's gaze, then smacked his arm making the man stumble. "Come on, now boss man do your thing"
Danny gave him, a glare before shoving him playfully, he then turned to look at empty air and practically ripped out a dimensional portal out of it, and pushed Jason in it who tripped.
"Bye Mr.Batman, it was nice meeting you" Danny bid farewell as he closed the portal on the Man who looked like he can use a break.
#dc x dp#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc#dc x dp crossover#dp x dc fanfic#dp x dc prompt#dpdc#dead on main#dead on main prompt
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Someone, take Lego away from Konig (yandere!loser!Konig x fem!Reader)
AO3
Konig is keeping you in his basement. Turns out, this is still not the worst part. His interest are.
Tags ans Warnings: Dub-con, obsessive behaviour, possessive behavior, yandere loser Konig, size difference, kidnapping, weird fluff.
König can play women’s bodies like fine musical instruments.
After he spent 10 minutes vigorously rubbing your outer labia, you concluded that he was thrown out of musical school on day one.
He flicks your clit occasionally, clearly not considering it something worthy of attention and, obviously, not something that actually brings you pleasure – he fidgets with it mechanically, like it’s a part of his riffle, and you almost want to say that his dismissive approach is kind of hot. He edges you perfectly, always giving away just enough pleasure that it feels nice, but not nearly enough that it brings you to orgasm – and he does so with zero idea of what he is doing, which makes you…almost proud. Of him. Of your angry crazy incel loser kidnapper who thought that bringing you lego flowers would make you suck his cock.
Well, it kinda did. Not the flowers, the whole…kidnapping thing. He did use it to get into your pants – and you aren’t even allowed to wear those now. Only his shirts, maybe a hoodie on a cold day, and a pair of lacy panties that he slips on you every morning he is at home.
You have a system – and König does his best to maintain it. You are getting fed at the same time, to make sure that your pretty little self is not malnourished, you are getting roughly clean clothes — most of it belongs to him, of course, like it’s not embarrassing to wear, and sometimes he even asks how your day was. Sometimes you look him deep in the eyes and say that you didn’t move from your usual spot the whole day because, well, you are kidnapped. Sometimes you are trying to be funny and make some silly jokes — and then he either gets too comfortable laughing and then trying to get his hand all the way down the depths of your inner thighs, or he gets angry.
König knows that a petty flower like you doesn’t want to be in captivity for so long, but there really isn’t much both of you can do about it.
He brings you different lego sets from time to time, trying to find out what you like the most. He doesn’t quite understand that, working in a Lego shop, you were utterly sick of most of the boxes lying around. He tried to gauge the reaction out of you, but you’re either ignoring him, crying or begging him to let you go…and he can’t exactly have that. He, kinda, can, of course, but it would mean sliding off your brain so you would never tell anyone about your experiences, or getting into a showdown with the police – and knowing that he hopped you through the border illegally to be his captive wife, wouldn’t really give him any brownie points. He is fucked, utterly and completely, if you’re ever going to be free without falling madly in love with him…
Which is why König is trying to make you love him. Thoroughly, utterly, and spending copious amounts of time with his tongue buried between your folds in the meantime.
Like now.
— You like it, ja? When I move like this…
He was spending too much time caressing and fondling your thighs – but you must admit that having his lips travel across your skin and sending goosebumps right into your core wasn’t so bad…he touched you a bit awkwardly, just a tad bit shy – like he wasn’t so sure how to approach a soft, female body instead of a cold rifle he was probably used to…he knows that he can’t just treat you like another one of his guns but, by god, if he doesn’t adore the way you look at him. All scared and nervous as he pushes his lips upwards, as he covers your soft skin with bite marks – you were so sure that he will be too nervous to even touch you, but you know better now…this guy doesn’t care that he is your captor. He only wants you to accept him, and if giving you gifts didn’t work out…
You needed to be a bit more diligent about the whole accepting his kindness thing. Maybe he would have been satisfied with a handjob – but now he wants to put his hands on you and do his job.
— Too…too much, Ko…
— Call me “sir”.
There is steel in his voice, and you stiff slightly. This is new – he was never like this before, even though you kinda got that he was in some sort of military. He was way too bulky and had too much money to be a regular gun nerd, so you settled for some special forces or elite war crime unit…then again, you weren’t in Germany anymore. Guy would have to get another citizenship to get into a more serious “I fucking hate my fellow man” forces.
He flicks his tongue over your clit and you remember what you’re here for. To get fucked. Because you are fucked. Not right now in physical sense, but you will be in a few minutes, and you’ve been mentally fucked for a few another hours and-
— Sir, ple…too much, re…really…
König fuckijng adores you.
He loves your trembling voice, your trembling hands, your trembling everything. The way you squint your eyes as he finds all of your special spots – it took him some time but ladies are just like riffles – come undone if you press on a few parts. You look perfect under him, and he couldn’t have you any other way even if he wanted to…god, you’re too fucking perfect for your own good. So, so pretty, it’s insane how he didn’t fuck you the first night you’ve been in his basement. Perhaps, he was trying to be a gentleman – fuck this, now. If he knew how sweet you would sound, he’d abandon any rotten chivalry on day one.
König didn’t have a lot of experience – a few sex workers here and there, some in the more exotic destinations while the others were, embarrassingly enough, from his hometown. It was a sense of domesticity, that he isn’t a fucking loser who can’t get a lady in his bed without wavering either his gun or hit wallet – but he has you now, and you don’t really care about his money or his guns…unless he counts your obvious activity. Which he doesn’t. Good golly, you’re too fucking pretty to count that.
He flicks his tongue over your clit and dips lower, deeper, sucking the sweet nectar straight from the source. You’re embarrassingly wet even as you try to push his head away – he would handcuff you, but he likes your little resistance attempts too much. He moans every time you tug on his hair and, with time, you should finally understand that everything you do only makes him want you more. Maybe, you do – but you keep doing this because you’re such a good girl who wants nothing more but to please her dearest…not exactly husband, but he can work on this. He has friends in places. Same ones who used to get him out of detentions when his quiet kid violent tendencies weren’t quite quiet enough.
He is moaning as he eats you out – the sound reverberates from your walls and makes you clench around his tongue, your brain already getting fried from pleasure. You never wanted to get off from your captor’s tongue buried so deep between your legs, but you surely enjoy it now…
You try to pry his head from you when he gets a bit too eager, when it feels like his nose is smashing your clit and you can only moan some mindless bullshit.
— You want to talk about lego instead?
He presses his head on your thighs, his cheek angled against the soft skin. He has a bit of a stubble that burns the soft skin, but the look in his eyes is far too eager. He is not bullshitting – and this is the most terrifying he is ever been. You try to imagine another three-hour lecture Star Wars and the history of lego sets combined with his awkward attempts to fuck you in between turning his affection spam from one thing to the other. The picture is vivid in your mind. You can almost hear it.
You consider your options. It is a hard decision for you.
— You know, they weren’t able to sell the sets to girls up until…
You grab a fistful of his hair and push his face all the way down your dripping pussy.
It looks like the only sure way of making your captor shut up is literally forcing him to fuck you…there were many such cases – you embarrassingly easily fall to his charms, even though he has the aura and charisma of a serial killer who got a freshly baked orphan for his lunch and then tried to talk you into destroying a small country’s economy.
König eats you out with the vigor of a starving man, and there isn’t a place he would love to be more than here and now, listening to your heavenly moans. This is the best motivational song he heard so far – and as he pushes his big, flat tongue deeper into the gummy walls of your clenching pussy, he thinks about recording your sounds and then listening to them in the gym. Could probably break the poor lifting pole with the strength of his fists.
He brought you to an orgasm – not easily, he had to lick the reaction out of you, your heat coming down to both of you like a wave. You feel tired immediately, knowing just how much energy you just wasted listening to his blabber between your legs – but you honestly can’t be arsed to react right now.
König lifts his body up so he can kiss you – you taste yourself on him and, admittedly, it’s a lovely way to make him shut up. You still tremble as you get down from your high, your legs finally giving up, even though you were already laying on that shabby mattress. You shift slightly so he won’t crush you under the weight of his body. A Lego piece pocks at your side, making you wince.
You hate this fucking place.
— What’s wrong, Liebling?
He nuzzles your neck like a needy dog, pressing light kisses all over your skin. He is marking it, too – you can’t keep comparing him to a dog, but this is exactly what he is. Simply a war hound that you have to tame in order to get a somewhat normal life while still belonging in his basement. You thought you knew how to play this game – then he pushed you on your tummy and fucked you because, apparently, you were too good at playing him. Even now, he acts more like a lover – if only you could see past his homicidal tendencies…
But you can’t.
But he doesn’t care anyway.
— I…
You bite your lips, trying to come up with a lie that wouldn’t make him fuck you. König thought you looked beautiful like this, all holed up in your thoughts. So, so pretty, he couldn’t help himself – he needed you, as much as he kinda hated playing the psychological game and trying to understand what you’re thinking. Ladies are too mysterious for him, after all.
— I want to sleep in a normal bed.
Oh.
Well, he…didn’t expect this.
He was ready to combat your desire to run away or to be let go willingly. He was ready to put you on your knees and make you beg for him to not let you go - after all, you did belong to him in all of his right. He didn’t…didn’t expect you to want something so simple. Something that he can do. God, you’d look fucking divine on his bed instead of the tiny basement he put you in. He can already imagine you on your tummy, face buried in his pillows as he pounds into your soft ass and explains every superhero poster he has in his room. He will show you all of his figures and knives and guns, and you’ll finally see just how amazing he is and how interesting his hobbies are – and you’re bound to finally love him the way he deserves.
You stare at him, blankly. He kinda loves when you look like that – sometimes he imagines you being a mindless little bimbo who can’t think of anything besides his dick, and it helps him get off when you’re too sleepy to play along with him. He tried to bring you more sets, something childish, something meant for girls – but you tossed away the rose bouquet and you didn’t even spare a second glance at some fandom set that he thought you’d like. God, you’re difficult. Women are difficult. Why can’t you be as straight as a riffle?
— Normal bed, Katzen? You don’t like it here?
He puts a hand on your shoulder, his fingers too big to rest on your body carefully – he easily reaches for your neck and he knows that you’d go out like a light with the smallest squeeze. You’re adorable and soft like this, and he can’t wait to finally try choking with you.
König imagines your pretty, soft body all helpless under him – maybe you’d claw at his hands and beg him to stop, maybe you’d enjoy it, drenching the small mattress with your juices. Maybe you’d push your hips towards his, desperately searching for release. You can be a nasty, dirty girl, he knows this all too well – mostly because he did go through your phone and searched for your browser history. Who knew that a simple lego store cashier could have so many kidnapping and overpowering fantasies. Who knew that you could be so wet just because some military-obsessed loser wanted to shove his cock into you and wasn’t nice enough to ask first.
— I…I don’t like the basement.
Smart girl. You know how to be sot and obedient when you have to. Too bad, this behavior also made you all the more desirable for König – compared to the rowdy recruits and dumb enemies, your quiet voice is everything he needs to not go crazy. His hand plays with your neck, squeezing it slightly, playfully. He can feel your pulse quickening every time he does this and he is sure that if he’d drop his hand between your legs again, your pulsating pussy would be wet enough to indicate a second orgasm.
Shit.
He goes too far again.
— You don’t like the basement? Why?
You stare at him, blankly. He seriously thought there is nothing wrong with the basement – it’s small, yes, but probably just about the size of a studio apartment you were able to afford while working in Berlin, of all places. You have a mattress, a loving boyfriend, you have all the food and snacks you want, your pussy is filled with cum and your mind should be filled with endless love and adoration for the coolest guy in the world who just so happens to be in love with you, so…
He looks at your face again. Ja, you don’t like the basement. You’re a surface girl after all.
— You really want me to answer that? It’s the basement.
He snorts, still dragging the conversation.
— I spend most of my childhood in the basement. It was nice.
— I could tell.
— What?
— Nothing. Let me out, please.
He sighs with deeply settled tiredness. He thought you’d be nicer about it, too – but he knows what ladies want, he is a ladies' man at heart. He doesn’t have one, of course, not unless this charcoal-black shrapnel-filled thing deep in his chest could be considered one, but he tried his best to be good for you. You deserve something nice, something good. He wants to kiss you all over and he will do it on his own bed, while trying to talk you into watching some old nerdy TV show with him. Maybe you’d agree to play with some Lego after this and it could be considered a really nice and thorough foreplay.
— I can’t.
— Let me sleep on a normal bed, then.
Well, this, he can do.
Carefully unlocking your shackles and immediately catching your legs so you won’t kick him in an attempt to escape, König picks you up like a kitten. It’s scary, almost, how easy it is for him to just manhandle you into the position he wants. He is a big boy, admittingly, so it really doesn’t matter how big or how small you are. He can abuse you easily, and this is why you’re trying to keep him gentle. Using all of your womanly charms even if this guy would get off just from you calling his name.
He covers your eyes so you won’t see anything – not like you’re interested in the amount of weirdly specific movie posters on the walls or an alarming amount of firearms. He knows he is not the most charming person out there with the most interesting hobbies, but you will learn to appreciate all of his anime figures, or else you’re going to suffer the fate of a recruit who dares to ask his late thirties colonel of who the fuck Ayanami Rei is. Rumors are held that this guy was never seen in the army again.
He only puts the hand away from your face when you are sitting on the soft bed. You stare at the navy sheets – fucking obviously – and, surprisingly, a bed frame. Then your gaze travels a bit further, to the walls and…
God.
Oh fuck.
You almost want to cry from how much of a loser your kidnapper is. He is a threatening mercenary, a fucking colonel in military uniform who holds you at gunpoint occasionally. You stare at the anime posters. You contemplate your options.
— Can I go back to the basement?
If god is real, he is a fucking anime girl from the poster in your kidnapper’s bedroom.
#cod#konig x reader#konig#cod x reader#yandere konig#yandere cod#call of duty#konig x you#konig smut#cod konig#loser!konig
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ALASTOR DRABBLE -☆
Suggestive under the cut!
"Holy shit Alastor! Is that a lipstick stain?" Angel asked, referring to a red smudge on the collar of Alastors white button up.
The hotel staff had planned a nice dinner night for all the new guests they'd gotten recently, meaning everyone wore their best suited attire.
"Ha! You're seeing things my good man."
- flashback to earlier -
You'd just finished applying your lipstick, setting the tube down on your vanity as your date for the evening came out of the bathroom. You were so thankful that Alastor was interested in you, everyone knew he wasn't really one for romance, yet here he was as your dinner date.
"Oh my stars! You look so good in that outfit! I knew it'd suit you." You were the one who bought him this outfit, since he wasn't used to wearing anything but his usual dress coat.
"I'm glad you like it my dear! I wouldn't be wearing it for anyone else." It was rare to see him without some sort of coat covering his figure, so you wanted this outfit to be absolutely perfect.
You got up from your vanity and made your way over to the doorway he was standing in. Reaching up to straighten his collar, then looking up to meet his eyes. The smile he wore was hypnotising, and the effect it had on you was serious, it made you smile too - most likely from intimidation. You shifted to your tip-toes and gave him a peck, forgetting about your lipstick that wasn't kiss-proof.
"Oh!" You giggled at the sight of Alastor with lipstick on, yet he didn't know what had occurred. "What's so funny darling?" You laughed and lead him to the mirror, letting him see what you'd done. "Would you look at that..." he spoke, "you've marked me, that's different." His eyes grew darker as he observed the vibrant red on his skin, "you want some more?" You asked with a smile.
"How could I say no to a smile like that? Go ahead my dear." He said, crouching down a bit just so you could reach his neck. You hands grasped his collar, keeping him still as you peppered kisses all over his neck and jawline. Giggling the whole time because of how pretty he looked, absolutely covered in your affection. His hands started to drag up your dress, which was already short to begin with. The room started to fill with lust, you could feel it surrounding you, moving up to Alastors lips to capture him in a proper kiss. Feeling his tongue invade every inch of your mouth, smudging the red substance all over him in the process. His hands got dangerously close to your heat, ready to rip off your dress and take you right now, but suddenly-
*bzz* *bzz* *bzz*
"Oh shit Charlie's calling! Uh helloooo"
"Where are you guys? We started like 10 minutes ago and you know I hate leaving people out."
"I'm so sorry Charlie, I uh- we'll be down in a sec I promise!" You ended the call and turned back to Alastor, getting a proper look at your work. Oh how you wish you could take a photo.
"We're late! We gotta go now." You said, scrambling to the bathroom and grabbing some makeup wipes to sort out your messy lips. Alastor slowly followed behind you and did the same, a little sad he had to rub it all off so soon."As much as I would love to show this off, something like this would tarnish my reputation. I'm sure you understand my dear." You smiled, happy that you found something else he enjoys in the bedroom. Little did he know, you accidentally got some on the side of his collar, very obvious since the shirt was white as well. Oh well.
- back to the present -
"I know a lipstick mark when I see one! You can't fool me old man." Of course Angel noticed, you couldn't wait to tell him what actually happened between you two in your next gossip session.
----------------------------------------------------
This came to mind outta nowhere and I was like FUCK YEAAAA so aha hope u like itt x
#hazbin#hazbin hotel#alastor#alastor x reader#alastor smut#alastor fanfiction#the radio demon#smut#fluff#angst#fanfic#fanfiction#angel dust#charlie morningstar#vaggie#lucifer#hazbin smut#hazbin fanfic#hazbin hotel smut#hazbin hotel x reader#husk#vox#valentino#vivziepop#helluva boss#lemon#lime#suggestive
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Hunger
Joel Miller x Reader
Rating: EXPLICIT 18+
Word count: 2.8k
Summary: on a patrol near Jackson with Joel, you run out of food and have to make do with whatever you can find. Eating the wrong thing makes you both feel… different.
A/N: Here’s another one shot unrelated to Temptation :) I really wanted to write a sex pollen thing with Joel and here it is!!
Warnings: sex pollen/sex poison, smut, dub-con based on the nature of the sex pollen/poison trope, talk about being hungry/eating, unprotected p in v (don’t do this), masturbation, rough sex, angry fucking, being mean to each other, Joel calls you a slut, choking, hair pulling, quick mention of blood/taste of blood, nipple play, spanking with object, anal play, creampie.
Joel Miller Masterlist
****************************************************
“I’m fucking starving.” You sigh, walking alongside Joel in the forest.
You were on day two of a three day patrol route, tonight you’d stay in some cabin in the middle of nowhere. Tomorrow you’d return to Jackson.
“Drink some water. It’ll hold ya over.” Joel sighs back at you. “Or pick some mushrooms.”
You scoff at him. “Very funny.”
“I thought so.” He chuckles quietly.
You roll your eyes, trudging through the humid spring weather. “Are there any edible flowers out here? Shit, I’d eat tree bark at this point.”
Joel shakes his head. “Don’t know much about the plants out here.”
You frown. Until…
“Oh my god.” You gasp and run to a bush you spotted about 10 yards away.
Joel calls after you, using your name to try and get your attention. But it doesn’t work, you were laser focused.
On a tall bush, almost as tall as you, there were berries. Ones that looked… like a raspberry, or a blackberry, but they were orange. You weren’t a hundred percent sure, but, you feel like you remember maybe eating these before.
“Joel!” You wave him over and he walks faster to get to you.
“What?” He sighs, putting a hand on his hip.
“These are edible.” You smile at him, then look at the bush, then back at Joel. “I think.”
He rolls his eyes and begins to walk past you.
“Joel, I know you’re just as hungry as I am. And I swear I remember eating berries just like this before. They should be fine.” You reasoned with him.
He turns back to face you. “Fine. Eat a couple.” He shrugs.
You gulp and stare at the berries for a few seconds before plucking a few and putting them in your mouth. You start to chew and soon scrunch your nose. They’re tart. Not quite sour, but very tart. You couldn’t give a shit at this point.
“They’re good.” You smile at Joel and pull more berries from the bush.
He walks over and picks a berry, bringing it up to his nose to smell it before finally putting it in his mouth. He starts to chew. “These are not good.”
“Quit complaining. It’s food. If those goddamn squirrels hadn’t gotten into your pack that you just left lying around for an hour…”
“You’re the one who fell asleep while you were s’posed to be watchin’ our shit, I was hunting.” He sneers at you.
“That’s because you talk in your sleep and I barely got two hours last night!” You scoff at him.
“Swear to god, if I die by some fuckin’ berries after all the shit I-“
“You’re not gonna die, Joel. Don’t be such a pussy.” You laugh and keep plucking berries and putting them into your mouth.
He sighs and breaks off a small branch, picking a couple more berries and eating them. “Reminds me of pineapple… except, not good.”
You shake your head and keep eating, ignoring his complaining for the next ten minutes while you both gorge yourself on the fruit.
“Should be getting to that safe house in the next hour.” Joel nods at you as you both continue walking, bellies full and satisfied.
A half hour passes and you feel like your skin is too hot. Your clothes are too hot. It was humid, but… it was only maybe 60° out. You shouldn’t be sweating like this.
Joel was on the same page, having taken his light jacket off only ten minutes into continuing your walk to the cabin.
“Joel…” you speak cautiously.
“I don’t feel good either.” He sighs.
“What should we-“ you start.
“Just gotta let the body process it. Or reject it. Whichever comes first.”
You both let out long sighs and keep walking.
15 more minutes and there’s a dull ache in the pit of your stomach. Lower than that, actually. It feels like where your uterus is.
You notice that Joel is breathing heavy, sounding more and more labored.
“Down… uh,” Joel glances at you and then stares for a second. “Down this trail here.” He points to a spot a few yards up where the main road diverts to a slim trail, barely noticeable if you hadn’t been looking for it. It was overgrown.
You nod at him, feeling warmth bloom in your chest and face. You follow him down the trail for a couple minutes when you come across a large fallen tree.
Joel climbs over it easily with his long legs. You? Not so much.
You struggle for a moment as you try and get your footing on a branch start on the side of the log, but you can’t.
“Jesus, give me a fucking hand, will you?” You snap at Joel.
He rolls his eyes and reaches out a hand to help you over the tree.
The second you grab his hand, you feel a jolt of electricity run up your arm and straight to your core. You couldn’t pinpoint what was going on. You felt irritable… angry… but all you could think about after getting over that log, was how Joel’s skin felt against yours.
You approached the cabin just a couple minutes later. You both walk inside and set down your bags before Joel disappears into the bathroom.
You hear the faucet start to run. You’d forgotten this place was connected to water… just didn’t have a working water heater.
You sat down in a recliner in the living room and involuntarily moaned when a spring under the thin recliner padding pressed against your heat through your jeans.
“Fuck.” You breathe.
You wait only ten to fifteen seconds before you figure Joel is gonna be awhile and you stick your hand down your pants. You start rubbing your clit furiously, hoping for some fucking relief before Joel comes back.
You’d go upstairs to the loft style bedroom so at least there would be a delay in Joel catching you like this, but you think rubbing your thighs together while going up stairs would make you cum anyways.
“Fuck it.” You whisper to yourself, dipping two fingers into your cunt. This is probably the wettest you’ve ever been.
In fact, you wouldn’t be surprised if you’d soaked through both your panties and your jeans by now.
You hear a low grunt come from the bathroom over the sound of the faucet and it only spurs you on. Was it because you were horny out of your mind, or did that sound sexual?
A moment later, the faucet turns off and you quickly pull your hand out of your pants and wipe the wetness on the side of the recliner. Just in time too, as Joel walks out of the bathroom a second later.
He spots you on the recliner, leaned back, eyes hooded, legs spread, and something in his face changes.
He looks furious, but… helpless.
You bring your bottom lip between your teeth, the sensation making your whole body tingle. You look Joel up and down, feeling more wetness pool between your legs.
God, you normally didn’t get along great with him, but… you’d kill a hundred men just to have his cock inside you right now.
“Something’s wrong.” Are the first words said in that moment. Spoken by Joel.
“No shit, Sherlock.” You breathe hard, standing up.
“Don’t you fuckin’ mouth off to me.” Joel spits, stepping closer and pointing a finger at you.
You push his finger out of your face, another jolt of electricity moving through you at the skin contact. “What are you gonna do about it, old man?” You seeth.
Joel then grabs you by the throat, pushing you against the nearest wall. You can’t help but whimper at the feeling, looking up at him through your lashes.
“Shut up.” He frowns.
“Make me.” You test him.
His grip on your throat tightens, his other hand moving up to grab the hair on the back of your head. He tilts your face up by pulling down on your hair and you squeeze your thighs together, moaning despite him choking you.
You reach down into your own pants again, needing just a little relief from the searing pain and pleasure coursing through your clit.
Joel whimpers at the sight of you, his face darting down to yours and crushing your lips together.
You growl into his mouth and bite his bottom lip, and then you taste blood. He grunts and pulls back, looking down at the tank top you were in, grabbing the front with both hands and ripping it from top to bottom. You shrug the ripped clothing off, reaching behind yourself to undo your bra as you look up at him.
His eyes are damn near black. Pupils blown as wide as you’ve ever seen. He’s panting and leans down to kiss you again, despite you having bit his lip too hard on the first one.
His hands drift up your hips and over your breasts, quickly stripping you of your bra. He leans down immediately, taking your right nipple into his mouth and biting just enough to get you to squeak out a moan.
“Joel-“ you cry out as his fingers tweak your left nipple.
“What?” He asks harshly.
“Fuck me, goddamnit. Don’t have time for this shit.” You snap back.
“Take your fucking clothes off.” He barks the order as he backs up and starts to unbutton his own shirt.
He watches you with dark eyes as you slip your boots off, then your jeans, then your mostly soaked panties.
By the time he’s got his shirt off, you’re completely naked, staring at the tent in his jeans. You reach down and start to fuck yourself with two of your fingers. Joel undoes his belt and rips it from its loops in one swift motion.
You stare at him with doe eyes as he folds the leather strip in half before grabbing your wrist and pulling your fingers out. He growls and grabs you by the shoulders, moving you to lean over the arm of the couch. Lightning fast, he undoes his zipper and pulls himself out. You don’t even have time to look back when a *crack* fills the room and your ass stings painfully.
“Did I tell you you could do that?” Joel smacks your ass with his belt again.
“I told you to fuck me, already!” You screamed at him, looking back.
“Careful what you wish for.” He growls and lines up, pushing into you in under a second.
“Fuck!” You clench around him involuntarily, hearing his belt buckle hit the ground. This gave you a little relief from having to experience even more pain than you already are; between the whips of the belt and the way Joel is stretching you out.
“You asked for it.” He grunts and starts with fast, rough thrusts.
“Yeah, I know.” You spit the words at him over your shoulder.
“Show me some goddamn respect.” His cock hits the sweet spot inside you as he speaks, making you whimper loudly.
One of his hands is gripping your hip, the other reaching around your front, under your arm, gripping your breast harshly. He was holding onto you for dear life and you couldn’t get enough of it.
You’re hissing through your teeth at almost every thrust as the sound of his hips slapping your ass fills the room.
Joel doesn’t let up, his hands in bruising grips on your body. The hand on your breast moved to the front of your throat, gripping it, slowly cutting off your blood supply. He pulls you up against his chest, the new angle of your hips helping him get deeper as he fucks up into you.
“More!” You shout at him, fingers tapping the back of his hand on your throat.
He tightens his grip on you, you’re starting to see spots when your cunt pulses around him and you squirt your release all over his cock. “Fuck!” You gasp, tears forming in your eyes when Joel finally loosens his grip on your neck and you gasp for air.
You sob a string of curses as your orgasm washes over you, but Joel doesn’t stop. His hips begin to stutter and you know he’s got to be close.
You reach down and fiddle with your clit, wanting to cum again already.
“You’re a freaky thing aren’t you?” Joel asked, replacing your fingers with his own. “Bet you’d let me do anything I wanted. Fuckin’ slut.”
You nod as tears roll down your cheeks.
“Gonna let me cum inside you?? Fill up this tight pussy?” He whispers against the shell of your ear.
“Y- yes!! Fuck, fucking do it!” You grind down against his cock and fingers and suddenly you’re both losing it.
Joel’s fingers and hips stutter as he pumps his load into you, your cunt milking him for all he’s got. He keeps moving until his hips and back start hurting.
His dick is still hard as a rock when he pulls out of you. And there was no end in sight for you, you think you could cum ten more times and not be satisfied. You didn’t know at this point.
Joel moves around you and sits on the couch, cock in hand. His wet strokes are music to your ears as you maneuver yourself into his lap, facing away from him, each of your legs on the outside of his.
You can feel your own slick and his cum mixing together and leaking down to your asshole as you lean back against Joel’s chest.
“Fuck me again.” You pant.
“Shut up.” He spreads his thighs to make yours even further away from each other, reaching around and looking over your shoulder as he pushes two fingers into you.
He collects the wetness and starts rubbing up and down your slit, his thumb repeatedly brushing over your bundle of nerves.
“I told you I don’t have t- time for this, Joel.” You cry as you start to grind up against his hand with each downward movement of it.
“And I told you to shut up.” He growls and bites your earlobe. He can feel you dripping on him and he grabs you by the waist and folds you forward, making you put your hands on the coffee table for balance and support.
He lines himself up and pushes his cock into you, his fingers still covered in your juices moving to the hole that he hasn’t filled yet.
“Oh-“ you breathe, stomach churning with pleasure. “Do it. Fuck, don’t tease me, Joel. I’ll fucking stab you in the leg, I don’t-“ You’re cut off when his middle finger slowly pushes into you, making you gasp.
He starts thrusting himself up into your pussy while his finger worked its way in and out of your tightest hole, your slick and Joel’s cum sufficiently lubing you up.
His finger moved faster as his hips bucked up against yours. You start to roll your hips in rhythm with his and you’re about to cum again.
Joel feels you clench around him and he knows you’re close. He starts fucking you especially hard, loving the way you were bouncing on his cock.
His finger pulls out of you and he grabs your hips with both hands for more force and then you’re screaming his name as you cum hard.
Close behind, Joel groans as he shoots his load into you again. His hands start to loosen on your hips, his dick starting to finally soften inside you. Your anger has faded, your stomach no longer burning with feral need.
Joel pulled you back against his chest again as he came to his senses. “Did I hurt you?” He spoke softly, cock flexing, still in your pussy.
You hum a sigh, tired. “No. I mean… yes. But it didn’t hurt in a way that I didn’t like.”
“Alright.” He wraps his arms around your waist, hands splaying out over your belly.
“This okay?” He asks after a moment, nose tracing circles in the soft spot behind your ear.
“Yeah… I-“ you take a breath. “I think I’ve been wanting to do that for awhile.”
Joel laughs quietly. “You ‘think’? Whaddya mean?”
You shake your head, smacking his arm lightly. “I just didn’t want to admit to myself that I had a crush on you. So I played up the sass a bit.”
“Ahh, okay.” He hums.
“Like you didn’t? You tease me all the fucking time, Joel.”
He nods, breath ghosting over your neck, causing goosebumps to raise there. “And I know you love it.”
————————————————————————
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tease | H.S oneshot
summary: seeing harry tonguing his guitar last night has you finally admitting the state he puts you in. and that’s never good when you’re a tour photographer. especially now you have photographic evidence of the moment.
warnings: SMUT, oral (fem rec), dirty talk, praise, swearing
a/n: can’t stop thinking about that fucking video? like it’s on loop in my head I can’t. he was so slutty last night it’s illegal. also this isn’t 100% proofread so enjoy I hope it’s okay!
———
Some days at work are harder than others for you.
Today, you knew was going to be rough the second Harry walked out in single-handedly the most revealing outfit he could have. Borderlining absolutely slutty.
And as his tour photographer, that is quite a bold statement to make when you’ve seen every single outfit— and when his top half is often found shirtless up on stage.
But tonight, out backstage when you were prepping your SD cards and ordering your camera lenses, he walked out of his dressing room adorning his stage outfit to show you, and your stomach dropped the sight of him.
It was a new style, something he hadn’t worn before. A cropped, tasseled blue vest, paired with low rise pants that looked like they were clinging onto his hips for dear life.
“Alrighty, what d’ya think?” He asked, doing a little spin to shake the tassels.
Your mouth opened and words struggled to form as your head fogged over from just seeing his body. And the way his ferns were fully out— along with almost all of his other ink on display. Arms, chest and all.
You had sworn this, many times, was just your eye for art. For people like him who made photography electric. But as time and the tour progressed on from its earlier start in 2021, it was getting harder to convince yourself. Because even if you didn’t acknowledge it, there was no way to justify the heat that stirred in your stomach as just admiration.
“Oh— wow— I like the tassels,” you paused, tongue swiping over your lips, “they’ll be really fun in the photos, I’ll try to get some motion blur type shots with them.”
Your hand reached out before your brain even computed what it was doing, grabbing one of the rhinestoned threads at the base of his vest and running down it. Knuckles brushing the side of his chest.
“Excited to see them as always, m’lovely.” He smiles, the pet name making you flush.
“10 minutes till you’re on, H!” Someone called out.
You laughed at the panicked expression on his face as he realised he was probably dawdling, and in fact behind on his own schedule.
“Alright!” He confirmed back, then chuckling as he whispered to you, “I still gotta brush m’teeth.”
“Well, cmon let’s go, I’ll see what behind the scene shots I can get.”
And you thought that the time spent with him pre-show would ease your racing mind a little, but now that you’re out on the floor you’re almost jittering.
He looks fucking delectable. And by the sound of the stadium around you, they notice it too.
As he steps out you have to force your camera up to your face, which is something you never have to do? But looking at him through your viewfinder is hardly enough to satiate you.
Especially a little later in the show, when your camera is aimed to the back of him— and he’s squated down to get a drink of water…
His pants slipping so far down his hips that the waistband of his Calvin Kleins are easily visible.
Some girls on barricade behind you are going feral simply at the sight. And you can hardly blame them, because the sight of them makes you a little light headed too. Tonight he’s really not leaving much to the imagination.
You feel obliged to take a photo of it, lens aiming up to him— hearing the girls from behind you as your cameras shutters open to capture the moment. They’re shouting clearly, “Y/N, you get that pic girl!”
Another one yelling from your left, “SHES ONE OF US!”
You laugh at them. The fans are always an amazing part of the show. You leave with an array of adorable bracelets, funny shirts, and always lovely compliments.
You snap a few more photos before someone calls your name again, and you turn. A brunette girl, in an incredible replica of his recent purple and black heart overalls from the recent Wembley show, is standing.
“Y/N!” She reaffirms when you’re looking at her.
“Hi lovely, your outfit is amazing.” You smile, and she has fresh tears streaming down her face— a common love on tour occurrence.
“Ohmygod, thank you so much. I made you this tshirt, i wanted to give it to you!” She pulled a white shirt from her feet, presumably from a bag.
She held it out, unfolding it to show off the print on the front.
You immediately couldn’t help but let out a shocked laugh at it. A big pink shaded heart, with 2 also heart-shaped photos on each side of it— of you and Harry. But the best bit was the bubble written font, “my favourite parents!” that is above it.
“I— can I please take a photo of you with it first.”
She slaps a hand over her mouth, “No way, of course you fucking can.”
You take a few photos of her posing with the shirt, “I have 2, please feel free take them both!”
You can only assume one of them is intended for Harry. And even if it’s a little weird of you to take them, you do anyway because the girl was too lovely to even consider denying them.
“Thank you so much.” You chuckle as you hang them over your elbow. She still looks starstruck at the interaction that just occurred and you’re overly excited to edit the photos later on.
In the time of the short interaction, you turned to find Harry. He’s about to transition into she, and is over on the main stage.
You hustle to get yourself up from the floor and onto the stage area. Moving to chuck the shirts on the bench, where most of the bands essentials are for easy access.
Harry sees you over there and you decide to show him the design on the front before you can overthink it.
He’s beginning to sing the intro, and he chuckles the lyrics into the mic as he sees it. And fans around the whole arena scream at the shirt— which you didn’t realise was being displayed on the big screens.
You shake your head, struggling not to admire the tone of his laugh that just echoed around the stadium.
Also blushing a little at the fact you did genuinely just show him a shirt with both of your faces of it, deeming you both as a fans ‘parents’.
You go back to doing your actual job, moving to get a good angle, aiming to blend back into the background as you take more photos for the night.
Capturing the sway and jolts of his tassels as he sings. Getting a few shots that not only capture his energy but also his outfit perfectly.
You smile at yourself and at your work.
And you glance up as Harry joins in with Mitch while he absolutely shreds his guitar solo.
Sweat is beading on Harry’s chest and you’re all too aware how much money people would pay to see it from your angle. Thank god for Barcelona’s heat.
And, fuck, not only is it that. His arms look perfect as well. This outfit is really just showing as much of himself off as possible.
You change the settings on your camera hastily to alter the outcome of these next few shots.
He’d stepped away from the mic, turning to look at the band, mouthing something you couldn’t decipher.
He starts to lean down head getting closer to guitar. His tongue juts out…
Your eyes immediately pull back a little from your camera because, there no fucking way he’s about to let some kind of intrusive thought win here.
Time seems to slow. But not the movement of his tongue. It’s flicking fast, as if to mimic it playing the strings of his guitar. Or something like that anyway, because all you can think of is… well… something too inappropriate to even be entertaining in your head given he’s literally your boss.
You can hear the piercing screams around you, someone in the front shouting what the fuck loud enough you swear someone in the back of the stadium could’ve heard it.
You’re not even aware you bought your camera back up to your face and that you’d clicked the button a few times until it’s done and the moments over.
Harry’s laughing at himself, and Sarah is face palming at his lewd action. His smug smile after solidifies the fact he knows what the fuck he just did. And exactly the kind of effect it’s left on some people.
Just not aware you’re one of them…
Because you can’t deny the way you spent rest of the night with a nagging warmth between your legs. One that festered long after the moment was over.
After the show came to a close and you eventually ended up in your hotel room, freshly showered as you edited some of your favourite photos. Including the shots you’d captured of him and his guitar.
Which were fucking insane. You had just the right amount of contrast going on in them, and a certain degree of motion blur that indicated the movement his tongue was making.
The final product was amazing once you had edited it on photoshop. But you spent the remainder of the night in your hotel room ridiculously worked up. Left in bed toying with your clit lazily as you stared at the celling, acting like you didn’t have a specific person in your thoughts.
It got to the point in the next day where you stressed about what photos to show him. And whether or not that included the one you literally came to the thought of last night?
Usually you wouldn’t hesitate, especially since it looked incredible. But you were embarrassed internally. What would he think, or say? And could you even play off your sheer attraction to the image.
You placed your head in your hands with a groan, sat in the chair over by the window. You’re tired, and swear on your life your decision making is going to be impaired when he walks into your room.
Which you didn’t have much more time to stress much about it as a knock came to your door that you knew was him.
You rushed over to open it, finding him standing there, hair freshly washed and clad in much more clothing then you last saw him in. A plain white shirt and some gym shorts— that still made him look hot as fuck, without even trying?
He greets you with a good morning, voice a tad hoarse from last nights show. And he’s smiling as he hands you a cup, one you know is filled with hot chocolate. Just for you.
“I owe you like 100 hot chocolates for how many you’ve bought me just in this leg of the tour alone.” You laugh, letting him past you.
He glances at the unmade bed— you stopped making it a while after he started to come visit your room the morning after the show to pick which photos he liked best, and ones he also wanted edited. Sometimes he’d settle himself on it, legs crossed like a cute little kid.
“Think of it as a gift for all your talent. And putting up with me.” He chuckles, and plops himself down on the chair that’s opposite to the one you were sitting in.
So you follow suit, walking back over the your chair. Taking a small sip of the sweet liquid in your hands.
“Have any favourites so far?” He asks, taking a quick swig of his own drink— which you can only assume is hot tea.
Yes, you think, the one where you’re about to practically fuck your guitar strings with your tongue.
You substitute that for, “A few! The tassels were so fun to try and capture.”
You rotated the laptop screen to show him a cool shot you edited of him. It was a front on photo, his arms extended and washboard abs in their full fucking glory along with his tattoos.
He nods, a smile coming across his lips, crinkling the corners of his slightly tired eyes.
You showcase him a couple, all that he gives relentless praise on— regardless of if they had been edited or not. But you just want to show him your favourite.
You swallow as you stare at it on the screen of your macbook. Working up the courage to turn the screen to him as he waits cluelessly. Does he even know you took this?
“This one too…” you hesitate a little as you swivel the laptop around on your lap.
“Oh. I like this one a lot.” He says, nodding and then glancing up from the screen to your semi-flushed face.
“Didn’t know you took that.” He chuckles, shrugging and almost seeming… like he has more to say about this situation.
Like something is laying on the tip of his tongue, just waiting to be said.
You think he’s not going to though, after a beat of silence, you nod.
“Yea… what actually are you doing in this photo?” You nervous laugh, and wonder what kind of answer he’s going to provide.
He runs a hand through his curls, brows raised a little at your question.
“What did you think I was doing?” He quizzes, the corner of his mouth turning up.
“I- well it looked quite… everyone in the audience was going wild. Were you trying to be a tease?”
“I wasn’t! I swear. I was playing the guitar.” He confirmed, yet smirking like he knew there was a two-way perception of the event.
“With your tongue?” You sighed out a laugh.
“You still didn’t answer me. What did you think I was doing?” He backtracks, eyes watching you intensely as you’re both entering some rather dangerous, untouched territory.
You’re quiet again, and he raises his brows still expecting a response.
You flush under his gaze, hand coming to cover your eyes. “It just looked very…”
“Very…?”
“Inappropriate.” You laughed, feeling like you were emotionally torturing yourself by letting this situation happen.
“How so?” He continues to push, wanting to hear more. Secretly adoring the way you get all flustered about it. How badly he wants you to tell him exactly what the movement of his tongue reminded you of.
“It just— you know what I mean, Harry!” You say, now being the one trying to backtrack out of this entire situation. That in the end is still technically your own fault.
You distract yourself with other photos, going in and trying to find another possible contender for his new post on instagram.
“Don’t try and avoid the conversation, love.” He chuckles at your sudden shy demeanour.
“Harry.” You place your hand over your face again trying to mentally reset yourself. Put your thinking back in line.
“Cmon! I’m just curious.” He tries to brush it off, but if he has to resort to begging, he honestly wouldn’t hesitate.
“I know you are, but— it’s weird!” You whine, wanting to die at the fact you had let this happen in the first place.
“I promise I won’t judge.” He places his hand over his heart, face serious, like he was swearing it on his bloodline.
You thought about it a little longer. He clearly was not going to leave you alone if he didn’t get an answer. You could try and lie, but he already knows anyway. He just wants to hear you say it.
“You know, Harry. You just want to hear me say it.” You murmur, bringing up the chocolaty drink to your lips to distract yourself.
“Sure, maybe I do. I wanna confirm my suspicions.” He proposes, a small shrug of his shoulders. You place the drink back on the coaster, staring at him. Eventually caving.
“It— everyone definitely thought it looked like you were, uh, giving oral.” You rushed out, trying to now act as nonchalant as possible to avoid further questioning.
I didn’t work.
“So everyone including you?” He asked.
“Well… yea.” Your cheeks were pink, and he smiled at your flustered voice.
“Dirty thing.” He chuckled, and you almost breathed a sigh of relief thinking maybe you could move on and pretend as if this never happened, but he continues on.
“Had you a little worked up, did I?”
“May I touch on how unprofessional this conversation is?” You bring up, trying to save yourself. But it’s evident in your voice you hardly mean it. You are admittedly a little curious as to where he’s going with this. Equally, if not more embarrassed than anything, but still curious.
“I suppose you can, yes.” He nods.
“But may I bring up how you undressing me with your eyes yesterday was unprofessional? Because unless I’m insane, you definitely were.” He’s cocky, and overconfident with his accusation.
Not that it can be really labelled as an accusation, given he’s not wrong at all.
“I—“ you swallow, “Okay. Whatever. Point proven.”
He laughs at your surrender, shuffling forward on the chair.
“So you were— that’s the kind of stuff you were thinking about me?” He rests his elbows on his knees, watching you intently.
“You are really trying to get something out of me aren’t you? What do you want to hear me say?” You raise your brows, adrenaline coursing through you.
“Just want you to tell me the truth. Be honest with me, since we’re talking about being professional. I think that’s a good start.” He sounds so gentle yet firm, and your devouring this dominant kind of trait he’s showing you.
“Communication and honesty is very important when it comes to professionalism.”
Pleasure has been simmering in your stomach since he walked through the door, and his persistence is beginning to pay off, since you’re starting to let your guard down.
“So you want me to tell you how wet I got after your little stunt last night? That if I wasn’t your employee, after the show you would have found me in your dressing room bent over on the table.”
“Waiting for you to come in there, all sweaty and ready to strip that teeny fucking vest off, and put your mouth to use.”
He’s got a dusting of red over his own cheeks now, blood rushing to his cock as he realised he cracked you open now. Your dirty words spilling out of your mouth after holding back seemingly since last night.
“That what you would’ve done? Bent yourself over my dressing room table waiting for me like a pretty little post-show gift?”
“Maybe so.” You feed into it, watching as his eyes darken with desire.
He sighs out, standing up promptly, “Alright, darling. I’m gonna offer you something. You don’t have to agree, but if you do we can stop at any time. Okay?”
“What exactly are you offering?” You ask as leans his tall frame down to you, hands bracketed on your hips.
“For me to pick you up, put you on that bed and strip you until I can bury my head between your legs.” He stated, matter of factly.
Your thighs are shaking so hard you’re clenching them together— clit throbbing at the pressure.
You can only look up at him and nod, to which he doesn’t take as an answer.
“Baby, need you to use your words. Tell me what you want.”
“Yes, Harry. Want that please.” You whine, very quickly becoming delusional at his close proximity.
He grunts as he picks you up, his arms firm around your body and he carry’s you the few feet to the bed. His lips hot as they suddenly come in contact with your jaw.
He pushes your legs open with his thigh, making you moan and push your hips forward.
“Needy girl.” He whispers, voice dirty and hot near your ear as he sucks on the skin below it.
His hands cascade down your body, finding the waistband of your sweatpants and tugging it down.
“Please, please touch me.” You’re wild, bucking your hips up. Wanting to get his tongue on you so bad.
He chuckles at your sudden spiral, how quickly you’ve unravelled before him. Truly like a present, all laid out waiting just for him.
He palms his hand over your damp front, “Soaking through already, fuckin’ hell.”
You groan as he rubs a pressured circle on your fabric-covered clit.
“Want to tell me who got you so wet?” He coos, slowly moving his fingers over you as he waits for an answer.
You give it to him shamelessly, “You. Want you so badly.”
He’s over the moon to finally have you like this. Because it became apparent rather quickly the crush he’d developed on you since you were hired. And he would be lying if he said he hadn’t fucked his fist at the thought of getting to touch you.
“Oh, you’re being so good for me now. Because I’ve got my hand between your pretty legs I bet.”
You cant even respond as he slides your drenched underwear down away from your tingling core.
He audibly groans at the sight of your bare, glistening pussy. Watching as you squirm under his stare.
“Jesus fuck, Y/N. How long have you been hiding this gorgeous cunt from me?”
“Too long.” You whimper.
His fingers slid through you, and he gathered up your arousal to play with your clit. Relishing the way it slides under his fingertips.
You were clenching around nothing as he gently rolled your clit between calloused fingers. Playing with it until you were a mess. Moaning and grinding up against his fingers. Begging for what he’d promised earlier.
“Your mouth, Harry. Need it. Anywhere.”
“S’that why your little hole is clenching so hard? Like it’s begging for me.” He watched, mesmerised as your hole pulsed around nothing, and leaked more clear arousal.
You look so delicious to him. And he took a moment to appreciate the fact you were about to let him clean up all that arousal pooling at your hole
He sunk down between your legs very slowly. Distracting himself a few times with mouthing over your fabric covered breasts.
Eventually making it there, so he could blow over your clit, letting you squirm at the teasing stimulation. You smelt amazing too, your sweet tangy scent making his mouth water.
He was grabbing at his cock, pushing at it trying to relieve pressure down there as he peppered kisses along your inner thigh.
“Stop teasing, H. Please I— fuck.” You hissed as he bit the seam of skin of your thigh.
“Cant handle it huh? Are you gonna come before I even get my tongue on you.”
“Want to finish around your mouth.” You plead with him. And he shakes his head with a laugh, anticipating your reaction as he leans forward to drag a long stroke through your slit.
Your whole body shakes with a moan. His velvety, hot tongue immediately leaving you a wreck.
“Harryyy…” You cry out, bucking your hips into his face.
“Gonna ruin your cunt, darling.” He murmurs into you, and you know it’s true with the way your hole is clenching.
He sucks your clit into his mouth before placing fast strokes over it. Flicking and rolling it between his tongue and lips.
The sounds of him lapping up your pussy are echoing through the room, further fuelling the fire that’s started in you.
Your whole jaw goes lax as he moves further down, gliding over your hole— pushing his tongue past your entrance.
“Fuck!” You moan, hips jolting, causing his hands to slide up and hold them into place.
He slides it into you as far as he can, nose bumping your clit. Making you realise very quickly that you’re going to finish around his mouth.
He moans into you, again the vibrations makes you writhe in his tight grip. “I- Harry- more!”
It’s making your whole body shake, and he’s pressed so far into you that it’s all you can feel. And it’s obvious that you’re about to come, just with the way your cunt is pulsing around his mouth.
“Fuck! Fuckfuckfuck. Harry, please, I’m gonna come!” You felt the burning spark fly through you, hitting you like a truck when his tongue curled and rocked inside you.
He’s humming and pressing himself so close you genuinely think he can’t breathe. And you realise immediately when the rubber band in snapped inside of you.
It gushed through your whole body, making you moan and cry in his grip. He couldn’t even explain the feeling of having you clenching around his tongue. It almost made him finish in his pants.
He lapped up every single drop he could. But he didn’t stop.
Your clit was so sensitive as he came back up to it with the same intensive pace.
You tried to push him off, “be a good girl, baby, give me another one.”
“So sensitive, Harry.” You whined, hand threading into his soft hair.
“Y’can take it.” He states, going back to sucking on your clit, and the outside of your entrance.
It made you a mess. A proper fucking mess.
You legs were being spread wide by the palm of his hands, and you were almost crying at how sensitive your pussy was.
You were always a five-minute-scroll-break kind of girl when it came to masturbation. So this came as a whole shock to your body. And it was so fucking hot from his perspective.
All he could hear was your filthy fucking whines, begging him one minute to stop and the next to go faster. And he was going insane at how sensitive your little hole was.
That was all he could feel. The clenching of your cunt, the absolute shaking mess your body was becoming.
His tongue flicked over your clit, just as you imagined he would after seeing him last night. And it was getting to messy, your arousal absolutely coating his mouth and chin.
“I-“ a deep suck of your clit, “I’m gonna fucking come!”
You writhed the whole way through your orgasm. Fucking into his face like it was a toy, grinding into it so hard your sure he was completely consumed by you.
And as you came down from the high, still shaking, he cleaned up down there again. Too good to waste, was his thought process. ‘You tasted like a dream’ you’re pretty sure you hear him mutter against you at some point.
His thumbs run over the dips of your hips to bring you back down to earth.
“Good girl, Baby. Took my mouth so fucking well.” He presses a final kiss on your clit as he stood up, your hands dragging up his back did.
“Feeling a little better too, i hope.”
“Yes. So good. H.” You panted, still in a bit of a daze.
“Next time,” he peppered a kiss on you shoulder, “tell me when you’re feeling all worked up okay.”
You nodded, hands sliding to rest in his hair.
“Or by all means, lay yourself out in my dressing room so I can make make come like you deserve.” He smiles at your little nod, still so out of it.
“My little gift, hm?” He coos, stroking a gentle hand down your face.
And he knows he’d do this moment a thousand times over with you. Just to see that smile flash over your lips.
———
#harry styles#harry styles imagine#harry styles smut#fanfiction#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fluff#harry styles oneshot#harry styles x reader#harry styles x you#harry styles x y/n#harry styles barcelona#he is so fucking hot I cant#that clip 🧎♀️#smut
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THIS IS YOUR FAULT! || LN4 Ⓢ Ⓦ *Drabble*
SUMMARY: You thought the hardest part of your unplanned pregnancy would be the lack of sleep maybe the nausea but you would've never thought the ridiculous increase in your libido would be what was proving the most challenging. (Lando Norris x Pregnant!Reader)
WARNINGS: ***Smut 18+***
A/N: This drabble is quite short but I am willing to write other parts of this couple if requested ;)
_______________________________
"This is all your stupid stupid fault." You whined as you spoke to your boyfriend on the phone after ranting to him for 10 minutes straight.
You heard him giggle on the other side which only made you angrier. "I'm almost home darling."
He reminded you of the fact he had literally only gone to the store down the street because you were craving some sour candies after Lando had eaten you out for the second time today and it was only 12pm.
"You're a goddamn professional driver for fucks sake it should only take you half a second to speed down the street in your stupid orange car and get back." You continued whining.
You felt like your body was literally screaming for your boyfriend to put his hands on you and relieve you from this need to feel pleasure...again.
"Baby I didn't take the car just to go to the store that is 5 minutes away walking." He laughed again.
"I hate you." you almost cried.
This is what the first months of pregnancy were looking for you, You thought that after being knocked up by your boyfriend by accident during your 2-year anniversary would be enough sex for a while but your body thought otherwise.
It was honestly ridiculous the frequency with which you needed to relieve yourself but you were incredibly thankful for the fact that you got pregnant on the penultimate race of the season and this horny symptom had only shown up after the season ended so you had your boyfriend home most of the time and for a few months.
At first, Lando was concerned with how needy you were even thinking something was wrong but after a visit to your OBGYN where she found his concern funny, she reassured you both that this would be normal and the antidote was pretty self-explanatory.
After this Lando quite enjoyed being so needed and being able to inject you with the medicine needed so often and initially for you it was fun too until it just started getting frustrating.
Yes, Lando had the exact skill set required to pleasure you exactly the way you needed repeatedly and bring you satisfaction rather quickly but the frustrating part was the fact that the satisfaction only lasted an hour or 2 sometimes even less, and sometimes Lando wasn't home to help which had you crying at times because relieving yourself was never nearly enough.
Lando had become such an expert at landing a helping hand that sometimes he would even be in meetings while secretly fingering you who would lay in front of him with your legs spread wide open. Sometimes he would even be eating you out while on a phone call shushing you when he would unmute his phone to keep talking.
"I love you too darling." You would've started crying if Lando hadn't come right through the door after this.
"FINALLY!" You called dramatically. "Eat!" You yelled pointing at your bare pussy where you had laid on the couch.
"With pleasure." Lando laughed setting the bags down.
"WAIT!" You yelled before he could walk forward. "I want my sour gummies." You extended your hand.
Lando could only laugh again at your antics reaching for them in the grocery bag and tossing them to you before finally kneeling down in front of the couch.
"Anything else M'lady." he joked.
"No, now eat." You pointed again in between your legs as you both began eating, you your gummies and Lando you.
#f1#f1 x reader#f1 one shot#f1drabble#f1smut#f1 drivers#f1 smut#lando norris#lando norris x reader#norris#changetyre#f1 imagine#formula 1#f1fic#smut
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Hi! Could you please write a Leighton x r where r has too much to drink and forgets that Leighton is their gf and they are all flirty
My idiot
(Not the biggest fan of this one)
You’ve always been in flirt, ever since high school that was what people knew you as. It wasn’t really intentional, more just your personality and sure, sometimes it was just fun. College started the same way, you flirted here and there on purpose and the rest of the time it was just your personality.
At least until you ended up with Leighton. You didn’t change your personality but you kept it down and never flirted with anyone, but her of course, on purpose. She didn’t expect you to change and she thought it was kinda funny when people thought you were flirting with them right in front of her.
“I’m so hyped for this party” Bella told you four as you stood in their dorm with a shot in hand. All of you cheered as you were just as hyped, it had been way too long since the last one.
“Me too, but she should still drink responsibly” Kimberly said as you immediately refilled the glasses. You knew that she only meant it in a good way and you loved her for that, she was a great friend but you were going to a frat party and that was only possible if you were drunk.
“Kimberly, love, take this and shhh” you smiled kindly as she laughed. She knew you didn’t mean it in a rude way as you gave her a warm smile and she took the shot like you told her to.
“Damn, this queue is way too long” Whitney whined, earning a sigh from Bella before she suddenly gasped. And a gasping Bella was never a good thing, not once.
“I have an idea” she started and carefully looked at Leighton which made you even more weary of the idea. “Leighton, don’t kill me. But y/n should go up there and flirt us in” you could see Kimberly’s breath hitch and yours did too.
“I mean if it’s okay for y/n and he doesn’t touch her” you were surprised but only gave them a nonchalant nod as you were fine with whatever. “Well, go get us in baby” she pressed a couple of kisses to your lips before letting you off.
It didn’t take you longer than 5 minutes to get all of you in. Now you had to make sure that you weren’t going to see him in the house again as that would be more than uncomfortable but at least Leighton didn’t have to stand in the cold air anymore with her short black dress.
“Omg y/n, let’s get shots” Lila said as soon as you walked in which made all of you laugh. You gave her a nod before turning to your group.
“You guys want one too?” As all of them nodded you wandered off with your friend to get them. But you should have known that Lila wasn’t gonna let you off that easily.
“Can we have 10 shots please?” Lila asked the ‘bartender’ who quickly handed them to her.
“The fuck are you gonna do with 10 shots buddy?” You laughed.
“The question isn’t what I’m gonna do with it, the question is what we are gonna do with it. And we are gonna drink 2 each now and then we can go back and you can drink one with your girl” you would have loved to fight her but it would have been useless. So you clicked the cups and downed both of them shortly after another.
“I’m never getting drinks with you again” you laughed as you took the rest of the shots and went to find your group. “Ah, here we are. One for each” you handed out the shots until all of you had one, so you could settle next to Leighton your hand resting on her lower back.
Lila said something inappropriate as a toast and all of you downed the shots. “Why were you guys gone so long?” Your girlfriend asked as she leaned into you.
“Lila made me take two shots right there” you giggled, the alcohol hitting you slightly. You could feel the blondes snort against your body which made you smile wider.
“Leigh, can you wingman me?” Bella asked her once she spotted a dude she liked. You gave her a short nod when she asked if it was okay to leave you for a moment and kissed her before also wandering off.
“Y/n, didn’t think I’d see you here” Caneen greeted you as you nearly ran into you. “Come and be my beer pong partner” he dragged you away before you could say anything.
Once you won the game, you looked around to find your girlfriend send you a look clearly asking for help as somebody kept chewing off her ear. You excused yourself from the game and walked up to her, your hand wrapping around her waist. “Sorry, can I steal my girl really quick?” You didn’t waist for an answer, just pulling her away by her waist. “Jeez, that guy was boring” you whispered into her ear as you pulled her further which made her laugh.
“You’ve only listened to him for a couple of seconds, he was talking for like 10 minutes before you came” she groaned which made you laugh as you finally arrived at a secluded, quieter corner.
“I feel like I haven’t seen you the whole night. You look really hot in that dress” you grinned. Leighton leaned against the wall as your hands caressed her waist, sometimes dipping down a bit.
“Mhm, how hot do I look?” She flirted. You started to kiss her, leading you two to make out for a moment. The alcohol made you more needy as you have barely seen each other the whole time. But it seems like it wasn’t over as there suddenly was a knock on the door.
“Y/n, Caneen is down there about to get in a fight. Come and calm him down, that idiot isn’t listening to me” Lila screamed making you sigh as you had to pull away.
“We are just too popular” you joked to Leighton who also groaned and buried her face in your neck. “I’m coming L” you gave her another kiss before walking downstairs with the other girl. You calmed down the situation as you pulled the man away and promised him more drinking. Stupid decision.
The next thing you really remember was seeing a really really pretty and hot blonde girl dancing with an Indian girl and two other people whose backs were facing you. “Lla, m gna get ‘at grl over there” you slurred pointing to the woman which made your drinking partner gasp.
“You wkd mije such a hot couple” she slurred just as much as you did. You walked off to find the pretty girl and talk to here.
“Hey there” you said with the most charming smile you could muster and you were more than happy to see that she smiled back as she greeted you. “I just wanted to tell you that you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen and that if you’re single I’d love to have your number” she stared at you for a moment deciding whether you were really too drunk to know that she was your girlfriend or if you were kidding.
“Are you being serious?” She asked, her eyes scanning your face as she and Whitney had to hold in their laughs. You gave her a nod as you slightly leaned against Lila who was just as drunk.
“Yeah, I mean I can only imagine that your personality is just as beautiful as you. So can I have your number cause I lost mine” you flirted again, Lila adding a ‘period’ which made Whitney break. She had to take a step back as she laughed.
“I’m sorry but I got a girl, her name is y/n” Leighton said seriously and watched your face fall before it suddenly lit up again.
“My name is y/n” you suddenly exclaimed, a happy look on your face that then fell again. “What’s her last name?”
“Oh it’s Y/l/n” the blonde was actually amazed. How were you so damn drunk?
“Damn she’ll never be as good as this girl bitch. She’s the one” Lila hyped you up as you gave the hot girl a sad smile.
“Well, I wish you all the best” you mumbled and were about to turn before the girl next to you suddenly gasped.
“Oh my god, Y/n that’s your last name. You’re y/n y/l/n” now it was your time to gasp which ultimately made your girlfriend break out in laughter.
“I’m your girlfriend?”
“Yes, yes you are” she couldn’t help but giggle when she saw how big your eyes were as you stared down at her with love.
“Damn I’m lucky, you’re so hot”
“I’m the greatest wingman ever. Now I’m gonna find someone hot, so bye bitches”
Once Lila’s support was gone you had a hard time standing which the blonde seemed to notice as she put her hands on you to support your weight. “Would your heart skip a beat too if we kissed now?” You flirted again, your brows raised a bit as you bit your lip.
She snorted a bit and nodded before hoisting your arm around her so she could walk with you. “Let’s go back” she said, not yet walking as she wanted you to be ready.
“Can I follow you home? My parents told me to follow my dreams” it was hard to make out your slurred words but she still could which made her laugh even more.
“Sure, let’s go” with her arm around yours waist she led you to say goodbye to her roommates before walking out with you.
“Who would have thought that I’d leave the party with the prettiest girl?” You asked, your voice was so genuine that it did in fact make her heart skip a beat. Sure, she knew that you loved her and that you thought she was pretty but the fact that even when you were black out drunk and couldn’t realize who she was, you’d always come to her.
“You’re an idiot” she mumbled with a smile that even showed her teeth. You didn’t hear her as you kept on talking about how pretty she was. Once she finally got you into her dorm she gave you your pjs that you left at hers. As she moved to help you change you suddenly pulled back.
“No! I got a girlfriend! Don’t touch me” you grumbled as your back was turned towards her. Your shirt came off easily but you struggled with the clip of your bra as you just couldn’t coordinate your hands so she stepped closer to do it for you. “Don’t touch me! I’m taken”
“Y/n, baby. It’s me, Leighton?” She immediately heard you sigh happily as you turned your head to look at her, which was followed by a happy smile. Once you have her the okay she opened your bra and helped you put on your top. The moment you were changed you fell into her bed, burying yourself in the pillows and the thick comforter. It didn’t take long for the blonde to join and you clung on to her as soon as possible.
She knew that tomorrow your headache was going to kill you and that you weren’t going to remember most of the night. But the memory of you trying to hit on her because you couldn’t remember that you guys were dating was going to stay forever. And she’s never let you forget it, ever.
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