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#inevitability
mostmagical · 13 days
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Pairing: Stranger/Stranger (Adrinette, but they don't know that) Words: 4k Summary:
“Can I kiss you?” It's costume theme night at the local bar, and Marinette finds herself a bit entranced by a pretty stranger wearing cat ears. She thought she would be content just watching, until Alya suggests she asks for just a little bit more.
Marinette chewed on the edge of her fingernail, trying not to be too obvious as she peered across the bar at the stranger on the corner.
They had met on the dance floor not too long ago, and she had been having trouble looking away ever since. He was attractive, despite the obnoxious cat-eared beanie tight over his blond hair, drawing her towards him in a way she really hadn’t felt in, well, ever. At least, not towards someone she barely knew. Not since the breakup.
The liquid in his delicate cocktail glass was dyed pinker by the spotlight he stood under, so she couldn’t tell if he was actually drinking anything as passion fruit-flavored as the color, or if it was just straight liquor. Her breath caught as he removed his hand from the water-beaded surface, lifting it to adjust the thick-rimmed specs he wore and reminding her of the sparkling green eyes she’d spied earlier.
Blond hair. Green eyes. 
She wondered if it was some cosmic joke that this always happened to her.
Even the cat ears were suspect, but she was trying her best not to acknowledge that.
A hand landed on her arm, and she jumped before realizing it was Alya returning from the bathroom.
“Still staring?” Alya asked. She had forgone her eye glasses that night for the sake of ‘accuracy,’ providing Marinette a clear view of the humor glittering through her friend’s hazel eyes.
Marinette sputtered, readjusting the skewed heart-shaped sunglasses over the bridge of her nose. “Wh– What? Staring? Staring at who– I mean— Staring at what? Because obviously I’m not staring and even if I was I wouldn’t be staring at anyone, certainly not anyone handsome and charming and—”
Alya interrupted Marinette’s spiral with a laugh. “Right, right, right.” She shook her head, the red curls bouncing across her bare shoulders. “You weren’t staring at the guy you danced with earlier, and you haven’t been nervous and jittery ever since. I imagined all of it.”
“Yes.” Marinette nodded sagely. “Thank you, exactly. It was all in your head.”
Alya simply hummed, turning to get the bartender’s attention and ordering the two of them another round. With her friend distracted, Marinette couldn’t help but let her eyes wander again. The stranger was now scrolling through his phone. Oh no. Was he calling a taxi? Checking train schedules? Was he leaving?
Pain blossomed over her thumb and the taste of metal hit her tongue as she bit down just a bit too hard.
“Marinette!” Alya hissed, pulling Marinette’s hand away from her mouth and quickly wrapping it in a cocktail napkin. “What are you doing to yourself? Do you want to get kicked out?”
She was sober enough to feel the embarrassed flush cover her cheeks. “Sorry.”
Alya’s barely concealed eye roll was colored with humor. “You should just go over and talk to him.”
Marinette blinked owlishly. “And say what?”
“Ask him for a kiss.”
“What?!” She knew her shriek was loud enough to disturb the patrons on either side of them at the bar, but all she could hear over the pounding of the bass was the blood roaring in her ears. “Why would I do that?”
Alya just laughed. “Look at you” —she waved a hand at Marinette’s napkin wrapped finger— “biting through your nails because you can’t stop thinking about how hot you are for him.”
“I– I–” Marinette faltered, her mouth feeling like it was stuffed with cotton the more she tried to move it. “I am not.” At Alya’s raised eyebrows, she tried and failed to come up with another reason why not. “I– You know I’m not like that!”
“Normally, yeah,” Alya replied, shrugging, “but there’s nothing wrong with having a little fun, just this once.”
Marinette swallowed.
“And have you ever been so attracted to a stranger in your life?” Alya continued. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this wound up. Not since Adrien, or Luka, or– actually–” She stuck a finger in the air as if the thought had just struck her from above. “No, not Luka; it’s more like with Chat N–”
“Stop stop stop!” Marinette cut her friend off, throwing a hand over her mouth to stop up the words.
Alya licked her palm in objection.
“Ew! Hey!”
“You are so silly, M,” Alya laughed as Marinette pulled her hand away and dramatically wiped it on her shirt. “It’s not weird to have a crush on a superhero.”
Marinette chewed her lip, traces of the watermelon drink she’d had hours ago still tasting in the corner of her mouth. “You know it was more than that.”
A hand patted her shoulder. “Of course I do, but the point still stands.” Alya grinned, as sly as her own superhero persona would imply. “You deserve one night to not care. Treat yourself. You need to cut loose after, well, you know.”
Marinette couldn’t deny that since she had presented it, Alya’s idea was sounding more and more appealing. Though maybe that was the vodka talking. Or the desperation.
“He sure seems like your type after all,” Alya pressed, squinting her eyes as she studied him. “Tall, pretty, charming... blond.”
“Green eyes, too,” Marinette added, despite herself.
“What?” Alya laughed. She reached out a hand, flicking the frame of Marinette’s sunglasses playfully. “You could tell through these bright pink abominations?”
Her face warmed in embarrassment. “I may have, sorta, practiced discerning colors on my posters of Adrien with them before,” she admitted. She lifted her shoulders in a shrug. “His eyes look the same.”
Alya laughed again, full and delighted. “Marinette! Oh, there’s no one like you,” she said, grinning. “Now you really have to do it. I’m convinced it’s fate.”
It did feel almost divine.
Alya squinted once more, and Marinette wished her friend had listened to her when she told her to wear her glasses anyway. “He even kinda looks like—” She cut herself off with a hum, shaking her head. “You deserve to get out there again anyway. It’s been ages and I kinda think you need a rebound.”
Marinette wasn’t sure if she fully agreed with that statement, but she wasn’t exactly in the mood to broach the subject and down the mood.
“What if he laughs in my face?” she asked instead, sticking her lip out in a pout. It was meant to look cute, so maybe Alya wouldn’t push so much, but the fear was very much real. Sure, she and the stranger had had an amazing conversation, and their chemistry had been more intoxicating than her drink, but he was still that— a stranger. There was no telling what might happen if she walked up to him and asked for something so daring as a kiss.
“Marinette, look at me,” Alya said, placing both hands on either of Marinette’s shoulders. “You are hot. You are cool. And he is totally into you.”
Was there any explanation for the way her heart leapt straight out of her chest?
“Into me?” Marinette repeated. “What makes you say that? Are you sure?”
Alya smirked dangerously. “Well, don’t look now, but I may have caught him taking a few glances over here while your back was turned,” she explained.
Marinette, of course, looked. Her head turned at just the precise moment to catch his gaze in her own, and sure enough, the stranger’s jaw momentarily dropped upon making eye contact. He recovered quickly with a sweet smile, raising his glass in a cheers motion from across the bar.
Alya sighed, shaking her head. “Well, at least there’s another sign for you,” she said, amused. Grabbing Marinette’s shoulders again, Alya turned her back around to look at her face-to-face. “See? Repeat after me: I am hot.”
A bit dazed from the encounter, Marinette could do nothing else but exactly what Alya asked. “I am hot,” she repeated.
“I am cool,” Alya continued.
“I am cool.”
“He is into me.”
She choked, the last phrase a little rougher on liftoff than the others. “He is, guh– into me.”
“One more time, all together.”
Marinette closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath. She regretted it, as the smell of sweat and hops stung her nose. But the intake of air managed to ground her, all the same.
“I am hot. I am cool,” she chanted. “He is into me.”
“Yes!” Alya cheered. “Good job!”
The mantra was like a magic spell. Marinette opened her eyes, suddenly energized. Her stomach pitched a little, but it was full with excitement.
“Two cognacs,” the bartender announced, jolting Marinette from her reverie.
“Merci!” Alya picked up a glass, pressing it into Marinette’s hands with cool insistence. “Drink this, and then get over there!”
Marinette obliged, downing the drink in two big swigs. The alcohol no longer burned the back of her throat, settling in her stomach with a pleasant warmness. She replaced the glass on the bar with a firm clink, then sucked in another deep breath, wiping her upper lip with the back of her hand.
“Okay,” she said under her breath, hyping herself up. “Okay!”
“Go!” Alya gave her one more push, spinning Marinette around and pressing the heel of her hands into her shoulder blades. “Your prince charming awaits,” she sang.
Marinette stumbled forward, unsteady from Alya’s shove, but she quickly regained her bearings. Her blood pumped faster in her veins as she approached the other end of the bar. She swore she could feel every fingertip throbbing with her own pulse as she got closer.
Just a little kiss.
Plenty of people did that.
(Although, it wasn’t something she had ever considered doing herself.)
It wasn’t... weird to ask.
And like Alya had said, he was into her. The stranger probably felt the exact same magnetism she had. He would want to kiss her.
Right?
Steeling her nerves, she stood behind him, watching him swirl the liquid around in his glass. His head tilted towards where Alya stood by her lonesome on the other side of the bar, and Marinette’s heart skipped a beat in her chest as she wondered if he might be looking for her.
She smoothed down the synthetic purple wig as best she could, and adjusted the collar of her leather jacket. She almost wished she could dart off to the bathroom for a final appearance check, but she knew she would lose all her built-up confidence if she did. With butterflies brushing the insides of her tummy, she reached out a hand, tapping him twice on the shoulder.
The stranger turned, and she thought she might let herself believe his face really brightened when he saw her.
Nervously, she waved. “Hi.”
“Hey, Clara,” he said in a soft voice, somehow still audible over the loudspeakers. His smile was sweet and reserved. Her throat tightened up. “I was hoping you’d want to talk again.”
Marinette felt like the breath was stolen right out of her lungs. “You– You did?”
A hand reached behind the back of his neck in what must have been a nervous tick— yet another similarity to more than one of the loves of her life, oddly enough. “Yeah, I mean—” Was that a hint of red on his cheeks, or were her glasses fogging up again? “You– Uh, I loved dancing with you.”
The smile pinched her cheeks. “I loved dancing with you, too,” she said. “I had a lot of fun.”
“Wait a second,” Marinette said, her mind finally catching up to the last 60 seconds. “You called me Clara. I didn’t—?”
His mouth twitched into a grin. “Your outfit,” he pointed out. “Inspired by Clara Nightingale, right? From the ‘Heartbreak Disco Baby’ video?”
“You recognize it?”
The stranger’s face seemed to light up, even in the darkness of the bar. “Of course!” Marinette watched agape as his eyes scanned up and down her body, dare she say, appreciatively. “I’ve only watched that video about a million times and this is a perfect recreation.”
Pride swelled in her chest at the praise. “Thank you,” she replied. “I do take my costuming very seriously. My best friend even dressed to look like Sonia Auclair from that video.” She gave her loose hair a flip over her shoulder as she took the moment to seize up his outfit as well. “And you are—”
“Dressed at the very last minute,” he supplied bashfully. “I wasn’t exactly planning to come out, but luckily I had this beanie.”
“It suits you.”
His smile seemed genuine at her compliment. “You really think so?” he laughed, playing with the edge of the material. “Thanks.”
He was adorable. She bit her lip against the rising heat on her face.
“Heartbreak Disco Baby,” he repeated thoughtfully. “That doesn’t mean you’re a little heartbroken, are you?”
Adorable and considerate.
Now or never, she thought.
“Can I kiss you?”
As soon as the words left her mouth, her chest seized up. She said that. Oh god. She really said that.
The stranger’s face blazed a delightful shade of red, and Marinette wondered if they would match or clash were someone to compare the two of them. “Sorry,” he coughed. “I think I might have misheard you?”
She could run away. Back out right now, and save herself the mortification. Unfortunately, a flash of movement on the other side of the bar caught her attention, and she was met by Alya fluttering her fingers across the way. Marinette forced down a swallow.
“I asked to kiss you,” she repeated clearly.
When he only continued to stare at her, face crimson and eyes wide, Marinette slipped dangerously close to panic mode.
“Forget it!” she practically screeched. “You don’t have to do that—” She cut herself off with an awkward laugh. “I just— whew! Is it hot in here? I just— My friend over there told me I need to cut loose, and she told me to just go for it because I, well, I mean you’re very pretty— and we had chemistry…? Oh god, I said that— I mean, no, I stand by that, we do—” She covered her mouth, eyes wide in horror over her spew. “I swear I haven’t had that much to drink,” she admitted, rubbing her temples. “Sorry, I’ll go.”
“Okay.”
Marinette froze, slowly drawing her gaze away from the floor and back to the stranger’s face. “What?”
He rubbed the back of his neck again, the redness of his face having faded to a lovely pink that blended with the colored shades of her glasses. “Okay,” he said again. “I’ll kiss you.”
“You- You– uh. . .” Words didn’t seem to want to come to her rescue.
Luckily, the stranger did. He eased off away from the bar, facing her fully as he took her limp hand in his. With a gentle tug, he guided her to step closer towards him. “Is this okay?” he asked, his warm tone sending her heart fluttering.
She nodded almost too vigorously before she finally managed to rouse her tongue. “Yes, yes, it’s okay.”
This close, she could smell his cologne, a cluster of warm linens and nutmeg that sent a pang of recognition down her spine. His chest was firm and radiated a comfortable warmth that Marinette felt she could fold into. She followed his eyes as they dropped down to her mouth and back up again. Goosebumps raised over her skin as his hand glided up her arm, his face an image of patience. Until it changed to panic.
“Wait, oh no,” he gasped. “You’re not–”
“What?” She tilted her head in confusion, not really sure where this reaction had come from.
His mouth was a worried line. “Have you been drinking?” he asked. “Because I’m sober, and I don’t want to be taking advantage of you–”
Marinette cut him off with a snort. “I promise you, I am completely of sound mind, when I do this.”
Riding the sudden wave of confidence, Marinette mirrored his earlier movements, allowing her hand to trail up his arm and over his neck, warm skin beneath her fingertips. As she gently cupped his cheek with her palm, she pressed up on her tiptoes, rocking forward to sear her lips to his.
His breath fanned her mouth as he gasped into it, truthfully without a hint of the taste of alcohol, and his lips were pleasantly warm and plush against hers. She found herself quickly sinking into it, especially as a hand landed on her lower back and held her steady. Her other hand dove into the hair at the back of his neck, teasing the soft strands in rhythm with the glide of their kiss.
It was more than sparks and explosions and fire— all things she never expected she would feel while kissing a complete stranger.
She couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something achingly familiar— comfortable, her mind supplied— about the pressure of his mouth on hers, and the little hums she could feel vibrating over her skin. Despite herself, she cracked open her eyes and studied his face as he continued to kiss her.
Green eyes. Blond hair. Cat ears, puns, those lips. Her heart almost seemed to stop as she realized she knew exactly why the sensation was so familiar. She had felt this kiss before. It could only be Chat Noir, she realized, warmth flowing between her shoulder blades.
She pulled away, just a centimeter to breathe between them. “Mon Chaton?”
He blinked open dazed eyes, blinking at her as if waking up from a dream. “Chaton?” he repeated. His eyes widened. “My Lady?” His voice was breathier than she was used to hearing it, and it sent a thrill up her spine.
“It’s you.” She almost wanted to laugh. “No wonder we fit so well together.”
It only took a few seconds for her partner to recover from his dreamlike state. He grinned his cat-like grin. “We’ve always been the purrfect team, after all.”
“Oh my god,” Marinette groaned, pressing her lips to his once more to shut him up. However, his mouth remained shockingly slack against hers. She pulled back. “What’s wrong?”
Seemingly dumbfounded, he replied, “You kissed me again.”
Oh god. Oh, god. He didn’t want to kiss her now that he knew. She was such an idiot.
“I’m so sorry.” Hastily, she tried to push away from his chest, only for him to grab her wrists and prevent her escape.
“Wait, no. I just–” His mouth worked wordlessly, endless green eyes searching her own. “Are you sure you want to be kissing me? What about—”
“Adrikins!”
Marinette froze in place, the familiar voice sending a chill up her spine— one that was cold and bruising, rather than warm and thrilling tingles that her partner had sent up and down her back all night.
Her hands went limp, still caught in Chat Noir’s hold, as the spray-tanned arms of Chloé Bourgeois wound around his neck.
Chloé, dressed in a flowing gown that did not at all match the whimsical costumes in the bar, immediately launched into complaints, current company left unnoticed, or rather ignored. “Thank god, I finally found you,” she cooed. “I can’t believe you left me there with that cousin of yours and Tsurugi. Ugh.”
A pained expression flashed Marinette’s way before her partner turned his head to meet Chloé’s powder blue eyes. “You had Zoé, too, didn’t you?” he asked her.
“Ugh, you know I would rather it be just us two.”
Marinette was rooted to the spot. It felt as though her brain was misfiring in about a billion directions. And yet, somehow all those directions ended at the exact same destination: the stranger before her.
A stranger, she was realizing, that was not so strange after all.
In fact, this was probably a person she knew better than she ever thought she had.
Because if she added everything she knew up, carried the two, and multiplied by three, well...
It seemed like Chat Noir was Adrien Agreste and the two (three...?) loves of her life were actually just one.
Nervous green eyes peeked at Marinette, as if to check that she was still there. The redirection of his— Adrien’s, oh god— attention finally drew Chloé’s eyes east, and if Marinette thought she could make it out of this easily, she was quickly corrected when an appalled groan filled the air.
“Dupain-Cheng?” Chloé stuck her nose up in the air, somehow glaring at Marinette through only the corner of her eye. “What are you doing with her? I thought you two broke up.”
“It’s complicated,” Marinette said, at the same time Adrien burst out “Marinette?”
She took one look at his face before immediately casting her eyes away again, an angry red blush overtaking her cheeks.
What the hell what the hell what the hell.
She found herself almost wishing for an akuma alert to save her. Except, no. No, she didn’t, she realized, because she would still have the same man right there with her.
“Marinette?” Adrien repeated again, voice sounding almost far away, even in a room where her ears were already blocked from the loud music.
Shyly, she met his pleading eyes, pushing her sunglasses back up and onto the top of her head. His jaw all but dropped open as he watched her, recognition flitting through his eyes.
They were quite the pair, weren’t they? Marinette could have laughed. A pair of glasses and neither realized that they were talking to their own ex. And the fact that she had recognized Chat Noir’s kiss, but not Adrien’s... No. Nope. Not going to unpack that.
Chloé glanced between them, a look between disgusted and bored plastered across her face. “What’s with that reaction?” she asked. “Listen, if you’re getting back with this weirdo, I–”
“Chloé!”
Marinette had no idea where Alya had appeared from, but she had never been so happy to see her best friend throw an arm over the other girl’s shoulder. Chloé physically recoiled under Alya’s touch, attempting to lean away, but to no avail.
“Césaire,” she grunted.
Alya grinned, unbothered by the less-than-enthusiastic response. “Oh my god, it really is you! I could barely tell; forgot my glasses, silly me. How’ve you been?” she asked. “I want to hear all about the new campaign.” Over her shoulder, she threw Marinette a wink.
The realization that Alya was providing her a way out burst across Marinette’s skin. In a flash, she had wrapped her hand around Adrien’s wrist, bodily dragging him through the crowd and away from their classmates. He came along willingly, only slowing down to dodge around drunk patrons that stepped between them.
Eventually they found themselves comfortably alone in a quiet hallway leading to the bathrooms. The hallway was much brighter than the main floor, illuminating all of Adrien’s features in a way that she couldn’t believe she had missed before. Marinette looked up at him in question, squeezing his wrist tight between her fingers. “When did you get back?” she asked, too desperate for the answer to pretend like she wasn’t.
He looked worried. “Just tonight. I– I wasn’t sure if you wanted to see me.”
“Of course I did,” she murmured. She realized she had said it too quietly to be heard over the speakers when Adrien kept going.
“Everyone was asking questions.” He pressed a hand against his forehead, twisting her heart with it. “And just talking so much about my dad and England and... I don’t know. I– I had to get out.”
Her breath caught. She began running her hand up and down his arm to try and soothe him, saying, “I know, kitty, I know.”
“Zoé mentioned you and that’s when I realized I had to make a break for it.” He ducked his head shyly. “I should have figured I’d run right towards you.”
Marinette huffed out a laugh, her earlier conversation with Alya about fate and divinity seeming oh so relevant now. She let her hands rest on both his cheeks. “Yeah, seems like we’ll always be in each other’s orbit, doesn’t it?” she asked. “I just can’t seem to ever let you go.”
His eyes went shiny, and she wondered if he was about to cry. “Do you really mean that?” he asked, covering her hands with his own.
Her shoulders dropped with the tension she had been carrying. “Of course I do,” she replied, running her thumbs over the dark circles beneath his eyes. “I’m sorry about that night. I just didn’t want you to leave and I didn’t know how to say it.”
“I didn’t want to leave either,” he said with a watery smile. “Are you disappointed you didn’t get to kiss a stranger?”
She used her thumb to brush one errant tear away from his eye. “Considering I’d rather be kissing you, anyway?” she teased. “No, I’m not disappointed at all.”
His mouth twisted into a wry grin. “Not even about...?” He glanced back and forth down the hallway, as if checking for any listeners, only to look back at her with just an eyebrow waggle to voice his concerns.
Marinette giggled again. “Come here, kitty.” With a gentle tug, she guided his face down to hers, kissing him all over again.
If you enjoyed, consider dropping a kudos or comment on Ao3! <3
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squishyhooman · 7 months
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“Change is inevitable like the seasons…I suggest you embrace it.”
~ Dr. Donald “Ducky” Mallard, NCIS
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stoicmike · 7 months
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That your life will be difficult is a given — the question is, how difficult would you like it to be? -- Michael Lipsey
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macrolit · 1 year
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The more you reach after the fatal flower of happiness, which trembles so blue and lovely in a crevice just beyond your grasp, the more fearfully you become aware of the ghastly and awful gulf of the precipice below you, into which you will inevitably plunge, as into the bottomless pit, if you reach any farther.
The Fox, D.H. Lawrence
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Franny Choi, Introduction To Quantum Theory
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sublimedevastation · 3 months
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A pearl forms when a parasite enters the oyster’s shell. The oyster secretes a layer around the irritant in order to protect itself, and slowly this secretion becomes layer after iridescent layer. Beauty blossoms around pain. If that process is interrupted, the pearl is incomplete. Tolerating the irritant, accommodating it, allowing it to remain in place, transforms it into something magnificent. If the oyster’s shell is clamped shut, nothing precious is created. Being open to the world is frightening, but along the way miracles happen. Sometimes we’re attracted to things that torment us. We create passion and drama around longing, uneasiness, and a hunger for love and approval. When we pretend that we’re not irritated and that nothing bothers us, when we refuse to recognize our pain and our grief, we can’t grow or expand beyond our previous limits. Acknowledging that love is sometimes impermanent and things get lost along the way and death is inevitable: these brave reckonings help us to turn our pain into something more beautiful.
-Heather Havrilesky
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poligraf · 5 months
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We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the hateful words and actions of the bad people but for the appalling silence of the good people. Human progress never rolls in on wheels of inevitability; it comes through the tireless efforts of men willing to be co-workers with God, and without this hard work, time itself becomes an ally of the forces of social stagnation. We must use time creatively, in the knowledge that the time is always ripe to do right.
— Martin Luther King, Jr.
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toexistwithin · 10 months
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sygol · 9 months
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* rustles in the brush *
OwO
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justthoughts03 · 6 months
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You know everytime we speak we're just one step closer to goodbye...
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feralstemgirl · 6 months
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choices, inevitability, and the roads already taken
"people think they make choices, they think they're gonna steer left or right, but they didn't build the roads. the big choices already got made for them, a long time ago" // "all this was prepared for me. all this was set in motion long ago. i am living in someone else's future." // "this was always going to happen. she's been dead since the beginning," // "everything is more beautiful because we're doomed. you will never be lovelier than you are now. we will never be here again." // "i wrote my epitaph at fourteen years old / i think i spoke the future into existence" // "no salvation and no turning of the tide. that's not the point anymore. we were here. " // "you are writing the story and yet you cannot change it," // "is this how it is? / is this how it's always been?" // "I'm beginning to feel as though everything has happened before, that our story has already been told... this is a ghost story." // "every road leads to rome," // "the first and most oppressive lie ever uttered was the song of freedom," //
brennan lee mulligan "the unsleeping city - dimension 20" // richard siken, "the worm king's lullaby" // aeschylus, the orestaeia // Troy // unknown // @soracities // mine // florence and the machine, "free," // helen humphries the lost garden // proverb // loki 1.01 "glorious purpose," //
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howifeltabouthim · 10 months
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When we love people, they seem different from all the people that we don't love, but everyone is the same. Everyone is made of the same stuff, and everyone reaches the same conclusion.
Catherine Lacey, from Biography of X
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justanechoflower · 9 months
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SF: I am incapable of being happy right now.
And you? You’re going to die.
Wether Chara kills you or I do, you’re going to die.
So, how about you make it more interesting and fight for your life? Take other people’s to ensure the foodchain revolves around you.
Make a story about your sad, failed existence before it gets snuffed out by the likes of people you so despise.
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I'm outmatched by at least one person out for my blood for either choice I make, so what's fighting back going to do? I'm going to die no matter what?
I can fairly fight Chara, but any other threat here I stand no chance... It's annoying.
Next ->
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corvianbard · 9 months
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Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle.
Martin Luther King Jr.
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punkpinkpower · 11 months
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When you've been depressed your whole life, suicide feels like an inevitability.
You do the things people tell you to do. You take vitamins and medications and go to years and years of therapy and try to get better. And sometimes it does get better, for little periods of time.
Even in those little happy moments, you still catch yourself staring out the window and resigning yourself to the fact that you don't want to die right now, but you will again soon. Good times don't last and the depression comes back.
And you do the stuff people say. And you think about killing yourself. And you keep doing the things to try to get better. And you hit new lows and you get the cops sent to your door when you try to tell someone that you just don't know how to go on like this. That you're just so tired and you don't see another ending.
Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow or next week. Maybe not for another 10 years. But when you spend 90% of your life in a deep, dark, pit, only seeing the sun every once in a while and never knowing anything else, it's hard not to feel like the story is already written, like the ending is coming, one day, someday, soon or maybe not, when you finally break and hit the limit, if something else doesn't get you first.
And you go back to doing the things people say and waiting for the sunshine for now, because between now and the inevitable you just keep filling the time. Like your trying to prove you tried. You gave it your best shot. Before the inevitable happened.
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pommatre · 1 year
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Have an outing with the pony tomorrow morning, time to head to the barn and see what she could have possibly injured in the few hours til 😶
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