Rosie: Hey, where’s that person I introduced you to?
Alastor: We had an argument. Theyre in the garden.
Rosie: I was just out there but I didn’t see them.
Alastor: Dig deeper.
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Angel: Careful, if you keep being so sweet to me people will start to think you’re in love with me.
Husk: What could I have ever possibly done to make you think that I’m not?
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Charlie: I think we're missing something.
Angel Dust: Teamwork?
Vaggie: Cohesion?
Alastor: A general sense of what we're doing?
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Alastor: Name ONE THING white people can cook better than black people.
Angel: Meth. The answer is definitely meth.
Alastor: . . .
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I’m coping <2
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baby charlie: [crying]
lilith: [drowsily] it’s your turn
lucifer: hm? oh yeah sure
lucifer: [starts crying with her]
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Charlie: Why does my dad call you babygirl?
Alastor: Perhaps we should stop talking
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Vox: You dont have to be a dick about this.
Alastor: I think we both know that's not true.
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Husk: Angel just insisted Sir Pentious and I remember a code word in case we’re ever confronted by their clone or a cyborg doppelgänger and we’re not sure which is the real them and which is the imposter.
Husk: Some families have a fire escape plan, but not us.
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Husk: I'm peeling those sour gummy strips into long strings and putting them in energy drinks to make something I am going to call "battery acid spaghetti." Will return soon with the results.
Husk, later: Don't do this.
Alastor: At what point did that sound like a good idea?
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Angel Dust (to Husk): One universe, nine planets, seven seas, seven continents, and I had the unfortunate luck of meeting you.
Charlie Morningstar: Hey, that’s not very nice-
Vaggie: There are only eight planets, you uncultured swine!
Angel Dust (forgetting about Husk): VIVA LA PLUTO, FUCK YOU!
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Alastor: Last year, I married my best friend.
Charlie: Aww!
Alastor: Lucifer is still mad about it, but Rosie and I were drunk and thought it was funny.
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Lucifer: Why did the hunter hit Alastor?
Lucifer: Because he was aiming deerectly at him! *wheeez*
Alastor: *standing behind him, ready to make Charlie an orphan*
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*the next time Pentious and Cherri see each other*
Pentious: would you like.. to go.. on a date with me..?
Cherri: HA! Why the fuck would I go on a date with you?
Pentious: because... *camera pans out* I'M GOING ON A DATE WITH EVERYONE!
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