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nonoel-28 · 8 months

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Ichigo, walking into his room: Hello, people who do not live here.

Renji: Hey.

Rangiku: Hi.

Yumichika: Hello.

Ikkaku: Hey!

Toshiro: *nods head in greeting*

Ichigo: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!

Rukia: We were out of Doritos.

#incorrect quotes #incorrect bleach quotes #bleach incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes bleach #bleach #bleach anime #bleach manga #anime manga #ichigo kurosaki #renji abarai #yumichika ayasegawa #ikkaku madarame #rangiku matsumoto #toshiro hitsugaya #rukia kuchiki #soul reapers #soul society #shinigami #renruki

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iamumbra195 · 9 months

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Random Incorrect Quotes and Vibes from the Bleach AU I will probably never write (Rukia is killed by Aizen and them in the SS arc)

----

Ichigo: *feral teenager with slightly cat-like tendencies because of his hollow*

Shinji:

Sakanade in his head: M I N E

...

Shinji: *explaining the inner hollow and everything that happened with Aizen and how they trained their hollows*

Ichigo: *a nerd who likes literarture and knows exactly what werewolves are*

Ichigo: Can I say something--

Shinji: *has questioned his reality more than once because of this kid’s weird questions* NO--

...

Ichigo: *goes to his inner world to see why the fuck Shiro is constantly screaming in his ear*

Shiro: *leaning over his body omniously with his big smile because he has been seperated from Ichigo for so long and this is the first time they’ve interacted without Old Man Zangetsu getting in the way so he’s happy*

Ichigo: wtfwtfwtf--

...

Shiro: *a feral tiny cat that likes to fight too much*

Sakanade: *a feral big cat the puts him in air jail*

Benihime: *the sadistic instigator*

....

Karin: *snooping through Ichigo’s room because she’s worried and finds Rukia’s asauchi*

Karin: *touching Rukia’s sword after Ichigo told her what happened and feeling a weird jolt or reiatsuand urge to keep it*

Ichigo: *who felt the reiatsu* ...

Karin:...

Karin: I have been CHOSEN--

Ichigo: NO--

...

Ichigo: What do you have there?

Karin: A Zanpakuto!

Ichigo: NO!

...

Karin: *facing a hollow while Ichigo was at the SS and losing*

Kangetsu (her Zanpakuto): cAN YoU hEAr mE?

...

Hitsugaya: *looks vaguely like her Zanpakuto spirit*

Karin: *softly* Holy shit

...

Ichigo: Goodnight moon.

Ichigo: Goodnight tree. Ichigo: Goodnight ghosts that only I can see.

...

Karin: Is stabbing someone immoral?

Isshin: *Joking* Not if they consent to it

Ichigo: *Serious* Depends on who you’re stabbing

Yuzu: *the one sane non-soul reaper in the family* YES?!

...

Ichigo: *walking into his room* Hello people who do not live here

Renji: Hey

Ikkaku: Hi

Yumichika: Hello

Rangiku: Hey!

Ichigo: You’re only supposed to come here for emergencies!

Renji: We were out of Doritos *they’re on a mission, he’s just fucking with him*

...

Orihime: I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name hime?

Ishida: *scared of snakes* You did WHAT--

Ichigo: William Snakespeare

...

Renji: *while they were going to save Rukia* This is such a bad idea

Ichigo: Then why are you coming along?

Renji: One of us needs to be able to talk the Gotei out of arresting us when this goes wrong

...

Ichigo: Do you think I can fit fifteen marshmallows in my mouth?

Ishida: You’re a hazard to society

Renji: And a coward. Do twenty

...

Orihime: If I were a drink, I’d be a strawberry vanilla coke. If you were a drink, what would you be?

Ichigo: Bleach (PUN FULLY INTENDED XD)

Keigo: *he found out ichigo and Chad didn’t fail like him* Sewage

Orihime: *concern*

Tatsuki: Calm down edgelords

...

Okay, that’s it

Some of these were canon, some of these were just random shit from my fic that i might never write

#bleach #incorrect bleach quotes #ichigo kurosaki #hollow ichigo #renji abarai #shinji hirako #karin kurosaki #isshin kurosaki #yuzu kurosaki #uryu ishida #orihime inoue #kisuke urahara #asano keigo #tatsuki arisawa #soul reapers #gotei 13 #crack

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crispybonkeggllama · 8 months

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Urahara: Kurosaki-san, are you alright?

Ichigo: I wanna crack someone's skull open.

Urahara: *slowly blinks* uh huh?..

Ichigo: *the calmest stare he ever made*

Urahara, now mildly terrified: Oh, please forgive me, I was just thinking what possibly could get you into this mood-

Ichigo: Don't worry, I won't hurt you.

Urahara:

Ichigo:

Urahara: that sounds even worse

#bleach #ichigo kurosaki #kisuke urahara #urahara kisuke #uraichi #ichigo #bleach headcanons #ichigo is terrifying actually #incorrect bleach #kurosaki ichigo #incorrect bleach quotes #incorrect quotes

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turnbackthependulum · 11 months

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Aizen, to the Espadas: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone.

Grimmjow: But mine just says, "Grimmjow, no."

Aizen: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

#💀#incorrect bleach #incorrect bleach quotes #las noches au #espada #sousuke aizen #aizen #grimmjow jaegerjaquez #incorrect quotes

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fluffykitkat · 11 months

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Izuru: Hey, can we stay in your room tonight?

Momo: Hey Of course but Why?

Izuru: *sigh* Shuhei fiddled with an ouija board and cursed ours pretty bad.

Rukia: Renji doesn't know how to banish spirits, so he’s just throwing around salt at them and yelling "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A HOTEL TO YOU?!"

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laughing-moonlight · 4 months

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Love: From now on we will be using code names

Love: You will address me as Eagle 1

Love: Lisa, you're Been There Done That

Love: Rose, you're Currently Doing That

Love & Rose: *both high-five*

Love: Shinji? It Happened Once In A Dream

Love: *pauses* A...really shitty dream actually

Shinji: Oh fuck you!

Love: Mashiro's If I Had To Pick A Chick

Lisa: Wow

Love: Hiyori? Hachi? You're Eagle 2 and Eagle 3

Hiyori & Hachi: *simultaneously* Oh thank god

Kensei: Um...what the fuck is happening here?

Love: And I'd Be Lying If I Said I Hadn't Thought About It has entered the building!

Ichigo: This place is actually a nightmare

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bluemglory · 2 months

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#incorrect bleach quotes #bleach #momo hinamori #bleach momo #bleach shinji #shinji hirako #bleach incorrect quotes

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yarrayora · 9 months

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the most important headcanon i have about soul society is that they don't know what gay people are according to modern day society

ichigo could be like "do you guys not know what being gay is?" and renji and rukia would shake their heads and ichigo is like "it's when dudes are into their fellow dudes"

renji makes a face "nobody does that anymore since the last three centuries"

rukia "yeah, because active duty shinigami are no longer allowed to take in apprentices."

ichigo "what the HELL are you guys talking about"

rukia "what are YOU talking about?! i thought you said the warrior class died down in the human world!"

ichigo "man I forgot you guys are old as fuck of COURSE you're homophobic"

renji "wait, say that again."

ichigo "you guys are homophobic"

renji "yeah i don't know what that word means"

ichigo "you guys don't have a word for hating gay people???"

renji "what the FUCK why do YOU have a word for that???"

#bleach #kurosaki ichigo #ichigo kurosaki #abarai renji #renji abarai #kuchiki rukia #rukia kuchiki #incorrect bleach quotes

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m3kuroshirt · 1 year

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Ichigo: I just watched Mr. Urahara, a grown-ass man, say, "Oh this will be very efficient," and spray febreze right at the ceiling fan, and have it blow back directly in his face.

Grimmjow: Yeah, he did that yesterday too.

#bleach #incorrect bleach quotes #text post #kurosaki ichigo #jeagerjaquez grimmjow #s: tumblr

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oathime · 11 months

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renji: ur meal, captain

byakuya: this is raw

renji: yeah it goes hard right

byakuya: no i mean the chef needs to cook it more

renji: on god let him cook

byakuya: what is wrong with you

#bleach #incorrect bleach #renji abarai #byakuya kuchiki #incorrect bleach quotes

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saltysatellite804 · 8 months

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TYBW Aizen: I've only been allies with Kurosaki Ichigo for half a day, but if anything happened to him I'm killing everyone here and then myself

#bleach #incorrect bleach quotes #sosuke aizen

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nonoel-28 · 8 months

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Uryuu: Everyone synchronise your watches.

Orihime: I don't know how to do that.

Chad: I don't wear a watch.

Ichigo: Time is a construct.

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bigweebenergy · 1 year

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Rukia: This is my boyfriend, Ichigo, and that's Ichigo's boyfriend, Grimmjow.

Byakuya: I don't get it

Rukia: Ichigo and I are dating and Ichigo is also dating Grimmjow and I hate Grimmjow and Grimmjow hates me. It's not that complicated.

#ichiruki #grimmichi #I ship both of these ships so much for very different reasons #rukia kuchiki #ichigo kurosaki #grimmjow jeagerjaques #bleach #incorrect bleach quotes #been rewatching bleach so I can see the new season so this is my first original post in like a year loool #bleach byakuya #byakuya kuchiki

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the-port-mafia · 2 years

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Ichigo: These two bicker like an old married couple

Ukitake: We ARE an old-married couple!

Kyoraku: WHO ARE YOU CALLING OLD?!

#bleach #incorrect bleach quotes #incorrect bleach #ichigo #jushiro ukitake #shunsui kyoraku #source: unknown

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turnbackthependulum · 6 months

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Kisuke: Wow, great work on the Halloween decorations, Mayuri! Where did you get the fake skeletons? Mayuri: Fake? Kisuke: Kisuke, freaking out: EHHHHHH

#BLEACH #incorrect bleach #incorrect bleach quotes #mayuri kurotsuchi #kisuke urahara #halloween 2023

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fluffykitkat · 10 months

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Momo: You're smiling izuru. What happened?

Izuru: What? Can't I smile just because I feel like it?

Shuhei : answer to that No. Renji tripped and fell down the stairs today.

Rangiku: it was hilarious *high fives izuru*

Nanao: well you pushed him downstairs rangiku.

Rangiku: Details details *waves her hand*

Ikkaku: did he die tho? Hope he did

Renji: I AM HERE YOU IDIOT-

#bleach scenarios #bleach headcanons #incorrect bleach quotes #renji abarai #izuru kira #momo hinamori #shuhei hisagi #rangiku matsumoto #ikkaku madarame #nanao ise #bleach renji #bleach characters #bleach brave souls

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