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radiantmists · 5 months

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so murderbot assumes that three offered its armor because it doesn't understand that the armor can belong to it and thinks mb taking the armor is just good resource allocation.

but if it assumes it doesnt have control over the armor, it would probably let whoever it sees as in charge (maybe ART?) handle it, or at least make the suggestion directly to that person. even newly freed in NE, it's willing to give its security advice (on hostage situations being undesirable) even if it doesn't expect to be taken seriously. it doesn't make sense to me that it would have so much trouble expressing the offer if it were just a security suggestion.

and then i think about how murderbot says later in the book that even if three felt fondly toward its fellow SecUnits, the govmod would prevent it from expressing that care or knowing it was returned.

so-- imagine you're three, and you havent yet internalized that you can just say "i care about you and dont want you to get hurt" to another SecUnit; but you can make sure that it has every resource it might need; you could probably do that even before the govmod was hacked.

you can't explain why, but you can hope that the gesture is explanation enough, and you can look for similar caretaking gestures in return; things like being given code and advice to do your job better, and being reassured when you express that you're finding said job difficult.

i think *murderbot* isn't aware of this language of care, because it hasnt had much opportunity to bond with other constructs. but three probably is, and probably knows how to read between the lines and guess that murderbot is starting to care about it, too.

#system collapse #system collapse spoilers #murderbot spoilers #the murderbot diaries #secunit three #maybe this is obvious #but i just got really caught on that bit abt 3 not being able to know if its feelings were returned #bc on the one hand its a really heartbreaking example of how fucked up the governor module is #but it also feels like a bit too much of an absolute #if mb could write a hack of the govmod surely three + its fellows could do a few unnecessary but kind things for each other #its just that they could never *confirm*#still hellish but not the total isolation mb seems to imagine #murderbot diaries

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cock-holliday · 2 months

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It’s not at all surprising that cisfeminists try to push people out of conversations about reproductive care but it’s bizarre as fuck for trans people to do it. Like, I do not know how to express to you that this topic affects like 99% of trans (and adjacent) people.

Obviously (apparently not obvious to many of you) trans and not-cis or not-dyadic people who have or had (at least some of) the organs that allow you to carry a pregnancy are affected by it. It’s YOUR parts. Everyone who can get pregnant is affected. Everyone who could have an abortion is affected. Everyone who has to worry about birth control for THEIR specific own protection is affected. Everyone who has to get a pap smear is affected. It’s regulation about THAT healthcare, about THOSE parts, about accessing care for YOUR body.

Likewise, the ability and responsibility to bear children is placed on ALL women. Every woman who cannot, will not, or won’t become pregnant has their womanhood challenged. It doesn’t matter if it’s a physical impossibility (infertility AND choice to remove ability AND never having the ability to begin with) or a personal choice despite the ability—if you identify with womanhood, a large piece of the narrative is equating that role with baby-carrier. Which exists both in larger misogynistic society and as a point of pride among cisfeminists.

It’s a feminist issue for how we need to destroy the way society forces a role, it’s a feminist issue on the grounds of bodily autonomy. So just about everyone, regardless of AGAB, is affected in some way.

It does no good to forget (accidentally or intentionally) the trans people whose bodies are being policed in medicine, nor pretend those whose bodies are being policed by societal role are “being brought up for no reason.”

Of all the genders; trans man, trans woman, cis woman, and identities adjacent and between—none escape this scrutiny and it is a topic that affects all of us.

The only role that it affects less is ‘cis man,’ and even then only so far. Either cis man is an identity that one may not hold permanently in which case the previously cis man is brought into the above categories, OR it’s a role that should be brought into the conversation more because of personal responsibility to the above groups. If we are to actually shift sole responsibility for pregnancy from the one who can get pregnant to also encompass those who can get people pregnant (expanding birth control responsibility, financial and parental responsibility, etc) we have to recognize that no body or identity is absent from this conversation, even if one identity is a silent presence over it all.

#LJsm #while I think cis man is a category most unlike the rest #I still don’t even think THAT identity should be in a total us vs them #both because of how cis men are not solely responsible for this bullshit #but also because of the potential essentialism #by isolating the identity away from the rest of us #it makes it hard for previously cis men to come over to our side as an ‘ex-enemy’#but also reinforces either that cis men are biologically bad or socialized bad #and both create thought patterns that are used to police trans people within community #aka ‘cis men are the enemy’ isn’t less of a foundation of radfem bullshit than ‘men are the enemy’

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razberrypuck · 6 months

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I think what's driving me insane about this specific arc for qcharlie is watching him slowly become more and more horrified at what's going on with the infection. he keeps brushing it off, and saying he's just going to let it run its course, and that if he has to change to be happy and to keep the people he loves safe, he'll be whatever he HAS to be.

but over the course of this stream, he's become increasingly aware and afraid of what's happening to him. his memory goes fuzzy when his body glitches out. he noticed the infection had spread even more, on his own, and quietly said "oh no." he spoke to maximus about the infection, and jumped from being relatively open about it to scrambling to change the subject when baghera asked what they were talking aboug. he started freaking out when all the glitching and the binary spread to the very land he lived on, and struggled to calm himself down.

and I think, after talking to maximus, he's realizing how much worse his infection is, even if maxo and etoiles have had theirs longer. I think, in the back of his mind, he KNOWS what's happening to him is codeflippa's fault, and that thought scares him more than the infection itself.

denial is something that charlie is very good at. but he's at the end of his rope. he has been for a long time. so I wonder how much more he can withstand before all of this just breaks him.

#he CANNOT catch a break #he CANNOT take a breather #first it was marriage problems; self-hatred; the death of his daughter; months of total isolation; falling into agonizing numbness #FINALLY starting to heal; having all of that progress ripped away from him #and now he has to witness the horror of losing HIMSELF too.#i promise you. he cant take much more of this.#qsmp #qsmp charlie slimecicle #qsmp charlie #qsmp slimecicle

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sinlizards · 1 year

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Time to live alone, it's time to live alone You did, oh, but you did what you had to

#zero escape #Sigma Klim #akane kurashiki #VLR #virtue's last reward #vlr spoilers #zero escape spoilers #my art #fan art #2023 #undescribed #listening to weights by ee while drawing this was a mistake im going 2 throw up and die #anyways vlr akanei love you alive girl lets go lets carry the burden of humanity in near total isolation #lets go become a vessel for fate itself !!!!!

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tritoch · 2 months

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wild to me to see posts like "wow everything in the tempest is named after shakespeare...emet you melodramatic bitch you sure loved theater". because the prospero-emet thing gets played up so hard in the english script and you can carry it so far!

like prospero is an asshole magician who, after being deposed by his brother as duke of milan, settles himself and his daughter on a remote island, enslaves the local spirits using his magic, and bitterly plots to reclaim his past glories. he rules through violence and deceit, and only survives and is reconciled when his plots reach their fruition and his brother is taken to his remote island and plots ensue and everyone decides he was totally right all along and they were huge dicks to him and they're sooooo sorry and he gets to go back and be duke again wow! and it's okay because he's like "i was only doing mean magic to get my rightful spot back and now i'm giving it up because magic is evil. :)"

the tempest is what emet wants his life to be. prospero is not a villain in the text of the tempest. he is barely treated as antagonistic by the text and framing of the play itself. all his abuses, his neglect and control of his daughter, his enslavement of caliban and ariel (local spirits/monsters/people of the island), his deception and plots against his brother, his abuse of magical powers (not awesome, from the pov of the contemporary audience), all that ultimately gets swept aside in the rightness of his return to milan and the warm feeling of the world being set to rights. prospero can't undo the years he spent on the island but they are ultimately a blip in his life before he returns to the rightful state of affairs. his abuse and enslavement of caliban, easily the worst thing he does in the play, is totally set aside when caliban goes "wow now i see how truly benevolent my master is. i love him and see the ways of christian good and i'm so, so appreciative he chose not to kill or beat me even though he totally could have and would have been in the right. he's so just and intelligent." everyone loves and forgives him and they all agree both his management of the island and his ultimate return are so good and so wise and so right.

emet comparing himself to the tempest (or being compared to it, depending on how you want to read the diegetic status of the place names) is absolute wishcasting. it is an attempt to manifest the happy ending he will never, ever get because his sins cannot and would not be forgiven in the way he wants. he wants to imagine himself as the righteous returned duke whose crimes, including the enslavement, abuse, and exploitation of those he saw as his rightful inferiors, were totally worth it, i promise. and if emet is prospero, the warrior of light is his caliban.

#emet-selch #ffxiv #hades #shadowbringers spoilers #like by the time you get to the end you've already spoken to the amaurotine shades and hythlodaeus in particular #it's incredibly clear that even if emet's plans come to fruition he is *utterly alien to the world he is trying to restore*#and like prospero is restored in the end. but his wife is still dead. miranda grew up isolated and alone.#also to take a somewhat more jaundiced view #the things he did to caliban and to ariel can never be undone. that stain is with him forever.#and i mean even IF you can just yank all those souls right out of zodiark and fix the whole thing #there's still everyone who died before the first sacrifice and after the second. also THE VOID IS THE VOID.#'yeah uh we'll just fix that. when zodiark is up and running properly.'#sure dude i totally believe your expertise on the problem you caused by not knowing enough. you definitely know enough now.#anyways he can't waver for even a moment bc it means acknowledging he has betrayed everything he ever claimed to believe in due to his grie #he is in blood stepped so far etc. if i can be allowed to mix my shakespeares #emet-selch more like emet-sunk cost fallacy

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zxal · 1 year

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boychild of destiny

#kingdom hearts #kh #kingdom hearts dark road #khdr #xehanort #young xehanort #player kh #casts beam of transgenderification on your tragic villain #aka xehanort goes to scala and learns about gender roles. what do you mean not everyone is like my parent what do you mean by Boy #when you grow up in total isolation and your only context is secondhand memories -#- from someone who doesnt really ascribe to that stuff to begin with #and then you meet other people for the first time and realize that they see you a certain way that you have no control over #and you don't even know if it's what you want or not. you didn't know you had to choose #playernort may be gone but genderfluid xehanort is forever. FOREVER #also not to be the 'loki was genderfluid' guy but--- (i am taken out by a sniper)#my art #kh art

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kirby-the-gorb · 9 months

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#kirby #daily kirby #my art #digital #hal laboratory #nintendo #bad news lads (gender neutral) turns out I just don't like camping #we'd already set it up so I would only stay one night because I knew I'd probably need to go home early for one reason or another #so it's nbd #but it turns out camping is kinda pointless if you're with literally any other people at all #I could see the appeal if it was literally me alone and like not even my partners or anything #but we were in a group of like. 20 people. 1/3rd children.#but even without all the extra people if it's not like Total Isolation it's like.#I could still go spend all day in the woods and just also sleep in a bed after yknow?#it only loses you like 10 minutes of tree-time depending where you are #and like I kind like being inside a tent! it's cozy! but I could just. sleep in a room. with a tv and a microwave.#idk bro it's not for me #even without sleeping in the mud and being woken up for a guard shift in the middle of the night.#even if the children had not been there.#and I wonder if it's like a ~toughness~ thing for some people but like.#come on man.#(I know it is also often a lot cheaper especially for big families than other vacation accommodations)#(at least after the upfront investment on gear)#(which like that's fair! but it's not an applicable concern for me!)#(it's not a big enough difference that we could afford one and not the other as a family of 3 adults)

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luciusspriggss · 9 months

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"the sadness/intense emotions this movie made me as being a man/woman . . . "

"going in as a trans person and acknowledging the experience of understanding both . . . "

me:

#lmaaaoooo #the total isolation i feel relating to allan more than anyone else #barbie movie #barbie and ken #allan #michael cera #nonbinary #transgender #cis #queer #barbie

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lookingforcactus · 7 months

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btw I know a lot of people didn't like it but with "We tried your approach," Siuan did kind of have a point!

Like, obviously there are extenuating circumstances. Like the fact that, when Rand left, they (I think????) had no idea that he would still urgently be needed because they didn't yet realize what had actually happened

Also, the fact that Moiraine is a mess who WISHES she had something as strong as duct tape to hold herself together (or would, if she knew what duct tape was)

but like... as soon as Moiraine realized what had really happened, arguably, in terms of the big picture, she ABSOLUTELY should've gone to Siuan about it

She thinks the fate of the world requires her protecting Rand, and she's having a giant crisis about the fact that she doesn't think she can do that (especially alone and without the One Power)

And....yeah, I do think that as soon as Moiraine realized she probably couldn't protect Rand - or even that they were fucked and she needed to FIND him - she should've gone to someone with the power to actually help her about it

Tactically, she SHOULD have availed herself of the massive resources that were 1) Lan's help, and 2) the much more massive resource of the Amyrlin Seaet being her co-conspiritor

But she didn't. Because she was emotionally compromised.

Her reasons for not doing that are understandable. Clearly, her response when in this much pain is to lock everything down and trust no one and give nothing away, which, like, fucking relatable tbh

But tactically, letting herself indulge that, and continue indulging it for so long, esp when she had to go on the run with Rand and wasn't sure she could protect him? That was a mistake

She could've probably got Siuan's help setting them up somewhere hidden for training boot camp (though it seems like the show is saying they maybe need a male magic user to train Rand??? but not sure), and actually used some of those six months getting him trained

But she didn't. And now Lanfear has got Rand, and just about all the cards, too

Siuan obviously didn't handle things perfectly either. But she was also right, at least about this part of things

#wheel of time #wot show spoilers #wot season 2 #wot s2 spoilers #moiraine damodred #moiraine x siuan #siuan sanche #rand al'thor #lanfear #moiraine's fatal flaw is her need to isolate herself when things are at their worst #and Rand totally has/is developing the same #and I think a lot of this season #esp in the second half #is about the repercussions of that #of them both isolating themselves when they need help the most

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satans-knitwear · 1 year

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The Tshirt Ever.

My links

#Oh i am in the WORST mood now #My fuckin eyemakeup will not survive this afternoon at this rate #(its sith inspired btw 😎)#I am so sad i feel like im going to throw up even more than usual and i feel so isolated. Totally self inflicted. Ill work on it.#Anywhore!!!! Check out my super beautiful and amazing and perfect tshirt #I got maul on me #Satans knitwear #Im gonna be wearing this a lot. I can tell you that now.#Lingerie reveal #bi girl #cheeky #wlw

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stevethehairington · 11 months

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okay no but the way every single person got their happy ending in that except for ted like.... bro

#like sure he has henry but like. thats ALL he seems to have yknow?#he made all of these meaningful connections and then he just.... left #the longer i think about the more sad i get :/#he really completely and totally isolated himself #ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers

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total-drama-brainrot · 9 days

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Saw this somewhere and wanted to throw it your way, sorry if you’ve been asked this before but what do you think of the concept of Noah always having been an assistant (even before the first season)/never playing as a contestant would look like?

The thing about Noah as a contestant is that he's, for all intents and purposes, kind of useless. And by that I mean Noah as a character isn't important to the plot at all in the grand scheme of things. He's barely important from an episodic point of view either; Noah does very little throughout Total Drama in terms of story relevance, and just in general. (Lazy king 👑.)

So taking him out of the equation wouldn't really affect too much in the grand scheme of things, save for probably preventing his friendship with Owen and, from a fanon standpoint, the rest of team E-scope. He'd be pretty much the same person, just behind the camera instead of on it.

But that's kind of a boring answer, and not at all what you were looking for, right?

So, let's say that Noah lands himself a job working as the personal assistant for some hot-shot A-list celebrity through one of his many siblings' various contacts; is it nepotism? Probably. But who's Noah to look a gift horse in the mouth? A fairly easy job following some pretentious asshole around all day and grabbing him the occasional coffee sounds like a pretty sweet gig, especially with the salary and various benefits that come with the job description. So Noah takes the job without question.

And that's how he finds himself stuck in the middle of nowhere, Muskoka, on an undisclosed island owned by said A-lister whilst he films the first season of his new Reality TV show, Total Drama Island.

Being Chris' personal assistant was supposed to be an easy pay check. "Supposed to be" being the point of interest there; Noah didn't anticipate Chris being as sadistic or as childishly needy as he was. If he wasn't running around like a headless chicken trying to accommodate for Chris' oftentimes outlandish whims and fancies, he was stuck answering to the producers in the host's stead- and the producers were pissed with Chris more often than not for his frivolous use of the show's budget. Something about having a genius level IQ and enough snark to make grown men cry apparently made him qualified enough to deal with the industry big-wigs. Noah was far too overworked to question it.

So much for an easy pay check.

Noah's not bad at his job by any means. In his professional opinion, the whole show and Chris' career would be in the dumps without his personal input keeping everything afloat. That doesn't mean he doesn't loathe his job with every sleep-deprived inch of his being.

And, inevitably, Noah ends up spending a lot of time around the campers themselves. Mostly as a consequence of always having to remain "on set" so to speak, since Noah's pretty much contractually obligated to linger around Chris' vicinity and wait for his boss to assign him some menial task to do. Most of the campers are just as egocentric and insufferable as he'd first assumed- and honestly, what else would he expect from people who singed up for a Reality TV show?- but a select few turn out to be decent company; namely Owen and Eva (and Izzy, but Noah refuses to admit that the "Psycho Hose Beast" is actually bearable to be around).

He'd even go so far as to claim they were friends good acquaintances.

Of course, his job takes precedent over frivolous things like relationships, platonic or otherwise, so Noah doesn't exactly have the free time to hang out with them. Which is probably for the best considering if he did spend a lot of time around his friends acquaintances, the other contestants would have a solid enough foundation for accusations of foul play in the competition, and that's a headache Noah really doesn't want to deal with.

Consequently, Noah floats through the filming of Island, and later on Action, maintaining cordiality with his little group and cold indifference towards pretty much the rest of the cast. Not that he doesn't keep close tabs on the campers; of course he does, not only is Noah incredibly observant by nature, but he's also the one in charge of accommodating for these weirdos... plus, Chris is oddly invested in his "prize cast of ratings jewels", whatever that means. So Noah knows these people, probably more than some of them know themselves, thanks to a combined sixteen-ish weeks of observation and forced proximity.

In turn, the competitors know of Noah, though for the most part he's regarded as little more than a spectre on set- Chris' elusive personal assistant who the cast will occasionally see the barest glimpse of, usually hidden behind an impassive pair of mirrored sunglasses and, more often than not, rushing off to do whatever it is a PA does. Chris does get a little lazy in Action and on a few occasions does get Noah to make a "guest appearances" on screen- mostly just to deliver him a coffee and a gluten free muffin during the downtime of that day's challenge- but he's still practically non-existent to he majority of the cast.

Which is fine by him.

What isn't fine by him is the surprise addition of two people he knows nothing about, come the third season.

One of those contestants happens to know a lot about the cast, and a concerning amount of information about him. It's uncanny, just how much Sierra seems to know about everyone around her, even more so because of the way she practically worships the ground they walk on. Sure, Noah's encountered the odd super fan here and there- not fans of himself, of course, but in this time as Chris' assistant he's had to chase off more than enough rabid fans from trying to sneak their way onto the set of whatever show Chris was working on (or more accurately sic the on-scene security on them)- but Sierra's brand of crazy takes it to a whole new level. Noah doesn't like her on principle and is both incredibly vindicated and incredibly concerned when her stalkerish behaviour rears its ugly head. Not that he's allowed to do anything about it; the producers are adamant that Sierra's outlandish behaviour is entertaining enough for the audience to ignore the immorality, and given how much Chris has been allowed tog et away with in the past Noah's inclined to begrudgingly agree.

And the other new contestant? The one who qualified for the apparently non-existent Total Drama Dirtbags (and Noah totally isn't salty about that show being an elaborate ruse that he spent countless sleepless nights working on)? Noah's just as concerned about his friends acquaintances ignorance to Alejandro's inherent sliminess as he is about Sierra's blatant disregard for others' privacy, but again it's not like he can do anything about it. He's not even supposed to be on the show, so any sort of interference would be a big no-no.

Oh, what's that? They want him on the show?

Fuck.

Turns out, Noah's brief appearances during Action (characterised by his usual level of sass and snide comments) really resonated with their audience; they like him for some inexplicable reason, and want to see more of "Noah, Chris McLean's mysterious personal assistant".

So he's pretty much forced into acting as a co-host of sorts, much like Chef had done for the first two seasons, all whilst carrying out his usual tasks. Is he happy about this? Not a chance in hell, and he lets the producers know exactly how he feels about the sudden change in his contract. Not that it changes anything.

And the best part? World Tour is a musical themed season. If they expect him to sing, they've got another thing coming.

But, as a small part of him chimes in, spending more time on camera would give Noah plenty of opportunities to spend time with his friends acquaintances. There's a non-zero chance that he could have fun, even if it's at the expense of his valued privacy.

His new status as part of the show does allow Noah some opportunities to skew the competition in the favour of his friends acquaint- no, screw it, his friends. That's one silver lining of the whole situation.

Better yet, he can tilt things out of Alejandro's favour, since the former Dirtbag seems to have a knack for manipulating the competition anyway- Noah might as well make things more challenging for him, as it seems this game is too easy for him thus far.

#that's just my take on it i guess #in short: noah's a tad bit more isolated and a lot more vindictive. mostly against the producers though.#i imagine a noah who didn't sign up for total drama would value his anonymity a lot more. THIS noah isn't looking for fame or notoriety.#he's just looking for Cash Money.#as such being forced into the limelight would make him grumpier than usual.#he spends the majority of world tour trying to get alejandro eliminated because he's the producer's favourite. no other reason.#al the while being as unhelpful and outright antagonistic as possible as a “co-host”.#mostly to make himself as unmarketable and unlikable as possible so the audience don't want him to stay around.#ironically this only makes him more popular. noah hates it.#he also spends the majority of world tour trying to prevent sierra from leaking people's private information to varied results.#noah's a voice of reason in a cacophony of screaming. no matter how loud he shouts he'll never be heard.#can't decide whether i want him and blaineley to team up post-merge or for them to be enemies on sight.#total drama #td noah #assistant noah au #others' ideas #silly ideas #ophe's ranting in the tags again #long post #replies #kinda drafty in here (posts from the drafts)

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lilyblisslys · 7 months

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question for other transfemmes, how do you feel listening to lesbian/wlw pop music? Thinking like Boy Genius, Hayley Kiyoko, Chappell Roan, etc.

other examples bc apparently not everyone is dating someone who loves sad softpop would be like, Scene Queen, Phoebe Bridgers, Lucy Dacus, uhh I think mitski is bi(?)

#I wanna like it but I get major impostor syndrome #like I am not the kind of girl yr talking about fucking and I know it lol #like I’m totally outside all of this subject matter #which feels isolating as all hell #trans

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scintillyyy · 2 months

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can i say something that might be a bit controversial idk.

listen as much as i'm aware of and appreciate how much more to kon there is than just the plot thread of him being a clone of clark and lex & i do find it annoying that dc harps on that as his main struggle ever since the john's retcon-

i also do think that if dc editorial at the time (the 90s) hadn't been so insistent on the whole 'there can only be one last son of krypton and it's clark kent' thing, kon would have been a clone of clark from the very start/it would have been revealed he was actually a clone of clark a lot sooner than it was.

#like a lot of 90s super comics there's this huge undercurrent of well they want more kryptonians #but editorial mandate says there can only be one so they got creative with how these guys are totally not kryptonians #(but they're definitely kryptonians.)#actually the whole last son of krypton thing also lends to so much of how isolated kon's story in the 90s is #and why clark seemingly doesn't pay too much attention to this kid wearing his colors who is getting exploited to hell and back #anyways idrc about the lex aspect of the cloning thing it's just i think clark definitely would have been if they could've

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commsroom · 1 year

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to me, the question of whether hera would want a body is first and foremost a question of autonomy and ability. she has an internal self-image, i think it's meaningful that the most pivotal moments in her character arc take place in spaces where she can be perceived the way she perceives herself and interact with others in a (relatively) equal and physical capacity, and that's worth considering. but i don't think it's about how she looks, or even who she is - and i think she's the same person either way; she's equally human without a body, and having a body wouldn't make her lived experience as an AI magically disappear - so much as it's about how she would want to live.

like most things with hera, i'm looking at this through a dual lens of disability and transness, both perspectives from which the body - and particularly disconnect from the body - is a concern. the body as the mechanism by which she's able to interact with the world; understanding her physical isolation as a product of her disability, the body as a disability aid. the body as it relates to disability, in constant negotiation. the body as an expression of medical transition, of self-determination, of choice. as a statement of how she wants to be seen, how she wants to navigate the world, and at the same time reckoning with the inevitable gap between an idealized self-image and a lived reality, especially after a long time spent believing that self-image could never be visible to anyone else.

it's critical to me that it should never imply hera's disability is 'fixed' by having a body, only that it enables her to interact with the world in ways she otherwise couldn't. her fears about returning to earth are about safety and ability; the form she exists in dictates the life she's allowed to lead and has allowed people to invade her privacy and make choices for her. dysphoria and disability both contribute to disembodiment - in an increasingly digitized world, the type of alienation that feels like your life can only exist in a virtual space... maybe there's something about the concept of AI embodiment, in particular as it relates to hera, that appeals to me because of what it challenges about what makes a 'real woman.' when it's about perception, about how others see her and how she might observe / be impacted by how she's treated differently, even subconsciously. it's about feeling more present in her life and interfacing with the world. but it's not in itself a becoming; it doesn't change how she's been shaped by her history or who she is as a person.

i think it comes back to the 'big picture' as a central antagonistic force in wolf 359, and how - in that context, in this story - it adds a weight to this hypothetical choice. hera is everywhere, and she's never really anywhere. she's got access to more knowledge than most people could imagine, but it's all theoretical or highly situational; she doesn't have the same life experiences as her peers. she has the capacity to understand that 'big picture' better than most people, but whatever greater portion of the universe she understands is nothing next to infinity and meaningless without connection and context. it's interesting to me that hera is one of the most self-focused and introspective people on the show. her loyalties and decisions are absolute, personal, emotionally driven. she's lonely; she always feels physically away from the others. she misremembers herself sitting at the table with the rest of the crew. she imagines what the ocean is like. there's nothing to say that hera having a body is the only solution for that, but i like what it represents, and i honestly believe it'd make her happier than the alternatives. if there's something to a symbolically narrowed focus that allows for a more solid sense of self... that maybe the way to make something of such a big, big universe is to find a tiny portion of it that's yours and hold onto it tight.

#wolf 359 #w359 #hera wolf 359 #idk. processing something. as always i have more to say but it's impossible to communicate all at once #it's a meaningful idea to me and i think there's a LOT more that can be done with it thematically than just. the assumption of normalcy #so much of hera's existence is about feeling trapped and that's only going to get worse on earth and within these two contexts #that's something i really feel for. especially with. mmm.#i don't like the idea that who hera is is tied to the way she exists because it seems to weirdly reinforce her own misconception #that there can never be another life for her.#and all of these things are specific to hera and to the themes of wolf 359 and NOT about AI characters in general #in other stories there are other considerations.#the best argument i can make against it is that she says getting visuals from one place is weird and she doesn't like it. but that's #a totally different situation where it's a further limitation of her ability without a trade off. it's a different consideration i think #when it allows her more freedom. to go somewhere and be completely alone by herself. to feel like she has more control and more privacy #to be able to hug her friends. or feel the rain. it would be one thing if she felt content existing 'differently'#but she... doesn't. canonically she doesn't. and i think that has to be taken into account.#i think you can tell a meaningful and positive story about disability without giving her physical form on earth too #but i think it has to be considered that those are limitations for her and that the way she exists feels isolating to her.#idk. a lot of the suggestions people come up with feel like they're coming from a place of compromise that i don't think is necessary #there are plenty of ways that having a body would be difficult for hera and i guess it's hopeful to me to think #maybe she'd still find it worth it.

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