I finished reading 4 books from Earth's Children series. The last three were really hard to read. After finishing Plains of Passage, I have come to really appreciate Clan of the Cave Bear as a standalone. I miss all the Neanderthals and Ayla's character arc. Gotta do some fanart!

PS. I MISS IZA! Best character in the series.

Before the Devil Breaks You (The Diviners #3), by Libba Bray

Publish Date:  October 3, 2017 Published by: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers Length: 546 Genre: YA Paranormal/Historical Fiction My Rating: ★☆☆☆☆ (1 out of 5 stars)

Synopsis:

New York City. 1927. Lights are bright. Jazz is king. Parties are wild. And the dead are coming...

After battling a supernatural sleeping sickness that claimed two of their own, the Diviners have had enough lies. They're more determined than ever to uncover the mystery behind their extraordinary powers, even as they face off against an all-new terror. Out on Ward's Island, far from the city's bustle, sits a mental hospital haunted by the lost souls of people long forgotten--ghosts who have unusual and dangerous ties to the man in the stovepipe hat, also known as the King of Crows. With terrible accounts of murder and possession flooding in from all over and New York City on the verge of panic, the Diviners must band together and brave the sinister ghosts invading the asylum, a fight that will bring them face-to-face with the King of Crows. But as the explosive secrets of the past come to light, loyalties and friendships will be tested, love will hang in the balance, and the Diviners will question all that they've ever known. All the while, malevolent forces gather from every corner in a battle for the very soul of a nation--a fight that could claim the Diviners themselves.

My Review:

I don't even know where to begin this review. I feel like I don't understand what happened with this book? I loved the first two. They were breathtaking and wonderful and full of gorgeous characters, a setting that drew me back in time, and a plotline that gave me the best kind of chills. This one? This one just failed. Utterly failed. For a long time I considered Libba Bray to be my favorite author, but this book disappointed me so much that I don't know if I can anymore. What started as a spine-chilling paranormal historical story full of wonderfully diverse characters dealing with a multitude of problems, both emotional and physical, became what can only be described as a hot mess in this installment of the series. And not even the good, Evie O’Neill type of hot mess. Just, a mess.

What happened to the characters I fell in love with? It felt like they completely disappeared in this book. They were all trying to take the lead at the same time and instead of standing out, became lost in one another until it seemed like they barely existed as people at all, but rather caricatures of themselves. It honestly felt like Bray was just rehashing singular traits of these characters that had already been established in the first two novels, and rather than expanding on them and giving them growth, they all just felt very stagnant throughout the story. Or they would have a small moment, only for things to move quickly on before any true growth or resolution was shown despite the need for one. What irked me the most was how the perspectives would shift so quickly and often, literally within the same paragraph at times. It was like getting whiplash trying to keep straight whose feelings I was reading about. This translated horribly into the larger story arcs as well. Very often a plot point would pick up - Mabel and the Secret Six, Theta and Roy, Jericho at Hopeful Harbor - and the book would spend a little bit of time dealing with that, only for it to suddenly switch gear, drop it for multiple chapters (re: hundreds of pages), then to finally bring it back up again much, much later. This led to these story arcs (and consequently the characters) losing their momentum and my interest. I don’t understand why they weren’t intertwined more throughout the book as in the previous books, which balanced both the personal lives of these characters and the over-arcing plotline so well in comparison to this one. And the rest of the plot? A mish-mosh that felt like it was all over the place and completely tedious all at once. I wanted to like this book but I just couldn’t. I can’t tell you how many times I read a line or two and thought “Am I reading a rough draft?” Honestly, sometimes it didn’t even feel like more than a rough outline. Character emotions would pop on and off at random moments. They would do things that seemed to skip important movements in between. Descriptions were just sorely lacking. The first time I started this book (and yes, it took me two tries to get through it), I thought that I was unable to deal with it because it was 1. The early stages of a pandemic and 2. Filled with a lot of recaps of the books I had just reread. I thought it was just me. But it wasn’t. It took me almost four months to finish it the second time around, and only because I forced myself to do so because I wanted to know how this series ended and what became of my beloved characters. All I ended up wanting to do was cry. And not because of the actual story. Just how it was written. I never thought I would ever give Libba Bray a one star review, but sadly, this book just cannot earn anything above that from me. NOTE: The following is a more in-depth look at several plot points that I just want to rant about, and will therefore place under a spoiler alert. [SPOILERS BELOW]

We will start with Mabel, since she is the first character who felt like she had the beginnings of a story arc going on in this book. Mabel Rose, what happened? Again, here I thought she was going to be one of the main focuses of the book (such as with Henry and Ling in Lair of Dreams), but sadly her story just bookended the rest of the plots. But what annoyed me the most, was how botched her character became towards the end. She kept going on and on about “believing in people being good at heart” as if suddenly she had been blind to everything else? And don’t get me started on her believing herself to be in love with Arthur - she was in love with the idea of him loving her, because otherwise when they had sex, she would have been thinking of him, and not how she had beat Evie to something for the first time. (Speaking of, what was with EVERYONE having sex seemingly all at the same time? Was this some weird Sense8 thing?) In conjunction with that, we had Sam and Evie getting it on at the end as well. Now, this is one to unpack. Because let’s see - first, they were on the outs and fighting. Then, Evie was making the moves on Jericho again (and him on her). And things seemed to be actually heating up there (not that I cared). BUT, Jericho got all beefed up both physically and paranormally and suddenly became a raging neanderthal who ALMOST RAPED EVIE and they had one small conversation after he came back to his senses that didn’t really resolve anything, she left feeling conflicted, and then slept with Sam because he was “real” with her. *blinks hard* So are we supposed to ignore the fact that Evie wanted Sam to give everything to her while she still had unresolved and conflicted feelings for Jericho? Or did she make up her mind about him and we just missed that? Look, I love Sam and I thought it should have been him and Evie from the get-go (but not without some long-term dancing around each other), but not like this. It just felt...wrong. (I still hate Jericho. He’s dull. And he’s a philosophy nerd. It seems to explain a lot.)

AND ANOTHER THING! What the hell was the retconning about Sam and the circus?? It was mentioned like three times in this book? But never before that? All of a sudden he's a trapeze artist? What is even the point?  Finally, the other story arc that annoyed me was the Roy one. Mostly it was how it ended - Theta goes full Phoenix on his ass (and I was so ready for her to give him his comeuppance), only to be stopped at the last minute by Memphis who gives her a mini speech about “stopping you for you” so that she doesn’t feel guilt in the future (not that she should after what Roy did). Seems like a good time for some quality character development right? Well, after Roy runs away after screaming “I’ll get you for this” like a Scooby-Doo villain, Theta just smiles and kisses Memphis as if the credits are already rolling. No breakdown, no talking things through, no reassurances - nothing. Just, move on - next storyline please. [END SPOILERS]

The man on your left is Percy Fawcett - archaeologist and world famous explorer, known best for his adventurous lifestyle and his mysterious disappearance in 1925. His life and disappearance served as an inspiration for many characters, books and film. Indiana Jones was modeled after him. 

The man on your right is Dr. John Hemming who says Fawcett can go fuck himself. 

Percy Fawcett was a British geographer and explorer best known for his disappearance in 1925 while searching for an ancient lost city he commonly referred to as 'Z'.

Fawcett was a former lieutenant and captain of an artillery, joined the Royal Geographical Society to study surveying and mapmaking, and worked for the British Secret Service in North Africa. He served for the War Office as a Major. He was also friends with writer Sir Arthur Conan Doyle who you may know as the creator of Sherlock Holmes. Fawcett served as an inspiration for Doyle's book, "The Lost World".

The timeline for his disappearance: 

1925: Fawcett sets out for his last known expedition to find the lost city of Z. He left specific instructions stating that if the expedition (that consisted of himself, his son, and his son’s friend) did not return, NO rescue expedition should be sent.  (This request was later ignored as various rescue/recover expeditions were conducted for years to come; the first in 1927 and the most recent in 2003)

On April 20th, 1925 - His final expedition departed from Cuiabá, Brazil. It's a geographical centre of South America. His group was joined by 2 Brazilian laborers, 2 horses, 8 mules, and a pair of dogs.

On May 29th, 1925 - He sends out his last communication from the expedition in the form of a letter to his wife. He wrote that he was ready to go into unexplored territory with only Jack (his son) and Raleigh (his son's friend). He sent this letter out from a major camp he created called Dead Horse Camp. Here's one problem: He sent out two letters from this camp - and in both letters he wrote different coordinates as to where his location was. To his wife, he gave the coordinates: (11°43′S 54°35′W) and to The North American Newspaper Alliance he gave the coordinates (13°43′S 54°35′W). Here’s a satellite image of what that would look like. 

Nobody knows what happened to him and his crew after that.

The Theories:

Naturally, tons of theories were created after his disappearance. 

His fellow explorer buddy (and then later, war hero) Henry Costin - who had joined Fawcett on expeditions before - theorized that he succumbed to starvation or exhaustion. He claimed he had good relations with the natives and seriously doubts they killed him.

The Villas-Bôas / Kalapalos Tribe Murder Theories -

Orlando Villas-Bôas, a Brazilian pioneer for indigenous activism (who I’d also recommend reading about), received skeletal bones that were alleged to have been Fawcett and had them analysed scientifically. Apparently, the 'murderer' of Fawcett explained to him that the trio lost the gifts they were to bring to the native tribes in the river. Continuing without gifts was a serious breach of protocol, they did so anyways, and the two younger men were thrown into the river during an encounter with the Kalapalo tribe while Fawcett (being older) was given a proper burial.

 A Kalapalo chief called Comatzi told his people how the unwelcome strangers were killed.

 Comatzi's predecessor, Kalapalos Chief Izarari, had told them he had killed Fawcett and his son Jack, by shooting them with arrows after Fawcett attacked him and his people when they refused to give him guides and porters to take him to their Chavante enemies. Raleigh had died from fever before they trio had reached the Kalapalos.

 A slightly different variation was told by Villas-Bôas, stating that Chief Izarari told him that he had killed all three white men with his club the morning after Jack allegedly consorted with one of his wives. He also claimed that Percy Fawcett had slapped him in the face after the chief refused his demand for canoes and porters to continue his journey.

The Kalapalo also have an oral story of the arrival of three explorers: The three went east, and after five days the Kalapalo noticed that the group no longer made camp fires. They were killed by a violent neighboring tribe.

Later, scientific analysis determined the bones given to Villas-Bôas weren't Fawcett. A Kalapalo elder in an interview in the 1990s also denied that the bones were Fawcett's and that the tribe had nothing to do with his disappearance. Who the bones belong to, and where the remains of Fawcett and his crew are, remain a mystery to this day.

Some of the other theories: 

One theory, based on Fawcett's private letters, suggested that Fawcett never intended to return to Britain. Instead, he meant to found a commune in the jungle based on theosophical principles and the worship of his son, Jack.

Another theory, closely related to the previous one, was that Fawcett was targeted by an erotic siren who draws white men into the jungle.

Now would be a good time to mention that his older brother was an occultist and friend of Helena Blavatsky, co founder of the Theosophical Society. In fact, he helped her while she was creating The Secret Doctrine.  Here is a link to the PDF version of The Secret Doctrine and here are two links to buy a physical copy of volume one and volume two. 

Fawcett’s wife also believed that the men were still alive, and claimed to have received a psychic message from her husband in 1934. She remained believing that they were alive and would come home until the day she died. 

* Psychic Geraldine Cummins also reported receiving a telepathic message from Fawcett in 1936, and received four more communications until 1948, when he told her that he was dead. “Cummins said, the Englishman had found the relics of Atlantis in the jungle but was now ill and semiconscious.”

The other conclusions draw about what happened include:

He was eaten by jaguars

He was still alive and was living off the land

He was still alive, found the lost city, and spent the rest of his days there

He was alive but a prisoner of a tribe

He became the chief of a cannibalistic tribe

He became a victim of amnesia, malaria, parasitic infections, you name it

He found the lost city and it was full of beautiful red headed aliens. 

Him and his son were worshiped as gods in Roncador.

He was killed and had his head shrunken. ** Here are two different photos of the head that’s alleged to belong to Fawcett. Due to its disturbing nature it will be up to you to decide if you want to see these photos. 

For the general public - Fawcett served as an exciting symbol of adventure and mystery. He's seen as this iconic explorer, an inspiration for many novels and characters - including Indiana Jones. At one point, a fictionalized version of Fawcett actually aids Indiana Jones in the 3rd book of the original series. His life was admirable and his disappearance was called, "one of the greatest mysteries of the twentieth century".

For experts....his reputation and life's work is much different.

Dr. John Hemming is a well established, highly experienced historian, explorer, and expert on Incas and indigenous peoples of the Amazon basin. His record is honestly too long to get into but just know that our knowledge of indigenous peoples from South America probably wouldn't be as extensive as it is without him. His books are still used as references, his work is praised by Brazilians and Europeans, and if you want to learn anything about the different tribes in South America - he's your guy.

His take on Fawcett? Well almost a century after Fawcett’s disappearance and presumed death Dr. Hemming was like 

"Greatest explorer? Fawcett? He was a surveyor who never discovered anything, a nutter, a racist, and so incompetent that the only expedition he organised was a five-week disaster. Calling him one of our greatest explorers is like calling Eddie the Eagle one of our greatest sportsmen. It is an insult to the huge roster of true explorers. Had the advertisement been about a soap powder, it would fall foul of the Trade Descriptions Act."  That’s a god damn direct quote from the VERY first paragraph of an article John Hemmings wrote about Fawcett in 2017.

In fact the tagline for the article was:  "A new Hollywood film hypes Percy Fawcett as a great explorer. In fact, he was a racist incompetent who achieved very little." 

Before his disappearance, Faucett was known for making....odd claims.

  "While on the expedition in 1907, Fawcett claimed to have seen and shot a 62-foot (19 m) long giant anaconda, a claim for which he was ridiculed by scientists. He reported other mysterious animals unknown to zoology, such as a small cat-like dog about the size of a foxhound, which he claimed to have seen twice, and the giant Apazauca spider [a mythical GIANT spider that turns its victims black as it poisons them]."

Some other incredible quotes from the article (that I highly encourage reading) include:

"He [Fawcett] emerges from it as a typical Edwardian colonial officer — friendly with South Americans but looking down on them, appalled by the cruelty at some rubber stations, full of gossip about life on this remote but boom-rich backwater, and uninterested in nature apart from banalities about dangerous snakes and irritating insects."

"The Maxubi were friendly and hospitable, but continuing on a forest trail Fawcett met another tribe (probably Sakurabiat) to whom he took a violent dislike. When one aimed a drawn bow at him, Fawcett shot the man with a Mauser revolver — absolutely forbidden by Brazil’s Indian Service. He described them as he imagined Neanderthals or Piltdown Man to have looked: ‘large hairy men, with exceptionally long arms, and foreheads sloping back from pronounced eye ridges… villainous savages, hideous ape men with pig-like eyes.’ No Amazonian Indian has body hair or looks remotely like this — I know, because I have spent time with over 40 different peoples. “

“These two groups, and the two on the Heath, were the only tribal people seen by Fawcett. He liked two of them. So it was strange that he wrote racist gibberish that ‘there are three kinds of Indians. The first are docile and miserable people, easily tamed; the second, dangerous, repulsive cannibals very rarely seen; the third, a robust and fair people, who must have a civilised origin.’ "

"He now took two inexperienced ex-public schoolboys, his son Jack and Jack’s friend Raleigh Rimmel."

"All expeditions in the past four decades had brought plenty of presents such as machetes, knives and beads. Fawcett had none. He committed other blunders that antagonised their hosts [the natives]. So it was only a matter of days before they were all dead."

"Such was the sad tale of this incompetent, whose only skill was in surveying."

"Then it was forgotten until 2009 when David Grann, a talented writer, published The Lost City of Z. Unfortunately, Grann hyped the story out of all proportion and wrongly depicted Fawcett as a great explorer. As he cheerfully admitted, Grann had no experience of rainforests. But he let his imagination run riot, with pages about ferocious piranhas, huge anacondas, electric eels (actually a fish that has never killed a man), frogs ‘with enough toxins to kill 100 people’, ‘predator’ pig-like peccary, ‘sauba ants that could reduce the men’s clothes to threads in a single night, ticks that attached like leeches (another scourge) and the red hairy chiggers that consumed human tissue. The cyanide-squirting millipedes. The parasitic worms that caused blindness…’ and so on. Everyone who know tropical forests, including me, knows that almost every word of this is nonsense."

"Grann wrote that, as an author, he would have been lost without my three-volume, 2,100-page history of Brazilian Indians and five centuries of exploration. He quotes quite often from my books. So he had no excuse for describing Fawcett’s brief visits to three indigenous villages as the ‘discovery of so many previously unknown Indians’, from whom ‘he learned to speak myriad indigenous languages’, and adopted ‘herbal medicines and native methods of hunting [so that he] was better able to survive off the land’.

Dr. Hemmings also refers to the colonizers who enslaved the natives in the area as 'thugs' 

 and fucking ended the article with " Hollywood believed everything Grann wrote, and then hyped it up more. ... But I could recommend scores of writings by real explorers."

The only good things about Netflix’s Death Note Movie

1. Willem DaFoe Green Goblining it up as Ryuk. 2. L for the first half before Watari got Death Noted. 3. The rockin’ soundtrack. 4. The time that-Okay, you know what? No, I can’t even leave just one fully positive post about this you know how much goddamn BULLSHIT it was that Mia/Misa and L were adapted as waaaay more in the wrong than Light was? In the manga and anime, Light was CLEARLY the main bad guy, careening himself farther away from “well-intentioned” and “maybe he has a point” and into “irredeemable soulless fascist dictator” with every chapter and episode. Hell, in the FIRST BOOK AND EPISODE, he clearly states that he will be “the God of this new world,” and his general “I don’t give a general fuck about other people” attitude could already start to be seen. In this adaptation, Light’s all just love and an old soul wise beyond his years who wants to HELP the world out of the goodness of his heart and sense of justice. And at first, it’s not to bad, you think to yourself, “hey, this could be alright. A narrative about how absolute power corrupts absolutely with a kid who only wants to kill the really bad guys, and even then is super freaked out about it. sure, whatever” But no. NO. It NEVER turns that way! Light ALWAYS only kills for “the greater good” and is constantly portrayed throughout this movie as this well-meaning kid who’s just in so much over his head you gu-uys! 

Meanwhile, Misa has been taken from her canon form as a devout Kira worshiper who was used and abused by Light to his own ends without a shred of emotion for her and has been turned into the love of Light’s life and THE REAL VILLAIN OF THE STORY! You see, Light didn’t really want to kill all those people and usher in a new era of Kira rule! It was all MIA’S influence and hen-pecking that drove Light to kill all willy-nilly! I mean, there’s this scene in the movie where Mia is showing Light a pro-Kira website where people are suggesting new people for Kira to kill, and Light brings up a point where some of the criminals could just be regular innocent people that have a beef with the poster. Mia basically tells him “Who cares? Any kind of petty crime or personal slight is good enough of a reason to kill for me! Let’s make out!” and they both go on their merry ways writing in the book. Like, fuck the writers for tossing out Light’s original characterization and motives to turn it all into a sexist, lazy, “It was all the EVIL WOMAN’S fault for tempting that poor boy!” narrative. And then Mia is killed off by Light on screen right after they have a fight where she is portrayed in the most clingy, shrewish way possible. She even says that she only killed all those people to get closer to Light. She had no justice-dog in this fight like the original Misa had. She was just in it so that Light would date her, and she somehow turned out to be the most murder-happy one after Light introduced her to the whole thing. And I’m sure that the neanderthal who wrote this drivel is patting himself on the back for writing such a great fucking script. And you’re supposed to feel bad because of course she dies by falling into a giant flower display and of course she has to be pretty when she dies. Fuck you. And while we’re on the subject of this movie going out of it’s way to justify and excuse A MASS MURDERER, let’s talk about how the movie treats L. For the first few minutes of his screen time, I honestly thought they did a good job. True, all he was doing was copying L’s mannerisms from the show and being deductive, but it was nice to see something from the books being portrayed accurately in this tire fire of a movie. But you know how everyone loved the original manga and anime for Light and L’s high stakes game of cat and mouse and how they would constantly one-up the other using their wits and intelligence and plenty of insanely thought out plans? Yeah, that’s also tossed right out the goddamn window in this one. Instead, we get an hour of L and Light basically shouting “Come at me, bro!” and emotionally lashing out at one another until one of them finally does something stupid enough to lose. It’s a race to the goddamn bottom, like the mental version of watching a drunken fistfight in a back alley. There’s no finesse, there’s no skill, just watching two guys shouting, “I KNOW YOU’RE KIRA!” and, “YEAH, WELL, FUCK YOU, KIRA’S THE GOOD GUY AND WHAT DO YOU KNOW ANYWAY?!” at each other for an hour. And L gets such a raw deal in this movie. I think he technically lives at the stupid non-ending (you don’t see Light die in the film, btw. You see Mia die, of course, because she’s an EVIL WOMAN!1! who DESERVED IT!!1, but of course not fucking Light), but even then he has even less dignity than in the manga and anime where he dies halfway through. L, in the manga, anime, and this trainwreck of a film, is the eccentric big-time elusive detective who picks up the task of finding out the identity of Kira to stop him. The only difference is that the manga and anime didn’t go out of their way to fucking destroy him. And I’m not just talking about the plot point in this failure of a motion picture that has Light easily put Watari’s name in the Death Note (yes, Watari is his real name in this and they just parade his name and face around without a worry in the world, I mean, what did you expect to happen?) that puts L into a tailspin. I’m talking about how the narrative treats L, the guy who’s trying to stop A MASS MURDERER from killing, as another bad guy, clearly in the wrong, because Light’s just trying to make the world a better place, yannow? First, he falls apart because Watari is missing and is in the hands of Kira, which okay, I don’t blame him, but he never gets past that. For the rest of the movie, he’s on the verge of tears, he can’t think straight, he’s blinded by emotion. He only manages to figure out a key point at the very end, and this was after Light openly confesses to what it is. Secondly, L is never able to officially out Kira. In light of this, his higher-ups unceremoniously fire him, leaving him an even bigger wreck. This happens around the exact same time Light is explaining to his dad what his master plan in the climax was, which is the only kind of smart thing that ever happens in this movie and is almost reminiscent of it’s source material. Point being, the narrative wants you to believe that Light is competent, L is incompetent. But you know what scene was the ultimate “fuck you” to L’s character as well as containing a horrible implication and clearly demonstrating a crucial flaw in the movie? Near the end of the movie, L has a gun pointed to Light’s head in a back alley. He’s desperate, and Light is shouting about the page of the death note stuck in Mia’s textbook that’s the key to saving Watari (because he’s such a GOOD GUY, you guys!) Since L has no goddamn idea what Light is talking about, and just knows that he’s the guy who killed 400 people and possibly his only friend, he ignores him, and turns to a man who just walked out of his shop, begging him to help and shouts, “He’s Kira!” The man stops and gets clarification that yes, Light is Kira, and then proceeds to knock L unconscious with a wooden plank to the head because he’s a fan of Kira as Light runs off to safety. Did I mention yet that L is black in this movie while Light is white? A black detective who’s implied to be the best of the best and is completely in the right is struck down because the bystander was a fan of the white mass murderer he was trying to stop. It doesn’t matter that “Oh, but Kira was only killing bad guys!” because fuck you, the movie itself established that Light and Mia were killing people on a whim and not bothering to check sources for libel. I will repeat, THE MOVIE POINT BLANK HAD A BLACK PROFESSIONAL STRUCK DOWN TO PROTECT THE WHITE MASS MURDERER THAT THE NARRATIVE TRIES TO PLAY OFF AS INNOCENT. Seriously, this whole movie exists around the premise that a greasy white boy who murders people needs to be cared about and protected from a woman and a black man who somehow convince him to commit more murder against his will because boobies or want him to stop committing murder at all costs. Ryuk, the death god that patiently walks Light through how to kill someone, doesn’t even get as many “DANGER! THREAT TO LIGHT’S SAFETY!” vibes as Mia and L do. The narrative is like, “Yeah, he’s a death god, what do you expect? BUT THIS WOMAN AND BLACK GUY ARE GONNA BE THE DEATH OF THAT POOR NAIVE BOY!” This kind of shit belongs in a trump rally, not in my movie based on a story where the main, privileged, young man was portrayed as an honest to God mass-murdering dictator who yes, must be fucking stopped. And you wanna know the dumbest thing about this movie? There are no stakes. None. The narrative wants you to care about the lives of a couple of murderers because they make a cute couple and are a pair of “good kids” who have glitter on their tongues (yeah) and are white (or at least, that’s what I’m guessing, since the only black character in the movie is treated as a hindrance and a joke even though he was in the right the entire time). Everyone in the movie’s world that isn’t a cop LOVES Kira. The movie is forever showing you pictures of people at Kira shrines, or holding, “I Love You, Kira!” or spraypaint on the walls that says “Kira Lives!” We never see the dystopian hellscape that ultimately was Kira’s world, where everyone was scared fucking shitless because Light was killing anyone who so much as looked at another guy funny. And don’t tell me that there was no crime ever in that world, there was just unreported crime. And we never see any followup to the scene where they just decide to kill people because anonymous sources online told them to. We never see any distraught partners breaking down on the news because their husband died of a heart attack for a crime he didn’t commit. We never see any innocent people die, or at least innocent people who are quickly brushed off as “cannon fodder” and are never mentioned again after they are killed (ie, the twelve FBI agents). Kira is just worshiped by EVERYONE to the point where if he just came out as Kira, nobody would be able to touch him because they’d be coming out of the woodwork to protect him (as demonstrated in the paragraph above). The only reason he DID possibly die in the end is because Light gave L the means to. If he never mentioned the Death Note, he would basically be unstoppable, because everyone in this movie is either SO DUMB or SO IN LOVE WITH KIRA. And while this movie is so bad it’s hilarious to watch and deserves a good MST3K-ing, it’s also so fucking infuriating with it’s fucking worship and embracing of this fucking white boy mass murderer to the point where they had to make characters from the original work into worse versions of themselves to prop him up while decrying anyone who opposes him as “the real bad guys.” These writers are the kind of people who pass a gang of white kids vandalizing a car to call the cops on a black kid sleeping in one. These writers are the kind of people who would say, “Well, of course she got raped, she constantly teased boys with her short skirts!” The writers are the kind of writers who would describe a white male shooter as, “teen genius suddenly snaps! Unfortunate incident for former varsity football player. His friends talk about what a great guy he was on page six.” Seriously, the next time someone scoffs at you for suggesting that white male privilege exists, show them this goddamn movie a bunch of grown ass adults made and went, “Yep, this’ll do!”

48 hours in Eureka Springs

The coolest little town in Arkansas.

Founded in 1879, in the days when spring waters with purported healing properties were the better-than-nothing treatment for most medical ailments, Eureka Springs became a resort boomtown. Around 4,000 people eventually lived there, with the moneyed folks building magnificent hotels, mansions and Victorian cottages that still cling like orchids to the rocky slopes of the valley where Eureka Springs sits.

With modern medicine quickly denouncing the idea of healing waters as quackery, the town's fortunes faded. That actually turned out to be a good thing, however, as the seclusion of sleepy Eureka for much of the 20th century largely trapped its unique architecture and character in amber. In recent decades, Eureka has reinvented itself as one of the most liberal and welcoming cities in Arkansas, a very blue speck in deep red Carroll County. For over 10 years, the city has stood at the vanguard of LGBT rights, hosting twice-yearly "Diversity Weekends," establishing a domestic partnership registry in 2007 that allowed same-sex couples to officially record their unions, recording the state's first legal same-sex marriage at their tiny courthouse in May 2014 and voting overwhelmingly in 2015 to pass an ordinance that protects LGBT residents and visitors from discrimination. Far beyond its Christian-themed tourist trap past, Eureka is a true destination now, with romantic lodging, great shopping, fine dining and events most every weekend. There's plenty to do and see.

Day 1

Settle in

Eureka Springs is known for its unique and historic lodging, making it the perfect spot for a romantic getaway. You can't go wrong with the Crescent Hotel, the elegant, circa-1886 showplace perched on a mountain above the city. Also lovely, and right in the middle of the city's historic downtown, is the Crescent's sister hotel, the Basin Park Hotel at 12 Spring St., which features balcony dining, shopping just steps from the door, and relaxation at Basin Spring next door. For more adventurous lodging, try the luxurious Treehouse Cottages, headquartered at 165 W. Van Buren St. Situated at two locations in Eureka, the eight Treehouse Cottages feature cabins built 22 to 26 feet off the ground, with each including amenities like whirlpool tubs and kitchenettes. For a REALLY unique overnight, how about staying in a facsimile of a hobbit house based on those in the "Lord of the Rings" books and film series, or cottages that evoke the feel of being in the world of Harry Potter? Eureka Springs Treehouses, Castles and Hobbit Caves (online at estreehouses.com) feature all the whimsical lodging you can stand, evoking medieval castles in the air, grass-covered cabins with round doors and windows and cavern-inspired lodgings of rustic stone.

Catch some brunch

Eureka Springs is definitely the place to slow down and sit a spell, and if you aren't enough of a morning person to rise and shine early enough for a proper breakfast, Oscar's Cafe, at 17 White St., is perfect for a leisurely not-quite-breakfast, with a front porch that's perfect for sipping coffee and a nice breakfast and lunch menu.

Shop, shop, shop

While Eureka Springs has long been known for its antique shops, the selection of chic boutiques has definitely taken an upswing in recent years. The first stop if you're in town for a romantic getaway has to be The Fine Art of Romance at 60 Spring St., a lingerie and more store that features one of the most elegant selections of perfumes,adult items and boudoir fashions in the state, plus a nice selection of erotic art and books. If you're on the prowl for quirky antiques and local art, try Mitchell's Folly, an antique store and art gallery at 130 Spring St. that features a truly eclectic and even eccentric variety of vintage items and fine art.

Get some lunch

All that walking up and down the steep streets of Arkansas's "Little Switzerland" should mean you're ready for lunch. The fairly new Grotto, at 10 Center St., partially in a natural cave in the side of a mountain, has developed a devoted following among locals with its menu of wood-fired grilled items and its spelunker ambiance. It's open 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. for lunch (and 5 p.m. to 11 p.m. for dinner). If diner food is your thing, try the venerable Sparky's Roadhouse Cafe, at 147 E. Van Buren St., which features a big menu of appetizers, sandwiches, burgers, salads and other items, with over 100 beers available to wash them down.

Grab some coffee (or an afternoon beer)

There's no Starbucks in Eureka Springs (thank God), but you can get a java jolt or an afternoon drink at Brews at 2 Pine St. It has a nice menu of coffee drinks, and — as the name suggests — does double brew duty with a good selection of Arkansas-made craft beers. There's a nice selection of local art, too. Brews is open 8 a.m. to 10 p.m., so early or late, you can find the beverage that best suits your mood.

Get closer to your spiritual side

No trip to Eureka is complete without a stop at the mammoth Christ of the Ozarks, 937 Passion Play Road, which consists of a vaguely boxy, seven-story concrete Jesus forever waiting for Godzilla to give him that promised hug. How many times has Big JC's weird pose been emulated by bored vacationers for a funny photo? Uncountable, but it's definitely high on the roadside kitsch meter. For a more refined walk on the God side, visit the lovely St. Elizabeth of Hungary Catholic Church, 30 Crescent Drive, just below the Crescent Hotel. Completed in 1909, the lovely stone church has the distinction of appearing in "Ripley's Believe It or Not" because, thanks to the hilly terrain of Eureka, the entrance to the church grounds is through the bell tower. The grounds are open and lovely day or night, but we prefer the frisson that a nighttime stroll gives. If you'd rather go more secular with your ponderings about the nature of the universe, you can always head for the famous Inspiration Point at 16498 State Highway 62 W, featuring commanding, beautiful views of the countryside.

Dinner bell is ringing

If you've got time to wait a bit, you should try to get a table at local favorite Ermilio's at 26 White St. Situated in a former home near the Crescent Hotel, the Italian restaurant is easily the most popular in the city, but operates solely on a first-come, first-served basis, with no reservations. Once on the waiting list, though, you'll have plenty of time to rub elbows with other diners in the cozy upstairs bar or on the front porch. If you're looking for a romantic dinner, try Le Stick Nouveau, a small French restaurant below the New Orleans Hotel at 63 Spring St. Featuring such signature items as duck a l'Orange and escargot, it's been getting rave reviews and fills up quickly, so reservations are encouraged.

Get your Scooby Doo on

With the craze for all things paranormal, Eureka Springs is a natural for looking for things that go bump in the night. Buttressed by a visit from the cable reality show "Ghost Hunters" some years back, the Crescent Hotel does a booming business with its ghost-themed tours of the building. Visitors will hear of the various alleged ghost sightings in the basement, which once served as a morgue when the hotel was used as a hospital, and "Michael," supposedly the ghost of an Irish worker who fell to his death while the hotel was being built in the 1880s. If that's not enough spooks for you for one night, The Basin Park Hotel also offers ghost tours.

Day 2

Tuck in again

Another local favorite, Mud Street Cafe at 22 S. Main St., features great coffee and a big slate of breakfast foods, including pancakes, hash browns, croissants, wraps, muffins, scones, bagels and more, plus omelets in seven varieties. For something a little more exotic, try The Oasis at 37 Spring St., which bills its cuisine as "Ark-Mex," with Mexican-inspired huevos for breakfast.

More shopping!

If you're looking to get in touch with your inner kid, stroll on in to Tee Rex Toys at 34 Spring St. A Willy Wonka-esque shop full of unique T-shirts, games, books, children's toys, vintage items and more, it's the fruit of the wonderful brain of Jayme Brandt, a local artist and designer who looks at the world with a poet's eye. Also, if you love the toasty feel of a pair of warm socks (and some uber-specific shopping), stop by the For Bare Feet store at 35 Spring St., which features thousands of pairs of socks in all styles and colors, including specialty socks for sports fans and designs taken from popular culture.

Visit Fay's little chapel in the woods

While in Eureka, both praying types and architecture lovers (we're not saying those two can't overlap) are honor bound to genuflect at architect Fay Jones' magnificent Thorncrown Chapel, a lithe, light-strewn construction of angled wooden beams, glass and stone situated on state Highway 62 about two miles out of town. Considered one of the top 10 American architectural masterpieces of the 20th century by the American Institute of Architects, the chapel is the crown jewel of Jones' storied career.

Visit Lake Leatherwood

The biggest city park in Arkansas, Lake Leatherwood City Park, at 1303 County Road 204 north of town, is a 1,610-acre oasis in the mountains, built around the shining 86-acre Lake Leatherwood, created by the dam the WPA built on West Leatherwood Creek in the early 1940s. With over 25 acres of trails and plentiful birds and wildlife, the park is the perfect place for a long stroll, a hike, a bike ride, fishing or canoeing.

Dinnertime!

Now that you've walked off all those calories from lunch and dinner, you're ready to chow down on some real Neanderthal fare. Take a drive out to Gaskin's Cabin Steakhouse, at 2883 state Highway 23 N, about three miles out of town. Started by a former bear hunter and the perfect mix of rustic and refined, Gaskin's is a carnivore's delight, with chops, prime rib and a variety of aged, hand-cut steaks, plus a great wine list. If a walk on the wild side is more your speed, head to the Cathouse Lounge at the Piped Piper Pub and Inn, 82 Armstrong St. Popular with the bikers who make their way to Eureka in droves these days, the Cathouse has a menu full of hearty fare to fill you up after a long day on your hog: the perfect pairing for cold beer and good times.

48 hours in Eureka Springs

White People: Stop lying!

You are not African. You did not come from Africa. It’s impossible. There is no way you would be able to survive in that heat on your own. There is no evidence to show that your skin can withstand that much sun. Meaning you could not have been indigenous to Africa. You need shelter in order to live there. We were not all born with shelter. In the beginning we all wondered the wilderness with no roofs, and definitely not stable shelter from the sun. Your skin was not made to endure it. 

At one point, all of earths plates were stuck together. Meaning Europe was attached to Asia and Asia to the middle east, and the middle east was attached to Africa. So I know you might think we all came from the big wonderful mysterious beautiful place but the truth is, the plates separated. And any white people that were in Africa at that point had probably migrated there and then returned to Europe after.

I know. I know. Europe is tiny. It doesn’t have as many natural resources as Africa, so I understand why you keep making up stories that imply that you are indigenous to Africa. It makes sense that you wouldn’t want full ownership to remain with black people because that would take away from your power which took hundreds of years to establish all over the world. You conquered the whole thing after all. From Asia, to Africa, to the Americas. You are most known for STEALING other people’s stuff and their HISTORY, and making it your own. You pull it off through psychological warfare that you try to make up for with economic means leaving people trapped in your spell.

I am not under this spell. Africa is ours. East, West, North and SOUTH. None of it has ever or will ever belong to you. You did not come from there and it would make absolutely no sense if you did. To migrate from the hottest climate into the coldest climate is just unrealistic and unlikely. It did not happen. Your people evolved from Neanderthals in the mountains. You were mountain human/canine breeds. (Which explains why you love dogs so much, they are like distant cousins of yours)

It’s actually embarrassing how much you lie and what you lie about. It’s embarrassing how obvious your lies are. Archeologists have not found your bones. They claim that ancient Egyptians were caucasianoid but there is not definite proof of ancient Egyptians being white or black. The books and research are all based on expert opinion. Not fact. But, if you look at the continent and it’s inhabitants, the truth is right in front of your face. Egypt is close to nile which separates it and it’s surrounding countries from the middle east. Clearly, based the on the physical features of modern Egyptians, the people of the middle east migrated to Egypt and mix bred with Black “sub-saharan” people to create what are now modern Egyptians. It’s clear based on population alone that Africa did not become black it has always been black. It’s clear based on population alone that dark skinned, wide nosed, corse haired Africans are indigenous with ALL OF AFRICA. Every single inch, and that anything other than that is a migrant. You don’t need an expert opinion. Numbers do not lie. Ancient Egyptian ruins do not lie. The migration of Europeans to south Africa does not lie. And it’s nothing new. It’s what you’ve always done.

Use us.

Steal from us.

Abuse us.

Lie about it by making sure you write the history before anyone else gets a chance. (Explains why you withheld modern education from blacks for so long!)

There’s nothing anyone can do. The damage has been done and to re-write history now would not only be daunting, but it would force you to admit that you are a liar - a monster and a sub human who has existed on earth for the shortest amount of time.

You never ever want to admit your weaknesses. I mean aren’t your shortcomings what drove you to power and world domination in the first place? 

Your land? Small. Your people? Physically weaker (which is why you rely on weapons and have for thousands of years). 

I understand why you lie, but you don’t realize how much it affects the rest of us. How your children are growing up believing lies, and thus maintaining the status quo long after you’ve died. And how everyone other than you is discovering the TRUTH in the meantime, and inside, they are resenting you. Hating you. And with each generation, you soften, you want forgiveness, and we get angrier, but that anger doesn’t surface in the ways that you think.

Just know, that you think people like you, but all we see are dollar signs and the threat of the use of nuclear weapons when we look at you. Eventually, that will no longer be true.