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foreveradreamlover · 4 years

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amores que matan parte 1

so yes, here it is. My first attempt at writing a semi-decent body of work. There will be a number of warnings so make sure to go through them before preceding. Enjoy! (I apologize in advance for the formatting, I use Tumblr on my phone 🥴) @lavenderhoney12 thank you for inspiring me to write this, I wouldn’t have wrote it at all without you 🤩💖

warnings: young naive reader, terrible Spanish and English translations, work has not been proofread, angst, hurt, power dynamics, future throuple between Miguel-Maria-Reader, possible dubious consent because of the power dynamic, possible dark undertones, talk of abortion and infedelity. Idk what else I’m missing but I’m sure I hit all the marks without giving it all away.

Sometimes you wished you hadn’t met Felix and Maria. Your life would have been so much easier if you hadn’t crossed paths with them and fallen for both of them. And as you laid between them in their marital bed, you realized your life was going to get a lot more complicated now. You stared at the ceiling, feeling tears well up in your eyes. The guilt began to eat you up, the regret sank in.

You don’t belong here, you have no place here. There was no room for you in their marriage, no matter how spacious their bed was. A marriage is a commitment between two people, a third was not possible. You managed to hold in your sobs as you realized how royally fucked you were because you didn’t want to wake them up. You already felt terrible enough, you didn’t want them to make you feel even worse by trying to justify it.

But how did you get into this mess?

The events of the night before were hazy but as you wiped your tears it all became clear again.

You began yesterday morning like any other morning in the Felix household. It was your responsibility to wake up Abril and Miguelito, as you were the full time nanny, and get them ready for the day. It was the best job you ever had, honestly. You love those two like your own and they were great kids. After the kids were taken to school, you left a two weeks notice letter on Maria’s desk when you returned back to the house.

The rest of the day was anxiety inducing, you spent the majority of your time trying to steer clear from Maria but also trying to complete the chores like organizing Abril’s closet. Eventually, you couldn’t hide from her anymore when Maria managed to have Abril trick you into meeting outside by the pool.

“Gracias mi amor. (Thank you my love)” María smiled at Abril as the little girl practically dragged you outside, knowing that the plan had worked just as she predicted. “Ahora puedes jugar con tu hermanito. Pero no juegan aquí, necesito hablar con tu niñera. (You van go play with your brother now. But you cannot play here, I need to speak with your nanny)”

Abril nodded and before you could make up another excuse, Maria held up your letter.

“¿Qué chingados es esto? (What the fuck is this?)” Maria was never one to beat around the bush, it almost made you regret dropping the notice on Maria’s desk instead of Felix’s.

Felix at least would have accepted it and not confronted you about it. He knew you were replaceable. Maria on the other hand surprised you. At the most you expected a slight sadness but never anger.

“¿Lo leíste? (You read it?)” you cringed, watching Maria’s eyebrows furrow even deeper.

“¡Cómo no! (Of course!)” she noticed you taking a step back before reeling her anger back in, “Perdón, a la mejor estoy un poco confundida. Pense que estabas feliz aqui, cuidando a mis hijos. Fue hace unas pocas semanas cuando me dijiste que estabas la mas feliz que ha sentido en tu vida. ¿Qué cambió? Y no quiero mentiras, quiero la verdad. (Sorry, maybe I’m a bit confused. I thought you were happy here, taking care of my kids. It was just a few weeks ago when you told me that you were the happiest you have ever felt in your life. What changed? And I don’t want to hear your lies, I want the truth.)”

When she asked you that question, you felt your heart beat so fast that you swore even Maria could hear it. You looked at Maria’s face and you knew in that instant that no matter how hard you tried, you would never be able to lie to her. You cared too much about her to lie. Especially in her face when she’s asking for the truth. Even if the truth may scare her or make her despise you, she would have to respect it. She asked so you had to deliver.

You took a deep breath, feeling your eyes starting to water up and causing Maria to give a concerning look. She was about to walk closer to you when you lightly put you hand up to indicate her that you were fine.

“Yo - yo no sé cómo decir esto. Honestamente, no pensé que te lo diría, cara a cara pronto así. No estoy segura que puedo hacerlo. Es different pensarlo que decirlo. Creo que podría morir aquí antes de poder decirlo...(I—I don’t know how to say this. Honestly, I didn’t think I would say it, face to face this soon. I’m not sure if I can do it. It’s different thinking it than saying it aloud. I think I could die before I could say it)” Your voice wavered, Maria’s face suddenly blurry from the tears shedding from your eyes at an alarming rate.

It was like all the tears you had refused to shed for months had finally decided to come out now.

“Mija... puedes decirlo. No sé qué es lo que tienes dentro pero tienes que dejarlo salir. Puedo ver que está haciendo más daño solo por estar dentro de ti. Suéltalo, te vas a sentir mejor si lo hagas. (Honey, you can say it. I don’t know what it is inside you but you have to let it out. I can see that it’s doing more bad being inside of you. Let it go, you’ll feel better if you do that)”

You didn’t know how but those words gave you the last needed to push to finally say it.

“Maria, me gustas desmiasado. No tenía idea de que querer a alguien así podría doler tanto. Pensé que enamorarme de alguien sería hermoso como una rosa, pero las espinas me pellizcaron... Si hubiera sabido que enamorarme de ti me haría sentir así, me habría ido antes. Me quedé porque pensé que podría superarlo. Pero no puedo, así que es mejor que me vaya. Te ruego que me dejes ir. (María, I like you too much. I had no idea that liking someone would hurt so much. I thought falling in love with someone would be beautiful like a rose but the thorns pinched me. If I knew that loving you would make me feel this way, I would have left sooner. I stayed longer than I should have because I thought I would get over it. But I can’t, so it’s better if I leave. I beg you to let me leave.)” Your words came out slurred, you weren’t even sure if it was audible through the sobs.

You felt incredibly vulnerable, your vision unclear and your mind foggy. You hadn’t a clue where Maria stood or if she was even there. All you felt was your heart breaking each passing second you heard silence. You just poured out your heart of all the thoughts you harbored for months, did she know you were happy because you were in love with her? Your happiness was just a facade, it was the rose colored glasses that made you think this was love. Love couldn’t possibly feel this cruel and hurtful.

You were about to wipe your tears when you felt a pair of hands cup your face. The thumbs carefully wiped away your tears, allowing for some relief from the waterfalls pouring out of your eyes. You relished in their touch, not knowing how good it was just to be in contact with another person. You were truly touch starved and even their simple brush of your tears was enough to heal some of your deep-seated wounds you possessed. You were broken and it took one unattainable love to make you realize.

“Ya, ya. Suelta todo que tienes dentro de ti. Te vas a sentir mejor cuando todo esto se termine. (Now, now. Let go of everything inside you. You’ll feel much better when all of this is done.)” María whispered, pulling you closer to her and stroking your hair. You shuddered and felt like the tears would never be able to stop. Maria didn’t yell at you like expected, she pitied you. You honestly didn’t know what was worse. You got to be in Maria’s arms but for the wrong reasons.

You’re so stupid, you thought to yourself. You can’t compete with Felix, which you still had unrealized feelings for by the way. He’s the breadwinner and father to her children, you’re just a stupid nanny who fell in love with someone she couldn’t have.

Having your face buried in Maria’s shoulder only made you feel more in love with her in a fucked up away. Her compassion towards you made you fall harder. With this embrace, you could smell the expensive floral and sweet perfume and feel her in a way you could have only imagined before this exchange. It would have probably hurt you less if she pushed you off her and refused to see you again. At least then you would know to move on. This unexpected reaction from Maria has left you confused. This hug seemed too friendly for a simple embrace.

“¡Señora! (Mrs!)” fellow employee called out, a phone in her hand. “Habla Señor Felix! (Mr. Felix is calling!)”

And just like that, the things you thought you could only dream of crumbled as Maria took her hand out of your hair and sighed. Maria turned to the elderly woman, giving a weak smile, “Por favor dígale que no puedo atender el teléfono. Estoy un poco preocupada en este momento. (Please tell him I’m not able to come to the phone. I’m busy at the moment.)”

The older woman nodded, heading back inside as Maria pulled you back in for another warm hug. You tried to make words, feeling your lips tremble every time you attempted to say something. Your mouth felt dry and your head throbbed with pain. You weren’t sure if you would have any tears left after this episode, they were coming all at once.

“Creo que deberíamos entrar a la casa. Tu cara se siente caliente. (I think we should head inside. Your face feels hot.)” María pulled back to examine your face, a worried expression on her own face when she put the back of her hand on your forehead.

You nodded weakly, suddenly remembering you two were talking outside the whole time. You really hoped nobody heard walking by. The future was uncertain now. Maria neither accepted or rejected your two weeks notice and now that she knows that you loved her, the chances of her being comfortable around you were probably slim to none. You couldn’t blame her if she was uncomfortable with this situation, she was married and you worked for her. You also didn’t know if she even liked women.

You didn’t think you did either until you saw Maria for the first time.

Maria wrapped an arm around your shoulder as she lead the way into the house and to your bedroom. Your eyes kept steady to the ground, averting any possible eye contact with anyone who happened to be nearby. The whole walk to your bedroom was so eerie and tense that you wished nothing more than to disappear.

Maria helped you onto your bed and you accepted the comfort of the bed instantly because you had a feeling that the bed was going to be your only companion from now onwards. At least you got to hug her twice, you thought bitterly. To avoid any more conversation, you turned away from Maria and to the wall, hoping she would walk out and leave you be. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself but more so her anymore. You said enough and for that, you felt that you deserved to be excommunicated.

Instead, you felt her sit at the front of the bed.

“Siempre supe que me amabas. (I always knew you loved me)” She sighed loudly, hearing the instant relief washing over her. The fact shocked you, how did she know? When did she find out? Was it that obvious? The questions came faster than the possible answers and it was as if she knew what you thought because immediately after the short silence she said, “No me interrumpas. Has hablado bastante. Ahora es mi turno. (Don’t interrupt me. You’ve talked a lot already. It’s my turn now.)”

You kept quiet, looking at the wall to try to stop the thinking.

“Sé que te estás preguntando cómo lo supe. Creo que lo supe cuando me dijiste que eras feliz hace unas semanas. Sé cuando a alguien le gusta otra persona y lo vi en ti. Traté de no pensar en la posibilidad de que yo te gustara, no quería pensar eso porque no quería verte de manera extraña. También crecí en una casa muy religiosa ... Nunca le he dicho esto a nadie, ni siquiera a Miguel ... pero siempre supe que también me gustaban las chicas. Y por eso, me asusté cuando me dijiste que me amabas. Mi primer pensamiento fue rechazarte ... fingir que esto no sucedió y dejarte ir como pediste. Pero luego recordé cómo me sentí cuando mi mejor amiga me llamó lesbiana sucia...(I know you’re asking yourself how I knew. I found out when you told me you were happy a few weeks ago. I know when someone likes another person and I saw it on your face. I tried not to think about the possibility of you liking me, I didn’t want to view you weirdly. I also grew up in a religious household...I never told anyone this, not even Miguel but I knew from a young age that I also liked girls along with boys. That is why I was scared when you told me you loved me. My first thought was to deny what you said, to pretend it never happened and let you go like you asked. But I began to remember when my best friend called me a dirty lesbian...)” Maria’s voice wavered a bit before she cleared her throat to continue with her little story, “Recuerdo sentirme tan mal conmigo misma. Pensé que mis sentimientos eran repugnantes y eso me hizo dejar esos sentimientos a un lado. No fue hasta que llegaste cuando empecé a recordarlos. (I remember feeling terrible with myself. I thought my feelings were disgusting and that caused me to put my feelings to the side. It’s what until you came into my life that I began to remember them.)”

“M—María... ¿Porqué me estas diciendo esto? (Why are you telling me this?)” your voice cracked, turning to your other side to see her back was facing towards you. “No es necesario que me explique. No sé qué decir ... Has sido amable conmigo en los pocos meses que trabajo aquí. Realmente amo mi trabajo pero no entiendo el sentido de esta conversación. Estoy despedida ... al menos creo que estoy despedida. (You don’t need to explain to me all of this. I don’t know what to say. You’ve been so kind to me in the few months I’ve worked here. I really love my job but I don’t know why you’re telling me all this. I’m fired...at least I think I am fired.)”

Maria turned to you, her face streaming with tears, “No estas despedida. Te lo digo para que cuando empiece a besarte, no te sorprendas. (You are not fired. I am telling you all of this because when I start to kiss you, you won’t be surprised.)”

The words almost didn’t register fast enough as Maria leaned down to kiss you, slowly at first so it didn’t overwhelm you. Once it began to sink in, you kissed back eagerly. You didn’t know if you were dreaming or dead, everything seemed to happen so fast. Never in a million years did you think your feelings would be reciprocated.

Maria’s hand gripped the hair on the back of your head, intending to keep your face in place when she broke the messy kiss to peck at your neck. Even though you two only kissed once, it told you a lot about Maria. Things you suspected but never truly could have known until this moment.

Maria is domineering. She’s the one in control and you were the one to be controlled. You didn’t mind, you were taking anything you could get from her.

Maria was also playful, her free hand was playing with your necklace as she kissed around the exposed skin on you neck and upper chest.

But above all, she was passionate. You were so under her spell and past sanity that you didn’t notice when she unbuttoned your white shirt. Your face flushed as you looked down to see that she had taken off her own top, wondering if this was a signal to take off the rest of your clothes. You fumbled with your hands to reach your back to begin unhooking your bra when she stopped you.

“Creo que deberíamos continuar con los besos. Lo que queremos no puede suceder porque no tenemos suficiente tiempo. No pensé que me pondría cachonda tan rápido.” She smiled as she traced a finger along your collarbone, “Te ves tan hermosa sin camisa puesta, casi no puedo esperar para ver más. (We should continue with only kissing. What we want cannot happen because we don’t have enough time. I didn’t think I would get horny so fast. You look beautiful without a shirt on, I can hardly wait to see more of you).”

You blushed and leaned in to continue making out with her. Maria pulled you onto her lap to straddle her, her hand immediately grabbing your ass. You gave a surprised gasp, making Maria laugh in response. You both kiss each other, your lips feeling swollen when you parted. You pulled away, breathless and laid down on the bed.

“Esto se siente mal. Usted es mi patrona, cuido a los niños... eres una mujer casada. (This feels wrong. You’re my boss, I watch the kids...you’re a married woman).” You began to panic, sitting up instantly in fright when Maria placed her hand on your stomach to push you back down.

“Querida, tengo una pregunta y quiero una respuesta. (Darling, I have a question and I want an answer from you)” Maria turned to you and made sure you two shared eye contact, “Te gusta mi marido, ¿no? (You like my husband, don’t you?)”

You gave her a confused look. Did Maria know all? Had she been spying on you? How does she know that you like Miguel as well? I guess I’m not as secretive as I thought, you thought to yourself. But how can you answer her? What was the right answer? What did she want to hear?

“No no. ¡No pienses! No me gusta cuando haces eso. (No, no. Don’t think about it! I don’t like when you do that.)” Maria shook her head, “Quiero que me des una respuesta honesta. No quiero escuchar una mentira, quiero escuchar la verdad. Usted me puede decir. Realmente me gustaría saber. (I want you to give me an honest answer. I don’t want to hear a lie, I want to hear the truth. You can tell me. I would really like to know.)”

You felt your heart beat faster, suddenly feeling dizzy. You barely realized your dehydration from crying so much earlier.

“Bueno ... parece que ya sabes la respuesta. (Well...it sounds like you already know the answer to your question)” You bit your lip, wiping the slight precipitation on your upper lip.

“Me conoces bien. (You know me well)” Maria gave a wide grin, leaning down to kiss your forehead, “Quiero oírte decirlo. Quiero escucharlo de tus labios. Si no dices nada, haré que uses tus labios de otras formas. (I want to hear you say it. I want to hear it from your lips. If you don’t say anything, I will have you use your lips in other ways).”

Your eyes widened, “Para mí, eso suena maravilloso. (For me, that sounds wonderful)” Maria shot you an unamused expression, prompting you to finally confess, “Tu esposo también me gusta. Lo siento. No eres solo tú. También es él. Y me hace sentir aún más repugnante. (I like Miguel too. I’m sorry. It’s not just you. It’s him as well. And it makes me feel even more disgusting.)”

Maria wasn’t phased, deciding to lay down next to you finally and looking up at the ceiling, “Tuviste ojos en él desde que llegaste. Pensé que ustedes dos ya habrían dormido juntos antes de esto. Todo el mundo sabe que se acuesta con putas. Supongo que elegí no darme cuenta. Todo estuvo bien hasta que me encontré con esa puta que quedó embarazada de él. (You’ve has eyes on him since you’ve arrived. I thought you two would have already slept together by now. The whole word knows that Miguel sleeps with whores. I guess I chose to be ignorant to the fact. I was fine with pretending it wasn’t an issue until I found the whore he impregnated).”

You gasped but quickly regretting it. You had heard the rumors from other employees but didn’t think there was any truth to them.

“Le di dos opciones. La primera fue abortar al bebé y recibir algo de dinero como compensación por el trauma de perder a un hijo. La segunda era tener el bebé y recibir el dinero suficiente para salir de Guadalajara. Me vale madres que pasará con el bebé o ella, me costó mucho no matar a Miguel cuando me contó lo que pasó. Me avergonzó al hacerme hablar con ella en lugar de hablar con ella él mismo. Para abreviar la historia, eligió el aborto. Por mucho que odié a Miguel en ese momento, todavía amo a ese idiota. Sentí pena por esa mujer que pensó que a Miguel le importaría lo suficiente como para hablar con ella. Miguel apenas se preocupa por nuestros hijos, por eso tenemos una niñera. Le rompió el corazón y el mío al mismo tiempo. Qué hombre. (I gave her two options. The first was to abort the baby and receive money as compensation for the trauma of losing a baby. The second was to have the baby and get enough money to leave Guadalajara. I don’t give a fuck what happened with the baby or her, it took everything to not kill Miguel when he told me what happened. He embarrassed me when he made me talk to her instead of talking to her himself. To make a long story short, she chose the abortion. Although in that moment I hated Miguel, I still love that idiot. I felt terrible for the woman who thought Miguel cared enough to talk to her. Miguel barely cares about our children’s, that’s why we have you. He broke her heart and mine at the same time. What a guy.)”

The two of you laid silent, you looked at her and she up at the ceiling. You noticed a stray tear falling from her eye and you were quick to wipe it away.

“Lo peor de todo es que yo también la odiaba. No porque se acostó con él, sino porque quedó embarazada. ¿Por qué todas las putas quedan embarazadas? Solo pude tener dos hijos, quería uno o dos más. ¿es mucho para preguntar? Dolía sugerir el aborto, pero no soportaba que otra mujer tuviera a su hijo bastardo como recordatorio de su infedilidad. (The worst of all is that I hated her too. I didn’t hate her because she slept with him, but because she got pregnant. Why do all the whores get pregnant? I only had two, I wanted one or two more. That’s all. Is that too much to ask for? It hurt to suggest the abortion but I couldn’t stand another woman having his bastard child. That child would always be a reminder to me if his infidelity)” Maria’s eyes closed to stop the tears and even through non sexual ways, you learned more about Maria.

She was broken. As were you. She was just better at hiding it. You didn’t know what to say to make her feel better, you didn’t think you could cheer her up from admitting to forcing a woman getting an abortion. She needed to get this off her chest.

In your mind, you thought Maria was cruel for giving that woman an ultimatum. Maria may have said she had given the woman two options but it was obvious which one the young woman would take. Even if she was carrying the bastard child of Miguel, that baby deserved a chance to live. The baby did nothing wrong but be conceived. It wasn’t like Maria couldn’t have adopted it, she wanted more children. Maybe this child was the chance for her to have the third child she’s always wanted. What was the difference if the baby came from a different woman? Maria was going to be the mom all the same.

“Ahora sabes más sobre el tipo de hombre que es Félix. Es un lobo a la vista, obtiene lo que quiere. Siempre. Eres joven, amable, pero un poco ingenua, te comerá y te dejará sin nada. Te romperá el alma como si nada. Solo te lastimarás en el proceso. (Now you know what kind of man Felix is. He’s a wolf in plain sight, he gets what he wants. Always. You’re young, loving, but a bit naive. He will eat you up and leave you with nothing. He will break your soul like it was nothing. You’ll just hurt yourself in the process)” Maria stroked your hair, leaving a small kiss on your forehead as she shifted towards you.

You turned to her, cupping her face gently. You felt like you hadn’t been looking at her in the eyes enough so you made sure this time to make a point, “Te amo Maria y si lo que dices es cierto sobre Felix, no lo aceptaré. Solo quiero estar contigo, sea lo que sea que eso signifique. No quiero irme, quiero quedarme aquí y cuidar de los niños. Me preocupo por ellos. (I love you Maria and if what you say about Felix is true, I won’t accept him. I just want to be with you, whatever that entails. I don’t want to go, I want to stay here and take care of the kids. I care for them.)”

“Sé que has estado hablando de el amor todo este tiempo, pero ¿sabes siquiera qué es el amor en realidad? Sé que no has estado con nadie, eres apenas una adulta. ¿cómo sabes de lo que estás hablando? Puedes pensar que me amas, puedes pensar que amas a los niños, incluso puedes pensar que puedes cambiar a Miguel. (I know you’ve been talking about love this whole time but do you even know what real love is? I know you haven’t been with anyone, you’re barely an adult. How do you know what you’re talking about? You can think you love me, the kids, you may even think about being able to change Miguel)” she ran a finger over your bottom lip, smiling softly at how you slightly trembled from the sensation, “No sé si te estoy contando todas las cosas malas que tiene Félix para protegerte o para ser egoísta. No me gusta compartir. Eres tan preciosa que no merece ni siquiera tocar un solo cabello tuyo. Está mal querer tanto a alguien. Pero se siente tan bien. Finalmente entiendo a Félix y por qué se coje a mujeres que no son su esposa. (I don’t know if I’m telling you about Felix to project you or to be selfish. I don’t like to share. You’re just so precious that he doesn’t deserve to even touch a single hair on your head. I finally understand why Felix fucks other women who aren’t his wife.)”

You saw the passion in Maria’s eyes and that let you know that she meant what she was saying. She had reason to believe that maybe you weren’t really in love and that it was just lust. You didn’t want to believe it but with every passing moment, you couldn’t help but fall more deep than before. At first you felt terrible at the idea of betraying her marriage and being the home wrecker but how could you wreck a home that was already on its way to be demolished? Maria just wanted to be loved and you planned on doing just that.

You felt that it was the right time to lean in for another passionate kiss when you heard Miguelito pound on your door.

“¿Bebita, estas en tu cuarto? Necesito ayuda con mi tarea, por favor. Te prometo que no voy a dar lata. (*Nickname*, are you in there? I need help with my homework please. I promise I won’t be difficult.)” He whined, continuing to knock softly in the hopes that gig will respond back.

You smiled softly, instantly getting off the bed and freshening up. You had a job to do and you were momentarily sidetracked. “Si estoy aquí. Estaré allí en un momento. Espero que te mantengas fiel a tu promesa, cariño. (I am in here. I will be there in a second. I hope you can keep your promise, sweetheart)”

As you gave an apologetic glance to Maria, you quickly made yourself presentable and happily helped Miguelito with his homework. Anything to get your mind off of everything that had happened before he interrupted.

You were walking out when you saw Felix in the hallway, walking towards you. You tried your best to seem nonchalant in the hopes he would not stop you but right when you walked next to him, his hand gripped your arm tightly to get you to stop in your tracks.

“¿Sabes dónde está mi esposa? (Do you know where my wife is?”

And that’s it folks. For now. 😋 This series will be dialogue heavy so I apologize in advance. Thank you so much for reading!

#miguel angel felix gallardo #maria elvira #maria elvira de felix #narcos mexico imagine #narcos fanfic

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catxmendoza · 3 years

Text

a girl named chiqui.

self para. a prison in southern texas, six hours away from olympus.

tw. anxiety, death, grief, imprisonment, prison, mentions of murder, drug use

**ooc. any reference to mexican culture has been thoroughly researched, and the mun has also spoken with latinx, mexican and tejanx individuals to verify that references are handled in a respectful manner. of course, the mun is always open to suggestions, criticisms and directions.**

Her road trip was almost spontaneous.

She hadn’t been able to sleep since the explosion. Most of her nights in the past month had been spent tossing and turning until the sun came up and gave her a reprieve from her own head. Boxing didn’t help, neither did smoking or drinking or running. Her mind raced with thoughts, what ifs and memories she believed she had buried years ago. Every time she closed her eyes though, they struck her like lightening. Her mother’s smile, the smell of her abuela’s quilt draped over their couch, the sound of birds outside their kitchen window, even her father’s voice teaching her his many lessons about life. A waking dream, a nightmare, she wasn’t sure what she was suffering through, but that explosion had rattled her in more ways than one.

The memories became suffocating faster than she thought they would, until every other thought was drowned by her life from before it was ripped apart. Every memory was tied up in a chest-clenching feeling of anger and grief, shaking her to her core. There was no escaping it, no running or smoking or drinking it away until she was left numb.

Cat hid her dilemma well enough, she thought, but behind closed doors she paced the floor with a joint in her hand just thinking. Her mother’s altar, situated in the far corner of her living room, seemed to mock her. It was ironic, considering she had set up that altar herself, and lit candles donning Jesús Malverde image just that morning. But every time Cat looked at it, she swore she could practically hear her mother’s voice whispering to her/

Go see him.

He would be worried.

He must be worried.

What are you afraid of, mi amor?

Everything. Catalina Mendoza, who marched around Olympus like she had hell on her heels and relished in it, was absolutely terrified. Of what, she wasn’t entirely sure, but she could feel it in her bones. Olympus was ripping itself apart and she had a feeling -call it a hunch- that when all was said and done, there wouldn’t be anyone to truly watch her back. No family to fall back on, no friends close enough to understand- mierda, not even her uncle would take her back after the shit she pulled. Knowing him, he’d let her get killed just to be done with it. There was no one... except him.

It was that thought that propelled her to her room, pulling out a duffle bag and some clothes for a couple days away.

Cat was on the road to Texas the next morning. The first few hours were spent singing as loud as she could with her playlist - “ Amor prohibido murmuran por las calles!” - however the closer she got to her destination, the deeper the pit in her stomach became. She had been there once before, right after the funeral. It had been nothing but vicious words -from her- and silence -mostly him. She had sworn it would be the first and last time, and yet here she was, pulling up to a desolate looking building surrounded by towers and barbed wire lined fences.

It probably wasn’t smart to walk into a prison, what with her activities in the past year, but she was mostly free of suspicion. If they were going to arrest her, they would have done so back in Louisiana. There was also the possibility that he just didn’t want to see her. She wouldn’t blame him. She sat in her car for a good twenty minutes staring at the entrance marked Visitors, trying to calm her racing heart and the swell of emotions in her chest. There was the strong urge to say fuck it and drive her six hours back to Olympus, Louisiana and forget about this entire thing, but something else, something just as strong, grounded her to the moment. Cat took a deep breath, and gave herself a determined look in the mirror.

“Get your shit together, Mendoza.”

And she did. She got out of her car and walked into the prison before she could tell herself to turn around again. The sign in process was as brutal as she remembered it- metal detectors, pat downs, the bleak and stark reminder of her current circumstances.

They herded her and a few others into the visitor’s hall, where plastic round tables sat with with two chairs on either side. Guards were stationed at every exit, and she could see cell bars from her view of the door where they kept the prisoners. She felt strangely exposed sitting there waiting, only idly listening to people reconnecting with their loved ones around her. Cat tried to tell herself that it was only a few minutes, but a part of her was already convinced that he wasn’t going to show up. He had made it clear the last time she visited that it should be her last, that he didn’t want her coming to see him for one reason or another. Those words had cut deep, especially considering she had just buried her mother. The one person she needed most in the entire world simply... gave up on her, and everything else for that matter.

Just when she was ready to get up and leave, the door opened once more and he appeared. It struck her how familiar his face was, yet he had changed. He was a little skinnier, and weathered. There were wrinkles and gray hairs that hadn’t been there the last time she saw him, and a full beard that only served to make him seem older. But he was still her Papá.

He stopped short when his eyes landed on her, as if he had seen a ghost. There was no expression on his stony face, and she tried her best to keep hers still as well as she observed him. The orange jumpsuit was such a stark difference from the dark green overalls he used to wear whenever he worked on his truck, but then again, he was a different man than the person who came sit before her.

It was silent between them for a moment, with him staring at her and her staring at him It occurred to her that in the many nights that she had sent thinking about this visit and the hours she had driven there, she hadn’t once thought about what she would say when she finally sat in front of him. Hola didn’t seem appropriate, nor did It’s nice to see you, because frankly it wasn’t. There was so much she wanted to say, all flooding to the surface, she couldn’t decide which words mattered more.

“Se supone que debes estar en mexico. [You’re supposed to be in Mexico.]” He said, quipped and to the point.

Catalina blinked at him for a moment, thrown by the statement. It had been 10 years since she had seen him, ten years without so much as a phone call to see how she was doing. And that was what he decided on? She couldn’t decide if she was angry, shocked, or completely exasperated with how typical it was of the big bad Sicario who plagued their city to demand things of her.

The drug dealer adjusted herself in her seat before she raised a brow at him. “Bueno, no lo estoy. [Well, I’m not.]”

“No jodas. [Don’t fuck around.]” He sounded tired, in no mood for whatever sarcasm would surely pour out of her mouth. She was his kid, no matter how much she liked to deny it every chance she could get. He knew her, even years later. “¿Tu Tío sabe que estás aquí? [Your Uncle know you’re here?]”

She shook her head. “No. We’re not really on speaking terms these days.”

“...Hm.”

He was silent again, looking at her from beneath scruffy brows and crows feet. She could see the remnants of laugh lines poking out from beneath his beard, remnants of a life he lived with her and her mama. She couldn’t imagine that he smiled much these days.

Catalina’s gaze went down to her hands, focusing on her dark nails and the scar that wound down around her wrist. The arm she had broken in the explosion was still a little skinny, but it was slowly returning to normal. She looked at him once more, pursing her lips. “Nosotros tuvimos un desacuerdo. [We had a disagreement.]”

He scoffed softly. “Tu Tío no tiene desacuerdos, los termina. [Your Uncle doesn’t have disagreements, he ends them.]” Carlos Luis leaned forward on her forearms, cocking his brow in a way Catalina did quite often. “¿Qué hiciste? [What did you do?]”

Of course, it was Catalina who did something. God forbid, Sebastian Ramirez ever take responsibility for anything, even when he wasn’t here. She scowled at him and crossed her arms over her chest. “What did I do? Mierda, Carlos, diez años. Diez años y todavía estás defendiendo a Sebas como si fuera un santo o un Dios. [Shit, Carlos, ten years. Ten years and you’re still defending Sebas like he’s some kind of saint or God.]”

“Hey,” Carlos warned, low and in his throat. “¿Has venido desde donde sea que estuviste para discutir sobre tu tío? ¿Perder mi tiempo, perder el tuyo? [So you came all this way from wherever you been to argue about your uncle? Waste my time, waste yours?]”

Cat rolled her eyes, anger twisting her stomach in knots. “You know what, I don’t know why I even bothered-”

She stood up, fully prepared to march out of that room and never look back. She was only a few steps away when his voice cut through the air.

“Catalina.”

Her entire body froze as his voice echoed off the walls, drawing looks from people around them. For a moment she felt like a little kid again getting caught doing something she wasn’t supposed to. As angry as he sounded, as angry as he was, he could never stay mad at her for long. This? This was different.

“Wait...” He said with a clear struggle and a heavy sigh. She turned back to look at him, taking in his sagging shoulders and the “Por favor, sit down. [Please, sit down.]”

It took her a moment more to decide whether or not to stay. He gave her another imploring look, one that was mixed with irritation at her defiance.

“Por favor, Catalina.”

Cat sighed and begrudgingly slid back into her seat with knitted brows. They were silent again, stewing in their own anger and frustration like two petulant children. Usually, this was the time when her mother would demand a truce from them both. Stubborn is as stubborn does, she would claim, and damn, was she blessed with a husband and daughter with extremely hard heads.

Her mother would want them to get along. No matter how angry they were, no matter what they said before, she would want them to be okay. Even in their circumstances.

Carlos eyed her a moment, almost as if he were analyzing him. “¿Dónde te has estado guardando? [Where you been keeping yourself?]”

“Louisiana.” She answered, without digging into specifics. “Joined up with some associates there. They treat me good enough.”

He gave her a strange look. “Louisiana? ¿Qué diablos te traería a Louisiana? [What the hell would bring you to Louisiana?]”

She could try to rebuild the bridge she burned with him, at least. She had driven far enough, she might as well have something to show for it. Cat cleared her throat, not lifting her gaze to meet his eye. “I found them.” She confessed, earning a confused look from them. “Those men. Esos monstruos que se llevaron a mi mamá. [Those monsters who took my mother.]”

Carlos frowned deeply at her, the implications of what she was saying dawning on him. His eyes darted to the guard as he leaned forward. “¿Cómo? [How?]”

“Recibí una propina, seguí y terminé un estado. [I got a tip, followed up and wound up a state over.]” Cat told him in a low voice. “Sebas didn’t agree.”

“No, he wouldn’t. I don’t blame him.” Carlos clicked thoughtfully. “Si desentierras a los muertos, seguramente atraerás buitres. [You dig up the dead, and you're bound to draw vultures.]”

“Yeah, he said that same stupid shit. Did Abuelo tell you that?”

Instead of getting angry at her crassness, he actually chuckled. Instead of a smile though, his lips twisted into an almost snarl, as if the actual pained him. “Tu abuelo era un borracho y una amenaza. Nunca dijo nada significativo en su vida. [Your grandfather was a drunk and a menace. He never said anything meaningful in his life.]

“Like father, like son.”

Again, Carlos didn’t become enraged at the blatant disrespect. He just sat there, taking it in. Cat almost felt bad about the jabs, but a part of her liked how it felt to take out her frustration on him. The part of her that implicated him in her mother’s death and still, to this day, laid blame at his feet. It was his enemies, after all, who had come to kill him in the night and instead found she and her mother. Any memory she had of that night was nonexistent, she only knew what she was told. But it was enough to stir a fire of anger in her.

“...No estoy de acuerdo con tu tío. [I don’t agree with your uncle.]” Carlos confessed with a weary look. “If I was free, if I had the chance...” He didn’t need to say it. If he was free, those men would have been dead years ago. If he had been free, they wouldn’t have even been memories, because that was how good he was at what he did. His skill, however, led him to where he was now. Widowed. Imprisoned for life. What he would have done was inconsequential. Carlos shook his head. “Tu madre querría que te impida hacer lo que creo que vas a hacer... [Your mother would want me to stop you from doing what I think you're gonna do...]

Cat scoffed. “I don’t want you to-”

“Déjame terminar... [Let me finish...]” Carlos said, closing his eyes and shaking his head solemnly. God, he really did look so much older than he did. Gaunt, like a shell or a ghost of the man he was. “Conozco esa rabia que supura en ti. Eso es lo único que obtuviste de mí. Tu cabello, tu cara bonita, tu cerebro, lo obtuviste de tu madre. Pero esa rabia, ese soy yo. [I know that anger that festers in you. That's the one thing you got from me. Your hair, your pretty face, your brain, you got that from your mother. But that rage, that's me.]”

Catalina stared at him with knitted brows, taking in his words. It occurred to her that she didn’t have anyone else to talk about her mother with. He was the only only other person who remembered their life when it was happy and good. He was the only other person who understood how frustrated and pissed off she was at everything and everyone for what life had stripped from her. He knew, and perhaps that was why she felt the urge to visit in the first place. To not feel alone in the feelings she was stewing in.

Carlos breathed deep through his nose, rubbing a hand over his face. “Vas a hacer lo que tienes que hacer, y no te voy a decir que te detengas o bajes la velocidad porque eso sería jodidamente estúpido.” [You're gonna do what you have to do, and I'm not going to tell you to stop or slow down because that would be fucking stupid.]” He shook his head. “But I am gonna tell you to watch your back, and when you’re finished, corre como que te sigue el diablo. [run like the devil’s behind you.]

Run. For as long as Catalina had an itch for revenge, she had always known it would end in a few ways. Death, imprisonment, maybe worse. But running? An escape plan had never been in her purview. She was perfectly content believing that the path she walked had an early and abrupt end.

Or maybe she was simply lying to herself.

Her father didn’t run. He had stayed when the police showed, too engrossed in grief to know better. His was a cautionary tale of many different kinds, love and life being at the top of that list. If anything, she would want to do everything he didn’t. Yet, they still walked a similar path.

“¿Qué pasa si ya no quiero correr? [What if I don't want to run anymore?]” Catalina sighed, starting to sound as exhausted as she felt.

Carlos chuckled bitterly. “What, you think you got a choice? Ay Chiqui, you’re supposed to be smarter than me.”

She smiled. “I am smarter than you.” She murmured, sniffing lightly.

Chiqui, the nickname she held when she was tiny and braver than she should be.

She was sure visiting hours were ending soon, and they would have to part. However she thought this would end, she didn’t expect... well, an uneasy truce. It was probably in the name of people they no longer were, but in the end, she doubted that really mattered. “There are things happening in the place I’m staying in. Shit is stirring and I don’t know if I’ll be able to do anything before then, but when I do...”

“Quiero saber. [I want to know.]” He said with a twinge of a plea in his tone.

Cat nodded. “Okay.” It was less than perfect and not at all a promise, but more like an invitation. An open door into the family they had once been. The afternoons spent boxing in their back yard and shooting bottles in the woods. The speeches about being strong and proud in the face of adversity, and the way he used to sing to her mama. It was slowly edging through the anger and resentment she had built around his name and image in her mind. The blame she placed upon him .

And even those images fluttered through her mind and steadied her heart, it didn’t ebb away the anger. If anything, it deepened it to her soul. It was not one parent she was robbed of, after all, but two.

The guards soon announced that they should all say their goodbyes. It didn’t seem like enough time, but she supposed that was point. Catalina stared at Carlos, unsure of what to say or do. He stood and she followed, her fingers brushing against the plastic table between them.

“Take care of yourself.” He said.

She nodded. “You too.”

Another moment passed by with the two of them simply standing there. And then Carlos was around the table, his arms around her in a tight hug. It brought her back to when she was a kid, and those same arms lifted her high in the sky and helped her fend off imaginary monsters. Her father, her Papá, the only thing she had left on this planet. He kissed the top of her head and stepped back before the guards could warn them.

“Ve por ellas, chiqui. [Go get them, chiqui.]

With that, he disappeared out the door he came, leaving her behind at the table. She blinked as the sting of tears swept down her cheeks, the weight that had been on her chest for weeks still prevalent, but less so. She even felt like taking a good nap. But above all, she felt a renewed spirit well in her, hungry and angry.

She had work to do.

#tw anxiety #tw alcohol #tw self medicating #sort of #tw murder #tw grief #tw death #tw drug use #tw prison #tw imprisonment

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alediazpizarro · 3 years

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Senior Soundtrack

Music is a love language. Lo he tuiteado, lo he dicho, y —con ustedes— lo he vivido. Parte de mis 7 años en ASF ha sido la música que he compartido: canciones que son intereses en común, recomendaciones, o hasta tracks de obras de teatro que nunca voy a borrar de mi memoria. After all, de eso se trata la música en parte: de acordarse. Y sepan que cada vez que oiga una de las canciones en esta lista, va junto con su recuerdo. A todos ustedes, de todo corazón, gracias. No sé que sería de mi vida sin ustedes.

Les dejo la playlist que construyeron conmigo, whether you knew it or not, de 2014 para acá.

PS: si no aparece su nombre en esta lista de canciones, lo único que quiere decir es que we have yet to share a song. Los adoro a todos.

Abarca

Burn · Lin Manuel Miranda You have the voice of an angel, and every time I think of this song I no longer hear it in Philippa Soo’s voice, but in yours.

Tuyo · Rodrigo Amarante Dancing Kermit.

Alexander

"Eungenio” Salvador Dalí · Mecano We love the music, hate the lyrics.

Na Na Na · My Chemical Romance Debate bus trips. Blasting it from the backseat, with Nesquik and cold pasta at hand.

I’m Not Okay · My Chemical Romance “¿Estos son los Rolling Stones?”

Being Alive · Stephen Sondheim Life’s dream: be Bobby. Not literally. That would suck.

If I Could Tell Her · Benj Pasek & Justin Paul You once said this is the song you would dedicate to me. Though I think we’ve grown past that, I will always remember how warm it made me feel when you said it.

Ana

Isle of Flightless Birds · Twenty One Pilots Ya sé que me odias, pero DARARAAAARAAA

I’m Low on Gas and You Need a Jacket · Pierce The Veil El concierto que más he disfrutado en mi vida (and that’s saying a lot), y parte de por qué fue porque fui contigo. Lloramos en esta canción y en el video que grabé con mi horrible teléfono se oye lo feo que cantamos.

In the Aeroplane Over the Sea · Neutral Milk Hotel De un Tiktok (de miles) que me mandaste pero de los pocos que sí abrí.

Numb · Linkin Park WAWAWAWAWAWA

Anna

Fashionista · Jimmy James Really obscure pre-middle school memory, pero every time it gets stuck in my head me acuerdo de ver el lyrics video en el ballet y la miss Celia regañándonos.

Ari

Life Itself · Glass Animals It slaps. Plus, concert.

Remember When · Wallows My favorite song in my “Drive” playlist, cada vez que sale I remember sitting in the backseat of your dad’s car and you turning the volume up so we could drive over the Reforma speed limit with this blasting.

The Cave of Two Lovers · That LSD guy from Avatar SECRET TUNNEL!!!!!!!! SECRET TUNNEL!!!! THROUGH THE MOUNTAIN!!!! SECRET SECRET SECRET SECRET TUNNEEEEEEEL!!!! (No Spotify version, so here’s the surf rock cover.)

Covarrubias

Toxic · A Static Lullaby Flashbacks a clase de Ms. Miranda en 7º.

Back to Black · Amy Winehouse No puedo oír esta canción sin acordarme de tu audición para Grease. Rizzo could-have-been?

Diana

The Adults Are Talking · The Strokes Es chill yet vaguely nostalgic Diana vibes to the max.

Stuck on the Puzzle · Alex Turner Thank you for liking Alex Turner. :`)

Dark Red · Steve Lacy Memorias de una tarde que pasamos armando Repentinos con una mini guillotina y pláticas de Dinamarca.

Diego

Thinking of a Place · The War on Drugs La primera que me recomendaste, y la mejor para manejar de noche.

Vissi d’Arte · Giacomo Puccini No creo que hubiera visto Tosca si no me la hubieras recomendado. Qué bueno que lo hiciste, porque esta aria se volvió de mis favoritas.

Money · Pink Floyd Alguna vez jugamos music trivia en el salón de Stearns y me acuerdo de que yo todavía no la ubicaba pero tú la adivinaste sin problema. Years later, eres la persona que sé que le gusta Pink Floyd tanto como a mí. Lástima de Roger. :(

Layla · Derek & The Dominoes Este año tuve un classic rock renaissance que empezó, you guessed it, cuando me recomendaste esta. Clapton no falla.

Klavierkonzert Nr. 21, No. 2 “Andante” · Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart También me hiciste escuchar mucha más música clásica de la que conocía, y aprendí a disfrutarla. Esta sigue siendo mi favorita.

Sara · Fleetwood Mac De las pocas de Fleetwood Mac que no conocía pero que me recomendaste en uno de esos exchanges a las 12 am y que oí con audífonos in the dark.

Resguardum Ether · León Larregui También de las pocas de este cuate que nunca había oído pero que se volvió de mis favoritas.

Fer

Good Life · OneRepublic Buenas vibes.

Can’t Fight This Feeling · REO Speedwagon Horton --> improvised conciertos en el baño.

What the Heck I Gotta Do · Lin Manuel Miranda Más conciertos de regadera/vestidor en lo que nos arreglamos juntas.

Beth · KISS El club Glee y el karaoke en el Wii.

Miss Jackson · Panic! At The Disco No lo vas a admitir, pero te gusta mi música y lo sabes. Anytime que dudas, sólo es cuestión de ponerte esta.

The Man · The Killers Nada como nuestros buenos trips manejando de noche.

Fernando

The Bad Touch · Bloodhound Gang You and me, baby, we ain’t nothing but mammals...

EugeRiq

This Life · Vampire Weekend Siempre que la oigo pienso en ti.

I Wear Glasses · Mating Ritual Me la recomendaste en alguna de mis countless Close Friends stories.

Jose

I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) · The Proclaimers Picture it: a gaggle of eight or so kids marching around Cumbres de Santa Fe loudly screaming this in a terrible Scottish accent after watching a horror movie.

Somebody Else · Clones of Clones A bop!

Ocean Man · Ween I will only say four words: Lord of the Flies.

Lauro

Desencuentro · Residente ft. Soko Clases de Domínguez contigo were always lovely. Plus, who could forget the iconic “NO HAY SEÑAL”?

I Don’t Know How to Love · The Drums Otra de cuando we were still developing our own music tastes.

Luz

Papaoutai · Stromae De cuando estábamos haciendo Haiti research and really wanted to get into the francophone mindset.

Moonlight Sonata · Ludwig Van Beethoven Those Knowledge Bowl kids never saw it coming.

Beware of the Boys (Mundian To Bach Ke) · Panjabi MC Memoria tangible de Vancouver: cuando pusiste esta en el restaurante indio al que fuimos.

Madison

I Know Things Now · Stephen Sondheim No sé cuántas veces me ayudaste a ensayar esta canción. Me ayudaste muchísimo todo Into the Woods, y desde ahí en 6º sé que te tengo como amiga.

Mare

Rumour Has It · Adele ¿Te acuerdas del proyecto que hicimos de Mr. Kamm en 7º estilo “fleas on rats”? Literal después de que usamos esta canción ya no puedo cantar las lyrics de la original.

Mariana

Bitter Sweet Symphony · The Verve La oíamos dizque “para concentrarnos” en el salón de Austin.

Pas de Quatre from Swan Lake · Piotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky De cuando te fui a ver bailar ballet con Fran. :)

Tú y Yo Somos Uno Mismo · Timbiriche EL SOL

Manu

Fly Away · Laid Back The moment you played this at Montero’s party you literally made everyone be vibing. It’s like the Fairy Godmother of Chill. That was also the day you stopped being “Manu from TEDx” and were just “Manu” there on. Probably ��cause you appreciated my ability to drive a stick. :`)

MDRH

Choke · I Don’t Know How But They Found Me I wouldn’t like this Dallon spinoff as much as I do without you. It’s like emo, but evolved, mature— like you. In a good, compliment-y way.

Oceans · Frank Iero Remember when we were gonna see him in concert? :( Thanks for being the only person with whom I can enjoy weird throaty emo screamy shit. At least the guitar is good.

House of Wolves · My Chemical Romance Something about the aggressive guitar and fast pace of this song has always reminded me of you.

Mich

Tear in my Heart · Twenty One Pilots Your Koreaboo initiation before you even knew it.

The Kids Aren’t Alright · Fall Out Boy Remember the lyrics from this I wrote as a dedication in your eighth grade yearbook? I meant them.

I Write Sins Not Tragedies · Panic! At The Disco I CHIME IN—

She’s My Winona · Fall Out Boy Something about Folie à Deux, and especially about this song, always carries a you vibe.

Perfect · Simple Plan From when you got angsty and Montes called you out on it. Then it became a bit of a joke.

One of THOSE Nights · The Cab Back in seventh grade, this was the most ambitious crossover ever attempted.

Montse

I Want To Hold Your Hand · The Beatles De cuando saturamos la rockola del Johnny Rocket’s con 15 canciones y pensaron que no servía. But we knew. Plus, a really fun Snapchat video de nosotras bajando las escaleras a tambos y aplausos con esta canción.

Something · The Beatles Too bad Eric Clapton stole George Harrison’s wife.

I Am the Walrus · The Beatles Want to feel what it’s like to do acid without actually doing it? Play this song on Rock Band!

Don’t You (Forget About Me) · Simple Minds De la única pijamada que me han dejado hacer, donde vimos tu película favorita. An unforgettable night with an unforgettable person.

Pato

Hit the Back · King Princess The best experience of my life was one I’m glad I shared with you. Still want to murder those Rock Lobster loiterers though— blocked us from KP. >:(

Just the Same · Bruno Major I had never heard of him, but to be next to you enjoying him, with our KP t-shirts in my bag and just-refilled water bottles, was one of the highlights of my night.

The Louvre · Lorde Remember when we played Melodrama in your bedroom? This is the song that I feel best captivates that: shoes on the floor, laying softly on the bed, sunlight streaming in through the window, the vinyl spinning, and a general feeling of levity.

No You Girls · Franz Ferdinand Friendly reminder of literally the worst physical experience of our lives. :))))

The Other Side of Paradise · Glass Animals The first GA song I ever showed you, which is a nice chain thing because it’s the first GA song I ever listened to that Jordan showed me. And a birthday vinyl we played in your room.

Romina

The Only Thing · Sufjan Stevens This entire album is your personality. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.

Futile Devices · Sufjan Stevens Same as above. It’s not your fault you’re a Sufjan Suf-stan. But every time I listen to Sufjan I remember you playing him at the Open Mic. That’s a very nice feeling.

Mama · My Chemical Romance Indisputably goes HARD and hey what are mommy issues without a little angst/general gender confusion?

Sam

Goodie Bag · Still Woozy El día del college fair que estuvimos juntas al principio y conocimos a la USC rep que nos cagó traías tu camisa de Still Woozy. Since then, el grupo me recuerda a ti.

Vale

Heart of Glass · Miley Cyrus Tú viviste esta out-of-body transcendental experience al mismo tiempo que yo, el día de mi cena.

Don’t Stop · Fleetwood Mac Espero que ya te guste Rumours completo. :)

Yuhis

Chiquitita · ABBA I didn’t know you could sing. After listening to you sing this one (and almost crying), I wondered why you didn’t do it more often.

Beauty School Dropout · Frankie Avalon I am sorry pero literal I can only think of this song in your voice. Iconic!

Gracias por todo. Los quiero. Los voy a extrañar.

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halfofwhatisayismeaningless · 5 years

Text

Creating life. // dad!Joe Mazzello. Part 1 (?)

AN. Hey there!!!! So I wrote this, that is sad, angst, fluff and ecouraging at the same time. And it may or may not have a second part (depends on how much you like it). Remember you have the REQUEST OPEN (please send some I’M BORED), and the spanish version is after the english one. Let me know what you think of this :) The tag list is also open.

Summary. (Y/N) and Joe want to start a family.

Words. 1k.

Warnings: pregnancy, hospitals, blood.

You had been trying for five months, since the day after the wedding. You both knew that there were people that got it on the first try, and there were others that had to wait years. Someway, you were in between.

"Who is going to look at it first? You or me?" Joe asked. "What about both at the same time?" you responded, hesitant. "How long do we have?" you look at your phone. "Two minutes" Joe took your hand. You were sitting on the couch, in that awesome house that you shared. "Joe, I don't want you to get disappointed if it's negative, it's normal. There are couples who try for years." Joe looked at you, appreciating the attempt of making him calm. "I know, honey, but I want it so bad."

It was true, you wanted it, but Joe was nuts about it. He counted the days of your menstrual cycle,he had like ten apps of pregnancy search, he loved kids and the idea of creating them with you. Suddenly the music that said that the two minutes were over started playing. You looked at each other. You took the pregnancy test without looking at it "Wait. I wanna hug you first." you surrounded him with your small arms comparing to his. You separated and said. "At the count of three: one, two and three."

The next thing you heard was Joe welling "It's positive, we are gonna be parents."

Two and a half months after you were approaching the end of the first trimester of pregnancy and because of you being so skinny, a little bump was starting to show up. You heard the door of your house while you were cooking dinner. "Honey, I'm home." Joe shouted "We're here, in the kitchen." your husband entered and kissed you, then he got on his knees and lifted your sweater "Good afternoon to the both of you. How are you feeling today?" you smiled. "Good, a bit weird, and my back hurts, but good."

You two had dinner, saw an episode of that tv show that was starting and went to bed "Good night, Joe" Joe approached to your tummy "Good night, alien. Good night, (Y/N)." he approached you to his chest. You woke up three hours later, the weird feeling you had all day was bigger. You went to the bathroom, when you turned on the light and saw your reflexion in the mirror your eyes started filling up with tears. You went back to the room running.

"Joe... Joe wake up" you shook the shoulder of the love of your life, that woke up startled, especially when he saw the tears on your cheeks. "Love, what happens?" he turned on the light. "I went to the bathroom and... there's a lot of blood, Joe." Joe looked at your pants, which had a very big stain of blood. "Okey, okey, keep calm, it's fine. Change your clothes while I dress and take the doctor papers."

The common sense of the relationship had been a weight that you had been wearing with happiness, being "the coherent one". But the pregnancy made you very sensitive and Joe knew that.

You did what Joe said, and ten minutes after, you were in your car going to the hospital. You looked out of the window, your eyes filled up with tears. Joe took your hand. "Don't worry, we've read that sometimes happens and it's not bad." you nodded "I don't want to disappoint you." Joe holded your hand tighter "You wouldn't disappoint me even if you tried, I'm so proud of you." you smiled at him between tears "I love you, Joe." you got to the hospital entry "And I love you, babe." Joe got down the car before you and opened your door to find you in pain, with a hand on your tummy. "Where does it hurt?" you tried to take some air and get down the car. "In the uterus, like a really bad period." you looked at Joe's face, he was really scared. But he was fighting a lot to not look like it. He helped you going out the car and walk to the hospital door. Once inside he helped you to get to one of the chairs and went to the counter with the papers of the baby.

It didn't took long to a doctor to come and get you on a wheelchair. "You can't be in the next tests, we will tell you to come in in half an hour, more or less." Joe nodded and kissed your forehead. While five doctors surrounded you, Joe was alone, crying out all the tension of the last two hours. Half an hour later they called him in, they were going to do an ultrasound and the father of the kid could watch it. When Joe came in he got to your side. "How are you?" you stroked his face, with that three or four days beard. You could perfectly tell that he had cried a lot "A bit sleepy by the sedative they gave me, but I'm better now that you are here." Joe kissed you while the gynecologist put the ultrasound gel on your belly. Your uterus appeared on the screen, the embryo was there like the last time, but something was missing, that heart movement that gave you so much hope. "Mrs. (Y/LN) - Mazzello, I'm sorry to tell you that you had a miscarriage." you felt your eyes filled up with tears again. "The embryo is very little, so you will expel it without any meds. But if you feel really bad, you should visit a psychologist." you nodded, hearing Joe say "Thank you very much, doctor." he left the room, giving you both some time alone. Joe hugged you, making some room to cry on the gap of your neck. You both cried, and said nothing. After a while Joe said, "Let's go home, love." And you did, during the ride home no one said anything. No one said anything when you went to bed. And no one said anything before getting some sleep, even though neither of you could close your eyes.

You couldn't bear being more time on bed without having any sleep, so you went to the kitchen to make tea. Half an hour later, when you were sitting in a chair, looking through the window, Joe got to the lounge. "Do you wanna talk about what happened?" you stood up, nodding and sat down on the couch, he did the same thing. "I'm sorry" you said, Joe looked at you with a strange look on his face. "Why? This is not your fault." you sighed. "I know, but you wanted this so bad, and you were going to be such a good dad..." Joe holded your hand, stroking your knuckles. "And we will, (Y/N), I wanna keep trying if you want to. This happens to a lot of people the first time. I love you and I want you to be the mother our kids." you looked at him, with dreamy eyes. "And what if my body can handle a pregnancy?" Joe touched your face. "I don't think that is what happened, and if it is, well, there's a lot of kids out there waiting to be adopted. But I'm sure we will create another life."

And you did, a year later you both were with your gynecologist listening to the heartbeat of a new life. "I told you, I told you we could create another life." Joe said, with tears running down his cheeks.

Lo habíais estado intentando cinco meses, prácticamente a partir del día siguiente de la boda. Ambos sabíais que igual que había gente que tardaba un mes, otros tardaban años. De alguna forma, vosotros estabais entre medias.

"¿Quién lo mira? ¿Tú o yo?" te preguntó Joe. "¿Los dos a la vez?" respondiste tú dubitativa. "¿Cuánto le quedan?" miraste el cronómetro de tú móvil "Dos minutos." Joe te dio la mano. Ambos estabais sentados en el sofá de aquella maravillosa casa que compartíais. "Joe, no quiero que te desanimes si el resultado es negativo, es normal. Las parejas tardan más." Joe te miró, agradeciendo el intento de tranquilizarle. "Lo sé, cariño, pero tengo muchas ganas"

Era cierto, tú tenías ganas, pero Joe estaba como loco. Contaba los días del ciclo, llevaba instaladas como 10 aplicaciones de búsqueda de embarazo, le encantaban los niños, y la idea de crearlos junto a ti. De repente sonó la música que indicaba que los minutos de espera habían terminado. Ambos os mirasteis. Cogiste el test de embarazo sin mirarlo "Espera. Quiero abrazarte primero." le rodeaste con tus pequeños brazos en comparación con los suyos. Os separasteis y dijiste: "A la de tres: una, dos y tres."

Lo próximo que oíste fue a Joe gritar "Es positivo, vamos a ser padres."

Y así habían pasado dos meses y medio, acercándote al final del primer trimestre de embarazo y a causa de tu complexión flaca, ya iba asomando una pequeña tripa. Oíste la puerta de casa mientras cocinabas. "Cariño, estoy en casa." oíste a Joe. "Estamos en la cocina." tú marido entró y te dio un beso, después se arrodilló y levantó su jersey "Buenas tardes, a los dos. ¿Qué tal te encuentras?" tu sonreíste. "Bien, un poco rara, y me duele la espalda. Pero bien."

Cenasteis, visteis un capítulo de la serie que estabais empezando en ese momento y os metiste en la cama, "Buenas noches, Joe." Joe se acercó a tú tripa "Buenas noches, alien. Buenas noches (Y/N)" dijo acercándose sobre tú pecho. Te despertarte tres horas después, el sentimiento extraño que habías sentido durante todo el día se había hecho más presente. Te levantaste al baño, cuando encendiste la luz y viste tu reflejo en el espejo se te llenaron los ojos de lágrimas. Volviste corriendo a la habitación.

"Joe... Joe despierta" sacudiste al amor de tú vida, que se despertó sobresaltado, sobre todo al ver las lágrimas en tu cara. "Cariño ¿Qué pasa?" dijo encendiendo la luz "He ido al baño y... Y hay mucha sangre Joe..." Joe miró a tus pantalones, que efectivamente tenían una importante mancha de sangre. "Vale, vale, tranquila, no pasa nada. Cámbiate mientras me pongo algo de ropa y cojo los papeles del médico."

La cordura en la relación había sido un peso que tú llevabas con alegría, siendo la "coherente". Pero el embarazo te hacía muy sensible y Joe lo sabía.

Hiciste lo que Joe había dicho, y diez minutos después salíais del garaje en dirección del hospital. Tú mirabas por la ventana, los ojos llenos de lágrimas. Joe te cogió la mano "No te preocupes, hemos leído que a veces pasa y no tiene porqué ser malo." tú asentiste "No quiero decepcionarte." Joe te apretó la mano "No lo harías ni aunque lo intentaras, estoy muy orgulloso de ti." le miraste, sonriendo entre lágrimas "Te quiero, Joe." llegasteis a la entrada del hospital "Y yo a ti, nena." Joe se bajó antes que tú, cuando abrió la puerta te encontró con cara de dolor, y una mano en la tripa "¿Dónde te duele?" tú intentaste coger aire para salir "En el útero, como si fuera una menstruación muy mala" viste la cara de Joe, de verdad tenía miedo. Pero se estaba esforzando mucho para que no lo notaras. Te ayudó a salir del coche y a andar hasta la puerta del hospital. Una vez dentro te sentó en una de las sillas y fue al mostrador con la carpeta de papeles en mano.

No tardaron en venir a por ti y llevarte en una silla de ruedas. "En las próximas pruebas no va a poder entrar, le avisaremos en media hora." Joe asintió y te dio un beso en la cabeza. Mientras cinco médicos te rodeaban, Joe se quedó solo, expulsando por fin la tensión de las dos últimas horas llorando. Media hora después le avisaron, iban a hacerte una ecografía, y el padre de la criatura podía verla. Cuando llegó Joe se acercó a tú lado. "¿Qué tal estás?" le acariciaste la cara, con barba de tres o cuatro días, podías ver perfectamente que había llorado mucho. "Un poco dormida por los calmantes que me han dado, pero mejor ahora que estás tú aquí." Joe te besó, mientras el ginecólogo te ponía el gel para la ecografía. Tú útero apareció en la pantalla, el embrión estaba ahí como las últimas veces, pero faltaba algo, ese movimiento de corazón que tanta esperanza te había dado. "Señora (Y/LN) - Mazzello, me temo que ha tenido un aborto espontáneo." volviste a sentir tus ojos llenos de lágrimas. "Cómo el embrión es pequeño, podrá expulsarlo sin ayuda de un medicamento. Pero si se siente muy mal, es recomendable visitar a un psicólogo." tú asentiste, oyendo a Joe por detrás decir "Muchas gracias, doctor." este se levantó y se fue de la sala, diciendo que os dejaba un rato solos. Joe te abrazó, haciéndose un hueco en tu cuello. Ambos llorasteis, no dijisteis nada. Después de un rato Joe dijo "Vámonos a casa, mi amor." Y así fue, durante el viaje en coche nadie dijo nada. Nadie dijo nada cuando volvisteis a meteros en la cama. Y nadie dijo nada antes de dormir, aunque ninguno de los dos erais capaces de cerrar los ojos.

Tú no soportaste estar más tiempo en la cama sin dormir, así que fuiste a la cocina a hacer té. Media hora después, cuando tú estabas en una silla, mirando por la ventana, Joe entró en el salón. "¿Quieres hablar de lo que ha pasado?" tú te levantaste, asintiendo y sentándote en el sofá, él hizo lo mismo. "Lo siento." dijiste, Joe te miró extrañado "¿Por qué? Esto no es tú culpa." tú suspiraste "Lo se, pero lo querías tanto, e ibas a ser tan buen padre..." Joe te dio la mano, masajeando tus nudillos. "Lo seremos, (Y/N), yo quiero seguir intentándolo si tú quieres. A mucha gente le pasa esto la primera vez. Te quiero y quiero que seas la madre de nuestros hijos." le miraste, con ojos soñadores. "¿Y si resulta que mi cuerpo no puede soportar un embarazo?" Joe te acarició la cara. "No creo que sea eso, y si lo es, bueno, hay muchos niños ahí fuera esperando a ser adoptados. Pero estoy seguro de que volveremos a crear una vida."

Y así fue, un año después estabais escuchando en la consulta del ginecólogo el corazón de una nueva vida. "Te lo dije, te dije que volveríamos a crear una vida." dijo Joe, con lágrimas cayendo por sus mejillas.

Tag list: @almurg

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valeriacastaneda · 3 years

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Feb 1, 2021

I feel like this is no longer my burden to hold onto alone. I’ve stayed quiet for over 20 years and I’ve been suffocating because of it. I don’t feel like this is something I should take to my grave anymore because it’s made me sick for so many years. I now believe this sickness has shown itself through my self-harm, suicidal ideation, drug addiction, and my eating disorder. I’m not sharing this to make you guys mad at anyone or to upset you but because it’s something normal and a lot of kids have gone through similar things. I’ve made myself think I was alone in this for the entirety of my life. Something bad happened to me when I was around 3 years old and I want to share it with you guys. I want you guys to understand that I love you but I feel like I wasn’t protected by you guys while I was growing up. I feel a lot of forgiveness in my heart and I just want to heal from this and move on. I want all of us to heal from this. It’s not my work to do alone. I’ve had to struggle with this for the entirety of my life and I no longer want to keep this a secret. I want to reassure you guys for my love for you and our family but I also want you guys to understand why I think I became the way I am. I’m trying to end this internal struggle and I’m filled with compassion and understanding, no longer am I filled with resentment towards anyone. I’ve been traumatized over and over again throughout my life and I’m not ready to share everything with you guys but I’m ready to share this. I don’t know who I could have been if this had never happened to me, none of us can change the past or its effect on me. I just want to be understood and not judged for this. I want your love and acceptance and I’ve feared sharing this secret for so many years. I would have died with this secret but it’s been slowly killing me for decades at this point, I don’t want to die with this secret dragging me down. I want to let it go and move on with my life. I’m tired of this weighing me down. I’ve been filled with shame, disgust, and resentment for so many years of my life. No one told me to keep this quiet, it’s something I felt was wrong within me after it happened and I was filled with guilt. Guilt and shame kept me quiet. I didn’t feel like I could completely trust either of you after that. I wonder if you ever noticed something was different about me after that or if I truly hid it as well as I felt I did. This secret ate me up from the inside out. I just want to reassure you of how much I love you both and that I forgive you. I don’t want this to be a fight between you or the rest of my family. This is a trauma we all went through, it’s a family trauma and it’s time we heal from it. I hope you believe me because my biggest fear has always been rejection. I would never lie about something that I went through and I wouldn’t make this up and I hope you both believe me. I love you both so much and I want our family to be stronger after this. I’m so worried about ruining our family but this secret has been ruining me for the entirety of my life.

Siento que esta ya no es mi carga a la que aferrarme solo. Me he quedado callada durante más de 20 años y me he estado asfixiando por eso. Ya no siento que esto sea algo que deba llevarme a la tumba porque me ha enfermado durante tantos años. Ahora creo que esta enfermedad se ha manifestado a través de mi autolesión, ideas suicidas, adicción a las drogas y mi trastorno alimentario. No estoy compartiendo esto para hacerlos enojar con nadie o para molestarlos, sino porque es algo normal y muchos niños han pasado por cosas similares. Me he hecho pensar que estaba solo en esto durante toda mi vida. Algo malo me pasó cuando tenía alrededor de 3 años y quiero compartirlo con ustedes. Quiero que entiendan que los amo, pero siento que ustedes no me protegieron mientras crecía. Siento mucho perdón en mi corazón y solo quiero curarme de esto y seguir adelante. Quiero que todos nos curemos de esto. No es mi trabajo hacerlo solo. He tenido que luchar con esto durante toda mi vida y ya no quiero mantener esto en secreto. Quiero tranquilizarlos por mi amor por ustedes y nuestra familia, pero también quiero que entiendan por qué creo que me convertí en lo que soy. Estoy tratando de terminar con esta lucha interna y estoy lleno de compasión y comprensión, ya no estoy lleno de resentimiento hacia nadie. He estado traumatizado una y otra vez a lo largo de mi vida y no estoy listo para compartir todo con ustedes, pero estoy listo para compartir esto. No sé quién podría haber sido si esto nunca me hubiera pasado, ninguno de nosotros puede cambiar el pasado o su efecto en mí. Solo quiero que me entiendan y no me juzguen por esto. Quiero tu amor y aceptación y he temido compartir este secreto durante tantos años. Habría muerto con este secreto, pero me ha estado matando lentamente durante décadas en este punto, no quiero morir con este secreto arrastrándome. Quiero dejarlo ir y seguir adelante con mi vida. Estoy cansado de que esto me agobie. He estado lleno de vergüenza, disgusto y resentimiento durante tantos años de mi vida. Nadie me dijo que mantuviera esto en silencio, es algo que sentí que estaba mal dentro de mí después de que sucedió y me sentí lleno de culpa. La culpa y la vergüenza me mantuvieron callado. No sentí que pudiera confiar completamente en ninguno de ustedes después de eso. Me pregunto si alguna vez notaste que algo era diferente en mí después de eso o si realmente lo escondí tan bien como sentí que lo hice. Este secreto me comió de adentro hacia afuera. Solo quiero asegurarles lo mucho que los amo a ambos y que los perdono. No quiero que esto sea una pelea entre tú o el resto de mi familia. Este es un trauma por el que pasamos todos, es un trauma familiar y es hora de que nos recuperemos. Espero que me crean porque mi mayor miedo siempre ha sido el rechazo. Nunca mentiría sobre algo por lo que pasé y no lo inventaría y espero que ambos me crean. Los amo mucho a los dos y quiero que nuestra familia sea más fuerte después de esto. Estoy tan preocupado por arruinar a nuestra familia, pero este secreto me ha estado arruinando durante toda mi vida.

When I was a little kid my brothers and I were in their room. They were playing video games and I wanted to watch. I think they had just gotten out of the shower. They told me I could either lick the floor or one of their private parts if I wanted to stay. They told me they were cleaner than the floor and I was too little to know the difference. I think they were too little to understand what they were doing too. I don’t hold any blame towards either of them. I can’t remember exactly which brother it was but I think it was Bryan. I don’t want there to be any blame placed on anyone because we were all children, too young to understand. But it affected me deeply and profoundly. I felt shame immediately afterwards and I knew what had happened was wrong in my gut. I’m only sharing this now because it’s something that’s affected the entire course of my life. I just want you to understand that there’s no one to blame and that we need to heal as a family. I love you and our family so much, I don’t want this to change our love for each other. I just don’t feel like I should have to die with this secret anymore. To move on, I have to share it. I hope you understand that.

Cuando era pequeño, mis hermanos y yo estábamos en su habitación. Estaban jugando videojuegos y yo quería verlos. Creo que acababan de salir de la ducha. Me dijeron que podía lamer el suelo o una de sus partes íntimas si quería quedarme. Me dijeron que estaban más limpios que el suelo y que yo era muy pequeño para notar la diferencia. Creo que también eran muy pequeños para entender lo que estaban haciendo. No culpo a ninguno de ellos. No recuerdo exactamente qué hermano era, pero creo que era Bryan. No quiero que se culpe a nadie porque todos éramos niños, demasiado pequeños para entender. Pero me afectó profundamente. Sentí vergüenza inmediatamente después y supe que lo que había sucedido estaba mal en mi interior. Solo estoy compartiendo esto ahora porque es algo que ha afectado todo el curso de mi vida. Solo quiero que entiendas que no hay nadie a quien culpar y que tenemos que curarnos como familia. Te amo tanto a ti y a nuestra familia, no quiero que esto cambie nuestro amor el uno por el otro. Simplemente ya no siento que deba tener que morir con este secreto. Para seguir adelante, tengo que compartirlo. Espero que lo entiendas.

#mom and dad #therapy assignment

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pinkcaseotakadl · 7 years

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Diabolik lovers ‘’5th Anniversary book ‘’ [Laito’s interview] ~translation|traducción~

Thanks to @bittersweet-faerietale for having helped me with the translation!!

1. Right now, what are you into?

Nfu♪ Are you interested in what I'm into~? Well, since you asked, I'll tell you♪ Recently I'm interested in this camera. It has a good performance~ With this I can take pictures of those places of Bitch-chan~♪ Hey, It's okay, right?

2. What kind of fashion are you into lately?

If I had to tell my fashion, then it are the hats♪ I'm recently wearing different shapes' hats~ Rounder hats, or larger hats.I recently tried using one with feathers.

3. What habits do you have that you’ll do without realizing?

My habits? You mean like when I'm in town and I see a girl but my eyes drift to her legs? Or like when I imagine what color underwear she is wearing, or what type of design will they have?But that's just my instincts, so it can't be helped~ Ah, but as I thought, Bitch-chan's legs are the best~

4. How do you spend your days-off?

Of course you ask when I do this~ and that~ with Bitch-chan? Ohhh~? Could it be that you just recently thought of unusual things? That's bad~I have not really said anything indecent, you know~?Besides I am a gentleman, so what Bitch-chan wants to do, or the place where she wants to go, is what we will do on our date~

5. What do you wear to sleep?

Such a thing how you are interested about what clothes I sleep... You are a per-vert♪ But that's fine, I'll tell you especially.I wear usual pajamas, one that is smooth to the touch, so when you touch your skin on the fabric it feels nice~

6. What do you definitely do before sleeping?

Of course, I give Bitch-chan a goodnight's kiss~ If I don't have enough of Bitch-chan then I'll not be able to sleep~Just kidding~ Well, it's not just a kiss, but still the rest is a secret of Bitch-chan and mine.

7. What part of your body you like the best?

Of course, it's the mole that I have on the corner of my mouth♪ Moles are sexy. Besides, is not it exciting to find moles on unusual places?

8. What do you like the most of your room?

What I like the most, huh~ As I thought, it's my bed. The dreams you have in bed can be obscene, nfu♪ Besides, sleeping in it feels nice, it's perfect.It's so large that we can sleep together, and there is even room for two more pillows

9. Tell us one memorable impression that you have of yours brothers.

Let's see, even if you ask me to remember it, it's complicated. Since we have spent a lot of time together.I have a lot of silly/absurd memories, you know? Like when I ate Kanato-kun's macarons, and he got angry. Or like when I got involved in Ayato's joke and Reiji got angry~

10. What you think of KarlHeinz?

I don't know anything about that person~. What is that person thinking? Well, apart from him [that person] nobody else knows what he's thinking [That person].I don't think about him at all. For now.

11. Where would you go on a date?

Mmm~ Where would it be okay? To a store where there are lots of macarons? Bitch-chan likes sweet things too.And also, it's a bit simple, but maybe to a theme park? Riding the mechanical attractions, so that her skirt starts to shake when we climb into those attractions, and also flirt within the wheel of fortune~That would be pretty fun.

12. What does a girl do to make your heart skip a beat?

When women cross their legs. The beautiful legs of girl being crossed, sounds good. Without noticing, I finish looking at them~When they have black stockings, and high heels look more sexy. Now I'll tell Bitch-chan to wear that.

13. How does her blood taste?

Bitch-chan's Butler, Laito-kun, will tell you especially to you~ The flavor of Bitch-chan's blood, is a mischievous taste♪It's so sweet and thick, once you taste it, you will not think of anything other than blood to the point where you feel sick.Once you feel the scent of her blood, you will not be able to breathe.

14. From which body part do you like to suck her blood?

From your thighs, perhaps it's not obvious~ Once you bite those soft thighs from Bitch-chan's legs, her sweet blood will flow through your mouth... ahh, just imagining it made me wants to drink her blood~

15. What does her existence mean to you?

What is Bitch-chan for me? Let's see, Bitch-chan is special. For me, she's the only special girl that I drink blood from in this world.Because there's no way I'm not interested in that naughty girl. From now on let's have a lot of fun, Bitch-chan♪

Español abajo~

1. En este momento, qué es lo que te gusta?

Nfu♪ Estas interesada en lo que mis gustos~? Bueno, ya que lo preguntaste te lo diré♪ En lo que recientemente estoy interesado es en esta cámara. Es de bastante rendimiento~ Con esto puedo tomar fotos de esos lugares y de aquellos lugares~ de Bitch-chan~♪ Oye, esta bien, no es así?

2. ¿Qué clase de moda estás teniendo últimamente?

Si tuviera que decir mi estilo, entonces son los sombreros♪ Recientemente estoy usando distintos sombreros con diferentes formas~ Los que son redondos, o los que son más grandes. Hace poco probé usar uno con plumas.

3. ¿Tienes algún hábito que haces sin darte cuenta?

Mis hábitos? Como cuando estoy en la ciudad y veo a una chica pero mis ojos se desvían a sus piernas? O como cuando imagino de qué color será la ropa interior que esta usando, o que tipo de diseño tendrán? Pero eso es sólo mi instinto, no puedo hacer nada al respecto~ Ah, pero como lo supuse, las piernas de Bitch-chan son las mejores~

4. ¿Como pasas tus días libres?

Por supuesto dices cuando hago esto~ y aquello~ con Bitch-chan? Ohhh~? Podría ser que recién acabas de pensar cosas raras? Eso esta maal~ Yo en realidad no he dicho nada indecente, sabes~? Además, yo soy u caballero, así que lo que quiera hacer Bitch-chan, o al lugar donde quiera ir, es lo que haremos en nuestra cita~

5. ¿Qué usas para dormir?

Algo como que te interese con que ropa duermo... eres una per-ver-ti-da♪ Pero esta bien, especialmente te lo diré. Yo uso un pijama común, uno que sea lizo al tacto, así cuando tocas la piel sobre de la tela se siente agradable~

6. ¿Qué es lo que definitivamemte haces antes de dormir?

Por supuesto, le doy a Bitch-chan un beso de las buenas noches~♪ Si no tengo suficiente de Bitch-chan entonces no podré dormir~ Sólo era broma~ Bueno, no es solamente un beso, pero aún así lo demás es un secreto de Bitch-cha y mio.

7. ¿Cual es la parte de tu cuerpo que más te gusta?

Por supuesto, es el lunar que tengo al costado de mi boca♪ Los lunares son sexys. Además, no es emocionante encontrar lunares en lugares inusuales?

8. ¿Qué es lo que más te gusta de tu habitación?

Lo que más me gusta, eh~ Como lo pensé, es mi cama. Los sueños que tienes en la cama son obscenos, nfu♪ Además, dormir en ella se siente agradable, es perfecta. Es tan grande que podemos dormir juntos, e incluso hay espacio para dos almohadas más.

9. Cuentanos un recuerdo con tus hermanos.

Veamos, aunque me pidas que recuerde, es algo complicado. Ya que nosotros hemos estado pasado mu~cho tiempo juntos. Tengo un montón de recuerdos tontos/absurdos, sabes? Como cuando me comí los macarrones de Kanato-kun, y lo hice enojar. O como cuando quedé atrapado en la broma de Ayato y Reiji se enojó~

10. ¿Qué piensas de KarlHeinz?

No sé nada de esa persona~. Qué es lo que esa persona estará pensando? Bueno, a parte de él[esa persona] nadie más sabe lo que esta pensando[Esa persona]. No pienso nada sobre él. Por ahora.

11. ¿A donde irias en una cita?

Mmm~, a donde estaría bien? A una tienda donde hayan muchos macarrones? A Bitch-chan también le gustan las cosas dulces. Y también, es algo simple, pero tal vez a un parque temático? Montar atracciones mecánicas, que su falda comience a agitarse cuando subamos a algún juego, y coquetear a dentro de la rueda de la fortuna~♪ Eso sería bastante divertido.

12. ¿Qué es lo que una chica hace para que tu corazón salte?

Cuando las mujeres cruzan sus piernas. Las hermosas piernas de una chica siendo cruzadas, suena bien. Sin darme cuenta las termino mirando~ Cuando tienen medias negras, y tacones altos lucen más sexys. Ahora le diré a Bitch-chan que vista eso.

13. ¿Como sabe su sangre?

El mayordomo de Bitch-chan, Laito-kun, te lo dirá especialmente a ti~ El gusto de la sangre de Bitch-chan, es un sabor travieso♪ Es tan dulce, espesa, una vez que la pruebes ya no pensarás en otra cosa que no sea la sangre hasta el punto en que te sientas enfermo. Una vez que sientas el aroma de su sangre ya no vas a poder respirar.

14. ¿De que parte de su cuerpo te gusta chupar la sangre?

De sus muslos, qué acaso no es obvio~ Una vez que muerdas esos suaves muslos de las piernas de Bitch-chan, su dulce sangre estará fluyendo por tu boca... Ahh, de sólo imaginarlo me dieron ganas de beber su sangre~

15. Qué existencia es ella para ti?

Qué es Bitch-chan para mí? Veaamos, Bitch-chan es especial. Para mi es la única chica especial dentro de este mundo de la cual bebo sangre. Porque no hay forma de que no me interese en esta chica tan traviesa. Desde ahora en adelante divertamosnos un montón, Bitch-chan♪

#diabolik lovers #raito sakamaki #laito sakamaki #translation #traduccion #interview #dialovers #diabolik lovers en español #diabolik lovers translation #5th anniversary book

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707morelikebreakmyheart · 7 years

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it was really fun to do this request since i’m hispanic myself! i hope you enjoy my writing and thank you for requesting me!

(also i posted this on mobile so i’m going to clean it up as time passes since it isn’t my best work, i’m sorry for that but thanks for understanding!)

YOOSUNG: -alright so he couldn’t tell that you were hispanic the first time he saw you -maybe it was the drugs he was on to treat his eye or just how tired he was but all he did was kiss you -even after the affects of the drugs wear off and y'all start dating he still can’t tell!! -it’s just he loves you and who you are as a person so much the thought of you being a different race than him completely slipped his mind -it wasn’t until you scolded him for never picking his clothes up from his bedroom floor did he notice the different language you used to scold him in -“no chinges yoosung! aver quien te va limpiar todo este pinche cochinero por qué no va hacer yo, es hora que empieces a recoger toda esta ropa dios mío santo!” you yelled boldly, the words coming out fast and harsh -(translation: are you fucking kidding yoosung? let’s see who’s gonna clean all this fucking mess because it’s not gonna be me. it’s time for you to start cleaning up all these clothes! for god’s sake!) -“what??” yoosung asked in a croaky tone as he stared at you like you had three heads -he was a little taken back but also intrigued because, spanish?? who?? what?? when?? where?? -it was embarrassing to have to tell him you tended to rant in spanish when you were upset but he was completely fine with it! it was a part of you and he had no right to tell you to stop -(he was a little sad that he found out about your spanish speaking abilities for the wrong reason though poor baby) -to him, your voice when you talked in spanish was different than the one when you talked in english or korean. -it was a good different. a really good different if you get my gist -(this dude was literally getting a stiffy from you scolding him about not picking up after himself what a loser-) -the tone you use and the way you pronounce words in spanish when scolding him is also a lot scarier than it is in any other language so you best believe he’s picking up after himself and trying his best to not upset you again -because despite the fact he loves the way you talk in spanish he wouldn’t want to get hit with a ‘chancla’ like you promised to do so oh so many times before when ranting at him -when you both get a little further into your relationship through the course of a few years he tends to push your buttons from time to time to let the latina side of you come out to either scold him or praise him -(either way he’s into it) -but other than those few times where he gets scared of your ranting or turned on he doesn’t mind it -he thinks it’s cool that you know another language besides korean and english!! -he even tries to learn some simple phrases for you but fails miserably -“y-yo, te quiero, m-macho?” -“yoosung i love you with all my heart and more but it’s mucho, not ‘macho’ sweetheart.” -“mc it’s the thought that counts now please kiss me and tell me i did good.” -he loves your latina side and your spanish rants and you love him so everything is right with the world -(also he gets turned on by you speaking spanish, so, there’s a that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

ZEN -when you first went to visit him at his house he was beyond s h o o k -you were so pretty? your features were so different than the ones of other girl’s in south korea and it was just a blessing to look at you?? -doesn’t say anything about your race though because like yoosung and the rest of the RFA he fell in love with your personality and kindness and not how you looked like -as time passes and you both begin dating he casually asks you about your race and you tell him where you’re from and that you’re hispanic and he’s just like: “nice” -he always just assumed you spoke spanish but never asked you about it -it wasn’t until you caught him smoking outside the balcony did your latina side truly unleash itself and right then and there he heard you speak in spanish -it wasn’t the sweet tone with romantic phrases behind him that he was expecting but it was definitely..something -“que trías con esas pinches chingaderas? hueles horrible zen!! tú sabes que no me gusta que fumes and todavía lo haces, como un pinche idiota!” -(translation: what are you doing with those fucking things? you smell horrible zen!! you know i don’t like that fact that you smoke and yet you still do it, like a fucking idiot!) -“bABE IM SORRY PLEASE STOP YELLING AT ME IN SPANISH” -you tell him everything you previously said in korean and ignore him for a few hours just to calm yourself down because it had been a while since you had unleashed that side of you to anyone -later into the evening he came up to you with a bouquet of roses -“para ti, mi amor único” -(translation: for you, my one true love) -you were blushing and smiley because your cute babe just spoke spanish to you!! his accent may have been thick but that’s what made it even more endearing!! gAAAHH -“mc, i’m so sorry, i promise i’ll try my best to stop smoking, just for you.” -GAAAAHHHH -the other few times you ranted to him in spanish weren’t as unexpected and brutal as the first -most of the time you would accidentally rant to him in spanish about something stupid someone did or about little things that angered you or made you happy -though he didn’t speak spanish himself, he learned to tell the differences between your angry and passionate tones as time passed -you were beyond grateful and so was he for having such a cute girlfriend who could speak so many languages!! -you were so talented he loved you!! -(and you loved him too)

JAEHEE -she could tell you were a different ethnicity from her -she never mentioned it though because that would be rude and she assumes you’d tell her about it sooner or later into your relationship!! -but you didn’t. -you never once brought it up -the only way she found out you could even speak spanish was one night when jumin was being a little harsh with her despite them having cut off any business ties together -he was going on and on about how astonished he was your guy’s cafe was making any profit whatsoever and that he would be there for y'all when things went into the dump -you were not happy -jaehee didn’t even feel bad about jumin’s comments, she had thick skin and jumin was always harsh -despite the fact jaehee brushed off the comments you took them to heart and just started screaming at jumin in another language “y quien te dio el pinche derecho de decider que le va pasar a nuestra tienda? vete a la verga cara de gato, pinche desgraciado.” -(and who gave you the fucking right to decide what’s gonna happen to our shop? go fuck yourself you cat faced fucking disgrace.) -jumin spoke many languages or at least understand many and could make out bits and pieces of your little outburst -him, being beyond embarrassed and ashamed, excused himself from your cafe and left -jaehee was s h o o k -you had always stood up for her in the chat rooms but you always did so in a calm manner but this time something was different?? -you had finally snapped?? -she was a little embarrassed but also happy that you stood up for her -(she did scold you a little though after having you explain to her what you said in spanish) -“i love you MC but never call jumin a ‘cat face’ ever again.” -she didn’t mind you having little outbursts where you started ranting in spanish every once in a while -she thought it was healthy to let out pent up feelings, she did the same with judo and you with your rants -though she did admit she preferred you ranting passionately about something you loved rather than telling the rude customer who was flirting with jaehee to “go fuck himself” in spanish while continuing on to rant about how ugly his shoes and entire outfit were -she loves you a lot though and would always be there to handle things in a calmer manner when you had your outbursts -overall your rants in spanish and culture as a whole were another unique part of you to love and she was willing to put up with your spanish rants and strange latina quirks as long as you were willing to put up with her -y'all are just happy and in love

JUMIN: -like jaehee he knew right from the moment he saw you at his front doorstep that you were a different ethnicity -he didn’t even bother to say anything about it because he was just so glad to see someone as beautiful as you there to help him -even after the chaos with elizabeth and the party he still hadn’t bothered to say anything -babe was so blinded by both love and your beauty that he didn’t even notice your differences -it wasn’t until you told off elizabeth the 3rd in spanish did he realize that you were a different ethnicity -your scolding to the cat went a little something like: -“elizabeth! no chingas baby que trías? tiraste el vino de tu papá hace un ratito y ahora estás rasguñándome! cálmate antes que hagas más travesuras.” -(translation: elizabeth! don’t fuck around like this baby what’s up with you? you spilled your dad’s wine a little while ago and now you’re scratching at me? you better calm down before you make even more of a mess.) -you were truly something. not a bad 'something’ though!! he loved the fact you spoke a different language he hardly understood and that you were so different from him -he had little to no exposure to your culture so to be engaged to someone and get to learn about an entirely different world was exciting! -he gets confused when you rant to him in spanish but he tries his best to learn the language for you -“my love, i want to be able to understand you on an even deeper level. that’s why i’ve hired a tutor to teach me spanish.” -“jumin you really don’t-” -“no, please allow me to become closer to you through this.” -“o-ok??” -he enjoys when you rant to him in spanish a lot though because it helps him practice -“es un hijo de puta!” -“you just called the guy who owns the bakery shop from down the street a 'motherfucker’!” -“yes!! good job honey!!” -jumin overall is just really happy to have you as a partner that he doesn’t mind you ranting, as long as it’s not in public -he’s not ashamed of you or your rants!! god no, it’s just he’s afraid someone’s gonna hear you talking trash about the man walking in front of you. -sometimes he’ll scold you if your rants are about other people and they’re really mean but most of the time he just listens intently to your outbursts -he loves it when your rants are about something you love -your eyes get all sparkly and your spanish gets choppy and rushed and you keep switching in between all the languages you know to try to express your feelings properly -it’s the cutest thing to witness for him! even more so than watching elizabeth the third wake from her naps -he loves you and your latina side to you so he has never minded it, he embraces it and will be there to listen to your rants whenever and wherever

SAEYOUNG: -this little shit of course knew your ethnicity from the background check -he cracked a joke in spanish in the chat room that at first made you sick to the stomach because he fucking knew that you spoke spanish but after a moment of panic you laughed it off and shot back a flirty remark in spanish that left him quiet for a few seconds which surprised both yoosung and jaehee(who were also in the chat room) -“wow MC you’re amazing!! i don’t know what you said but you made seven go quiet, and usually he never shuts up” yoosung had typed -you were a little embarrassed he knew about your ethnicity but happy he was able to speak spanish to you when you two talked over the phone, it had been forever since anyone besides your family had done that -you didn’t even think anyone in the entirety of south korea spoke spanish but here was seven, a man who knew more languages than you could count on two hands -after the whole chaos between the two of you passed and you’re settled down as a couple he finds out about your constant rants through you telling him off for not eating properly: -“deja de comer puras chingaderas saeyoung! te preparó sena y todavía tragas esas sabritas como cerdo. uno de estos días de vas a morir idiota.” -(translation: stop eating all this fucking garbage saeyoung! i make dinner for you and you still eat those chips like a pig. one of these days you’re gonna die you idiot.) -“MC,, te amo pero por favor cálmate mi amor.” -(translation: MC,, i love you but please calm down my love) -“i hate you saeyoung.” -he doesn’t mind your rants or scoldings directed at him at all though!! -he thinks it’s funny to hear the way you talk about other people, always cursing them out beyond belief (even though sometimes he’s the 'other people’, with you now cursing him out beyond belief) -sometimes he even joins in on your rants! -his spanish is just as good (maybe even better) than yours so you can always understand him -“ese desgraciado estupido.” -(translation: that idiotic disgrace.) -“tú dile MC! ese cara de idiota!” -(translation: you tell em MC! that idiot face!) -“saeyoung did you just say that 'idiot face’??” -“i panicked.” -you ranting at him also helps him snap out of sad depressive episodes and also makes him laugh -no matter how negative your ranting may be he’s always there to put a smile on your face like how you do for him -despite the fact he thinks your rants on “why it’s stupid for the main character in a horror movie to go into a room alone” are really funny and entertaining, he likes your passionate rants about things you love more than anything else in the world -your spanish becomes rushed and you’re so out of breath but so determined to convey your feelings to him it just makes his heart curl -overall he finds your ranting entertaining and is always there to either rant and laugh along with you, or listen and support you -he’s grateful to have such a cute partner he can make fun of other people in another language but also grateful that you’re just there for him and love him

V: (i’m just gonna be honest with y'all, this was the hardest scenario for v to write for me because i can’t see him caring at all. he’s so blinded by love (hAHA) that if his partner had four heads he wouldn’t even notice it unless they pointed it out nonetheless i’m willing to try my best to write out a good scenario!!) -alright so when you two met he was blind, that much was obvious to you -so he couldn’t tell right off the bat that you were hispanic -as you two grew closer and became a couple you convinced him to get eye surgery -which he agreed to because he wanted to see how beautiful you were -(damn it v stop being so sweet you gorgeous blue boy i’m love you-) -though the eye surgery didn’t completely repair his vision he could finally see you clearly now from one of his eyes and he was beyond grateful for that -he could finally see you for all you were and he felt himself melt at the sight of your smiling face when the doctors took the bandages off of him -it’s something he’d never forgot -as his vision got better and you two got deeper into your relationship he witnessed your ranting for the first time -it was a normal day like any other, you and him were taking a walk through the park because he liked to go look at the trees and sky with you now that he could finally see somewhat clearly again!! -while you were there v had accidentally bumped into a passing stranger but was quick to apologize for it -the guy must’ve not being having a good day because the words that spilled from his mouth directed at v were not friendly ones -all of sudden you sprung into action with a fire in your eye v had never seen before, he was sort of afraid you’d kill the guy but instead of physically hitting him you started spewing out to what v and the guy was nothing but pure spanish nonsense -“que le estás diciendo al amor de mi pinche vida hijo de puta? nunca, nunca, nunca, le digas esas pinches tonterías a el o a nadie otra vez o si no te juro que te mató, pinche desgraciado.” -(translation: what are you saying to the love of my fucking life you motherfucker? never, never, never, say all that bullshit to him or anybody else again or i swear i’ll kill you, you fucking disgrace.) -the guy who was telling v off quickly shut up and started walking away, obviously afraid of your words that were practically dripping with venom -v was caught completely off guard the first time and was really confused until you explained to him you tended to rant in spanish from time to time and that you were just really upset at the guy that you didn’t even notice yourself doing it -blue boy was still a little confused and was also now intrigued by your spanish and culture because: wHat the heck,, his beautiful partner spoke another language?? how amazing could they be?? -the second time you ranted to him it was about the outrageous prices on food at the market and he just agreed with you causally, smiling at the same fire in your eyes as you blabbered on -though he couldn’t understand what you were saying he still listened and tried his best to be there with you through all of your rants, good or bad -though you enjoyed the support you couldn’t help but feel bad at the adorable lost puppy look that crossed his features every time you started talking too quickly -he offered to try and learn spanish so he could actually understand what you were saying but after a week of him failing at learning even the simplest of basics you just told him that his confused support was enough -in the end he doesn’t mind hearing you rant because it makes him happy to know that you love and trust him enough that you’re willing to show your hispanic side to him without hesitation -whether that hispanic side be introducing him to the food or yelling on about how terrible your family was he was just happy to be with you -because blue boy loved you and every single little quirk of yours beyond words

SAERAN: -he didn’t care that you were hispanic! -he didn’t even say anything about it when you two started dating despite he fact he knew about it -after all he was the one who got you into the RFA so he knew every little thing there was to know about you -he was just glad to have a partner there to love and support him that you being another race didn’t phase him at all, because why would it? he loved you for who you were and nothing more -the first time he witnessed you ranting you were yelling at saeyoung which surprised both him and his twin -“saeyoung que trías con todo está cochinero? otras personas viven aquí también, sabes eso? pura basura de sabritas y soda, no chinges! te voy a joder bien mal si no recojes toda esta basura!” -(translation: saeyoung what is up with all this mess? other people live in this house too, do you know that? all this garbage of nothing but chips and soda, are you fucking kidding me? i’m gonna fuck you up real bad if you don’t clean up all this garbage.) -“saerAN MC IS YELLING AT ME IN SPANISH PLEASE HELP” -he was surprised at how someone as sweet and understanding as you could snap so quickly -to be honest he was a little afraid of how quickly you spoke and just how harsh you sounded but his face remained stoic -he didn’t say anything about it because he was afraid you’d snap at him next but you did no such thing -after calming yourself down you embarrassingly explained that you tended to rant in spanish without knowing it -he only gave you a quick nod of understanding and just left it at that -you tended to rant less and less around him because you assumed it annoyed him but it was the exact opposite -it entertained him to no end since he understood some of your cursing -just to see the sweet little MC everyone knew and love to menacingly threaten someone in spanish was a sight to behold -he finally confronted you about it when you didn’t rant in front of him at all -“i’m not good at these types of things but, are you alright MC?” -“i’m fine honey, why?” -“you, y-you don’t talk quickly in spanish anymore. did i do something that made you want to stop?” -both of you just stared at each other for a while before you explained to him that you just assumed it annoyed him so you stopped but he begrudgingly told you that he found it funny and to not stop doing it for anyone -you were all smiley and red because saeran barley spoke his true feelings and though his little speech to you was short it still made you really happy :,) -you continued to rant in spanish about anything and everything and he was always there to smile slightly and look at you like you were the only thing that mattered in the universe -god he loved you, and your unintelligible ranting

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ehy1 · 7 years

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MY OC IS HEEEEEEEEEREEE!!!!

First of all, this is gonna be a little bit, (who am i kidding?) THIS IS GONNA BE A LOT OF INFORMATION, so just advising you what is coming. LOVE YOU ALL!!

Clothes inspiration, HAIR, and tattoo.

Name: Shika Sayaka/ Sayaka Shika

Name meaning: Shika (deer of good heart/with excellent intentions) Sayaka (Saya: pure, fresh, clean... Ka: from "kaze=wind"... Fresh air blow).

Age: 16

Birthday: October 11th

Gender: female

Height: 1.63 cm

Weigh: 40 kg

Ethnics: Japanese.

Eyes color: Hazel

Skin color: white with pink sub tone

Hobbies: dissecting flowers, listening to music, drawing, doing gymnastics, singing, dancing, playing basketball, astrology.

Debilities: her lover, it's very sensitive (body).

Style: elegant and feminine.

Sign: Libra

Birthmarks: a mole next to her belly bottom, down her right eye, a collar of them in the right arm and two of them next to each other in the left hand (they seem like a vampire bite mark).

Tattoos: a lotus flower in her left leg.

Hair color: baby pink, pastel blue, lilac and cream.

Fears: the ocean, rivers, lakes, sharks, everything that she can't she. (This means a creature that is there but you can't see it, she is afraid that she can't protect herself).

Significant other: Subaru Sakamaki

🙋Personality.🙋

Shika is a girl that loves to help other people, is very social and polite, she can be hurt easily but she will never accept it. Has a lot of pride, and she doesn't stand people who makes feel other ones small or worthless. She is determinate and positive. She's a little crazy, likes to think about life but mostly about death and in the human nature. She is never in only one side, she has the "grey" theory (there's not just black and white). Sometimes she can be sarcastic and is very joker. She can pass to be the kindest and gentle person in the world to the cruelest and coldest person you have ever seen.you can find her daydreaming, with the stare in other world (this is because she likes to philosophize). She is good at martial arts and in the art, she can break a face with her fist and she can also take ants with her fingers with a delicately that they won't get hurt. She's romantic but realist. Cruel but gentle and warm. It's really difficult that she falls in love. She always flows like the wind, never stops. Is charming and flirty. Knows how to give good advice to the people that asks for her help and protects with her sole to the ones that she loves. Is a big fan of astrology.

Shika es una chica que ama ayudar a las personas, es muy social y educada, amable; pueden herir sus sentimientos fácilmente pero nunca lo va a admitir. Tiene mucho orgullo y no tolera a las personas que hacen sentir a los demás menos o inservibles. Es determinada y positiva. Está un poco loca, le gusta pensar sobre la vida pero sobre todo sobre la muerte y la naturaleza humana. Ella nunca está solo de un lado, tiene la filosofía del "gris" (no hay solo blanco y negro). A veces puede ser sarcástica y es muy bromista. Puede pasar de ser la persona más linda y tierna del mundo a la chica más fría y cruel que hayas conocido. La puedes encontrar fantaseando despierta, con la mirada en otro mundo (esto es por qué le gusta mucho filosofar). Es buena en las artes marciales y en el arte, puede romper una cara con su puño y también puede tomar hormigas con sus dedos con tal delicadez que no las lastimara. Es romántica pero realista. Cruel pero amable y cálida. Es muy difícil que se enamore. Ella avanza como el viento, nunca se detiene. Es encantadora y coqueta. Sabe dar buenas consejos a personas que piden su ayuda y protege con su alma a los que ama. Ama la astrología.

👍Strengths.- determinate, brave, makes things and decisions since what is fair, likes the justice, sincere, loyal, cheerful (when you get to know her), polite.

👎Flaws.- can't stand crowds of people, a bit shy, hides her feelings (even to herself), she can be cold at times, bad at maths, doesn't take care of herself, distracted, a little bit lazy.

😳😳Biography.😳😳

Just one intention... Help... And why lie, to satisfy her curiousness too. She never belonged to just one place, her abilities and nature weren't from just one dimension, she... Was different. When a group of people, that are actually vampires, (she doesn't see the great difference anyway) appeared in her life the girl felt that she had to help, but something that has never happened.... Happened, one of her plans didn't work as expected, she got stuck in a different dimension, with twelve vampires that could devour her, thought stay positive wasn't enough, now everything was unpredictable and her nature has changed, to be honest .... Everything has changed.

She will teach them so many things, makes them feel different, but she is not the only one writing a new story, they will transform her, hurt her and one thing that she has always been afraid of... Falling in love.

Other relationships:

Shu Sakamaki.- he was one of her options when she had the obligation of choosing someone to "take care of her". He gets annoyed with Shika 'cause sometimes she's too loud.

💕Shika's comment.- I want life and destiny to make him feel happy.

Reiji Sakamaki.- Shika likes to help him with the cleaning, but she refuses to take cook lessons since she is helpless in the kitchen and Reiji agrees with that. The vampire enjoys to make experiments with her since she is half yōkai and half human. She is polite with him and sometimes gives him some advice, he tells her that he doesn't need tips from a "mixture-of-creatures" but he is actually grateful about her caring. (She is always alert when she is with him).

💕Shika'comment.- at first I thought that he was someone that I could rely on, since he is a kind of authority, but I was wrong, he won't help me -.-", ... Buuuuut I think that he only needs a little bit of attention and love☺️.

Ayato Sakamaki.- when they first met he felt like if fire increased inside of him (the fault is her essence -.-"), and this happens whenever he is with her. They enjoy to play basketball together and make careers when they swim. He gets annoyed when she wins the challenges, he hates the idea that Shika can't and doesn't want to cook, he gets really jealous of all the guys that gets the attention of Shika.

💕Shika's comment.- I like to be with him it's fun to Ayato, but when I catch him looking at my boobs I really get annoyed -.-"

Laito Sakamaki.- they are just friends. Shika feels free when she is with him, she has decided to show him what real love is. She doesn't get scared when he attempts to harass her since she is not that innocent anymore. He finds interesting how can a demon be kind and caring and he wants to break that part of her.

💕Shika's comment.- he and me are similar, even in the things that aren't good, that's why I appreciate him so much ☺️.

Kanato Sakamaki.- she is a pro at making people happy and manipulate them at some grade, so she founds different ways to keep kanato calm, she is terrified of what he can do and tries to keep away from him. He gets annoyed when she doesn't have time to play, he likes to dress her like a doll.

💕Shika's comment.- ......LOOK! What a beautiful day!..... *Runs away*

Subaru Sakamaki.- he founds her annoying but at the same time interesting, she is always positive and that keeps an eye of the vampire on her, he is confused why does she deny's that she is a good person. She founds him a good guy, he makes her feel feelings and make her remember that she has a sensible part in her soul.

💕Shika's comment.- he's the type of person that gets annoyed by me, that makes me sad, I want to be his friend, but I think that this situation is going to be more difficult than I thought 😓

Ruki Mukami.- they get a long well, also she likes to hear him when he reads, they talk about books too. He makes her demonstrate her tsundere side and his goal is to make her blush. Shika feels relax when she is with him. He enjoys to make her vulnerable and summit her since she has a wild side, she gets nervous when he demonstrates his "master" kink.

💕Shika's comment.- I admire him, he is brave and will give everything for the sake of his brothers ☺️☺️

Kou Mukami.- they are like bros, when they are together they talk (the volume is too loud though) he always wants to make her wear cat tails and ears, but Shika never agrees. When there is free time they like to make mini-concerts where they sing and dance a lot. Kou has a crush on her. When his sadist nature appears he makes cruel comments only to make her sad or turn down her light, but she frustrates him with not giving up on the idea that in this world there is always light.

💕Shika's comment.- he makes me feel curiousness, I want him to be himself with me and I want him to feel free and loved, he has hurt me so much though.

Yuma Mukami.- when Shika is with him she is playful, she likes to make pranks on him since she thinks that he is just like a teddy bear, he gets annoyed by this and he defends himself telling her that she is just a tiny-pig. He is fire, and she is air, that makes them feel like if they complement each other. He makes her demonstrate her tsundere side too. She likes to help him in the garden and always ask for help for keep beautiful her flowers and her strawberries plants.

💕Shika's comment.- his height doesn't bother me, or make me feel afraid, it is not the first time that a person of his height wants to intimidate me, he is natural and loyal, Yuma is a good friend.

Azusa Mukami.- he founds her caring and polite, they just like to take walks around the Mukami mansion and if he wants...talk about something. Shika sees Azusa like a child that has to be protected, she hugs him a lot because she founds him as the most tender and cute thing in the world.

💕Shika's comment.- I want to protect his pureness at all costs! I know what does it feels like to have your purity and innocence been taking away from you, I don't want anybody to hurt him!

Carla tsukimani.- she's afraid of him, Shika is polite and really quiet when the first blood is around.

💕Shika's comment.- He makes me nervous, is a person that I think I may not be able to handle.

Shin Tsukinami.- he has tried to kidnap her. Now they are just friends.

💕Shika's comment.- I know that he can be a good guy but, his life has made him very violent and.....*sigh* well it's a long story.

❤️❤️Abilities.❤️❤️

-can turn into a yōkai (Japanese demon).

-can control the air.

-uses a hammer ( she can also use multiple katanas, but those are rare to be used by her)

-can travel through dimensions (she is still learning, and ... She's stuck actually)

-has skills to paint and draw

-good at sports and learning languages.

❤️❤️Curiosities.❤️❤️

✌she gets the top of her energy at 6:00 pm. (Feels inspired or motivated to do things)

✌Likes the color pink

✌Has tsundere tendencies, just with some of the guys.

✌When she is nervous, tends to pass one finger through one eyebrow.

✌The "leader" role fits her surprisingly well when it is needed.

✌She can be submissive or the one in charge, (tends to be submissive)

✌️she is sensitive to the "other world" (ghosts) since she was little.

🍗 FAVORITE FOOD!!! 🍗

Steak

Strawberries covered with chocolate

Banderillas

Chili, chili AND MORE CHILI!!!

Well, this is all, THANK YOU FOR READING!!!! I will wait for your asks and everything that you want.

#god im so excited #NEW OC BAAAAAABEEEEEEESSS!!!!!!!#diabolik lovers #diabolik lovers OC

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