#immediately after i did this the first time i started to rewrite val
Text
remake of my first post using @arisenreborn's wonderful arisen & pawn questionnaire. both characters changed enough that i felt like i had to redo this & will possibly be posting a more detailed character sheet for them in the future. <3
♛ THE ARISEN:
NAME: Valkyrie
AGE: 22
RACE: Human
PRONOUNS: She/Her/Hers
PREFERRED VOCATION: Warfarer
FAVORED GIFTS: Anything handcrafted, practical items & books
FAMILY: Likely Deceased Parents, Sid (Adoptive Father)
POSITIVE TRAITS: Loyal, Determined, Curious, Willful
NEGATIVE TRAITS: Reckless, Impulsive, Nosy
LIKES: Exploration, Sunny Days, Learning new things
DISLIKES: Uncontrolled Fires, Rich People (the self-serving, greedy kind), Goblins
1. What was their life like before becoming Arisen?
At ten years old, Valkyrie was found hiding in the recently razed village of Great Oak by a traveling merchant named Sid. She doesn't quite recall her life before, flashes of it sometimes reaching her, but whether she was repressing the memories or simply couldn't process them, she finds herself unable to stay fixated in the past. With Sid's help, she soon leaves it behind entirely and begins to forge a new path.
Perhaps it was because people knew of the tragedy that befell Sid before meeting Valkyrie, how goblins had taken the lives of his wife and son, but no one questioned the girl's arrival and welcomed her to the village with open arms. There she was raised by the community. She learned to cook, to hunt, and even to run Sid's shop while he was away. And as she grew older she developed a penchant for magic and even herbology.
By the time she was thirteen, she felt fully acclimated to her new life and even began to refer to Sid as her father. Though she still startled at the sight of flames and suffered from the occasional nightmare, she now felt safe. And for Sid, he made peace with the losses he suffered, knowing they were guiding him every step of the way as he raised this girl.
As she got older, Sid's health began to decline. Apothecaries and doctors were baffled, unable to find a cause or a cure, and as time went on Valkyrie found herself filling more of his roles within the village. By seventeen, she was running his shop full-time by day and at night, taking care of him. Were it not for the community of people helping her, they surely would have lost the shop and fallen into poverty.
At age eighteen, she finds Sid had passed in his sleep.
She shortly after relinquishes ownership of the shop to a trusted friend and leaves the village behind, unable to handle the reminder every nook and cranny held. Instead, she decides to travel like she always dreamed of and learn more of the world, hopefully finding purpose along the way.
Four years later, she finds herself in Melve enveloped in flame and a stillness in her chest.
2. How do they handle being Arisen, and the responsibilities that come with it?
A gnawing preemptive guilt follows Valkyrie on her journey, no matter the amount of days that pass by. She's afraid she won't be able to save everyone, that her adventure will be packed with perilous missions and insurmountable obstacles. Despite this, she's still determined to try, unwilling to fail as Arisens before her had.
3. What are their thoughts on Pawns in general?
Valkyrie only met a few pawns in her lifetime, but Sid always described them as a helpful people. Even when she loses her memories, she still holds them with the same respect she would anyone else and never treats them as less then. She even becomes a bit overprotective of them after learning how they are sometimes treated by others. Also, the scholar in her is just generally fascinated in their existence and ability to travel to other worlds.
4. What's their relationship like with their main Pawn?
Valkyrie is a bit awkward with Nolan at first. She had never been a leader nor felt the inclination to be one, so when she was suddenly forced into the role it felt out of place. There wasn't much confidence in her decisions, and she felt rather guilty that he was stuck by her side.
As her confidence and abilities grow, she sees Nolan as her rock and her perfect counterpart, in fighting style and personality. He keeps her grounded, and she gives him purpose. Soon she finds herself unable and unwilling to be without him.
5. Do they have any interest in being Sovran? What are their opinions on the politics of the world in general?
The idea of being Sovran makes Valkyrie throw up in her mouth, but when she sees how shady those in charge are, she's willing to fill the role if it means protecting the people. But she secretly hopes Sven takes up the mantle. Politics had never been her favorite.
6. Who are their love interest(s) and/or closest friends?
Ulrika is the first friend Valkyrie had made after leaving her home, and though she no longer holds any memories of her prior to the fell curse, she still finds herself feeling calm in her presence. In the beginning, a lot of her will to move forward was powered by Ulrika's own dedication to protecting the people of Melve and her aid in nursing Valkyrie back to health.
Occasionally, Valkyrie stops by Melve solely to visit Ulrika and they often talk for hours. Ulrika is by far her biggest supporter, and their bond is only strength when she takes up the mantle of Arisen.
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
Valkyrie didn't really think of Sven when she first met him, the newfound role of Arisen dominating her thoughts, but after she discovers he's the regentkin she grows rather curious of his intentions. At first she's skeptical, assuming the worst and that Sven was simply there to lay out another trap for her. But as he shows himself to be genuine, she slowly lets down her guard and opens up to the prospect of being allies.
He inadvertently becomes one of her advisors, offering support and any aid he's able to provide without drawing his mother's attention. And sometimes a shoulder to cry on when she feels overwhelmed and not up for the task set before her. On occasion, she also takes the time to tell him tales of her adventures and frequently gifts him little bits and baubles she acquired along the way.
She feels very grateful to consider him a friend.
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
Valkyrie would be bit embarrassed to admit that she was enchanted by Srail at first sight. Initially, he had rescued her from a rampaging minotaur that had taken out her entire party. She attempted to flee and right before the strike of the club, she was yanked through a thin crevice between the crags and led to the village to recover. Though he was still posing as a traveling merchant, his untimely rescue had her flustered, something she chalked up to nerves.
The second time she meets him, she knows it isn't just nerves. While she felt like a fool for not seeing through his act, she couldn't help but see him a positive light. For one, he had believed she was the true Arisen with little convincing (the driving force behind his rescue), and then he aided her once again with information on Darragh. His helpful nature only served to amplify her captivation.
Perhaps, it was due to everyone demanding her help, yet for the first time someone had been helping her. And even when Srail later appears in Vernworth requesting her aid with a heist, she doesn't hesitate to agree, eager to repay a debt. After this event, they remain in contact, and she truly values his company.
Although she had good people in her corner, he was one of the few that didn't judge her for thoughts that often wracked her with guilt. Thoughts of abandoning her quest, letting someone else assume the mantle (they both knew she wouldn't let that happen), her developing distaste for always being the one at the rescue. He understood, sympathizing with her plight, and occasionally, he would simply offer comfort.
Valkyrie winds up developing fairly potent feelings for the thief, but fearing what's to come prevents her from taking the first step. She does let the truth slip after rescuing him from the dragon though.
(Has other important friends/bonds such as Brant and Glyndwr but that may have to be a separate post.)
7. What drew them to their preferred vocation? Do they have history with it?
Valkyrie was already an eager student, so learning bits and pieces from different vocations simply came natural to her. Jack-of-all-trades, master of none.
8. Do they have any hobbies? Any way of relaxing between all that monster-slaying and traveling?
Aside from reading, Valkyrie is an avid lover of music and sometimes will visit the pub simply to listen. She also enjoys writing, often detailing her adventures within journals and even wrote, and continues to write, a comprehensive guide on survival and fighting beasts.
♟︎ THE PAWN:
NAME: Nolan
AGE: ????
RACE: Humanoid Pawn
PRONOUNS: He/Him/His
PREFERRED VOCATION: Fighter
FAVORED GIFTS: In love with almost anything gifted to him due to never receiving any, but has a special fondness for baked goods and new armor/clothes
INCLINATION: Kindhearted
POSITIVE TRAITS: Alert, Kind, Dedicated, Compassionate
NEGATIVE TRAITS: Naive, Socially Awkward (often comes off as intimidating despite being a teddy bear), Self-destructive
LIKES: Animals, Sculptures/Statues, Victories in Difficult Battles
DISLIKES: The Cold, Sleeping in Beds, Bandits
1. What was their life like prior to being summoned by their Arisen?
If he had access to the emotional range he gained after the fact, he'd say his life prior was bleak. Wandering aimlessly until an Arisen had need of him was a given. He would often travel along main roads, engaging in battles he'd happen upon with a near-unusual vigor. But otherwise, he felt positively neutral about his day-to-day.
But then he happened upon bandits. It was so strange to him how, despite it happening so long ago, it came back to haunt him just as he was slowly developing emotions. He remembered being captured and toyed with for amusement, the bandits possessing a clear distaste for pawns. And whenever he would get back up they would strike him down just as hard. If he could have felt anything back then, he thinks he would have felt fear and rage. Both at knowing there was nothing he could do stop them.
2. What is their opinion on the Arisen? How do they view their relationship?
Valkyrie was the first to ever to provide him comfort, to speak to him so kindly, and support his ambitions even as they became different from her own. She was the first to drape a blanket over his shoulders, to call out his name in a worried panic and fret over his wounds while tending to them.
So it doesn't take long into their journey for Nolan to find himself entirely devoted to her. And while true in more fate-bound a sense, he feels as if she is his other half. Similar to her, the idea of being separated is not a pleasant one and she often finds herself with an imposing shadow at her heels.
The original intention of their dynamic was meant to be master and their pawn. However, Nolan feels as more of an equal to her and is treated as such. But he still feels a beaming pride at being her chosen.
3. Is there anything about the Arisen they find troublesome? Be it a small quirk or bad habit? (Or are they obviously flawless?)
While Valkyrie is smart, she's not much of a planner so as battle-driven as he can be he finds himself in them before he even realizes it. He often chastises her recklessness and frequently finds himself reigning her in before she gets into trouble.
He also notices she doesn't have the best view of herself. Knowing it's something she can only truly fix herself, he still offers daily encouragements and compliments. Even if they leave her flustered.
4. What is their specialization and is there any story behind how they cultivated that skill set?
Surprisingly, Nolan takes to learning Elvish rather easily. Outside of Valkyrie, his first non-fate guided friendship was with Glyndwr. The elf is one of the few that can handle his constant barrage of questions and is often met with inquiries in return. He already knew a bit of the language but practices it more intently in order to converse with his friend in their mothertongue.
5. Do they have any thoughts on the politics of the world and their place in it as a Pawn - or how Pawns are treated?
Politics generally confuse and hold little interest to him, but as he gains access to a wider arrange of emotions, he does develop certain views on how pawns are treated. He mirrors his Arisen's disgust at the mistreatment in areas such as Bakbattahl and generally finds himself confounded as to where the hatred stemmed from.
He often thinks about that day with the bandits and during the coronation of the false Arisen, and he would not wish that on any pawn, no matter the morality of their master.
6. Does their journey with the Arisen change them in any significant way and how?
Nolan was virtually mute before meeting her. He had no reason to speak, so he simply didn't. She helps him find his voice. There's no pressure to do so, but she often gives him little reasons, such as asking his opinion on something or simply engaging in small talk. Soon, he finds himself speaking without needing a reason, and that oddly provides him comfort.
7. Is there a reason they chose their preferred vocation?
Nolan is very battle-driven and finds his biggest thrills come from downing imposing foes. And to inflicting as much damage as possible. Though a warrior may be better suited, he likes the ability to protect. (So he protecc and he attacc.) His favorite combination. Also, sliding down hills is easier with a shield.
8. Do they have any hobbies or preferred past-times?
Nolan will try every hobby at least once while on his path to self-discovery, but he finds whittling to particularly relaxing and a source of pride for him as his skill increases. He often gifts little whittled creatures to friends he makes along the way. Were they to have the resources, he dreams of making a sculpture. For now though, he's content with smaller projects.
He also finds himself taking in the sights when they stop in major settlements, struck by the beauty of it. Really, he's an artist in a fighter's body. Aside from that, slowly transitioning into the more social one, he enjoys meeting and befriending new people--especially if he had no help from the Arisen in doing so.
#immediately after i did this the first time i started to rewrite val#i have a problem#dragon's dogma#dd2#dd2 arisen#dragon's dogma oc#forgive me for the oc spam tonight#the brain fog is real and this is only thing that's stood out today lol
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Headliner Of The Month
Hello, Carnival Goers and Performers alike, please give a round of applause for our Headliner Of The Month:
Our Wonderful Performer: Val @kookdiaries
You are our Headliner of the Month!
During this month, we want to showcase your incredible talent and skill and share it with the Carnival! For this month, we want you to pick three fics of yours that you’d like us to showcase, and we also wanted to ask you some questions so we can understand how you write, why and what you want to get across with your fics.
Questions For You:
Three Fics:
Ten Out Of Ten
Just Dance It Off
Bound By Law
When did you start writing fics, and why?
I started writing fanfic in high school, my shared works began with tv shows & movies I was interested in like Teen Wolf, AHS, and HP before moving into bands/musicians like 1D, 5sos, PTV, BVB, etc. I took a break my senior year of high school and my freshman year of college and then one day while scrolling youtube I saw a music video trending of seven insanely talented dancers and singers and immediately picked writing back up again as I got to know BTS more. Writing for me has always been a way to relax after a busy day, it’s comforting and I hope to enjoy it for a long time!
What was your first fic? (provide a link if you want?)
My first fic & blog no longer exist, but the first one I’ve posted here would be Risk It All, a racing fic with Jungkook and Yoongi!
What is your latest fic?
The most recent fic I’ve posted is Bound By Law! It was a piece I wrote for an amazing collab that I was honored to be a part of and I’m super happy with how it turned out!
Why did you choose to write about the fics you have chosen?
Ten Out Of Ten - This fic is special to me, it got me out of a very long writing funk and pushed me through a lot. It started out as something totally different, and was even meant for a different fandom, but when the inspiration finally hit me it felt like a Taehyung fic. I wasn’t sure if I made the right choice by rewriting it, but I’m so glad I did because it turned out even better than I was expecting and I’ve appreciated and continue to appreciate all the love it gets
Just Dance It Off - I’ve always loved the art of dance, I grew up in a low income area and this was never a class or activity offered so I grew up making up my own dances and “performed” them with my cousins. I lived vicariously through YN here because I always thought the dance career could have been interesting life path.
Bound By Law - Lawyer Hobi was consuming my every thought and I knew I needed to write something filthy to satisfy my fantasy LOL. Plus the idea of a naughty little lunchtime rendezvous is delicious. Sounds like a great time to spend a break!
What was the most memorable line for you in each of the fics?
Ten Out Of Ten - Oh my gosh, it has to be the aftermath of the fountain scene, it’s more than just one line but it’s so awkwardly funny and you definitely feel the secondhand embarrassment LOL:
❝ “I considered heading to my class but I just felt too bad,” he says to you before turning to your professor. “It’s my fault her paper is soaked, I mean look at me. I am too. After an unfortunate turn of events - events that neither of us anticipated - it fell in the fountain and so did I. But you can see that…because I’m wet. Wet like water wet, not like the other kind of wet. That would be weird, considering… But probably more awkward than anything though. If I’m being honest. You know, my mother taught me that honesty is the best policy. So that’s what I’m doing here. Being honest…about me…and her paper being, uh, you know, wet…” ❞
Just Dance It Off - This short snippet is from when they’re working on lifts and Jimin keeps dropping her and YN has an attitude about it:
❝ “Get up.” He held his hand out for you and pulled you to your feet. “We need to get this number down, you know how important it is.”
“I’m aware of that,” you hissed, “But it would be nice if you weren’t letting me fall every two seconds.” You rubbed your aching side and tried stretching to see if that eased the pain.
“Just dance it off, you’ll be fine.” Jimin walked over to his stuff along the wall and reached for his water bottle.
You scowled. “Quit being ridiculous and hold me properly. I don’t have teeth anywhere down there,” you said motioning the space between your legs. “You can put your hand where it belongs without worry, you know.” ❞
Bound By Law - I’m a sucker for puns so the ending is one of my favorite parts!
❝ You chuckle lightly as you catch your breath. “If you thought lunch was delicious, just wait until you see what I have planned for dinner,” you say with a teasing wink. “You’ll be stuffed.” ❞
What was your writing process like for each fic?
If I’m being totally honest, all over the place. I wish I was the type of person who had a well-organized system or process in place but I am a wip hopper. I write a couple of lines on one doc and if I get stuck I either skip the scene and come back to it later, or I jump over to another tab and write where I left off with a different wip. I usually have three to four different docs open at a time, and whatever fic I finish first is what I end up editing to post. There’s not really a schedule or anything like that LOL.
What do you hope readers will take away from the fics?
I just hope that readers enjoy the time they spent reading my fics. Time is valuable so knowing that I have so many people that choose to spend time out of their day reading what I’ve spent so much time on means a lot to me. No specific takeaways that I’m purposely hoping for, but if a certain scene sticks with them or a dialogue line makes them laugh then I’m delighted!
Why do you keep writing? What drives you?
I keep writing because I have a lot to say haha, and why not share it? I’m driven by the ideas that wander through my brain and inspire me to write each and every AU that I can. Having my support system of good friends and amazing readers is so appreciated and does wonders for motivating me to write and post!
Any writing goals you’ve recently hit? Any goals that you are planning to hit?
A future goal is a secret project that something that I’ve been working on for two years now, but it’s no where near complete so I’ll have to wait to share more! I’m also about to hit another fic milestone so I’m excited about that, and I can’t wait to celebrate when it happens~
1 note
·
View note
Note
Hi Val!!⭐
okay so I'm obsessed with Painters hands too, I'm so glad Emme recommended it to me however many months ago, and I can't believe you updated it again recently!!! like what a treat for us? omg omg
I have a few questions if that's alright:)
1) what inspired you to write it? (I feel like you sort of answered this in another ask but I mean like the storyline, more specifically)
2) Why did you choose Annie as the reader's best friend?
3) do you have a favorite line? I know I have a million but I won't clog your ask box with your own work loll
4) (not a question just <2) Levi painting Kuchel and then reader just made me feel... emotions. Levi helping the reader sleep made me feel... emotions! and lastly, Levi still gives me butterflies and feels exciting and sexy and interesting and hard to figure out while at the same time being the best dearest sleepy boy in you're story so, job well done<33
and what a treat for me!! i love discovering that story along with y'all lmao<3 i will do my best to answer your questions, but please be forewarned that i tend to ramble and the answers may not be quite what you're looking for?
(putting a cut bc it got kind of long)
1) i'm gonna be honest, there wasn't any particular inspiration, other than the actual show and wanting to figure out levi!! i'm not a huge planner when it comes to writing, so the storyline is very much happening as i go along. which is something i consider to be one of the weaker aspects of the story - i think that at some point awhile after i finish the series, i wanna go back and rewrite it to be stronger plot-wise. but i'm not gonna agonize over how it could be better right now, especially considering it's my first long series and piece of fanfic in general; i'm gonna be gentle with myself because i'm still learning:)
2) i think at the time of that particular plot point, i had just finished watching the Wall Rose Invasion arc, when we didn't know much about Annie, Reiner, and Bertholdt - just that they were grouped together as mysterious titan shifters. i'll admit i think i did Reiner's characterization a bit of a disservice by casting him as the asshole, and it's something i want to redeem a little bit in the last chapters of the series. but, as for Annie? I guess it just made sense? i really liked her as a character (and still do) and wanted to give myself the opportunity to play with her a bit. she just has so much potential and it still pisses me off how she was basically written off:( c'est la vie.
3) ooh i love this question! I'm a pretty big fan of this almost confession, in part four:
“D-do…” Do you love me? “Do you think I’m pretty?” It feels petty in your mouth and you immediately regret the words, but it would be worse to try and take them back, so you just bite your lip and look down at the floor.
(also, please don't hesitate to clog my askbox alskfdj sd PLEASE don't be shy, as long as you're cool with inflating my ego x10000)
4) ALL THE EMOTIONS!!! and if i do it right, that's going somewhere!! I'm very excited!! thank you for all your kind words and questions, and I'm sorry it took me a while to answer - i hope you're still around to see<3
come drop a fic in my inbox and I’ll give you some director’s commentary! <from several days ago because I don’t know how to finish what I start!!
1 note
·
View note
Text
After Infection
This is a rewrite and hopefully eventual completion of a massive multiverse mash-up of my OCs with a couple belonging to @whenromancesmoked and a few others from back in the day. I have absolutely no idea if anyone else is going to be interested in reading this (ok, I know a few people who will probably read it) but psh. I’m having fun and want to share.
Note: This is also a George Romero tribute of sorts. Like I started it for giggles because my PB for one of the characters was in the Dawn of the Dead remake and it just snowballed, which I guess means I should throw a WARNING: ZOMBIES sign up here or something. Anyway!
After Infection: Dawn of the Dead
It had seemed like a good idea at the time – or, well, more accurately, it had seemed like the right thing to do. There was a request from fellow hunters in a small town a few hours’ drive south and things had been quiet lately back home so Nate had figured that they could spare the time and energy. Besides, Dennis had been going pretty stir crazy for a while. Even if it was a hunt, it would be a good excuse to get out on the road for a while, a sort of vacation.
It had not turned out even remotely like a vacation.
They had been a little too late to the original party but apparently just in time for things to get much, much worse. Nate had brought a variety of tools just in case but he had primarily been prepared for an infestation of what locals called “hell rats,” a creature that was pretty common in the south and usually pretty easy to handle if you found their nests quickly enough. Sure they were venomous but as long as you were careful… He had not been expecting an infestation of zombies.
“The lot looks pretty clear right now.” Dennis is hunched over at the door, using the peephole to take a quick survey of the goings on outside their hotel room while Nate brews a second pot of coffee to get him through whatever the morning brings. After all, as long as decent coffee is available, he might as well take advantage of it. Lord knows he might have to go without for a while and God help his poor boyfriend’s patience if that happens.
When Dennis stands up straight again, his head is just about even with the top of the doorframe and he yawns as he leans back against the door, arms crossed over his chest. “So, come up with any plans yet or are we still waiting for the caffeine to kick in?”
Nate snorts into his cup and foregoes actually taking a drink for the moment in order to respond. “You ask that like I have any idea what sort of plan to use here. I’ve met exactly zero hunters who’ve actually had to handle zombies in the past decade at least. I honestly don’t think they’ve ever been a problem this far north before.”
“Well, there sure are a lot around here for something that’s never been a problem.”
“Some forms of infection can spread at an exponential rate in populated areas.” He drains a good half of the coffee in hand. “Our best bet is probably just to find out if there are any other non-infected people anywhere around here.”
Dennis flops across the bed, face down, with a muffled grunt.
Nate just silently continues drinking as the percolator finally finishes beside him and he very seriously considers making a third pot, just in case.
---
Zombies – shambling, groaning, flesh-eating, nearly Hollywood perfect zombies. For fuck’s sake. This should have been such an easy fucking job and now there are zombies.
Viktor strings together another line of curses, voice little more than a low growl, as he chambers another cartridge. Beside him, a terrified little girl whimpers. He simply scowls, sets Glock number one aside, lights a cigarette, and pulls out number two. “Zatraceně zasraný vědci.” Leaning over toward the window, he catches sight of a proper target and empties the last bullet into the back of its skull. What a fucking cliché.
This was supposed to be simple. They had agreed on that fact the moment that the specifications of the job had crossed the table. It should have been routine, easy money. Three towns, three targets, each plan the same; get rid of the scientist, call their employer, and let the clean-up crew come in and deal with the rest. The first two hits had gone off without a hitch. So, of course, it just figures that last one would have to be so much more complicated than it should have been.
“I—I—I w-want m-m-my d-da—daddy.”
Viktor’s jaw clenches as he exhales – slow and even, two thin streams of smoke – as he reloads the gun in hand and wills himself to remain calm. His patience is wearing thin at this point, though. He had not planned for going into this as usual and coming out as a babysitter. The target’s five-year-old daughter was not supposed to be in the house at the time of the hit. She only stayed with him on the weekends. What an absolutely brilliant turn of events that this was apparently the first Monday that she had ever spent with her father.
Dropping his half-smoked cigarette on the floor, he shoves himself up to his feet. He had lost contact with Miguel some time earlier, likely as a result of the scientist’s neighbor backing into an electric pole at full speed after one of the zombies had rushed her car. The impact had cut power to the entire neighborhood and he can only assume that it must be the cause of the interference. With long-range communication down, that leaves only one alternative: he needs to get within the functional range of their radios. Unfortunately, the hit had been planned for the late evening and he had only been able to make it as far as a vacant apartment building a couple blocks away before night had started to set. From here, short-wave does him about as much good as a water pistol.
“Come on.” Viktor has already reached the door and taken quick stock of the corridor beyond by the time he bothers to look back. Unsurprisingly, his unwanted charge remains unmoved, still curled up as small as she can possibly make herself, which is pretty damned small.
“A-are you g-g-gonna take me b-back to da-daddy?”
God give him strength but that stuttering is getting real old real quick. “Ne.” He swings the door open as quietly as possible and waits for a moment, listening for any movement outside, before carefully stepping out and making his way to the stairwell. With the knowledge that their escape route is currently free of hostiles, he takes a deep, centering breath and heads back to where he began.
“Look, holčička.” He crouches down in front of the child and tries to sound as reasonable as possible. Given his current level of frustration, he thinks that he is doing a fairly decent job. Miguel, however, would likely disagree. “Either you just come with me and go wherever I go, quietly and without complaint, or I leave you here. Your choice.” Yeah, Miguel would definitely disagree.
From the way that the little girl’s eyes go so much wider than he would have ever imagined possible, he feels safe in assuming that she disagrees as well and, five minutes later, they are creeping down an alleyway with more stealth than Viktor ever would have expected of a kindergartener.
---
What was taking so long?
That is the question that had led Alex out of the band’s bus and that was the question that he now wants to keep from crossing anyone else’s minds. This is all way too fucked up, like the should not be real kind of fucked up. None of this should be happening.
On the ground, backed up against the flat tire of the car that their driver had originally gone to help, Alex kicks hard into the jaw of what may have once been a perfectly lovely young woman and sends her sprawling backward where she lands on top of the monster still gnawing on the corpse of a man who should have still been living and breathing and driving their goddamn bus. Alex’s hand gropes around behind him for anything even remotely useful as a weapon and lands on the tire-iron just in time to smash it into the face of the dead woman once more lunging in his direction. Another strike as she tries to get up and he cringes and almost loses his lunch at the feeling of her skull cracking open and her brain splattering across the pavement. Hell, he really might have lost it if not for the howl coming at him far too fast. This time, he opts not to look as the hears the wet crunch and just leaps to his feet and starts running back toward relative safety.
“Alex?”
Oh fuck. “Stay on the bus, Val!”
“Don’t you fucking tell me what to do, Niccols! What the fuck is going—”
Alex fails to hear the rest as he spins around to slam the tire-iron as hard as he can into something else behind him. This time it gets yanked right out of his hand as the body drops and he scrambles back onto the bus, practically picking up a protesting Val in order to get her out of the way of the door that he immediately slams closed. He lets her go as he collapses into the driver’s seat, wide-eyed and hands shaking, and it takes him a moment to register the sound of his dog whimpering by his knee, let alone that of his own name. When the world comes back into focus, though, Val is staring at him in horror. It takes him another moment to realize why.
“Alex? What the fuck happened?” Whether she sounds more panicked or angry, Alex is far too dazed to tell. Her hands reach for his face, his shoulders, moving down to check every inch. “Are you okay?”
Taking a deep breath, he raises a hand to wipe at his face. No. No he is not okay. “Yeah. I’m fine.”
Val does not look like she believes him at all. “Is that—Fuck. That—That’s blood! Why the fuck are you covered in blood?”
Breathe, Alex. Always a good plan to breathe. “Shh. Don’t…” Never mind. Telling her to keep it quiet is pointless. Everybody else will have heard it already.
He shoves himself back to his feet, legs weak and wobbly, and stumbles as he makes his way through the curtain that separates the cabin from the rest of the bus. It is instantly evident that the rest of the band did, in fact, hear all of that. All three of them are already staring at him before he even properly steps into view. He is pretty sure that Sasha is the one choke out an “on shit” and it is definitely Macy whose response comes out as barely a squeak.
“Blood?” On his feet now, Macy rushes in to cling to Alex’s shirt, bodily fluids not withstanding. “None of it’s yours, right? You’re not hurt? You’re okay?”
Again, Alex reminds himself to breathe, turning just enough so that he can see where Val still stands in the doorway, Parker lying on the floor a foot or so behind her, his ears back and expression scared. For her part, Val is gripping the doorway so tightly that Alex can only assume that she is trying very hard not move and crowd him any further.
“None of it’s mine.” He looks at the faces around him, all of them staring, all confused and various degrees of frightened. It brings everything right back into focus. “We need to—” It takes a deep breath in and a slow breath out to get his thoughts back in line. “Everybody grab a bag, pack food, necessities, just—just whatever.” Stepping a little closer to Val, just near enough to pull one of her hands down from the wall and give it a quick squeeze. “We gotta get outta here.”
---
Nate leans out of the passenger side window just far enough to level his sights on one of the creatures that already looks less human and fires. One shot, between the eyes, and it hits the ground and disappears beneath the feet of its companions. He hears a quiet gagging sound come from the driver’s seat and finds himself feeling a bit queasy in turn. They are both going to need to make some real changes to their perspective re: what constitutes a monster and they need to make those changes really quickly because as of right now, it is going to be really difficult to get out of this mess without completely rewiring their conscience.
“Um, Nate?”
With barely a glance spared toward Dennis, Nate focuses himself on reloading. “Yeah?”
“How many, uh—how many of them are back there?”
The question gives him pause but Nate squints to get a count anyway. “About a dozen in view. Why?”
“Because we need to, uh—we have to stop for a minute.”
Nate drops back into his seat so quickly that he nearly smacks his head off the door. “We what?”
Not even bothering to look at him, Dennis simply peels one shaking hand off of the steering wheel to point at something ahead. “We have to stop.”
Nate has to squint but he starts moving the moment that he sees exactly what Dennis is looking at. “I’ve got the door.”
It was rather obvious even from a single glance at a decent distance that the man up ahead, standing stock still in his torn slacks and a blood, rolled shirt-sleeves, was staring straight past the car speeding toward him and cursing the sight of the ever-growing number of zombies trailing behind. Dennis hits the gas and is slamming the breaks in what feels like no time.
Nate shoves the back door open and feels like there is really no room for argument when he shouts to the man to get in but he has been wrong before and apparently he is right now. Instead of heading straight for them, the guy curses in a language that they are now close enough for Nate to tell is definitely not English and turns away.
“Hey!” Dennis spins in his seat to look behind them, which Nate is sure that he immediately regrets. “What the hell? What’s he doing?”
“I don’t know. He’s just—” And that is when the stranger pulls his gun, takes out three approaching zombies in relatively rapid succession, and finally turns to sprint back toward the car. “—getting a little girl.”
The child is practically flung into the back seat and their new passenger wastes no time slamming the door behind himself and snapping, “Go. Now.”
Dennis really does not need to be told and floors it the second he knows the door is closed.
“Take a left onto Carver,” the man continues, his tone speaking volumes regarding how unwilling he would be to hear any question or protest. “Follow signs for the mall plaza.” He leans out the window to pick off a few more of the monsters before Nate’s slightly incredulous look catches his attention and his scowl is honestly pretty terrifying. “You’ll be out of gas before the edge of town so, under the assumption that you wish to live—”
Nate’s eyes narrow in suspicion but Dennis has absolutely no qualms against following the orders of anyone with a plan right now and practically takes the aforementioned turn on two wheels when he nearly misses it.
---
“Are you sure you can hotwire this piece of shit?”
“It’s not a piece of shit, it’s a fucking classic.”
Val rolls her eyes at that as she continues trying to calm the utterly panicked Macy currently clinging to her so tightly that he might as well just climb into her goddamn skin. “Fine. Can you really hotwire this ‘fucking classic’?”
Two seconds later, the engine revs up as Alex sits back in the driver’s seat with a trin and a waggle of his stupid eyebrows. Sasha squeals in relief and flings her arms around him from her place in the back seat, as he laughs. “My mechanical genius is wasted on this red wire green wire bullshit.”
He pops the trunk just as something begins to stir inside of the nearby diner and Val shoves Sasha aside to squeeze Macy in so that she can help Nico load their bags at record speed. By the time she flings herself into the front passenger seat, there are already zombies starting to stumble out of the woodwork. Fuck seatbelts. “Gun it!”
Alex hits the gas and they peel out of the parking lot just as the diner’s doors give way.
He had tried to explain what had happened while they packed. It had felt impossible for Val to actually wrap her mind around it at first but once she had seen the mess outside? She had practically dragged Alex and Macy off in search of the nearest source of potential transportation. They needed to find something quickly and it needed to be something fast and she needed to not think about how painfully familiar the blood and gore looked, though she had only ever seen anything like it in her nightmares. When Alex had needed to stop and vomit into the nearest garbage can, she had a feeling that she understood why and a little pocket of rage flared to life in her chest – not because he had to stop but because he never should have been the one to wind up with someone else’s blood on his hands.
“Where are we going?” Macy is the one to finally ask, almost inaudible from where he has curled up against Sasha now, and Val catches his eye in the rearview mirror before she looks toward Alex.
Alex, however, is entirely too focused on driving to really think but so much and instead catches her eye before clearing his throat. “Nick?”
In the back, Nico turns away from the horrors outside of his window. “What?”
“How do you defend yourself against a zombie invasion?”
“Wha—Zombies aren’t exactly my specialty here.”
“No,” Alex agrees, “but zombies are supposed to be a helluva lot dumber than, say, Reavers, right? You know Reavers.”
“So?”
“So how would you defend yourself against an invasion of retarded Reavers?”
The drummer just stares at him for a moment with an expression that plainly says that he may consider that to be the dumbest question that he has ever heard. Eventually, thought, there is an answer. “I’d find the most well-stocked, easily-fortifiable location I could think of and hope I could wait out the attack or find some other way to get through them.”
There is silence in the car and then Alex shrugs. “All right. So, where’s the most well-stocked and easily-fortifiable location we can think of?
Five minutes later, they find themselves screeching into the parking lot of the local mall. The location almost seems somehow normal, given the situation at hand. In fact, were it not for the shrieking horde behind them or the knowledge that Alex is currently doing seventy into a public lot, it might almost feel a little reminiscent of home. Val almost finds it funny, really. What’s funnier to her than coming to a mall for safety, however, is the fact that they were obviously not the only ones with that idea, as they are definitely not the only ones pulling into the place with a bunch of undead goons straggling along behind them.
---
“Miguel.”
There is a burst of static in his ear as Viktor leans out to empty his 22 into the crowd of creatures still chasing behind the car that had picked him up on the highway. Once within range, he takes out a couple of the ones latching on to the other car that had pulled in to the lot at about the same time, too. When his magazine clicks empty, he makes a snap decision to save his 20 for later and drops back into the seat to reload. The driver glances at him in the rearview, looking a little bit frightened, while the original passenger only eyes him for a moment before leaning out of the other side with a freshly loaded shotgun. His fellow gunner might not be terribly trusting but at least Viktor can respect that. Besides, who needs trust? The guy’s a fairly good shot.
“Zatratím tě, Miguel!” The little girl still curled up beside him whimpers. He can hear it over the gunfire, the static, all of the goddamned zombies. It is grating on his very last nerve. “Odpovídáš mě!”
He could hope for no better response than to lean back out just in time to watch as a line of four hostiles drops one by one.
“En ingles, ’mano.” Another line of undead hit the ground as the line sputters out then clears up again, leaving room for easily the most welcome voice he has ever known. “Now where the Hell have you been?”
Viktor nearly laughs. “We can trade stories later, miláčku. Right now, I need cover fire while I try to get these people into the posraný mall.”
“Going shopping?”
“Sklapni. We try the mall or they come to your shop.”
“How many?”
Viktor glances toward the other vehicle still circling around the parking lot with them. “Eight plus me.”
“Well, if they dropped you—”
“Miguel.”
“Sí, sí, the mall sounds like a plan. There’s a garage off to your right. No good angle for me to shoot the lock off but I can keep the number of uglies down while you get in.”
“Děkuji.”
“That means thank you, sí?”
Viktor rolls his eyes. “Sí.”
The line bursts back into static with a laugh.
---
As it turns out, the garage door does not, in fact, require a shot to the lock. It rolls up just enough for the two cars to through before Dennis’s little hatchback even hits the ramp. On the other side, a young woman motions for them to hurry while two men in security uniforms stand to either side of the entrance to help keep the monsters at bay, though it appears that this Miguel guy really only needs the most basic of assistance. His precision is honestly kind of terrifying and Dennis is just as glad not to see any more examples of it as he swerves off to one side so that the other car has room. Nate and their scarier passenger are both out before he even has the damned thing in park, seeing to it that nothing gets in the way of girl at the door to slam the thing shut.
“We saw you on the security cameras,” of the security guards explains as he climbs up to try and jam the gears.
The other car’s driver takes a moment to collect himself, then grabs a wrench and makes his way over to the ladder. “Here. Let me have a look at that.”
“Figured we couldn’t just leave you out there.” The guard climbs down to let the driver up. “Then Shannon said she thought you were headed this way.”
“Thanks.” Dennis finally climbs out only to stretch over the top of his car.
The woman now known as Shannon simply smiles. “No problem. Mercy for your fellow man or something like that.” She laughs and shrugs, looking slightly flustered, though that is probably to be expected, all things considered. “Anyway, come on. Let’s get you all inside. We’ve got food, clothes, relatively comfortable furniture… We’ll get you poor things all cleaned up and sorted out in no time.”
There is a general rumble of agreement as the little group follows her to the door that leads into the connected store, allowing themselves to be ushered toward where another girl is waiting somewhat impatiently. That is, they all follow along aside from one man, anyway, who simply mutters something into his headset before switching it off and making his way back over to the hatchback. Shannon looks back, confused, as does Nate, though he looks more suspicious about it.
Dennis just sighs. “The little girl.” Then he ducks through the doorway and drags Nate away after the rest.
---
“Come on, holčička.” Viktor crouches down beside the open car door with a sigh as the child remains curled up in the center of the back seat. Children. How did anyone actually deal with children, let alone have them by choice?
The little girl simply whimpers and mumbles, “There are monsters out there.”
Well, at least the stuttering has stopped and he supposes he can concede that she has a fair point. “The monsters are outside, not with us.”
Before he can receive a response or think of anything more convincing to say, there is someone else coming up behind him, bending down to look the child in the eye with a painfully sympathetic and all too sugarcoated smile. He might be able to handle the sight of it at any other time but right now, with everything that he has just been through and the way that she has the gall to place one of her hands on his shoulder as if—God, he would really like to wipe that smile off of her face.
“Hi, there,” she says, voice floating in a way that speaks plainly of a familiarity with appeasing people under the age of seven. “I’m Shannon. What’s your name?”
Caught slightly off-guard, the child squeaks. “Um. I—I’m—” The little girl shoots a quick glance toward Viktor then, almost as if asking permission to speak with this new stranger before she finally answers. “I’m Amanda.”
Shannon’s smile becomes even brighter, even sweeter, if that is even possible, and Viktor has to dig his nails into his palms to keep himself from taking out her kneecaps when she leans even further over him, hand squeezing his shoulder. “Amanda? Well, that’s a pretty name! Are you hungry, Amanda?”
The little girl nods.
“Well, we’ve got all sorts of food inside. We’ve got toys, too, and games and books and all sorts of neat stuff.”
“And—and no monsters?”
Shannon laughs. “And no monsters.”
Still curled up in the seat, Amanda chews worriedly at her lip for a moment longer, eyes flashing back and forth between the two adults still there in the door. Shannon keeps smiling, encouraging. Viktor just stays crouched there with a clenched jaw and a headache starting to build behind his eyes. When the girl finally moves, though, it does not go entirely as expected. Rather than reaching for Shannon’s offered hand, she instead launches herself forward to wrap her little arms tight around Viktor’s neck and duck her head in under his chin, completely unaware of the rather undignified look of surprise that he is entirely unable to keep off of his face. Unhelpfully, all Shannon does in response is giggle.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
touch every star (5)
main masterlist | thor masterlist | ao3 | previous | next
Pairing: Thor X Cinderella!Reader AU
A/N: How you do creatively conduct a Cinderella Search in a MCU AU fanfic? You’re about to find out.
Warnings: Lots of angst, a really, really shitty boss, but overall this is probably the most pure fic I’ve ever written? SITWELL IS TERRIBLE HERE, AND USES EXCESSIVE LANGUAGE IN THIS CHAPTER.
Words: 3,225
//
To: [ALL:SI.ORG]
From: [email protected]
Hello. Hope all is well.
I’m Thor, Director of Security, and I’m writing today to try to find someone. We met in an elevator, and again at the holiday gala, but never managed to exchange names or information. But I have your mask from the gala, and I was wondering if you might be able to stop by the Security offices (#2045) to pick it up.
If not, please respond via this email or a call to my assistant and we can arrange a meeting elsewhere. I ask that you simply describe the mask to me before I hand it over.
Thank you, and best wishes.
Thor Odinson
Director of Security
212-555-4390
It was the most bizarre email she’d ever read. Maybe she thought so because she knew it was meant for her, but even so, it was still...odd. A little clunky, especially coming from a Director of one of the - if not the - most important departments in the building. She had to stop herself from rewriting it to send back to Thor like she might with Sitwell’s emails to other directors.
After all, that was the only opportunity she ever got around the Accounting department to put her Public Relations degree to use.
Thor Odinson. Director of Security. A busy, important man who was, indeed, way out of her league, had her mask. A man she didn’t know, wouldn’t know, and had already decided not to respond to. Immediately after reading the email, she knew she was never getting that mask back, but she supposed it was for the better.
She’d never be wearing it again anyway. Let someone else claim it, if they could accurately describe it.
Let someone else get the guy that’s too handsome, too funny, too good for you while you’re at it.
Her head spoke but her heart yelled. Her chest had been so tight since that chat with Nat and Wanda that it hurt, but she knew things had to be this way. She was not going to strive for someone that never left his office, never asked for her name, and probably never would’ve even looked her way if they hadn’t been the last two people in the building that night.
She was just a secretary - an extremely busy one, once again - and he was friends with Tony Stark.
An incredibly handsome executive director friend of Billionaire Tony Stark - which, she remembered from their discussion of bosses from the night in the elevator, meant that he also worked for Tony Stark. Forgetting about leagues, they weren’t even on the same level, just the same floor.
She could just imagine what her coworkers - and even Sitwell himself - might say if she...dated someone that much higher than her in the company. She’d seen it happen before, with a well meaning Accountant that should’ve been left alone to do as she pleased, and some agent or something from a few floors up. No one shut up about them for weeks; she’d heard the nastiest things about them in bathrooms and break rooms, and Y/N was not about to willingly face the same fate.
She was so convinced of this avoidance plan until Nat texted her. Apparently, Nat’s new beaux was in on the whole ordeal - or at least that was the only way Y/N could imagine that Nat would know about the email. When she told Nat she wasn’t going to respond, despite saying that she would, the texts turned threatening.
Nat: IS2G IF YOU DON’T GET UR ASS IN THERE AND GET UR MAN I’LL HAVE BUCKY COME DOWN THERE AND DEADASS CARRY YOU TO THE SECURITY OFFICE!!!
Y/N knew that, while Nat was her friend and respected her time and space, she also wasn’t lying. She’d do whatever she could to make this meeting happen, even though Y/N was starting to read the signs that all pointed in the opposite direction. Maybe all they were meant to have was two meetings by chance, and then resume their normal lives. Maybe she was supposed to lose her mask and move on.
Y/N: Nat, i can’t. I’m sure there’s a clause in my contract about interoffice dating or something.
As soon as she wrote it - let alone sent it - she knew it was an excuse. And not even a good one at that. But the shaky feeling in her heart kept her from doing anything about it.
Nat: he doesn’t even work in the same office as you, Y/N! You know who he is and where he is now - GO. TALK. TO. HIM.
She looked up from her desk at the offices across the hall. Security was around the corner, so she couldn’t actually see him from there, but she knew he wasn’t far. His email had made it sound like he’d be in there all day, every day until she came to find her mask.
It would be so easy…
But then her eyes traveled to the list of chores Sitwell had given her today, and she shook her head. Maybe on her lunch break, if she even managed to take one, she’d head down the hall and try to explain the situation to him. Maybe he’d give the mask back, agree that they shouldn’t see each other again, and move on with his life.
All she had to do was ignore the pit in her stomach at the thought that he might forget about her and she’d be fine.
---
She left a note on her desk that said she was going to pick up lunch, but it was a total farce. As far as she can remember, she’s never lied to Sitwell before, but she doesn’t feel so bad doing it now. He’s done more to deserve it than she can remember.
Without looking to see if Sitwell had noticed her absence, she left the office and started around the corner. Her feet felt heavy, but she moved forward anyway. She had to. If she didn’t do this, Nat would get it done for her, and she didn’t like that idea. Even if she felt like she would never match up to Thor, she wanted to be the one to say so.
She owed herself that much, at least.
She came around the final corner and nearly slammed into a woman she’d never seen before. Stopping short, Y/N caught her breath and looked around the woman, only to find a long, boisterous line of other women leading into the security office at the end of the hall.
She tapped the woman she’d almost run into on the shoulder and asked, “Uh, excuse me, but what is this?” If something in the building was wrong, she needed to know. It did mean she’d have to go talk to Sitwell, but at least she’d have a decent reason to.
The woman just barely glanced at her, but she sounded excited when she said, “The director of security’s searching for a mystery woman! Everyone’s taking their turn trying to win him over because he’s very hot.”
Y/N’s face heated. She almost wished something was wrong. She knew she had nothing to be ashamed of and yet, there she was, unsure of what to say next to this woman, or any of the other women in line, truthfully. Somehow they all thought they had a chance of getting her mask, of talking to Thor and making moves and suddenly, as she glared down the long line of women again, she felt…
Unstable? Unsure?
No. No, what was creeping up her neck and along her arms was 100% insecurity. She had no idea who those women were or what their claims to Thor might be, if they had any, but she couldn’t possibly stack up against all of them. And she’d never make it to his office before her lunch break was over. Waiting was pointless, especially since she really didn’t need the mask anyway.
A thought occurred to her then: who’s to say that he had her mask? He’d asked for the mask to be described to him, and just because she’d lost the metal mask she’d worn that night didn’t mean Thor had picked it up and been saving it since then. Her mask could be anywhere, and she could be standing in line only to be made a fool if the one he has belongs to any of these other women.
Nat would be disappointed in her. Wanda, too. But that didn’t stop the fear and crushing weight of the line of women in front of her from making her feet turn and take her back to her office, where she crumpled her note, threw it away, held her head low for the rest of the afternoon.
---
“Val, please hold the line,” he said over the intercom. His assistant didn’t even answer, just held a thumb up to him through the glass walls of the office before she turned to the first woman in the...very...very long line and gave her instructions.
Thor was tired. All day, he’d been dealing with women hellbent on getting the mask. Or, as Val had suggested after reading his email blast, getting him. All day, he’d been turning women away, sighing as he thought of the mask locked in the bottom drawer of his desk. Between meetings with these women and meetings with other execs and departments, his mind strayed only to one woman.
Her. God, it killed him that he didn’t know her name. He’d hoped she’d have seen his email and, if not shown up to claim her mask, at least replied. But none of the emails that came in about it got the description of the mask right. Some came close, but their descriptions were just off enough for Thor to know they weren’t the girl he’d danced with.
His Elevator Crush. That’s what Val had called her when he’d finally told her - because Val was more friend than assistant, but that was mostly just between them.
Why hadn’t she called him? He’d given her all the information she needed to get in touch. She hadn’t sent a message, hadn’t waited in the line - though he couldn’t so much blame her for that - but she hadn’t done anything to show that she was even interested in him or her mask.
Had he dreamt her up? Had she been a figment of his imagination? That didn’t make sense, given the very real mask in his drawer and the extremely visceral memories of her that kept invading his brain whenever he should be doing work.
Did she...not want to see him? Did she not want answers like he did? Had his mother been wrong to suggest this mode of search?
That much, Thor couldn’t say.
He dragged his thumb and forefinger along his chin, shutting his eyes long enough for her laughter to jingle throughout his cranium.
A deep ache in his chest told him that he missed her. A part of him wondered how, when he knew so little about her. But another part, a bigger part, was not at all surprised. He’d thought of only her since she’d run from him, regret and sadness in her eyes, he hoped because they’d been enjoying one another’s company and not because she didn’t like him. He hoped beyond hope that he was reading the situations right.
If he wasn’t… He didn’t even want to go there.
All Thor was prepared to do was let himself hope.
---
At the end of the day, just as she was finishing up her list of chores, Sitwell came out of his office. He had his briefcase in hand and seemed ready to leave, but then he saw Y/N still hard at work and stopped. He cleared his throat and approached her desk, putting his briefcase down because, apparently, what he had to say might take a minute.
“Hello, Mr. Sitwell,” she said, attempting to smile. The day had taken a toll on her, though, so the movement felt lazy and uninspired.
Sitwell smirked. He leaned over the desk, holding his tie back to his chest, and tipped his head a bit. “Did you have a fun lunch break today, Miss Y/L/N?” he asked, tone already condescending and awful.
“I, uh. Just went around the block,” she said, but it was just as lifeless as her smile had been. It was clear she was lying, even to her own ears.
“Oh, sure.” He leaned in even more, so close, Y/N leaned away to keep a safe distance. “The poor little secretary went around the block without any of her belongings on the one day a director on the same floor asked all the eligible women to come pay him a visit. Sure. Only…” And yet again, he leaned in, now using the edges of the desk to keep himself steady. “I see right through you. And honestly, I think it’s quite comical that a woman of your station thought you had a chance with Director Odinson.”
Panic set in. This man was too close, both physically and otherwise. But he was missing half the story, probably more, and Y/N was not about to give it to him. She couldn’t, even if she wanted to, because she found herself stunned into absolute silence.
“You’re a secretary. You do my easy work. You’re nothing. No one. And your ambition is beyond your reach.”
She shook her head, but nothing came out. How was she supposed to explain everything? Why would she even bother?
“You listen and you listen well, Y/N. I will not have some clerical whore reaching into the pockets of my peers. You stay where you’re meant to stay or you’ll be out on the street before you can so much as blink, is that understood?”
She shook. Violent shivers overtook her as anxiety coursed, and she was unable to answer. Sitwell smacked the desk, and the hard slap on the wood made her cringe. A pathetic little whimper escaped her as images of the stepmother she’d run from flooded her mind.
Somehow, she always ended up here: deflated, abused, humiliated, and alone.
“I asked you a question!” Sitwell yelled.
Y/N frantically forced herself to nod. She noticed, then, that she was already crying, and her heart sank even lower than it already had. it managed to find a new low in its cavity.
Apparently pleased by his intimidation, Sitwell’s smirk returned. He humphed proudly, then pushed himself up until he looked down at her through dark eyes.
“Remember who you are,” he said. “That I am above you, and I will be believed.”
---
She skipped dinner with Nat and Wanda, and that ticked them off. They automatically knew something wasn’t right.
So it shouldn’t have been a surprise when they brought dinner to her on a freshly prepared plate, serious looks on their faces even as they calmly asked if their intrusion was okay. They knew Y/N well enough to know she’d never turn them away unless she were sick, but also that she wouldn’t lie to them about being sick even if she wanted to be left alone.
She was too good a friend.
They came in and huddled around Y/N on her bed, watching closely as she picked at the food they’d brought.
“Everything okay?” Nat asked.
Y/N thought about trying to lie to her two closest friends, but the thought didn’t settle in her easily. All she could do instead was shake her head and shut her eyes because if she kept them open, she was going to cry. If she looked either Wanda or Nat in the eyes, she’d lose it.
“What happened?” Wanda spoke up.
If she didn’t want to talk, she knew she could say so. Her friends would let it go, and if they asked again later, she could decide then if she wanted to say anything. But procrastination wasn’t really her style, and letting things sit and muster really wasn’t how she worked. Knowing that, she figured if she talked about it, then she could move on quicker and go about her normal life sooner.
So she told them about the whole day. About the line out of Thor's office, how intimidated she’d been by the women in front of her despite them having said less than sixteen words to her in total. She told them about Jasper Sitwell, too, and they were loud in their objections to his behavior.
“That’s straight up harassment, Y/N!” Wanda said. “You could press charges and-”
But she shook her head. “He’s not worth it. And he’s right - at least in as much as he’s a lot more powerful than I am. I’d never stand a chance against him.”
“You have to quit,” Nat said. “You can’t keep working for that absolute monster.”
“I can’t. I can’t not have a paycheck. I have rent and bills to pay and-”
“We’d take care of that for a while, YN. Don’t stay there like this.” Wanda reached out and gripped her wrist, a softness in her eyes that made her words true and choked Y/N up. “You can let us help you. We want to.”
“If I leave now, he’ll just find another poor girl to do this to.”
“Not if I have anything to say about it,” Nat said. All three of them knew that Nat didn’t have that much to say, but...maybe Bucky did? Maybe, if Y/N wouldn’t go to him for help with Thor (and she wouldn’t, even now), she could trust him with a testimony against Sitwell?
“That man’s been terrorizing you for years, Y/N. This is too far for too long.” Nat wrapped an arm across Y/N’s shoulders and pulled her close, her food all but forgotten. “You deserve better.”
She sat silently for a minute as those words rang around in her head. You deserve better. You. Deserve. Better. No one had...ever said something like that to her. Not before Nat and Wanda.
So she found it hard to believe. Between her stepmother’s abuse and Sitwell’s drilling, all Y/N thought was that she wasn’t good enough, wasn’t hard working or dedicated enough. She was nothing, in Sitwell’s own words.
But didn’t Sitwell lie? Wasn’t he abusing his power by telling her how little she was worth? And, if she was worth so little, why was he keeping her around?
Were her friends right?
At the implication that they were, tears flowed freely.
Because what if she was worthy? What if she did deserve better than what she’d gotten? What if she wasn’t nothing, but the opposite instead? And what if she believed that she was better, worth more, deserved more and better, and wanted it all?
For a fleeting second, she let herself wonder if Thor was better, more, all that she deserved. But just as quickly, she wrote the possibility off. Maybe she was worthy of her friends and better than her boss at being a human, but that didn’t mean she could reasonably reach so far and expect the best.
There was too much opportunity for her to fall if she went that high.
#thor x reader#thor odinson x reader#Thor Odinson#thor fic#thor fanfic#touch every star fic#touch every star#cinderella au
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
Down In the Forest
Summary: Dan Howell is the heir to the throne in his kingdom, due to marry and take the seat within the year. However, he doesn't want that. Running away to the clearing outside of his kingdom every night, he meets Phil, who is from a neighboring kingdom. As Dan develops feelings for Phil, he realizes that his crush on Phil is actually problematic in more ways than one.
Word Count: 6.8k
Warnings: Vampire!Dan
**Read on Ao3**
A/N: This is my second fic written for the @phandomreversebang! It was based on the prompt by @2easy2hate which was essentially a royal vampire!dan au which I thought was super interesting to try and do! My beta for this fic was @hiddenpastry and they were so helpful and encouraging with my procrastination haha I have plans to release an epilogue in the next few weeks where it'll have a glimpse into the future which Val and I agreed will help to tie up whatever may be 'loose' at this end of this one shot.
The forest was a sacred place for Dan Howell. He wasn’t exactly sure why he felt so calm being here, but he did. The sound of the leaves bristling in the wind and the distance chirps of birds were calming. He was used to coming here as soon as he was done with his studies for the day, after the sun had set and no harm would be done to his sensitive skin.
Today was no different for him. Notebook in hand, and bag slung across his body, he trudged through the grass, past the trees, to the small clearing where he took refuge from the day. He chose this place when he was just a child, after fighting with his parents over his obligations.
His first lesson of the day was writing, then it was history, and finally it was his lessons on moral obligations as the heir of his kingdom. He had a list of rules he had to have memorized before he became heir on his 18th birthday...less than a year away. It was a rule in their kingdom that the eldest son takes over as soon as they turn 18 years of age. It was also a rule that 6 months before they take the throne, they need to be married...but Dan didn’t want to think of that. Especially when his first “party” to find his future wife was in less than a week.
That’s partly why Dan ran away at night, after he was dismissed by his teachers. He enjoyed coming here where he could write in his notebook and get immersed in his own little world, where none of this existed and he could be a normal teenager. Not the heir to the most successful kingdom in modern history.
Dan sat down on the grass, leaning back and resting against the tree behind him. He propped his legs up and opened his bag against his side, taking out his notebook. It was getting well-worn, well-used. But that didn’t bother Dan. Not as he opened to the halfway point of the pages and went back to the story he was writing.
He’ll remain here until his hunger gets the better of him, and he’ll have to go back to his kingdom, back to his castle, to feed.
Because that’s one of the rules of the Vaedian Kingdom: you never feed in public.
It’s not uncommon for the people living around the kingdom to know that the Howells had unusual habits. That’s what they say anyway. Dan didn’t realize he was different until he was taught about it...about his immortal abilities.
Maybe as a child, Dan should have known that when his hunger reached a peak, it wasn’t normal to suddenly have glowing red eyes or sharp teeth that jutted out of his gums. But to his family, it was normal. His entire family was this way, so there was no reason for Dan to be any different.
At the thought of food, his stomach grumbles and Dan ignores it, instead he looks down at his notebook and rereads over the last line he had written down. He doesn’t even know what this story is anymore. It’s more like a stream of consciousness, a way for him to gather his thoughts about his ever changing life as he grows older.
He reaches into his bag and pulls out his pen and begins to scribble down the next parts of his story. He lets his hand and his mind interconnect and even just writes until he can’t anymore.
The moonlight is coming down on him, brighter than it was before. The stars in the sky are illuminating everything around him and he supposes that this is the time he should start heading back.
He packs up his notebook and his pen and slowly stands up, stretching from sitting down so long in such a cramped position. He adjusts his clothing and his bag against his hip and begins the short journey back home, where he’ll have a snack and then go lay down in his bed chamber.
***
“Prince Daniel, you were out late last night?”
Dan looks up from his school work to his servant Johnathon in front of him. He’s got a drink in his hand, and he’s setting it in front of Dan. The dark maroon color is enough to make Dan’s stomach swoon at the thought of indulging in it’s glorious taste. He takes the glass and picks it up, taking a long sip and letting the copper taste sit on his tongue.
“If I may ask, your highness, but what do you partake in when you go out at night after your studies?”
“I go to the clearing and write in my notebook,” Dan answers honestly. He can trust Johnathon. He’s been the family servant for literally hundreds of years and he remains as loyal and as faithful to the Howell family and the Vaedian Kingdom as they come.
“What are you writing about?” Johnston asks, “Practicing your writing skills for when you have to make ceremonial statements?”
Dan shakes his head and takes another sip, “I just write.”
“Stories?”
“Sort of,” Dan replies.
He finishes the last of the drink from the glass and sets it back down. Johnathon picks up the glass out of habit. Dan goes back to his school work, finishing up his copying of the 15 Moral Obligations of Vaedian. He only has one through 4 memorized, and he knows his teacher is going to be after him about it today. He’s trying to memorize as many as he can but the problem is that they are so pointless and boring that Dan really can’t find the will to actually give a damn about any of them.
But if he told this to his teacher, or to his father, he would be immediately cast as being traitorous to the kingdom by being the heir and not adhering to the basic standards.
They’ve been around for millennia and Dan frankly just feels like they’re outdated. Maybe when he’s king he can rewrite some of them. But he doesn’t even know if that’s allowed. Somehow he feels like that is even more frowned upon.
“Your brow is furrowed,” Johnathon says suddenly, pointing to the space between Dan’s eyebrows. “Keep doing that and you’ll no longer be a young prince, but you’ll look older than your father.”
Dan lets out a laugh and Johnathon smiles back before turning on his heels and heading out of the living chamber towards the kitchen.
Speaking of his father, Dan knows he has a meeting with him soon about the party where he’ll be meeting his potential wife. But he really is dreading the entire thing, if he’s being honest. He doesn’t want to go through with any that, and for a multitude of reasonings...all of which are frowned upon.
The clock on the mantel suddenly chimes that it’s one and Dan gathers his belongings and stuffs them into his bag before flinging it over his shoulder. He makes his way to the library where his studies will begin soon and he tries to ignore that heaviness in his feet.
Dan has his meeting with his father following his school time, but he wasn’t entirely shocked by that. He knew it was coming when Johnathon found him in the library and told him he needed to report to his father's office as soon as he was done.
It’s even less shocking that when Dan gets there, his father immediately presents him with a series of photos of the various daughters from the neighboring kingdoms and begins to talk to Dan about how he needs to decide on what one he wants to pursue.
Naturally, none of the girls appealed to Dan. But yet again, none of them were going to anyway when he had a natural inclination to prefer men instead. But somehow, he still found himself being bound by the outdated rules of the kingdom and he pointed to the picture of a brunette girl who’s name was written as “Julianna” underneath. His father seemed to like that choice and waved him off as being able to leave now.
So Dan did, back to the clearing where he always went.
He double checked before he left that his notebook was still in his bag and he grabbed a few extra pens as the ink in the one from the night before seemed to be dulling. He intended to spend as long as possible out in his clearing without any disturbance from any of his obligations.
As he passed by the last set of trees and started to walk into the clearing, he immediately stopped in his tracks at the sight of another person that already had beat him there.
His first reaction was to get angry, because this was his secret spot and how dare a person find it without Dan’s permission. He wanted this spot all to himself with no one else here.
But as the future heir, he knew deep down that he couldn’t act that way. And instead when the male looked up, Dan just met his eyes as a look of shock overcame them both.
“I’m sorry,” Dan begins, “but how did you find this place?”
The male set down his notebook in front of him and Dan looked down long enough to notice it was a drawing of a flower. The male was here to draw just like Dan was here to write.
“I just went wandering in the forest and I happened to see this clearing,” The male says. “I didn’t intend for anyone to know about this.”
“Are you drawing?”
The male picks up his notebook, almost like he’s self-conscious about Dan calling him out, and nods, “I don’t have a space to draw without being distracted and being here has been working wonders to ease my block.”
“So you don’t mind that I join you as you draw?” Dan asks.
The male shakes his head, “No, not at all.”
Dan walks into the space and sits down on the opposite side from the man. He takes out his notebook and flips open the pages to where he left off. He fishes in his bag for a pen and pulls it out, uncapping it with his teeth. When he gets ready to write, the voice from the other side interrupts him, “Can I get your name?”
If Dan had a beating heart, he was sure it would suddenly begin to beat fast. But because he doesn't, he was instead subjected to just an overwhelming feeling of anxiety as he thought about the idea of this man knowing who he might be.
It was common for the commoners around them in their kingdom to know the royal family, and to know their names. But it was uncommon for them to know what the royal family looked like. The only time the royal family opened the castle walls was for the lavish parties and the crowning ceremonies.
By the time those events happen, most people don’t even remember what they looked like because they’ve changed. In reality, the royal family is immortal, but their aging is a different story.
“My name is Daniel,” he finally says.
“I’m Philip,” the man introduces himself, “but I prefer to be called Phil.”
Dan smiles. “Then you can call me Dan.”
Phil smiles back at him and Dan feels something that’s akin to a blush.
They mostly sit in silence, both of them working on their own art before Phil yawns and stands up and announces he should head back home. When Dan goes to say goodbye, Phil makes the sudden announcement that they should walk home together to the village.
Dan doesn’t want to tell Phil about him just yet, and so he quickly says he’s going to stay for awhile and they can walk back together another time. At the mention of another time, Phil smiles and asks, “So you’re going to be here again?”
Dan just nods and says, “I come here every night.”
Dan eventually does make his way back, and it’s even later tonight than it was the night before. When he passes through the castle gates and makes his way inside, he’s greeted by Johnathon who gives him another glass of that delicious red liquid. He takes it with him to his bed chambers and sips it through the night.
Dan technically doesn’t need to sleep. He doesn’t feel tired, he just feels lethargic if he’s used too much of his energy. So after he finishes his glass, and sets it in the hallway for Johnathon to grab when he makes his midnight rounds, Dan just lays in bed and closes his eyes.
Sometimes that’s all he needs to feel anything until the sun comes through his curtains and he has to retreat to the living chamber where he works on his studies until his schooling time comes.
***
His mum stops him the next morning after Dan gets up from his bed. She tells him that they have to talk about his party and Dan reluctantly agrees to follow her to her office where she has plans laid out about every detail.
“We’ll bring in the finest pastry chefs to the kingdom for you,” she begins. “All of the cakes that you can think of will be there.”
“How many people are coming?” Dan asks.
“Well, we’re not opening the grand hall up for nothing, my dear Daniel,” she scolds. “So your father sent special invites to all of the kingdoms around us, with a select few going to some families in the village.”
“We’re allowing villagers to the party?” Dan asks, because he’s truly astounded by this fact.
“Of course!” his mother says. “Commoners are always invited to the parties where the heir finds his wife. It’s a status symbol that you should have learnt about in your lessons. Do I need to have a word with Lady Mallory about your studies?”
Dan shakes his head and immediately refuses the proposition, “No, there is no need.”
His mum gives him a stern look and goes back to discussing the plans.
Dan has to admit that parties in the grand hall are few and far between. He actually only believes that his family has only ever had one party there in his lifetime. Other than that, it remains closed to everyone, including them.
By the end of the meeting, Dan’s proper exhausted and even though he has to go to his studies, he would rather retreat to his bedchamber where he can sit and wait for the sun to go down so he can head to the clearing and meet up with Phil again.
Dan doesn’t even know why his mind immediately goes to meeting up with Phil. He’s only met the guy once and even if they did seem to get on rather quickly, there shouldn’t be a reason for Dan wanting to be with him so quickly again.
But yet, he finds his mind wandering to Phil and his raven locks and blue eyes instead. Lady Mallory calls him out on his distractedness but Dan brushes it off as just being a rough day, not because he was daydreaming about another man.
When the lessons are over, Dan doesn't immediately leave to go to the clearing. He goes to the kitchen first and grabs a snack to hold him over. Johnathon hands him a blood cake when he gets there, and Dan immediately partakes in eating it despite the bitter taste it leaves on his tongue.
The blood is getting old now, a bit stale. Dan can tell right away. The taste is nowhere near that fresh copper taste that he loves so much. The grimace that he gives off is enough for Johnathon to speak up, “They’re going on a fresh hunt tonight, my lord. You’ll have new nutrients tomorrow.”
Dan just nods and finishes the rest of his cake before asking for a glass as well and gulping it down.
The sun is way past set when he makes his way to the clearing with his bag slung across his body. He’s half expecting for Phil to not be there, because for mortals, this is late at night. For Dan, it’s really just a beginning for him.
But he still feels a spark of happiness when he moves into the clearing and sees Phil sat in the same position he was in the night before. He’s concentrating hard in his sketchbook, busy working on another piece that Dan is actually a bit curious to see.
Phil looks up and greets him before he can sit down. When Dan finally does settle down, he chooses a spot beside Phil because he’s feeling a bit better about having him here with Dan in the clearing. In a way, it’s making everything feel less lonely even though Dan used to come here for the sole fact that he wanted to be alone, away from everything.
“Dan,” Phil says out of the blue, “have you ever been to a party at the castle?”
Dan suddenly picks his head up, nervous about actually answering the question because he’s afraid he’ll give too much away, “No, I haven’t. Why do you ask?”
“I’m from another kingdom...Vargaria, and not even supposed to be here. But my father was naturally invited to the royal party. While I’ve attended some of the royal parties my father has hosted, I don’t know what it’ll be like to attend the party at this kingdom. If my father knew I was here, he would more than likely disown me.”
Dan suddenly doesn’t like that. He doesn't like knowing Phil is going to be attending the party and seeing him pick his future wife that he doesn't even want, nor love. Furthermore, he doesn’t know how to feel at the thought of Phil admitting to him that he was from a neighboring kingdom, especially Vargaria. Dan knew firsthand that Vargaria and Vaedian have very tense relations.
Everything about this almost feels wrong, like they’re breaching a line of boundaries in their newly found acquaintanceship that shouldn’t be breached.
“What do you think it’s going to be like?” Phil suddenly adds, not letting Dan say anything in regards to his previous admission.
“I’m assuming lavish,” Dan says. “Lots of people, decorations. Fancy dresses and food.”
“Did your family get invited as well?” Phil asks.
Dan doesn’t know how to answer that. Because if he says no, that’s an obvious lie but if he says yes, then how does he handle the situation without giving anything about himself away?
“I don't think so,” he says, immediately feeling regret cloud his mind.
“Oh that’s a shame,” Phil says. “Would have been nice to at least know one person who is there. I feel like I’m going to be horribly out of place.”
“I will be too,” Dan mumbles.
Phil looks up. “What was that?”
Dan stiffens. “I said I would be too.”
Phil just nods and gives him a sympathetic look and goes back to his drawing in silence.
They don’t say much else, which Dan finds fine because the conversation took a turn anyway and he feels it might be rather awkward to continue it and also keep his identity intact.
When Dan returns back to his bed chambers that night, all he can think about is how he shouldn’t have any further contact with Phil. By rule, they’re supposed to remain civil with their relations with each other from the neighboring kingdoms but Dan still knows that this casual of a relationship is frowned upon.
Sitting at his desk and looking out of his window towards the valley and village beneath them, he sighed. Technically speaking, Phil is meant to be an enemy to him. He shouldn’t be doing this. He shouldn’t even be looking forward to meeting up with him in the clearing any further.
Nothing of this sort can happen any more. Dan’s putting a stop to it now.
But then that means that Dan will have to give up his writing spot and that thought makes him a bit sad. He can always find a new one, he supposes. But it won’t be the same.
So Dan doesn’t return to the clearing for 3 full nights. He instead remains home and sits at his desk, unbothered with the window open, and tries to write there instead. He doesn’t get nearly as far in his story as he did when he was in the clearing, but he can’t afford to go there anymore.
It’s not until a final meeting with his father finally snaps him that he decides to go back there, needing and wanting to just get away and put an ending to all of this. He doesn’t want any of this. He wants to remain unbothered. He doesn’t want a lavish party. He doesn’t want to be married. And furthermore, he doesn’t want to be king!
When he gets to the clearing, running as fast as he can, he’s met immediately by Phil, whose expression was less than welcoming. “Why did you lie to me?”
“Lie to you about what?” Dan asks.
“You’re Prince Daniel,” Phil says, “Heir to the Vaedian throne and it’s your party that I’m attending this weekend.”
Dan opens and closes his mouth a few times, “How did you find out?”
Phil turns his head, “My father has warned us about you,” he spits out. “Your kingdom is built on a throne of lies.”
“And I don’t suppose yours isn’t?” Dan snaps back.
“I made a mistake befriending you,” Phil snarls. “My father warned me of you from a young age and I feel half-dumb that I didn’t see through you in the first place.”
Dan doesn’t know what to say or how to react. He’s never been in an altercation like this before and it’s frankly extremely unnerving.
“You can’t even speak for yourself,” Phil says, crossing his arms over his chest.
“I don’t have anything to say to you,” Dan spits back. “The kingdoms of Vargaria and Vaedian have always been tense. I should have known from the first mention of your kingdom that this was nothing but trouble.”
“That’s tough speak for someone who intends to marry my sister,” Phil presses. “I was told today that you’re planning on marrying Julianna.”
Dan’s memory snaps back to the name of the kingdom on the bottom of the picture of Julianna and he suddenly feels a bit ill. He didn’t even know that’s what he’d chosen but maybe that’s why his father had seemed so pleased with himself.
“You’re not marrying her, and our kingdoms are not going to be united by the bloody hands of you.”
With that, Phil turned on his heels and walked away, leaving Dan feeling anger beyond anything that he has ever felt before.
How could he ever think that Phil was ever a decent person? Surely his first mistake was trusting a stranger anyway.
When Dan walks back to the castle that night, he feels an overwhelming sense of dread, and he finds himself resting in bed the entirety of the following day.
***
“The party is in two days, Daniel, and you’ve hardly done anything in preparation for it.”
Dan looked down at his notebook that was poised open in front of him to avoid the unwavering gaze of his mother as she hounded him about this. He didn’t want to go through this lecture again. It’s one that he’s gone through three separate times now over the past day.
“I wasn’t aware I had any preparations to do,” Dan snapped back.
His mother rolled her eyes and tossed up her hands, almost in defeat. “Well, have you ever sent a letter to Julianna of Vargaria?” She asked. “The kingdom has sent a letter on your behalf but you should have known to send the letter yourself as well.”
“I wasn’t aware of that.”
“Good Lord, Daniel! What has gotten into you?” His mother finally snapped. “We have been preparing for this day for almost 18 years and you’re about to ruin it all. I don’t understand where your attitude has gone these past few years. You’ve turned into a snub-nosed little brat!”
Dan flinched at the insult, trying to not let it get to him. So many thoughts ran through his head. Like how his parents lied to him for so many years. How they never actually cared about him, just about their kingdom and its reputation. About how they hid who he really was until he was old enough to realize that he’s been born into a kingdom of vampires amongst humans.
Finally, with the tip of his tongue clicking against the back of his teeth, he spits out, “I don’t want to marry and I don’t want the throne.”
He slams his notebook shut and gets up to leave when the feeling of her hand on his wrist in a tight grip stops him. He whips his head back, staring at her aggravated expression.
“You’re not leaving right now,” she says.
“I have nothing more to say right now,” Dan says back, trying to remain calm but his demeanor failing quickly.
She lets him go and he quickly rushes out of her office, ignoring how deafening the silence from her was to his ears when he heard no more cries of protest leave her.
His eyes gathered with tears and he fought to keep them back as he desperately wished more than ever that he was never born into this life. He should have never been born as a royal and he should have never been born immortal. He would have much rather loved to have been a commoner who receives one life and then gets spared the rest of eternity.
Before he knows it, he’s ran back to his secret clearing. Dan stood there, his chest heaving and his eyes watering heavier as he lost his battle and unleashed the sobs that wracked his frame.
“Oh what does the prince of bloodsuckers have to cry about today?”
Dan picks up his head and sees Phil sitting there, drawing away in his sketchbook again. Dan honestly wishes he would have never encountered him again but it’s clear that luck did not work in his way.
“Don’t you have somewhere else to go?” Dan asks. “Somewhere maybe in your own kingdom?”
Phil just shrugs and looks back down at his sketchbook, “It’s easier to be here than it is to be back home.”
Dan sits down on the grass and wipes away the wetness from his cheeks. He should be embarrassed crying this much over something as stupid as the mention of the rest of his life. He should feel embarrassed for the fact that he was crying in front Phil after what had just happened between them.
But another part of him just doesn’t care anymore. He doesn’t care about any of this. He wants everything to just cease around him and end but it’s never that simple. It’ll never be that simple as long as Dan is immortal and the world around them still passes like normal.
“Why were you so nice to me when we first met?” Dan finds himself asking.
Phil shrugs again and doesn’t speak.
“What made you change when you found out who I was?”
The curiosity was getting to Dan, not just because this was Phil, but because his mother's words were still eating away at his core but he also felt like maybe it was a bit rebellious to speak to the kingdom he’s supposed to be marrying someone from.
Phil looks up and Dan sees his expression quickly change from hardened to confusion. He blinks a few times and then finally speaks, “Does it really matter?”
Dan wipes the remaining wetness from his cheeks and shrugs because no, it really doesn’t. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to know. He does want to know why in a way.
“So what are you drawing today?” Dan asks.
Phil turns the sketchbook around and shows him an array of flowers and trees. It’s actually really beautiful. But Dan doesn’t want to stroke his ego and tell him so after their outbursts.
They sit in silence for a while, and eventually Phil leaves without saying a word. Dan supposes that wasn’t all that painful. In a way, he did see Phil as a sort of new friend when everything was just beginning with them. So for him to be seen that way again in a new light wasn’t all that bad.
His stomach is rumbling by the time he finally gets up to make his way back home. He’s feeling a bit lethargic, and his skin a bit inflamed. And it’s only when he’s back in the castle and he falls to his knees while Johnathon grabs him, that he realizes he was just in the sun for a little bit with nothing to eat.
In that respect, he almost got his wish that everything would just end.
***
It’s the morning of the party and Dan wants nothing more than to leave and run away. He doesn’t want to make an appearance in front of everyone while he meets Julianna for the first time. He still only has a vague knowledge of what she looks like, just based on the photo that he was presented with for her.
And what’s worse is that all he could see was Phil in her features.
Dan wishes that he could forget about Phil. He knows that he needs to, but yet he can’t stop thinking about his special spot and seeing Phil there every time that he’s gone for the last few trips.
They got along so well when they first met, and Dan really does deep down want to be friends with Phil. He’s not even sure why his heart is telling him that it’s the right thing to do but yet, he does feel deep down that it is.
He’s confused.
Dan’s known for as long as he’s been able to freely think that he wasn’t attracted to women. He much preferred men. It’s something that he’s had to keep a secret, but he did tell Johnathon in pure confidence when the overwhelming urge of shame for his kingdom overtook him one night when he was told about the marriage.
Now that he was actually being forced to marry for the good of the kingdom, his memories of the days where he used to dread this are now here. He’s stood in front of his wardrobe, with his ceremonial garb hung in front of him. Tears are gathering in the corner of his eyes and he’s realizing now that he can’t back out from this.
A knock on his bedroom door shakes him out of his head and he wipes away the tears with the back of his head as he yells an airy, “it’s open” towards the door.
His door slowly opens and Johnathon walks in, a glass on a tray balanced on his hand, “You were looking a bit peckish earlier, Daniel. So I brought you a fresh drink to hopefully give you some more life.”
Dan lets out a small laugh as he walks towards him and takes the glass in his hand, indulging in the coppery taste on his lips. Nothing will ever be better than fresh blood, but it’s unfortunate in the fact that it’s in high demand: it’s not all that plentiful.
“Where did this come from?”
“A freshly hunted deer from just a few hours past.”
Dan nods and finishes the rest of the drink in one gulp. He hands Johnathon back the glass and wipes the excess liquid off from his lips with his hand.
“Are you ready for this evening?” Johnathon asks him, the question seemingly out of the blue.
Dan shakes his head, “I don’t think all the years in the world would ever make me prepared for this evening.”
“It’s not your royal marriage ceremony, you know,” Johnathan says in sympathy. “It’s just meeting a potential wife. You can still turn her down if you feel like she is not fit for you. There will be plenty of other suitors who will love to…”
“Johnathan, you know that I don’t want to marry a woman,” Dan says.
“But I’m afraid you have no choice.”
“I’m aware,” Dan answers back, his words catching in his throat, “but I’m afraid that I think I have many fallen in love with someone else.”
“And who might this person be?” Johnathan asks.
“A man.”
***
The party is in full swing. Everyone is in extravagant gowns and Dan, looking down at the guests from the balcony of the dining hall, can see how fancy everyone looks. Dan casts his glance around the perimeter, seeing if he can spot who he’s looking for. And sure enough, stood with a drink in his hand was none other than Phil, laughing with what appeared to be his sister, Julianna.
Dan’s due to make his way down the grand staircase in just a few moments. During this time, he’ll be expected to walk down the stairs, stop at the end, and extend his hand out to Lady Julianna. He’ll talk her hand, they’ll walk to the middle of the dining room, where the guests are mingling, and will perform their first dance together. If Dan likes what he sees and what he’s been presented with, he can then announce at the end he has chosen to marry her.
But Dan already knows he’s going to turn her down.
Dan’s not sure when he fully came to the conclusion that he, deep down, was actually falling for Phil. Maybe it came when he realized he couldn’t stop thinking about him. Or when he couldn’t stop thinking about how well they got along before they realized who each other were.
Or maybe it’s a deep seated need inside of Dan’s core to just say fuck the system and to do what he wants to. Which is not only marry a man but also marry someone he shouldn’t even be marrying.
In some convoluted way, he’s halfway there if he marries Julianna.
Just then, the music slowly starts and Dan feels an ache in his chest that surely would be his heart thumping if it actually beat. He squeezes his fingers in his palms and slowly moves into the view of the bottom of the staircase where everyone is gathered around, staring up at him. He hates the attention. More than anything else, he just wants to hide and be away from everyone's center of sight.
His mother and father are stood at the foot of the stairs with Julianna standing in between them and everyone else standing behind. Julianna looks beautiful, Dan can’t even disprove that. Her features are stunning and her dark hair is cascading so nicely over the shoulders of her dress. Dan almost feels bad knowing he’s not going to actually marry her.
He descends the stairway and makes it to the bottom where he takes Julianna’s outstretched hand and leads her to the center of the ballroom. They make eye contact and Dan sees her beautiful blue eyes staring back at him with intent, a smile on her lips.
When he looks at her, all he can imagine is Phil...and he feels a bit sick.
Dan loses eye contact with her halfway through their dance. But that could also be because he keeps stepping on her toes and he knows that she’s flinching and giving him some looks but really, he can’t be assed to change the way he’s stepping. He doesn’t want to be here so why would he focus on doing a perfect first dance?
The music stops and he bows and she curtsies back. They turn to the crowd and bow again as everyone applauds. He turns back to her and gives her a quick smile before separating from her and rushing away.
He’s only just arrived to the party and he already can’t stand to be there for any longer. He wants out. He wants to leave, to not be there anymore. He grabs at the collar of his top and rips open the buttons, letting the fabric fall open, exposing his neck to the cool night air.
Dan’s running out of the kingdom now, and he’s not looking back. He’s never used his fast speed before for anything other than some gimmicks when he was a kid, but now he’s running as fast as he can to the clearing. When he gets there, he stops short and collapses to the forest floor, tears running down his face.
He’ll have to leave his kingdom now. He can’t go back there. He’s made a fool out of everyone...including himself. What was he thinking running away like that?
Oh right...because Dan can’t marry Julianna when he’s in love with her brother. Like the pathetic person he is, he’s going to spend the rest of his immortal days pining over a guy who hates him and who Dan should hate back but can’t.
He furiously rubs away the tears from his eyes and takes a shuddering breath as he tries to calm himself down. He can survive in the forest, Dan supposes. He’s never had to hunt for his subsistence before but he can surely do it. He’s just gotta catch a deer or two, right?
God, he’s never gonna be able to make it. He should have never ran away.
“What a performance.”
Dan looked up and followed where the voice was coming from. Phil was stood next to a tree, his arms folded over his chest. Dan didn’t really want to face him right now. He just wanted to be as far away from any of Phil’s family and kingdom as he could be after humiliating himself with Julianna.
“If it makes you feel any better, Julianna didn’t like you either,” Phil says with a chuckle.
“How bad is it?” Dan asks, the words catching in his throat.
“Everyone is a bit chaotic but I left in the midst of it all,” Phil says, walking forward and then taking a seat next to Dan.
“I figured.”
“I don’t blame you,” Phil says. “My family is wanting me to marry someone as well but I can’t find the reason to want to.”
“Yeah…” Dan says, “I just do not fancy…”
Dan stops himself and looks at Phil who is studying him with wide eyes.
“You’re attracted to men?” Phil says, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
Dan hides his face and then picks it back up and nods slowly.
“I am too,” Phil says softly.
They sit in silence, and Dan feels like he can cut the tension with a knife. He’s never been in a situation or a conversation like this before. It was a bit daunting and a bit terrifying all at the same time. He didn’t know what to think or how to react.
“When I first met you, I was really happy to find someone that was like me,” Phil says. “In my Kingdom, I was the outcast. I never fit into what anyone else was doing. That’s why I came here to draw. Being here was like an escape from that and when we started meeting up, I genuinely felt like I was meeting someone just like me.”
Dan felt the same way. He could never put into words how he felt about meeting Phil but this was exactly it. Meeting Phil felt the same way for him. Maybe that’s why he took a liking to Phil so quickly?
“I felt the same way,” Dan says. “I really liked being able to just sit here with you.”
Suddenly, a hand is coming up and touching Dan’s cool skin. His chin is being tilted to the side and Dan follows the lead as he comes face to face with Phil. Phil leans in and presses their lips together in a burning kiss. Phil’s lips felt so warm in comparison to his.
When Phil pulls back, Dan stares at him, not sure what to do. Phil just laughs, “Your lips are cold.”
Dan just laughs and shakes his head, “Comes with the whole...package.”
They sit in the clearing for a while longer until Dan can hear his name being called by Jonathan and he figures he needs to actually go back and face whatever consequences are bearing his name. He makes his way back to the castle but not before sharing another quick kiss with Phil and then saying goodbye as they both leave.
At the castle, Dan is yelled at and cursed at and then banished to his sleeping chamber which he knew was going to happen anyway. When he gets to his room, he strips down and dresses into his nightgowns and slips into the seat at his desk. He opens up his notebook that he’s been writing in and he writes down the words:
I love Phil from Vargaria
#phan#phanfic#phanfiction#angst#happy ending#vampire!dan#royal!au#phandom reverse bang#prb20#princesslexi763fics#my fic
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
This is as it states above, an Endgame rewrite. While I’m not editing the events of the movie, I am adjusted how my character was portrayed and how he was treated, especially by other characters in universe. If I change something and you do not agree with it, we can discuss it, but I feel like my changes are minimal and may in fact be more in character than the way these characters were portrayed in the movie. If I don’t mention any changes to a specific part of the movie, expect that it remains movie canon.
I could go on and on about how badly Thor was treated, how ooc some of the characters were as a whole and how they fridged yet another female character while intending to continue profiting off her by giving her a solo movie, all the while knowing that she ultimately dies for some bizarre redemption arc that she didn’t even need because they couldn’t be bothered to give her a real personality in the first place and instead forced upon her numerous situations which made zero fucking sense. (Shout out the to the Nat writers who actually give her depth and expand on her history and personality and make her a three dimensional character. That is what we deserved in a female hero.) But I won’t. I will try and keep this short. (Update: I tried but it’s not short.)
Let me make this very clear: I have NO issue with Thor being fat. My version of Thor did let himself go too, if only to a lesser extent. Being fat has nothing to do with your value and worth as a person and fat people deserve as much love and respect as ‘not fat’ people. But that’s the problem, isn’t it? Thor got fat. He was not treated with respect. He was turned into a joke and reduced to a punchline. His pain was ignored, his right to express and work through his trauma was ignored, and according to canon, even Bruce, who Thor had just found and liberated from two years stuck on Sakaar as the Hulk, didn’t even bother reaching out to see if his friend was ok. Spoilers: he was not.
I know the Avengers aren’t as close as in the comics. I know that. It’s something we were robbed of and we will always have deserved better than seeing them hangout like twice. But they were a team. They were friends. They respected one another and they did in fact grow together after New York. Even though they didn’t spend all their time together, we are led to believe that they have a bond. If we accept that, moving forward, then like…what the fuck????
There were red flags before he killed Thanos, and uh the fact that he seemed ‘fine’ after killing Thanos, knowing they had all failed, is one of the biggest fucking red flags of them all. I assume Thor immediately dove head first into getting his people settled, but I’m more than certain that his self isolation, his guilt and his rage manifested long before anyone found him playing video games and shotgunning a can of beer. This is one of the changes I’m making for my Thor. Thor also DID NOT abandon his people so he could play video games. After killing Thanos, his goal was to help what remained of his people. He likely maintained some facade of normalcy when dealing with the things that such a task entailed, like interacting with other people and being King, but his suffering was already evident to those around him, (ie. Valkyrie and yes, probably even Bruce.)
Was he in the best mindset? No. Did he isolate himself and push people away? Yes. But at least at first, he did try and be a good leader. It got worse as time went on and eventually Valkyrie had to step in but he really did try his best. He probably turned to video games later when Korg was able to convince him to have some “human” contact. Where were his friends, in the movie? Everyone was dealing with the Snap in their own way, but even Bruce was off finding himself, living his best life while the man who was supposed to be his friend was losing himself in grief and alcohol and carbs.
The idea that like he said “go away” and everyone was like OKAY BYE for five years doesn’t jive with me. For the most part I have it that at the very least, Bruce actively made the effort to spend time with Thor and his people in their new home. Could he fix Thor or necessarily stop his behaviour? No. But he wasn’t just gonna leave him. Same with Val. We don’t know how hard she tried to get through to him but I like to think she would have reached out to SOMEONE when Thor’s drinking got out of control and he started idk neglecting everyone and everything else. I’m not saying everyone should have dropped everything to be involved with Thor. I understand they had lives, and they had to keep living them, while dealing with their own feelings. But you’re telling me Natasha, head of the remaining Avengers, never checked in on Thor? Didn’t keep tabs on him? You’re telling me Steve Rogers never swung by? Never picked up the phone? I mean, Thor wasn’t exactly hiding off the grid, guys. The movie isolated Thor and made it seem like no one cared about him, but I don’t think that’s true.
The rest of the movie basically plays out the way we see it. I also think Thor would have tried to warn his mother about what happened, but since it was implied that Freya already knew what was coming, it wouldn’t have helped. I just can’t see him seeing his dead mother for the first time since she died and not trying to do something to help. As for still being worthy, this was one of the only redeeming Thor related moments. Yes,Thor was fat. Yes, Thor was an alcoholic.Yes, Thor had failed to save Loki and Heimdall. Yes, he had been struggling for five years with the ptsd and the survivors guilt. But he was still worthy. Despite everything the writers of these movies took from him, Thor remained as worthy as he ever had been. At the end of the movie, when he hands rule over to Valkyrie, it is because while he found himself in The Dark World, and figured out who he wanted to be and what his place was, by the end of the Infinity War arc, Thor is lost again. He needs time to remember who he is, to heal. That’s what he’s going off to do. He’s not abandoning his people, YET AGAIN.
This rewrite is just to underscore that Thor is not a fucking joke. He suffered, and still does suffer, post Endgame. But he wasn’t some lazy slob who didn’t try, and his so called friends didn’t abandon him in his time of need.
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
HEADCANON / VALKYRIE CAIN : POST TDOTL
since bedlam is around the corner, i’d just like to remind everyone who’s following me for val that phase 2 is NOT part of my canon. i read spx & spxi, idk if i’ll read more of the sequels as they come out, but either way, phase 2 will affect my portrayal of val marginally at best. this headcanon is a rewrite of my interpretation from my old val blog from way back & it’s under a cut because it’s long af. if you want the tl;dr, feel free to give me a shout, but i’d appreciate it if you gave this a read.
when all is said and done, there’s just — silence. valkyrie didn’t really have any peace and calm and SILENCE in years — darquesse was never really gone. all those little thoughts in the back of her mind that had actually been her — they’re gone now. completely. and just then does she realize what had been darquesse and what had been her, and it SHOCKS her, because on the one hand she notices just how LITTLE of herself is actually left now — she doesn’t feel like ‘ stephanie edgley ’ anymore, because stephanie edgley was killed by darquesse — and she’s not darquesse anymore, either. and on the other hand, she notices just how many of the bad thoughts were actually her own after all.
and the entirety of the magical community knows who she was now, and we already saw in TDOTL how some of them treated her, so she doesn’t feel safe in ireland anymore. china and skulduggery probably made sure no one would bother her, but she’d just FEEL it, anyway. the glances and talks behind her back. the polite, but distant and forced conversations. poorly hidden disdain and hatred. outright animosity and confrontations, sometimes moving into outright attacks she doesn’t have the heart or energy to fight off. it’s hard to bear, and she begins to stay at skulduggery’s house when he’s at the sanctuary more and more often. ( although things are still a bit tense between them since he made her think he’d die and she told him she loved him. ) or at gordon’s, although she doesn’t like to be there unless it’s absolutely necessary, because it’s just as empty as her head now.
she doesn’t really like to go home either, because now her parents know who she is and they simply don’t treat her like their daughter anymore. they treat her with such care and they’re always so worried and she feels like she doesn’t even know them anymore. and it’s kind of TRUE, because she hasn’t seen them often since the war between the sanctuaries started and even before, it’s been becoming less and less, and it just makes her feel guilty and sad, so she keeps to herself a lot. and even though she tells herself that she’s their daughter and they love her, she can’t help but feel that she’s disappointing them, because she can’t be the reflection who cared for them so much and then died, and she just can’t get a grip on who she really is anymore. ( and of course, there are the memories, and whenever she looks at her parents or alice, it all comes back again, and she feels like she’s suffocating, like the weight of her actions will crush her. valkyrie knows she’s not darquesse anymore, but she IS the person who did that terrible thing to her little sister, and shoe doesn’t know if she can ever come back from that. )
and one night she just snaps. it’s all becoming too much and she can’t handle it anymore, so she arranges everything in silence while staying at gordon’s house, packs all the stuff she needs and doesn’t even say goodbye to her parents, she just shows up at skulduggery’s doorstep in the middle of the night, and says that she can’t go on like this and she really, really needs to go. and then she leaves, all alone, and goes to america to figure herself out.
and some time after, maybe one or two years, she finds a soaked and underfed little puppy at the side of the street one rainy day and took it to the vets. and she WANTED to bring it to a shelter afterwards, but eventually just keeps her because it seems just as lonely as she is herself, and those big, sad eyes kinda remind her of fletcher, so she couldn’t leave it behind and takes it in instead.
she slowly figures out who she is and who she wants to be, when she can actually bring herself to think about it at all, and eventually comes to terms with herself over there, and after getting shoved back into action ( the only thing that was in TDOTL & is canon ) she’s really ready to come home. however, she forgot that while she figured out who she was and what she wanted from her life ( and from the people in it ), her family and friends at home did that too, just that they didn’t even know where she was or if she’d come back at all; they simply COULDN’T include her in those plans.
[ NOTE: THE FOLLOWING REACTIONS OF OTHER CHARACTERS ARE SIMPLY MY THOUGHTS & NEITHER REPRESENT CANON NOR OTHER PEOPLE’S INTERPRETATIONS. THEY ARE NOT INTENDED TO BE CANON IN INTERACTIONS, BUT THEY INFLUENCE MY PORTRAYAL OF VAL. ]
tanith would’ve stayed in Ireland for a while, but then went back to england because really, what was left for her there? the memories of a dead lover and a lost sister she doesn’t even know anymore.
valkyrie’s parents had to take care of alice — who is 8 by the time she comes back, and has only ever seen pictures of her sister — she wouldn’t even recognize her on the street. and Melissa may be happy when valkyrie comes back, but she’d also be angry at her for leaving without a word in the first place.
desmond and china might be the least affected by it — they’d both understand. desmond, because he’s her dad and he took her time away to remember all the stuff his grandfather taught him about magic and the dangers of it, and he understands that something terrible must’ve happened and that they simply can’t help her because they don’t understand, so he lets her go when she needs to be away, but he welcomes her with open arms when she comes back. and china because one, she’s not really one for change, and two, she probably missed her too, if just a little ( & because skulduggery became WAY more silent and reclusive since then, much like when she was darquesse ) and three, she’d probably understand her, because she has her own wrongdoings of the past she once had to come to terms with.
of course, skulduggery would understand, too, in a way. with lord vile, he probably understands her better than anyone, but that’s why her leaving hurts him the most? because she KNOWS this about him, and yet she won’t let him help her figure it out. he was alone then, and he doesn’t want her to be this alone, but she just NEEDS it at the time, despite knowing that he understands and wouldn’t judge her, and would even leave her the space she needs. the thing is, as long as ANYONE is around, she would look at them and start blaming herself for EVERYTHING that happened to them, and that includes skul — because she left him alone and she wasn’t strong enough to keep darquesse out and in the end he even had to become vile again and she’s just so SORRY for everything, but she knows she can’t GO ON hating herself and skul wouldn’t want that, which is why he wants her around — to show her she doesn’t have to hate herself and that there’s still people who love her and all, but she needs to believe that herself and not only be TOLD this by others. ( and still, she’s very certain that she will never quite stop despising herself for what she did, because there’s no way to forgive THAT. )
she never even answered his mails or calls in america, athough she cried for hours after listening to every voice mail he left, and she’d listen to them on repeat when the homesickness is becoming too much. he still keeps calling, and informes about her family ( he and desmond actually become really close friends in those 5 years. ) to them, she doesn’t speak, either — because she just knows one word from alice would immediately rip her out of her self-chosen exile, would make her want to go back, make things right; would make her want to prove that’s she’s a better person now, just that she’s not yet sure she actually is.
and when she eventually comes home, she and skul meet again after all this time and they’re happy to see each other, but something’s just broken between them. they’re not these synchronised partners anymore — one of them is always slightly off track. like, skul wants to touch her. hug her, hold her hand, brush her arm, all those little things just to make sure she’s actually back & everything, like after she came back in TDOTL. but val hasn’t really been touched in 5 years and just — she’s HAPPY he’s doing it, but she can’t help flinching every time because she isn’t used to it anymore, and at one point he stops doing it and their problem is that they don’t talk about it. about all those little mistakes and about their thoughts on it and for a while everything is kinda tense and feels almost fake.
it would take so long for them to get truly comfortable around each other again. it would only strengthen their bond eventually and all, but for the first few months it’s just uncomfortable and kind of like before she went away — she doesn’t like being around anyone at first, because she became so used to being alone, and she’d move into gordon’s mansion for good. slowly, she would start spending more and more time with her father and china. she’d call tanith and cassandra at some point and meet up with them. approaching fletcher is a lot harder, because she’s not sure he’d even want to see her. and it would take her a while to get herself to meet alice, even if she missed her sister terribly ( though she still feels guilty when looking at her and alice takes a while to get to know her again. ) of course she’d see skulduggery quite often, but it’s some time until they really start spending their freetime together as much as they used to, and until things fall into that easy rhythm between them again.
#╰ ( hc ) valkyrie cain.#( do i support blandy and his bull ? no. will i stan valkyrie cain till the end of my days ? probably yes. )#q.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Impeachment Managers Deliver Charges to Senate, Paving the Way for Trial https://nyti.ms/2TmKO3o
House Delivers Impeachment Charges to Senate, Paving the Way for a Trial
The House impeachment managers walked the articles of impeachment across the Capitol after a long-anticipated vote to start what promises to be a fiercely partisan impeachment trial of President Trump.
By Nicholas Fandos and Sheryl Gay Solberg | Published Jan. 15, 2020 Updated 6:41 p.m. ET | New York Times| Posted January 15, 2020 |
WASHINGTON — A team of newly appointed House impeachment managers marched two charges against President Trump across the Capitol on Wednesday, delivering them to the Senate along with a formal notification that they were ready to begin only the third presidential impeachment trial in American history.
The highly choreographed procession, hours after the House voted almost entirely along party lines to send the articles and appoint the managers, was the beginning of what promises to be a historic, if partisan, impeachment trial, a proceeding that has already opened divisions in the normally staid Senate.
The tribunal, the first impeachment trial to play out in a presidential election year, has the potential to shape Mr. Trump’s legacy, to stoke the country’s political polarization and to inject new uncertainty into the 2020 elections.
The 228-to-193 vote to adopt the articles and appoint the managers came almost a month after the House impeached Mr. Trump on charges of abuse of power and obstruction of Congress, formally accusing him of seeking foreign election assistance from Ukraine and then trying to conceal his actions from a House inquiry. Only one Democrat, Representative Collin C. Peterson of Minnesota, joined every Republican in voting “no.”
Now the trial is set to begin. On Thursday the Senate will invite the impeachment managers to formally exhibit the articles. Once they do, the Senate will summon Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr. to preside and all senators will take an oath to administer “impartial justice.”
The Senate must promptly issue a summons to the president informing him of the charges and requesting a response. At the White House on Wednesday, an irate Mr. Trump denounced the inquiry anew as a “hoax,” and encouraged Republican lawmakers to rally to his defense shortly before the vote.
“I’d rather have you voting than sitting here listening to me introduce you,” he told lawmakers during a signing ceremony for an initial trade deal with China, instructing them to leave if they needed to cast votes at the Capitol against moving forward with impeachment. “They have a hoax going on over there — let’s take care of it.”
The process could damage the president, exposing conduct that some voters find unacceptable, but Mr. Trump is almost certain to use his likely acquittal in the Republican-controlled Senate as a complete exoneration and turn the considerable apparatus of his campaign to stoking public outrage over the process. Democrats believe the proceeding will put pressure on Republicans — particularly those facing tough re-election challenges — to condemn Mr. Trump or risk being cast as an apologist for his misdeeds.
“We are here today to cross a very important threshold in American history,” Speaker Nancy Pelosi said as she spoke on the House floor before the vote. Regardless of the outcome, she added, Mr. Trump would be “impeached for life.”
Earlier Wednesday, Ms. Pelosi introduced the lawmakers who would serve as prosecutors, or managers, of the case. Both chambers were also grappling on Wednesday with a trove of new documents related to Mr. Trump’s pressure campaign that played into Democrats’ arguments that any trial must include new witnesses and evidence. More material was expected to be disclosed, according to an official working on the impeachment inquiry.
“Time has been our friend in all of this because it has yielded incriminating evidence, more truth into the public domain,” Ms. Pelosi told reporters, arguing that the revelations had validated her strategy to delay pressing charges for weeks.
In the Senate, the contours of an unpredictable trial were taking shape as crucial Republicans indicated they would soon debate the issue of whether to call witnesses during the proceedings.
Senator Susan Collins, a moderate from Maine, said she had worked with a cluster of like-minded Republicans — Senator Lamar Alexander of Tennessee, Senator Lisa Murkowski of Alaska and Senator Mitt Romney of Utah — to ensure a vote on the matter after opening arguments from each side, which Senator Mitch McConnell of Kentucky, the majority leader, has already proposed.
Ms. Pelosi announced an ethnically and geographically diverse prosecution team that will be led by Representative Adam B. Schiff of California, the chairman of the Intelligence Committee who led the Ukraine inquiry.
He will be joined by Representatives Jerrold Nadler of New York, the chairman of the Judiciary Committee, Zoe Lofgren of California, Hakeem Jeffries of New York, Val B. Demings of Florida, Jason Crow of Colorado and Sylvia R. Garcia of Texas.
Several of the lawmakers have courtroom experience of some kind, a quality Ms. Pelosi said she had sought. Two, Mr. Crow and Ms. Garcia, are both first-term members.
The managers met for the first time as a group on Wednesday to discuss strategy in the basement chambers of the Intelligence Committee, where the impeachment inquiry unfolded last fall.
In the coming days and weeks, the managers will try to lift their arguments against Mr. Trump above partisan politics. Their task is twofold.
First they will aim to recreate the highlights of the two-month investigation into the Ukraine matter, relying on testimony from more than a dozen senior American diplomats and White House officials who outlined a broad campaign by Mr. Trump to use the levers of his government to exert pressure on Ukraine to publicly announce investigations into former Vice President Joseph R. Biden Jr. and claims that the Democrats colluded with Ukraine in the 2016 election. The president, they said, ultimately withheld $400 million in military aid earmarked for Ukraine and a coveted White House meeting for its new leader as leverage.
“This trial is necessary because President Trump gravely abused the power of his office when he strong-armed a foreign government to announce investigations into his domestic political rival,” Mr. Nadler said during a brief debate on the House floor before the vote.
But Republican leaders on both sides of the Capitol appeared unmoved. Mr. McConnell called the House’s three-month Ukraine investigation “a pale imitation of a real inquiry.” Representative Kevin McCarthy, Republican of California and the minority leader, called the whole process a “national nightmare.”
Both men also accused Democrats of hypocrisy for their decision to delay bringing the charges for nearly a month after arguing that the threat posed by Mr. Trump to the 2020 election was urgent and demanded speed action to remove him.
“I have three questions for my friends on the other side of the aisle, the Democrats,” Mr. McCarthy said. “What happened to impeachment being urgent? What happened to Congress being on the clock? What happened to the House being derelict in our duty if we did not act immediately?”
The trial itself is not expected to start until Thursday, when the managers will most likely exhibit the articles inside the Senate chamber.
Republican leaders have said the proceeding will not begin in earnest until Tuesday, after the long holiday weekend. That will give them time to clear other pending legislative items, including a North American trade agreement, and finish preparing for a process that could consume senators for weeks.
*********
Trump Signs China Trade Deal, Putting Economic Conflict on Pause
An initial pact, cooling tensions in an election year, follows months of escalating tariffs and a trade war that seemed as if it would never end.
By Ana Swanson and Alan Rappaport |
Published Jan. 15, 2020 Updated 5:55 p.m. ET | New York Times | Posted January 15, 2020 |
WASHINGTON — President Trump signed an initial trade deal with China on Wednesday, bringing the first chapter of a protracted and economically damaging fight with one of the world’s largest economies to a close.
The pact is intended to open Chinese markets to more American companies, increase farm and energy exports and provide greater protection for American technology and trade secrets. China has committed to buying an additional $200 billion worth of American goods and services by 2021 and is expected to ease some of the tariffs it has placed on American products.
But the agreement preserves the bulk of the tariffs that Mr. Trump has placed on $360 billion worth of Chinese goods, and it maintains the threat of additional punishment if Beijing does not live up to the terms of the deal.
“Today we take a momentous step, one that has never been taken before with China toward a future of fair and reciprocal trade with China,” Mr. Trump said at a ceremony at the White House. “Together we are righting the wrongs of the past.”
The deal caps more than two years of tense negotiations and escalating threats that at times seemed destined to plunge the United States and China into a permanent economic war. Mr. Trump, who campaigned for president in 2016 on a promise to get tough on China, pushed his negotiators to rewrite trade terms that he said had destroyed American industry and jobs, and he imposed record tariffs on Chinese goods in a gamble to get Beijing to accede to his demands.
“As a candidate for president, I vowed strong action,” Mr. Trump said. “Unlike those who came before me, I kept my promise.”
The agreement is a significant turning point in American trade policy and the types of free-trade agreements that the United States has typically supported. Rather than lowering tariffs to allow for the flow of goods and services to meet market demand, this deal leaves a record level of tariffs in place and forces China to buy $200 billion worth of specific products within two years.
To Mr. Trump and other supporters, the approach corrects for past trade deals that enabled corporate outsourcing and led to lost jobs and industries. To critics, it is the type of managed trade approach that the United States has long criticized, especially with regard to China and its control over its economy.
While other presidents have tried to change China’s economic approach, Mr. Trump has leaned into it. The agreement stipulates that “China shall ensure” that its purchases meet the $200 billion figure by 2021, all but guaranteeing an export boom as Mr. Trump heads into the 2020 election.
“Although the administration claims it wants to enhance market forces in China, the purchase commitments hailed by the president will only strengthen the role of the state in the economy,” said Daniel Price, a former George W. Bush administration official and the managing director of Rock Creek Global Advisors.
The president’s approach may pay off politically. He will head into a re-election campaign with a commitment from China to strengthen its intellectual-property protections, make large purchases of American products and pursue other economic changes that will benefit American business.
At a lavish White House ceremony crowded with cabinet members, lawmakers and executives from America’s biggest companies, Mr. Trump seized on the signing as a counterweight to impeachment proceedings that were taking place across town, where lawmakers were about to vote to approve House prosecutors for a Senate trial.
“They have a hoax going on over there — let’s take care of it,” he said.
But the agreement has plenty of critics in both parties, who say that Mr. Trump’s tactics have been economically damaging and that the deal leaves many important economic issues unresolved.
Those include cybersecurity and China’s tight controls over how companies handle data and cloud computing. China rejected demands that the text include promises to refrain from hacking American companies, insisting it was not a trade issue.
And the deal does little to resolve more pernicious structural issues surrounding China’s approach, particularly its pattern of subsidizing and supporting crucial industries that compete with American companies, like solar energy and steel. American businesses blame those economic practices for allowing cheap Chinese goods to flood the United States.
“A ceremony at the White House can’t hide the stark truth about the Phase 1’ China trade deal: The deal does absolutely nothing to curtail China’s subsidies to its manufacturers,” Scott Paul, president of the Alliance for American Manufacturing, which includes manufacturers and the United Steelworkers union, said in a tweet. “All those ‘forgotten men and women’ in U.S. factories have, once again, been forgotten.”
The administration has said it will address some of these changes in Phase 2 of the negotiations and is keeping tariffs in place in part to maintain leverage for the next round of talks. Mr. Trump said he would remove all tariffs if the two sides reach agreement on the next phase.
“I will agree to take those tariffs off if we’re able to do Phase 2,” he said.
But Mr. Trump has already kicked the deadline for another agreement past the November election, and there is deep skepticism that the two countries will reach another deal anytime soon.
As part of the deal, Mr. Trump agreed to reduce the rate on tariffs imposed in September and forgo additional import taxes in the future. But the United States will continue to maintain tariffs covering 65 percent of American imports from China, according to tracking by Chad Bown, a senior fellow at the Peterson Institute of International Economics. That leaves the United States with an overall tariff rate higher than that of any other advanced nation, as well as China, India and Turkey.
China will still tax 57 percent of imports from the United States in retaliation, according to Mr. Bown, though it’s possible some of those levies may be waived in the weeks to come.
The two sides did not immediately distribute copies of the agreement in Chinese, raising the question of whether translation issues had been fully resolved and whether the final text would be as demanding of the Beijing government in the Chinese version as in the English version.
“We also need to be sure that the wording of the agreement is the same in both the Chinese and English versions — history has shown that mismatches become easily exploited loopholes,” said Ker Gibbs, the president of the American Chamber of Commerce in Shanghai.
While updates about the trade war transfixed investors for much of the last two years, the official signing of the deal was greeted with something of a shrug. The S&P 500 rose roughly 0.2 percent. A gauge of semiconductor companies, which have been particularly sensitive to the trade war, fell more than 1 percent.
The deal came under fire from top Democrats, including Senator Chuck Schumer of New York, who criticized the agreement for failing to address China’s state-owned enterprises and industrial subsidies. He suggested that President Xi Jinping of China was privately laughing at the United States and that China has “taken President Trump to the cleaners.”
“This Phase 1 deal is an extreme disappointment to me and to millions and millions of Americans who want to see us make China play fair,” Mr. Schumer said on the Senate floor.
Wendy Cutler, a vice president at the Asia Society Policy Institute who negotiated trade pacts for the Obama administration, called the gains “meaningful, but modest.”
“Because the United States was willing to compromise with China and not press them on the most difficult issues, they were able to reach positive ground,” she said.
The trade deal contains a variety of victories for American industry, including opening up markets for biotechnology, beef and poultry. Banks, insurers, drug companies and the energy industry are also big beneficiaries.
China has also agreed not to force American companies to hand over their technology as a condition of doing business there, under penalty of further tariffs. And it will refrain from directing its companies to obtain sensitive foreign technology through acquisitions. The agreement also includes a pledge by both countries not to devalue their currencies to gain an advantage in export markets.
The president trumpeted many of China’s concessions during the signing ceremony, singling out audience members who will benefit. He called out a litany of Wall Street executives, many of whom have been pressing for greater access to China’s financial services market, including Stephen A. Schwarzman, the chief executive of the private equity firm the Blackstone Group and Kenneth C. Griffin, the billionaire founder of the hedge fund Citadel. He also mentioned the chiefs of Boeing, Citibank, Visa and the American International Group, and the chip makers Micron and Qualcomm.
Referring to the energy purchases in the agreement, Mr. Trump told Senator Joni Ernst, the Iowa Republican, who was in attendance: “You got ethanol, so you can’t be complaining.”
But those victories have come at a heavy price. The uncertainty created by Mr. Trump’s tariff threats and approach to trade has weighed on the economy, raising prices for businesses and consumers, delaying corporate investments and slowing growth around the globe. Businesses with exposure to China, like Deere & Company and Caterpillar, have laid off some workers and lowered revenue expectations, in part citing the trade war.
And other sources of tension remain in the United States-China relationship. The Trump administration has taken a tougher approach to scrutinizing Chinese investments and technology purchases for national security threats, including blacklisting Chinese companies like Huawei, the telecom firm.
“I think it’s maybe a useful pause in the downward spiral of U.S.-China relations,” Susan Shirk, a professor at the University of California, San Diego, said of the trade deal.
*********
U.S.-China Trade Deal: What’s in (and Not in) the Agreement
The agreement includes some wins for President Trump but implementing and enforcing the deal could be difficult.
By Peter Eavis and Alan Rappaport |
Published Jan. 15, 2020 Updated 5:55 p.m. ET | New York Times | Posted January 15, 2020 |
President Trump’s long-awaited trade deal with China includes some significant changes to the economic relationship between the world’s largest economies.
The agreement signed Wednesday includes some victories for Mr. Trump: China has committed to buy an additional $200 billion of American goods and services by 2021 and crack down on business practices that the Trump administration has criticized. But text of the accord does not provide enough information to determine how it will work in practice.
[ FULL TEXT OF THE DEAL
Read the nearly 100-page document released by the Trump administration.]
China’s $200 billion shopping list includes agricultural products and energy exports
PAGE 6-1
The Parties recognize that the United States produces and can supply high-quality, competitively priced goods and services, while China needs to increase the importation of quality and affordable goods and services to satisfy the increasing demand from Chinese consumers.
Mr. Trump said his deal is a boon for farmers, who have been among the hardest hit by his trade war. The deal includes significant commitments from China to buy agricultural products, as well as airplanes, pharmaceuticals and oil and gas.
China’s commitment to purchase additional American exports is based on 2017 levels, and includes $52.4 billion of energy exports, $32 billion of agricultural commodities, $77.7 billion of manufactured goods and $37.9 billion of services.
Although American businesses and farmers will be pleased by those commitments, China is only agreeing to make purchases for the next two years and is vague about what happens thereafter. The agreement says the countries “project that the trajectory” of increased purchases would continue through 2025, but it remains to be seen how it will actually play out. The shopping list also leaves several open questions: What happens to China’s existing contracts with other countries for products like soybeans? Can it get out of such commitments if there isn’t domestic demand? Will the purchases distort commodities markets?
The deal aims to stamp out theft of intellectual property
PAGE 1-1:
The Parties shall ensure fair, adequate, and effective protection and enforcement of intellectual property rights. Each Party shall ensure fair and equitable market access to persons of the other Party that rely upon intellectual property protection.
The theft of intellectual property was one of the Trump administration’s main reasons for starting a confrontation with China. Previous administrations have tried to get China to crack down on this practice with limited success.
Mr. Trump’s agreement seeks to make it easier to identify and punish such theft. For instance, the deal requires China to “enumerate additional acts constituting trade secret misappropriation,” including “electronic intrusions,” a reference to hacking of computer systems.
The agreement also aims to make it easier for companies to seek redress in China if they believe their trade secrets have been stolen. The pharmaceutical industry appears to have secured significant gains, including commitments by the Chinese government to do more to protect patent owners from copycats.
Getting China to comply with the deal could be hard
PAGE 7-1
To ensure prompt and effective implementation of this Agreement, the Parties establish the following Bilateral Evaluation and Dispute Resolution Arrangement (the “Arrangement”).
Among the biggest questions going in to the negotiations with China was how any agreement would be enforced. Having watched previous agreements with China fail to live up to their promise, many American experts and business executives were skeptical that the Trump administration could get China to keep the commitments it makes.
The new deal creates something called the Bilateral Evaluation and Dispute Resolution Offices to receive and evaluate complaints. The deal also includes an appeals process where issues can be elevated from midlevel officials all the way up to the offices of the United States trade representative and the vice premier of China.
If the United States or China believes that the other is acting in bad faith, either country can give written notice and withdraw from the deal. Of course, Mr. Trump has already made clear that under such a scenario he would impose more tariffs on Chinese imports, thus returning the two countries to a trade war footing.
Wall Street’s gains appear incremental and it is unclear if the deal will be a boon for all financial firms
PAGE 4-1
The Parties shall work constructively to provide fair, effective, and nondiscriminatory market access for each other’s services and services suppliers. To that end, the Parties shall take specific actions beginning with the actions set forth in this Chapter with respect to the financial services sector.
It’s not clear that the agreement gives the United States big new gains in financial services. In an attempt to defuse tension with the Trump administration, China had already moved in 2017 to give foreign firms more sway in its financial sector, and American banks and other firms have been taking majority stakes in Chinese ventures.
For years, credit card companies Visa, Mastercard and American Express sought entry into China. In the deal, China agreed to accept license applications by these companies, but it did not automatically grant them access to its market. Even if China did approve their applications, it is not clear that those businesses would make many inroads in the country’s advanced electronic payment system, which is dominated by domestic companies.
China made pledges to be more transparent in currency markets, but many of its promises are in line with earlier commitments
PAGE 5-1
The Parties shall refrain from competitive devaluations and not target exchange rates for competitive purposes, including through large-scale, persistent, one-sided intervention in exchange markets.
Mr. Trump has long been a critic of China’s currency policy, arguing that it weakens the renminbi to achieve a competitive advantage for its exports. Last year the Trump administration labeled China a currency manipulator, before removing the tag this week as a result of China’s new currency commitments.
The country has pledged not to competitively devalue its currency and has promised to be more transparent about its interventions in foreign exchange markets.
To accomplish this, China has agreed to make public disclosures about its foreign exchange reserves and its quarterly imports of goods and services, among other things. However, much of what China is agreeing to do is in line with commitments it has already made through the Group of 20 and its obligations to the International Monetary Fund.
Brad Setser, an economist at the Council on Foreign Relations, was unimpressed by the new currency provisions, pointing out that China is primarily promising things that it already does and that it will continue to be circumspect about its actual interventions. “Certainly it doesn’t provide the market with any new information about China’s actual currency practices,” Mr. Setser said.
Both the American and Chinese economies have been hurt by the trade war, and this deal could provide some needed relief
PREAMBLE
REALIZING that it is in the interests of both countries that trade grow and that there is adherence to international norms so as to promote market-based outcomes;
The trade war between China and the United States has weighed on the economies of both countries. The tensions appear to have sent a chill through the United States manufacturing sector. China’s exports to the United States have plunged.
The partial truce struck Wednesday could restore some confidence, and the Chinese purchases will help some sectors of the American economy, but the pact preserves the bulk of the tariffs on $360 billion of goods from China. Administration officials have said that they will not lift those tariffs until the countries manage to agree to a phase 2 agreement. Prolonged strains in the relationship could prompt American firms to spend less in China and vice versa.
______
Keith Bradsher and Ana Swanson contributed reporting.
*********
How China Obtains American Trade Secrets
Companies have long accused Chinese rivals of swiping or seizing valuable technology. Beijing promises to ban those practices, but enforcement could be tough.
By Keith Brasher | Published Jan. 15, 2020 Updated 1:29 p.m. ET | New York Times | Posted January 15, 2020 |
BEIJING — The new trade deal between Washington and Beijing is intended in part to address one of the most acrimonious issues between them: China’s tactics in acquiring technology from companies based in the West.
It’s a thorny topic, and one that is unlikely to be fully solved with a trade pact.
The Trump administration blames China for stealing Western trade secrets, and it used those allegations as the legal basis for launching the trade war nearly two years ago. Trade talks between the two sides quickly became about broader issues, but the initial trade pact signed on Wednesday includes pledges by China to stop some of the practices that Western businesses have long criticized. Depending on the details, that could make the deal more palatable for American businesses.
Underpinning these concerns is that China has repeatedly shown that it can acquire technology and, through heavy government subsidies, build competitive rivals to American companies. Businesses worry that it could do the same in other industries, like software and chips.
China has long denied that it forces foreign companies to give up technology. They do it willingly, Beijing asserts, to get access to China’s vast and growing market. Still, Chinese officials say they are taking steps to address the concerns.
How does China get technology?
The American authorities have long accused Chinese companies and individuals of hacking and other outright theft of American corporate secrets. And some in the Trump administration worry that Chinese companies are simply buying it through corporate deals.
American companies say Chinese companies also use more subtle tactics to get access to valuable technology.
Sometimes China requires foreign companies to form joint ventures with local firms in order to do business there, as in the case of the auto industry. It also sometimes requires that a certain percentage of a product’s value be manufactured locally, as it once did with wind turbines and solar panels.
The technology companies Apple and Amazon set up ventures with local partners to handle data in China to comply with internal security laws.
Companies are loath to accuse Chinese partners of theft for fear of getting punished. Business groups that represent them say Chinese companies use those corporate ties to pressure foreign partners into giving up secrets. They also say Chinese officials have pressured foreign companies to give them access to sensitive technology as part of a review process to make sure those products are safe for Chinese consumers.
Do the methods work?
Foreign business groups point to renewable energy as one area where China used some of these tactics to build homegrown industries.
Gamesa of Spain was the wind turbine market leader in China when Beijing mandated in 2005 that 70 percent of each wind turbine installed in China had to be manufactured inside the country. The company trained more than 500 suppliers in China to manufacture practically every part in its turbines. It set up a plant to assemble them in the city of Tianjin. Other multinational wind turbine manufacturers did the same.
The Obama administration questioned the policy as a violation of World Trade Organization rules and China withdrew it, but by then it was too late. Chinese state-controlled enterprises had begun to assemble turbines using the same suppliers. China is now the world’s biggest market for wind turbines, and they are mostly made by Chinese companies.
A somewhat similar industrial evolution occurred soon after in solar energy. China required that its first big municipal solar project only use solar panels that were at least 80 percent made in China. Companies rushed to produce in China and share technology.
The Chinese government also heavily subsidized the manufacture of solar panels, mostly for export. Chinese companies ended up producing most of the world’s solar panels.
What industries could be next?
Some in the Trump administration fear the same thing is happening in cars.
Shortly after opening China to foreign auto companies, Chinese officials held a competition among global automakers for who would be allowed to enter the market. The competition included a detailed review of each company’s offer to transfer technology to a joint venture to be formed with a Chinese state-owned partner.
General Motors beat out Ford Motor and Toyota by agreeing to build a state-of-the-art assembly plant in Shanghai with four dozen robots to make the latest Buicks. Executives at Volkswagen, the German automaker that had entered China even earlier, were furious, because competitive pressures forced them to upgrade their technology as well.
China is now the world’s largest car market. But except for a few luxury models, practically all of the cars sold in China are made there. Steep Chinese tariffs on imported cars and car parts have also played a role, as has the desire of foreign companies to avoid the costs and risks of transporting cars from distant production sites.
How will Wednesday’s deal fix the problem?
In the trade truce , Chinese officials agreed not to force companies to transfer technology as a condition of doing business, and they undertook to punish firms that infringe on or steal trade secrets. China also agreed not to use Chinese companies to obtain sensitive technology through acquisitions.
Even before that, Chinese officials pledged to drop the joint venture requirement in areas like cars.
The question is whether China will stick to its pledges. Chinese officials already issued rules last month putting in place much of what they promised in Wednesday’s agreement. Foreign lawyers say the new rules have large loopholes. The rules give Chinese regulators broad discretion to act as they see fit in cases that involve “special circumstances,” “national state interests” and other fuzzy exceptions.
The trade pact calls for consultations within 90 days if the United States thinks Beijing is not living up to its commitments, but it is unclear whether the Trump administration could then force compliance. More broadly, the pact does not address China’s subsidies for new industries, a key factor in what happened in sectors like solar panels. China has largely rebuffed calls to rein in subsidies for homegrown competitors in industries like semiconductors, commercial aircraft, electric cars and other technologies of tomorrow.
The Trump administration is counting on tariffs to counterbalance that. The partial trade pact will leave in place broad tariffs on many of those industries to prevent Chinese competitors from flooding the American market. Leaving broad tariffs in place also gives Western companies a strong financial incentive to reconsider supply chains that are heavily reliant on China.
*********
#trump administration#president donald trump#trumpism#donald trump#trump news#trump trade war#u.s. news#china news#china#trump china#politics and government#us politics#politics#republican politics#republicans#republican party#world news#worldpolitics#international news
0 notes
Text
Snagged this from @paper-shield-and-wooden-sword
Get to Know the Writer Tag
I’ve had this saved in my drafts for idk how long! Need to avoid doing that writing thing lol
1. What’s your favorite kind of setting to write?
Most of my stuff takes place in present day because my brain doesn’t like to create technology that makes sense? I sort of hope for the best when that happens and hope that editing will fix it later lol. I have some stuff that take place in the past but haven’t really played around with that as much. Also I seem to really flock towards a sort of ‘cop’ style or at least an organization that handles cop like work.
2. What’s your ideal writing environment?
Where I like to write? My ass on my comfy bed in a reclined position. Three pillows to prop myself up, maybe a cat clawing at me to move my arm so he can cuddle with me. Some dope music playing (not always soothing and relaxing instrumental but sometimes), candles burning maybe with some incense (tho that’s normal too). I do write a bit at work too when I’m bored out of my mind but that’s more rushed and feel the need to hide. Never really tried writing anywhere else.
I guess ideal is just at home with some nice music and a comfy place to sit.
3. Are there any books or authors who have helped shape how you write?
Rereading Skulduggery Pleasant really seemed to have an influence on me and my writing dialog. Especially the snarky dialog like Skully and Val have. I like that sort of dynamic duo too. I also really like reading movie novelizations too. Helps me write action scenes in better words than ‘she threw a punch’.
4. Do you listen to music while you write?
Aye yes! I always have music playing 24/7. Shit is life. I have a relaxation playlist I put on sometimes if I really need to focus. I do have a piano playlist I throw on too sometimes. Then on my Spotify I have a whole folder filled with my ‘novel wip soundtracks’ and such alike that help me write my characters. I have one with piano music that my OC Cameron is most likely to play and another one that Brad and Rose would play on their youtube channel and do covers of. I have more I want to make too but in due time.
5. How did you come up with your main characters? Did you plan them out, or did they just kind of show up?
I’ll reference ‘main’ characters as core characters because I’d consider Taren and Jason the two mains in my new wip and Brad and Rose the mains in my Time Traveler wip.
Start with Cam. Cameron didn’t always go by Cameron. When I was working on my Psychic wip, it was a fanfiction at first and Cameron’s name was actually Dennis Rafkin (from Thir13en Ghosts because I’m traaaaaash). He was already a sort of established character that I was projecting headcanons on and sort of doing what he would do in the situations I was putting him in. After a year or so I changed his last name to Radden to take away from the fanfiction aspect of it, seeing how it didn’t really seem ‘fanfiction’ anymore. Few months later, I changed his first name to Cameron and he’s been my Cam Cam ever since. He was more or less planned out over the course of a year and a half.
Now with Brad and Rose, Brad was sort of planned out. He was more or less based on Brad Sherwood from Whose Line and I didn’t really change that much about it, but sort of did that projecting headcanons on sort of thing till he was his own entity. That really showed up when I tired to change his name and that didn’t stick (like how Dennis -> Cameron did). Rose just sort of showed up. I needed a name for a character and it took a day to really settle in on a name and when I found Rosalie, it was set and done.
Both Jason and Taren definitely just showed up. My friend and I were saying that it would be a cool idea if Christian Slater did a movie with Taron Egerton. Thus, the names. Jason came from his character JD (which it’s sort of a fanfiction by this point with how much I’m using of his background and all) as a reformed adult. Taren is just Taron with an e instead of an o. I liked how the name sounded and it fight the character I was creating around him. He’s heavily based off of Eggsy from Kingsman but this one is also super new and a baby so I’m still futzing with it so only time can tell where this goes :)
6. Which of your characters would you most like to spend a day with? (Picking multiple characters is okay!)
Cameron! Hands down! My friend and I are super bummed that he’s not real and all the cool shit we would do with him! Go to the Ren Faire, go to holistic shows, crystal shopping, movie nights, make fun of shitty local bands, and all sorts of other things.
Runner up would be Rose and Brad because they are a package deal and we can all just go shopping for music and listening to music on the beach or something stupid like that. Just hang while listening to music.
7. When you’re not writing, what are you most likely to be doing?
Watching movies or youtube. Wasting my time on tumblr. Making things. I make notebooks and other products based around those notebooks. Sometimes hanging out with friends. And obviously work.
8. What are some songs that remind you of your WIP(s)?
Anything by Panic! has Cameron written all over him.
Anything Reel Big Fish has Brad and Rose written all over them.
I do have playlists dedicated to my novels as a whole, not so much just one song for each or even a handful. They’re all over the place music wise. My characters all have their own distinct music styles and tastes that are both similar and completely different.
Their choices go from dad bands to ska to emo to electro swing to classical to German yodeling EDM remixes to folk to top 40 hits of today.
9. What’s the longest time you’ve ever spent working on a story?
I started working on my Psychic wip in the summer of 2015. So that’s been a three year journey. My Time Travelers started back in May of this year and my Action Heroes were just this month.
The Psychic Twins have been around since March of 2017 according to their document creation date but they dont’ have a universe, so they’re just two OCs in their own world yet to be discovered.
10. Share a line of writing you’re particularly proud of!
O dang. This is from my Psychic’s novel and has already gone through two rewrites up to this point. I’m quite proud of this scene so here’s a few lines. Probably will be a bit confusing but whatever:
“Listen, Jasmin.” He adjusted again in the chair, causing it to creak loudly in protest against his weight shift. “When Welles died, Cameron had to grow up quickly. I couldn’t dwell in the past and had to move on immediately. Because of that, it really fucked me up mentally and emotionally. I’m man enough to admit that.”
0 notes
Text
5 Simple Steps to Developing Your Intuition by Learning to Listen to Your Gut
A client asked: “I’ve been a Christian for all my life, but recently realized that my beliefs are changing about the divinity of the universe, earth energies, reincarnation, Wicca, and other beliefs and philosophies. But I’m confused about what the real Truth is because there are so many opinions out there. I don’t want opinions. I want knowledge because I want to get the most out of what life I have left in this life time. How do you fit all of this together and know what the Truth actually is?”
Answer: In the words of Obi Wan Kenobi (Jedi master), “Truth is Relative.” What is true for one person at one period in their life may in fact change over time, as they explore and come to know a deeper Absolute Truth and as they evolve. And what is true for one person may not be true for another.
Spiritual seekers must sort through a lot of information, experience, and beliefs in order to discover what is True. I believe this process continues throughout our whole life, and that we are called to discover Truths similar to a lifelong treasure hunt. The joy is in the journey of discovery of these Truths, and we call that life.
You want to know the Truth? Be sure you’re willing to handle the Truth when it comes. Because when the student is ready, the teacher appears. And the answers are not always easy, nor do they conform to what we thought we knew, what we were expecting, nor do they conform to what we’ve been taught or what we had accepted before or told was true.
Animals have a wisdom all their own that often surpasses human intelligence. I call these amazing beings angels, teachers and Wise Ones disguised as animals. Often they know what is true and what is not so they can help guide you on your spiritual journey towards enlightenment, but only when you know how to access their wisdom, hear their thoughts and invite them to share their heart.
Key Truths can be found in every belief, philosophy, or teaching, and even from other species.
They come to us through experience, through seemingly chance encounters, through religious documents, through epiphany’s and breakthroughs of understanding. They are to be found in movies, in stories, in myths and in books (fiction and non-fiction).
Teachers, gurus, ascended masters and our animals are here to help us connect with and understand Truth. Our interactions with each other teach us about ourselves and who we truly are, and ultimately guide us to the Truth.
Truths are literally all around you all the time, but they must be tested to discover whether in fact they are only true to a point or in certain situations, or if they are Absolutely True all the way through to the heart of the matter.
No one has all the Truths. But you do have a way to access and find them for yourself by seeking them diligently and with an open heart and mind, trusting your own intuitive ‘knowing’ and practice testing what you get. When you learn to trust your own intuition, you will have an internal GPS system that can guide you through what is true, what is True-er, what is Absolute Truth, and what is simply untrue.
Fundamentally, the answers you seek are already inside you. They dwell within what is called the God Mind, sometimes called the superconscious mind. To access them, you need only develop your Intuitive Intelligence Quotient (IIQ).
Learning to decipher and discern the information you are given every day from the world around you requires a bit of training. The more training you get the more confidence you will have in your ability to make sound decisions from your intuition, by listening to your gut.
What is intuition? And what does listening to our ‘gut’ have to do with truth?
Dictionary.com’s definition of intuition is “A direct perception of the truth, fact, etc., independent of any reasoning process; immediate apprehension or comprehension.”
I believe that the innate gift of our intuition acts like a super computer that is always gathering information much faster than our conscious mind can on its own. Think of it like this: Information is energy, and energy can transfer at the speed of light.
Your superconscious and unconscious minds analyze and process more than 90% of all information energetically and almost instantaneously. Contrast this to the fact that your conscious mind receives only 10% (at best) of the incoming sensory stimuli, and the processing speed of the conscious mind is extremely slow.
An apt analogy here would be to compare a super computer with the highest speed internet possible (your fully functioning innate Intuition) with a 1990’s edition personal computer with dial up (your conscious mind).
It is fascinating to realize that your conscious mind actually recognizes, reevaluates and reinterprets “life” after it has already happened based on prior conceptions, attitudes, expectations and beliefs. And if the ego mind is given data that doesn’t conform or fit with what it thinks it already knows, then it will either discard it or rewrite it to fit prior expectations and conceptions. Tricky, eh?
That’s why it’s not such a good idea to base decisions on the conscious mind alone without consulting your innate intuitive intelligence as well.
Since your subconscious mind takes in millions of bits of information in mere nanoseconds, it processes this information and gives your conscious mind the filtered data. If you don’t listen to your intuitive knowing, then you can’t make decisions from a quantum leap perspective. It happens so quickly that you have a sense of simply “knowing” the right from the wrong, the positive from the negative, the True from the untrue.
For example, have you ever gone somewhere and immediately felt it wasn’t safe? Your subconscious mind processed something that you didn’t see, hear, smell, touch or taste with your conscious mind, but recognized it as potentially dangerous and sent the signal in a way that your conscious mind could interpret correctly, if you’re paying attention.
Someone recently shared with me how they “feel” a knowingness in their body. When something is wrong she gets a strong tingly feeling in her chest. When she needs to make a decision about something she will quiet her mind and ask a question. If the answer is yes she gets a strong feeling of calmness all over. She has learned the art of discernment.
5 Simple Steps To Developing Your Intuition
Center yourself and get quiet. Follow your breath, in and out, and relax more with every breath cycle. To do this well, it is helpful to stand tall and balanced, but if you prefer to sit, that’s ok. It just may be a little harder at first until you get the hang of it. Close your eyes and feel the ground beneath your feet, the energies of the earth, and be fully present, right here, right now, nothing added. Let everything else go.
Connect with your heart (superconscious mind). Imagine that your heart has a direct connection with the Truth, and trust that this is so.
Connect with your gut (unconscious mind). Did you know that your gut possesses neural cells and is in fact your first brain? Neural cells originated in the gut first when your body was being formed in the womb, then a portion of these cells split off and began to form your spinal cord, then they formed your heart which is also lined with neural cells, then eventually became your head brain.
Connect with the idea, concept, or object that you are curious about and ask your question. Then, invite your body to either Lean In (meaning: yes I want more of that or I’m drawn to that, it’s okay to go there, it feels true) or Pulling Back (meaning: no that’s not good for me or I don’t want that, don’t go there, something is wrong or untrue).
Then, simply wait for your intuition (your gut) to signal you with its answer. Be patient. Receiving your answer can take as long as a second or a minute or two, depending on your ability to be fully present and clear in your request, and how much practice you have.
Leaning in means there’s something there to learn or to know that will lead you to a truth.
Pulling Back means there’s something there that is repellant to your bodymind and intuitive knowing, an untruth, a lie or it’s simply not right for you at this time.
Standing in balance without leaning in or pushing away means your bodymind is neutral on the subject, it’s neither good or bad, positive or negative, true or untrue. It can also mean you have asked a question that is unclear or the answer isn’t a simple yes, no or neutral.
Everyone has their own unique and innate way of accessing, analyzing and interpreting information. Learning how to develop your intuition will significantly help you in learning to communicate with and understand animals and the world around you too.
This is why it’s so important to make a decision based on your intuition and not merely on your so called rational logical ego mind. Your gut knows more than your mind does about what you really need, what is good for you, and what isn’t.
It is definitely worth the investment of time and resources to learn to develop your intuition. It will help you make the best decisions for yourself, to access higher knowledge and extrasensory information, and can even help save your life.
Ready to learn how to talk to animals yourself? Check out all of my courses at Learnhowtotalktoanimals.com, Start Here! Take a look and choose what most appeals to you. If you are a newbie, then I highly recommend starting with the Beginning Core Foundations Course. The Advanced Animal Talk Mastery Course is awesome and includes many of my favorite, most powerful healing techniques along with many specific topics that every animal talk student needs to know how to deal with successfully.
The post 5 Simple Steps to Developing Your Intuition by Learning to Listen to Your Gut appeared first on Val Heart.
from Val Heart https://www.valheart.com/intuition/
from Val Heart And Friends LLC https://valheartandfriendsllc.tumblr.com/post/155312084713
0 notes
Text
5 Simple Steps to Developing Your Intuition by Learning to Listen to Your Gut
A client asked: “I’ve been a Christian for all my life, but recently realized that my beliefs are changing about the divinity of the universe, earth energies, reincarnation, Wicca, and other beliefs and philosophies. But I’m confused about what the real Truth is because there are so many opinions out there. I don’t want opinions. I want knowledge because I want to get the most out of what life I have left in this life time. How do you fit all of this together and know what the Truth actually is?”
Answer: In the words of Obi Wan Kenobi (Jedi master), “Truth is Relative.” What is true for one person at one period in their life may in fact change over time, as they explore and come to know a deeper Absolute Truth and as they evolve. And what is true for one person may not be true for another.
Spiritual seekers must sort through a lot of information, experience, and beliefs in order to discover what is True. I believe this process continues throughout our whole life, and that we are called to discover Truths similar to a lifelong treasure hunt. The joy is in the journey of discovery of these Truths, and we call that life.
You want to know the Truth? Be sure you’re willing to handle the Truth when it comes. Because when the student is ready, the teacher appears. And the answers are not always easy, nor do they conform to what we thought we knew, what we were expecting, nor do they conform to what we’ve been taught or what we had accepted before or told was true.
Animals have a wisdom all their own that often surpasses human intelligence. I call these amazing beings angels, teachers and Wise Ones disguised as animals. Often they know what is true and what is not so they can help guide you on your spiritual journey towards enlightenment, but only when you know how to access their wisdom, hear their thoughts and invite them to share their heart.
Key Truths can be found in every belief, philosophy, or teaching, and even from other species.
They come to us through experience, through seemingly chance encounters, through religious documents, through epiphany’s and breakthroughs of understanding. They are to be found in movies, in stories, in myths and in books (fiction and non-fiction).
Teachers, gurus, ascended masters and our animals are here to help us connect with and understand Truth. Our interactions with each other teach us about ourselves and who we truly are, and ultimately guide us to the Truth.
Truths are literally all around you all the time, but they must be tested to discover whether in fact they are only true to a point or in certain situations, or if they are Absolutely True all the way through to the heart of the matter.
No one has all the Truths. But you do have a way to access and find them for yourself by seeking them diligently and with an open heart and mind, trusting your own intuitive ‘knowing’ and practice testing what you get. When you learn to trust your own intuition, you will have an internal GPS system that can guide you through what is true, what is True-er, what is Absolute Truth, and what is simply untrue.
Fundamentally, the answers you seek are already inside you. They dwell within what is called the God Mind, sometimes called the superconscious mind. To access them, you need only develop your Intuitive Intelligence Quotient (IIQ).
Learning to decipher and discern the information you are given every day from the world around you requires a bit of training. The more training you get the more confidence you will have in your ability to make sound decisions from your intuition, by listening to your gut.
What is intuition? And what does listening to our ‘gut’ have to do with truth?
Dictionary.com’s definition of intuition is “A direct perception of the truth, fact, etc., independent of any reasoning process; immediate apprehension or comprehension.”
I believe that the innate gift of our intuition acts like a super computer that is always gathering information much faster than our conscious mind can on its own. Think of it like this: Information is energy, and energy can transfer at the speed of light.
Your superconscious and unconscious minds analyze and process more than 90% of all information energetically and almost instantaneously. Contrast this to the fact that your conscious mind receives only 10% (at best) of the incoming sensory stimuli, and the processing speed of the conscious mind is extremely slow.
An apt analogy here would be to compare a super computer with the highest speed internet possible (your fully functioning innate Intuition) with a 1990’s edition personal computer with dial up (your conscious mind).
It is fascinating to realize that your conscious mind actually recognizes, reevaluates and reinterprets “life” after it has already happened based on prior conceptions, attitudes, expectations and beliefs. And if the ego mind is given data that doesn’t conform or fit with what it thinks it already knows, then it will either discard it or rewrite it to fit prior expectations and conceptions. Tricky, eh?
That’s why it’s not such a good idea to base decisions on the conscious mind alone without consulting your innate intuitive intelligence as well.
Since your subconscious mind takes in millions of bits of information in mere nanoseconds, it processes this information and gives your conscious mind the filtered data. If you don’t listen to your intuitive knowing, then you can’t make decisions from a quantum leap perspective. It happens so quickly that you have a sense of simply “knowing” the right from the wrong, the positive from the negative, the True from the untrue.
For example, have you ever gone somewhere and immediately felt it wasn’t safe? Your subconscious mind processed something that you didn’t see, hear, smell, touch or taste with your conscious mind, but recognized it as potentially dangerous and sent the signal in a way that your conscious mind could interpret correctly, if you’re paying attention.
Someone recently shared with me how they “feel” a knowingness in their body. When something is wrong she gets a strong tingly feeling in her chest. When she needs to make a decision about something she will quiet her mind and ask a question. If the answer is yes she gets a strong feeling of calmness all over. She has learned the art of discernment.
5 Simple Steps To Developing Your Intuition
Center yourself and get quiet. Follow your breath, in and out, and relax more with every breath cycle. To do this well, it is helpful to stand tall and balanced, but if you prefer to sit, that’s ok. It just may be a little harder at first until you get the hang of it. Close your eyes and feel the ground beneath your feet, the energies of the earth, and be fully present, right here, right now, nothing added. Let everything else go.
Connect with your heart (superconscious mind). Imagine that your heart has a direct connection with the Truth, and trust that this is so.
Connect with your gut (unconscious mind). Did you know that your gut possesses neural cells and is in fact your first brain? Neural cells originated in the gut first when your body was being formed in the womb, then a portion of these cells split off and began to form your spinal cord, then they formed your heart which is also lined with neural cells, then eventually became your head brain.
Connect with the idea, concept, or object that you are curious about and ask your question. Then, invite your body to either Lean In (meaning: yes I want more of that or I’m drawn to that, it’s okay to go there, it feels true) or Pulling Back (meaning: no that’s not good for me or I don’t want that, don’t go there, something is wrong or untrue).
Then, simply wait for your intuition (your gut) to signal you with its answer. Be patient. Receiving your answer can take as long as a second or a minute or two, depending on your ability to be fully present and clear in your request, and how much practice you have.
Leaning in means there’s something there to learn or to know that will lead you to a truth.
Pulling Back means there’s something there that is repellant to your bodymind and intuitive knowing, an untruth, a lie or it’s simply not right for you at this time.
Standing in balance without leaning in or pushing away means your bodymind is neutral on the subject, it’s neither good or bad, positive or negative, true or untrue. It can also mean you have asked a question that is unclear or the answer isn’t a simple yes, no or neutral.
Everyone has their own unique and innate way of accessing, analyzing and interpreting information. Learning how to develop your intuition will significantly help you in learning to communicate with and understand animals and the world around you too.
This is why it’s so important to make a decision based on your intuition and not merely on your so called rational logical ego mind. Your gut knows more than your mind does about what you really need, what is good for you, and what isn’t.
It is definitely worth the investment of time and resources to learn to develop your intuition. It will help you make the best decisions for yourself, to access higher knowledge and extrasensory information, and can even help save your life.
Ready to learn how to talk to animals yourself? Check out all of my courses at Learnhowtotalktoanimals.com, Start Here! Take a look and choose what most appeals to you. If you are a newbie, then I highly recommend starting with the Beginning Core Foundations Course. The Advanced Animal Talk Mastery Course is awesome and includes many of my favorite, most powerful healing techniques along with many specific topics that every animal talk student needs to know how to deal with successfully.
The post 5 Simple Steps to Developing Your Intuition by Learning to Listen to Your Gut appeared first on Val Heart.
Source: https://www.valheart.com/intuition/
from Val Heart And Friends LLC https://valheartandfriendsllc.wordpress.com/2017/01/02/5-simple-steps-to-developing-your-intuition-by-learning-to-listen-to-your-gut/
0 notes
Text
5 Simple Steps to Developing Your Intuition by Learning to Listen to Your Gut
A client asked: “I’ve been a Christian for all my life, but recently realized that my beliefs are changing about the divinity of the universe, earth energies, reincarnation, Wicca, and other beliefs and philosophies. But I’m confused about what the real Truth is because there are so many opinions out there. I don’t want opinions. I want knowledge because I want to get the most out of what life I have left in this life time. How do you fit all of this together and know what the Truth actually is?”
Answer: In the words of Obi Wan Kenobi (Jedi master), “Truth is Relative.” What is true for one person at one period in their life may in fact change over time, as they explore and come to know a deeper Absolute Truth and as they evolve. And what is true for one person may not be true for another.
Spiritual seekers must sort through a lot of information, experience, and beliefs in order to discover what is True. I believe this process continues throughout our whole life, and that we are called to discover Truths similar to a lifelong treasure hunt. The joy is in the journey of discovery of these Truths, and we call that life.
You want to know the Truth? Be sure you’re willing to handle the Truth when it comes. Because when the student is ready, the teacher appears. And the answers are not always easy, nor do they conform to what we thought we knew, what we were expecting, nor do they conform to what we’ve been taught or what we had accepted before or told was true.
Animals have a wisdom all their own that often surpasses human intelligence. I call these amazing beings angels, teachers and Wise Ones disguised as animals. Often they know what is true and what is not so they can help guide you on your spiritual journey towards enlightenment, but only when you know how to access their wisdom, hear their thoughts and invite them to share their heart.
Key Truths can be found in every belief, philosophy, or teaching, and even from other species.
They come to us through experience, through seemingly chance encounters, through religious documents, through epiphany’s and breakthroughs of understanding. They are to be found in movies, in stories, in myths and in books (fiction and non-fiction).
Teachers, gurus, ascended masters and our animals are here to help us connect with and understand Truth. Our interactions with each other teach us about ourselves and who we truly are, and ultimately guide us to the Truth.
Truths are literally all around you all the time, but they must be tested to discover whether in fact they are only true to a point or in certain situations, or if they are Absolutely True all the way through to the heart of the matter.
No one has all the Truths. But you do have a way to access and find them for yourself by seeking them diligently and with an open heart and mind, trusting your own intuitive ‘knowing’ and practice testing what you get. When you learn to trust your own intuition, you will have an internal GPS system that can guide you through what is true, what is True-er, what is Absolute Truth, and what is simply untrue.
Fundamentally, the answers you seek are already inside you. They dwell within what is called the God Mind, sometimes called the superconscious mind. To access them, you need only develop your Intuitive Intelligence Quotient (IIQ).
Learning to decipher and discern the information you are given every day from the world around you requires a bit of training. The more training you get the more confidence you will have in your ability to make sound decisions from your intuition, by listening to your gut.
What is intuition? And what does listening to our ‘gut’ have to do with truth?
Dictionary.com’s definition of intuition is “A direct perception of the truth, fact, etc., independent of any reasoning process; immediate apprehension or comprehension.”
I believe that the innate gift of our intuition acts like a super computer that is always gathering information much faster than our conscious mind can on its own. Think of it like this: Information is energy, and energy can transfer at the speed of light.
Your superconscious and unconscious minds analyze and process more than 90% of all information energetically and almost instantaneously. Contrast this to the fact that your conscious mind receives only 10% (at best) of the incoming sensory stimuli, and the processing speed of the conscious mind is extremely slow.
An apt analogy here would be to compare a super computer with the highest speed internet possible (your fully functioning innate Intuition) with a 1990’s edition personal computer with dial up (your conscious mind).
It is fascinating to realize that your conscious mind actually recognizes, reevaluates and reinterprets “life” after it has already happened based on prior conceptions, attitudes, expectations and beliefs. And if the ego mind is given data that doesn’t conform or fit with what it thinks it already knows, then it will either discard it or rewrite it to fit prior expectations and conceptions. Tricky, eh?
That’s why it’s not such a good idea to base decisions on the conscious mind alone without consulting your innate intuitive intelligence as well.
Since your subconscious mind takes in millions of bits of information in mere nanoseconds, it processes this information and gives your conscious mind the filtered data. If you don’t listen to your intuitive knowing, then you can’t make decisions from a quantum leap perspective. It happens so quickly that you have a sense of simply “knowing” the right from the wrong, the positive from the negative, the True from the untrue.
For example, have you ever gone somewhere and immediately felt it wasn’t safe? Your subconscious mind processed something that you didn’t see, hear, smell, touch or taste with your conscious mind, but recognized it as potentially dangerous and sent the signal in a way that your conscious mind could interpret correctly, if you’re paying attention.
Someone recently shared with me how they “feel” a knowingness in their body. When something is wrong she gets a strong tingly feeling in her chest. When she needs to make a decision about something she will quiet her mind and ask a question. If the answer is yes she gets a strong feeling of calmness all over. She has learned the art of discernment.
5 Simple Steps To Developing Your Intuition
Center yourself and get quiet. Follow your breath, in and out, and relax more with every breath cycle. To do this well, it is helpful to stand tall and balanced, but if you prefer to sit, that’s ok. It just may be a little harder at first until you get the hang of it. Close your eyes and feel the ground beneath your feet, the energies of the earth, and be fully present, right here, right now, nothing added. Let everything else go.
Connect with your heart (superconscious mind). Imagine that your heart has a direct connection with the Truth, and trust that this is so.
Connect with your gut (unconscious mind). Did you know that your gut possesses neural cells and is in fact your first brain? Neural cells originated in the gut first when your body was being formed in the womb, then a portion of these cells split off and began to form your spinal cord, then they formed your heart which is also lined with neural cells, then eventually became your head brain.
Connect with the idea, concept, or object that you are curious about and ask your question. Then, invite your body to either Lean In (meaning: yes I want more of that or I’m drawn to that, it’s okay to go there, it feels true) or Pulling Back (meaning: no that’s not good for me or I don’t want that, don’t go there, something is wrong or untrue).
Then, simply wait for your intuition (your gut) to signal you with its answer. Be patient. Receiving your answer can take as long as a second or a minute or two, depending on your ability to be fully present and clear in your request, and how much practice you have.
Leaning in means there’s something there to learn or to know that will lead you to a truth.
Pulling Back means there’s something there that is repellant to your bodymind and intuitive knowing, an untruth, a lie or it’s simply not right for you at this time.
Standing in balance without leaning in or pushing away means your bodymind is neutral on the subject, it’s neither good or bad, positive or negative, true or untrue. It can also mean you have asked a question that is unclear or the answer isn’t a simple yes, no or neutral.
Everyone has their own unique and innate way of accessing, analyzing and interpreting information. Learning how to develop your intuition will significantly help you in learning to communicate with and understand animals and the world around you too.
This is why it’s so important to make a decision based on your intuition and not merely on your so called rational logical ego mind. Your gut knows more than your mind does about what you really need, what is good for you, and what isn’t.
It is definitely worth the investment of time and resources to learn to develop your intuition. It will help you make the best decisions for yourself, to access higher knowledge and extrasensory information, and can even help save your life.
Ready to learn how to talk to animals yourself? Check out all of my courses at Learnhowtotalktoanimals.com, Start Here! Take a look and choose what most appeals to you. If you are a newbie, then I highly recommend starting with the Beginning Core Foundations Course. The Advanced Animal Talk Mastery Course is awesome and includes many of my favorite, most powerful healing techniques along with many specific topics that every animal talk student needs to know how to deal with successfully.
The post 5 Simple Steps to Developing Your Intuition by Learning to Listen to Your Gut appeared first on Val Heart.
source https://www.valheart.com/intuition/
from Val Heart And Friends LLC http://valheartandfriendsllc.blogspot.com/2017/01/5-simple-steps-to-developing-your.html
0 notes
Text
5 Simple Steps to Developing Your Intuition by Learning to Listen to Your Gut
A client asked: “I’ve been a Christian for all my life, but recently realized that my beliefs are changing about the divinity of the universe, earth energies, reincarnation, Wicca, and other beliefs and philosophies. But I’m confused about what the real Truth is because there are so many opinions out there. I don’t want opinions. I want knowledge because I want to get the most out of what life I have left in this life time. How do you fit all of this together and know what the Truth actually is?”
Answer: In the words of Obi Wan Kenobi (Jedi master), “Truth is Relative.” What is true for one person at one period in their life may in fact change over time, as they explore and come to know a deeper Absolute Truth and as they evolve. And what is true for one person may not be true for another.
Spiritual seekers must sort through a lot of information, experience, and beliefs in order to discover what is True. I believe this process continues throughout our whole life, and that we are called to discover Truths similar to a lifelong treasure hunt. The joy is in the journey of discovery of these Truths, and we call that life.
You want to know the Truth? Be sure you’re willing to handle the Truth when it comes. Because when the student is ready, the teacher appears. And the answers are not always easy, nor do they conform to what we thought we knew, what we were expecting, nor do they conform to what we’ve been taught or what we had accepted before or told was true.
Animals have a wisdom all their own that often surpasses human intelligence. I call these amazing beings angels, teachers and Wise Ones disguised as animals. Often they know what is true and what is not so they can help guide you on your spiritual journey towards enlightenment, but only when you know how to access their wisdom, hear their thoughts and invite them to share their heart.
Key Truths can be found in every belief, philosophy, or teaching, and even from other species.
They come to us through experience, through seemingly chance encounters, through religious documents, through epiphany’s and breakthroughs of understanding. They are to be found in movies, in stories, in myths and in books (fiction and non-fiction).
Teachers, gurus, ascended masters and our animals are here to help us connect with and understand Truth. Our interactions with each other teach us about ourselves and who we truly are, and ultimately guide us to the Truth.
Truths are literally all around you all the time, but they must be tested to discover whether in fact they are only true to a point or in certain situations, or if they are Absolutely True all the way through to the heart of the matter.
No one has all the Truths. But you do have a way to access and find them for yourself by seeking them diligently and with an open heart and mind, trusting your own intuitive ‘knowing’ and practice testing what you get. When you learn to trust your own intuition, you will have an internal GPS system that can guide you through what is true, what is True-er, what is Absolute Truth, and what is simply untrue.
Fundamentally, the answers you seek are already inside you. They dwell within what is called the God Mind, sometimes called the superconscious mind. To access them, you need only develop your Intuitive Intelligence Quotient (IIQ).
Learning to decipher and discern the information you are given every day from the world around you requires a bit of training. The more training you get the more confidence you will have in your ability to make sound decisions from your intuition, by listening to your gut.
What is intuition? And what does listening to our ‘gut’ have to do with truth?
Dictionary.com’s definition of intuition is “A direct perception of the truth, fact, etc., independent of any reasoning process; immediate apprehension or comprehension.”
I believe that the innate gift of our intuition acts like a super computer that is always gathering information much faster than our conscious mind can on its own. Think of it like this: Information is energy, and energy can transfer at the speed of light.
Your superconscious and unconscious minds analyze and process more than 90% of all information energetically and almost instantaneously. Contrast this to the fact that your conscious mind receives only 10% (at best) of the incoming sensory stimuli, and the processing speed of the conscious mind is extremely slow.
An apt analogy here would be to compare a super computer with the highest speed internet possible (your fully functioning innate Intuition) with a 1990’s edition personal computer with dial up (your conscious mind).
It is fascinating to realize that your conscious mind actually recognizes, reevaluates and reinterprets “life” after it has already happened based on prior conceptions, attitudes, expectations and beliefs. And if the ego mind is given data that doesn’t conform or fit with what it thinks it already knows, then it will either discard it or rewrite it to fit prior expectations and conceptions. Tricky, eh?
That’s why it’s not such a good idea to base decisions on the conscious mind alone without consulting your innate intuitive intelligence as well.
Since your subconscious mind takes in millions of bits of information in mere nanoseconds, it processes this information and gives your conscious mind the filtered data. If you don’t listen to your intuitive knowing, then you can’t make decisions from a quantum leap perspective. It happens so quickly that you have a sense of simply “knowing” the right from the wrong, the positive from the negative, the True from the untrue.
For example, have you ever gone somewhere and immediately felt it wasn’t safe? Your subconscious mind processed something that you didn’t see, hear, smell, touch or taste with your conscious mind, but recognized it as potentially dangerous and sent the signal in a way that your conscious mind could interpret correctly, if you’re paying attention.
Someone recently shared with me how they “feel” a knowingness in their body. When something is wrong she gets a strong tingly feeling in her chest. When she needs to make a decision about something she will quiet her mind and ask a question. If the answer is yes she gets a strong feeling of calmness all over. She has learned the art of discernment.
5 Simple Steps To Developing Your Intuition
Center yourself and get quiet. Follow your breath, in and out, and relax more with every breath cycle. To do this well, it is helpful to stand tall and balanced, but if you prefer to sit, that’s ok. It just may be a little harder at first until you get the hang of it. Close your eyes and feel the ground beneath your feet, the energies of the earth, and be fully present, right here, right now, nothing added. Let everything else go.
Connect with your heart (superconscious mind). Imagine that your heart has a direct connection with the Truth, and trust that this is so.
Connect with your gut (unconscious mind). Did you know that your gut possesses neural cells and is in fact your first brain? Neural cells originated in the gut first when your body was being formed in the womb, then a portion of these cells split off and began to form your spinal cord, then they formed your heart which is also lined with neural cells, then eventually became your head brain.
Connect with the idea, concept, or object that you are curious about and ask your question. Then, invite your body to either Lean In (meaning: yes I want more of that or I’m drawn to that, it’s okay to go there, it feels true) or Pulling Back (meaning: no that’s not good for me or I don’t want that, don’t go there, something is wrong or untrue).
Then, simply wait for your intuition (your gut) to signal you with its answer. Be patient. Receiving your answer can take as long as a second or a minute or two, depending on your ability to be fully present and clear in your request, and how much practice you have.
Leaning in means there’s something there to learn or to know that will lead you to a truth.
Pulling Back means there’s something there that is repellant to your bodymind and intuitive knowing, an untruth, a lie or it’s simply not right for you at this time.
Standing in balance without leaning in or pushing away means your bodymind is neutral on the subject, it’s neither good or bad, positive or negative, true or untrue. It can also mean you have asked a question that is unclear or the answer isn’t a simple yes, no or neutral.
Everyone has their own unique and innate way of accessing, analyzing and interpreting information. Learning how to develop your intuition will significantly help you in learning to communicate with and understand animals and the world around you too.
This is why it’s so important to make a decision based on your intuition and not merely on your so called rational logical ego mind. Your gut knows more than your mind does about what you really need, what is good for you, and what isn’t.
It is definitely worth the investment of time and resources to learn to develop your intuition. It will help you make the best decisions for yourself, to access higher knowledge and extrasensory information, and can even help save your life.
Ready to learn how to talk to animals yourself? Check out all of my courses at Learnhowtotalktoanimals.com, Start Here! Take a look and choose what most appeals to you. If you are a newbie, then I highly recommend starting with the Beginning Core Foundations Course. The Advanced Animal Talk Mastery Course is awesome and includes many of my favorite, most powerful healing techniques along with many specific topics that every animal talk student needs to know how to deal with successfully.
The post 5 Simple Steps to Developing Your Intuition by Learning to Listen to Your Gut appeared first on Val Heart.
from Val Heart https://www.valheart.com/intuition/
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
andrea98pilot
Highway Star
wiseartisanparadise-blog
Untitled
wysterias-not-so-secret-journal
Wysteria's Journal
uselessdogboy
I Couldn't Stay Away