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v-anrouge · 2 months

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This is a queued post and it includes talks about transphobia and mentions of self harm and eating disorders

Im here to talk and announce a break, first thing's first j relapsed, in literally like everything sh ed and didn't try to kill myself is because of a few people and the fact my pills ended. For a very long time in this blog u have not been feeling like human, it's like most of you don't even actually like and just come talk to me when im being funny and fun or when i post something rook related that you like, ive really been trying to get rid of that feeling but it keeps on coming back and it's unbearable to be in this blog at this point. this situation with Shiba only really confirmed it for me, I saw about like 4 mutuals referring to this as drama, and complaining about seeing it on dash and while obviously you have all the rights to be displeased with a constant show of negativity in your dash, i beg of you to try and think how i, a trans man, must feel seeing you refer to me and other mutuals calling out transphobia and have to read you refer to this as drama and not as a literal crime. I understand if you got annoyed by me talking about it constantly and to that i ask that you please block me, because i have been literally beaten, bullied, harassed and even doxxed by transphobes, I do not take anything that displays even a bit of prejudice against my trans siblings lightly, hence why i was so "histerical and obsessed" and was being so "stupid and acting like an idiot" as someone people would claim. I do not care what view you have of me i really don't, im used to this shit, ive been trans and alive in the most transphobic country for 20 years, it's no news, but it still hurts. And it hurts even more when I see someone say i was an idiot for blocking someone immediately and calling them out when they side with a transphobe, and it hurts even more when I see a person i thought liked me complain about "drama still going on" rest assured that i won't be "bitching" about it any longer

For soru, who cant possibly process why i have blocked you, your take on that situation and your friend have both brought me terrible flashbacks of my own past as a child dealing with transphobia, of being told people like me are sick and are the seeds of the devil and that we are animals or that there's something wrong with us, like your friend said, their apology is both not genuine and extremely poorly made as they still can't accept the fact that yes, they are transphobic, and you soru, can't imagine how it broke my soul to see your post saying you had given them a chance, but seeing the post you made after, in which you literally agree with your mother you should've stayed away from trans people, that's what broke me the most, and j couldn't even speak about it, because it's "too negative" or im "drama chasing" im sick of this, you can hate and insult me all you want soru rest assured you're not the only one you're not the first nor the last one, maybe this will come off as a surprise to the people that are sure im obsessed with drama and chasing people around but i genuinely did have a lot of respect for you, if the hours ive spent crying over this say anything at all, it's sad that this had to end this way, but not for me, I don't care, this isn't the first or the last time this happens to me, but to my mutuals who i am very sure many are angry that i have made this situation happen, perhaps i should've stayed quiet and keep being funny as people like me best, well it is too late, but i hope that you'll forgive me mutuals, for once again ruining something good.

I don't know how long this break will last or if ill ever even return to this account at all, but i sincerely thank the ones that did treat me like a human, as an equal, that actually saw the person behind v-anrouge. you can't possibly believe how much you mean to me

That's about it, do have a great day

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positivelyadhd · 5 months

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hi just wanna say thank u so much for this blog. i dont even remember when i started following it, maybe a year or two or three ago? but it was the first ever like, genuine unabashed positivity account on the internet i started engaging with.

i used to loathe myself for years. i used to beat myself up for everything and criticize myself and assume everyone was holding me to this impeccable yet undefined social standard that was always barely out of reach. i used to isolate myself and avoid everything and i didn't really care for life. i thought self affirmations were stupid and self love was uncomfortable, weird, and i relied on every form of external validation to feel good about myself. i didnt think i needed friends and i did everything to avoid feeling any hurt.

i started trying out this thing of unabashed self kindness earlier this year and it's been incredibly foreign, but also i have never felt more alive since i was an actual child. and i think like, majority of the words that have kept me afloat have been from posts on this blog.

im at a point now where ive like, experienced so much joy that my brain's sort of reared its head and started beating me up again when there's a chance i'll become depressed again. which is not fun but also im really really glad i have things to lose in this world now. if that makes sense lol

thank u sm for being a wodnerful ray of positivity in this world and i wish u the absolute best. 💖💖💖

Hello Anon!

Firstly, I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to see this! (I need to use tumblr desktop more, mobile always seems to hide ask notifs from me!)

I honestly can't find words to tell you how happy and honoured it makes me to know that this blog and my words have helped you in being kinder to yourself and finding more joy in the world.

Everything you said, about not believing in positivity posts and isolating yourself and holding yourself to an impossible standard also resonates so deeply with me. Those are all things I found really really difficult (and still sometimes do!) and are the reasons I started this blog in the first place! I admired the positivity community here a lot and wanted to have somewhere to keep the posts that resonated with me in one place. As a way of reminding myself that there is so much joy and beauty in the world if you look for it, but also acknowledging that that can be so difficult when you're struggling with mental illness and the fact you are trying is so, so important. This blog is here for everyone, always, but it started as a thing for myself when I was finding it hardest to find the parts I love in the world! I am so happy to hear that it's also helped to achieve the same thing for you as well. If there's one thing I want to do with my life it's to help people in ways I wish I could've been helped myself and to remind people (and myself!) that there is wonderful things here, even it's sometimes hard to see.

I'm sorry to hear that you've been finding it harder again, but I am sending you so much love and positivity and I hope you can continue to be kind and patient with yourself as you have been and know that you deserve to do the kind things that you do for yourself.

I am sending you all my love and thank you so much for this ask <33

#once again i can't tell you how greatful I am for this message anon thank you <33 #anon #opening letters

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jess-moloney · 6 months

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hi love, i’m sorry to see you’re getting threats and general hate for having a blog where you share your own personal thoughts, opinions and concerns. god forbid someone has their own thoughts these days lmao

i’d like to say, i used to be friends with alex (creelslut/jamiesdarlin) and let me tell you im so sorry he’s bothering you. to say that he’s truly an evil person is an understatement. people on twitter praise him but the bullying i and someone else went through was like no other from him. threats like ‘kill your self’ are unfortunately common from him. which is upsetting considering he claims to be mental health positive but people on twitter and tumblr have no idea what it’s like behind closed doors/dms with him.

all that negativity and hatred from him and others just to support their faves girlfriend who at the end of the day probably only entertained him and THAT friendship group only to get attention and for people to think positively of her. at the end of the day she doesn’t care about them or any of jamie’s fans, only herself.

keep doing what you’re doing. a lot of us on here got your back even though you seem very strong and unbothered.

i very much enjoy your account and the things you have to say. keep doing you 😌

I'm sorry you experienced that, I'm sorry anyone has experienced that from anyone in this fandom. This particular person does seem very unhinged though. I've skimmed through their Twitter and their blog and I'm just utterly amazed at how completely unstable it seems they are. Their ideas of how connected they are with Jamie on some sort of personal level is disturbing. In a perfect world, I would think that Jamie might be aware of the potential danger of some of these people. The problem is that in a convention setting he meets so many and it would be hard to pick out one from the other all the time. He's also, by nature, a very kind person (going by interviews, stories, and other things I've seen of him with his fans) so it must be easy for some people to confuse this with a genuine connection or friendship when it isn't. I'm not saying he's stupid, in fact, he's probably more aware of the problem fans than we consider but I'm also sure since he's so friendly he may think he's helping in some way or he knows better than to get confrontational and risk their retaliation.

It's an absolute shame that Jess got involved with any fan but the fact that she has been linked to at least two of the biggest and worst fanatics and made them feel like they had some sort of friendly relationship with her is concerning. I doubt she's aware of who she was dealing with (though I don't know how she didn't see any red flags at all with the marriage certificate girl) but what do I know? It seems very weird that she'd want to talk to any of his fans and pose for photos with them because why?

Does she like to gloat that she's his girlfriend? Does she like to hear how great Jamie is over and over so she can bask in the glory of dating him? What is her interest to a level that she would go to multiple conventions and meet with multiple fans and take multiple photos? It puts her in danger, it puts him in danger, and it's downright weird. Jamie should have told her this (for all we know he did try to explain it to her she just didn't care or told him it was fine) but, my God, why does she not have a concept of what she's doing and why it's not a good thing. I'm very sure that she doesn't care about these fans as much as she cares about increasing her own social status and following by being nice to them so they idolize her as much as they idolize Jamie.

I'm glad you enjoy my account and I'm not bothered by any of this nonsense. I know that insults are the last resort of the desperate when they have no means of intelligent arguments or counter-points and seeing how the fandom behaved before I started this blog gave me some idea of what to expect. It's why I've done it anonymously. I highly doubt any of them can get me to leave when it's fairly easy to delete things I don't like or block people who become a problem. It would really come down to Jess or Jamie confronting me and since I don't think that is ever going to happen I doubt it will ever be a concern. More than likely I predict a breakup sooner rather than later and there won't be much need for this blog to exist anymore.

#jess moloney #jamie campbell bower #jamie bower #mail

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yesimwriting · 3 years

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Falling Angels: chapter two

A/n took me longer to get around to writing part 2 than i thought!! i didn’t know there was an audience for this idea but im glad you guys liked it!!

Im adding a country to the grishaverse to make my story work,, def not a big deal i just needed a country in which i could control the history of without worrying about conflicting with cannon lol

Link to part one: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/yesimwriting/652318577650696192 (lmk if this works ive never linked something to a tumblr post lol)

Series Summary: Y/n is a rising star in the most famous circus in Ketterdam because of her ability to see the future. Unfortunately for her, Kaz Brekker knows more of her backstory than he should, and he’s willing to use that to his advantage. The one thing he’s not betting on? That he doesn’t know her entire story

Chapter summary: Y/n gets a visitor before getting tricked into the most dangerous show of her life.

Pairng: SOC x reader, Kaz Brekker x sunshine-y! Psychic! Reader

My father seemed to love me more after two glasses of something amber. It was after these two glasses that he would tell me realities his inebriated self believed I needed to internalize. He’d pat my head affectionately and smiled at me as he told me that the world was a bad place. Most of his lessons are lost in my mind, but the one I remember most clearly is that there’s no such thing as a kept secret. There’s always a leak or a flaw or a factor you could not account for. He told me that if I wanted to keep a secret, I would have to decide what I was willing to risk for it.

I know from Seria’s reaction to his presence that listening to Kaz is a risk, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take for my secret. “I don’t know what you think I am, but you’re mistaken.” It doesn’t really matter that he believes me. I have the paperwork I need to disprove him. “I have to get to my tent.”

“The princess gets her own tent?” His words are saturated by mock casualness but I can feel his pride on how he delivered that line.

My body is still tense from balancing over flames and his confidence only adds to my desire to unravel. I can’t get angry here. Not at him. Not with the way he grips that cane of his. “I don’t understand what--”

“You may be able to play pretend here where no one wants to look twice at you, but I know what you are.” His stiffness leaves my skin prickling. “I know who you are.”

I swallow back my panic. “Then who am I?”

“You’re that king’s bastard--the one with a high bounty on her head.” Don’t back down. Even the smallest crack will confirm his story. “As long as she’s returned alive.”

Thoughts of what my father would do to me if ever given the chance strike me with more anxiety than his presence does. “I’ve heard of the girl you’re talking about,” I admit, the lie leaving me as easily as the air leaves my lungs when I exhale. “But I’m not her.”

“You’re not from Ketterdam, if you were you would have known who I was after you friend referred to me as Dirtyhands.” I have no defense, but I never claimed to be from Ketterdam. “You make your business claiming to be a psychic.” I am a psychic, but now is not the time to make that argument. “Elkosa is a relatively small and self efficient port kingdom, the island is nothing more than a jagged coastline barely larger than Ketterdam, but I have connections in all places.” He knows someone from Elkosa? I have to fight the instinct to move all of my weight on the balls of my feet, prepared to run. “A captain of the royal fleet told me the story of the night the King’s bastard ran into the meeting room the night before ten ships were meant to sail to Ravka.”

He studies my reaction as I struggle to keep my expression blank. “None of that seems connected.”

“Patience is a virtue most Saints are familiar with.” I roll my eyes. “The bastard couldn’t have been more than nine at the time, but the guards did not want to let her in. The King told them to let her interrupt. The sailor noted this because he had never made an exception to his meeting before. The girl described a nightmare to her father, a nightmare of a storm and ten dead birds. The king did not comfort her, she finished her story by saying that he asked to know about all of her dreams. She went back upstairs and the King continued the meeting as normal but the next day the King cancelled the trip.”

I remember that night as the night I realized that if I’m not careful, I’ll feel what I see in my visions. It felt like I was drowning. I felt the death of each of those men and instead of comforting me, my father nodded once like I had offered him advice and sent me back to my room. “And?” My defense is weak, my mind too lost in the memories of drowning. “Many smaller countries are superstitious.”

“The next day the worst storm to have impacted that ocean occurred. For four nights and three days the storm continued.”

I press my nails into my palms. “You don’t believe that I am precognitive, so that sailor’s unverified story has nothing to do with me.”

“A princess that can see the future disappears at the same time a failing circus hires a girl who has no business in this city who claims to be able to see the future.” He adjusts his stance, taking pressure off the cane as if he’s preparing to need to use it for something else. “I am not fool enough to believe in coincidence.”

“And I am not fool enough to crack beneath the vague threats of a man. In my experience, men always threaten with a blade when really all they’re in possession of is a butter knife. Try to drag me from here kicking and screaming, find a way to incapacitate me and put me on a ship to Elkosa, but when the King sees that you brought him a stranger he will have your head.”

He blinks, expression hard as stone. I tense, preparing for a physical blow. “I didn’t expect you to be a half-decent liar, but I should have.” I bite my tongue to avoid resorting to something I can’t take back. Like begging. “Even if it’s in only half your blood.”

“I am not her.” My stubbornness burns more than the need to survive. I inhale, hoping to shake the grasp of the sensation but it only worsens. The pinch of dread in my chest is heavy and familiar. A vision.

No. Not now--not in front of him. I push against it even though I know that only makes it worse. Not now. Not now. I should be grounding myself but all I can think about is how stupid I am and how bad this situation is.

“I’m not an idiot, I know to be quiet. I see myself crouched somewhere dark.

“Being defensive doesn’t make you any more intelligent.” It takes me a minute to recognize Kaz in the darkness.

We’re somewhere small, our backs against the same wall but our shoulders do not touch. This vision is enshrouded by the feel of panic.

This other me grimaces, but her eyes lack anger, “Remind me why I agreed to help you again?”

“You never told me why,” he admits, “you can change your mind on participating and I can change my mind on whether or not you're more useful than your father’s money.”

Something loud crashes from behind the door we’re both staring at. “You’ll have no use for me or my father’s money if we die here.” I squeeze my hands together.

He hesitates, “My ghost will.”

The future-me almost smiles. “I wonder if I’ll be able to see ghost futures.” I hesitate, something strange behind my eyes. “I wonder if that can exist, if there’s a future beyond endings.”

Future-Kaz is silent for a long second. “There should be,” he says, “for someone like you, at least.”

I watch the way I take in his words. “You’d be there, too,” my voice is low, “your ghost at least.” I turn my head, staring at the door instead of him, “If you weren’t, I’d miss the brooding.”

The vision leaves me with sweaty palms and swirling thoughts. All of my visions do that. Not all of them make me feel so confused. Apparently, he needs help and I agree to do so. At one point we’ll be pushed into a life or death situation and I won’t loathe him.

I blink twice, forcing myself to hold onto the reality in front of me. I don’t have to agree--the future isn’t set in stone. For all I know tomorrow morning I’ll have a vision in which he kills me.

“Are you ignoring me?”

Shaking my head, I turn to face him. “You need help.” I don’t wait for his reaction. “You’re not here to return someone to the King of Elkosa, you’re here because you need someone that can see the future.”

“I--”

“It’s not that you won’t take me to Elkosa, it’s that you’d rather use my abilities for something.”

I’m confusing him again, but that’s okay. I’d rather deal with him confused than angry. “I need to know how a certain business deal of mine is going to be worth what it costs.”

He’s spent the entire time claiming he doesn’t believe in my power. Was that some kind of tactic? In the vision I saw, despite the panic surrounding the situation I didn’t feel panicked around him. The probability of that future occurring is probably low. I’ve been wrong before, the future changes too much for me to know everything.

“That’s not how readings work,” I admit, “I don’t have that much control on them. Most of them come to me randomly. The events I see always involve me or someone I care about to a certain capacity. I can give someone a general glimpse into their future but I can’t promise I’ll see what they want. Sometimes I can see the general vision by just focusing on their energy but usually I need some physical contact for it to work.” That seems like a fair explanation. “Oh--and not all of my predictions come true, most are blurry, few are solid--the future is always moving.”

Wait...the vision I saw where I was with Kaz wasn’t blurry. Those can be wrong, but it’s much rarer. Do I really agree to this?

“Then maybe I should make it involve you.” His aggression has me forcing myself to stand my ground. He can threaten me all he wants but that won’t change things. “Or take the money your father would give me and cut my losses.”

Every time I’ve purposefully destroyed a solid vision, something bad has happened. I’m genuinely considering it. “What do you need a psychic for, anyways?”

“To get through the Fold.”

Despite everything, I laugh. “I’ve never seen anyone get through the Fold, literally or in my visions.”

He’s unphased by my doubt. “It’s happened.”

I really don’t want to help him. “Well then good luck, I’m happy to part ways here.”

I manage one step forward before he moves his cane in front of my path. I’m getting tired of this. “You’re assisting me one way or the other, whether that aid will be financial or through your services is up to you.”

Anger pinches in my stomach the way it often does when I’m told what to do. The one thing centering me is the vision still reflecting in my thoughts. There’s no denying it--I had felt comfortable with him. There is a future in which I feel comfortable with him and I’m not sure I’ll be able to avoid it.

“I won’t get in trouble for you,” I tell him, “The Ringmaster holds onto those indentured to him, especially the commodities that bring him profit.”

There’s something stiff about his silence. I wonder if he’s always like this, pushing the weight of his presence onto those around him without saying a word. “When I have a goal, it is achieved. I’ll speak to him.”

I cannot imagine a conversation I want to be involved in less. The Ringmaster and this man that Seria had labeled ‘Dirtyhands’. “I just had a vision--I saw your entire conversation and it ends with you missing an arm.” His stoic expression does not shift. “Okay, I’m aware that it wasn’t the funniest joke, but throw me a bone--you threatened to kidnap me and sell me to my father in order to extort me and I’ve been nothing but polite to you.”

He’s quiet for a moment, something in his expression changing in a way I can’t read. “All you’ve done is lie since the moment you started to speak to me.”

The optimist in me would like to think that his annoyance counts for banter. I shrug, feeling a little lighter than I did a second ago. I’m certainly not comfortable but I’m starting to see how to put up with the tension without letting it strain me. “Well, polite for my standards.”

I let him brood. “You must have done well as a royal.”

My past cuts through the peace I managed to grab onto. It’s not his fault, he has no way of knowing what the castle was like for me. I open my mouth, but I don’t know what I’m going to say. “I had my moments,” I finally settle on, hoping the echo of pain isn’t visible behind my eyes.

I guess it doesn’t matter if he sees me bleed. He’s heartless, and I hate sympathy.

“Y/n,” Seria’s voice is genuine anger, “You’ve turned into an idiot--first the tightrope walk and now entertaining whatever deal he’s trying to coax from you.” I love Seria, she’s the reason I didn’t die in the street when I first arrived in Ketterdam, but she sees me as a mindless child. “Whatever he told you, whatever he promised you--it’s a lie.”

“He hasn’t promised me anything.” I need to calm her down. Once she’s calm, everything will be normal again. “And he knows.” I don’t have to turn to feel the way Seria gapes at me. “He knows who I am, so I have to do what he wants.”

“You never have to do anything a man is forcing onto you, y/n. We’ll find a way--”

“Seria, it’s fine,” I reach to touch her arm, “I’ll be fine, you can’t protect me from everything and you don’t have to.”

Kaz throws a pointed glare at the man who was with him earlier. When did the stranger get here? “Boss, she’s faster than she looked, but I have what we need to get the girl--”

“You’re late,” Kaz sighs, bored, “she’s agreed.”

Wait--what was he going to do if I didn’t agree? “Out of curiosity, what are you talking about?” The man blinks twice, squeezing a rag between his ring-clad fingers. “You were going to use chloroform to kidnap me, weren’t you?”

For some reason I don’t understand, the stranger gives me a look that’s a cross between sheepish and charming. “Nothing personal.”

“Or original.”

Seria pinches my arm. “Y/n,” she scolds, “your sense of humor is going to kill me one of these days.”

I cringe, pulling my arm away. “When I met you, you were pickpocketing in the pleasure district, please remember that.”

She rolls her eyes. “An attitude like that is going to leave you without a place to sleep at night.”

I take her comment for the empty threat it is. Every other day she’s threatening to kick me out of her private trailer so that I’m forced to fight for cots or speak to the Ringmaster about my lodging arrangements. He’d give me what I want, but speaking to him feels so slimy I’d sleep in the woods before trying it.

“Kaz.” I turn my head in time to see the girl that gave me the advice about the tightrope walker. “We need to go, he’s coming soon--you’ll do better to speak to him in the morning after she’s gone, that way he has nothing to hold over your head.”

“Once I’m gone?” The girl had called me a Saint. I can appeal to her. “I’m not--I’m not going anywhere, I said I’d help.”

Her eyes widen, sympathy reflected clearly in her dark irises. “There was never a version of this in which you ended up staying here.” I hear a hint of apology in her voice. “You won’t believe me, but I promise this will be better for you.” All of her pity is gone with those, replaced by something hard.

Seria responds for me, “I think you should go.”

“What?”

She almost smiles, but her eyes are painfully sad. “I never wanted you to be here forever. I don’t trust these people, but I trust their ability to get you out of here, even if only for a little while. Bad things are coming, and I think you’ll miss the worst of it if you go now.”

What she alludes to is a blade in my heart. “You want me to leave you here to deal with it?”

“Y/n, I’ve been hurt here more times than I can count--”

“No, I won’t leave y--”

Seria squeezes my shoulder, “It’s not forever.” When she wants something, it’s almost impossible to get around it. “Besides, if I need you, you’ll see it.”

My world feels to have lost the vibrance of color. I’ve left so much, but I let myself believe I wouldn’t leave her. I pull her into the hug. “The moment I see a vision of you in any type of danger, I’m coming back.” I hug her even tighter when she tries to pull away so that I can whisper something in her ear, “I’ll use this opportunity to leave the Ringmaster and then I’ll get you out, and together we’ll leave Ketterdam. We’ll find your child, like you always wanted to and they’ll know that they're lucky because they’re the only kid in the world to have you as a mother.”

She squeezes me so tightly I find it hard to take full breaths. “Two,” Seria whispers, “I have two children.”

My eyes burn as her words find their way into my heart. “I love you, Seria.”

“I love you too, my star,” she pulls away enough so that I can look her in the eye, “you don’t like being called a Saint, but I can’t think of anyone more deserving of the title.”

Tears prick my eyes as she releases me. “I’ll find you.”

“He’ll be coming soon,” the girl warns, “He spoke to an advisor about wanting to find you after the show.”

No doubt to praise the fire stunt he forced onto me. Bastard. I nod once but I don’t move. I can’t bring myself to leave Seria until the girl places a hand on my elbow.

Falling Angels Taglist: @glowstick-lesbian @cashlum @whatiswrongwithpeople @pass-me-jeez-it @thecraziestcrayon

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straighttohellbuddy · 3 years

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now i’m thinking of htlgi!corpse saying that line to tubbo in the game but demon!reader is like “hell says no, not today. he’s too precious. you on the other hand….” and tubbo is just giggling because whilst he loves the joke he secretly enjoys demon!readers protective nature around him when they’re gaming. -🐈‍⬛

The idea that htlgi!reader & corpse have lowkey adopted half of the clingy duo each is delightful because all I can think is considering their online personas

"My son Tubbo is getting tested for the gifted program at his school, and Corpse's son Tommy thinks his toothbrush is haunted."

Tho it could very easily be the other way around too lol.

But also reader tweeting this to Ranboo during his first mcc

I firmly believe the reader does not have an alt twitter account. It's because they're from the era of the internet where it was kind of all or nothing, but also their pinned tweet "no alt accounts you WILL read my 2am rants about cheese and them watch me self promo in the next tweet with no middle ground we die like men" (I love the chaotic stupid htlgi reader)

But back to reader & tubbo, can you IMAGINE how hard they'd hype that kid up after hearing Life By The Sea???? THEY'D BE SO PROUD!!! Absolutely on the STREAM LIFE BY THE SEA train.

Also, we've established that Corpse and Reader teaming up in games is terrifyingly competent or chaotic stupid, but if Reader and Tubbo were ever teamed up they would probably be absolutely unstoppable. Like the reader is v protective of anyone younger than them, especially teenagers because they know what it's like to be online and in the spotlight at that age, but teaming up with Tommy or Ranboo for games isn't the same as it is with tubbo. Reader works well with them and there's good BantzTM but I feel like with tubbo, and yes I'm projecting here, the reader unlocks like, a new level of competency from Sudden Onset Opposite Cain Instinct. The reader doesn't really play enough minecraft to be considered for MCC, but there's a joke that surfaces after a few streams with Reader and Tubbo on the same team for various games, that if the reader was teamed with tubbo for MCC they would somehow win out of spite.

But also I love the idea of the reader being their friends' biggest hypeman. Unashamedly supportive on every platform, incredibly outspoken. YouTubers and traditional celebrities alike.

tweets posted within 24hrs:

Reader tweeting "ITS NOT A TATBILB SOUNDTRACK IF I DONT ABSOLUTELY GO OFF FOR AT LEAST 3 MINUTES WHILE @NoahCent AND @lanacondor MAKE ME BELIEVE IN LOVE 🥰🥰🥰" during his Always And Forever live blog. The chain that follows:

@NoahCent: ITS NOT TATBILB WITHOUT YOU

@YourTwitter: YOU KEEP SAYING NICE THINGS IM GONNA WRITE A SONG ABT U MY DUDE

@NoahCent: 👀 don't tease me like that

@YourTwitter: next time I'm in Miami I'll serenade u

@NoahCent: that better be a promise

AND THEN THE READER TWEETING "@slimesicles first dsmp stream is the only thing that matters actually 🥰💚" at 3am and then immediately replying to themselves "he has bones of dubious origins and I love him"

Then tweeting at 2pm the next day "sometimes I think about the fact that I just got to watch @Corpse_Husband stand in the middle of his kitchen and eat cereal out of a saucepan because neither of us can be bothered to wash dishes and I'm genuinely overwhelmed with love." and then "Its so dumb and sappy but I feel like I've got more of a crush on him now than before we were dating. Hes so cool and talented, do you think he likes me? 😳👉👈" (and three minutes later they post "he read my tweets and muttered 'we are in the timeline god abandoned'. I think he likes me. We're washing the dishes now 😍")

The reader just having so much love in their heart but absolutely refusing to be normal about it. I could bang on forever about the reader not understanding how big they are in the real world and somehow always being shocked when celebrities they haven't directly worked with respond to their tweets ---

@YourTwitter: @TheRock notice me senpai

@TheRock: 👀 You called?

@YourTwitter:

Reader is peak "pure of heart, dumb of ass" when they want to be. They play up some of it, as it's almost always been a part of their persona when they're not actively spiralling. But also they're not Stupid; chaotic is often mistaken for being stupid, but they're smart enough to have gotten where they are.

The reader casually and precisely tearing apart and disproving malicious rumours about their friends on stream without looking away from whatever game they're playing. offhandedly alluding to the fact that they havea scarily detailed understanding of how and why their friends are successful, both from a YouTube and a general entertainment industry standpoint. Hearing their friends in an Among Us lobby talking about old YouTube trends from around 2013, and the reader going quiet as they start talking about a very specific one that everyone else nostalgically remembers watching, and the reader quietly pipes up "I started that one" and the way every else remembers at the same time that theyre Old YouTube Famous, like "I've been on this site longer than Markiplier, only by a month and a half but still" Old YouTube Famous, "I've forgotten more collabs that I've been in than you have had collabs" Old YouTube Famous.

If they could bother having an ego, they'd be insufferable. I love them. Very Choose Joy mentality instead 🥰

#black cat anon #htlgi #your local homosexual with no chill

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swampgallows · 2 years

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feelin like that dude who ate an individual slice of cake alone in his car just to have a single thing to himself that he didnt have to share with anybody or make anybody else’s business. not his wife wanting some or kids begging for a lick of frosting, just a moment for himself to be himself by himself and enjoy something all for him. quite literally as i was plating my small batch of cookies my mom comes in and goes OOHH COOKIES HUH??? THATS FUNNN LOOK WHAT A FUN THING YOU DID like i cannot even make cookies at 4 in the fucking morning without her finding out about it. and of course the feeling is guilt; i look like the asshole for getting upset since she didnt do anything wrong. but she “caught” me, as she always does, and that’s the real message.

my mom is such an overwhelmingly oppressive force in my life. i want to be able to move out and be independent so badly. im going to be fucking 32 this year. and every single year has felt exactly the same for the last ten, where im just stagnant and stymied at every turn. ever since i had to come home from college because i got hit by that fucking car, ive felt like i’ll never be able to escape. i cant sleep at night because she snores through the walls, i cant have a single conversation with her without her turning it into a therapy session for her (despite me setting boundaries, kicking her out of my room, and nagging her to see an ACTUAL THERAPIST). i even struggle with my own therapy because i know she’s listening in the next room. i cant withdraw from my own bank account without her seeing. the car i drive and the insurance on it is specifically in her name, and she keeps procrastinating on giving me the title (despite assuring me it’s “my” car). and of course, her hoarding. my parents have so much control over my life that it feels insurmountable to get out from under it. and they dont want me to leave. my mom keeps calling me her “roommate”, as if i selected her as a candidate to live with. as if i looked at all my options and chose my mother as a roommate.

r crumb is a fucking asshole, but there was a documentary that delved into his family life, where his brother and mother lived together, both severely depressed, and the brother morosely commented how he would probably never be able to leave, as he had to take care of their aging mother. he made self-deprecating comments about how he was stuck there while robert got to move on, and eventually he just killed himself. the only way for him to break the tether was for him to take his own life. i saw that documentary as a teenager and it’s haunted me ever since.

Charles, who Robert acknowledges as his main artistic influence, no longer draws, has never lived on his own, and takes prescription psychiatric medications to help stabilize his mental state (he committed suicide before the film was released[5]).

it’s so fucking cliche and stupid but tumblr is genuinely the only place i can be myself and express myself. i can’t put up pictures on my walls so i put them on my blog. i used to be able to draw with the touchpad, so i loved making silly doodles for friends about whatever dumb shit came to mind, without the pressure of it needing to be “worth my degree” or profitable. i cant express my political opinions, as scant as they are, because my family is full of conservatives. and despite my mom cornering me and forcing me to come out to her, she’s quite comfortable being a bigot, only making efforts to “be woke” so as not to upset me, rather than from a place of empathy.

tumblr is the only place my parents cant find me, mostly because they have no fucking idea how to use the site. everything else, no matter what it is, they’ll eventually find out, because no matter where i go and what i do, i have to fucking come back here. i feel like unless i can make a full, clean break from my parents—my own car, my own bank account, a job or school where they can’t just “swing by” and visit—i’m never going to get to be my own person. im never going to be free. but i dont know if im strong enough to break away with absolutely nothing. i dont think im strong enough to survive on my own with nothing to my name.

#blathering

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conservativetranny · 3 years

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2020 blog update

Hello. No idea if any of you ‘remember’ me but I do seem to have a fair few followers on here. I managed to access the login information for this account and it is safe to say this blog is dead. I denounce everything I stood for on this stupid shit.

I’m writing this because it’s what the blog deserves. Not looking to be dramatic, not looking for sympathy, in fact I think i’ll get a bit of backlash for this but bring it on.

The past and the present- a summary

I had this blog when I was 14, unfortunately way too young to have a social media presence (one which carried any responsibility like this one anyway). No matter what age I said I was, no matter how I portrayed myself or how you, my followers interpreted me, I was a sad young trans guy desperately hoping to look big, cool, masculine and stoic, and that manifested in the most toxic way possible.

I’m 17 now, still very very young, and after developments in my life, especially pursuing my medical transition and becoming happy within myself, I no longer hold such toxic beliefs as I once did. I am happier with myself and no longer feel the need to sacrifice others’ dignity, respect, and unfortunately sometimes on this blog, privacy, for my own. I was a very insecure, stubborn, and ignorant teenager, who dealt with a lot of denial. I’m not blaming the way I treated people online on other factors, but of course external factors came into play. I was dealing with bullying and insecurity, with parental problems, and with loneliness and depression. I seeked some sort of community, and I wanted to push myself away from the ‘weak’ trans community (the way I viewed it at the time). I wasn’t in denial personally, with the fact that I was trans (being gay is a different story- I was in complete denial with the fact that I’m gay), more just with the way other people viewed me (I will expand on this). I could elaborate on the way in which I viewed other people and the way that projected onto my conduction online, but it is a complex and confusing story. I have completely changed my viewpoint on trans ‘discourse’, I am open minded, I am close friends with people I would have turned my ignorant nose up at years ago. I am so proud to say that I am a completely different person now. I grow every day, it seems, and I can assure that I will never return to this ignorant mindset.

Growth

With experience, I have grown too. Obviously, from 14-17 i have become more mature. I have different experiences now as well, for example, I don’t bind often at all really anymore, because its more comfortable and can sometimes make me more dysphoric to know I am binding. I’m bringing this up because I bet you back when I was active on this blog, I would’ve laughed at the more mature, tolerant me, and probably went on a tyrade about how I was a fake trans guy or less of a man for not binding. I often wonder what ‘old me’ would think of ‘new me’. Now obviously, three years isn’t a hell of a big difference, but to a 17 come 18 year old it is. I understand I am not an adult yet, but I’ve always taken pride in conducting myself with a sense of maturity and articulacy, and for this post and platform especially I feel it is appropriate.

The Truscum Mindset

Back when I ran this blog, I was in an echo chamber of like minded people, which didn’t help my ideological development. I watched youtubers like Blaire White and Kalvin Garrah, who I thought gave me a balanced, moderate, and fair opinion which is clear is not the case. Back then I would’ve scoffed at the idea of Blaire and Kalvin and other similar people as being radical or a gateway, but I urge you, if you feel you are slipping to obsession with those ideologies, to seek to widen your opinions and associations. I understand it’s a fairly niche discourse topic, but for me it opened a wider rabbit hole into the alt right. From wanting to fit into the lgbt and wider communities as a masculine male, this opened up the black hole of the alt right, I browsed (now deleted) subreddits and 4chan boards, and forums that put me in a very negative and dangerous place. If you’d like me to make a post elaborating on this, I am more than happy to, but this post is to address conservativetranny.

Denial and owning up to responsibility

Back in 2017/18, I was very much in denial of certain aspects of myself, especially my sexuality. I am gay. I thought that this was, and especially as a trans guy, a demasculating quality. I still deal with those feelings sometimes, as a lot of young gay guys do, but thankfully it does not manifest itself as toxic as it once did. I just wanted to portray myself online as how I thought I wanted to be viewed-I didn’t want to be viewed like ‘any other trans guy’. I wanted to be different, but now I can appreciate individuality and I can also embrace being trans as well.

I used to think that having alt views was the coolest thing ever, which contributed to my slip into the alt right, something on which I’ll elaborate on in later posts. I am now an advocate for deradicalisation, and being rational, truly rational. I’m also an advocate for maturity and owning up to your mistakes.

I have hurt people, especially in my personal life, throughout my time as a stupid, thoughtless immature teenager and i am sorry, from the bottom of my heart, for that. I now respect the hell out of those people and unfortunately, but definitely rightfully so, they have lost their respect for me. I don’t blame them, because as I said, up until very recently I was a horrible, toxic person. With maturity, in the past half a year I have been able to own up to my mistakes and I am now taking responsibility for that. No excuses, because I was a shitty person. Of course there is a line between excuses and justification, and I hope those which are reading this can distinguish and appreciate this difference.

Self Hatred and Truscum

Back when I ran this blog, it was very easy to tell I was self hating. Everything I wrote on here, pretty much, was hateful except for the odd two posts that were about something unrelated to my ideology. I was extremely dysphoric and in a bad place when I wrote these things and certainly projected my insecurities onto others. I wanted to find a community of different thinking people that would accept me, and this community was certainly the wrong turn. I had a feeling that it was wrong at the time, but I was too naive and cowardly to own up to it and seek a way out. I kind of just naturally fell out of it, a a lot of things happened in my personal life in late 2018 that forced me out of trans discourse and into much more toxic places like the alt right and true crime fandoms, and I think I’ve only recently ‘found myself’ in the past year or so. I might make a post on self growth on the future as I intend to keep this blog to elaborate and voice my opinions on deradicalisation and highlight the importance of owning up and self awareness.

Don’t fall into the rabbithole

I’m not too acquainted with trans discourse anymore, so I’m out of the loop on this one, but I’d imagine that there’s still ‘transmed vs tucute’ ideas. Kalvin Garrah’s community comes to mind, I haven’t watched his videos ‘as a fan’, if that makes sense, for a while now but I am aware he has a large fanbase of young trans teens that were in a similar mindset to where I was back when I ran this blog. I would love for this post to reach his opposers and supporters for that matter, as a means to show them that they don’t have to fall into this cycle of hate which can be very damaging. I used to be an avid fan of Kalvin, and Blaire White, amongst others. I watched exclusively their content alone and formed my opinions around theirs. If you’re doing that now, I urge you to consider other people when you do. Think about the people like Brennan Beckwith, people who were severely impacted and hurt by hateful rhetoric. Those people are human too, and with maturity you will learn that people with different experiences and views are, at the end of the day, the same as you, and they have feelings as well .I’m going to make a post in the future about Kalvin Garrah, certainly, but maybe Blaire White as well.

Why now?

You may be wondering why this post is being made now of all times, and that is a question that has every right to be asked. I feel as if this timing is right because I finally possess the level of maturity needed to own up to my mistakes and tell you that I was wrong and it was certainly wrong to post those opinions and mistakes online for all to see, and put people in my real life on blast like I did.

I had completely forgotten about this blog, and forgot about the rude and ignorant words I had written towards the people in my real life, until chance had it that I was in contact with one of the people mentioned in this post. [https://conservativetranny.tumblr.com/post/169351517511/no-one-pretends-to-be-trans]

I’m not going to go into the nuances of the conversation we had, but it turns out they had, for a while and definitely rightfully so been hurt by the fact that I had mentioned them, by name, in this post. And while I’d of course still like to keep these people anonymous and will not sacrifice their anonymity in order to tell a story or ‘save myself’, this post is quite funny to read back on as I am good friends with the people referred to as ‘P’ and ‘Shadow’ now.

This is the end of this post, as I feel I have said everything I have wanted to say regarding my previous conduct on this blog. I’m going to change my name on this blog and my bio as I do intend on further posts in the future. I’m not sure how many people, if any, this post will reach, but I’m satisfied I have written this anyway. I certainly do plan on writing future posts but I’m not exactly sure how to formulate them. But thank you so much for reading this far, and if you have, I appreciate it.

#truscum #transmed #ftm #trans #dysphoria #kalvin garrah #kalvin garbage #terf #deradicalisation #i have literally no idea how to tag this #tucute #do people even say that anymore lol

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frankierose · 3 years

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hey, so... i wanted to make a formal goodbye! cause yk i dont want to just. ghost yall and have you worrying and all that shit but. this is besides the point

as you can tell, i do not post consistently on here anymore. thats bc i will probably not be using tumblr for a while - at least not this acc

i know i know its Sad but. listen tumblr really stresses me out. social media in general is just stressful and having somewhat of a following on here doesnt make it any better. i feel like people are watching my every move, its weird and makes me uncomfortable and self conscious.

and im over it yall!!!! im over having to step on eggshells bc i dont wanna have my whole life ruined!!!! bc i know SOME of yall on here have MAJOR savior complexes and think doxxing people over stupid shit that’s probably misinformation is okay....

so like. yeah. if i ever use tumblr again im making a new account and im not going to give it out on here cause i want a fresh start. i want to wholeheartedly be myself and not give a shit anymore

anyway. to my bestest loveliest friends:

mikey!! i love you so much okay?? i know we havent talked in a WHILE and i missed last months anniversary and augh. but i care about you and i hope youre doing well. if you still want to talk to me then i can figure something out and we can message somewhere else. im sorry for not being very good at keeping up our friendship - ive never really been good at that - but i hope we can still be friends off of tumblr. if not though, i hope you have a wonderful day today and all the days after that. you’ll always be my angel

frnks. you literally like kickstarted my blog and ill always be thankful for that yk. youve always been such a cool and chill person and i think thats really rad!!! i hope we can still be friends off tumblr too (even though we havent talked formally in like... a While) but regardless, i wish you the best man. go live ur emo dreams

and to everyone else who sent me anons or randomly messaged me sometimes - i love you. thank you for supporting me.

signing off, for one last time.

frankie

(PS: if anyone here actually enjoyed my ocs, (other than mikey and red and frnks because ik yall rb’d that shit ty) i may still post stuff about them on @uncommonly-uncanny just so yall can get ur neesha content sdjfsdjdfj)

#its been a wild year and a half on here #maybe one day ill come back but for now? this place is vacant as can be #love yall. have a great dayy

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la5t-res0rt · 4 years

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fun fact fucko no one cares that he’s trans, gnc, or autistic. all they care about is that he said someone wasn’t bisexual all because they hate them. thats fucked up no matter who you are. being austistic isn’t an excuse to be an utter dick hole.

alrighty folks strap in because we are in for a long one today

to start off i will begin by saying that i care about the identities of people i like and call friends i care enough to listen and learn from them because they have different perspectives on issues that i as a person who is none of the things that this person is will ever understand

it is important to listen to people and learn from them not just shine a light out of your ass for someone out of a weird place of blind worship thats honestly so cringey but that isnt what this is about this about you and likely others harassing ad sending death threats my friend and comrade betel bitches

i will now be going under a readmore to spare the dashboard

so lets recap what exactly is he being harassed for

as you all are no doubt aware there is a blog called nether receipts where a certain user we shall not name catalogs instances where members of the beetlejuice fandom are harassed correction its a blog where this person catalogs instances where flaws in their character as well as the characters of the people around her are highlighted and critiqued with the occaisional off color remark and threat which i obviously do not approve of who would

anyway following reading some ill-informed and not-so-well-phrased comments from a certain narcissistic user about their sexuality my friend had this to say

this was the post that got them put on this receipts blog which really exists as a source of people for a certain cluster of the beetlebabe fandom to harass and try to drag or cancel

this is the post that has made people call him biphobic and here is why thats wrong and stupid

you said in your ask that he only is saying that this icky person is not bisexual because there is malice between them and while yes its true that there is malice orion never once said that this person wasnt bisexual

i took the liberty of sifting through the harassment asks he received yesterday because you all love receipts so much i took the liberty of grabbing a few and adding some highlights so you dont miss the important bits

orion never once said this person isnt bisexual he stated that equating doing femme on femme pornography to bisexuality is a biphobic statement and is in fact a problematic thing to say

there may be crossover between bisexual people and people who do femme on femme but they are far from the same thing doing pornography is a choice you actively make and you do it for compensation however being bisexual is simply part of who you are it is something you dont choose

although this person would perhaps disagree

and before you come for me this person posted these for the world to see and obviously i have as many receipts as my drive can carry furthermore how does this argument make sense why would you care so much about heterophobia if youre not heterosexual why are you so pressed oh wait is it perhaps

because this person is using the split attraction model for woke points like this screams that this person sees women as sex objects or perhaps this person is comphet and is denying themselves because heteronormativity is so deeply ingrained in their being that they wish to cling to heterosexuality to keep up their squeaky clean white feminist woman persona or maybe theyre just not well informed on lgbt+ issues

editors note the editor is an ace person who considers using the split attraction model is situations like this isnt exactly helpful like i cant stop you from doing it but you shouldnt have to say im a bisexual heteromantic person you can just be a bisexual woman and keep dating men you dating men doesnt erase your bisexuality saying that you would have sex with a woman but not romantically be involved with them makes the editor think woman = sex object and as a feminist the editor has to say thats fucked up

i will reiterate implying that doing pronography of any kind is equitable to a human sexualty is harmful to bisexual people and if youre like uhhh im bi and i think its okay guess what you do not speak for every single bi person so you should try harder to be compassionate for other peoples level of comfort

in any case statements like these are hurtful to bi people equating voluntary sex work to a sexuality isnt okay and its something that person should maybe address and consider apologizing for but since this person only listens to people in their inner circle and they dont even really listen to them its unlikely that this person will ever make amends for past biphobic tendencies because as everyone has been so quick to point out being bi doesnt excuse biphobia or homophobia or anything of the sort editors note heterophobia is not a legitimate issue im sorry if you feel oppressed for your straightness but really thats a you issue

here is one more screenshot where my friend basically covers what i have just said as well as reminding the world that the owner of nether receipts is a narcissist

being a bisexual person does not excuse you from saying biphobic things and there is literally no identifier you can use for yourself that exempts you from criticism for your actions and it doesnt mean that people cant demand that you address the wrongs youve done or said

you dont have to listen you dont have to do anything but dont be surprised if you say something shitty to a group of people and they get mad at you

also all that being said what orion said was not biphobic if anything he is raephobic but lets be honest who isnt ok there thats my one funny haha for you

we have every right to criticize someone who creates simulated cp and shares it with minors in 18+ servers or someone who equated bisexuality to voluntary sex work or someone who accuses people who disagree with them of being fascists or nazis or someone who goes out of their way to repost and edit art in a mocking manner or someone who actively claims to own a fandom like these are all critique worthy behaviors that all come from the same person who never explains their actions never holds themselves accountable for the shit they cause like we as people who share the same space as this person have every write to call bull roar when we see it

it is no secret that i dislike his person and it is also no secret that i will not hesitate to the the opportunity to drag them for being a shitty person whenever the opportunity arises and since their most recent beef with me was about how i was a bad friend i guess i figured this would be a good time to come forward for one of my friends who received dozens of harassment messages and several death threats over his commentary on the actions of this one vile individual

and i am addressing them now if they ever end up reading this or when it is inevitably sent to this person

if youve got a problem with the way he and i or other antis critique you maybe come out from behind your wall of dipshit cronies and talk to us your damn self i am very sick of having to deal with nasti or morgan or that one minor or suz or that person that runs the rp blog or any of the others in your little hoard im tired of them trying to be slick like we see you we see all of you

all of your simulated cp aside youve said some really shitty things that you could easily amend since youve likely learned more about what it means to be lgbt+ since it is now a community you see yourself being a part of

part of being human is learning from your past and making a better version of yourself for tomorrow and although i think you are a really awful person i dont think youre above self betterment and self reflection and self awareness

also you dont seem to care at all when threats are being tossed around by your buddies but no matter how much me or orion or any of the others dislike what you do no person in their right mind would be okay with sending death threats and you shouldnt either you should at the very least extend that courtesy

anyway

fuck you asker youre full of trash garbage and i hope you have a not so good day like i hope it rains or something invalidate my friends identity and ill yell at clouds

#discourse #harassment #sexuality discourse

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thesherlockianavenger · 3 years

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💙this is the Love SLAP Raid Chain!!!💙 send this to all of your favorite blogs that you think deserve to hear these encouraging words💙 in return we ask that those blogs send it to their favorite blogs as well💙 it’s december, everybody deserves to hear a few words of encouragement no matter if you're a small or big account💙 so let's all fill your dash with positivity these last few weeks of 2020 ✨ you are amazing ✨ you matter ✨ you are loved ✨ you deserve to have an amazing month💙

Omg thank u so so much

@superdoclock42 first off right back at u.

Then @captain-im-not-dead-yet and @johnwatsonismypatronus love u guys a lot. U keep tagging me in chain posts and I keep forgetting abt it but u don't hate me for that. So thanks a huuuge lot.

@i-only-speak-in-vines heyyy lots of love to u. @my secret santa thanks for making 2020 awesome for me.

@allegra-writes idk what I did to deserve u but I'm so so happy to have u. U r amazing and lovely and literally the best.

@draginfyre16 ilysm. U r one of the most amazing people I've ever known. U have helped me so so many times. Idk what I'd do without u.

@thelakehasabottom love u. U managed my stupid self soo good. And ilysm. U r the most cutest panda ever.

@lovelyburningfox idk if u r here a lot. But ilysm. And u have helped me out so so much. 💖💕

@alagiuli thanks a lot. Love u so so much. And we have to play that among us game.

@natty I don't remember ur blog name. But u r so good. And never ever change. And ily so much.

@anu I don't remember ur blog name either but u r a literal angel and I can't wait for the day we meet.

@chaotic-bastard-incarnate u r amazing and u r so valid and literally such a cute bean. Ilysm 💖💕💖💖

And all of the other people whose name I can't remember I love u guys so much. All of my mutuals u guys r so cool and awesome and I wish I could be as great as u.💖💕❤️

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dolphin-enthusiast · 4 years

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bună seara, dragă mea 🌹🌜✨ ahh i hope i wrote that correctly,, another romanian friend of mine taught me that haha, he teaches me romanian phrases in exchange for me teaching him bits of italian ☀ ah, so much to address no? well, i'll just start off by saying i wasn't expecting my friend to expose my problems like that,, i'm not mad at all, just surprised. let me first say that i am okay as of writing this. i have eaten and hydrated and have been taking naps all day, i am stable. (1/9)

"my older brother and other siblings have been taking good care of me, and two of my friends came to sneak me out of the house for a bit and bought me food. so i am fairly calm right now (2/9)

now then, about that person, it was just some texts i woke up to that caught me off guard, my friends are apparently planning to go after this person, even though i insisted on not making this a big deal, and frankly i didn't wanna worry you all either, i feel bad when i do. (3/9)

sadly i hear a lot of horrid things directed at me on a daily basis, so this is quite ordinary and there's not much i can do about it, i cope by trying to stay positive for others and be as kind/loving as i can since i usually don't have people to treat me that way, you're quite the exception, what i thought of as a stupid question blossomed into something i could never imagine, and i was shocked to see how everyone, including you, took to me quite quickly (and not in a joking way either) (4?/9)

i'm not used to it at all, so i mean it from the bottom of my heart when i say that everything you guys say and do means the world to me, i get overwhelmed with positive emotion when you all treat me so sweetly, i truly couldn't ask for anything more. that being said, i wasn't planning to open up about my mental health on this account (since i don't wanna talk about these dark subjects when trying to brighten other's days),, (5/9)

but i guess it's warranted now so hopefully you all can understand me better and not worry as much, i suffer from multiple mental illnesses, two different depressive disorders, an anxiety disorder, and body dysmorphia, some from genetics and others from trauma. i try to keep it on the down-low to not bring down anyone's moods, so i be as cheerful as i can. i'm professionally treated for it, so please don't fret. it really went downhill during the start of this pandemic and declined since (6/9)

i was absolutely miserable, and having dealt with many s*icid*l tendencies, self hatred, and lots of destructive habits, i was truly falling apart my sister introduced me to your blog sometime in january, and even though i did not have a tumblr, i still greatly enjoyed checking it everyday with her and requesting things from time to time, it's a nice escape from the world i live in, and after months of checking your blog, i decided to interact a bit more with that silly ask of mine. (7/9)

it really is a miracle that we formed such a bond, it's truly the best thing to have happened this year, i love having such a meaningful connection and getting to experience some positivity everyday i am completely serious when i say that you and the followers give me something to look forward to everyday, and you all have helped me to stay a little longer on this planet. i owe you all so much for that, so i still plan on popping up everyday to cheer you all up,, (8/9)

i could never thank you all enough, you all truly do mean the world to me 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗 i can't wait to come back tomorrow with something more lighthearted, so please keep being extraordinary, because i'd hate to lose connection with any of you - from the bottom of my heart and soul, with much love, your local waifu xoxo 💘 ps: i can't wait to hopefully meet someday morgy darling, there's lots i'd love to do, so that's another reason for me to stay alive a little longer 💞 (9/9)"

Dear this is quite alot so i'll just start by saying that im flattered u greeted me in romanian😳✌️ i dont wanna pull a ghiaccio but although dragă does exist in this context it would be more like "bună seara dragA mea" but it really doesnt matter bc my wig is snatched and i was n o t expecting this ddhxhddj

Trivial matters aside, you shouldnt feel pressured into opening up on here even though some things surfaced but you did it nonetheless and im proud of u bc i myself would rather y e e t than talk abt myself and personal issues🤡🤡🤡 but aNywAyS let me start off by saying that again, you shouldnt get used to horrid things being said to u. Its fucking tragic that u get treated like this meanwhile all u do is be kind and care for others, but them treating u like that is entirely THEIR fault and u should never feel guilty for it. And keep telling others if shit happens (including us if u want) since we're all gonna do some good ol' as whooping @ the ppl that talk shit😤👋

I wont reveal much but just so you know i completely understand what you're going through and felt what you described in ur letter on a spiritual level, although i know just saying "i relate" doesnt really help. Its unfortunate and unfair ur goin thru this and yes i agree the pandemic did only worsen things (even for myself) and its really shitty🗿🗿im glad u at least had siblings that took care of u and made sure u felt better in no time doe

As always seeing u say that me and my blog cheered u up and motivated u to go on truly is smth like...w o w i never expected any of this to have such a major impact on anyone when i first made this blog as half of a joke lmao hdhxxhdj but im glad it helped u and other ppl so that means i'll just have to keep on running it😳😳😳 you really dont have to thank us for anything since we enjoy brightening up ur day and i have to ageee it IS a miracle how all of this came to be but thats exactly why its goddamn wig snatching ahsydjdkf

Also bro to say u have another reason to stay alive just to meet me....😞😞 Take care of urself bro

#im so fucking terrible with talking abt issues and emotions skshxhxhx #but i never expected anyone to say they had a reason to live bc of me and my blog so it made me🗿#fr like i cannot comprehend fjdhdx #bruh u better hang on in there cuz we finna goin to the 40th dimension together soon😳#the confessional

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all-hail-the-witcher · 4 years

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2 years ago today i made this blog

and now im going to get sappy about it

“And they wondered how long I could keep it up / While I wondered if I'd ever, if I'd ever get enough / And I did some shit I never should've done / I would do it over now, I'd do it over

Shout out to the old me and everything you showed me / Glad you didn't listen when the world was trying to slow me / No one could control me, left my lovers lonely / Had to fuck it up before I really got to know me / All of the mistakes I made, I made, I made, I made / Whatever the price I paid, I paid, I paid, I paid / Shout out to the old me and everything you showed me / Had to fuck it up before I let you get to know me”

two years ago I created this blog. It was the summer going into my senior year of high school. I had planned to hold off making a tumblr account until I got to college, but on this particular night I said “fuck it” and made one. I told myself that I was doing it to see if people would read my writing. I hadn’t shared pretty much anything id written with anyone since middle school and at that point I was considering majoring in creative writing. I had just come up with the idea for spies and wanted to share it with people. I wanted to see if the people who told me I was a good writer were right.

and that's all well and true but recently i realized that there was another reason i made this blog: i was lonely.

the pressure of my senior year of high school made me crack. on paper i was the perfect student, honors societies and aps and college scholarships and all that. but as i trekked from college to college, audition to audition, and did my homework almost exclusively in the backseat of a car, i found myself breaking. to put it mildly, the 17 year old who made this blog was nothing short of an asshole.

unfortunately as a middle schooler i latched onto a fictional character from the mortal instruments: Jace herondale. Jace is an asshole, a terrible person who uses sarcasm as his defense mechanism and projects his trauma onto others. he doesn’t care who he hurts. he doesn’t let himself get close to people because he’s afraid he’s going to hurt them. throughout the series he eventually fixes himself and learns from his mistakes, but I didn’t want that Jace, I wanted book 1 Jace.

he tells this story in the beginning and he ends it with this line that has always stuck with me: “the boy never cried again and he never forgot what he’d learned: that to live is to destroy and to be loved is to be the one destroyed”

as my senior year went on i found myself becoming more and more like jace. i pushed people away, stopped talking to pretty much all my friends, and developed an aversion to using the word love. literally. i didn't particularly care who i took down with me or who i hurt in the process because i would be leaving for college and wouldn't have to see anyone ever again. real sound logic that was.

but i still had this blog, this stupid blog that i was never supposed to make. I had the fear of strangers on the internet burned into me as a kid, so I was very very hesitant to do much of anything on this blog except post fan fiction. but as I got more into the fandom, I broke that promise and I started talking to people. all kinds of people, in messages in asks in threads, it didn’t matter. and it made me happy, or as close to happy as i got. i loved talking to people on here, fic planning, posting about dumb shit, writing crack fics, just having fun. and then my blog started getting really big really quickly (something I never have and still don’t understand. what’s so cool about this dump of a blog? please someone tell me) and i found myself wanting to be a better version of myself online. I know it didn’t happen that way all the time. there were many times were I was rude or sarcastic or attention seeking or just a bitch in general on here. but this blog made me want to be better. I wanted to be the person people who followed me thought I was.

at points, this blog was all I had. it was weird, knowing there were people who followed me cared about me, even though I had never met any of them. and that strange feeling of wanting to keep going for my blog held me together for a long time.

obviously im no longer in high school anymore (and thank fuck for that). but recently I realized that I hadn’t actually changed and I was still the same shitty person I had become during the last year of high school, I’d just gotten better at hiding it. i didn't know who i was or who i wanted to be. it was daunting to begin to fix all my many mistakes irl so i started with this blog, making subtle changes on here, allowing myself to be more open, not as short with people, trying to avoid sarcasm all together. and once i was able to do that, it bled over into my real life.

its been a few months of that, and i think im finally starting to like myself as a person again. I feel like I’ve changed. I’m more comfortable with myself. I’m not as much of a bitch anymore. I’m not the person I was before, but I don’t want to be that person. I’ve found pieces of my old self along this journey, but I’ve also found pieces of my new self. for the first time in a really long time, I’m happy. none of that would have happened without this damn blog.

I never expected for this blog to become what it is. firstly, I never expected to have 856 followers. that’s so many people. what in the h e l l?? I never expected people to read a single fucking thing that I wrote. and people have. and they’ve enjoyed them?? that’s wild to me.

but mostly, I never expected this blog to slap some sense into my stupid self. I don’t know where I would be without this blog, and I can say that honestly. over the last two years it’s been an escape, it’s given me purpose, and its been a reminder that I can fix myself. its not the only thing thats helped me though this mess, but it’s been one of the major components. I’m not perfect yet, I know that, but I know I’m better than when I started this blog 2 years ago.

id also like to apologize to anyone on here that i was ever rude to, or hurt with anything i might have said or done. im sorry that the old me didn't understand or care what she was doing. ill do my best to make sure it doesn't happen again.

so thank you to everyone who follows this blog, who’s on my taglist, who’s ever sent me an ask or a dm, and to everyone I ever talked to on here. thank you for reading this mess of a post. it means more to me than you will ever know. i know i hardly ever get sappy on here, but i wanted you all to know what this blog has come to mean to me. I love you all so much. thank you for inspiring me to pick myself back up.

#the lyrics are from old me by 5sos btw #i felt like they applied #sheesh its really been 2 years #feels like forever and no time at all #wild #seriously thank you all for following this dump #im gonna try to post a fic later #if i finish it #i hope i do #also if you made it to the bottom thanks for reading this #its a lot yeah #im not looking for validation i just want to let you all know how and why this blog and the people who follow it mean so much to me

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sui-senka · 5 years

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The dumbest post

I think y’all should be here to witness the dumbest post I’ll ever make, as I’m not all about getting into discourse and that, and any other self-identifying Vergil lovers please come here:

@creepyscritches, @brasspetalsx, @fandomhell97, @breezeinmonochromenight, @kaldea88, @xalmasyx, @hornyangrybean, @noir-sorrow, @catspook, @xenontrioxide, @zilla-may-cry, @boobble, @vergilshusband, @tifaroni, @littlebluewraith, @im-a-clown, @genovaempera, @neodicronus, @thelessiknowtheworse, @thriilsy, @jestermania, @bunny-girl-sweetseek, @darka3363, @witchkiid, @45, @manadebutt, @magsamaire, @spaghetti-queerghetti, @clairexredfields, @204863-yunglynn, @yuri-subtext, @miss-soso-25, @josuke-kujo, @cameguisada, @trionfi, @glitteryhumanfiretrash, @lewdbunbun, @journalofsparda, @complacentdevil, @infernokid, @emogodmatthew, @brit-o-raptor, @salsa-and-chips, @gemstone-enema

I’d like y’all to bear witness, as I take down this bitch-ass clown. As I’ve blocked the person in question that I want to call out - please tag them into this post to have at them ;) Also - to the other people that didn’t get this, tag your mutuals and get them here.

I’d also like to announce that @thephantomporg84 is now masquerading as @derelict-stranger, and I got a few messages a few days ago about how she was gonna take down her account, and how she wants me to block all of you, which is ridiculous as you are all blogs that I have known and followed way before her and also I don’t know you either. I told her that I didn’t want to be involved in her drama, but here I am.

It’s kinda hard for me to make this post, as I genuinely thought that she was cool in the beginning - she helped to give me more DMC asks in my inbox, and she always reblogged my stuff, as I’ve been trying to make it with the big guys - like @myfairmidnightladyspade.

But I saw the stuff that she says online to you all, and I think I got some anon messages from her asking if I was a terf or not... and yeah - my heart broke. I feel like I have been deceived in some way. What I wanted to be there was someone who was cool, and funny to talk to, but turns out that person is petty, heartless, immature and straight up spiteful.

I may have to justify myself in why I got messages from her - I was only trying to console her, but to do it in a neutral way as I wanted no part in her drama.

Also - i’m probably not gonna show any evidence for how much she sucks cause there’s tags and anon posts dedicated to that sort of thing

I want you on tumblr, and you on Reddit to find her, and in the /v/ section of 4chan to block her and report her for all she’s done. I want you to wipe her existence from the internet until there is nothing left.

Now - I need to change the flow of the conversation by directing it to you, @derelict-stranger.

I’d like you to kindly log off, take a breather and think, for a second about the actions that you’ve done to the people that I’ve mentioned above.

I’d also like to tell you that your suggestion to block all those people above is complete nonsense. Why would you make me block blogs who have perfectly decent and awesome content, and to those who I have talked to longer than you? why would you make me block blogs who I don’t know? Quit trying to get me on your side. I want no part in your drama like I said before, and stop trying to manipulate me into getting me to give a shit about you.

I’d also like to tell you that your situation is entirely self-inflicted. That you trying to talk to me won’t work, the only reason that people are apparently “attacking you” - is because you, in fact, are the instigator, are the catalyst of all this hatred.

You - @derelict-stranger, lack any ability whatsoever to disagree well. From where I’m looking, all of this started because you don’t like Vergil from the Devil May Cry games and you don’t like the plot of 5, which seems extremely stupid to me, as he’s only a small-ish part of 1, one of the best boss-fights in 3 and just a mere mention in 4. The fact that you need to incessantly attack content creators who merely like him is stupid. Either keep those opinions to yourself, ignore them, or do my favourite -> stick ‘em up your big stupid ass.

It’s also stupid that when people merely like him - you have to bring in your own shitty opinions. No one asked you what you thought, and I’m pretty sure you’re actively seeking out fights with people just to feel good about yourself. It’s also super hypocritical of you ragging on about how much Vergil sucks, when you go crazy for Kylo Ren, as they share some similarities in terms of their vibes and traits. (Yeah - I see you asking for smutty Kylo Ren x Reader requests online.....) Why do you get pissy when people like villainous fictional characters - do your knickers

What I just want to know is what kind of personal gratification you get when you actively hate on a character, and what kind of gratification you get when just because someone disagrees with you - that you have to result using death threats, rape threats, pedophilia threats, racism, slurs, and ableism, transphobia, alt-right rhetoric, neo-Nazi shit, pro-Trump, and homophobic comments to content creators just doin’ their own thing. Is it just to feel like the bigger man, is it to make yourself sound smarter than the other person (Cause you don’t) - like what actually motivates you, what actually makes you want to shit on other people’s parades, huh? Sounds to me like you need to get a life.

The fact that you always need to play the victim is sad and pathetic too:

- That you’re on the spectrum: - Okay, there are a lot of people who are on the spectrum here on tumblr. But they don’t use it as an excuse to justify shitty behaviour especially if it’s unitentional. as I’m sure they and the people they know are. I’m sure they apologise and try to get on with life like how NT people do. As you know - a lot of people of the spectrum feel like they’re being treated as sub-human being babies that do nothing but screech all the time, and they’re taking action to change those perceptions. Your behaviours are not helping their cause.

- That you use depression as an excuse - I’m kinda sympathetic to the whole mental health issues thing. I have them too. In fact, I am a hot mess. But I don’t use that to excuse me hurting other people with intention, and I’m sure many others don’t either. At least 1/4 or 1/3 will have some mental health issues in their life, and yeah, it sucks, and it’s common but it doesn’t make them exempt from them being called out on their shitty acts. the fact that so many people are and can be mentally ill doesn’t make you special, and it doesn’t give you a free pass to attack others.

- The fact that you try to bait people into making anti-semitic comments, so you can call them anti-semitic. Dude, that’s low. I’m pretty sure that’s gaslighting and manipulation as well. You don’t get the right to use your religion/race in that way as a defence when you’re feeling attacked so that you come off a better person. I’m friends with many jewish people, and they’d never have the gall to do that. I know that your peeople have had it rough, but you can’t use that in an argument just to prove that the other one is a piece of shit, when it is in fact you. I’m muslim, a WOC, and ancestrally speaking, from a country that your so-beloved president essentially banned their right to seek a better life in the states. For as long as I can remember - I’ve seen news about my kind being universally hated, I’ve been brought up in a post-9/11 world where for as long as I can remember that me and our kind are the enemy (so I can sympathise) - but you don’t see me and other muslims here using those petty tactics that you use, because unlike you, we’re not myopic and we know that won’t get us anywhere.

I mean, this behaviour sounds bratty and childish - so I was thinking, she’ll probably grow out of it. Then I find that you’re in you’re mid-twenties, and I think “you really haven’t grown up at all, have you?”, and honestly it just makes the behaviour worse as you are resulting to middle school/high school tactics -> especially making me block all those people, calling them sociopaths and evil bitches. This ain’t high school or Mean Girls, moron, this is a fandom. A place where people can create, share, like and comment on content that makes you happy. I don’t think you understand what that means - cause all I see, and everyone sees is you spewing hatred everywhere. Fandoms are supposed to make you feel included, feel happy, feel safe, be a place to make friends. I don’t think you know that, and I don’t think you are even smart enough to realise that you are the reason why our fandom isn’t happy.

And honestly, at this point, the hatred you are getting is well deserved. You deserve to feel like shit if all you are going to do is make others feel like shit.

I don’t know what else to say but:

1. Get the hell away from our fandom

2. Get rid of your internet connection.

3. Get a life.

4. We don’t want you here.

5. You’re scum.

6. Go suck a dick, or flick a bean, whatever gets you off you troglodyte.

I liked you man, I really did. Then I saw how you treat others, and now I know I made a dumb life choice in making friends with you. If only you weren’t such a piece of shit, we could have been good friends.

I don’t want you here on tumblr. They don’t want you here. No-one wants or needs a toxic parasite like you on this website.

Yours sincerely,

sui-senka, who just sucked Vergil’s dick yesterday, and liked it.

#devil may cry #dmc #discourse #dmc discourse #honk off #thephantomporg84 #derelict-stranger #🤡

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sigmadolos · 4 years

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THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

Fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is: canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated? YES / NO

Were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO / EH KINDA

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO / SUBJECTIVE

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL / DEPENDS

How strictly do you follow canon? — Well , canon doesn’t give me much for Sigma so it’s complicated. I follow him knowiing the page , being a DOA memeber , and to a point his ability since the specifics have only been guessed by Dazai who Fyodor’s puzzled before but overall I stick with canon information but i do play and change with the whole falling from the casino and/or who encounters him after SINCE WE HAVEN’T SEEN HIM FOR SEVERAL CHAPTERS NOW. I’m not against AU’s , i have a discord only one with leshie sigma & fedya and its the cutest ;-;

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals. — He’s a casino manager of an aerial casino that’s untouched by the law and people generally have a very positive image of him , but he’s actually a creation of the page and a member of the terrorist organization the Decay of Angels. He has amazing memory , able to remember every patron and health / behavioral details from thousands , and despite suffering panic attacks , he finds the strength to do whatever it takes to protect what he cares about. He’s dangerous. He’s also a survivor of slavery and learned to be able to wear masks of his moods like seeming confident and calm even when he’s panicking. Also I write him being a mythology lover and that seems to be something my mutuals enjoy ? He’s my muse for sharing all my mythology info.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?). — You really don’t know anything about him , he doesn’t have any self value , and you will be subjected to those stupid baby jokes. He doesn’t have a combat oriented ability. He’s a Decay of Angel member, people either love or hate them. He’s not a main character . Good luck finding fanfic for him

What inspired you to rp your muse? — I don’t know, he just clicked with me. Also there werent a million accounts for him. I’m notorious for picking up side characters , although I ironically entered the BSD fandom with 2 of the most popular. I just took really well to SIgma and accurately predicted several things like being a page creation , detailed memory , lack of self value / purpose , and the silver eyes ( im still proud of that one )

What keeps your inspiration going? — Recently its been a struggle because not as many seem interested in him. But I’ve poured so much of my time and energy into creating his character and story , and he’s interesting to have other characters interact with. Sigma being a member of the DOA is NOT a well known if at all known fact by anyone. So the potentially for people to have no idea who he is while he knows all about them like Agency and Port Mafia is fascinating , esp when the muses find out.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO ( i hope ? )

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO ( somewhat ? )

Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO

Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO

Do you accept criticism about your portrayal? — I am. I prefer suggestions or more inquisitive questions so I can clarify something before someone comes attacking out of left field. But I am open to CONSTRUCTIVE criticism or suggestions.

Do you like questions which help you explore your character? — I LOVE LOVE LOVE questions. I used to get them when I started the blog , I don’t really get them anymore. Don’t know if its lack of interest or I’ve just...answered what people want to know.

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why? — I would be curious.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it? — I mean , I don’t know why they’d follow me in the first place if they don’t like my portrayal ? I’d be very confused why they’re following.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it? — ;-; jk I just shrug it off. He’s not really popular enough to get hate from what I’ve seen. He was sort of popular bc OH NEW CHARACTER like every time a new character appears , but his hype died just as fast.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors? — Go for it , sometimes I miss things and if they want to fix it they absolutely can !

Do you think you are easy going as a mun? — ...I hope ? I worry about bothering people 24/7. I literally almost cry when first approaching someone ooc. Its hard for me though I’m usually very chatty if someone approaches ME first. I’m very tolerant and open to people ! I love to chat and yell about muses ! But i worry about bothering or annoying people so i’m not particularly relaxed. I’m as anxious as Sigma is sometimes

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by; Stolen from @praevari ! Tagging; Swipe it ~ !

#ooc || a girl trying her best

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yetanother-ti-ne · 4 years

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Goodbye.

Do I need to say anything else?

I will though. I think the golden age of internet Cognitive Functions is gone. I came for thoughtful discussion, good posts, ideas, content. I don’t think its really present though. I don’t think that matters for me though, because I learned what I needed to learn.

But its still hard, because I think there’s more to learn, and honestly understanding functions the way I do is a lonely path- to whom can I talk to? Where do I go when I want to make a lame joke about Ni? or whatever function, for that matter- there’s really nobody in my actual life. Anonymity has its price.

Its that discussion, that connection, that I haven’t found, in the way I used to, anywhere else. Everything is just poopposts and memes. I personally hate it. Others seem to like it, look Im not against it, but it takes its toll on the community- you lose the authenticity and move towards astrology and buzzfeed test land. You lose the people who wanted answers, but now can’t find them in a community overrun by mediocrity. It’s just the truth. The individual hurdle of doing sincere research can’t be overcome without somebody to help, so if people are forced to make it alone and the guidance becomes more obscured- the result is self explanitory.

Look I don’t know this for certain but things aren’t like they were. But whether I’m wrong or right with this, I don’t really care, my point isn’t to soapbox, Its more just an explanation for anybody who might care enough to read this far in my post. For the over 1000 people who are following me, somehow, because there actually only seem to be a handful of people who actually see this.

And its not the attention or publicity, I think its just saddening for me- because I initially intended this blog as an authentic attempt to help spread good information. In hindsight, that was stupid, because nobody is going on tumblr for legitimate information, silly me, I should have known- but how things have turned out now is proof of that, I believe.

I guess its more of an expression of disappointment for my expectations of what I had anticipated. And the acceptance that for me, its time to move on. Sort of a declaration of defeat, that this whole, thing, blog thing, is dead. And also that in theory it was also maybe a bad idea from the start.

That doesn’t mean I won’t post again, or I’m personally done with functions. On the contrary, I think there’s more to learn, specifically in practice. And I also am considering transitioning to youtube. Its about time somebody made good videos on youtube. Michael Pierce is good, but he’s pretty lonely next to the other NT theorists, I don’t follow it enough to know the community. But... seems like a kind of mediocre thing you know.

I might not be permanently ‘gone’ per se, but this is kind of an unofficial official declaration that you may as well consider this blog inactive.

Not that it really matters though.

However, I will be posting about future updates, so you probably will hear from me again, in the event I make another project. Which, btw, I have a couple in mind. But for now, and with this one, yeah its done.

Anyway, this felt better rather than just leaving without notice.

If you still want to hear from me somehow, DM me. Otherwise,

Adios. Goodbye.

I apologize for the kind of emo post. I will be updating the blog for future endeavors I take, but don’t plan on keeping it updated/responding or giving that much attention. So it’s not a dead account, it’s just dormant, essentially- But I have a few things I’ll be posting rather soon, so to say it’s dormant isn’t quite accurate either.

At any rate,

Cheers. YAI

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