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seriouslysam8 · 3 years

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Hello, Sam!

I have just started reading your series Moments in Time that I saw Breanie recommended and I must say, it is absolutely wonderful so far!

Croup: This was not at all what I expected! I stumbled across this universe recommended on Breanie’s tumblr and thought I better start in order. PUH-Tunia really is a bitch! You can just see the abuse already inflicted on him and he’s only three! The mental anguish of a three year old being told he can’t have nice things because he breaks them can’t have been good for poor Harry! No wonder’s so unsure of everything later on. Yelling at him because he’s sick like it’s his fault! Im surprised she even gave him medicine! Wanting him to sleep outside in the “frigid air” and only deciding not to because the neighbours might see really says a lot about her personality. Ive never read anything from Petunia’s point of view before but well done. I hate her even more than before. I look forward to following this new adventure that is your moments in time universe. Great read!

The Boggart of Grimmauld Place: This was just so heartwarming! Harry getting to spend even a little time with Remus and Sirius at Grimmauld Place was what was missing from canon. Memories of his grandparents, learning about them. It was just lovely! When Harry is ashamed of wanting Sirius to embrace him a little longer my heart ached for that poor boy who never got to feel real hugs and affection. He thinks he should be ashamed for wanting to feel it and he shouldnt! I blame for petunia for that. I meant to say that in Croup how she touched his forehead to check for a fever and he flinched like he’d been expecting her to hit him. Poor poor little Harry. I love how you play on the connection here between Harry and Sirius and even parallel it to the Potters and Weasleys. Harry being surprised that he would be in Sirius’ will at all. Harry just being surprised that people care about him. Makes me want to just give him a hug! What abeautiful story! Thank you.

Hide and Seek: This was so fun! I love the thought of them all playing hide and seek in Grimmauld Place and everyone joining in! Remus and Tonks making out in the cupboard was the best! It was definitely my favourite part and Sirius just teasing them! Hermione thinking something happened between Harry and Ginny. I loved how Harry opened up a little to Ginny. You could see he was actually really comfortable with her in a way he’s not with people. Absently massaging her wrist, touching her. He was caught up in her without realizing he was caught up in her. Adorable! The second addition was wonderful! I love how Ginny just took control, loosening his tie, taking off his jumper… they are the superior couple! While I am a tad disappointed to not see them making out at the end, I loved this story. Thank you.

Seventeen: Wow! This was a story I didn’t know I needed. Harry and Ron lovingly admitting they’re brothers warms my soul. I love that touch of giving them matching watches! Was that canon? If not it should be. Mrs weasley feeling guilty over Sirius is so like her. She loves and cares for Harry as if he’s her own son and it’s wonderful to see. The last bit with Ginny was perfect! They definitely had to do more than the uninterrupted kiss and I love how Harry just basked in her. The end made me so sad! His heart breaking over missing her birthday, lost opportunities. Very beautifully done! These one-shots are amazing and I look forward to reading more of them. Thank you.

The Demise of Walburga Black: This was absolutely amazing! The image you crafted of them laughing like lunatics as they destroyed her portrait was awesome! What I like most so far about your writing is how you gently weave in Harry’s relationship with the Weasleys. I love the idea of George moving in with him and Ron, that Harry would offer his home to him like that. I love that Harry goes to Mr Weasley for renovation advice. I think its so hot that Harry would renovate the Muggle way (so sexy to see men in a tool belt and I’m going to assume he’s shirtless and sweaty). I love that it was Angelina’s idea and how you casually had Ron toss in that George and Angelina were already sleeping together. George not really being drunk, is that because he drank a lot to cope with Fred’s death? I think it is. Harry’s reaction to being caught by Mrs Weasley, how his guilt eases into pleasure that Mrs Weasley would call both himself and Ron George’s “younger brothers” and his glee in being lectured by her in a motherly fashion. And dont even get me started on the scene with Ginny! The way he gushed on his drunken ramblings about making a home with her and wanting to raise a family and her not wanting to get her hopes up because he’s so drunk! I laughed out loud when Harry said that drunk Harry wants to do dirtier things with her or something like that. Just wonderful all around! Where’s Teddy in this story? I know he lives with Andromeda in canon but I thought I read that you have Harry raising him. Ah well, maybe the next tale will answer that question! Thank you.

That’s all I’ve had time to read so far, but I just wanted to say thank you for writing such a rich and vast universe! I can definitely see why Breanie recommends you so much! I have a few questions if you don’t mind.

1) What made you decide to write a story about Harry’s early childhood from the point of view of Petunia instead of Harry?

2) Do you think Petunia and Vernon physically abused Harry when he was little? It’s fairly obvious he had psychological abuse, but do you think there was more?

3) Do you think Ron and Hermione knew Harry had never played childish games like hide and seek as a child? Do you think the others knew and that’s why they all agreed to join in?

4) When do you think Harry actually started to notice Ginny? Was it in his fifth year and he just didn’t realize or do you think it was later? There is the scene where she puts him in his place over the possession bit and of course when they get kicked out of the library together. What are your thoughts?

5) Was it canon that Ron and Harry have the watches of Mrs Weasley’s brothers?

6) Do you believe George could handle his alcohol better because of his age or were you insinuating he had become accustomed to the drink after losing Fred?

7) Where is Teddy when Harry lives at Grimmauld Place? From the summaries of your stories I got the impression Harry raised him. But I haven’t read any further so I may be wrong.

Sorry for so many questions, but I am curious. I look forward to reading more. Thank you for your time. You’re amazing and I love your work! Thank you.

I have been following your review journey and getting more and more excited the further you get into the universe!! I am going to try my damndest to answer all these asks you’ve sent today but I have an incredibly busy weekend, so it may take me a little bit to answer them all especially if you’re asking specific questions since I won’t have access to my computer a lot. So, I will answer all your asks, but give me the weekend because I want to give you the best and most detailed answers I can!

1.) Honestly, Croup and Brontide (I promise, no spoilers) are the reason I started this as a series. I mentioned Harry had croup a lot as a child in Brontide and then wanted to write a companion piece. I thought, what better way to demonstrate Harry’s childhood then telling a story through Petunia’s POv because she’s absolutely horrible. Plus, I didn’t think I could get into the mindset of any other POV for that story.

2.) I definitely think there was physical abuse as well. It’s indicated in the books (Harry knowing to dodge away from a frying pan or something). So, I do feel they did physically abuse him as well. He has a few scars to show from it.

3.) No, I don’t think they knew. Maybe some suspected it but not know. I think everyone was just sick of cleaning Grimmauld Place and wanted to do something fun. It didn’t matter it was a child’s game. They just wanted something to do.

4.) I think he started to like Ginny as a friend in fifth year. I think he started to notice her as someone more than just Ron’s little sister. I don’t even think he noticed how he felt comfortable around her in fifth year either. I like to think all the dots started to connect earlier than 6th year but Harry just didn’t know what it all meant. Then 6th year come and he’s like crap… I really her! But it was building, unknowingly, to Harry before then. Ginny had been slowly forming into her own person in Harry’s mind and he felt comfortable and liked what he saw. He just didn’t connect it romantically at that time.

5.) No, the watches isn’t canon. I wish it was though. Honestly, when I wrote it, I totally forgot they mentioned Ron getting a brand new watch in canon until months after I wrote the story.

6.) George was a bit of an alcoholic after the war. It’s mentioned more in-depth in Brontide. But he definitely held his alcohol better because he has been spiraling into alcohol abuse for months by that point.

7.) So, again it’s mentioned in Brontide, but Teddy lived with Andromeda for the first year of his life before Harry gained custody of him. Andromeda didn’t feel comfortable with Harry raising Teddy at first. Once she got to know him and see how much Harry cared for Teddy, she handed over custody to Harry so that Teddy could live a more normal life and have parents and siblings.

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midoriyaizukustan-inactive · 4 years

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everyone shut the fuck up and CONSIDER trans girl iida

she supposes she always knew unconsciously that there was something different about her but she never rlly put much thought into it until some ppl in the class come out as trans* (like aoyama’s genderfluid, tokoyami’s a demiboy, nd tsu and jirou are trans girls)

and as class rep, but also (and arguably more importantly) their friends, iida wants to make sure she can make them as comfortable as possible abt coming out so she does some research nd stuff. like she knew trans people existed and were valid nd such before but she wanted to get more than just the basic facts

and shes happy for her friends! shes glad they trusted their class enough to tell them, shes glad she can be there for them. but she also notices that she feels rlly...weird? and she keeps doing research just because.......its interesting. but she doesnt know why she finds it so interesting?? and she gets kinda insecure abt that

so she keeps diggin into it and reads posts that trans ppl have made abt their experiences and just classic shitposts nd all that. she thinks the community is great!! and also she finds some fresh wholesome memes to share w her friends so its all the better. right?

but eventually she finds a community of trans girls specifically and she just absolutely COMBS through that. reads every single post there that she can find. but coincidentally she also feels even more insecure now bc shes starting to unconsciously question her gender nd stuff and lets be real folks. an identity crisis is not fun

couple this with the fact that she doesnt experience the traditional dysphoria(tm) that other trans girls seem to universally share, iida gets rlly down abt it. nd it gets to the point she rlly raaaaags on herself for still lookin thro these posts nd stuff and still subtly questioning herself and shes just rlly unhappy at the time :[

nd she doesnt wanna like make tsu or jirou uncomfortable so she doesnt wanna ask them abt it but shes so confused nd frankly hurt and she doesnt know what going oooonnnn with herself

so shes just in this complete funk for a while nd it starts to affect her grades and performance in training. her friends know smths up but iida doesnt know how to even explain how shes feeling so its not necessarily that she doesnt WANT to go to her friends but she literally does not know how to. anyway eventually aizawa keeps her after class and is like “ok iida smths up im gonna call tensei if u dont talk to me”

iida feels absolute HORROR at the prospect of tensei somehow finding out abt this bc oh shit what if he doesnt want her carrying on the name of ingenium anymore??? what if he thinks shes a freak??? what if he thinks shes not really a girl and shes just faking it to be special?? what if- and oh shit thats the first time iida rlly consciously thought to herself “im a girl but what if others dont think i am?”

so she kinda bursts into tears and aizawa internally is like “oh jesus what the fuck” but externally hes like “iida?? r u ok?? was it something i said?? oh fuu- is something wrong with tensei??” and iida just kinda speaks thro her cries like “no nothings wrong with tensei something’s wrong with me” and ill be real folks its real sad girl hours for a bit

anyway iida doesnt rlly elaborate much beyond that bc shes so ashamed and embarrassed but aizawa is like “u’ve gotta talk to someone iida ur friends r worried and frankly i am as well” and iida eventually promises to talk to someone

soo she comes to terms that since she so confused it would be best to ask tsu and jirou abt it even if shes,,,,so v concerned,,,abt making them uncomfortable. but she manages to convince herself that she rlly does need some guidance here and better to ask ppl who know her than ask on the internet sooo

thankfully while iida is working up the courage to ask tsu and jirou to talk, she finds posts derailing terf and truscum shit so she feels. a lot lot better abt everything but particularly the lack of any intense dysphoria she had after reading stuff like that, esp the more verified(tm) articles from the more verified(tm) authors (like doctors and psychoneurologists and such)

so she figures out how she wants to word her questions nd asks tsu nd jirou to meet up. tsu nd jirou agree right away bc all of class 1-a is worried abt their class rep at this point :[ so theyre happy shes finally reaching out

iida is kinda a disaster when tryin to talk but she gets her point across. like “uhh this is a rlly bad way to ask but how did u guys know u were,,,trans?” nd tsu immediately catches on but jirou is only a lil suspicious until further into the conversation

anyway eventually jirou catches on the same as tsu and thats when tsu asks “iida do u think ur trans??”

nd iida is sooooooooo tired of feeling ashamed bc damn. she does think shes trans! she does. she shouldnt feel guilty for how she feels she cant help that. so after takin a moment to steel herself she says “yea” as confidently as one can in the situation

tsu nd jirou r immediately supportive nd ask iida for more details abt how shes feeling nd iida is just,,,so happy,, since shes already on an honesty streak that afternoon, shes able to roughly get her wack emotions into words nd tsu and jirou are like “yea thats valid ur valid iida. it doesnt matter if u dont have the trademark dysphoria or that u didnt know until later in life like ur still young. u say ur a girl, ur a girl” iida cries but only a bit bc damn months of agonizing over this. we stan one trans girl trio.........

anyway tsu and jirou ask her how she wants to move forward i.e. transitioning or telling anyone, and iida hadnt even considered transitioning before bc it felt so out of reach but shes absolutely ECSTATIC at the thought of bein able to look more feminine and it Shows. tsu and jirou r like “ok mood we were like that too right before startin estrogen”

so the first unofficial trans girl trio club meeting ends w tsu and jirou promising to help iida ask recovery girl abt hormones and iida sayin she doesnt want to come out just yet to the class/anyone else in general and tsu and jirou respectin that. i love them yall

anyway after a few months, iida is ready to try hormone treatment so tsu and jirou help her ask recovery girl for a meeting nd r moral support for her while they go thro the process of like figuring out what dosage she should start w/, how long should she take it, when a check up appointment should be, if recovery girl should tell iida’s parents yet or nah, all that stuff. anyway after that, recovery girl gets her started on hormone treatment which iida is SUPER EXCITED abt and tsu and jirou tell her stories abt when they first started estrogen and AHHH I LOVE MY GIRLS SO MUCH FUCK

anyway eventually after some support from tsu and jirou via the unofficial trans girl club meetings and getting back on her feet confidence-wise, iida comes out to the class :,,,]]] theyre all super supportive and iida cries just a bit. tsu and jirou r so proud of her. aizawa is just glad his problem child #9 is feeling better

ashido and yaoyorozu get together and take iida shopping so she can have more feminine clothes which iida has a lot of fun w......shes never been necessarily big on shopping before (even if she is a part of the rich kid’s club lmao) but this trip is so EXCITING and ashido and momo r so happy for her and so ESCATIC to help her find some clothes and just oh my heart.......

the girls also have a sleepover during which they indoctrinate iida on all things traditionally feminine like makeup nd hair so that she knows the basics should she ever wanna mess arnd with that stuff. but also they just have fun doin normal things and just include iida in on being one of the gals nd iida is,,,so happy. tsu and jirou in particular r arnd her the whole night and wow my uwus they own them the unofficial trans girl club owns my uwus-

anyway so coming out and being accepted and transitioning is going so much better than iida thought it would be. she feels so safe and happy im crying.....anyway eventually some time later iida also gets permission to visit her family during a long weekend/short holiday w/e. nd while there she shakily but steadily comes out to her fam ofc her parents r so proud (her mom’s like ‘’ive always wanted a daughter yes!!! ily tenya’’) and tensei loves her all the same nd she cries a lil bit bc damn,,,,,,shes been fearing the exact opposite reaction for months

specifically she talks to tensei abt it for a little while and mentions her particular fears abt not being good enough to carry on the name “ingenium” nd he smiles at her nd is like “i would rather no one else but my little sister to carry on the name of ingenium” and bruh shes absolutely floored

nd yea. midoriya and uraraka absolutely love love love iida shes still their absolute fav. she joins the unofficial class 1-a trans* club as well as accidentally forms the unofficial class 1-a trans girl club. we love her,,,,

but yeah thats it. this post is so fucking long but oh well. stan iida!

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holylulusworld · 5 years

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The morning after - Part 1

Summary: Reader wakes up next to the Winchesters…naked. Like always - after the fun there will be consequences.

Pairing: Dean x Reader x Sam, Castiel

Warnings: language, implied smut, smut (flashbacks), unplanned pregnancy (wrap it kiddos!), angst, sad reader, jealous reader (a bit)

The morning after Masterlist

Waking up your head feels like it got hit with a baseball bat. Your mouth tastes like whiskey mixed with the taste of someone else’s tongue.

Flinching you realize you’re completely naked and your whole body feels exhausted.

Turning around you see someone lying next to you…naked. God what did you do last night?

Trying to figure out who lies next to you, you tilt your head. Oh god…Sam…Sam is laying next to you…a naked Sam.

Ashamed you turn around only to see Dean on the other side of the bed…naked too.

Fucking shit what did you do last night? According to your soreness and exhaustion you assume you had sex … with both men.

Hiding your face in the palms of your hands you try to calm down. Your mind is racing and your head is spinning. God how did you end up in bed with your hunting partners?

The hunt…whiskey…a lot of whiskey. Trying to focus what happened last night you close your eyes.

You drank with the boys and then you played... oh fuck Dean suggested strip poker. You remember Dean won; of course he won that little fucker.

You were left in your underwear. You remember kissing Sam to at least keep your panties…

You remember Dean kissing down your spine…then…nothing…blank…

Fuck what did you do? Groaning you take a deep breathe … Maybe you didn’t fuck them?

But the sticky feeling between your thighs tells another story…oh god you didn’t use protection? Shit, shit…you’re on birth control…but shit!

Wait did you take your pill yesterday? Oh god, did you?

Whining you try to remember but all you can remember is Sam eating you out…fuck he was good at it! Focus, Y/N, goddamn focus!

But the next thing you remember is Dean switching places with Sam and shit his cock … fuck … so deep inside of you. Groaning he fucked you into the mattress.

Focus…did you take your pill? But your mind is busy showing you Dean and you moving in sync while Sam is watching and shit you came so hard and then…no, no…then you fucked Sam too. Awesome!

He was even bigger and rough…shit Sammy was rough. You never thought he would … fucking shit focus! Did you take your pill?

Whining you try to remember anything useful, but all you can see is Sam and Dean fucking you in the best way possible.

“God what did I do? Fuck!” You mutter.

“Correct Sweetheart!” Dean chuckles.

“Dude! Not so loud!” Sam groans.

“What did we do?” You whisper.

“We had fun last night.” Dean answers.

“Dean we crossed a line!” You mutter.

“Sorry but you were so hot and half naked…” Sam groans kissing your shoulder.

“I think I need a shower.”

“All three of us.” Dean chuckles wiggling his eyebrow.

“Not a chance, I can’t remember much but I’m beyond sore.” You scold.

“What a pity. Maybe we should make you remember?” Dean groans before kissing you roughly.

“Did one of you use protection?” You ask.

“Shit…not.” Sam stammers. “Dean?”

“Fuck…no…we were too busy…shit. Birth control?”

“I’m on pill but I can’t remember if I took it yesterday.”

“Wait you swallowed a pill before we drank whiskey.” Sam says and you sigh relieved.

“Thank Chuck!”

“So shower all three of us?” Dean insists.

“Dean I’m sore and maybe we shouldn’t do this again…” You whisper.

“But you had fun too.” Sam whines.

“I barely remember the fun! I was beyond drunk…”

“You said you want us … both.” Dean insists.

“I can’t remember.” You lie.

Jumping out of the bed you almost run into the shower.

“Do you think she regrets last night?” Sam asks sad.

“No, she lied. Can see through he façade. She’s a bit ashamed I guess.”

2 weeks later

Watching the boys flirting with another chick you feel anger boiling up your stomach. They fucked you and told you you’re something special and now they… well after the fight the morning after you guess Sam and Dean aren’t interested any longer.

Sighing you watch them until…oh god…Why is your stomach rumbling? …shit… Running into the restrooms you say goodbye to your dinner. What’s wrong with you?

Since over a week you feel exhausted, your stomach rumbles and…oh no…god, please no.

Leaving the bar you storm toward your car. There was a drugstore nearby the motel.

After buying a pregnancy test you drove back to the motel. Starring at the positive test in your hand you start crying. Sitting on the bathroom floor you don’t know what to do.

“No, no.” You sob.

“Hey, what’s up Y/N?” Sam asks concerned. You didn’t realize they came back too.

Sobbing you show him the positive pregnancy test.

“You’re pregnant?”

Nodding you start crying. “Don’t cry, maybe it’s wrong.” Sam tries to sooth you.

“Hey, whoa what did you do Sammy?” Dean grunts.

“She’s pregnant.”

“Baby, don’t cry. Does the father know?” Sam asks.

“What? I don’t know who the father is!” You yell.

“So many guys?” Sam asks again.

“No! Only you two in the last two years. I didn’t have sex with someone else! How can you think … I’m not a whore!” You sob.

“I thought you’re on birth control.” Sam says.

“I am and you said I took my pill.”

“You see…I’m not sure.” He stammers now and Dean eyes widen.

“But you said you saw me taking my pill! If I would’ve known I could’ve taking plan B!” You yell at Sam.

“I’m sorry. Didn’t want to kill the mood, so I lied.” Sam admits.

“Great! Now I’m pregnant and got no clue who knocked me up!” You grunt. Starting to cry again you can’t stop the tears from falling down. Honestly you always wanted a baby, but not like that.

“Hey, we’re going to fix this.” Dean tries to sooth you.

“Fix? A baby ain’t a car!” You grunt.

“Do you want to keep it?” Sam asks softly.

“I don’t know…” Sniffing you wipe away the tears. You already made your decision seeing the two blue stripes.

“You want to keep it - right?” Dean says smiling.

Humming you look at the test again. “Don’t worry I’ll leave the bunker. Still got my old hut.” You whisper.

“You won’t leave pregnant with my baby.” Sam orders.

“Minutes ago you thought I fucked so many guys that I don’t know who the father is.” You snap at him.

“Hey Sammy didn’t mean it that way. Let’s bring you home. Castiel can check the baby and we make an appointment for an ultrasound.” Dean whispers. Picking you up he carefully places you on the bed.

“I should leave. You two don’t want a baby with a one night stand.” You whisper.

“How dare you calling the mother of our child a one night stand!” Sam scolds.

“But that’s the truth. You were head over heels for the chick at the bar. I was just an easy lay for one night, nothing more.”

“We weren’t head over heels. She was a vamp. Killed her outside the bar.” Dean explains.

“Oh…” Casting your look down you play nervously with your fingers.

“Let’s drive back to the bunker and Cas checks on you. Tomorrow we’ll make an appointment for you to see a doctor.” Sam says softly.

“Okay…”

Smiling Sam picks you up to carry you toward the Impala. “I can walk Sam.” You scold.

“No, you didn’t feel well.” Placing you into the backseat Sam sits next to you.

“Lay in my lap, I’ll stroke your back. I read that this can help a pregnant woman relax.”

“You read an article about pregnant women?” You ask giggling.

“Always be prepared.” Sam states.

“Not always…”

“Sorry, this is all Dean’s and my fault. We were too hot and bothered … too eager to finally be with you to think straight.”

“I decided to drink so much and if I remember right I kissed you first…well to keep my panties.”

“But in the end you lost your panties too.” Dean says chuckling.

“Not funny Dean.”

“Come one Y/N it was funny. Now I’ll drive us back and then we make you feel comfortable. But first Cas will check on you.” Starting the engine Dean looks in the rear view mirror at you smiling.

“We don’t know who the father is.” You whisper.

“Doesn’t matter. We are the father, both of us. So don’t worry, we’ll take care of you and our baby.” Dean states not excepting any argument.

Back at the bunker Dean drags Cas out of his room to check on you.

“Cas please check on Y/N she’s pregnant from one of us.” Dean pleas.

Smiling Castiel touches your belly. Closing his eyes his features darken.

“We’ve got a problem. There are two babies. Y/N is pregnant with a new vessel for Michael…” At this words Dean starts smiling and Sam sighs disappointed.

“…and a new vessel for Lucifer.” Castiel ends his sentence concerned.

Sam looks at your stunned form, hugging you tight he can’t stop smiling. You’re going to have his baby and well Dean’s, but you’re going to have a baby with him.

“Oh god…two babies?” You whisper scared.

“Shhh…we’re going to make this work.” Dean tries to sooth you. Gently stroking your back he locks eyes with Sam. Nodding Sam let go of you so Dean can hold you tight.

“How can Y/N be pregnant from both of you?” Castiel asks confused.

“Well…we…had sex together.” Sam blurs out.

“Oh…I see.” Turning crimson Cas casts his look down. “We need to keep her safe. Not just the demons will be after her, the angels too.”

“She’s our girl, the mother of our children. We’ll make sure she’s safe.” Dean states holding you even tighter.

“We kill everyone who tries to come close to her.” Sam adds. Kissing the crown of your head he smiles again.

“Wouldn’t it be better if I just leave…”

“No.” Dean says tighten his embrace.

“But we only had sex as we were drunk!” You insist.

“I wasn’t drunk and Sammy only had half a whiskey. We just…we know we shouldn’t have taken advantage of your drunken state but we always wanted you.” Dean rasps.

“Oh…you wanted me?”

“Always…we just agreed you’re off limits, but when you kissed Sammy and then me we couldn’t resist any longer.”

“Do you want to do it again?” You ask biting your lip.

“God, yes.” Sam groans behind you.

“Then we should do it sober this time as I want to remember every detail...”

Forever Tags

@donnaintx, @screechingartisancashbailiff, @fallen-wolf22 , @curly-haired-disaster, @sister-winchesters99, @mogaruke, @the-is13, @helloitsmeamie203, @strayrosesbloom , @thewinchesterco , @hobby27, @kittycatlover18

#SPN #spn fanfic #winchesters one shots #sam winchester #dean winchester #dean x reader #sam x reader #dean x reader x sam #sam x reader x dean #implied smut #smut #pregnant reader #castiel #unplanned pregnany #fluff #angst #the morning after masterlist

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spoopy-queer · 4 years

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my life has kind of exploded in the last 15 hours. im only just now alone even tho i kinda feel like i shouldnt be but i mean i should be ok for a few hours before i have to go to group. i basically had a major panic attack and ended up talking to my dad on vid chat for four hours till my mom could come get me. i havent really talked a lot to him lately so it was weird at first to admit how ive fucked up lately and need help to straighten things out and make a plan. ive just been kind of “meh”-ing life lately and during that amassed debt i dont know how to handle at all and cant really pay my rent anymore. well i cant. i only paid some with help but my shit has reached a point where last morning i either had to tell the truth and show my fuck ups or just give up on life. and im at least at a point where i dont want to give up. i want to be at a place again where im genuinely excited for things and have some passion for the things i do. lately i barely feel a spark with anything. so im going to be couch surfing the next month or more. theres always a bed at my grandmas for me but she lives in the next town over and thats like an hour to drive from there to the city center where my group therapy takes places. i feel really ashamed and hate how i just let things stew i guess till i had no other choices. dont really know what the next two months are gonna be like. i might have to move to my dads in spain for a month to just kind of get away tbh. i dont know why im writing this and posting but sometimes in the past ive vented on here and its somehow freeing to just let it out before i tell my friends. like hey uh ive been doing bad as you guys know but yeh its kinda worse than ive been letting on. also is it ok if i could crash sometimes on your couch or steal a shower? i feel more at ease tho, ive already started packing and will prolly finish tomorrow. and my dad is going to help me make a deal with my loans to pay them off slowly. according to him i should have it under control in a few months. ugh im so tired and need to shower badly. things are very up in the air rn but hopefully ill have a solid plan in a few days. this is also just a reminder to myself i can ask for help. and i should. it sucks having to but im just in a place where i have to. for even small things like my sister or mom is going with me tomorrow between stores to get boxes for my stuff cause i dont think i can by myself hahah.

ok im going to shower now. try to sleep, go to group later, answer my messages that ive ignored the past day and continue packing.

#ineededtoventsorry #idkwhy #iliketoventontumblr #itjustweirdlyhelps

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jrbalufbfnzl · 3 years

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I slept late yesterday n woke up at 9h30 bc my mom ws spamming my phone. I have to text wishes for my fam bc their granddad died and go to the pharmacy. Slept from 1 till almost 10 and didnt feel tired when i woke up. Ill try n b productive today im gna take my pills n walk the dogs. I also have to finish mty sisters drawing n listen to all her memos

I need to cut my hair i cannot stand the sensation

Thinking about having more tats n being anxious bout it for some reason

Ill try to be strong n turn away from food and hopefully as well ill be able to exercise but no food at ALL today sounds grear to me but no pills and no sleeping all day bc it ruins the mood

Didnt wake n bake but didnt meditate, im lazy to meditate thismorn. Been hanging on my phone for a lil more than an hour so ill just go out n do my stuff now

My dogs off her medication today i hope shell getbetter i cannot deal w the stress of her having a chronical serous disease.

I scratched my ears until they bled n couldnt hezr well yesterday

UPDATE : i managed to walk yhe first dog and fed both of em. Im waiting for my pills to kick to walk the second one. It was a struggle to get something non triggering to eat and im trying to wait as much as possible to eat. Days are fucking short anyways and ill xhabge my password and lockdown uvereats to not order some tonight maybe. Ill try and sleep early and stay strong and also get ready to see peeps and maybe feel a lil bit better but also i wanna stay alone. I cried a bit bc im ashamed to be so paralysed at 25 time is running fast and hezlth as well and the fall could be terrible idk. I felt anxious to walk both of the dogs at the same time or evenbto vring them to the parc or go to the pharmacy even tho its 5mins away n its kind of a nice walk. My stomach and intestine hurts tho. I hope ill manage to go to the pharmacy n exercise today n shave my hair n meditate and finish my sisters drzwing. Its not that much

UPDATE 2 : its 30 to 7 and i managed to cut my hair and walk the two dogs once. I feel zncious about walking them a second time but ill make it feed them then take them out.

My best friend made a post sayin that knowing otger people dezl w the same stuff as her is rezsuring so i ferl less guilty of "making it about me all the time" bc thats rly not what im trying to do and my bf told me i wzs incapable of listening so i guesd it fucked up my self apreciation.

Sometimes i feel like my bf is the only thing in his world and i also feel like its giod for him but at the same time i feel like im wrong znd im the one taking toi mych space. I have 0 sense of whats real and whats not and as soin as im thinkin ab smth that is not invalidating to me i kind of gaslight myself into thinking otherwise znd remarks my bf made repeatedly in the past arent helping. I have to finish my sistets drzwing walk the dogs n exercise. Today i felt anxious multiple times and wasnt really able to get out of bed. I didnt meditate first thing in the morning either whoch i shouldve. Im gonna try my psycholoist tomorrow to take another apt bc i missed the last one. I feel like a failure. Good thing is im not hubgry at all bc of aderall and stress so thats cool. Ill try ti go to the pharact tomorrow as well but even thibking about livin another dy and having stuff t do makes me rly anxious i feel incapable of having a routine.

Update 3 : did the drawing, hate it and i dont have my mind up to that. Esp sibce the dezdline is so close and i feel like my sisters work ethic is so abusive and self centered that i just dont have fuel to turn her idea into smth cooler and add detzils or a personal touch. I just dobt want to experiment w it and i hate doing it and it shows. I walked my first dog for the second time fed them both gave the last pill to my second dog abd im about to walk her out now. I feel shitty about my day.

Today my ideal me :

Wouldve woke up meditate exercise and took care of the dogs in a whistle withiut thinking to avoid building up unecessary anxiety and have the drawing done by thr end of the morning and went to the dog park and pharlacy afterwards anf make music.

If someone saw me from an outside perspective :

I think they would think that my depression is quite invalidating and that im just letting myself down completely

Today i did :

Nothing consistent but i feel like i did my best within my possivilities and i went above my lack of motivation to draw and rakr care of the dogs

I felt :

Down empty and dead anxious and tired.

I ate :

Two biscuits and a bubble tea

Tomorrow i'll :

Try to meditate and exercise and feed the dogs and get ready for what its worth and go out a little abd go to the pharmacy abd call my shrink and try to get sum weed even tho i shouldnt but the anciety is too much

Im grateful for :

Having the strenght to write stuff down znd maybe itll be the start of a routine

My shrink being so lame she accepted that i get surgery

The dogs remiding me that i rly shouldnt br like my parents and helping me reflec and remember on abuse and stuff

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heypesi · 6 years

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Terminal.

Hi everyone. Sorry it’s been a while since i’ve posted on here but tbh, i really wasnt sure what i wanted to post. I had a few things in my mind and i decided on this one. I really want to advocate and bring awareness to HD and i dont think there is any better way then discussing it first hand.. this is my HD story.

Now, in the dictionary neurology means “ the science of the nerves and the nervous system” and terminal means “ situated at or forming the end or extremity of something” now, combine that. The science of nerves and nervous system that is forming the end. This is exactly what i thought when i was told i had HD. I will discuss in a later post my experience of finding out i had HD but today, i really want to focus on how it feels.

Really take a second and think how it would feel to be told “you have a rare terminal neurological disease that has no cure” Right there, i can pick 3 major points, rare, terminal neurological, and no cure. Again right there. How would you feel? Would you feel sad? scared? alone? mad? angry? or maybe all them? i want to tell you, in that moment of hearing those words, you feel numb. you feel nothing. after hearing those words you blur everything and everyone out around you. I remember hearing her say those words. Going in, i assumed i had it but for it to be proven, i, i went numb. I sat there and stared. Eventually a cried but tbh i dont know what i was crying for. After finding that out and the numbness starts to go away for the time being every worry you have ever had comes into play, your whole life, your future, everything hits you at once. You feel alone. you feel as if your life is worth nothing. you feel numb. Numb is a word that i will repeat alot because with it being almost a year since finding out, i still feel numb.

I remember leaving the appointment and being in the car just thinking about my life. Thinking do i want to continue it. thinking is it worth me going to school or trying to be apart of different things. i think is it worth getting up every day. It is worth being in my daughters life because i may have given her HD or that she is going to have to watch me turn into this new person. Is it fair to stay with the love of my life and to know this man that i love more than life itself will have to take care of me until im gone. it is fair to my parents and siblings that they will have to watch their daughter/sister turn into a new person. I thought a lot and i still do.

I watched a video on facebook the other day and it hit me close. the woman in the video was from Canada and she said something along the lines about how her mother was “trapped within her own body.” it scares me.

I am so scared. As i write this, i am crying because i have no idea when or how this disease will hit me. As i write this i am thinking about everything i do and worry is that the HD coming. I trip, i stumble over my words, i forget something, i act out and say something i regret. i want to let you all know living with HD and worrying about HD is a full time job. You worry that everything you do or say is the HD coming.

I am scared out of my mind. Who wants to completely change as a person? who wants to be trapped within themselves and not be able to do anything about it? who wants to know their minds, thoughts, feelings, emotions, are still there but your body will not let you show or express them.

Im scared.

I worry every single day, every second of the day for me. Thats only for me. I worry every half a second for my mom, my dad, my siblings, my boyfriend, my daughter, my future kids. I worry.

I want to live a normal life. My boyfriend and i made so many plans to grow old together before finding out about HD and i know unless a cure i will not be able to be apart. I feel like my whole life is paused. I feel like although my boyfriend loves me and wants to be with me that he deserves to live the life we planned with someone else. I dont think its fair that because of this terminal f****** disease that my life may be over before i know it.

I am so hopeful for a cure and i advocate every single day but in the back of your mind its hard to be hopeful because you dont want to be disappointed if it doesnt happen. I... i’m so thankful for the friends i have made through HDSA, NYA, HDYO and i do what i do everyday for them. They give me the strength because they are the only ones who know exactly what i am going through and i do not have to be ashamed. I get strength from the support of my friends and family because i know they love me and want to support me no matter what, even if i feel like they shouldnt.

Terminal. Why does terminal have to be such a strong, cold word. Why does just saying terminal want to make you cry. I hate that word. But, i know there is hope and every individual in the HD community is amazing and i want to let you know what i am doing, why i dont give up, why i dont let myself stay on the ground when i have fallen or wanted to give up is because of every single one of you.

#cureHD #huntingtonsdisease #Curehuntingtonsdisease #WTFisHD #NYA #HDSA #HDYO #thefight #keepfighting #hopeforacure

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itdisneymatter · 7 years

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Day 01 - Magic Kingdom

Instead of a summary this time around, I'll try to sum up the day in a few words and sentences with a TLDR (too long; didnt read). Mostly to save me from repeating myself too much but also means you can skip on me droming on about nothing.

So the TLDR for today: Magic Kingdom. Custom t-shirts. Magic Bands. Really worth it. Got a good few rides in and hit 2 out of 3 of the mountains. Went for lunch at Belle's castle. Hot, hot, hot. Seen the 3pm parade. Missed out on a few rides but we'll get them in on a return. Everyone really enjoyed it and kicked the holiday off really well. Didnt hit dinner till late. Caught in a thunderstorm on the way home. Soaked.

And now...

First things first, or is that now second. Anyway, I may have missed one or two details in my less than awake state which had an impact on todays events. We had planned, all going well, that we would head to Disney Springs (previously Downtown Disney) to get some Magic Bands - a watch-y thing that replaces your park ticket making it easier for Fast Passes and the like. With all the delays and the tiredness of yesterday it just wasnt a thing we were able to do. Ah well, best laid plans and all that. It meant however that we now had to try and pick them up when we hit the park today, pushing out our plans slightly.

Some of us got personalised t-shirts made up (with our name and a specially selected Disney character), so today was a perfect opportunity to wear them. We skipped on breakfast, and didnt have any bottled water to make a coffee (normally eek but ok for this morning, strangely). Not too hungry anyway so headed to my mum and dad's hotel to pick them up. They are in the same hotel as my sister, so its really convenient as a meet up point as my brother was picking them up in his car and its between both of our hotels. We were pretty spot on time for it being the first day so off we set for Magic Kingdom.

Parked up and within five minutes we stumbled upon a wee gift shop that sold Magic Bands - woohoo! They have different colours and design so Ann picked up a nice wee 45th Anniversary Limited edition number. Patrick went for Sorcerers Apprentice (to match his tshirt.) Robert went for Up (to match his tshirt AAAND favourite Disney movie). Grace went for Orange Bird, who is a wee orange bird (funnily enough) who used to appear is old, Disney animations. We picked up a cup one time on the first visit to Disney (in 2013) and that cup had Orange Bird on it, and Grace has had an affinity with the character ever since. I went for Aladdin. Mum and Dad picked some funky coloured bands and we headed off to the park entrance. Spotted some of the other party (the ones in the second car) in their custom t-shirts so sped up to meet them just in time to board the ferry to the Magic Kingdom entrance. Tshirts already coming in handy with finding peeps, so colour matching tees in the way to go for future outings I think! Ferry was lovely and all of the kids were getting really excited.

So me trying to Facebook Live the Magic Kingdom entry was a complete and utter failure. I didnt even know how to start the thing - I should be as ashamed, calling myself a techie. Though I did get slightly reprimanded taking my phone out as they had a no selfie policy at security, prior to going in. He had a gun, so I pretty much did what he said and put my phone away. I fell back on my trusty Go-Pro (that I havent used since last time, but how hard can it be, right?). Video to follow as my laptop is ancient and I can barely run wordpad nevermind a full 1080p video clip.

Full of smiles we headed in and once we stocked up on some water, a first visit badge for Emily and the others picked up their magic bands, we had 20 minutes to get to to our first fast pass - Splash Mountain in Frontier Land (good job I knew the way :P). Bypassed some rides as well as an opportunity to get Dole Whip (marked down on our initial plans), but we made the ride with 5 minutes to spare - phew!

Magic Kingdom Mountains 1 & 2... check!

Splash mountain. All of the family (save for my Mum, Alessio and Isabella) hit up the ride and it was AWESOME! Grace was quite panicky so was a little clingy (even though she'd been on it before) but Emily and Corrie both first timers absolutely loved it. And for our efforts, our first family ride photo! :D

Then we headed to Big Thunder straight after - ended up riding on my jack jones which was arite though as I go pro-ed the whole thing (our party's reactions, not the ride itself). We did also get a video for our memory maker which we have never had before but its a really fantasticly amazing this to have (even if the photographers does make you hold invisible fairies and set you up in a variety of cheesy poses).

On a role, we then hit Haunted Mansion, It's a Small World (GG's personal fave), Mickey's Philharmagic AND Peter Pan all before lunch. Not bad, for running an hour or so later off plan.

Be. Our. Guest!

Due to availability and a LOT of pre-planning, our wee family were the only ones booked in to Be Our Guest today. We said our goodbyes to the rest of the party and after arranging a meet up point and time we set off for a now, very much needed, lunch. We decided on some really nice menu choices, including a monster Grilled Cheese Sandwich and Barbequed Pulled Pork. The guys also got the infamous "Grey Stuff" for dessert, which seemed to be the kids favourite course of the day. However the star of the show for me was the French Onion Soup which was sublimely awesome (I'd eat this every day and I'm really really not a soup guy!).

We caught back up with the rest of the party after lunch just in time for the 3pm parade, which was only listed as a might-do due to time so really impressed we managed it. Time to get the zoom lens out! :D A side note on cameras - last time we were here I opted to take a reasonably good performing compact camera instead of my main SLR, for accessiblity purposes. While it was good, I always missed the feel and added control of my main camera, so this year its the exact opposite - Im gonna be a packhorse. Quality over comfort! The parade was really colourful and with the smaller kiddos were put up on shoulders so they had a perfect view (however I must add, its quite difficult to take quality photos through a 70-200mm lens mounted on a 5D with a flashgun, I'll have you know).

After cycling through most of the main Disney Princess movies in the Parade (except Frozen, which was kinda dissapointing, mainly as *I* wanted to see Elsa), Mickey and Mickey signed off the show to resounding cheers and waves and applause.

ROARRRRRRR!!!

A little time to go before our last listed Fast Pass of the Day - Seven Dwarves Mine Train, so we queued up for Enchanted Tales With Belle beforehand. The main premise is that kids (and some adults), volunteer to get chosen to reeact a little scene with Belle. For one of the main roles, The Beast, kids must roar their loudest and Grace got chosen! (though I shouldnt really be surposed by that). She was all chuffed and kept saying her and Robert had switched roles from last time with Robert now playing the part of the mighty steed Snaggleforp, or whatever the horses name is (its late and and I'm not going to google Belle's hor..., right fine... its Phillipe). Patrick, Robert, Corrie and Emily were also picked to be part of the show. Even Kevin was picked as a Knight in shining armor - which he played brilliantly (mostly it was about standing still, but still, brilliantly). They all got presented with a little bookmark as a small token, at the end for taking part.

By now, everyone was feeling a little drained so decided after Seven Dwarves that we would head for home and grab a bite to eat. We are going to be back at Magic Kingdom at least one other time when we can prioritize Tomorrowland, so everyone was on board. Seven Dwarves, I ended up on my own again after having lost my little sidekick Gracie (who opted out of the ride). I didn't mind though as I had my Gopro already to go again. I was slotted in on the first seat with a lady, who immediately asked my name and introduced herself (as Martha?... maybe, it was loud and after two attempts of saying 'what' you just need to go along with it). She just started chatting away all through the ride. In fact, just today loads of people just started up full blown convo's with me out of the blue - I mustve been rocking a approachable/chatterbox vibe in my backward facing hat and camera loadout. Those of you who know me, know me as anything but (listen I try, but I'm the first to admit I'm pretty terrible with words and interesting conversation at times). That being said, it was great to chat with so many different people around the world and just goes to show how friendly and amazing this place really is.

A wee cheeky ride on the Speedway for a few folk, a quick tee shirt pic in front of the castle and we headed home.

An absolutely amazing day with Splash mountain being the clear favourite for most of the kids. And although we missed out on a section or two, we still got loads of rides in and everyone was content with general flow how the day. With everyone on the same wavelength I think its gonna make this holiday a really magical one (sorry for the being soppy, Im getting tired, but we're nearly there).

Thunder and Lightning, very very frightening.

Michael & Sarah-Jane decided to grab some dinner and get an early night so we said our goodbyes for the day. We headed out to the shop after getting back to the hotel to grab so Beers and water (in order of priority obvs), as well as a few other bits and pieces. We then met up with my Mum, Dad, Kev, Pauline and Emily to go for a bite to eat (I just realised I havent formall introduced everyone in the party, Ill get around to that tomorrow, promise). With it being a Saturday most places were pretty packed and after checking out a few places (unsuccessfully), we ended up in Johnny Rockets (which Robert pointed out was where we went the second night the last time after failing to find a place - kids memorys are scary at times). We got seated but the service was SLOOOOOW! I can fault our waitress too much though, she brought me over a freee refill pretty much as soon as I finished my first drink. It instantly reminded me of Steve Buchemi's in that infamous Diner scene at the beginning of Reservoir Dogs...

Mr. Pink: Look, I ordered coffee, alright? And we been here a long *bleeping* time and she's only filled my cup three times. When I order coffee I want it filled six times.

Ok, so it wasnt six times, it was one time, and it wasnt coffee (mmm coffee, I really shoulda went with coffee now that I think about it), but it was the single good thing about the service and one that warranted the tip even if it didnt meet Mr. Pink's stringent tipping criteria.

I actually haven't had an appetite since those prissy little sammiches on the plane. Even at Belle's castle and I wasnt particulary hungry even when we sat down at Johnny Rockets. But hey, do they mak a mean burger! Opted for a Smokehouse, which included some Bacon-y goodness and crispy onion rings - good stuff and nearly worth the wait, nearly... but then again it was a long wait. So the whole experience was fairly ok but then it took a big huge nose dive to round off the night...

When we left the restaurant, its was bucketing it down. I know coming from Scotland we should be used to a little rain, but this was torrential, and we got huge flashes & bangs of thunder and lightening thrown in, in good measure. Big Rain as Grace so eloquently put it (shes just brilliant with words). Our hotel was right across the road, which was handy, but we had to leave the other guys to struggle to their hotel which was pretty much a mile away :(

Ok, I'm delivering this really late and have no time to edit so apologies, I must try harder during the day in future. The images are also taking an age to download, so might not have all the ones I want in by the time this goes up, though Ill try to add more later in maybe a weekly slideshow or something. See you tomorrow for Day 02 - Epcot which will which will likely being unofficially subtitled - Battling The Storm!

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