Tumgik
#im not sure exactly how this au goes but ive had this bit stuck in my head for forever
yeehawpim · 5 months
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What is the will of a god to my hunger?
If you dare reach between my jaws trying to wrench Companionship and Happiness and Life from them, I will bite off your hand and swallow both.
Continuation of this au I have no name for lol
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neo-shitty · 3 years
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toffee!
hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)
YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults
ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)
hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)
> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy
back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious
no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.
yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)
YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.
hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!
hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?
wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?
no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying
<3 w.a. 🐺
sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;
yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.
i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.
abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.
anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://
HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*
i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.
i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.
it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.
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softtofustew · 3 years
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an odyssey | afterword
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rating: T
pairing: Hwang Hyunjin/Han Jisung
summary: Somewhere in the galaxy of the Stella Primum, Lieutenant Han is the best fighter on his team, a real ace shooter, with five gold stars to show. Too bad Second Lieutenant Hwang is not only great at battling the Ordinem, he’s also got disgustingly perfect looks to match, and now Jisung’s stuck in the same spaceship with him for possibly the most impossible task of their lives. Or the one where a rivalry is brewed across the skies and stars, until Jisung realises what there is to flying beside Hyunjin on a mission to save the galaxy.
if you haven’t read it yet, read here.
this is an afterword to ‘an odyssey’, where i write about the origin of the story, the characters, and my struggles of writing :’)
(i) The Origin
I’ve had this work in my WIPs since, believe it or not, January of this year. I’ve had this idea for so, so long. I wrote it intermittently throughout this year, with a scene or two in September, then October. 
Due to my exams, though, I couldn’t write as much as I wanted to. That’s why I only really started writing ‘an odyssey’ back in mid-November. The good thing was that I had more time to plan this out, because frankly, this is perhaps the heaviest fic I’ve written in terms of plot so far. 
I can’t for the life of me remember where this story idea planted itself in my head. All I knew was that I like space AUs, I adore Hyunjin and Jisung’s friendship, and I love enemies to lovers. Realising there weren’t any fics out there that combined the three, I knew it was my time to shine. Or something. 
(ii) The Plot
The plot was the trickiest to pull off. I’ve written an urban fantasy here and there, but I’m pretty sure if I reread them thoroughly, I’m bound to find a couple of plot holes. 
There were a lot of elements to cover: the Prophecy. The five gems. The push-pull relationship between Jisung and Hyunjin. The journey to discovering the whereabouts of the last Gemma. The last boss fight with a Governor who could wield the Force. There was!!!! So!!!! Much!!!! Going!!!! On!!!!!
Perhaps if I reread ‘an odyssey’, I might find another plot hole or two; who knows? For now, though, I feel quite contented with this work of mine. Considering it’s my first time writing something as long as this (50K+ are you kidding me?), I feel this is a first step for me to continue expanding my horizons when it comes to writing, to continue to challenge myself to write something different, something bold. Something new.
(iii) The Characters
I rewatched the Two Kids Room and One Kid Room episodes so many times, over and over again. There’s a reason why this story is centred around Jisung and Hyunjin, and why it’s written from Jisung’s perspective.
Their relationship is, after all, something coherently interesting. They really said “enemies to friends but make it irl”. I guess I took that concept and sort of exaggerated the extent of their ‘hate’ for each other, which isn’t exactly hate to begin with. The further you read on, the more you’ll realise that they don’t exactly hate each other — they just got off on the wrong footing, and have never tried turning back to start over once more.
It’s written from Jisung’s perspective because personally, I wanted the story to be told from the eyes of someone who was prideful, who was eager and determined, and who wanted to show his worth to everyone else. I feel like perhaps I didn’t expand on characterising Jisung to the fullest advantage possible, though, which remains a slight regret of mine. 
Another reason why I wanted this to be written from Jisung’s POV is because we can find out how Jisung feels about Hyunjin throughout the story. When he realises whose son Hyunjin is, he’s torn between wanting to pity Hyunjin and keeping things between them the same as they always have. (If I were in his position, though, I don’t know what I would have done lol.) It was hard to try and interpret his emotions, but there’s that.
Someone commented once asking if we’d ever get Hyunjin’s POV. Sadly, one of my biggest turn-offs is the switching of POVs in stories when it’s not entirely necessary haha. As much as I would want to know what Hyunjin is thinking when they’re arguing, or when they’re fighting, I like to keep on the suspension line. It gives you the feeling of immersing yourself as the Jisung in the story, of only seeing things from one perspective. 
As for the other characters, there wasn’t enough time to expand on all of them (for example, I mentioned Seungmin several times throughout the story, but really, he speaks only once haha). And as your fellow StayDay, it was definitely fun for me to include a few members of Day6. (please don’t ask me why I thought of ‘PJ and Honey’ while writing. I was probably hungry.)
I don’t know if I’ll continue to expand on the characters in this same universe, but it would be fun to think of the other relationships, for example Chan and Felix, or Changbin with Minho and Seungmin. (someone please save the seungbinho tag!!!!!!)
As far as characterisation goes, I’ve still got so much to learn. For now, though, I hope you enjoyed the dynamics between the characters and how Jisung and Hyunjin learnt to grow within a span of six chapters.
(iv) The Writing Process
Granted, the writing bit was a little easier in the beginning, but as I delved myself deeper into the story, I found it harder and harder to express the emotions I wanted to deliver in the story. One of the hardest chapters for me to write by far was the last chapter. I wrote two versions of the last chapter, simply because I felt the first version was too lacklustre for the ending of such a long story haha.
I had a clear outline of my story, but I did end up extending it from the initial 5 chapters to 6. For the first time, though, I didn’t add any random elements to the story, unlike how i wrote this story last year haha. The lesson I’ve learnt is that I should ALWAYS have a brief outline of the plot — detailed enough to cover the entire story, but brief enough to give me some creative freedom mid-writing.
The excitement of writing honestly wore off near the last few chapters. I’ve realised the importance of reading unfinished works in this way. Writers really need some form of motivation to keep them writing their chaptered works. So if you’re one of the real ones who started reading this even before it was completed, kudos to you. I really appreciate it.
Overall, writing this was fun. Hopefully I don’t need to do this again though; I absolutely hate writing chaptered fics because of all the time and effort put into them. I’d much rather be a ‘One-Shot Hotshot’ lol.
(v) The End (?)
I left a bit of wondering for the readers in the last chapter. If Atkins was able to wield the Force despite the false pretence that there was no longer any Force-wielders left in the universe, how many more of them could there be? 
That leaves an opening for me if I ever wish to return to this alternate universe sometime in the future. The Universe is ever-expanding, and so is our imagination.
(vi) The Inspiration
Obviously, I need to thank Star Wars. I also need to apologise because I absolutely butchered their universe. Fun fact: there was one huge plot hole I had to cover up halfway through writing. 
If you’re observant, you might remember the scene where Hyunjin asks Jisung why they didn’t just jump into hyperspace to reach Ilsanis. That’s because I was watching an episode of The Mandalorian where the Mando was forced to fly a ship without a hyperdrive engine, and I almost freaked out right there in the middle of the living room realising how weird that would be if I left the issue unattended in my own work (yikes). 
Long story short, I drew elements from the Star Wars universe and created a story of my own. I’ve been asked how I came up with the idea of the Prophecy. Frankly, I don’t know. My brain farts sometimes, I guess. Brain Farts = weird ideas that somehow make sense sometimes.
(vii) Lastly
If you have any more questions you’d like to ask (or plot holes to tell me about *shudders*), do leave me a question in my CC, or holler at me on Twitter (I’m hardly alive here on Tumblr haha). To anyone and everyone who has read ‘an odyssey’, I thank you.
This year has been a funky year, and even worse, it’s the year I had to take my IGCSEs. Writing has always been a way for me to create my own universe and release my tension and emotions, so not being able to write as much as I used to was a little tough. 
Writing will continue to be a medium for me to express my emotions and my thoughts while creating stories of my own, so simply by giving my fics a read, you’ve already fuelled my reason to continue to write. Thank you for all the support in ‘an odyssey’! 
(why did i write this entire monologue like i’m giving a speech at the Oscars or something lol im so dramatic :”))
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lenniewip · 4 years
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Unknown (A Sterek Wrong Number/Celebrity AU)
11.09 PM Unknown Number
>I’m writing songs about you again.
11.20 PM Unknown Number
>its stiles btw.
>in case you deleted my number
>I did.
>I mean I deleted yours.
>but I still remember it apparently
11:41 PM Unknown Number
>I only have 2 lines so far
11:57 PM Unknown Number
>I bleed you from my veins.
>I grieve you like I love you.
>alone.
>its better with the chords.
>u were always better at writing lyrics than me
12:34 AM Unknown Number
>u were better everything than me
2:00 AM Unknown Number
>I hate that I miss you
2:07 AM Unknown Number
>do u want to hook up?
>I promise not to propose again
2:15 AM Unknown Number
>im sorry.
>ignore me.
>im drinking
Derek blinked bleary eyes. His phone screen was the only source of light in his room, as he read through the flurry text messages.
What the hell is a Stiles?
2:17 AM Unknown Number
<I think you have the wrong number
>Lydia?
<no
>oh thank fuck
>I mean
>I’m sorry
>for disturbing ur sleep
>but im just glad I didn’t drunk text my ex all of this
>bullet dodged right?
>is this what near death experiences feel like?
<I wouldn’t know.
>of course
>hey
>seeming as I have you here can I ask you a quick q?
>all my friends are asleep
<probably because its 3am
<everyone’s asleep
>2.39
>and ur not
>asleep that is
>so?
>I’ll take your silence as a go ahead
>what do you think?
>of the lyrics
<im the wrong person to ask
>never experienced heartbreak?
<no
<all song lyrics just look like bad poetry to me
>oh
>yeah I guess it does
>not everyone can be Rupi Kaur tho right?
<do you want to be rupi kaur?
>sure
>not to be dramatic or anything
>but
>I want to be anyone but me
>think id rather be someone like regina spektor tho
<regina spektor?
>singer/song writer
>shes my fucking inspiration
>her lyrics are like poetry to me
>you should listen to her music
<I dont really listen to music
>what the fuck?
>are you an alien?
<no?
>nice fucking try ET
>thats exactly what an alien would say
<…you got me there
>akdjfen
>is this you admitting I was right?
<no
<but this is me going to bed
<because its now 4AM
>already?
>fuck
>ive got an early start tomorrow
>good night random stranger
>and thanks
>for listening
>or reading ig
<good night
//
“You’re late.” Laura frowned, arms crossed.
“Are you going to let me in?” Derek grumbled, still feeling the affects of having stayed up until 4AM the previous night.
Laura didn’t argue she just stepped aside to let him through into her flat. “You’re grumpier than usual.” She noted.
“Didn’t sleep well.”
Derek hated the look she gave him then.
The look that said he was broken. The look that said she wanted to fix him.
“Is…Is it the nightmares again?” Laura’s voice dipped to a whisper, like the question alone would be enough to send him over the edge.
“No.”
An awkward silence defended over the two of them, neither knowing what to say.
Derek clung to the silence like a blanket, wishing things could go back to how they used to be. Back to when they knew how to speak to one another.
But this was enough.
It was enough to know that they were both trying. Failing. But trying.
//
2:40 PM Laura
>I’m here if you need to talk.
//
Derek isn’t good at art, but sometimes it’s the only way he can express himself. Words had never been his forte.
So instead he doodles.
Shitty toddler level doodles that he never shows anyone.
Sometimes he thinks if he could bring himself to show Laura she would like it. Maybe she would even understand it.
But there was a bigger chance that she wouldn’t, and he would feel even more like a stranger to his own sister than he already was.
//
10:18 PM Unknown Number
>I don’t remember it anymore
<You have the wrong number again
>No
>This is ‘not Lydia’ right?
<right
>So here’s the thing.
>I always thought if I needed to text her I could
>And I thought maybe I got her number wrong because I was drunk
>But I can’t remember it anymore
<Oh.
>I have some of her things still
>I don’t think I’ll ever get to return it now
>Unless she messages me first
<When did you two break up?
>Last year
>and I know what you’re thinking
>’it’s October’
>and I should be over her by now
>Trust me I know
>So you don’t need to lecture me
<I wasn’t going to
>Oh
<Stiles?
>That’s weird
<what is?
>I forgot I told you my name
<You should throw away the stuff she left behind.
>you’re right
>I don’t like it.
>but you’re right
>…thanks
<What for?
>for listening
>reading**
>my friends are pretty sick of hearing me complain
>so this is nice
<sure
<anytime
>dope
>no take backsies
<am I going to regret this?
>for definite
>you’re stuck with me now
//
That night Derek saves Stiles’ number as ‘Bad Poet’.
//
Stiles keeps messaging after that.
Stiles messages like they’ve been friends for years, and Derek very determinedly does not analyse why it is he always responds.
Even when there are messages dated from Laura from three days ago that he hasn’t even been able to bring himself to open yet.
He also ignores how when he’s messaging Stiles the gaping pit that had made residence in his chest feels just a little less inescapable.
//
Derek can’t bring himself to tell Stiles his name. He can’t bring himself open up, even though there’s a large part of him that wants to.
He’s not above admitting he’s scared.
//
Derek draws Stiles sometimes.
More accurately he draws a vague pair hands texting on a phone, because he has no idea what Stiles actually looks like.
Derek refuses to let himself dwell on that though, because they are happy drawings.
The pictures of Stiles are pretty much his only happy drawings right now.
//
They don’t always talk about Lydia.
Sometimes Stiles messages Derek song lyrics he’s working on.
Other times it’s memes, or just a bunch of emojis.
Once Stiles had just messaged him what Derek could only assume was a list of everything he had eaten that day.
Sometimes Stiles messages in rambles - and Derek can’t always keep up with the boy’s run away thoughts, but even then he never feels lost the way he does when he’s trying to interact with literally anyone else.
And sometimes it’s 2AM. Those are simultaneously Derek’s favourite and least favourite texts.
//
2:02 AM Bad Poet
>sometimes I feel like too much
>and too little
>at the same time
>u ever feel like that ET?
<not really
>its like I’m infinite, and meaningless
>like a never ending echo
>or a recurring decimal
>I just stretch on and on forever but theres no point to it
>I have no depth
<youre not meaningless
<you’re a rhythm.
<like breathing
>…
>was that a regina spektor reference?
<it might have been
>I thought you didn’t listen to music?
<well someone said her lyrics were like poetry
<so I thought I would check out a few songs
>well fuck
>what did you think?
<she’s good
>you spelt ‘amazing’ wrong
<I still prefer poetry
>of course you do
Derek stared at the texts an ache filling his chest.
Derek was the opposite of infinite. Everything he touched turned to flames.
//
10:30AM Bad Poet
<my sister bought me flower seeds
>I didn’t know you had a sister?
<she’s everything I have
>oh
<and I think she’s trying to trick me into therapy somehow
>…with flower seeds?
<yes
>you sound extremely paranoid
>maybe therapy wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world for you?
<shut up
>noted.
>keep me posted on how your gardening goes
>also
>as a side note
>you know you have me too right?
>if you ever need to talk or anything, I’m right here for you
<thanks
>anytime
//
On Derek’s birthday Laura insists the two of them spend the day together, and Derek knows better than to argue.
She buys him a cake and they spend hours sat next to one another silently. Two strangers desperately trying to keep hold of one another but with an ocean dividing them.
Once their family had been so alive.
And it was all Derek’s fault that was gone.
They both knew it.
Sometimes Derek wondered if Laura hated him as much as he did.
He was too scared to ask.
//
That night Derek chased the ache in his chest away with a drink.
And then several more followed.
//
1:14 AM Bad Poet
<seh haars me
>sorry bud, you’re going to have to try again
>try spell checking before hitting send
<she.hates mee
>who?
<larn
>are you drunk?
<yeh
<tyongs ndrf
*Out Going Call: Bad Poet*
The phone rings twice before being picked up. “Sorry. Stupid keyboard is so small. Impossible to type.” Derek mumbled, his words slightly muffled by his cheek being pressed into the sofa cushion.
“Wow. You’re really sloshed huh?”
“No.” Derek denied. “Just tipsy.”
“Right. So what was it you were trying to tell me? Someone hates you?”
“Laura.”
“Who’s Laura?”
“My sister.”
“Oh.”
“She looks at me like she wishes she could fix me.”
“That doesn’t sound like she hates you, bud.”
“She should. I can’t be fixed.”
“You’re right, because you’re not broken.”
Hearing Stiles say that Derek could almost believe it to be true.
“I mean it. You’re not broken. You’re just a different shape than you used to be. But the shape you are now is beautiful.”
Derek closes his eyes and lets the words wash over him. “Do you sing?” He finds himself asking.
“What?”
“I know you write songs, but do you ever sing?”
“Oh…” Stiles sounds uncomfortable. “I guess… Yeah. I do.”
Derek hummed in the back of his throat. “I bet you have a nice voice.”
“Th-thanks.”
Derek tried to say something else, but all that comes out is a yawn, which makes Stiles let out a jittery laugh.
Derek tries to memorise the sound of It, but it’s so fleeting, it’s already slipping away from him.
“I think you need to go sleep, ET.”
“Yeah.” Derek agrees.
“Goodnight bud.”
“Wait.”
“Yeah?”
“Could you stay on the phone? Just for a bit longer.” Derek clutched on to the phone like if he could grip tightly enough it would make Stiles stay.
I don’t want to be alone. The words die on Derek’s tongue.
“Sure.” Stiles didn’t hesitate. “Of course.”
“Thank you.”
Sleep pulled at Derek’s consciousness, unravelling his grip on reality.
“Stiles?”
Stiles hummed in answer.
“Your shape is beautiful too.”
A small whimper came from the other end of the phone. “Thanks.”
//
7:50 AM Bad Poet
>how are you feeling today?
<better
>good <3
Derek holds his phone tightly and wishes that he had more to say. Just to keep the conversation going.
He also wishes (not for the first time) that Stiles was more than a faceless entity on the other end of the phone.
But it’s the first time he feels the want like a physical ache in his chest.
Derek had never been good with words, but if Stiles was here in front of him Derek would probably give him a hug.
But everything Derek touches eventually dies, and a larger part of him is relieved for the distance.
//
Derek plants the seeds his sister got him that day.
//
9:48 PM Bad Poet
>would it totally weird you out if I wanted to do another phone call?
>don’t feel like you need to say yes
>I just enjoyed talking to you
>and hearing your voice
>ugh.
>why are words so hard?
<I wouldn’t be opposed to a phone call
*Incoming Call: Bad Poet*
“Hey.” Derek feels breathless as he answers the phone, anxious excitement clawing it’s way up his throat.
“Hey.” Stiles sounds equally out of breath, and that helps.
Derek chews on his lip, scrambling for something to say. “What did you want to talk about?”
“I don’t know.” Stiles admitted. “Anything.”
“Helpful.” Derek said sarcastically.
“I mean. There’s one thing. I didn’t want to ask when you were drunk because it felt a little like taking advantage. And I don’t want you to think you have to answer-”
“Stiles.” Derek interrupts before Stiles could break into a full blown ramble.
“Tell me your name.” Stiles breaks. “Please.”
Anxiety grips his heart. But… he couldn’t stay scared forever.
“It’s Derek.”
“Derek.” Stiles repeats his name in a reverent whisper, as if committing it to memory.
And hearing Stiles say his name makes everything worth it.
//
Phone calls become a regular thing between the two of them over the next month. Always between late in the evening and the early hours of the day.
//
The next time Derek spirals he doesn’t drink before he calls Stiles, but he does cry on the phone.
The next morning he wakes up to a text from Stiles.
6:42 AM Bad Poet
>you need to talk to your sister
And Derek knows he’s right.
//
It’s not easy confronting Laura. He has two separate anxiety attacks on the walk to her apartment alone.
But he forces himself to take the dive.
“It’s okay if you hate me.” He tells her, even though it’s not okay. Laura’s hate might be the only thing in the world that could break him beyond repair.
Laura looks horrified as she stares at him. “I don’t- Obviously I don’t hate you Derek.”
“It’s my fault that they’re gone.” Derek addresses the elephant in the room.
If he hadn’t fallen in love with Kate.
If he hadn’t broken up with her, just to try and prove a point when she refused to say ‘I love you’ back…
There never would have been a fire.
Their family would still be here if it wasn’t for him.
“Fuck that!” Laura let out a harsh noise. “Derek, none of this was ever your fault. You were a kid, and even if you weren’t… You never set the fire.”
“I might as well have.”
“No. If anyone… I was your big sister- am your big sister. But I was so fucking wrapped up in myself. I didn’t even know about Kate.”
The last time Derek had seen Laura cry it had been at the funeral, so it took a second to fully sink in what he was seeing.
He found himself crying to.
“I’m so sorry, Der.”
Derek stumbled forwards pulling Laura into a crushing hug. Laura hugs him back just as tight.
They spend hours refusing to let go of one another.
//
He realises he fell asleep on Laura’s sofa when he woke up to the sound of his phone ringing. But he had no idea where it was, and he was too tired to move.
He feels Laura moving and the sound of the phone ringing gets louder before cutting off abruptly.
“Hello?”
“No - Derek’s asleep.”
“Maybe call at a more reasonable time?”
“Who is this?”
“Your voice sounds familiar.”
“Right.”
“Okay. Bye.”
Derek let sleep over take him once more.
//
2:29 AM Bad Poet
>sorry for calling so late
>you’re asleep so I’ll just take to you tomorrow
//
9:07 AM Bad Poet
<sorry, I was really tried
>no worries man
>you’re allowed to have a life outside of me
<was something wrong?
>no I was just bored, and didn’t realise how late it had gotten
>im fine
>how are you?
<im good actually
<I spoke to Laura
>yeah?
>I’m proud of you
>how’d that go?
<we both cried
<a lot
<and I ended up falling asleep on her couch
>look at you, opening up and shit.
>think I might cry now
<shut up
>literally never
>better men have tried and failed to silence me
//
2:40 PM Laura
>Want to see a movie on Friday?
<sure
//
One night Stiles calls Derek just to say his name in stupid ways, and laugh himself stupid after each one.
“Duhreek.”
“Doreck.”
“Fuck. I’m getting a stitch from laughing.”
“You’re so fucking dumb.” Derek is smiling as he said it.
“Deeruk.” Stiles wheezes out.
Derek just closes hie eyes and listens.
“I’m so fucking glad I know you, Stiles.” The words fall out of Derek’s mouth without much thought.
He only realises the weight of his words when Stile’s laughter pulls to a stop.
“I uh-” Stiles stammered. “Me too. Fuck. You’re the best thing to happen to me in…so fucking long. I’m glad I know you too Derek.”
//
Derek finally admits to himself that night that he’d fallen at least a little in love with the stranger from the unknown number.
//
He keeps trying to draw Stiles, but he can’t. Vague shapes just don’t cut it anymore.
He wants to map Stiles out with his eyes and translate it onto the page.
He wants to be able to see the smile behind the laughter.
He wants.
//
1:58 AM Bad Poet
>do you think you day we’ll actually meet?
>maybe not intentionally
>maybe one day we’d pass each other in the streets and not even know
>maybe we already have
Derek couldn’t imagine a scenario where he wouldn’t notice Stiles.
<is there ever a moment when you’re not talking?
<I think id recognise your voice and know it was you
>maybe your face would make me speechless ;)
<I think id still know
<but if you want to be sure… I could send you a picture?
<of me
>dkfajd
>for reals?
>you would do that?
>you?
<well…not for free
>there’s always a catch
>what do you want?
>my soul?
>a blood debt?
>you can have whatever it is
<I meant you’d have to send me a picture too
<geez stiles
The next text takes an unnervingly long time to come through.
>I could do that
>a photo for a photo
>I kind of look like shit rn
>so no judging me
Derek spends the next two minutes fussing and fidgeting to take a good photo. No matter what angle he took it from the bags under his eyes were noticeable, and so was the week’s worth of stubble he had yet to shave off.
And maybe this was a terrible, awful, idea.
But Derek would send one hundred bad pictures if it meant getting to see one of Stiles.
He forced himself to press send on the last picture he took.
As he pressed send another photo came in.
Derek’s fingers shook as he hit the button to download the image.
His heart stopped.
Stiles was beautiful in every sense of the word, and Derek found himself unable to look away. Even when he heard the small dings of incoming messages.
But he couldn’t ignore them for long, because it was Stiles. And when ever Stiles messaged Derek had to answer.
>Fucking hell
>are you for real?
>you gave me a heart attack
>am I being catfished right now?
>when do you think you were going to tell me you’re the most fucking beautiful man to exist ever?
>how the hell to you look like that as 2AM!?
>Derek
>oh my god
>you gotta respond my dude because I’m freaking out a little bit
>still there?
>did my selfie scare you away?
>I would have tried harder for a nice photo if I knew I was talking to an adonis
>Derek?
<still here
>of thank fuck
>so…
<so?
>come on
>your going to give me a complex
>the selfie…was it okay?
>I know it’s not much
>but we can’t all be greek gods
<its beautiful
<you’re beautiful, stiles
>oh
>thanks
//
Derek is so far gone that he makes the picture of Stiles the home screen on his phone.
//
9:49 AM Bad Poet
<Laura wants me to meet her boyfriend
<this is all your fault
>how is this my fault?
<because she never wanted to introduce us before
<and then you got me to talk to my sister
<and now she wants me to meet him
>…and this is a bad thing?
<yes
>because?
<I don’t make good first impressions
<it’s going to be awkward
>yeah probably
<you’re not helpful
>I wasn’t trying to be ;)
>have fun, Derek!
//
Meeting Laura’s boyfriend wasn’t as awkward as Derek thought it was going to be. But it was strange.
Derek hadn’t been expecting to meet someone so soft and kind. He was nothing like any one that Laura had dated before.
But he also wasn’t used to seeing Laura smile as much as she did around him.
Maybe not all change was bad.
//
Derek tells Laura about Stiles by accident. Or more accurately he mentions Stiles once by accident (not even by name) and Laura had badgered him until he admitted that he had made a friend through a wrong number.
“There’s a lot of weirdos out there.”
“I know.”
God did Derek ever know.
But Stiles is different.
“Just…be careful.”
“I am being. I promise.”
Laura reluctantly lets it go after that. “So…what’s he like?”
“He’s…he’s like bad poetry.”
“Oh god. You’re in love with him aren’t you?”
Derek can’t bring himself to deny it, but he does tell Laura to shut up.
//
Derek fully embraces being in love with Stiles on the day he tells Stiles about his drawings. He’d never told anyone about them before - not even Laura. But telling Stiles had been easy.
‘It reminds me of line art’ Stiles had said when Derek had sent him a photo of the doodle he had been working on. “I love it’.
A warmth flutters through Derek’s veins.
//
It all goes sideways on the day Laura goes on Derek’s phone to check the time.
She’d raised one eyebrow at him looking amused.
“I thought you didn’t listen to music?” She said, a teasing note to her voice.
“I don’t.” Derek shrugged.
“A huh. So why do you have a picture of Stiles Stilinski as your wallpaper?” She asks.
It’s so startling to hear Stiles name coming out of Laura’s mouth that Derek’s brain refuses to function properly. “How do you know Stiles?” He asks weakly.
Laura laughs. “He’s not exactly a niche celebrity Der. He was a really famous YouTuber before he started selling albums.”
Derek doesn’t know what to say to that. He blinks as his world slowly unravels before him.
No.
She had to be wrong, because Derek couldn’t be in love with a celebrity. Stiles couldn’t be…
“Hey are you okay? You look really sick?”
“He’s famous?” His throat is dry.
“Yes? Are you okay? What’s wrong? You’ve got to speak to me Der. Use your words.”
Derek just shakes his head because he can’t.
“It’s him.” He manages to get out.
“What are you talking about?”
“Laura. It’s him.”
It takes a moment to click but Derek knows when it does because a look of thunderous wrath takes over Laura’s face.
“I’ll kill him.” She seethes, shaking with anger. “What kind of fucking punk thinks that this is a good prank to play?”
“What?”
“No one is getting away with catfishing you, Der. I’m going to hunt this fucker down, and then I’ll rip him so many new ones that he going to look like SpongeBob when I’m done with him.”
And god, Derek hadn’t even considered the thought that Stiles might not even be Stiles. The thought of Stiles being a liar…
The gape in his heart grows a little bit bigger.
And it all falls apart.
//
It takes hours before Derek can convince himself to confront Stiles.
11:08 PM Bad Poet
<you’re stiles stilinki
>fuck
(And yeah, it was really him).
>how did you find out?
<Laura
>I was going to tell you
<Were you?
>Yes
>I’ve wanted to for ages
>It just never felt like the right time to bring it up
<I wish you had decided on the right time was sooner
>Me too
>I’m sorry
>Please don’t hate me
Derek did not think it was possible for him to hate any part of Stiles.
<I don’t
>Thank fuck
>seriously
>can I call you?
<sure
Derek closed his eyes after sending the text and waited for Stiles to ring. A heartbeat later his ringtone sounded off.
“Hey.”
“You believe me right?” And Stiles sounds more frantic than Derek had ever heard him before.
“I believe you, Stiles.”
“Are you sure, because I can prove it if you want? I can do a video call? Or I can tweet literally anythi-”
“Stiles.”
“Yeah?”
“You don’t have to prove anything to me.”
Stiles lets out a small whine, that reaches through the phone line and yanks at Derek’s already tattered heart, unraveling him just a little more.
“Meet me.” Stiles said, taking Derek by surprise.
“What?”
“Please. I meant to throw a please in there, I’m just really fucking nervous right now. Meet me please. In real life. I uh- I was going to ask when I finally told you about the whole being a celebrity thing. It’s still weird to say that out loud. That’s part of why it was so hard to tell you. But the point was you beat me to the punch with the whole reveal thing, but I still wanted to ask.”
“Stiles…”
“And it’s not that I was trying to use my influence or fame to pressure you into meeting me. I just wanted to be in a space where we were one hundred per cent honest with one another before I asked you. You can still say no. Of course you can, I don’t know why I’m- my point is I hope you don’t say no.”
Derek feels his heart break in two.
“Stiles…I can’t.”
“Oh.”
He hadn’t fully realised just how many worlds apart the two of them were when he had fallen in love with Stiles. It felt even more impossible than it had before.
“I’m sorry.” The words leave him feeling hollow.
“No. Don’t apologise. This is just me getting carried away. It’s okay.”
I love you. The words never leave Derek. They can’t leave him.
There was no way this could work, and he was far too scared of breaking the tentative connection they had with his useless words.
It was better for him to just… fall out of love.
//
6:17AM Laura
<it’s really him
>are you sure
<I’m sure
>what are you going to do?
<nothing
>Derek you’re in love with him
<I’m aware
<it doesn’t matter
<it wouldn’t ever work
>I’m sorry
<don’t be
<I’m going to be fine
>Im coming over with wine
//
That night Derek fills pages and pages of his notebook with drawings of Stiles.
When he gets a message from Stiles at 11PM- for the first time since they started messaging- Derek leaves it unopened.
//
He never ignores a message again after that, and life moves on. Stiles still messages him all the time, but he never asks to call anymore.
Derek misses his voice so much that he goes onto youtube and listens to his music.
He buys all three albums Stiles released and it still doesn’t feel like enough.
//
He fills an entire notebook with doodles of Stiles.
It’s still not enough.
//
1:11 PM Bad Poet
>I wrote you a song
>I know you don’t listen to music
>but it felt weird to not a least send you a link
>bad poetry at 2:00am
The link leads Derek to a youtube video of Stiles holding a ukulele and staring with a soft smile at the camera.
“Hey guys. It’s been a while, huh? But I guess I finally found inspiration. So here we go.”
The song is beautiful, but even more beautiful than that was Stiles.
When the song reached the end Derek doesn’t hesitate to hit replay.
He listens to the song ten times before he realises he’s crying - and he knows that he’s never going to ‘get over’ Stiles because he doesn’t want to.
//
3:00 PM Laura
>have you seen the video?
<he sent me a link
<he wrote a song for me Laura
<I love him so fucking much and he wrote a song for me
>fuck
<what do I do?
>what do you want to do?
<I don’t know
>I think you should look at his twitter
<?
>I wasn’t going to say anything because you said you wanted to get over him
>but I think you need to see it
>@stilesstilinki
//
@stilesstilinski
I want to hug him
@stilesstilinski
Get you a guy that will stay up with you until 4AM talking about literally anything
@stilesstilinski
Why do I alway fall for people so far out of my league? rip me I guess.
@stilesstilinski
He makes me want to write poetry
Derek spends hours scrolling through Stiles’ twitter.
He scrolls far enough back that he gets to the part of his timeline where his twitter is littered with pictures of Lydia, which causes the ache in Derek’s chest to grow. But he can’t stop looking because Stiles looks so happy.
And Derek falls impossibly more in love.
He lets himself acknowledge for the first time that Stiles might love him back.
And everything else?
It’s worth it.
Because Stiles is worth everything to Derek.
//
2:00 AM Bad Poet
<so I looked at your twitter
>fuck.
>how much did you see?
<all of it
>tight
>please excuse me while I go die now
>bye
<don’t leave yet
<I had something I wanted to ask you
>did you want me to delete the tweets?
>I can do that
>I’ll just delete the whole account
>I am my own worst enemy so this won’t be a problem
>actually Jackson Whittemore is my worst enemy
>but I’m a close second
<stiles?
>yup?
<Will you go on a date with me?
>alkdjf
>yes?
>Ofc yes?
>are you being serious?
>because this would be a cruel prank if you’re not serious
<I’m serious
>yes.
>yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes.
>holy shit
>theres no fucking universe where I say ‘no’ to that question from you
>im so fucking in love with you
>is it too soon to say that?
>I don’t even care
>I’m speaking my truth
>you obviously don’t have to say it back
>im going to woo you so hard Derek
>you’ll have to love me back eventually
>I’m going to write you poetry
>hell I’ll even read poetry for you
>ill give the whole fucking moon to you
<why would I want the moon?
<im not gru?
>despicable me
>that was a despicable me reference.
>you don’t listen to music, but you watch despicable me?
>you’re such an enigma to me Derek
>god I love you so much
<stiles?
>too much?
<no
<I don’t think I could ever have too much of you
<I love you too stiles
<so much
<I just don’t want you to get your hopes up
<I might not be able to live up to it in real life
>impossible
<seriously stiles
>I am being serious
>I’m already in love with you Der
>you don’t have to do anything more than you’ve already done
>you could wear a potato sack, and spend the whole night not saying anything at all
>and I would still be in love with you
>all you have to do now is show up
<…I can do that
>perfect
//
TWO YEARS LATER
@stilesstilinski
Hey @JacksonWhittemore, remember when you told me I would die alone? Well I just got engaged to the love of my life. So checkmate fucker.
61 notes · View notes
warmau · 6 years
Text
meet midnight!au x bts
aus about falling in love at midnight,,,dont know where it came from but this blog is basically a wasteland anyway might as well have fun w it! 
namjoon
there’s never much to do past midnight in your apartment,,,,,to be honest you hate being awake at this hour
but you’re kind of a night owl
getting things done when it’s dark outside is sort of your thing and sitting at your desk with the light on
brooding over work you should have done a week ago
you’re upset that the window in your bedroom leads out to the next building
so you can’t even see much of the street or even the sky
you literally would have to climb out onto your fire escape to look up
and usually,,,,you wouldn’t entertain the idea of going out onto that old, rusty looking thing
but tonight you’re extra bored 
so you do
the night air is a little cold - you regret not wearing more layers but climbing through the window was already hard enough
the fire escape makes some sounds as you settle down and get comfortable
and you’re half worried it’s going to give way and drop you three stories down
but it doesnt and you look up to the sky,,,,,,,where small specks of what could be dust or actual stars glitter
you hear another noise and look back down to see that,,,,,,,there’s someone climbing out of the window on the other house
the one thats right beside yours
a tall, slim looking silhouette makes it out and does exactly what you did
pushing his feet through the bars and sitting down to look up at the sky
you might be,,,,at most,,,,,six feet away from his fire escape and you wonder if he’s just as bored as you
“looking at the sky?”
you call out and he hears you, dropping his gaze from above
he shyly itches at the back of his neck when he realizes he’s got company
“sorta. i cant see it from my window so i have to come out here.”
“can’t sleep?”
he shrugs
“im trying to finish some work up,,,,,,im not a morning person.”
you chuckle,,,,,looks like you arent the only on in this city with a sleeping on time problem
it’s quiet for a moment but then you see that the boy across you has begun playing with a lighter
the small flame flicks for only a second before he lets it go
and when you see it spark up the little halo of light it produces shows off some of the features of the boy sitting across from you
he’s got a sharp jawline 
that goes up into high cheekbones 
his eyes are dark and whenever the flame lights up you can nearly see the line of orange fire within them
it’s getting colder by the minute,,,,but you’re entranced
“so what kind of work do you do?”
he puts the lighter down
“i write songs,,,,,,lyrics mostly.”
“id love to hear some.”
he tilts his head up and throws his hand over his back “i can go get my book if you want.”
“id love that’
you sit there,,,for god knows how long listening to him read from across the fire escape
and it’s only when it gets too cold to handle and that you realize it must be nearing some ungodly time do you part ways
and when you wake up the next morning,,,,you go out - tired onto your fire escape and are surprised to see what looks like a paper plane settled on the fire escape
you pick it up and unfold it
‘i didn’t get your name, but mine is namjoon. hope we can see each other again,,,,,,,maybe tonight?’ 
you smile and when midnight comes around again you open your window and see namjoon on the other fire escape
he’s playing with his lighter again and you think this time you’ll bring a blanket out so you won’t get cold
(and maybe ,,,, you know,,,, so you can spend some more time with him)
seokjin
you’ve been roommates with seokjin for at least two years now
you like his company a lot and unlike other roommates that you have,,,,he actually cleans up and cooks
and if anything,,,,all your friends who have met him also adore him (a little too much you might even add)
the only person who seokjin doesn’t get along with is your boyfriend
who rubbed him the wrong way from the moment they met
and everytime you go out and tell seokjin it’s with him, seokjin makes a bit of a face 
and says “if he does anything - you tell me right away.”
you used to roll your eyes, tell seokjin that your boyfriend isn’t all that bad 
that seokjin was being overprotective for no reason at all 
but then,,,,you found out your boyfriend was planning on breaking up with you - just after your anniversary 
you’d had a big fight about it,,,your boyfriend had tried to lie but you had evidence that he had been planning it
and when all was said and done,,,,,your boyfriend,,,well ex now,,,,had said something that was so painful
that no matter how much you told yourself NOT to cry on the bus ride back home
when you got off at the stop,,,,the sky was pitch black and no one was out so you let yourself just ball your eyes out
the only problem was,,,whenyou opened the door to your apartment seokjin was still up
you’d expected he’d be in bed,,,he had work down at his restaurant tomorrow 
but he was sitting on the couch - some shitty drama re-running on tv
and when he saw you,,,,,,,
the bowl of popcorn fell from his lap as he got up, coming toward you so fast you nearly blinked and he was already holding you in his arms
your face snug in the front of his shirt - soaking it through with your tears
his hand settled on the small of your back
he spoke against the shell of your ear
“what did he do? do i have to kill him?”
you brought your hands around him, bunching up the back of his shirt in your fists as you just cried
seokjin didn’t let you go, not even when you started sliding down toward the floor - weak from crying
he simply picked you up in his arms and let you cuddle close against him when he put you down on your bed
“don’t go” you whispered and he nodded
racking his fingers through your hair and whispering softly till there were no more tears left inside of you to cry
when he felt that you’d stopped shaking, seokjin let you go gently
he let your head rest on the pillow and he brought the blankets up to cover you
and although you hadn’t fallen asleep yet,,,,seokjin must have assumed you had
because cautiously you felt him kiss the middle of your forehead
whisper against it that no one deserved someone like you,,,,,,,he himself didnt
even if he had wanted you so bad for so long 
when he’d gotten up to shuffle out of the room , you’d opened your eyes
touching the skin of your forehead still warm from his lips
and after only a moment to think it over
you got out of bed, making your way into the living room were seokjin was cleaning up after himself
and he turned- shocked and about to ask if everything was alright 
when you pressed up close to him, taking his face in your hands and going
“seokjin,,,,,,,,it’s me who doesn’t deserve you.”
the words fall from your lips and before anything else seokjin kisses them 
kisses you and kisses you murmuring in between that he’d do anything for you to know,,,,how much he loves you,,,,,,,and how much he’s wanted this 
yoongi
you hate working the graveyard shift at the local diner 
half because you never know what weirdo is going to walk through the door,,,,,and the other half because it gets so empty and boring
and the kitchen staff don’t bother making conversation with you anyway
so you’re stuck,,,,,waiting till someone comes by
and it’s a particularly rainy night on this shift
you watch the rain accumulate on the window near one of the booths and sigh
praying silently that the rain will stop by the time you have to leave 
you almost jolt when the little bell chimes and in walks a lonely looking boy
his head is hidden by a hood much too large for him and in his left hand is a notebook and a couple of wads of cash
“just one?”
you ask cautiously,,,,worried about this persons intentions
until he looks up and you’re thankful that he looks about your age and tired more than menecing
he nods
and when you seat him beside a booth he takes one glance at the menu and then orders coffee, black and asks for an extra pen if you have one
you give him the pen you keep in your aprons pocket and then go back to get the coffee
it’s nearing midnight now,,,,so you’re not sure why he’d want to drink coffee
but either way you slide the mug down on the table and notice that he’s pulled out his notebook
turning past pages and pages of what looks like stanzas of poetry
the boy takes a sip of his coffee and lays out his money flat on the table
and then,,,,he starts to write
for a while you try to ignore him but he’s the only interesting person,,,,,well he’s the only person at all that’s in the diner
and before you can help yourself you’re sliding into the booth across from him and asking if it’s ok if you sit here
he looks up at you for a moment - but nods
only a minute has to pass before he goes “are you going to ask me what im writing about?”
you shift, your uniform suddenly feels a little too tight for comfort
“wow,,,,can you read my mind?” you chuckle and he shrugs “there’s nothing else to ask a stranger is there?”
you blink, but nod slowly
“im writing poetry,,,,,,im not very good at it.”
he taps his pen against the page and then flicks his eyes up to meet yours
“do you write?”
you shake your head,,,,the sound of the rain on the window matches the speed of his tapping
“why not?”
“why not what?”
“why don’t you write?”
you laugh in response and it makes the boy raise an eyebrow
“i dont have the talent.”
he grins at this, the first real sign of emotion on his face
“me either, but here i am.”
you two talk a little more about poetry,,,,he introduces himself as yoongi and you think that’s quite a unique name. you tell him it’ll make a good poets name 
yoongi finds that funny as well
around an hour in some more customers come in,,,mostly security guards or construction workers who work odd hours
you get a little busy with them
but then it dies down and you find yourself with yoongi again
he checks his watch and frowns 
“ive got to get going, i have a pretty early class. but here, i wrote this for you.”
he tears a page from his notebook and hands it to you. he motions to the money on the table
it’s far too much for a cup of coffee but yoongi tells you to keep the change as a tip
he liked talking to you
when he leaves you look down at the page,,,,,it’s a simple poem
and when you read it ,,,, you realize that it’s a poem about you
about you in this diner ,,,,, and you look back out the window
the rain has stopped but its still pretty dark out
you can make yoongi’s figure out crossing the street and for some reason you wave at it
you’re shocked when the figure of his stops and he waves back
,,,,,,,,,,,yoongi comes back the next night and suddenly you think the graveyard shift isn’t too bad
hoseok
there’s a lot of people cramped into the small space where the show is being held
usually you like a crowd,,,,but this is a lot
and to be fair you were dragged here by a friend - not because you really even know or like the band at all
but your friend is head over heels for the lead singer
and so you’re there to be moral support
at least you were ,,,,,,,,,,, until you see him
he’s grinning when he gets on stage
he slaps the back of the bass player and chugs a part of a beer that someone in the crowd hands him
he’s all smiles and cheers and you’re almost shocked that he isn’t the lead singer
he’s the drummer
he pulls back his bangs from his eyes with one hand, the other holds his sticks as he gets comfortable behind the drums
his body is lean, but muscular and the tank he’s wearing is slit at the arms so with one turn you can see his chest and toned arms
you lean over to your friend and ask “whose that?”
she jumps up and down, eyes directed only at the singer at the mic 
“whose who?”
“the drummer?”
“oh! jung hoseok,,,,,he’s like a wild party boy or something.”
she talks fast, distracted by the other man in front of her but you just keep looking at the person behind him
the person behind the drums
and for a moment hoseok locks eyes with you
his are brown,,,,but they’re special - they’re lit up like those of a lion
you’ve never been so electrified by someones gaze
and then he shoots you a half smile, his teeth glittering in the harsh light on the stage
the set starts and the music is loud and frenzied,,,,very punk with undertones of romantic pop
it makes no sense but you feel it ,,,,,, but most of all you feel hoseok
because you’re close to the stage, so close that you’re sure he’s burrowing holes into you with his eyes 
you might not admit it,,,but you make a little show for him
pretending to sing along, running your hands through your hair, you’re focused on keeping that attention
and it works 
when the set ends and the next band goes up on stage 
hoseok, sweaty and panting gets up from the drums - locks eyes with you a tilts his head to signal that you meet him outside
you tell your friend you’ll be back,,,,,but that’s a hard maybe
because as soon as you’re outside
in the dark, cold night 
hoseok is there - leaning against the back wall in the alley outside of the venue 
and you don’t even have to think twice
when he beckons you over 
and smiles in the dark, putting a hand in your hair and combing it through 
“is this your first show?”
“not at all” 
his grin gets wider, “yeah, i could tell.”
he looks even better up close,,,,it takes time but your eyes adjust and you see how pretty his skin is - still covered a little in sweat, sleek and glowing
“so, did you like it? the music, i mean. i know you liked me.”
hoseok flirts and you give a little, cute shrug of your shoulders
“wasn’t paying attention too much to the music,,,,my mind was somewhere else.”
hoseok makes a low sound of surprise,,,,,,but lets his hand tilt your chin up
“it’s ok, we’re not in everyones taste. but im glad im in yours.”
“we’ll see about that.”
there’s only a moment before you two are kissing, rough and raw and then you pull back to get a good look at him again
you notice he has a tattoo that dips down his ribs and another that hides over the hem of his belt
you put your hand there
“can i see?”
he chuckles “getting right to the point are we? i guess ill let you have a look but,,,,,,not in this shitty back alley.”
with that hoseok throws an arm around you, he pulls you flush against his side and you lean up to kiss right below his jaw
you guys saunter off into the night,,,,,but you make sure to text your friend an apology later on hehe
jimin
you like going to the movies alone 
which in some cases freaks people out because movies are supposed to be a social event
but you’re like no. if im paying twenty bucks for a ticket im going alone so i can focus on the movie,,,,,not having a conversation with a friend or making out with someone
the only problem is,,,,it’s pretty hard to see a movie alone
the theater is usually packed
and so your only options are either going super early in the morning or super late at night
and since the morning one is hard,,,,,,afterall you do have things to do other than that
you always pick the super late night screening if you can
and usually there’s maybe a max of five people there - which is a nice comfortable number for you
but tonight there’s only one other person
which you’re even better with
the only thing is,,,,,this person must be a lot like you
because he’s sitting in your favorite row - the best row in your opinion for watching the movie
and like you,,,,he’s even brought his own hidden snacks in the waistband of his sweats
you take a seat,,,,four or five chairs away from him
he doesn’t turn to look at you and maybe you’re happy that you and this one other movie-goer have silently agreed not to bother one and other
but,,,,,something about him is just so,,,,,,,curious
for one,,,,he’s wearing a mask inside,,,,,where there’s only one other person
he even has a cap on too
maybe he has cold? you think to yourself
but whatever it is,,,,you can’t believe it,,,,,,that this one person is distracting you 
you try hard to look at the screen - hope the movies plot will save you
but it turns out that it’s just another crappy indie romance film and you’re like ,,,,,,,,, not at all impressed
the person doesn’t seem to be either, he suddenly turns to you and shrugs
he says something but because of the mask you cant hear him so you motion for him to take it off
he hesitates, but does it and goes
“it’s kind of boring, huh?”
you nod but you’re trying to make sure if you’re seeing right
because the person in front of you is,,,,,,,,park jimin
park jimin of bangtan
his face is on a poster for LG right outside the movie theater
you try not to act too shocked, you just go “this director is kind of known for this boring romantic stuff.”
he looks a little surprised and suddenly is moving his seat to be closer to you
“i dont see a lot of movies,,,,,my job gets in the way of that. do you have any recommendations?”
you try to calm your heart - you’ve never been this close to someone this famous before
and you dont want to come off as a wild fan or anything so you’re trying to carry on a totally normal conversation
giving him a list of recent ones that you liked and explaining that this time is the best - there’s usually maybe only a couple of people here so there’s no background noise or whatever
jimin nods and sits back against the chair 
he looks up and the scene in the movie is that of the main pair kissing
he sighs and you still cant believe that it’s him,,,,,it’s really him
“this is going to sound crazy but i havent kissed someone in years”
he suddenly breathes and you blink
“o-oh, why not?”
“my job sort of ,,,,, doesn’t like it if i date.”
“ah,,,” you pretend to know what that feels like,,,,,you’re just single of your own free choice
it must be hard for him 
suddenly jimin turns to you and even in the dark movie theater you can tell he’s flustered 
“was that awkward of me to say, im sorry-”
“no no it’s fine. im sorry your job seems so strict”
he sighs again, taking his cap off and running his hands through his hair
“it’s a job i love, so it’s ok.”
his voice trails off and the scene on the screen just gets more romantic to the point where even you look down
until you hear jimin’s voice, quiet and low
“i forgot what that all feels like,,,,,,,” 
you turn to him and jimin meets your gaze
for a moment he just maps your face out with his eyes and then swallows a bit
“are you currently dating someone?”
you shake your head, your palms are sweating from the way jimin is looking at you
and suddenly you can tell what he’s going to ask next
so without a complaint you nod “yes, you can kiss me.”
he smiles, leaning in and for a second you don’t care that this is THE park jimin of bangtan
because you’ve missed kissing too,,,,,even if it’s hard to admit that
and before you know it your hand is in his hair and you’ve moved your seat into that of his lap
and you’re thankful for your trips this late at night to the movies
because you’re kissing jimin even as the credits behind you roll 
taehyung [tw: drinking]
working out is always a bummer for you
especially working out in font of people - like it might just be in your head but it feels like people stare
so you opt for running beside the river at night
its dangerous,,,,,maybe,,,,,but it’s more comfortable for you and usually you get lost in your music anyway
you’re almost halfway done with your run when you notice there’s someone by the river 
he’s dancing around, spinning in circles with some sort of music of his own blasting from his phone in his back pocket
you think that you’d better avoid this guy,,,,,,he looks like he’s trouble 
but when you want to start running the other way you notice him stumble, almost right into the rail separating him from the river
you skid to a stop, the moral part of you nagging that you better go see if he’s alright
as you come closer you see that it’s not some old weird man like you’d dreaded - but instead a boy who looks like he’s in his early twenties
he’s dressed rather nice, pretty earrings swinging from his ears everytime he twirls every which way
and when he catches your gaze he breaks out into an even bigger smile
“well hellllllooooo, do you want to dance?”
he outstretches his hand and you just look at it
“are you ok? i saw you almost trip over the rail-”
“i am not ok, i am taehyung and i am fantastic ,,,,,,,,,,,and you are rather lovely actually”
he stops dancing and comes closer to look at you 
you look at him, smelling the scent of a bit of alcohol off him
“are you drunk?”
“tipsy, i can think straight don’t worry” 
he giggles and does another turn, offering his hand once again
“so, dance?”
you shake your head pointing over your shoulder “actually, i better finish my run”
“dancing is MUCH better exercise. especially if two beautiful people dance together.”
he grins and starts to sway again
you feel awkward now,,,,telling yourself off for sticking your nose into something
but then taehyung takes your hand while you’re in thought and twirls you around, dipping you by the waist before you can even catch your breath
“well, you know my name, tell me yours”
you fret a bit, stuttering it out
“pretty name, pretty face  - do you really not want to dance a little with me?”
he lets you go and waits for an answer
you know you should just say no and go on with your run
but something about this taehyung is enchanting,,,,like his eyes are sparkling with something magic
you sigh, “im not good at it - be warned”
he claps and takes your hands in his “ill teach you”
you let taehyung spin you around, lead you and then he pulls you close as his hands are in yours and the song on his phone turns slow
“do you like to waltz?”
“i,,,i dont dance i said that-”
he lowers his lips closer to your ear
“it’s a shame, pretty people should love dancing. it makes them even prettier.”
you feel your heart jump into your throat and then taehyung is letting you go to point up
“look at the moon” 
you look up and taehyung sighs “she’s shining down just for us.”
you want to say that that’s a bit romantic of a thing to say to a stranger,,,,but when you catch taehyung’s beautiful profile against the moonlight shimmer
you keep the thought to yourself
and taehyung and you dance a little more into the night
jungkook
to say it’s been a hard week is an understatement 
it’s been damn near hellish 
everything seems to be going wrong and you don’t know how to control it anymore
so you’ve been doing the only thing that comforts you just a little bit,,,,,,eating your favorite takeout
actually,,,,you’ve eaten it seven days in a row
and each time you order it at like midnight and the same delivery boy shows up
his dark hair sticking out of his helmet, his big eyes wide whenever you open the door and sluggishly hand him the money
on the eighth day of ordering the same thing at the same late time 
the delivery boy drops the bag in your hands but asks
“are you ok?”
you sigh, leaning against your door and shaking your head
“no,,,,,,but whats the point of telling a stranger”
he shrugs “getting things off your chest can really help.”
you look at him, reading for the first time in a week what his nameplate says
“well jungkook,,,,,it’s been really shitty”
you sigh and he unclips his helmet, taking it off and shaking his hair 
when he looks at you again you have to say,,,,the helmet does him no justice
without it he’s like ten thousand times cuter
and you feel ten thousand times more embarrassed about complaining to the damn delivery boy about how bad life is
but he doesn’t seem phased at all, he just leans on the wall across from your door and crosses his arms
“life is always though, but there’s nothing to do but stay positive.”
you know he’s right but you shrug at it “i dont think theres much to be positive about,,,,,,,,,except food”
you lift the bag with a grin “this always makes me happy”
jungkook laughs and uncrosses his arms 
“well then im happy to deliver it to you forever if it makes you happy.”
you flush a little at that, looking down at your feet wishing you werent wearing your old pj’s in front of him all of a sudden
he must have seen you at your utter worst this week
but he’s still there beaming at you, the watch on his hand ticking past midnight 
“i dont want to take anymore of your time,,,,” you start but jungkook shrugs
“it’s fine, this place is a five minute bike away from the resturant”
your eyes widen “you ride a bike,,,,,not like a motorcycle or something?”
jungkook laughs into his palm “i wish! unfortunately i only have a bike,,,,,,,”
he thinks for a second
“do you want to take a late night ride? my boss hasnt called me about any other orders?”
you put the bag of food inside your apartment and grab your keys from the wall
“id love that”
you find yourself on the handlebars of jungkook’s bike,,,,which he’s had since he was like fifteen by the way
the night air whips past your face as jungkook pedals you around the neighborhood and you feel alive for the first time in a while
jungkooks warm hands over yours on the handlebars 
when he gets you home, you hop of and thank him - red in the face from the wind and from screaming of fear when jungkooks bike almost tipped
he grins, telling you it’s nothing
and that the only payment he needs from you is for the food (obviously) and maybe a kiss on the cheek as a tip 
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nikiforlov · 7 years
Text
Fic Rec!
Ive read and bookmarked a bunch of fics that i particularily liked, so im sharing them now! i hope you enjoy !
* = personal favourite
Open At The Touch (6,5k)
Maybe Nishigori got ahold of a lock of Viktor's hair, and some Polyjuice potion. Maybe it's all an elaborate prank. With this as his only reasonable explanation, he steps forward, snags Viktor by his robes and tugs him in. "Nishigori," he says in Japanese, "this prank isn't funny. Your English is better than when I left, though." "Ah," says the fake Viktor Nikiforov in English, voice dipping, and is he blushing? "What was that?" "Maybe I got hit in the head by a Bludger," Yuuri muses. Viktor's smile grows ever wider, tightening at the edges. "Maybe I never came home from my international Quidditch competition. Maybe I'm lying in the hospital right now, hallucinating." There has to be an explanation, mystical and magical or medical, for the best Seeker in the Quidditch world showing up at his door; something besides his portrait, which won't stop talking to Yuuri anyway.
Coming to Terms  (10k)
Victor's realization wasn’t a pinpoint. It was a culmination of years of knowing something was different. An ache without a name.
A story about Victor learning, accepting, and loving himself as a gay man.
The Tsesarevich lives! (50k)
An Anastasia AU. 
Victor is an orphan with no name, no family, and no memory of a time before he was ten years old. Could he really be the missing Nikiforov heir? An adventure across Europe with two conmen will lead him to the answer.
Say I'm The One (2k)*
Viktor leans forward, the curve of his smile soft. Achingly, Yuuri’s fingers imagine what it’d be like to trace it. “You think I want to romance celebrities?” “Well, you’re a celebrity,” Yuuri feebly tries to explain. “Exactly. Now you’re just being ridiculous,” Viktor counters, smirk growing. “The one romancing a celebrity is you." Viktor and Yuuri get caught in a rainstorm on the way home from practice.
To Boldly Go (30k)*
“Yuuri!” Viktor calls. “I’ve come to rescue you!” Yuuri stares at him blankly. He gestures to the various unconscious space pirates with his recently discharged phaser. “Oh, Captain,” he deadpans. “Save me.”
Or:
A year in the life of badass science officer Yuuri Katsuki, Captain Viktor “Team Mom” Nikiforov, and simultaneously the best crew and worst crew in Starfleet history.
(No prior Star Trek knowledge needed! It’s a loose AU!)
Bestseller (20k)
Reincarnation AU. Bestselling author Yuuri Katsuki often gets asked where his source of inspiration for his novel series comes from. Yuuri always puts on his best smile and gives the generic answer. However, his minds wanders back to the old journal sitting on his desk, and the dreams of a familiar blue eyed stranger.
Have You Heard? (4k)*
According to rumors, Viktor Nikiforov had been seen crying in the E building’s staircase. No one really seemed to know what was the reason, but everyone were terribly curious about it.
Spotlight (2k)
He can't help how embarrassed he sounds as he tries to hide himself in the pillow, and Viktor's laugh is so lovely - and so helpless, so blatantly in love - that it has Yuuri squirming all over again, the wave of protectiveness stealing his breath away.
Oh, Viktor.
"I suppose that's fair, darling. I am pretty incorrigible."
He's smiling, as he says it, and his voice is light, but Yuuri knows better, now. He can hear that tiny, barely there, desperately hidden thread of self-doubt, as clearly as if Viktor were shouting it.
Am I too much?
Viktor doesn't need to say it for Yuuri to hear it. He's pretty sure Viktor's spent too long feeling like he's too much of something - too loud, too clingy, too needy - for him to just shrug it off.
Yuuri knows a little bit about self-esteem. He knows a little bit about trying to kick years of fucked up thinking. And he's damn well going to keep making sure that Viktor knows he can always be as too much as he wants to be.
You can have everything... (12,5k)
AU. Before the Grand Prix Final starts in Sochi, Yuuri finds Victor's phone. He returns it--and hijinks and heavy flirtation ensue.
Fields of Gold (14,5k)
It’s difficult to believe that he’s inspired people like this; that children and teenagers in Japan and around the world lace up their skates or put on skates for the first time and think of Yuuri Katsuki, just like they think of or thought of Victor Nikiforov. He almost can’t take it. It’s too unbelievable. He’s just… Yuuri, after all.
Yuuri Katsuki with a stack of gold medals is still just Yuuri Katsuki.
He can imagine Victor repeating the same words back to him with his own name and how he’d argue that is absolutely not the case, and he laughs inwardly a bit at that.
(The story in which Yuuri Katsuki wins everything there is to win and retires as Japan's living legend, because he's incredible and beautiful and he deserves it. Aka 'Yuuri wins all the gold', the fic.)
Puppy Love (10k)
When Yuuri gets turned into a dog, the last place he expects to end up is Victor Nikiforov's apartment. He learns quickly that the only thing worse than being his idol's pet, is watching him pine for someone else.
Warning: Makkachin has recently passed away at the start of this story.
Twenty-Five Hours (23k)
In which Yuuri spends a 25 hour flight next to Victor Nikiforov, skating legend, and feels it might simultaneously be the best and worst thing that has ever happened to him.
silver scales and golden wishing wells (13k)*
the knights fought valiantly, they have slayed the dragon
Yuuri cried from days on end... he loved that dragon
to the winner goes the gold (900)
In which Yuuri and Viktor are competing against each other in the following year's Grand Prix Final, and they're still (very much) smitten with each other.
“Skater Katsuki, anything you want to say to your fellow skaters before the competition?”
“Viktor Nikiforov,” Katsuki says, “just know that once I win gold, you’ll be doing the dishes for an entire month.”
Then he smiles again, sweet and warm, before giving a little wave and heading off through the hall.
cover story (8k) 
Yuuri stares down at the person standing in the doorway. The stranger hisses, "Who do you think you are, anyways?"
Quickly, before he can really think about it, Yuuri responds, "I'm Victor's boyfriend."
It's a lie, but the words feel good in his mouth, and for some reason, he doesn't want to take them back.
Katsudon (7,5k)
Hiroko doesn’t need to see to coat pork cutlets in egg and panko. She has made this dish for her family for over thirty years; she’ll make it another thirty, if she’s lucky.
Now she makes it for Yuuri and Victor as they fly home from Barcelona, with silver around their necks and gold around their fingers.
Victor Effing Nikiforov (13k)*
AU in which Yuuri still doesn’t remember the banquet, somehow doesn’t blow Japanese Nationals, runs into Victor at the World Championships, and has absolutely no idea why his idol is suddenly friendly and incredibly handsy.
Does Yuuri care about his reasons? No. It’s Victor Effing Nikiforov.
Masks off (27k)*
And so the story goes that a playboy comes to a town, makes it fall in love with him and then proceeds to get himself enticed by the most mysterious person there.
Wait... did it really go like that?
Five Kisses (4k)
It hadn’t seemed out of the ordinary at the time. Victor had always been free with his affection; throwing out compliments, light caresses, even the occasional peck to the cheek. After a little over a week of having him as his coach, Yuuri was sure he had gotten used to it. It was just a Westerner thing, no use getting riled up if Victor wasn’t going to be stopping it anytime soon.
Then it happened.
~~~
Victor likes kissing Yuuri and Yuuri is frustratingly dense
lie to make me like you (80k)*
It’s become a game, of sorts, to anyone privy to the fact that the pattern exists in the first place: ask Victor out at the beginning of the month, date for however many days, and wait for the end to come and for Victor to say, always: I couldn’t fall in love with you. Let’s break up.
With All My Heart (52k)
Once upon a time there was a prince and if you stole his heart, you would live forever. But the prince would only have three days left.
Or: the tale of a Heartless King and a scullion.
When Life Gives You Lemons, Add Sugar (11k)
What could possibly be worse than getting stuck with a roommate you weren't expecting?
Discovering that roommate is none other than Viktor f*cking Nikiforov.
i'm just going to the store (7k)*
Accidental masked vigilante Victor Nikiforov.
Or: how Victor's impulsiveness backfires and creates one of the greatest living internet memes to ever come out of Russia.
November's Secret (233k)*
Overwhelmed with anxiety and his fear of failing, Yuuri faces the issue of if he should continue skating. His best friend, Yuko, proposes a solution - if no one knows it's you, then it's less embarrassing, right? Yuuri begins to create a completely new disguise and persona.
But it works a little too well.
Before he knows it, Yuuri has become the biggest mystery of the skating world and everyone wants to know who he is. Especially Viktor Nikiforov, the idol he's been loosely basing his new persona on for years.
Maelstrom (43,5k)
Victor Nikiforov is poised to win gold in his fifth consecutive Grand Prix Final. He has the world at his feet, is unparalleled in the sport--right up until a snowstorm blows into Sochi, and he finds himself repeating the same day over and over and over. He stumbles over Yuuri Katsuki, and everything changes.
how the mighty fall (in love) (29k)
Every Victor Nikiforov fan has three things in common. 1. They have unrealistic expectations for romance. 2. They mark their calendars with the dates of his newest book releases and the premieres of his latest movie adaptations. 3. They either passionately hate or love his greatest rival, a mysterious author whose pseudonym is only two letters: “KY.”
Allure (11k)*
Yuuri was the most powerful vampire at Hasetsu until he left for Detroit.
After his return for the first time in five years, his priority is training for the Grand Prix with Viktor. Other vampires have steadily invaded his territory, but he's not interested in reasserting his dominance too strongly…Until he catches one of them feeding on Viktor to the point of death in an alleyway.
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