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chrissturnsgirlll222 · 2 months

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second, never first

chris x fem!reader

summary - you grew up hating one guy all of high school but suddenly become friends, but as time goes on feelings develop, only its one sided.

warnings - swearing, kissing, use of y/n, BOYS (no smut… for now lol)

word count - 1800+

NOT PROOFREAD

a/n: @matthewsturnioloswifey i have been trying to tag you in my posts but its not finding your account so sorry!!!

chris and i spent the night figuring out way to make annas blood boil, although in the back of my mind i knew it was wrong. i wont make any excuses as to say im in the right for doing this, but you have to see it from both perspectives.

anna only ever saw our friendship as a challenge. she always needed to be on top.

was i envious of her way with boys? one hundred percent.

did i see her as competition? never.

she was my best friend up until she told me to let the door hit me on the way out.

chris and i arrived at school as normal. we got a few stares from people as we were walking in together and we knew immediately anna told everyone. anna had a weird power over the school and could instantly start a rumor about anyone and get the word out, fast.

it came as no surprise me nor chris that we were getting dirty looks, whispered about and giggles as we walked by. this was all apart of our plan. prove anna right.

weird system i know but it made sense to chris. the plan was the ultimately just piss anna off enough to stop harassing us and give up. so we had to play the perfect couple act. for now were just walking in to school and ignoring the stares and moving on with life as a “happy couple”.

“ill see you at lunch.” chris says to me when we get my my bio class. he gives me a peck on the cheek and walks away.

see. simple.

lunch rolls around and we meet up at my car. “y/n your one hell of an actress, every guy on my team is asking when and how did i get you to date me.” he proudly says. “i guess im the best fake girlfriend ever.” i breathe looking straight out of the window of my car with both hands on the wheel. for chris this was all an act, for me i was living out my dream. although none of it was real. i knew this game we were playing was going to end up with my feelings for him stronger than ever.

“are you ok?” he snaps me out of my own head. “yeah sorry, what do you wanna get for lunch?”

after school my phone was flooded with texts of all of my now ex friends calling me a snake, a home wrecker and even going as far to call me a whore. while all of these allegations were true on the outside they could not be farther from the truth.

chris invited me over after school to continue helping him with history since he did well after i helped him the first time. i never anticipated the questions from his brothers.

“you guys arent dating for real are you?”

“how did this even happen?”

“chris how could you cheat on anna?”

“ok you two can calm down, we will explain.” chris says to matt and nick.

“were not actually dating, anna accused us of hooking up behind her back when we had that movie night this weekend. after that y/n went to her house and she was a complete bitch to her so were pretending to be in a relationship to piss her off even more.” chris explains.

“you guys do know how anna works right?” nick asks. “nick i was her best friend for 6 years, so yes i know she will try to destroy me.” i state. “well as long as you both know what your in for im good with it.” nick says clapping. “anna needs to be taken down a notch, i saw how she constantly treated you. all of the guys on our team always asked why you were never available but i now realize anna was constantly lying to them.” matt says.

“what do you mean not available?” i say. “guys would always ask anna if you were available and she would constantly say no. thats why no guys have ever approached you.” chris explains. “chris you knew about this the whole time and never told me.” i ask

“no one ever talked to me about it because we became so close this year. matt told me today.” he defends.

“im so sorry y/n if i knew she was lying to all the guys i would have said something earlier. i completely support whatever you have planned for anna.” he says.

“well thank you for telling me.”

me and chris walk upstairs to get started on the history tutor session. i get out my books and the flashcards i made for him. “these are for you. they cover all of the terms we learned this unit.” i breathe handing them to him. “thanks.” he says giving me a warm smile.

we work on reading the definitions for the flash cards and then i started quizzing him. chris was a fast learner he just never applied himself before.

“civil rights” i ask holding the flash card in front of him. “a right or rule that has to be followed?” he answers unsure of himself. “were getting there.” i smile. “can we please take a break y/n i actually might light all of my leg hair on fire if i have to do this for any longer.” he requests.

“sure, you did a lot better during the second round of cards.” i say trying to encourage him.

“your the only person who makes me feel like i can be smarter, you know that.” he says studying my face.

i just stay still as he keeps starring at me.

“what are looking at.” i say gently pushing his head to the side and we both chuckle. i get up putting away all of the study material and hop back on his bed grabbing my phone from his side table.

chris doesnt move from his position and is just sitting on the edge of his bed very creepily. “what are you thinking about?”

“you have never kissed anyone.” he blurts

“yeah. thats what your thinking about?”

“how are we supposed to convince anyone were dating if your a bad kisser?”

“what.” he is confusing me at this point. “i have to teach you how to kiss y/n.” he turns around to face me. “chris-“ he cuts me off “anna wont believe were dating if we dont kiss in front of her or anyone at school.” he explains.

“ok then teach me.” i confidently sit up.

“well for one you cant sit with your shoulders so tight. you need to relax.” he puts his hands on my shoulders. i drop them and take a deep breath.

there was literally no way i was about to have my first kiss at 17 years old with chris sturniolo. the guy i have been dreaming about for months now. i never anticipated being this scared for someones face to come so close with mine yet here i am, scared as shit of what is about to happen.

“ok just relax your arms around my neck.” he instructs. i follow his lead as he places his hands on my waist and positions himself.

inch by inch he moves closer to my face, i just close my eyes and focus on my breathing. “y/n you need to relax im not going to do anything your not comfortable with. i promise.” he pauses.

“im sorry, im extremely nervous ive never dont this before.” i mumble. i take another deep breath and my mind starts racing.

my thoughts are put to a pause as his lips fall on mine. i immediately tense up, “relax” he says pulling away for a second and goes back in. just a quick peck, this wasnt too hard.

he pulls away and our bodies separate, “are you ok with more?” he asks. i nod in response grinning ear to ear. he smiles and leans back in. he pushes his lips to mine and i move back, “whats wrong?”

“nothing i just dont know what to do with my hands.” i chuckle. “just keep them behind my head for now, you will get more comfortable with them the more we do it.” he says leaning in for more. we continue kissing and i lift my arms up behind him and gently grab either side of his neck. he grabs my waist with one hand and moves the other to my cheek. i tilt my head slightly into his palm and move my hands to his hair. he breathes into the kiss deepening it and then pulls back.

“your good at this.” i blurt out, almost in a haze aa i fein for his lips back on me.

“thank you.” he chuckles and lets go of me “im going to kiss you again but im going to add tongue. dont get intimidated, just follow my lead.” he explains and i nod. he connects our lips again this time the kiss is deeper.

we continue at a steady pace and he places a hand on the back of my head and i do the same. he smiles at my innocence and breathes heavier.

he slips his tongue in my mouth and i gasp at the new feeling and kissed him harder. i move one of my hands on to his chest and use the other to pull us closer. kissing felt like i was cloud nine. i loved it.

he pulls away and i sign at the loss of his touch. he just stares at me while breathing heavy. “am i bad at this?” i ask wondering if thats why he pulled away.

“no kid your great for it being your first time.” he says smiling. “do you think you got the hang on this?” he says. i just shrug my shoulders, he hums in response. “one more cant hurt.” i say eagerly leaning into him. he catches the memo and places one of his hands on my lower back and i hum into the kiss. i move my body slightly closer to his and put my hand on his chest. he slips his tongue in once more and i feel him swipe his tongue along my bottom lip. hungry for more i move my hand under his shirt and move the other on the side of his face and he smiles in to the kiss once more.

ring ring ring

my phone goes off and we pull apart, chris grabs it and shows me that its my mom calling.

any other time she could have called me and she picks right now?

thanks for reading xx

taglist: @sleepysturnss @blahbel668 @alorsxsturn @w4nnabeurs @junnniiieee07 @waydasims @accio326 @bitchydragonparadise @matthewsturnioloswifey @iloveneilperry @stunza @realuvrrr @jennss23 @tubl-mc

a/n: who enjoyed that oneee????

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ravenloop · 1 year

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-In Time-

Pairing: Yandere!Heimdall X Female!reader

Request (in summary [requested by @oyasumimosura]): Reader is the daughter of Kratos and sister of Atreus. She goes to Asgard with Atreus and is very protective of him. While she's there, she catches the eyes of Heimdall and finds out his feelings for her are far more deeper and darker than she thought. (So sorry this took so long! Also was worried about making Heimdall too OOC so I changed it a bit, hope you don't mind :))

Warnings: Just normal Yandere stuff, Heimdall being creepy and possessive (more towards the end), bit of swearing, some violence.

AN: YALL IM SO SORRY FOR NOT POSTING IN SO LONG 😭 I was busy and honestly didn't even know how long I didn't post in :') so have this request! Trying to clear out my inbox lol. I hope y'all like it cause I Def stressed trying to make it good sjnsj enjoy <3

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There was something so creepy about him.

The way he looked at you. Stared at you. He didn't even think about looking away when your gazes crossed. It was like he wanted things to be awkward between you both.

Not like you wanted any sort of relationship with Heimdall, but it would be nice if he tried to be a little hospitable, would be far better than whatever he was currently doing. Which was—not so shockingly—staring.

You shifted uncomfortably under his gaze, trying to act like you couldn't see him. Though, by now he probably read your mind and knew how you felt. Maybe that's why he kept doing it, he wanted you to feel extremely unwelcomed.

It wasn't like you wanted to come to Asgard in the first place. Your brother, Atreus, did. After a very heated argument back at Sindri's tree home, he ran off and sought out Asgard in spite. Of course he wasn't happy when you tracked him down, your father wouldn't be happy either—considering you went without his permission.

All you wanted was for Atreus to be safe. You'll be damned if you let your little brother get hurt by a bunch of piss-faced gods who think they're above everyone else.

With a sigh, you turned and walked away from the open area where Heimdall and a few other Aesir stood. Still, you could feel those eyes piercing through you like a spear.

"He's a weirdo, right?" You jolted, not expecting someone to talk to you. Turning towards the voice, you noticed Thor's daughter, "Um..."

She snorted at your awkward demeanor, "Relax. Everyone here thinks Heimdall is a jerk." You chuckled slightly at that, at least you knew you weren't alone.

"Im... glad to hear. Thrúd, is it?" She nodded. You've seen her talking to Atreus before leaving back at the lodge. Maybe she didn't have enough time to talk to you then, so she's doing it now. That or her parents didn't want her to.

"And you're Loki's sister, Huh?" She put her hand out, "Nice to meet ya!" Slowly you reached out and grabbed her hand, she shook it roughly. Seems like she's excited.

"He's told me a lot about you. Must be fun having a big sister. I've only had brothers." Oh, right. You remember her brothers, Magni and Modi—the ones father killed.

"Right." Suddenly the situation turned awkward.

"Always have to make newcomers feel threatened or uncomfortable, do you?" A hand landed on your shoulder, making you flinch and turn.

It was Heimdall again.

Good gods, how long was he standing there—was he watching you the entire time?!

This time he wasn't looking at you though, he was staring at Thrúd. She stared back, a frown on her face, "I don't always make people uncomfortable. Right?" She looked at you, making Heimdall do the same.

Both pair of eyes pinned you to your spot. Licking your teeth, you responded, "No, I don't think you do." This was literally your first time talking to her so you didn't know if what you said was even true. Hopefully it was.

Heimdall rolled his eyes, "Lies. Lies. But I will leave you to be her personal toy if that's what you'd like. Nine realms know she hasn't made a single friend since being pushed out." Stepping back, he bowed mockingly before walking off with a laugh. But you didn't miss the way his eyes lingered on you a little longer.

Thrúd scowl, "Don't worry about him. He's just being an ass as always. It's nothing new." You nodded. That was strangely relieving. Maybe he'd soon realise you weren't worth it and would leave you alone. Maybe.

____________________

He didn't stop.

Those purple eyes never left your form. They tracked your everywhere. It felt like not even walls could stop him, like he'd just burn holes through them.

Even now, as people talked and murmured amongst themselves in the dining hall, he didn't focus on them. He only focused on one person. You.

The only reason you were even there was because Atreus was. It was late, the moon was high, and he had only just gotten back from a mission Odin sent him on a few minutes ago. It frustrated you how much Odin kept you and your brother separate, and Atreus was too oblivious to notice it.

I need to speak to him privately. We can't stay here any longer, You thought, staring at Atreus as he munched on a piece of bread. It was probably cold.

Opening your mouth, you were about to call his name, but he cut you off by yawning. "I think that mission tired me..." He laughed sheepishly, rubbing his neck, "I'm gonna go sleep."

Atreus stood quickly, moving to leave the hall. "Wait-" You grabbed his shoulder, making him turn, "Atreus, I need to speak to you... In private."

He stared at you. His eyes swiftly glanced over your shoulder before returning to you, "Could... It wait until morning? I'm really tired..." Your brows furrowed. Why was he acting like this? "I- alright..." You let go of him, watching as he smiled at you, saying goodnight before disappearing down the stairs.

It bothered you that he clearly knew it was important, yet decided it could wait, but the look in his eyes told you something was off. And the way he looked past you—at what? At who?

Turning around, your eyes scanned the hall. And you noticed one person—one god—who wasn't there. Heimdall.

That bastard.

The large doors of the lodge swayed the tiniest bit, indicating someone just left, forgetting to close them properly maybe.

You weaved past a few servants in your way, not caring about what they whispered to their fellow acquaintances. You shouldered open the door more aggressively than intended, but you didn't care. Right now you had your mind set on confronting a certain Aesir.

It didn't even cross your mind that whoever left the lodge could have just been a random Aesir that likely didn't even know your name. But to your eyes only one person was missing from that room, and you would have noticed if he went down the stairs in the lodge, right?

Just in case, you kept one hand on the dagger attached to your hip. The one your mother gave you, since your father was far more detached from you when you were a child than he was with Atreus.

You shook the thought from your head. Now wasn't the time to reflect on your childhood. Things have changed. For better and for worse.

Slowly, you stalked through a smaller, narrower path connected to a larger one. It made you less likely to be seen by others, and right now you didn't need people being suspicious of you—far more than they already are—you'd add.

"Looking for me? I feel honoured." You turned around, finding Heimdall emerging from a gap between houses. It was just big enough for a person to make themselves comfortable between.

Not wasting any time, you asked, "What did you tell my brother?" You saw his lips turn upwards ever so slightly, but it was hard to make out his expressions when he was standing so far, in the shadows of the houses, caused by the moon's light.

"You caught onto that quick. Though," His arms raised, extending outwards, "I guess I shouldn't be so surprised. You're one of the smarter... Half-giants I've met. I mean it, really!" Could he answer your question any slower?

"I didn't ask if you think I'm smart. I asked you what the hel you told my brother." You saw his eyes roll. They were the only things that the darkness couldn't hide from you. Every second they glowed brightly.

"I only instructed him one thing..." Heimdall moved closer to you, stepping out of the dark and into the moonlight. Instinctively you pulled out your dagger, aiming it at him. He stopped moving, but by the look on his face, you doubted he was intimidated. "...that he stay away from you, or I'd hurt you in ways that he'd never imagine possible."

That didn't scare you, it may have you feeling a bit uneasy, but not scared. "Is that what you're here to do now? Hurt me?" "No. Something quite the opposite, actually. That is... If you comply." The hand holding your weapon to him didn't falter, not even as he took a step closer.

"You don't scare me, Heimdall." He took another step closer, you stood your ground, "That's exactly what draws me to you."

You scoffed, "My lack of fear for you?"

"That and the lack of consideration you put behind your actions. I mean, how many other people would put a weapon between themselves and I?" The tone of his voice grew more playful, as if the current situation didn't stress him, "When they know damn well it cannot stop me." It was clear it did not.

And to you It became increasingly more clear that you were in a secluded area. Hidden from any and all eyes expect Heimdall's. No one was around. No one could help you. No one would hear you.

He led you here. So you were with him and him only.

You gripped your dagger harder, the muscles in your arm straining, your breathing growing heavier when he stepped even closer, "Try anything and I'll kill you." He stared at you, a frown on his face. And you silently regretted saying that when he didn't speak.

It was tense. Quiet. All Heimdall did was stare into your eyes. You didn't dare tear your gaze away from his.

After a moment, he scoffed, before breaking out into laughter. Moonlight bounced off his golden teeth as he continued laughing, making them shine. "Do you..." He calmed himself down, still smiling widely, "Really think... That you can kill me?" He tutted, eyebrows furrowing in a way that made him look like he was staring at you with pity. "Oh, sunshine... That will never, never happen."

You dashed toward him.

As soon as the last syllable rolled off his tongue, you moved forward. The muscles in your arm burned at the movement, but it was a relief. They were finally able to move after being suspended in the air for so long.

You aimed for his throat. Your mission was to kill him. He gripped your wrist, yanking you towards him before throwing you into a nearby building. Your head banged against the wall and you hissed in pain. Weapon long forgotten, lost somewhere on the ground when Heimdall threw you. Everything became blurry and you closed your eyes for a moment.

When you opened them, Heimdall was kneeling in front of you. "Have we learnt our lesson yet?" His head tilted to the side, eyes staring into your half-opened ones.

Clear your mind. The words of your father echoed through your head. Do not let your enemy know your thoughts.

"No." Your left hand reached up to grip his braids, your right hand punching his face.

He stumbled back, groaning, his hand reaching up to his now bleeding face. You took your chance and ran, heading for the lodge. You needed to find Atreus.

The path seemed a lot more confusing on the way back, or maybe it was your racing mind making it seem like that.

You could hear Heimdall's rushing footsteps growing louder and closer. They were far more quiet than yours, but you could still pick up on them.

Finally, you saw the lodge come into view, the lights on it glowing brightly—but there was one thing that worried you.

Heimdall's footsteps stopped.

But yours didn't. Your legs kept moving. They went even faster now. Just as you were in a meter or two of the lodge, a hand gripped your arm, pulling you behind a house and back into the darkness as a hand covered your mouth.

You squirmed in Heimdall's grip, biting, kicking and doing whatever to try and escape.

Your teeth bit deep into his palm and he gritted his own teeth. The hand around your midsection, holding your back to Heimdall's chest, squeezed tight until there was little air in your lungs.

This caused you to stop moving, your head spinning once more. You heard Heimdall 'tsk', "Now now... Is this any way to treat your lover?" He finally released his hand from your mouth, trusting and knowing you wouldn't scream.

"You're a deranged fuck if you think anyone could ever love you," Venom dripped from your words, "Especially... when you do... stupid shit like this..." The little air in your body slowly disappeared with each word.

Heimdall noticed your struggles, and despite your words, he loosened the grip on your waist. You took in large gasps of air while Heimdall began speaking.

"True. Though being loved is a hard thing to do or come across now." His hand on your torso moved further up until it reached your throat. It didn't do anything, it just lingered there. "So sometimes, you just need to do things like this."

"I wonder why it's so hard for you..." He didn't like your tone. "Don't worry, you'll have plenty time to find out. It's not like you're ever leaving."

Your eyes narrowed, staring at the wooden wall in front of you. Before you could speak, Heimdall did, "And you will be staying here, sunshine. Unless you wanted your brother to have a... Painful death."

"Touch him and I'll-" you choked on your words when he squeezed your throat, stopping your breathing again.

"I won't touch him if you agree to what I'm proposing." His hand let go so you could breath, "And we both know you can't defeat me. So your best option would be complying." Not even the slightest bit did you agree to what he wanted you to. You hated him. This only expanded that feeling.

But your brother...

You wouldn't be able to live with yourself if he died.

"I'll make your life a living nightmare." It wasn't a yes or a no, as much as you wanted to say the latter.

There was a warm feeling on your neck and you recognized it as Heimdall's breath, "Even better. I love a good challenge. Hard to find one when you're a god of my capabilities."

Everything he said made you want to roll your eyes or curl you lips in anger. The hate you had for him was unmatched. The anger that filled your body when near him made you feel like exploding.

"I hate you."

He chuckled and it sounded like what a snowstorm felt like. Cold.

"I know. But don't worry... in time, you'll learn to love me."

No. No, you definitely would not.

#god of war #god of war ragnarök #god of war x reader #gow #gow x reader #god of war heimdall #heimdall x reader #reader insert #x reader #yandere heimdall #yandere heimdall x reader

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foggylikemyvision · 1 year

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im serious i can't feel anything- hit me.

a not very short short. read at your own discretion.

cw: america's current trans genocide, gunshots, america, fainting, chronic fatigue syndrome (implied)

there's something so, so beautiful about the danger. reaching out and gently holding something that is so often malicious and harmful.

you're enraptured as you hold the muzzle of a crystalline creature, soft and inviting until you hear a loud bang and the creature shatters. it's dark in your room when you wake.

the flickering lights of red and blue and white- ones meant to represent freedom yet oppress those who barely oppose their skewed mindset.

you're enraged as you grip tightly to the end of a blue, pink, and white flag. gunshots ring in the air a little ways away.

you keep marching, even as a bullet tears the very edge of the skin off your leg.

at home, you fear for your life. stage nine, they mutter, stage nine of genocide in the country meant to exist for its people.

you sob, the missing poster of your best friend soaking through with your tears.

maybe you should move to canada? they're- they're taking trans refugees, right?

you take comfort in the fictional world of sagau, being loved and wanting to be loved by your people who think of you as divine.

you know it won't happen, not really. you're a bit too chubby and have too much hair and acne- your habits aren't great and your personality is unattractive-

no, no, this isn't about you.

this is about the people outside, the people screaming and crying and yelling and shouting as they're taken into a van kicking and screaming.

several people look on, disappointed, but no one bats an eye and continues on their day. some even look happy about it.

being under the trans umbrella- something other your assigned gender- it terrifies you. yet, you embrace it as you embraced the crystalline creature in that nightmare so long ago. sharp, dangerous, yet so perfect. you wish to be like it.

in some sick sense- you wish to be feared. you want people to look at you and flinch in fear, to command people with your presence. to be the frightening one instead of being full of fright.

yet, you know it wouldn't happen. you don't have the heart to do it.

you become dizzy, often. standing and suddenly feeling as if you're going to pass out. you're always tired, hungry, even after eating and sleeping a full 8 hours.

you faint one time, as you're stepping back to your device. you become dizzy, black and white spots cloud your vision, and you crumble onto the ground in a heap.

you swear, as your head hits the ground, you can hear frightened shouts coming from your device. you ignore it.

things were odd, that's very much for sure. you got better drops than normal, your daily luck was always the best it could be. you got different dialogue and animations than normal, even.

you try to ignore the worried glances the characters in genshin gave you, passing it off as an expression glitch.

when you woke up from your fainting spree, it wasn't cold, hard, tile you awoke on. it was soft, soft grass. your previously motionless body arises, and you subconsciously bring your hand up to wipe at the drool in the corner of your mouth.

you sit up, carefully cradling the few squirrels laying on top of you, and set them in your lap. you glance around at the too-perfect trees and cut mountains, quickly deducing where you are based on the massive fucking tree above you.

you take a moment to rest, sitting at the statue of the seven with your eyes half-lidded and a soft, contented smile on your lips. eventually, the squirrels leave you, a raven instead landing on your head as you stand up.

"mmn," you mumble to yourself, "hope I don't fucking die on the way to mondstadt, i guess."

you're thankful for your large, oversized jacket with ginormous pockets, as the rocks here are much shinier than earth's and there are plenty of acorns and mushrooms on the ground.

you try to ignore how the flowers and mushrooms you grab seem to grow around your hands, sustaining life despite disconnected from their roots. you try to ignore how the electro crystals don't hurt, despite a small tingle.

you pass it off as a high pain tolerance.

the walk to mondstadt doesn't take nearly as long as it should, what with any monsters you see deciding against attacking you, with a few hydro slimes even coming along for the trip.

hey! at least you didn't faint right?

just kidding you nearly passed out like 10 times. the slimes and birds with you settled for pecking you gently on the head or butting against you whenever they thought you needed to lay down.

at least the naps were good, you think. it was the best sleep you've had in a while.

the thought makes you bitter, but you're glad you're not home.

you push through exhaustion, even as your friends pester you to lay down. you swear that some of the slimes pout.

it's as you're entering mondstadt that you start to see black-white-gray spots cloud your vision and collapse to the ground. a few shouts ring out, but the faint doesn't last long, only a few seconds. dazed, you rise from the cold stone.

"sorry about that.. uh.." you mutter rubbing your eyes after zoning out, "why's everyone looking at me.."

your head hurts and you look up, "oh! sorry little guys. that's my bad, I probably should have listened to you, huh?"

your hand comes to pet the slimes and bird before moving into mondstadt to find a particular.. green bard. knowing the feral goblin, he might know what to do.

oh well, it's worth a shot. what's the worst that could happen?

#👻 tale #chronic fatigue #fainting #sagau isekai #genshin sagau #sagau #self aware genshin #genshin impact #genshin impact sagau #author is tired #genshin impact x reader #genshin imapct #genshin cult #genshin cult au #genshin x reader

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rex101111 · 10 months

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iruka should have had an arc that went along the lines of “his parents were killed by a monster and now that monster is reborn as a boy much like himself with no memory of his past deeds, and grows as a person by forgiving this child for crimes he did not commit and thus forgiving himself for the crime of being unable to save his parents be taking on the role of a parent for a child that the entire world hated for reasons he will never understand”

I mean. He got that. For like, two chapters/ But I’m saying he should have been with naruto like the whole way through and we should have seen his reaction to naruto awakening his nine-tails powers and if PTSD would cause Iruka to reject this child he considers his own or look past the fire and red and sharp teeth to see that silly little kid that draw crude drawing on the walls because he wanted someone, anyone to pay attention to him.

naruto asked him to fulfill the role of his father in his wedding that should have fucking meant something but because Iruka stopped being relevent 30 chapters in I can only sit here in a corner shivering and muttering “kishimoto had solid fucking gold and he threw it in the trash”

...i swear im normal about Naruto normally it just kinda. breaks my mind sometimes.

#random crap #naruto #iruka umino

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blood-injections · 6 months

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hi. being completely normal thinking about funkobra again today. mhm compleyely ordinary. this is normal thinkings i swear

(this band is literally a new favourite of mine i love them so much also the BASS tone goddd. insane)

Ohhh my god first of all this song fucks. the BASS YEAH GOD. EATING IT. I okay. Fuck i cant even form a response yet it fucks too hard. YOU LEAVE ME BEGGING FOR MORE!!! FUCKING GOD THIS IS THE FUNKOBRA SONG EVER WHAT THE HELL . YOU LOVE ME WHEN I NEED YOU DO YOU NEED ME???? I FIND DESIRE LEAVES ME FROZEN!! I WANT IT AND YOU KNOW IT STARVEDBUT NEVER SHOW IT(OH MY GOD) YOU LIKE IT WHEN IM BROKEN . KEEP ME HERE. WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!! I love it when you feed me yet you leave me begging for more

Jesus.okay. Feeling so normal rn. im gonna have this song on repeat for the rest of time. Thinking Thoughts GOD i need to write something for this now. SCREAMING NO LITERALLY THIS IS DRIVNG ME INSANE. HOW GOOD THE SONG IS AND HOW BAD THE THOUGHTS ARE!! also theyvebeen playing so ive heard like nine of their songs now and. OUGH. Survive. Dust to dust. Favorites so far after MORE. Thank you for introducing me to this band its so good i will be Listening

#THE THOUGHTSSSSSS. IM EXPLODING HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME(I LOVE YOU THANK YOU)#funkobra

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smoosnoom · 1 year

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oh moon. ur writing bop after bop. my only wish is to fix ur sleeping schedule (as i don’t write it at 2 am before my work).

“although Will wasn’t sure why, with a lack of an attempt to call or write or remind him that he actually cares about Will in any facet” it’s actually crazy how differently ur looking at this situation after reading mike’s pov. like, will, honey. u didn’t reach out too…

“Will just misses him like home” well sad version of the phrase “home is there the heart is” is valid too 😭

oh and the sky!! “gray sky” when he’s lonely, “gray-red sky” when hes torturing himself about loving mike, “The sun glimpses through cloudy skies” when ice started to melt, “grayish-blue” when they went back to normal but before coming out

“Will knows it’ll never be like before” the way he’s right and wrong at the same time.

“We should all have one person that knows our favorite song” and u decided to become wills person yeah?

“he hear when Mike lets out the smallest of sighs, fleeting when he lands on the ground” he signs like an old person when he’s going any physical activity 😭 grandpa in a young boy body

“You don’t have anything to apologize for” i love when ur doing this

“It makes Will’s mouth run dry” as california summer. fake but never forgotten

““You’re crazy,” [...] He surely drives Will crazy.” yeah cause they’re crazy together

“There’s – there’ll never be a girl.” coming out scenes always make me shrink like im looking for something bad to happen. even though i know it’s impossible. i can’t imagine how hard it’s write one

“if – if you did, that’d be – I’m just” i love when mike is aware of his feelings and finding out that will is gay but still hesitating cause that will is gay doesn’t mean he likes mike.

“Now, I know you better than anyone” hes so 😭😭 i swear if he could put will in his pocket and don’t let anyone interact with him he’d do it

“to brush Will’s hair away from his forehead” im obsessed with this trop

“He’s going to overthink it for the rest of his life, he knows” a lot of others kisses are coming my boy </3

“He can feel Mike’s eyes on him.” and then whole “will-they-won’t-they” thing will start.

also i loove the playlist u made :) “lost in japan” is like… my favorite shawn song Ever 😭😭 and there’s a song “concentrate” which is “hitchhiker” twin But i love “hitchhiker” more so it’s crazy that u chose it 😭😭

ur music taste is soft and sweet like cotton candy. i feel like mine is more like confetti cause i listen to more pop. does it make sense? (it doesn’t mean i don’t like it. it’s just different and that’s cool cause im struggling to find music outside my comfort zone)

anyway. love ur fic and ur playlist. ty for them <3

i feel like we should support u at every given opportunity

my sleep schedule has been in Shambles since i was nine ! so ! at least u get some fics out of my terrible insomnia :D

u know they have some of the worst miscommunication problems ihave Ever seen . i need to trap them together in a room for three hours with a sleeve of ritz crackers

oh my god im so happy u noticed the whole sky motif !!!!!!! it makes me so excited whenever someone notices something like that especially when its probably something u skim over alya Love of my life

mike immediately going over will and filing away every song hes ever listened to is so real to me .

ok YES he sighs like an old man when he does anything . BUT SO DO I 😭😭😭 LET ME LIVE

the bedroom scene where mike looks So offended when will is like I Deserved It :/ lives rent free in my mind . i need to implement it whereveer i can

"as california summer. fake but never forgotten" HEELEPJHP

CRAZY TOGETHER !!!!! CRAZY TOGETHEERRRRRR

coming out scenes intimidate me so so much oh my god ive never even . come out to anyone i just imply things and let people figure it out on their own and watching coming out scenes make me sweat like a sinner in church but . writing them is so hard for me !!!!!!! im trying to write one with jonwill and it is so so so slow and difficult oh my god

so true !!!!!!! mike the gentleman that u are .

he would he rly would !!! number #1 will byers fan Mike Wheeler he just like me fr

omg "lost in japan" is one of my favorite songs of his too and i was like . this is So alya and im so glad u liked it yayayy !!!!!! also what a coincidence i chose the twin u liked better !!!! our brains are Connected for real

urs is definitely like confetti omg what a perfect way of describing it ! urs is like bubbly soda and mine is like . a milkshake . does this make sense . urs so fun and hype and i lovee the songs u showed me !

thank u so much for liking both things alya :D u mean the world 2 me !

#/ask #daily alya #crying over this #when i post a fic and then theres a Long ask in my inbox . plastering it on my walls

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storiesofsvu · 1 year

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l&o thursdays

your regular ramblings and thoughts.

....and now i want pizza...

Happy Thursday fuckers, here we go

SHE STAYED THE NIGHT??? FUCK THIS SHIT (and im no even a bensler shipper. And yes I realize there’s other rooms she could have stayed in but still fuck this)

(sidebar, my OWN MOTHER just goddamn texted me “ack rollins in a wedding dress” m’am…that a SPOILER)

“no reason for me to stay” good, get out of here, I never trusted you.

Ive had enough of this man child casino boy… are we done with this arc yet?

I stopped paying attention thanks to dealing with this stolen fic shit, sorry besties.

This family is more fucked up than the Wheatley’s, and at least the Wheatley’s had appeal to them, like I was constantly rooting for them, these guys are k-mart brand Wheatley’s

If they write Ayanna off the show I will LOSE MY SHIT. But then again she’s a queer, and she’s a poc, so it was only a matter of fucking time….

She IS the boss Elliot, get the stick out of your fucking ass. I swear if he ends up getting promoted and becoming the *actual* boss of OC I will hate it here….

Okay. I did not pay ANY attention to mothership, but I will say this: that blue dress Sam was in is *chefs kiss*

OKAY, time to pay attention!!

If it’s HIS birthday, why is he paying for drinks??

CONGRATS to carisi for being the ONLY person ive seen in media to pop a bottle of champagne without making it overflow. Thank fuck.

THANK YOU FOR NOT FOGETTING ABOUT ROLLINS FORENSCICS EDUCATION FOR ONCE.

Also… are we really gonna get Professor Rollins!?? Even if it *is* offscreen???

Every week I watch the opening credits and pray for the miracle of “Elizabeth Marvel” popping up on the screen and every week I am met with no luck. Maybe one day the day will come? I can only hope.

FOR ONE FUCKING SEASON COULD WE PLEASE STOP REUSING NAMES!!! ELIZABETH DONNELLY WAS A PROMINENT CHARACTER FOR 8? NINE?? SEASONS AND THEY’VE USED THE DONNELLY NAME TWICE IN THIS UNIVERSE WITH NO CONNECTION. COME ON GUYS

Where TF is Velasco….i’d get rotating the cast like this IF IT WASN’T SO FUCKING TINY

Ah, “the Donnelly family is a bunch of criminals” so this Donnelly is related to the one from OC?? Or just lazy writing??

Olivia’s Big dick energy is really showing through this season and im here for it.

You know, considering DW wanted to kill amanda in the premier, we’re BLESSED to be getting so much of her, she could be the one missing/benched/only in one scene but she’s getting a lot of screen time…

Muncy “don’t look at me I didn’t do it!” lolololololol

The dad is super fucking annoying, like obvi these guys know what theyre doing

WE GET TO GO TO COURT OMG IT’S A DREAM COME TRUE

Okay but WHY isn’t he being charged with a hate crime??

The dad’s gonna shoot the perp/someone isn’t it? Like he’s a cop, he’d be able to take his gun into the court room….

Okay maybe he’s not, maybe he’s going to end up accepting his child’s identity

Jfc the stream keeps freezing every 10 seconds this commercial break has taken three times as long as normal, pls…there’s only 8 mins of my show left…

Yessss muncy’s on team pineapple on pizza!!! Fuck YES. Also she cannot sit like a straight… its confirmed, she’s queer.

LOLOLOLOL. THE OFFENDED LOOK ON HER FACE AT THE “in harlem, we don’t put fruit on our pizza”

For the record I’m with muncy on this one.

Okay… so…no proposal tonight and thanks to the promo for next week we know the weddings a legit thing, not just a fake out that they “filmed” to not use… see y’all in two weeks!!

#law and order #law and order svu #law and order spoilers #law and order organized crime #rollisi

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dykecolumbo · 2 years

Note

finally sending you this :) also how was your day today <33

baby - what makes you feel better when you’re down?

sugarpie - what’s your favourite sweet treat?

darling - what romantic gesture makes you feel the most loved?

button - do you have a type? what is it like?

sunshine - what’s the nicest compliment you’ve ever gotten?

baby girl - how do you like to be held?

lover - how do you show someone you like them?

buttercup - what does/would your online dating bio say?

boo - what’s your dream date?

wild thing - what’s something about you that surprises people?

bubba - tell me a funny story from your childhood.

honey - what’s your favourite hot drink? (I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF YOU SAY PINEAPPLE FANTA BUT MICROWAVED-)

my love - what would your dream home be like?

(i started answering this when i first got it like. 3 or more months ago. i just finished it now it's been in my drafts forever im SORRY I LIVE IN SHAME)

my day was goood i played an absurd amount of solitaire and thought about ripping my business law teacher apart with my teeth

baby- i go for a lot of walks and bike rides. sometimes i'll bike out to one of the many playgrounds near my house and chill on the swingset

sugarpie- im a total gummy bear pilled gummy bearcel. i love gummy bears so fucking much

darling- oh god idk. im classy at heart. id love to be wined and dined. never have been thought so i can't say it makes me feel the most loved. i rlly don't know

button- mmmm not really? not at all actually. if i like you i like you and if i don't i dont

sunshine- is it bad nothings coming to mind??? not in like a "everyone is so mean 2 me" way just like... idk. im very average. ig i like it when people tell me i'm funny

babygirl- dude i do not know. im awful at like... cuddling bc i just cannot sit still for the LIFE of me. ig just hug me idfk

lover- uhhh kiss them on the lips repeatedly "but in a friend way" which is tbh how it normally starts but whatevs

buttercup- uhhhhh god i don't know. "in need of a lobotomy but my head's still ok" or some dumb bullshit like that

boo- wined. dined. sixty nined is preferred but not a must

wild thing- when i was at work because my hair is technically past my jawline i had to have it tied up all the time when i was working with food, but the one, SINGULAR time i was doing something other than food i got to have it down and i got to show of my huge ass curly ass hair. ik this is boring but so am i! one of my many charms

bubba- my gramps used to live in this apartment building down in florida, and my mom and i went to visit him one year, right? so my grandpa had just moved into this building and little 5 year old me really wanted to be shown around. i don't know why because it's not like we could go into any apartments other than his, so we just walked down 5 identical hallways on 5 identical floors. but i really wanted a tour, so he showed me around while my mom stayed behind in his place. now my grandpa lived at the FIRST DOOR on the SECOND FLOOR. so my gramps and i get to the FIRST DOOR on the FIRST FLOOR, and because all the floors looked identical, my goldfish memory was like "my mom is in there!" and i put my face up against the window and yell cus i wanted to surprise her. i did not surprise my mom. who i DID surprise was a woman in just her bra and underwear watching blue bloods, who jumped out of her seat and screamed at the 5 year old staring through her window, which scared ME and i cried the rest of the evening. fin

honey- NO ONE MICROWAVES FANTA?????? i like peach oolong tea

my love- im flexible. log cabin in oklahoma works just as fine as a studio works just as fine as townhouse as long as that bitch isn't minimalist, and near civilization i will be CONTENT. im not an off the grid type of gal i need to be near people and places

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dongiovannitriumphant · 2 years

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do you have any more pics from The Ball? it sounds like so much fun🐣

I've been drowning in pics and tags over on insta that I forgot how my tumblr by comparison is completely devoid of material, so in short: yes i have loads!! and it was so much fun! I am now going to evily use your kind ask to make a massive photo-heavy post going through the main parts of the trip, but first here's the official group photo at the middle of the night:

it was in an actual georgian era assembly room so it was massive and beautiful, w a tiny orchestra and a dance masster who called the start of the dances so everyone felt confident in what they were doing. The vibes were immensse and so supportive and positive, im a little introverted idiot nerd and even I felt the urge to ask random strangers if they wanted to dance, the vibes were just that welcoming.

Most of the dress-wearers had slaved over their own dresses to fit them into the specified dress code of 1890-1902, so there were ome AMAZING gowns!! I swear mosst of my interactions with people just started w me gassping and going oh my god your dress is amazing did you make it yourself(and the answer was always yes)

if you want to see picss of all the fits, this album has almost everyone

below the cut, personal pics with my squad because this wasnt just a ball but a whole intense weekend

So first of all, THIS is where we were fucking staying, a three story georgian mansion converted into an airbnb, fully equipped with a long-table dining room, a fancy study and a lounge. It was fucking INSANE and we were 13 people staying there, only 5 of which I’d even met before so it wass absolutely wild, but we extremely quickly all made friends and essentially it was such a good vibe of people having doors open to their room so you could alwayss stick your nose in and say hi, see what they’re doing and so on.

This was sort of the usual vibe, me pissing around in my dressing gown on the staircase, constantly bothering everyone else lol and yes im holding a glass of whisky because for those of us who drank, we were absolutely a daydrinking household and it was great

City itself was also just inssanely pretty?? Completely stuffed w fancy georgian houses, unhinged

here’s me and a new friend walking to the ball, waiting for the insane drivers in this city to calm tf down so we can cross

The hallway in the assembly roomss with people milling about, it is in normal dayss a museum hence the ssignage, which tbh just makess it so cool that we actually get to vibe there!!

condolences to my friend for this bad picture of him, but aside from dancing a lot of the ball was also just eating, drinking and socializing. The atmossphere was incredibly welcoming and I got to know so many people just by complimenting their outfitss or them complimenting mine. It’s like the vibe of a nerd convention but everyone also i dressed to the nines

After party vibess in the lounge, I have no memory of having the fez put on my head or who brought it with?? but u know, happens

And here’s most of the gang the day after, milling around town waiting for our respective trains. It was such a journey and an abssolutely wild time.

#the over active spleen #ballposting #i should prob also note that me attending this thing was something i figured out 1.5 months before it happened #ssomeone in the group hopped off of the ball and my friends were like viktor plss come you can stay with uss!!#and ssince ball + airbnb would be 260 quid(YIKES) i was extremely hesitant #extremely fortuitously a writing commission came along just after this all got dropped on me which could cover the whole thing #so i said yes to the writing comm and ssaid to myself this is a once in a lifetime thing #and said yes to go and i do not regret a single fucking ssecond of that

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lost-tardis-room · 2 months

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tentative alignment chart of my doctor who ship opinions. it should be noted that a significant amount of these i mean compelling in a 'that's interesting' way not in a 'i ship this' way b/c i also think the doctor is ace and/or aro Most Of The Time it makes sense i swear. explained under the cut cos oh boy do i have thoughts

like ten and river was set up quite compellingly but obv we dont really see much more of that (i think its in some audios but i haven't heard those) and then idk eleven was weird abt it sometimes. and thirteen and yaz was only compelling for like...... the last three specials in which i was losing my mind over 'not such a bad date am i' etc but doesnt make a lot of sense cos there was like zero lead up to that lol.

doctordonna qpr is of course peak, tendonna as a ship is not, tenmartha is..... weird........ like i just cant see a way to keep everything canon that happened and make that not weird. elevenamy and amyrory are like..... ok. like sure amy was a little bit in love with the doctor but it was handled in a kinda boring way imo.

tensaxon is on one hand INCREDIBLY HOMOEROTIC but im sorry i just cant with last of the timelords like sorry but he just genocided earth. like i understand the tension but just eueuuegh. but then end of time part two rolls around and yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. twelvemissy is fantastic because she is trying so hard to cast off everything she's done and she Wants the doctor to love her even just a little bit in any way because she has nothing else left and they are the only people who could possibly understand each other. spydoc is interesting because its kinda an extension of the same - spymaster goes and burns down gallifrey after discovering their secrets because OF COURSE it centers on the doctor, just as everything always does, and he just wants her to understand everything and to realise that despite everything they belong together, the last of the timelords. but of course super messed up because of course.

twelveclara i dont think makes sense romantically but they're just so unhinged about each other especially on clara's part..... its like they're not romantically involved because they have to pretend to themselves that they think about each other a normal amount and in normal ways because otherwise they'd have to realise that whatever they've got going on is messed up.

tenrose has its moments. like it really does. the way he looks at her at the end of the christmas invasion. obviously bad wolf bay. but a lot of the time its like...... they really are just friends!!! but also its a codependant lesbian teenage situationship. except for when its platonic. ninerose has a few moments as well but not as much nine is too emotionally repressed. ninejackrose tenjackmartha has SO MUCH GOING ON i didnt even know where to put those on a dynamic scale because they dynamic has So Much Going On yknow but like........... theres something there......... it sure is happening.........

rose and tentoo is....... fine i guess. like roses ending was so tragic as it was but it was such a strong ending? and bringing her back for journeys end was really cool and i liked it but tentoo commits genocide and then tens like yup uhmmm so i'm dumping him here with you. without asking. but he's me and you're in love with me so its fine bye i'll go cry by myself. which was weird. idk. rose and mickey were only interesting as the counterpoint to roses obvious adoration for the doctor vs her normal teenager relationship with mickey.

river song and missy is crack ship lol but i do think it would have been so fabulous is we'd got some screen time of them together.

#anyways #i'll probably change my mind on most of these lol #doctor who #i wont tag everyone thats obnoxious #the doctor is greyaro and ace i will die on that hill but the Only actual romantic ship i like is thoschei cos its the most interesting #thirteenyaz just does something to me and i dont even know why it wouldnt have worked. it wouldnt have but ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh there were som #Moments™#i spent wayyy to long making this btw #like. damn i dont even ship 95% of these i just think they're interesting hypotheticals

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chrissturnsgirlll222 · 17 days

Text

second, never first

part seventeen

chris x fem!reader

summary - you grew up hating one guy all of high school but suddenly become friends, but as time goes on feelings develop, only its one sided.

warnings - swearing, kissing, use of y/n, mention of family issues, mention of domestic abuse (not between chris and reader), fluff

word count - 2k??

NOT PROOFREAD

chris and i both dosed off and i woke up with him on top of me with his face buried in to my neck. i hear my phone ringing and gently untangle myself from him to go answer it. he groans as i move from under him and i freeze, “sorry” i whisper and walk over to my phone on his desk.

i swear my face loses all its colour as i read, incoming call from mom.

i pick it up and run to the bathroom. shutting the door and sitting on the toilet and answering the phone.

“mom?” i saw in a low tone in hopes of no one hearing me. “y/n where have you been i havent seen you in 2 days now.” she croaked. my hand flies over my mouth as i feel tears pricking my eyes, “ive- um, ive been at a friends house mom.” my voice breaks. “are you ok?” i ask.

“yes sweetie im fine, why wouldnt i be fine.” she states. tears now falling from my eyes in shock as she is completely avoiding the fact that i witnessed my father abusing her right in front of me. “what do you mean ‘why wouldnt you be fine’. you know exactly what i mean by asking if your okay mom.” i whisper yell.

“y/n its fine your dad just had a moment-“ i cut her off. “mom stop avoiding the problem here! dad was abusing you, plain and simple. dont act like it didnt happen because i saw it with my own eyes.” i raise my voice. the tears flowing out of my eyes are full of pure anger and frustration, why the fuck is she acting like everything is ok. it absolutely is not. “its ok honey, i promise. just come home please. have news to tell you but i would rather tell you in person”

“ok. in not staying in that house with him though, i hope you know that.” i growl. “i understand, see you soon y/n.”

i hang up the phone and rest it on the counter dropping my head in to my hands as i feel as thought i should rip out every last strand of my hair. how am i supposed to go home and talk to her as if everything is normal. what about chris. i dont even think he would drive me to my house after what happened with my dad the last time, which i bet my mom doesnt even know about that. i angrily sigh, wiping my tears and get up from where im seated and grab my phone walking in to chris’ room. i walk in quietly to see chris face down head turned to the side with his phone in one hand. “baby, who called? you sounded angry.” chris mumbles as he hears me walking into the room, sitting upright.

my face flushes at him hearing me and i tense up. “um- my mom called. she wants me to go home for the night.” i basically whisper. “y/n no.” chris huffs, “i know chris but its my mom were talking about, i cant leave her alone forever.”

“what happens if your dad is there” he questions. i bring my arms up to hug myself. “chris i promise if anything happens i will text you immediately.” i walk over to him and sit on the edge of his bed. “i understand, just please be careful” he pulls me in to his lap and i wrap my arms around his shoulders. running my hands through his hair as his hands are on my back. “i dont ever want to see you that hurt again.” he says pressing a kiss to my forehead and i squeeze him closer to me. “ill be ok i promise.”

chris drove me to my house and would not let go of my hand the entire time, giving me nervous smiles here and there. “chris im going to my home, im not moving away forever.” i try to lighten the mood. “i know i just want you to be safe and dont forget to c-“ i cut him off.

“call you if i feel unsafe, babe i understand i promise.” i reassure. he pulls up to my house and leans over to kiss me. “i love you, be safe.” he whispers putting a hand to my cheek. i close my eyes and lean in to his palm putting my hand over his. i kiss the inside of his palm and lean in to kiss him again, “i love you.” i say before getting out. i walk towards my front door and chris doesnt leave until i get inside.

thankfully i didnt see my dads car on the drive way as i walk in, closing the door behind me and see my mom sitting on the couch which a mug of tea in her hand and shes watching tv. the house is clean and looks like absolutely nothing happened in here. “mom” she looks over at me and im surprised to see that she has no bruises or anything. she actually looks perfectly fine?

“y/n oh my god it feels so good to see you. you have no idea, i had no clue where you were.”

“i was with a friend, i couldnt be here after what happened.”

“yeah lets talk about that-“ she trails off mid conversation and goes to the kitchen. “i kicked your dad out, it was happening for years and knowing that you saw that side of him-“ she paused.

“it wasnt right letting you have to witness that, i should have done something when it began years ago.”

“years mom, years you have been letting him do that to you?” i croak.

“i know, im weak, fraile, a failure, a bad mom, vulnerable, but i stayed with him in hopes that you wouldnt grow up without a father.” she sighs. “mom if you were getting abused, leaving would have been better than being with him.” i console.

“your not weak, your the strongest person i know.”

her face warmed up and she walked towards me giving me a hug. the first hug i had gotten from my mom in years. she pulled away, “was that chris that dropped you off.” she smiled, “yeah.” i sniffle and wipe my tears away. “so are you guys dating now.” she prys. “mom right now is not the time to bring up my boy issues.” i roll my eyes.

“sweetie, right now is a time of celebration. we are both free, your dad was a sick mother fucker that i should have dumped years ago. i love him and always will but i couldnt let you see him like that again.”

“i understand.” i walked over to the kitchen counter and sat down. she couldnt take her eyes off me.

“something is so different about you today.” she admires, “mom i was gone for 2 days nothing about me changed that much.” i laugh. “oh really? your wearing a hoodie that says ‘sturniolo’ on the back” i look at chris’ hoodie and roll my eyes, “and your genuinely smiling.” she smiles, “you my daughter have a boyfriend.”

“hes not my boyfriend mom oh my god, i was at his house for 2 days and didnt really pack that heavy.” i try to explain. “y/n im not dumb. you have always liked that sturniolo boy. why didnt you stay with anna if your not dating chris?”

“anna and i arent friends anymore, shes a bitch.” my moms eyes go wide as i rarely swear around her. “ok, but your dating chris.”

“mommmmm.” i groan, “i know everything honey, theres no denying it.” i giggle and go to my room. checking my phone to texts from chris.

friday 12:34pm

chris: babe is everything ok?

chris: is your dad there?

chris: baby answerrr

chris: hellooooo????

i smile at my phone and respond

y/n: everything is ok, my mom actually kicked my dad out so everything is all good over here :))

chris: oh good good

chris: i love you have a good time with your mom sweet girl

i feel my heart squirm at him calling me sweet girl and i smiled to myself. god i love him.

me and mom spent the day together going grocery shopping and just being around eachother happily. my time away from chris just made me crave being around him. i never new someones presence could be so addictive, i just wanted to be with him at all times. i got in the shower around 7pm and while in the shower i decided on going to his house. getting out of the shower, brushing my teeth, doing skincare, blowdrying my hair and finally putting on his hoodie and some sweatpants. i give up on trying to impress him with my clothing as he has literally seen what i look like when i first wake up.

going downstairs my mom smiles at me, “have fun with your boyfriend!” she says in a taunting tone, “not my boyfriend.” i sing song back at her.

mom mentioning chris as my boyfriend made me think about our situation. we love eachother but he has yet to ask to be my boyfriend. i wonder if i should bring it up to him, would that ruin stuff? i mean we pretty much call eachother our fake boyfriend and girlfriend already. what would hurt about making it real boyfriend and girlfriend. this is so confusing god. for people in books its so simple to transition from talking to dating but i am completely overthinking this.

i pull up to chris’ house and knock on the door, waiting for someone to open it and his mom opens it, “y/n! we werent expecting you, come in come in.”

“hi, sorry for barging in like this i just came to see chris.” i smiled, “oh chris? yeah hes just up in his room, you can join us for dinner me and jimmy just got back from our trip and we heard lots about you while we were away.” she chuckles.

i make my way upstairs and knock on his door, “who is it?” he yells, i crack open the door and i see him at his gaming chair. he looks over and his face lights up, “y/n! come sit.” he says patting the spot on his bed that is close to his setup. he mutes his mic and turns around and i sit down. he puts his hands on my knees and leans in to peck my lips. “i missed you, i didnt know you were coming here.”

“well i missed you so i decided to come hangout for a bit.” i say. “your mom invited me for dinner.” i chuckled. “matt told mom we were together now so shes eager to get to know you.” he says and i gasp.

“were together?”

“i mean yeah.” he says furrowing his eye brows, “well you didnt even ask me to be your girlfriend yet.”

“y/n l/n will you be my girlfriend?” he grins, “chris sturniolo yes i will.”, ok so that was easy. i pull him in for a kiss and move to sit on his lap. i sit with my legs curled up against his thigh and my back to the arm rest of his gaming chair with my arms wrapped around his torso. “you smell good.” he says kissing the top of my head while playing his game. “well i would hope so i just showered.”

“your so annoying im trying to be sweet, your so literal.” he chuckles. “well you love me anway” i say kissing his cheek.

“mhm” he places another kiss on the top of my head and i cuddle into his torso even more.

thanks for reading xx

taglist: @sleepysturnss @blahbel668 @alorsxsturn @w4nnabeurs @junnniiieee07 @waydasims @matthewloverr @bitchydragonparadise @matthewsturnioloswifey @iloveneilperry y @stunza @realuvrrr @sturnsjtop @tubl-mc @lilsstvrn @sturniololol l @sturnssmuts @emlovesthesturniolos s

a/n: love you all!!! sorry this took forever to come out <333

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harmcityherald · 3 months

Text

Seems I wrote this back in march. Why I never set it out I dunno. Enjoy.

we watched leon the professional 2 nights ago. she didn't like it. found it boring. but that's not why im babbling. I look at some pages.

so that's what people do. never reveal anything about yourself. paint fake emotions across digital pages that will disappear. no one showing their true self. Like a group of vampires never actually showing your true selves to each other. You isolate yourself from the world. You isolate yourself from the people around you. You isolate yourself from your family. And you wonder why you are alone. I don't think that I've ever had a normal relationship. Not even the beginning ones. I could say a whole bunch of shit about how good I am but really I am not that good. You see for yourself that I try to create things to occupy me and to distract me from a number of different things. So sure, I've admitted that I'm a jerk. I wasn't always the jerk but nine times out of 10 you can put your money on it. I have admitted to swearing a life long blood oath with myself to kill my father. And I absolutely 100% meant that. I wrote that other places where Missy picked it up and read it, it actually gave me some pleasure for her to know how I felt. But it wasn't something that I did or something I carried through with. But that was real and the thought was there and I admit that. I've admitted to quite a few crimes as I Babble on my blog. Quite a few things that weren't exactly crimes but may well should have been. I wasn't always bad. I have this inbred thing about helping people. I know, what a fucked up cliche, but yeah I do got that. Unfortunately. Much to my great consternation.

Maybe I ought to be scared about writing the things I do but for some reason I just am not. I have been in the halls of NSA and if they let me in there I must have passed a few psychological or whatever stupid secret shit they do before they let you into their little world. So am I scared that the CIA is listening to me? Yes I absolutely made your men's restroom smell like tetrahydrocannabinol. I don't think they care I don't think any of you care I don't think anybody in the world cares. I have no idea why I somehow feel the need to keep documenting the Dismal life I have and all my problematic feelings because I'm a Gen X male, although there are a couple people out there who will argue that point with you. Artemisia being one. Im no man to her. I know I should just shut up and reblog pictures of chickens and be just like everybody else not letting anybody get to know me I mean what the fuck nobody likes me anyway it's not like there's a whole bunch of people out there listening to me. In fact judging by the notes I receive pretty much hardly nobody reads me anyway. So what does it really matter what I say. And besides that I've got nobody else in this whole freaking planet to talk to so I'll fucking talk to my phone. Or no one as it were. Smeagol in your notes. Everyone hates Smeagol. Smeagol knows that. But I don't have the energy to be bitter anymore. I am also more like Leon than she thinks. My plants are my friends they don't talk to me they don't argue with me they don't call me horrid names and leave social booby traps for me. None of them take advantage of me. All they asked me for is love and Sun and water. They rely on me as much as I rely on them. People are just no good. Even me. my death will be either a poisoning or a swan dive off my favorite bridge. just waiting to sign those papers.

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