#im gonna go hunting now
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screaming crying throwing up bc online friends are so weird like why cant i hug u guys this is so stupid
#idk like would we get along irl???#realistically potentially not but like STILLLLLL#uGHhHHhHHh#but fr tho like#i thinn about online friendships so much and how mutuals =/= friends but also like at what point are u more than just mutuals#and youre actually friends yknow and then like what if i consuder people friends but they dont#but also like in a way idc if we're friends or not bc your made an impact on my life and will forever be a part of it#and idr if this was from someones fic or from a book i read#but theres a line SOMEWHERE out there (wait i think i know where) about how like#(character) will always be a part of (main characters) story or smth#i cant remember exactly and i think it was from a fic but i think said fic has been taken down ARGH#but it wad SUCHHHH a fricken good line#and i definitely oaraphrased it wrong so i am so sorry#im gonna go hunting now#kat talks#anyways my point is that i love my online friends and those i consider friends even if they dont consider me a friend LOL#UPDATE FOUND IT AND I DEFINOTELY REMEMBERED THE LINE WRONG BUT IT DOESNT MATTER
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i am asleep much in the way that Wally is asleep. that is to say, I Am Not Sleeping
#gave it my best shot for a minute there#really made an effort. its Not Working#see this is what happens when your sleep schedule is Fucked and you usually go to bed when the sun comes up#on a normal night id be jammin to tunes. scribbling with reckless abandon#tonight however i am at Someone Elses place so i need to be Quiet#i need to Sleep i am Driving tomorrow#brain wont cooperate tho. brains a bitch. id like to be unconchus#OH SHIT OH!!! I DO HAVE A JOKE I CAN MAKE BARNABY USE!!!#I HAVE A COUPLE OF OCEAN BASED ONES! FUCK!#sorry train of thought took a detour#im tired. today was mostly very good. had lots of Fun <3#experienced something new! several somethings!!#and now im lamenting my wide-awakeness in a dark room#my hunting gathering badass self is Bored as Hell#and so: wally scribble of him sharing my woes#scribble salad#not gonna tag it as anything else
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just thinking out loud here but i feel like a lot of popular perception of kon esp in online fandom spaces is colored by his joie de vivre and all the times he's silly and goofy. which i do of course adore!! i love when he's silly and goofy. but comparing that perception to, that of like, clark or kara, i feel like kon gets shunted into the box of "dumb comic relief character" a lot more easily. lots of factors probably contribute to that (sb94 having a bad rep, while no other kon comic really goes into a lot of his tragedy; conflation with the side of the fandom that doesn't read comics; the fact that comparatively postcrisis kara doesn't have a team the way kon has yj and clark is seen as a more capable adult, so other characters in the jl get the "dumb comic relief" short end of the stick more often; etc) ...
... but what really gets me about him is that he does embody a lot of the same traits as the rest of the kryptonian superfam. he's so extremely kind. he's got that same noble heart as the rest of them; he cares about everyone and he wants to protect everyone. and he's so, so lonely. he struggles between cultures and worlds where he feels like he doesn't belong to either. he is so strong and capable and holds so much power that it scares him.
cradles him gently in my hands. he contains multitudes... come closer don't you want to love him 🥺
#rimi talks#i'm mostly drawing parallels here between kon clark and kara:#the almost divine loneliness. the struggle to fit in. the kindness and deep deep love and desire to help others.#ofc that isn't getting into Every member of the superfam like linda or kenan or anyone else bc that would be a MUCH bigger post#but i'm mostly picking these 3 bc. well i'm a postcrisis girlie first of all. and also theyre the 3 i think fandom acknowledges most?#at least in my perception of it! (now whether fandom acknowledges them in accurate ways. well no bc nobody knows kara past the basics. but.#(that's a whole other post. this one's about how kon DOES in fact also share the loneliness and noble heart and everything with them. augh)#kon#i was really tempted to go pull panels from rots/sb94/etc to illustrate each point (loneliness nobility kindness etc) but#im SUPPOSED to be writing fic right now. theres a dick on that page that aint gonna suck itself#so back to the writing mines with me. but i was just thinking about kon. (i know. shocking)#also i had to go hunting for the 🥺 emoji bc my recents are entirely filled with fish lately. fjhdskjfh#anywhoozies. mines. farewell
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red team are FULLY going feral im so here for it, cellbit vouching for cannibalism and getting excited, baghera wanting to build a dirt shack and everyone wanting to crawl into a cave and chase people through the woods
#qsmp#qsmp liveblogging#end of the event the other two teams are gonna have interpersonal conflicts to worry about#meanwhile red are having trouble being reintroduced to their own society because they went completely rabid#if they do get all the eggs back chayanne and tallulah watching their dad burrow even further into the wall and snarl and hiss at people as#they approach#missa's avoiding own home at first not just for fear of being a burden on his husband and family now but bc he hasnt had his rabies shot#cellbit gets EVEN WORSE somehow and roier dives down the rabbit hole with him not because purgatory made him feral but bc it made him#bloodthirsty and he loves his husband ESPECIALLY at his worst#leo gets back and doesnt notice a change at first bc her dad always barks at ppl and wants to hunt bbh for sport but the eating ppl is new.#if pomme finds out her mother nearly gave up on saving her shes distraught until she sees the state of baghera#living in a dirt shack and eating human flesh#charlie gets back to eggxile with a new craving for human flesh and a new distrust for codeflippa bc hes said it out loud now and knows in#his heart its not her but how can he let go when he has nothing but her and the other cannibal freaks he trauma bonded with in purgatory#jaiden would be more upset about cellbit killing fed workers but by the end of the 2 weeks she gets him a little now. shed never turn on th#federation ofc but she gets it a little bit.#and differences aside green and red have all bonded now over a shared murderous rage towards bbh lmao#pac is afraid not only of cellbit but all of red now. too afraid to leave the lab.#you get the jist its 2am im going to bed lmao#(lying)#qsmp spoilers
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hi, sorry but if possible could i get help clearing this overdraft? i’m still unemployed unfortunately but i do take comissions because i’m finally in a safe living situation- you can dm with references if you wanna help! if you can’t help directly reblogging would be really appreciated. tysm for reading
0/11.08 as of 04/13/23
paypal | venmo | cashapp
#donations#mutual aid#aughh#im still job hunting now that im like#not in a household where i have instense ptsd episodes in#but its hard. like im only now starting to actually get back into routine#i had a really bad mental breakdown last week that i almost jumped out the balcony over but sigh. im fine now i think#have to keep moving have to keep living#i cant let my trauma kill me & i wanna do a lot of things & its not hopeless#rrrr... gonna stop thinking about this now & go back to clearing my emails
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Anyway prohibitedwish dark medieval mystery drama au. The story is interjected every so often by prismo and scarab arguing over what should happen next
#random thoughts#adventure time#over time scarab learns to accept when things dont go his way (especially when prismo has a very good idea)#and prismo gets help working through his depression through the beauty of creating with another person (euphamism for gay sex lol)#hey prismo why do you want to collab with scarab hmm? to create life with another man? pretty gay it does seem#anyway in the beginning they argue because scarab wants stuff to go his way#and prismo keeps bringing up bad ideas and wanting to put jake-esque characters in everything#prismo is. not very creative#anyway their universe ends up following a sheriff and a self-declared wizard in the late-12th century (so around robin hood times)#as the sheriff hunts down a group of bandits#(prismo ends up really liking the bandits and thinking the sheriff sucks balls for hunting them down and scarab's like you just dont get it)#the self-declared wizard is very much a conman hawking snake oil (i do NOT sound like that is. very commonly interjected by prismo)#there is no magic. prismo keeps trying to put magic in there. scarab keeps shutting him down#scarab ends up trying to kill off the wizard for a dramatic moment and prismo gets upset about it#'it's a tragedy! it's supposed to be sad!' 'but WHAT IS THE POINT??? it's just tragedy for the sake of tragedy!'#'if your plan this whole time was to make me upset then congrats!!! you made everyone's friend prismo upset. im gonna do something else now'#prismo disappears and scarab feels. bad. it doesn't feel good.#eventually prismo comes back in to apologize for getting too into the story and leaving in a huff and shit and surprise!!!#the wizard is still alive! scarab LISTENED and he CONCEDED and CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT BABEY!!!#now the ending of the story they were trying to tell is more bittersweet instead of a full-on 'everyone's dead or sad' thing#btw the sheriff and the wizard end up kissing and prismo and scarab are both VERY awkward about it#scarab still likes dark edgy stuff but he recognizes the universe he created with prismo is a SHARED project and he's been kind of a pill
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Hi im back . For some time
#.mimiming ❜#um . hi im gonna slee soon but i missed you all so much#umm first of all im trying to ccut down in screentime because my therapist told me to#second. after two or three months of convincing myself that i literally do not care im only going to school for just a few more days (onl#y today and wednesday) i literally do not care#i almost keep crying . because well um#idk. i was originally planning on cutting off contact with everyone#because of stuff thats happened before#but my friends. my current friends dont just treat me as a therapist or something so#also one of my wives would probably hunt me down and kill me if i tried to cut off contact#but ill still miss this stupid class and this stupid school and all the stupid teachers and students#and the horrible tasting canteen food#and the playground ive played in eight times total despite being here for 12 years#idk man#also because of my periods my mood swings were so much worse#and i just ..idk i needed a break ig#anyways im back for sometime then ill start looking for a job#me friend said maybe we can do something together#idk#you can always send me asks and dms tho 👍👍#im not really sure . like about anything right now#ill try to get the drawing requests done soon maybe#wild how time passes huh#god i need to stop acting like such a grownup im literally three years old
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Good morning. Time to die
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pushing daisies kaishin au #1
shinichi was killed by aptx 4869 but for some reason kaito was in tropical land as well and passed by where shinichi's dead body was, touched him, and brought him back to life.
kaito is aware he can bring dead things back to life with one touch since he was a kid. he’s also aware that the second touch will kill it again. permanently.
he has most of his resurrection experiences with his doves and flowers
the thought that he could possibly resurrect a human did cross his mind but what's the use when the one person he wanted to bring back didn't even have a body left to touch
so sue him if he accidentally touches a dead body he previously thought was someone just passed out.
there's a noticeable red glow that shines on the stranger that has happened enough to his doves and flowers he revived before to know exactly what he has done.
shinichi wakes up disoriented but completely sure that the searing heat and the pain on his chest earlier should've killed him yet there he was, alive. with a splitting headache and a bad taste in his mouth, yes, but alive.
kaito dumbly opens with, "you're alive...oh FUCK, you were dead!"
shinichi who still can’t see straight says, “which one is it, i can’t tell.”
shinichi sits up and tries to steady himself on the wall but instead weakly flails his hand towards kaito.
"NO! DON’T TOUCH ME!"
“okay...i’m not sure if i’m dead or not but i’m pretty sure i’m not contagious.”
kaito puts on his KID gloves and pulls shinichi up who's still looking dazed and confused.
"listen, i know you're a little disoriented what with all th- shit! your head is bleeding. okay *deep breathes* come with me but do NOT touch me."
"you're the one holding my hand"
"not the UNCLOTHED parts of me"
"I wasn't planning to 😒"
"OH MY GOD 🙄"
i still have 2 other variations of pushing daises kaishin au left ;)
#kaishin#kuroba kaito#kudou shinichi#dcmk#detective conan#dc prattles#im not adding the 'someone else dies when you let someone you revived live for more than a minute' rule because im gods weakest soldier lmao#but that's also a really great factor to think about if you want to go the super very angsty route#anyways this been in the drafts since forever cos i havent finished the other 2 but oh well here you go have this silly au#also also toichi 'died' and there's no body so kaito won't even be able to revive him one last time ;-;#i say 'died' cos i dont really know if this man is really dead or not lmao#ANYWAYS now shinichi needs to disappear#idk how but shinichi ends up staying with kaito and also finding out that he's kid#shinichi describes to kaito that the people who did that to him were 'men in black' and immediately kaito assumes it might be snake and co#im thinking maybe since agasa isn't there to talk some sense into him that shinichi would be like 'im gonna hunt them down as myself!'#and kaito is like BITCH YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YOU'RE DEALING WITH#kaito gets frustrated and ends up vaguely implying that he knows who tried to kill him#OFC BEFORE ALL THIS SHINICHI QUESTIONS KAITO ABOUT WHAT TF HAPPENED COS HE'S 99.9% SURE HE WAS DEAD lol#again since im gods weakest soldier and pandora is deus ex machina my beloved LOL#a way to revive shinichi properly is through pandora or maybe make kaito lose his power#IDK I JUST WANT THEM TO KISS AND MAKE OUT SO PANDORA DO YOUR IMMORTALITY THING IDC!!!!!!#THAT FUCKING PLASTIC WRAP KISS FROM THE ACTUAL SHOW WONT FLY WITH ME I NEED KAISHIN SUCKING FACE LMAOOO#anyways theres 2 more different pushing daises kaishin au in the draftsssss#they get angstier ayooo!!!
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g-good morning everyone
#welp. gonna have to hunt down gb now. not sure if im gonna throttle them or kiss them w tongue. but here we go#text tag
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I have come to the grim realization that Fitzjames in the white coat (dare I say the Ikea monkey look) is no longer thirstable for me because I suddenly realized he looks exactly like my mom in the 90s and now it's weird.
#and not in like a oh haha my mom before i was born way i mean that he looks uncannily like my memory of her 😭#im half expecting this man to tell me to stay out of the living room bc hes gonna watch scary mothman documentaries :(#which is basically all my mom did in the 90s besides working on like. y2k compliance stuff in a basement#listen its the brown hair and kind eyes and a similar style and color to my moms autistic comfort jacket lol#i will probably forget this by tomorrow but its definitely a weird feeling lol#it was just kind of a weird realization to have this late in the AM and now im too busy going down memory lane to thirstpost#fun fact she used to leave me with my grandma so she could go ghost hunting in the middle of the night at the cemetery down the road#and would come back just smelling PROFOUNDLY of outdoors and cigarettes and would show me her spooky polaroids
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a handful of chinese songs that give me big robit energy
translating cpop songs is like my second favourite hobby so it's frankly surprising I haven't made this post sooner
Him - Floruitshow (马 - 福禄寿)
I've talked about this song on here before but this is the 3.7 song for me
the second chorus is definitely MR-SN but i like to think of the first chorus (Let me take a good look at your visage as we count down the time till the curtains’ close. Forgive me for holding back my voice so soon, do you know, in your graceful escape, all I see around me is disaster?) as VR-LA during the flashback sequence
specifically 'all I see around me is disaster' because yeah not wrong
'This time I’m not here to bring you home' just kills me like the please please take care of yourself because I can't be there with you anymore of it all
'Oh spring, oh warm sun, please come sooner, grant him a smooth and safe journey' same point, just the desperate plea for the universe to protect VR-LA because he can't do it himself anymore
How can I make you stay - Floruitshow (我用什么把你留住 - 福禄寿)
(conveniently I have actually done a full translation of this song!)
definitely one of the Maxim songs of all time
"You’ve believed that you can let your life pass in numbness, but [...] why do your tears fall in the moment of letting go?' YEAH because we've seen so many times how Maxim keeps trying to convince himself that he can stop just caring but it never works
'You say don’t fall in love, yet you’re unwilling to let go' same point, this man is in such denial about how he just can't stop caring
specifically the second verse feels a lot like Maxim waiting for VR-LA to return from Tu'narath
'You stay silent, holding onto starlight as you wait through your darkest hour. Your mind is struck, when familiar murmurs pierce your ears once more' aaaAAAAHH
the bridge (?) as a conversation between VR-LA and Maxim, VR-LA inviting Maxim to see the beauty and wonders of the world ('Do you want to see the sea of flowers blooming?', very 4.5 wedding invite honestly) but Maxim's trauma just would not allow him to take that risk ('If none of them come back, then who should I live for?')
fun fact the second version of the bridge in my translation ('You must stay to see the flowers bloom' onwards) is exclusive to that live performance of the song so it's not in the spotify version i linked here. as for which version you think fits Maxim more.. well.
Borrow - Mao Buyi (借 - 毛不易)
finally banging out a translation for this song was kinda the inspiration for me to make this post actually
the tldr of this song is that it's an unnamed/unidentified speaker asking to borrow various small things for the sake of somebody else (like 'an inch of frozen sunlight' to provide warmth in a cold world) so you can probably see where i'm going with this
'A simple ‘we have plenty of time’ etched into the soul to prepare for the chance of forced separation' ouch ow okay
'Those blown apart by these winds will say that they never loved deeply' / 'There is a sincerity that cannot be blown apart by this wind' DX-TR betraying the old crew vs VR-LA fighting through so much just to get them back
'There are tears that cannot be washed away by this rain' this line just haunts me. like in general
'An acre of land for him to call home, an ordinary life for him to live' as MR-SN watching over the old crew like I can't be there for you but I hope you will find peace and a home...
#rolling with difficulty#rwd starship#rwd professionals#my feel good hobby! as opposed to art: my feel bad hobby /j#im actually learning to play how can i make you stay on the guitar right now its a lot of fun but ow my fingers#ive also found a score for him but its super outside my skill level so we'll see how that goes#bmadd11 my beloathed#/also/ working on a little something based on that song but that wont... come into play for at least the next few weeks so#its an absolute monster of a project and school has started so i dont have high hopes for getting it done soon#i dont think i got to mention this on the actual post for borrow but ive literally been spinning that song in my brain since like 2020#genuinely. i've been thinking about how to translate that song for upwards of 3 years#grammar is just weird sometimes#i was gonna include let's go wandering by bibi zhou but i couldve SWORN i wrote a translation for that song before i just cant FIND it#spent 30 minutes hunting for the doc in my drive thats 30 minutes of my life wasted#but 'lets go wandering with a smile because we carry our home in our hearts' just fucks severely#also considered including forget your sorrows when the flowers bloom by zhou shen#bc im not gonna make a cpop post and *not* try and subject more poeple to zhou shen#but like that songs vibe is too... cottagecore to really make a good point there im just obsessed with one specific line#'If my memories are stolen and I forget all my love; I'll say to you “Hello!”#post amnesia vrla to the old crew??? the 'i dont know you. id love to get to know you again' of it all????#did this instead of my programming homework :|
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i hate having a job interview that i thought went quite well and then i'm regretfully informed that i have not been selected for the position 😭
#i hate job hunting while unemployed it makes me feel like absolute shit#but at least im working on my mental health. i saw a psychiatrist and was open and honest with her and it was really validating#we are working on moving me over to different meds to treat my depression so im hopeful#last year when i was going through this same thing i remember thinking that i wanted to want to get better. but i just didnt have it in me#and now i do. i want to get better (cue i wanna get better by bleachers!). and im gonna do it!#mumbles
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ooc: stands here covered in blood holding starbucks in my reusable travel cup
#;; ooc.#do y'all still love me after dipping without a word again dignskfnfosj#not me trying to fill out a job application at 1am and then being like 'why wont my brain make the words go'#TRYING NOT TO GET PSYCHED OUT my god i hate this shit#pretty sure theyre not supposed to ask you half of the shit they are asking so im just#going to research a few things after i have slept to get a refresher on what my rights to privacy are#sir this is a local grocery store not the secret service i just want money can you give me the job or not#anyway im gonna be away/lurking for a while longer fam squad while i miss talking its been nice to have a break and just focus on irl things#two wins! washing machine has been repaired and i finally got my hands on some second hand boots that i have been hunting for 3 years#the seller was super nice and put up a buy now option when i asked if they would :)))#OH also got a new microwave AND managed to free my garlic bread from the broken one (it required surgery) (taking it apart)
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BEAT A KING GLEEOK IN THE DEPTHS AFTER LIKE 75 HOURS OF PAINSTAKINGLY AVOIDING NORMAL GLEEOKS THE ENTIRE GAME
I GOT A HAT
#depths' talks#totk#depths plays#not necessarily a spoiler i dont think#but the adrenaline and terror (i am a coward in video games) still got me TREMBLING#but i. wanted that cheast so badly#in the depths whenever u see an arena like that with a locked chest#i KNOW its armor. i know it#and ive given up on majoras mask. i can barely fight one red lynel four of increasing level is impossible#but THIS ONE?#i didnt know this enemy and this ignorance was bliss#plus its a battle relying HEAVILY on archery rather than swordplay#which is my strong suit#so now that i know how to kill it#i will proceed to systematically hunt down and slaughter all of them.#hat not included. now i yearn for bloodshed#ANYWYA im gonna go write a FIGHT SCENE YEAHHH#everry new thing i do in totk i instantly write a small segment ajkdhbaks#never finish em bc i go back to playing but ive got a handful of snippets now#ill expand on and post all of them eventually!
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