#im feeling so upset and scared | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

badlydrawn-brostrider · 4 months

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TG: hey TG: fuck- im TG: im sorry TG: i didnt know where else to go and- TG: fuck- i dont know TG: this is so stupid TG: sorry

@shitty-davesprite-daily

[ The first thing you see when you open the door is blood. It's bright fucking neon yellow but you know its blood. Right after that the words finally register and you recognize the trembling figure. ]

BRO: Dave?

[ He's hurt. Someone hurt him. Someone hurt your kid and you weren't there. ]

[ Your heart shatters at his little voice. It'd be funny that he's repeating back to you exactly what you told D if you were thinking about anything besides how fragile he looks. ]

BRO: Shit- lil' bird? What the fuck happened? Fuck-- Don't apologize.

[ Your lungs squeeze and stomach drops. You reach out but stop yourself from touching him. Every instinct screams to pull him into your arms and hold him, comfort and protect him, but you can't. He's so scared already, you don't want to cause him any more distress. ]

BRO: Who did this to you?

#milo has been sending me strider angst all morning save me #sobs #bro is so fuckin worried and mad at himself bexajse #because an anon TOLD him sometbing was wrong and he brushed it off #he feels guilty and upset and fuxk thats his kid covered in blood and scared and trembling and-#im normal #bro strider #dirk strider #dave strider #davesprite #homestuck ask blog #hom3stuck #homestuck #asks

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pup-pee · 1 month

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jokes @ night r not funny in the morning,,,

originally the blue was green but then i decided 2 b pan

#dont even ask me what i was trying 2 accomplish #CAUSE IDKKK #sighs @ least they look cute igg #bart is still hard 4 ne 2 draw idk sobbs #also i seem 2 draw him in a lot of tanktops while i draw kon in a lot of crop tops #i just ?????????#anyways i literally have no idea wtf this means #it was supposed 2 b silly & funny but if ur evil u could make it angsty #not me thoo…..i would neever #cause what kind of sick freak does that #((its me im the sick freak))#no but this is supposed 2 b silly ITS JUST RLLY NOT FUNNY IDK #konbart #kart #still 2 scared 2 but it in their main tags or whateverrrr #NO BC LIKE I DONT WANNA GET RIPPED APART #omggg the reason y it looks more angst is bc i put the ‘dw’ isnt itttt #ughhhhhhh #ok sure whatever GRRR AAAAAA #i have a better kart drawing idea but this 1 was easier 2 draw #brrrr #i feel like im just mostly going 2 b drawing kart 2day oh man #((i say this like i dont draw them everyday))#puppee art #holy u can rlly tell i h8 stabalizers batman #i say ‘line arts my fav part’ but i dont actually do nice line art idfkkk yyyy but mayb its bc u dont need clean lineart 2 render stuff???#@ least i dont #man i should render smth its been so long since ive like ‘completed’ a full drawingg #HELP IM STILL UPSET HOW I DREW BART I LIKE I JUST DONT WANT 2 DRAW HIM LOOKING LIKE A KID BUT LIKE OTS KINDA HARD WHEN HES NEXT 2 KON THIS I

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cinnamon-phrog · 12 days

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GUYS!!!!!!! GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!! LOOK WHAT CAME IN THE POST TODAY

MY SILLIES!!!!!! THE THREE OF THEM!!!!!

I taught myself to plait properly just so I can do Reds' hair [I find I can do someone elses' hair but not my own yet]

I had a chocolate bunny for easter and kept the bell and ribbon and I think it looks cute asf on Duck <33 I tied the bow myself it looks a bit shabby but idrc

Also I had a little jumper from another plush I had and I think it looks cosy on Yellow :3

#i'm more or less back to normal now. my headaches come and go #if i wasn't feeling better then i sure am now despite how. almost embarrassed i am for how awful last week was for me #dhmis #dont hug me im scared #don't hug me i'm scared #f/o #fictional other #selfshipping #selfshipper #selfship #selfship community #selfshipping community #selfshipper community #f/o community #fictional other community #polyamourous selfship #poly selfship #🎨🌻#👄🍝#🦆📋#🚦🏠#sooooooooooooooooo many tags omfg but i'm just so happy that i finally got these i'd like to spread my joy quite far #months of waiting and saving up and then months of waiting for kidrobot [who are awesome and reached out to me when i asked for help]#so many upsets by people being weird about how Yellow was described in one [1] synopsis of the plush [ew btw i trusted you man. womp womp]#i may still be anxious but these guys will help my anxiety <333

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sugarcandydoll · 1 month

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i feel so awful :(

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piplupod · 2 months

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i feel like i am losing my mind a little bit bc i spent over half of my counselling appt talking about my fear of spiders and this lady kept telling me i should just kill them, and that the only way to get over my fear is to kill them, and i shouldnt catch and release them anymore ??

and now i am thinking about it and wondering do they actually remember how to get into the house,,,,,, if i put them way on the other side of the house in the garden under a plant where its safe, will they just... come back inside? because I don't remember ever seeing any duplicates of spiders that I caught and released, it seems to always be a different looking one each time so :|

but she just seemed so confused and kind of amused by me trying to explain how i think that like... every life has value and I don't think I should be killing spiders if I can avoid doing that. and she straight up laughed at me saying that they are fascinating very interesting little critters.

i don't know, i just feel kind of sick i think. that was just really not what i was expecting and I'm confused like... is this ... the only way I can get over my fear of them? to just start killing them whenever i find one in the house?? that doesn't seem right at all to me but maybe I'm being too soft or something

they talk about values in DBT and how you must make sure your actions don't go against your values, and this seems very backwards to that, especially since this woman started the DBT program at the hospital. so i feel like maybe it's wrong of her to be telling me this, but also maybe she's right about this. idk !!!

#im just very confused #i just... should we not extend kindness to insects when we can?#like yes theyre creepy crawlies and they get into things but... they are also living creatures #they have inherent value just on account of being alive #maybe i am too sentimental or soft or smth idk im really upset abt this fdsjkl #i've always felt this way idk dsfjkl it is just a part of me i guess #i dont like how so many humans think they are top of the chain and everything else is lesser and below them #i dont think we should be feeling like we have total dominion over all the other living things on earth #its... a very white christian colonizer way of thinking. in my opinion anyways. maybe im wrong idk #i can't google the thing abt if spiders have a good memory and sense of direction bc i will find Too Much info or photos #and i . would like to sleep tonight.#im already so agitated though so idk but fsdjkl im kind of scared what i might find by lookign things up #pippen needs 2nd breakfast #spider tw

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seariii · 3 months

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Hum...

#im just thinking... im okay tho /gen #just thinking about the words the bestie said to me after I told him about my mental health...#particularly a phrase... he just said 'you are already committed' and when i asked what he meant he said 'to life'#its just... idk... it was impressive and had such a weird feeling... sadly i guess i am committed........ 'sadly' huh....#sigh another important thing was that it was crucial i went back to therapy... i dont really want to tho...#but 'youve been feeling like this for a long time you need help' ... sigh... what i need is...#the future is so scary... sigh... okay #ill put an alarm to wake up earlier tomorrow and work on that!#seari talks #what i need is adderall- jsjsjsjsjs yeah... alr im sleepy time to mimir #tomorrow ill catch up with everything i missed too #also if anyone reads this dont worry pretty person! i got a bit scared/upset up there but its okay #im quite stable right now! at least enough to survive for a couple days! so yup!#miiiight have to look up a new therapist tho... since aside from help i wanna get a diagnosis....#sigh... but okay that's not for rn seari it's for future seari. rn seari has to go mimir because shes tired #a mimir a mimir pat pat pat

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angel-of-sweet-revenge · 4 days

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When your friend needs you to be there to comfort them, but you have no energy for serious conversations and so you're stuck wondering if youre being a selfish asshole or if youre justified in not wanting to be the one to sort their problems out

#vent #its not like they didnt offer to hear my problems. but i just dont want to talk about. or anything #i dont want serious conversations. i dont want to have to worry about other people. i just cant.#im just so fucking exhausted and i dont know if its talking to them and feeling drained by the fact that theyre going through something-#-and that i need to be the therapist or if im just sick. again.#plus yesterday i slept late. my mum made me cry (i think she was just tired out by that point in the day so i doubt it was personal)#and just #im fucking tired ok #and I'm sorry im a bad friend #i just dont have energy. i want to have good energy around me to try give me some.#but when theyre upset it gets into me and drains me and I've been there as much as i can but i just cant right now. im too tired #i know im a shitty person but literally everyone got to be a shitty person at my expense so isnt it my fucking turn?#and then assuming i was acting like that to hurt them. I DO NOT WANT TO HURT ANYONE. IF WE HAVE A FIGHT I WANT TO MOVE ON.#I'm not gonna be caught up in it if we resolved it #but yeah. long story short they're going through shit and i feel like shit #and i think them going through shit is what makes me feel like shit. because i worry about them #and they can lash out on me #i just dont know anymore. i dont know if im an awful person or not #last year i broke up with a friend and my mum said I'll do the same with the next friend #it wasnt my fault #that friend ghosted me #im trying not to be her rn too and im scared that ive been in the wrong im scared im a shitty person too #but at the same time im too done to even really care #i just wanna stop fucking feeling all this and just get on with my day

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sapphicsnzs · 2 months

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im so grateful for this corner of the internet where i can just get my frustrations out

#self obs #i will delete this later but i just need to get it out #i told my two best friends about how i got rejected and they both were just like move on lol #like i don’t think they realize how awful i feel right now like literally that was my dream and im scared im never gonna be able to do it #i also somehow have to tell my parents and that’s a whole different problem #my parents are already up my ass about me quitinh my job for no reason #well basically i think they’re trying to get me to move home for the summer which doesn’t make sense to quit my job i’ve been working at #for almost a year to come back and get a job for a month #but like i can’t think of another reason that my parents would randomly want me to quit my job #so i’m stressed about that and now i also have to tell them i got rejected and now i can’t start the part of my degree that i need for my #fucking job and fuck i’m so stressed and don’t know what to do #and im just like so embarrassed and everyone is acting like its not a big deal even tho like if i apply again i probably won’t even get it #because i didn’t even make it past the interview phase and anyways im just so upset with myself and everything #i like actually thought my life was turning around and i was gonna be happy finally but nope #anyways this is just me sobbing and trying to let out my frustrations because no one will actually listen or validate that i’m upset #whatever im gonna go drink some wine and probably pass out on the floor of my room

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strangerhands · 2 months

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if any of you ever notice me liking, un-liking, and re-liking your posts, (sometimes multiple times a day. sometimes multiple days apart.) please (try to) ignore me. i am sorry. i am insane. thank you. have a good day

#i like actually have issues #i need to ''line up'' and semi-organize my likes (which act as my bookmarks)#and like. it drives me insane when things arent how i Need them to be.#like for example three fics of the same character need to be one after the other and stuff #it goes kinda deeper and more insane but just to give you a general idea #so catch me constantly liking and unliking and reliking things a billion times #also do it to like put some things back at the top of my likes because so much gets buried so quickly and i just need to remember its there #both with things i that havent read yet and with things that i want to reread #i feel like so insane and annoying about it all the time🧎but like its just something that i Need to do...#like it actually kind of upsets me #if i dont. but also when i do.#it also honestly makes me scared/nervous that people will get really annoyed and or weirded out by it if they see/notice it happen:/#i definitely have further mental issues #anyways #basically just im sorry and please ignore me #talkin shit #maybe i should talk to someone about this. or go down the research rabbit hole. aaaaaaaanyways.#goodnight!#it is 8am and i dont know how im still awake!#this was a certified talkin shit post #absolute wall of tags jesus #sorry :p #if you read all of this. i am sorry and i love you (big deal for me)#(another issue of mine)#🧍#hashtag unnecessary off putting weirdo rant😝#my specialty #okay bye #just had to edit this post a billion times.#woah tag limit reached. its a sign for me to shut the fuck up. note taken. thanks tumblr.

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allofuswantgwinam · 2 months

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it terrifies me the way so many people keep living without even batting an eye about the genocide that’s happening right in front of our eyes. i will never shut the fuck up about this.

#from the river to the sea #free Palestine #im so fucking pissed rn #was just havin a conversation with my mom and it did not go well #and i want throw up and cry #she makes me so mad #she knows this is wrong #idgaf if she’s scared of trump. idgaf if this is stressful and scary to her it is to me fucking too #which is why I will not ever stfu about this #or ignore this or forget what is going on #and live in comfort #I think the fuck not #I wanna fucking lose my shit rn but I’m not bc that won’t help anything #she’s already said before ‘I don’t have to know anything to know that it’s wrong’ so fucking accept what I have to say then #i pay attention #I know wtf is going on. let me be your fucking tool to help with this instead of getting upset with me!!!!!#she is being a coward #she knows this isn’t right. she’s being selfish #i understand it’s hard but like that’s why we fight #that’s what drives you. the outrage and pain you feel watching innocent people get murdered #I can’t understand her rn. im so done with people her age

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silenthillbunni · 2 months

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🤧🐀🌧️🌊

#need to clear my head;#im in such a bad mood. my face is in a perpetual angry state. im just so so bitter nd pessimistic rn #trying not to get stuck in negative chaos thought spirals nd to just take it as it come #nd be patient bc recovery takes time i know. but i havent been able to feel healthy or functional for 7 months nd i am so tired #i cant help but worry abt my health nd what kinda diet i can have nd how to work all of that out.#like the removal of the gallbladder dont ensure a good digestive system. they remove it bc it can irrepairably hurt u #also im so so stressed out abt school nd my courses. i already had to drop one last week. nd it isnt looking like i'll be able to pass my #eng class.. it just isnt looking like it's realistic at all :/ i personally dont mind if i fail. but i can get issues w my wellfare hmm #bc like im still feeling rough nd u only get sick leave for one week after surgery.. so i have to go on thursday nd friday but im gnna #be in pain plus be so hungry nd be unable to concentrate idk #idk idk!! im already willing to take out loans to finish my upper secondary school.. but i have to make it work w timing nd stuff so im not #sitting here unable to pay rent or the bills or food lmao. so idk have to fix it somehow #nd the pressure of this country rapidly declining state is stressing me tf out!! having nazi conservative rightists in the ruling is just #dreadful!!!! for many reasons but atm idek if i can do distance classes like i wanted to ://#i just.. wanna be able to go for my long walks. go to the gym. eat normally. have coffee. study nd finish highschool.#then apply for whatever program i can nd move to another calmer city. prob eventually find a path to move to another country. like norway..#im thinking too much but my thoughts are spinning nd killing me like i cant stop it im so scared nd anxious lmao 💀#im also trying to be brave and write to the psych clinic for personality disorders nd be upset nd 'beg' them for help ksksksks.#but like... the thing abt having avpd is that i kinda dont wanna bc im scared of the possibility of them helping me lol #im just in a low place nd bad headspace and it's just getring worse nd im getting more nd more tired #i dont have much more energy to keep it together nd pretend like im ok or like i have hope lmaoooo idk what to do #anyway... idk idk guess i just gotta .. keep crawling forward anyway i can

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hershelchocolateart · 7 months

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GIRL HELP I WASNT EXPECTING THE SATURATION PSA TO BE THE MOST POPULAR DRAWING-RELATED THING IVE EVER MADE IN MY LIFE

#ITS STILL GOING #i had to turn off notifs it was just too much and all the comments were people being upset #shoutout to the one person who left a tag about my sona being cute tho <3 #not art #god its so scary tho #i still dont really know what to do with myself now #i want to get back to drawing things but im terrified of it now not gonna lie #had to force myself to do a just right of an evening panel today and couldnt keep going #i know how to fix it now! i do!#but theres no point to it if i cant fix it on toyhouse #so im just sitting here feeling scared and overwhelmed and also not drawing #my queue still has some stuff tho so that should be going for a while while i get back on my feet!#good luck everyone out there also trying to figure out what to do!

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goldkirk · 7 months

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#Im flying home for the last time this year barring another death in the family #and it’s going to be fine everyone’s going to be nice to me like nothing ever happened #and I’m still shitting bricks over here #because Im going to be in a car alone with my sister who I called cps on and we NEVER talked about it aside from her asking me if I could #tell them what I could tell CPS #and mom and dad being super upset with me about it #and relaying how upset everyone was and—I went go into more details #that’s been over for a while #but i feel like everyone is silently angry at me about it bc of how big an emotional and financial problem that was and how much of a #betrayal it was #and I’ve been processing so much religious training trauma and stuff #and processing getting locked in the room weekly at my sisters house #and some of the things I was taught to do to keep the kids in line #and how bad the fighting was between my mom and sister and me during college #and I feel terrible about being so scared about this because #i AM an adult with agency #and i AM choosing to see them #and it’s NICE of them to drive me places #and they’ve been super nice the last couple times I was in town #but conversations and interrogations were usually sprung on me when we were one on one #and if things are like they used to be mom and my sister are always passing info back and forth about me and angling for info to share with #each other to get ideas on how to get me back on the straight and narrow #and i feel crazy for talking about all this #but i still feel SO MUCH GUILT because nothing super bad was happening when I called CPS #and people were working on it behind the scenes and I just didn’t trust and give them time #and last time I was in town I saw another book about bringing your kid back to the faith and morality out on mom’s desk #shh katie #continuing in next post tags bc I ran out of tags here

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coyoxxtl · 3 months

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tumblr centrist liberals stop acting like voting is the most influential and important political activity you can participate in challenge

#me donating to mutual aid posts on tumblr and donating esims to people in gaza has done worlds more influence than any vote i ever did #people who risk their lives in protests do more than voting #i firmly believe that #this isnt a Voting is Pointless post this is Voting is the Barest Minimum #voting is easy. when there’s no outside barriers its so fucking easy.#you fill in a card and call it a day. its easy to feel like you made a difference when all you did is fill in some dots.#yall barely even follow up on who you vote for or even Care if the people you vote for fail you #its the perfect thing for weak liberals to attach to #treat it like the be all end all with activism and you have the easiest get out of real political action card #no need to get your hands dirty if you did all you needed to #as someone who DOES vote. voting is the easiest political thing i engage with. everything else is a risk. or at least a sacrifice.#voting is barely anything to me. i dont feel like i do Anything with it. but donating. making political art. THATS something. thats REAL.#i would go to big protests if i lived somewhere with them #like i understand. wanting voting to be enough. im a heavily depressed bitch who feels like they cant engage with anything big or important #i know tumblr is full of those types. yall dont want to do anything. yall dont want to be uncomfortable or upset or anything negative.#personal comfort above all else. thats what tumblr is. thats what centrist liberals are. there’s no real desire to break out-#of the comfort zone or status quo respectively. yall are scared to get Involved. and i am too. but with how current events are going…#i can see that i don’t want to be that anymore. i know i need to be more than that. its hard and risky but i Need to.#and so do yall. yall NEED to engage with activism outside of voting. or you’re doing nothing.#txt

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seariii · 8 months

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The argument for guilty/unforgiven Amane is not just to prevent her from hurting Shidou.

Sorry (⁠｡⁠•́⁠︿⁠•̀⁠｡⁠) I really don't intend to change your vote or anything, but it's been stressing me out that some people seem to believe that's it with our argument.

Amane has "warned" Mahiru, which to me reads like a threat. Even if she couldn't actually kill Shidou, Mahiru here who is an easy target, who can't move properly, could easily be hurt or killed by her.

And on the other hand Amane doesn't have to kill Shidou, she just has to hurt him, and that could honestly be easy with a surprise and quick attack. She could incapacitate him and prevent him from giving health care to others. And this is important because Haruka is gonna try to kill himself, and he's gonna need urgent care afterwards.

And I've got a feeling some way or another we are gonna get some more people harmed in between t2 and t3.

So yeah we care about Shidou, but we care more about him being the only doctor and what that means to the others. That's why I posted this whole trial feeling like the trolley problem lol.

(there is also the argument that worries me the most that is Amane trying to convert Fuuta, but that's another post that someone else already made)

I love Amane and I honestly don't see her killing her abuser as something wrong, but she sees her murder as something supported by the cult. So I believe neither verdicts will be good for her, I feel since she got voted guilty on t1 she was doomed. But either way whether she ends up forgiven or unforgiven, I'll still be excited to see what happens next. I just don't like people missinterpreting our arguments.

So whether you are an inno or a guilty voter, don't forget to vote <3 and hope you all have a good day

#when i finished watching her mv i yelled 'YOU GO GIRL' it was 4am on a weekday #i just needed to get it off my chest because its something that stresses me out way too much. people missinterpreting what im saying #also amane reminds me of myself when i was her age? and that's really concerning #also i was gonna put the letters in red but when i saw it it felt to aggressive and i started panicking. i so dont want to offend anyone #milgram #amane momose #shidou kirisaki #mahiru shiina #tw abuse #tw cult #tw suicide #i am panicking as im typing this because im so scared of making someone upset. i wouldn't post it but idk why it stresses me out so much #when i feel like i cant get my point across properly and that has made me overexplain myself for years... sigh... here goes nothing i guess

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caffeinatedopossum · 11 months

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Vibrating with suicidal urges right now

#i hate the things that make me upset so much #like why is this such a big deal to me!!#its beyond embarrassing its like i literally need to die before i ever say how i really think about it #i feel like no one understands and im too scared of them misunderstanding to try #why am i like this

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